When people do us wrong, we always seek justice. Occasionally, justice is served by law or divine intervention. Other times, we need to take matters into our own hands. From playing by the rules to getting down and dirty, read on as these people reveal the times they took revenge way too far.
1. An Unexplained Injury
A man followed my mum home from her work, a bar, about 20 minutes away on foot. He followed her into the house, almost breaking the door, and was just out in the living room. I was upstairs at the time, so I only heard, but when she yelled, "Get out of my house," I picked up a hatchet from my stepdad's tools and ran downstairs.
I told him that in 10 seconds, if he wasn’t going to get out of my house, he was going to get seriously hurt. He ran, tripped over the door frame, and knocked himself out cold on the driveway. He started to bleed, the works. My mom told me to call my stepdad who was at his friend's house, and they both came running to get rid of him. His injuries were jaw-dropping.
Last I heard, he was deaf in his left ear and blind in his left eye from an unexplained head injury.
2. Sick To His Stomach
My old roommate kept eating all my food, constantly, for almost a year. One of my greatest frustrations was him consuming all my almond milk before I got to have any. Now, after a really rough day, I would come home and have a bowl of Cocoa Puffs or some other childish comfort food cereal…it was all a part of my process.
I didn’t necessarily like almond milk, but it lasted a lot longer…and it was mine. Well, after months of discussing with him repeatedly whose almond milk and other food he kept consuming, I just filled the container up with real milk, looked at the container, and said, “Screw that guy”. I put it back in the fridge, and that was that.
A couple of days later, I came home from work and found the horrible roommate on the floor doubled over whining and moaning. I’m pretty sure he pooped his pants. I asked if he needed an ambulance and he said no, so I went to my room and put on headphones. I had no idea how badly lactose-intolerant people could get hurt from it.
I sort of felt bad, but also there were literal months of warnings not to touch that bottle of almond milk. Also, like I said, screw that guy.
3. A Birthday Blast
I wasn’t cool in junior high. Evan was in most of my classes and he wasn’t cool either, but apparently, he thought that I was lame enough that I would be a viable target. He would mock me at any opportunity, and there were plenty since I was a weird kid. I remember he liked to lick his hand and smear it over my locker. It was disgusting.
For revenge, Evan had a reputation for being a nerd, and he liked to brag about how smart he was, how he was a math wiz, and so on. For each class, all of the student grades were posted on a tack board. Each student had a “unique number” assigned to them. To find your grade, you first had to find your number, and the grade for each exam and class project was posted next to it.
I realized at some point that my unique number had my birth month and day in the middle, with random numbers before and after. A friend confirmed that their number also included their birthday. Evan made the mistake of mentioning one day that his birthday was on St. Patrick’s day. You can probably see where this is going.
One day, in math class, we got one of our exams back. Evan saw my grade and started laughing at me, calling me stupid for "only" getting a B+. He wanted to know how I did so badly on a test that was so easy. I asked him what he got on the test. “A+,” he told me smugly. “Yeah?” I said, “Let’s see it then”. But he wouldn’t show me his paper.
He had conveniently already sorted it away in a folder. I decided to see what his grade was for myself. I marched over to the grade board, and searched for the student number with 317 in it, since that’s St. Patrick’s day. I found it. And that's when I exposed him for the liar he truly was. Next to his number: Ds, Fs, more Ds. I announced to the class that you can just use someone’s birthday to figure out their number and grade.
I locked eyes with Evan and began listing each of his grades out loud like the horrible person that I am. I still remember the look on his face. It was abject horror that quickly morphed into a broken, hopeless expression. Then, he started crying and left the classroom. This kid wasn’t cool, he wasn’t attractive. All he had was his intelligence—or the lie about it, anyway.
Now he had nothing, and on top of that, he cried openly in class. The kid never lived it down…not as long as I knew him anyway, which truthfully was only another year or so. I only got a stern talking-to for what I had done, but Evan got ridiculed for the rest of the time he went to that school. I don’t think I realized the full scope of what I had done until I was older.
We were both losers just trying to make it through junior high without too much emotional damage, and I had to nuke this kid over some snarky comment that didn’t really mean much of anything at the end of the day.
4. Play By The Rules
When I was in the eighth grade, we had this new kid named Caleb move to our town. He came from a rough home in a different city and had been sent to live with his aunt and uncle in our small little town. Anyways, he managed to fit in pretty well and became friends with most of the boys in a fairly short amount of time.
So, one day at recess, all the boys are playing basketball outside on a cement pad with hoops at either end. Caleb, hoping to show off how tough he is, decides to start not playing by the rules. He's committing hard fouls, literally punching other kids in the arm when they went up for shots, and even missed one time and punched a kid in the face.
He says, "What, we're playing by street rules?" A couple of days later, he's still doing this and still using the same excuses. We've all told him to stop and play normally, but he won't. So, I decided it was time to teach him a lesson. I get the ball right under the hoop and fake like I'm going up for the shot to get him off his feet. Then I bend at the hips and get really low.
His knees basically come in contact with my side and he does a full flip and lands flat on his bum. I stand back up, make my shot, and say, "Street rules, right?" It's at this point that I realize something is terribly wrong. He's actually in quite a lot of pain. As it turns out, he broke his tailbone. But, when he recovered, you better believe he played basketball by the rules.
5. In The Wrong Element
We had one person in our project group at university who wasn't pulling his weight. He would submit things translated from different languages that were not in English, he would submit them without any references, and he would never attend meetings. Looking back, he was probably just out of his element, but it didn't feel like he was even trying.
My group decided, on a day he didn't come to class, to purposefully avoid a meeting we had planned for right after, to tell him we had a very large test that day he had missed. We just sent some messages in the group chat saying, "That was a hard test," and, "Does anyone know how much that was weighted? I know I failed". One look at the course outline and you could see we had not had a test.
He dropped the class the next day.
6. A Violation Of Privacy
I was pretty immature as a 14-year-old, and I was also very much into computers at a time when they were just becoming popular. So, security, both in terms of services and people not knowing not to run random programs they get e-mailed, wasn't that great. I thought it would be funny to break into one of my friends' accounts.
I had both people's passwords and employee access to AOL, so I could tell what private chat rooms people were in when, usually, you could only know that they were in a private chat room. I was basically a virus. I read all their emails. It didn't take long to find out people's secrets if they used a computer. One day, one guy wouldn't stop making fun of me.
It was nothing serious, just the usual teasing among friends, but I pulled him aside and absolutely roasted him based on his private chat rooms. The dude was mortified. As I said, I was a terrible guy at that age and didn't appreciate the impact of an implied threat of outing kids with unusual fetishes in the 90s. Obviously, it's still wrong to out people now.
I also didn’t realize how wrong it was to violate people's privacy by getting into their accounts.
7. Stepped Away Unscathed
This guy in middle school would always walk by my desk and hit me in the back of the head with his textbook. I saw him running down the hallway chasing his friend and stuck my foot out. He tripped over it running full tilt and went flying into one of those metal dividers that they have between doors. I never expected to witness a blood bath.
He shattered a ton of teeth and broke his nose. I quietly let myself out the side door. It was a semi-crowded hallway so nobody knew it was my fault.
8. The Shampoo Swap Out
My housemate got upset because our other housemate was supposedly using her shampoo. In revenge, she swapped the contents of the shampoo bottle with…Hair removal cream. I was aghast when she told me what she’d done, but by then it was too late.
9. Talented At Revenge
My high school art teacher was snappy and very rude. Let's call her Mrs B. Mrs B also had her very own clique of "talented" students. Basically, if she didn't like your art, she didn't like you. That same energy was directed towards my friends and me. I didn't take too kindly to this. So, I joined her AP art class, which was a fast-track way to becoming one of her favorites.
Now, Mrs B had a habit of divulging all of her dirty laundry to her favorites because they were her “friends”. She was telling minors things that no student/child should know about their teacher, like the details of her divorce or how she was involved with a married man. I gathered all of these details from the last semester of my junior year of high school to the end of the first semester of my senior year.
This was when I told my Spanish teacher, Mrs J. Mrs J didn't like Mrs B, so the principal was obviously informed. By the end of the day, every teacher, student, and faculty member was told one way or another. Mrs B's reputation had been ruined and she was forced to resign. I have no regrets.
10. Someone His Own Size
This was over 20 years ago now, so I feel like I can talk about this. I actually genuinely still feel bad about this one. At the time, I had no remorse, but I’m older and wiser now. I was at school and this kid was pushing around the Indian children and calling them horrible names and saying he hates them. I’m half Indian, so I told him to push me around if he likes pushing Indians around.
He tried to push me, but I was quicker and more mobile than him, so I pushed him first, and hard. I wasn’t expecting him to fall down the stairs and break his arm. I saw him a little while ago and apologized. At the time, like I said, I felt no remorse, but I realized with age and maturity that I was no better than him really.
11. The Borrowed Book
Once in high school, my best friend borrowed a school book from me, because she wanted to copy the important pages and she couldn't find hers. After that, she told me she gave it back to me and that I just lost it somewhere. She definitely did NOT. Since it wasn't her problem, she didn't bother searching with me. Spoiler: I never saw that book again.
Fast forward a few weeks, exams were coming up. It's maybe three weeks before and I don't have a book to learn with. I remembered I was still mad that she lost my book. Under pressure, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I took her book out of her backpack and took it home. At first, I just wanted to copy the whole book and give it back without her noticing. Spoiler: I did not.
We didn't really have a good relationship then, because she would get mad at me for days and talk to me when she didn't understand something, and I was sick of it. To get to the point, she failed the exam. She started asking me about the book three days before the test. Apparently, she didn't notice it was missing for three whole weeks.
I still have mixed feelings about this and I kind of feel bad because I could have just bought a new one. She was kind of toxic at the end though.
12. Best To The Worst
There was a co-worker who bought a new car when gas prices were high and he constantly bragged about how much money he was saving. He kept also saying how great his gas mileage was. A co-worker decided to play a cruel prank on him. Each day, he snuck out to the parking lot and secretly topped off his gas tank. He did it really consistently.
The daily bragging continued, and after about two weeks, we stopped secretly adding gas to his new car. Suddenly, he stopped bragging about his gas mileage and how much money he was saving. After another couple of weeks, we asked him for an update on the car. He told us he sold it because it was a terrible car and his gas mileage decreased drastically.
We never told him about the prank.
13. Cost Of Bad Behaviour
My older brother was being so rude to me one day, so I decided to hop on his GTA 5 and sell his custom cars. I tried to play dumb at first, but then he hit me with the, "You know what you did". I honestly still feel really bad about it. Also, this was on the Xbox 360 servers, so some of the cars were actually modded.
14. Left In The Dust
I had a good friend in fifth grade that became popular pretty quickly and left me in the dust. I was shy, quiet, awkward, and jealous. There was one day that she brushed me off in a really embarrassing way, so I got angry. I snuck into the classroom during recess and wrote a nasty note about how awful she was and how nobody really liked her.
I disguised my handwriting and hid it in her desk. She found it next period and burst into tears and then showed the teacher. The teacher brought each person she suspected, based on handwriting and intent, out into the hall to have one-on-one conversations. I broke down and admitted it was me. I felt so bad the second my friend started to cry, and we barely spoke from that point on. I was a coward.
15. Rehashing Old Wounds
Once it was my turn to clean the house. My sister and I would take turns. So, I was doing it, but I had a specific order to do the tasks. I would do everything anyway, but would always leave wiping the floor for last. This time, the kitchen's floor was nasty and my sister wanted me to wipe it that very moment while I was busy cleaning our room.
She really wanted to go in there and cook something for herself. I refused, and we started to argue, and she got physically violent. So, I said, "If you want it clean that much, do it yourself! Maybe you can get something right". She started crying because the day before, when it was her turn, my mom came from work and my sister had done a poor job with the cleaning, so my mom fought with her. I felt bad when I saw her crying.
16. They Deserved It
I’ve never told a single soul this…Not my husband, my best friend, or even my therapist. So for some background to the story, something really horrible happened to me when I was only 15. I only told my two best friends at the time what had happened and one of them told me I deserved it. Keep in mind, this was my BEST FRIEND. She had been for years.
They tore me down so emotionally for months and even years after. They had me convinced that I was damaged goods and that no one would ever love me. We fell out of touch once they left for college. I tamped down my hatred and went about my life. YEARS later, I mean, well into my 20s, something in me finally snapped—and I was bound and determined to get revenge.
So, I shipped them poop. Literal poop. I found their address online and anonymously had a box of horse and elephant poop shipped to their home. I paid extra to have it covered in confetti and made it look like a cupcake. Well, their toddler decided to play in it. It made a mess of themselves and the kitchen. I guess it was so bad they hired a professional to come clean it up.
How do I know this? A relative of mine goes to the same church as my ex best friend's mom! She told my relative at the church and that’s how I found out. I felt, and still feel, horribly guilty.
17. Right Off The Walk
First, let me just say I was a very angry young man in high school. I'm no longer so angry. I'm not sure why, but this one kid seemed to have fun pushing people off the walk in the outdoor hallways in between periods. He'd wait until just before the bell rang and then push you right into a mud puddle. He got me twice. I noticed that this guy walked to school, like myself.
We went in opposite directions, but I knew his neighborhood and I knew the path he'd have to take. I waited for him to come around the corner—and then gave him a taste of his own medicine. I shoved him to the ground and whispered something threatening in his ear. I think I really scared him, but he avoided me at school after that and I saw less and less of him until one day I realized I just didn't see him around at all anymore.
I'm not quite sure what I intended beyond getting him to stop messing with me, but I suspect I did way more than that.
18. A Small Bit Of Encouragement
In high school, a buddy jumped onto the hood of my car as I was heading towards the exit of the parking lot. I asked him to get off, but he demanded a ride to his car. I obliged, but I stopped rather abruptly to "encourage" him off of my hood. He broke his arm on the landing. I still feel bad about that one, and this was back in 1998 or 1999.
19. Good And Proper
When I was at school, everyone was running around and back-handing people in the groin. I never got involved because I don’t leave stuff once it starts. Someone got me and I got them back. I told them we were even and to leave it alone. He didn’t. He got me good and proper. I ran after him. As he turned around to face me, I hopped, skipped, jumped, and hoofed my kicker boot into his bollocks and basically made them disappear.
He dropped to the floor, had to go to the hospital, and have a circumcision performed due to his bell-end swelling up so much.
20. Middle School Madness
Back in middle school, me and this girl would always pull pranks on each other. The day before I sought revenge, she splashed water on me. I really wanted to get back at her. I found out that she really hates it when people talk about bugs during lunch. So, I got two of my homies on board and sat near her and talked about bugs, including frying them, eating them, and more.
It was just to get on her nerves. As it turns out, she REALLY doesn't like them. She went outside and vomited a little. I apologized because I actually felt really bad. She also didn't tell the teacher, because we had a silent agreement that unless the prank got too bad, we wouldn't rat each other out. Those were some fun days.
21. What Happens To Me, Happens To You
Somehow, in school, someone pulled my personal diary out of a bag and took it to our headmaster. The master read it to my guardian over the phone, then tore it into small pieces and threw it away. According to her, she did it because there were a lot of mats. Well, two could play that game. During the break, I just went in and tore up all the notebooks that were on her desk and poured the contents of the trash can on her desk.
22. The Best Revenge Is No Revenge
As a wise old lady I used to work for once told me, "The best revenge is no revenge". She thought it was best to make them think you're going to utterly embarrass them and actually do nothing. One of two things will happen: nothing, or they will have a full-blown panic attack. I used this once on a former friend who tried to coerce my wife into sleeping with him.
By the way, my wife wouldn't give this fool the time of day. I let him know I knew about the scenario and told him I was coming for him. He literally and legitimately had a full-blown mental breakdown. I sat back and did nothing. Part of me feels bad for damaging him psychologically, part of me doesn't. So, I don’t know how to feel anymore other than relief he is out of my life.
23. Rough And Wild
My brother is seven years older than me. He was always way too rough and wild with me. One time, when I was six and he was 13, we were playing some game called cop and robber. I was the cop and thought, “Now I’M the boss!” So, I took that opportunity to put him in lockup, which was in the basement, by hitting him square in the back from the top of the stairs.
He had to jump to catch himself so he didn’t break his neck. His foot hurt for several days, but my mom told him to walk it off. Yes…he broke his foot. I still feel bad about it.
24. Always Say No
I systematically destroyed a girl who keyed my car and slashed my tires. She cheated with my best friend's boyfriend. I told her boyfriend about it. I also got her on video admitting to it, including keying my car and slashing my tires. I then had her incarcerated and I informed her employer. Oh, but I didn't stop there. I ended up getting a restraining order too.
So, on top of all of the above, she also got evicted since we lived in the same building. She came screaming at me in public, so I pressed charges. Because she shoved me on camera and at a coffee shop, after I had that restraining order, she got time in lock-up. I pretty much just pushed for consequences to her actions. When asked if I would accept lesser charges for her, I said no.
25. Lessons To Be Learned
I was in JROTC in high school. I was in my third year and had gained some credit with some of the recruiters that would come to the high school. We had this one kid, who I will just call Chad, who was always making threats. He would say, “I will beat you up because I'm bigger than you”. He was the kind of jock that would refuse to listen to anything we would tell him to do.
He was also incredibly mean which hit me personally since I was a bullied kid all through school and JROTC really helped me through some tough times. Chad was assigned to my classroom and I was his squad leader. Bear in mind, JROTC doesn't mean we can do things like make them do push-ups whenever, but when we would do certain drills, the teachers would give us some leeway.
I was always very fair with everyone in my squad. You didn't get punished until you actually messed up. Chad decides he wouldn't listen to me or any advice on how to march better. He kept threatening to beat me up, and so on. This went on for several weeks, and then I discovered he had signed on with one of the recruiters.
I asked a few questions about what he thought of Chad, and he had a very high opinion of him and thought he would do very well. I knew where the recruiters parked, which gave a nice full view of where we would do drills. So, I asked the recruiter to just sit in his car and watch during the time when I would be leading drills that day.
Needless to say, Chad did what he always did. He slacked off and was wildly arrogant with me just because I was smaller. Afterwards, I learned that not only the recruiter wouldn't sign him, but the entire office he worked in wouldn't. He would have had to go to the next town over after he graduated to find a recruiter that would give him the time of day.
Even then, he would have to explain why his local one wouldn't take him. I earned a reputation after that whenever kids had issues with arrogant guys because I found ways to make them pay for it long-term without throwing a punch. I don't really feel bad about it. If you're joining JROTC, be ready to take orders from someone smaller than you even if you don't like it.
26. Snipping With Safety Scissors
This is a story my mom would never let me live down, even though I was still quite young at the time and barely remember it. For context: I was always a really quiet, nice, and polite kid. One day in daycare, me and the other kids were all doing some arts and crafts, and I asked the girl next to me to pass me a certain crayon.
According to the workers at the daycare, she was apparently quite mean in telling me "no". So, apparently after a moment's silence, I just grabbed the nearest safety scissors and just snipped off a bit of her hair. Then, I just grabbed the crayon and went on like nothing happened, while she sat there in shock. I still don't know what came over me that day.
My mom always tells me that she got a call that day from the workers, who were trying hard not to laugh when they told her that I just casually, and out of nowhere, cut this girl's hair like it was nothing. In hindsight, it wasn't really funny, but I guess the juxtaposition of that behavior coming from me was surprising. I do feel bad about it though.
27. Pointing Out Insecurities
When I was a very young kid, probably in first or second grade, my mom was helping me with homework. It was just spelling and handwriting exercises, but we were both tired and frustrated. I was being difficult on purpose, and she snapped at me and said something along the lines of, “You need to do this homework so your handwriting gets better”.
In my kid brain, I interpreted that as her telling me I was stupid. I snapped back, “At least I don’t have a bunch of pimples on my face”. At that moment, it felt like a killer comeback. My mom had severe hormonal acne after she had my little sister, and it didn’t end up going away until more than a decade later. It was her biggest insecurity.
Yeah, that was the first time I ever saw my mom cry like that. I just got this horrible sinking feeling, and I think it was the first time I realized that adults had real emotions and weren’t just detached, godlike figures. It still breaks my heart to this day.
28. The Whole Nine Yards
I got tired of a classmate who would cheat by looking at my test. He was sort of a terrible kid, but I wasn’t a good target because I would fight back. I noticed that his math grades improved while sitting next to me and realized why…so during the next test, I just wrote all kinds of wrong answers. VERY wrong answers. He should have known they weren’t right.
But, he just jumped up and turned in his test. I smiled at him and erased all of my answers and wrote the correct ones. He got ZERO, and the teacher knew then something was up. He was subsequently made to do his tests alone in the corner of the room. His parents were called and they went the whole nine yards. I think he had to even repeat the class.
I sort of felt bad that he got busted, but fifth grade me was mean enough not to let it bother me for long.
29. Up For Sale
I bought a house from my father-in-law’s best friend. It was maybe $20,000, in the worst part of the state and I was 22 years old. He screwed me over. The house was so messed up. There were addicts who came and stole my tools and whatever I bought. The amount they stole was way more than what the house was worth. They screwed me over for about $45,000 in total.
I knew he messed around with me. He has a family with three kids and a good reputation. I pretended to be a call girl and messaged him on Facebook. It made it completely clear that he was being inappropriate, wanted it, and was willing to pay. I set up a meeting spot in a hotel, but never showed up. I showed everything to his wife via Facebook. She saw it, and only said thanks.
They are still together. I feel bad sometimes, but not too bad though.
30. Car Wash Cry
Two of my friends had crushes on me in high school and drew on my car in a paint pen as a way of just being flirty and funny. I had really bad social anxiety and depression at the time and convinced myself that they were doing it to set me up or mock me, so I told them to never do anything like that again and I took my car to the car wash that day.
I was a lot meaner than this makes it sound. I’m pretty sure I made them both angry and cry. I never apologized to them because I hadn't grown up enough to understand my own emotions before graduating. I never saw either of them after graduating, but even if I did see them, apologizing wouldn't be for them. It would be for me. That makes it almost more selfish to apologize this many years later if I ever do see them.
31. A Strange Coping Mechanism
I had a "friend" in high school that liked to poach other girls’ boyfriends if they did her wrong, even minorly. I'm not sure where she got the idea that we were best friends, but she just wouldn't stop telling me about her escapades. She slept with a friend's boyfriend and I just snapped. I went on the school's student website and just put it all out there.
I posted who she had slept with, who she had her sights set on, and all of the things she was saying about everyone. She lasted two weeks before she left the school. I later learned she had been committed for a breakdown. I guess she had an undiagnosed mental illness and bad home life, so her coping mechanism was this type of gratification. We're Facebook friends now. She's doing really well.
32. Should’ve Moved On
When I was in my late teens, I was newly involved with a girl who cheated on me. So, I went out of my way to get involved with her childhood best friend. I ended up hurting both of them, and permanently ending their relationship as far as I know. I've always seriously regretted the whole thing because it was so unnecessary and immature of me to act like that when I should have just let it go and moved on.
33. Count Of Monte Cristo Moment
In fourth grade, during indoor recess, I unlocked my teacher's desk and another group of students went through her desk. A girl ratted me out and I got a week of detention. I was incredibly sad. Three years later, this person ended up in front of me in one of my classes and I noticed she would cheat on her tests by leaving a study sheet just on the floor.
After class one day, I went to the teacher and explained that wink, wink, he should watch for people cheating extra carefully next time we had a test. Sure enough, the next time we had a test, he found her study sheet just laying there, and she started crying. That was my Count of Monte Cristo moment.
34. Close For Comfort
One of my best friends was flirting with my girlfriend at the time and she broke up with me to date him. I was in pretty bad shape because of that breakup. The truly messed up thing is that they kept sending me screen captures of their messages to each other. The guy even called me sometimes to tease me for some reason.
But, I kept them close, talking to them and all…until they inevitably broke up. They all find me to talk about it, and I just put more salt in their wounds. One day, I saw my ex was absolutely miserable. She looked like she was up all night crying. I admit I was pretty petty back then, but it did make me feel much better afterward.
35. Revenge With A Rumor
A buddy of mine, who was kind of privileged, was going to a high-profile NBA game with his dad, and he was bragging about it nonstop like he always did. The game was on national TV, so the next day, I told a few people to tell him we all saw him on TV and that he was picking his nose. The rumor spread like wildfire and to this day people still remember the time he was "on TV picking his nose".
36. Out In The Open
I came out of a bleak depression after my sophomore year of high school. My "friend," the leader of my clique, didn't like my newfound confidence, so he bullied me relentlessly and made up things I said to the rest of the friend group. I lost all my friends and went back into a depression. I outed him as gay, which was the only weapon I had.
I caused him to get bullied and beaten up. I don't feel bad about him being bullied or beaten up. He deserved it. What I feel bad about is that series of events led to his beard being outed as a lesbian. She didn't do many things wrong and it caused her tremendous problems at home. The man who sets out on the path of revenge must dig two graves first.
37. Returning The Favor
I was such a dumb kid! My older sister had recently learned what a spit take was and took the opportunity to show me, spraying unsuspecting young me with water and spit in the process. I tried to return the favor, but I was too young to understand how she got the water to spray into a mist. Instead, I spat a full mouthful of water Squirtle style all over her.
She was laying down so went straight up her nose and sent her into a coughing fit! I regretted it the second the water left my mouth.
38. Swiped And Stuffed
In sixth grade, this kid had a really nice pencil. I wanted it. I didn’t really have a huge problem with the kid, other than that I found him annoying at times. It was perfectly sharpened with a perfect eraser. It was just an ordinary number 2 pencil, just really nice. In the middle of class, he left the room to go to the bathroom, and when no one was looking, I swiped the pencil off his desk and stuffed it in my backpack.
The kid got back, and was very bummed out that his good pencil had vanished. He looked everywhere, but couldn’t find it. I felt very guilty. After about five minutes or so of him looking, I grabbed the pencil from my bag and put it on the floor under his chair while nobody was looking. I pointed it out to him, and he was as happy as a clam that I found his pencil.
Even though I technically gave him back the pencil, I still feel guilty about it to this day.
39. Deeper Than Detention
I was in elementary school and rode my bike to school every day. One day, in the bike lock area, I had another student approach me carrying his bike chain. He was pretending to be tough and made some vague threats towards me about hitting me with his bike chain. I retaliated by informing my teacher of the incident and we were both called to the principal's office.
I was asked to tell my side and I told the principal how the kid threatened to hit me with his bike chain. Apparently, he had been having behavioral issues leading up to this, and because of this interaction, he was being expelled. This was way more than I expected. I was hoping for detention or some after-school hours, not full expulsion. I never saw him again. I still feel bad to this day.
40. Not In The Budget
My office chair broke, so I requisitioned a new one at work. It was about $400 and ergonomic. It was the same chair the general manager has. The guy who ordered the chair for me decided I didn't need an expensive office chair and just got me the same chair that had been hurting my back for two years. He said it wasn't in the budget. A year or so later, this same guy decides he needs a laptop to do his job instead of a desktop. I got the perfect revenge.
So, I ordered him a Dell Mini Netbook. I told him the MacBook Pro he wanted wasn't in the budget.
41. The Best Money Ever Spent
My college girlfriend came into a substantial inheritance and dumped me because she didn't see any financial potential in me. She also didn't want me coming near any of the money she'd just received. About five years later, we ran into each other. For reasons beyond the scope of this story, I happened to have over $4,000 cash in my wallet.
She came up to say hi and tried to chit-chat with me. I cut her off, took a hundred-dollar bill out of my wallet, crumpled it up, threw it at her, and said, "Hey, great to see you, but I don't have time for small talk. Here. Go get yourself some lunch". The look on her face made that the best hundred bucks I ever spent.
42. Staying Vindictive Forever
My cousin has always been very stubborn, and loves to get back at people. She discovered, through her mom, that her grandmother called her "vindictive". To get back at her, she had it tattooed across her back…Needless to say, I don't speak with this cousin anymore. She’s kind of a menace to society at this point.
43. Revenged Reinforced
When I was in high school, I was small for my age and this kid was always picking on me. One day, I had enough and when he was running down the hall to the door outside I tripped him. He fell and went through the bottom wire-reinforced pane of the door and cut his arm and face. I felt horrible.
44. A Little Too Far
My sister was being rude to me as a kid. So, when I next gave her a glass of milk, I put some kernels of corn in it, thinking it would gross her out. It didn't. It choked her. Cut to me giving my kid sister the Heimlich, and apologizing for years after.
45. Just For The Worst Of Enemies
One time, my brother poked my sides while I was washing dishes. I retaliated by donkey-kicking his groin with all my force. I’d never done that to anybody before and I learned to only do that to my worst enemies.
46. Hurting For Cash
In third grade, this guy, maybe two years older than me, shot me in the eye with a rubber band. Needless to say, I stole forty smackers from him and bought the sweetest legos EVER.
47. A Sisterly Spill
A girl at school kept telling her friends that my sister was sleeping around. No way was I about to let her get away with that. So, I "accidentally" spilled chili on her new shirt. It turns out her gram had just died, and they had gone shopping for that shirt together the week before, making it the last thing she ever gave her.
She was out of school for about a month for personal stuff. I do feel bad about it because my sister was actually sleeping around.
48. Cocky To Crying
I told the girl who was being rude to me and my friend that her divorcing parents weren't arguing about who got to keep her, they were arguing about who HAD to keep her because she was such a nasty, horrible person. I didn't know anything about her home life other than that her parents were getting divorced, but what I said clearly struck a nerve because I have never seen anyone go so fast from cocky and mouthing off to a crumpled wreck crying.
49. The Superficial Cheater
Back in 2004 when I was 25, a guy I was dating cheated on me multiple times. When I found out, he tried to make it seem like it was my fault he cheated because I put on 15 lbs. Meanwhile, I had to take steroids for Lyme disease, resulting in my weight gain. I was so angry that I went a little too far. I posted his phone number on the men seeking men section on Craigslist.
Our mutual friend said he received so many calls when he was at work that he got fired.
50. Never Forget
I’m the only child of a single parent here. We moved a lot. I went to grammar school for a year with a kid who made my life miserable. We moved away. Eventually, we moved back to the area for eighth grade. My math teacher paired me with a kid who wasn’t doing well. It was my former nemesis. He didn’t remember me. So it was time for some serious payback.
I intentionally taught him incorrectly. He ended up failing eighth-grade math and didn’t advance to high school with everyone else.