There’s never a dull moment working at a drive-thru. You never know who’s going to pull up to your window, or what shocking thing a customer will say or do. Thankfully, should you run into trouble during your shift, you can always close your window and lock it shut. From raging Karens to cringe-inducing creeps, these weird moments at the drive-thru will make you shake your head in disbelief.
1. Elephant In The “Room”
I was working at a Tim Hortons in Newfoundland when I was 15. A guy came up to the speaker box, ordered his coffee, and then I heard a weird noise that sounded like an elephant. When he approached the window, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Lo and behold, there was in fact a baby elephant in the back of his pick-up…at the drive-thru…on an island in Canada.
I was so confused, but I just couldn’t bring up the elephant in the room—or in pick-up, I guess.
2. A Big Splash
I worked at a McDonald’s in my sophomore year of high school. Some lady went through the drive-thru at about 1 AM and someone accidentally gave her Diet Coke instead of regular. In her rage, she threw the drink back through the window—but that wasn’t what it made it memorable. It was where the drink landed. The drink splashed right into the hot frying oil and it began to sizzle and splatter—and then, it splashed all over one of our co-workers.
The lady drove away pretty fast, but the manager got her license plate number off the cameras. She was sued for that incident.
3. Right Back Atcha
I have a McDonald’s story. I was out in the car park taking care of bins when a big, bulky family car that had just been through the drive-thru started circling and revving profusely. It caught my attention because it wasn’t like it was a sports car. I didn’t get why he was revving. I soon found out it was because his kid had gotten the wrong topping on his ice cream.
The man yelled through the window at me when I got back inside. His kid also threw the ice cream at me, ruining my uniform. I was pretty ticked off, so I picked it back up and threw it back at the car. As it was sailing its creamy way toward the car again, it suddenly dawned on me that this guy might get out and get me fired, so I froze. Luckily, it landed on the roof cream side down and the guy hadn’t noticed!
So he drove off in his car wearing a little waffle hat. I wish I’d been there to see his face later on. I quit about a week later when an angry customer smeared her excrement on the walls of the washroom.
4. Having Too Much Fun
I once had a group of college students pull into the drive-thru at two in the morning, singing “My Heart Will Go On” (quite well, actually). After they sang the final line, they abruptly accelerated over a concrete slab and into a parked car. The best part? It was my manager’s car.
5. Early Morning Karen
I once worked at Dunkin Donuts for a few months. Once, we had a lovely woman pull up at the drive-thru 20 minutes before it opened. Naturally, my co-worker and I ignored her while we hurried to set up because without the headset on, we had no idea she was even there. And there was no way I was putting that thing on a minute earlier than I had to.
Eventually, she pulled up to the window with an evil-looking face. We gestured to tell her “Sorry, we’re not open yet,” but apparently, she took it personally. She then started banging on the glass. When we opened the window to explain that we couldn’t serve her yet, she began cursing and squeezed her fat self out of the car.
She leaned into the window spewing off insults. We just stared in awe. I think we told her the authorities were coming or something and she left.
6. A Little Tip
I was working at the drive-thru at McDonald’s and this dude pulled up to order an ice cream cone. He was actually nice to me, but I suspected that he was under the influence of something. I left to get the ice cream and when I got back to the window, he was holding up a five-dollar bill. “Dude, look what I just found on the ground!”
“That’s awesome, wish I had that luck” I replied, as my shoulders sagged a little closer to the ground. “Hey, how ’bout you take it? You probably work harder than I do anyway.” I looked around to see if anyone was watching me, then I quickly snatched the cash and discreetly put it in my pocket. I don’t think I was allowed to do that, but screw the system.
7. Slipping Through My Fingers
I used to work at Tim Hortons. When I had to work on the window, I would barely ever look to see it if it was busy. I’m 6’2” tall, so for me to look out of the window, I basically have to double over since the opening was so low. I still cringe when I think about what this led to for one customer. This one day, I was really distracted when I took the customer’s money. I didn’t look properly and when I handed the coffee out the window, I let go when I felt a hand grab the cup.
Immediately I heard an “Oh no!” so I looked out the window and the guy had nubs for fingers. He was waving his hand back and forth trying to get control of the cup enough to bring it in his car. I apologized profusely and he left after a couple of minutes.
8. Get A Room
I was working at the drive-thru at Starbucks and I got these trashy people. I could tell they were trashy because of how much extra Caramel Drizzle they wanted on their Vanilla Beans. When the car pulled up, the girl, who was in the passenger seat, was basically doing indecent stuff to her driver boyfriend. They had zero care in the world. They were so casual about it as if it was totally normal.
To this day, I don’t think I fully understand what happened that night. Thinking back, I wish I had repeated back to them, “Two venti Vanilla Beans with extra cream?”
9. Careful What You Wish For
When I was in high school, I worked at a burger joint. At first, they’d always put me on the fryer, and that really sucked. The guy who supervised me was Joe. Joe was pretty much a jerk, and he was always yelling at me for something. Anyway, one day, they took me off the fryer and put me on the window. I started my shift, and things were going well.
Then, near the end of the night, this one guy rolled back around the drive-thru. I opened the window and he looks me dead in the eye, saying: “My tots aren’t freaking done you stupid piece of garbage.” He then THREW THE BAG at me. Guess who was on the fryer? JOE. So, we cooked the guy some more tots and Joe somehow blamed the mix-up on me.
I worked there for like five more months after that. I did not have much fun. Good shakes though.
10. A Fair Trade?
One early Saturday morning in high school, my buddy and I were blazing really hard. We were absolutely gonzo, and we were challenging ourselves to block the munchies. Every time one of us got an urge to eat, we would force ourselves to keep going. Long story short: we were toasted. We ended up caving around 2 am and our friend drove us to the nearest Burger King.
We went through the drive-thru and it was totally dead; not a soul or car in the area. We ordered a ton of food, and when we pulled up to the cashier window, the cashier was this older, 50-year-old dude who seemed to be the only one in the entire restaurant. I can’t believe what he said next. He looks right at us and asks with total sincerity: “You kids got the good stuff?”
My friend and I both busted out laughing, vehemently denying it, naturally. But the man persisted and asked three more times. Eventually, we caved and said yeah. He then proposed a trade—as much free food as we wanted for some of our “good stuff.” We obviously agreed. We met him around back near the dumpsters and made the trade.
When he still bothered us for more after we had already given him some, we sprinted back to the car and peeled out. We looked back and the dude was chasing us down the road on foot. Wild.
11. Dozing Off
I had a man and woman come through and order. They got to the window and he fell asleep within the 60 seconds that he was sitting there. The lady woke him up and he paid. Then, before we could hand his food out to him, we noticed his truck started to roll. I got to the window in time to see the truck scraping the side of the building. He then woke up, got onto the highway, and floored it—but the story didn’t end there.
He came back 30 minutes later and ordered something completely different. He didn’t know that he had been to our KFC already. The manager called the authorities and we kept him in the drive-thru until they got there.
12. Spoke Too Soon
I worked at a Starbucks throughout high school. One time, a couple came through in a big pickup truck. I asked them how their day was, and the female responded with: “I was just released from the hospital.” I replied, “Good to hear you are all better!” She then proceeded to tell me that she was in a car accident and was paralyzed from the waist down.
My jaw hit the floor and I was speechless. I handed them their drinks, wished them off, and watched as the wheelchair sped off in the back of the truck. I’ll never forget that encounter. That made me feel like a piece of garbage.
13. Gotta Catch ‘Em All
I worked at McDonald’s for almost two years. The strangest incident would have to be the kid who attempted to pay me in Pokémon cards by explaining how much each was worth on eBay. When I explained to him that his cards could not be used as currency, he became upset and accused me of being a “dirty Yu-Gi-Oh fan.” He eventually drove off, leaving me confused with both his cards and his food.
14. Spare Pickles
A couple of years ago, I worked at a drive-thru and this guy came around to pay. When he got there, he said, “Did I say I wanted extra pickles on that? Because I want extra pickles on that.” I informed him that his burger was already made and ready to go, but I offered to have a new one fixed up with a satisfactory amount of pickles. The man paused, then had a look of realization.
He looked up and said, “Don’t worry about it! Now that I think about it, I think I might have some extra ones right here.” The guy then proceeded to open up his glove compartment and pull out a giant jar of sliced pickles. It was weird.
15. Free Therapy
I was once working at the drive-thru and this lady came up to the speaker, I greeted her and told her to order whenever she was ready. She said that she wasn’t going to order anything and that she just needed someone to talk to. The customer is always right, so I talked with her about how my day was going. Then, she hit me with a huge curveball. She told me she had an incurable, infectious disease.
I was dumbstruck. The lady probably just got diagnosed and the only person she could talk to about it was me, the drive-thru guy. I talked to her for a few more minutes, and then she said that she had better go. I never saw her face or even her car.
16. The Human Tables
When I was working the drive-thru at Popeyes, we would always get this one couple that made us brace ourselves. Sure, we had plenty of regulars, but every employee knew of the Human Tables. It would always be the four of them: the dad, the mom, the sister, and the brother, and they always rolled up to the window with AT least three big bags of food from other fast food places. Not bags of trash, but bags of uneaten food.
We would call them the Human Tables because they all had their seats all the way back and would use their stomachs as tables. The smell was pretty horrid as well. Didn’t seem like they were doing too good a job of disposing of their trash from three meals a day of fast food.
17. You Got Coned
I worked at McDonald’s for two years and the strangest thing that happened was when a bunch of teenage boys came through the drive-thru in a minivan and ordered an ice cream cone. When they pulled up to my window (it was night, so we were down to one window), a guy who was laying on the top of the minivan grabbed the cone by the ice cream and they drove off.
They proceeded to come back through the drive-thru to ask if one of them had left a wallet inside.
18. Cinnamon Fiend
My first real job in high school was at a very loosely-managed Taco Bell where one of the supervisors had been fired recently. While I was working the overnight shift, he came through the drive-thru, pointed a pistol at me, and robbed me of all of my Cinnamon Twists. He took the whole pan of Cinnamon Twists right through his car window. We later cooked a new batch and didn’t even call the authorities. The night shift is weird.
19. Monkey Business
I saw a customer with a pet monkey. A pet monkey in the drive-thru of a North Texas McDonald’s. That’s not even the weird part, either. When I asked the woman if it was real, her reply was startling. “It’s a robot,” she said. She then drove up to the next window while my mind was all kinds of messed up.
20. Banana Gone Wild
I was a manager at Little Caesar’s in high school and I had to work on Halloween, which turns out to be one of our busiest days. After a long day, we were getting ready to start closing, so my coworker and I went out for a short break beforehand. That’s when an officer’s car pulled up. I thought the officer was going to order something, but then he got out and came over to us.
He asked us if we had seen a banana running around the shopping center. Confused, my co-worker and I said no, and he proceeded to tell us that some guy was running around dressed as a banana and flashing people. He told us if we saw him that we should rough ’em up a little bit before calling it in because apparently, he was targeting kids.
21. It’s The Little Things
Some old guy asked me while I was handing him his coffee if I had stuck my finger in it. I was like, “…No sir, it’s hot coffee. I’d get burned,” thinking he thought I was messing with his coffee. He just replied by saying, “What a shame, I was hoping it would be sweet like you.”
22. The Prophet
I worked at McDonald’s for a year in high school. One Sunday, at about noon, this woman came through the drive-thru, ordered her food, and pulled up to the window to pay. She fumbled around with her change for about a minute, and as she finally handed me the money, she started talking about how she was “poor in money but rich in the Lord, Jesus Christ.”
She asked me if I went to church often and I said yes (I lied because I didn’t want to trigger her). As I went to hand her the receipt, she grabbed my hand, looked into my eyes, and said: “Jesus loves you, and he’s coming to see you soon. He’ll be here any day now.” She then drove off to the next window while I just stood there, dumbfounded.
23. Well, That’s Awkward
I work at McDonald’s and was manning the drive-thru one night. An older couple came by and ordered a Happy Meal; I assumed it was for a kid. They pulled up to the window and I told them their total. The man in the passenger seat then asked me what toys we had, and I responded with, “Uh, Pokémon toys.” He said he wanted Spider-Man toys and I explained that we discontinued them. His reaction was seriously disturbing.
He then went on to say, “What if I show you my wife’s rack for a Spider-Man toy?” Shocked, I just said, “That doesn’t help your case in getting a toy since we have none.” It was really freaking weird. There was no kid in the backseat…
24. There’s A Time And Place…
One night when I was working, a man came through in his bathrobe. I didn’t really think too much about it. When I was getting the man his sauces, I kept hearing moans coming from the car. Apparently, the man was on the phone with an adult hotline and he had the call hooked up through his car, so it was really loud. I handed him his food while a woman was talking dirty to him.
The scariest part was he seemed so relaxed. He acted like it was a very normal thing to do.
25. Mission Failed
My friend was trying to impress a girl. He planned to go through my drive-thru to score some free food. I wasn’t working the window but I knew he was coming up since I heard him on the speaker. I walked up to hand the drive-thru worker the food for the car in front of him when, all of a sudden, the customer got rear-ended by my buddy.
So much for impressing his girl.
26. Caught Slipping
My first job was at a Taco Bell in high school. I worked at the drive-thru and I didn’t care how the tacos came out. One guy rolled up and took 10 to 15 minutes to order, giving me a nice break. He finally decided on some insane number of tacos and bean burritos. He pulled up and I found out why—this guy was definitely under the influence of something.
He handed me a wad of cash that turned out to be way more than enough, so I only took what was needed and handed him back his change. That’s when I made a gruesome realization. I noticed that his you-know-what was hanging out of his pants. As I handed him his change, I told him: “Chicken’s out of the barn, check yourself before you wreck yourself, bro.” Then, he replied, “I didn’t order chicken…”.
Realizing it didn’t process, I told him flat out: “Your little guy is hanging out of your pants, tuck it back in, bub.” He let out a slow laugh, then looked down and said, “Oops!” He scrambled to tuck his third leg back into his britches and I handed him his four sacks of diarrhea-waiting-to-happen. That’s about it really.
27. Not-So-Smooth Sailing
I was working at a McDonald’s drive-thru one day. I was at the end window, helping to take orders. This guy tried to use the drive-thru whilst he was towing a rather large boat. He made his order at the speaker and got about another three meters in before all I heard was horrible, horrible screeching and scraping sounds. He had taken about half of the paint off one side of the boat on the brick wall.
I laughed. A lot.
28. Donkey Kong Vibes
I used to wear a full gorilla suit and mask, go through drive-thrus, and ask for banana milkshakes. No restaurant ever had them, so I’d proceed with my Plan B and ask for slices of banana on a hamburger. They wouldn’t have that either. Eventually, I’d ask, “Well, do you have ANYTHING with bananas?” They’d apologize and say no, but sometimes they’d have apples or something.
So I’d begrudgingly order whatever was closest to fruit on the menu. You could tell the person on the other end was confused until I pulled up to the window. Got a lot of laughs.
29. Performance Art
I overheard my brother and his friend Joey plotting some huge prank once. They were giggling like little girls. They made their way to In-N-Out (the drive-thru lines are always super long) and came back about an hour later to tell me the story. My brother Seth had Joey wait in the trunk of his car while their other friend Nick was in the passenger seat. A little before they ordered, Seth called Joey’s cell phone to tell him that the trunk is open.
So Joey made it look like he pushed the trunk open. He jumped out, looked around with a bewildered expression, and ran away. But here’s the thing—he was only wearing boxers. Nick screamed through the open window, “DUDE HE’S GETTING AWAY!” Seth then pulled a U-turn out of the drive-thru right before they’re supposed to order and picked Joey up about a block away.
I wish I could have been there because apparently, the expressions on the bystanders’ faces were priceless.
30. Fast-Food Romance
My dad asked my mother out in a McDonald’s drive-thru. She had dated his best friend for a year or two (so they knew each other) and she was finally single. She overheard him telling his friend in the car that he was going to ask her out. When they pulled up at the window, she looked at him and said: “I get off work at 9.” He was waiting in the parking lot for her when she got off work.
They’ve been married for 27 years!
31. Instant Job Offer
I was working at Taco Bell late one night and I was fairly new to the job. A car rolled up and these three girls and one guy in the car started talking to me real casual-like. I’m a really quiet, introverted kind of person, but I tried to be friendly and make conversation with them. Somehow they got on the topic of risque films and asked me if I wanted to star in one.
I just told them I had a girlfriend and quickly shut the window. I was still a teenager and they were maybe around 30. It freaked me out at the time. I think I made someone else give them their food.
32. The Pony People
While working at DQ, a minivan came by. I got their money and when I turned to give them their drinks, I swore I saw a pony. I told myself I was crazy, but when I handed them their food, two ponies had pushed their heads forward to stare at me. Turns out, the couple had taken their ponies to the vet. They said it was easier that way than by trailer. For a split second, I thought I had lost my mind.
33. It’s Air Bud!
I was working the window at my Starbucks and this clueless blonde with a lap dog pulled up. While she was ignoring me while yapping on her cell, her demon dog made a flying leap of faith right through my window. I caught the little rascal before it hit the tile floor. Then, I immediately pushed it back through the window and dropped it in her lap. She didn’t even seem to notice.
34. Impatient Lovers
I worked at McDonald’s when I was younger. It was late one night and a young couple came through the drive-thru to order some food. Their food wasn’t ready, so we pulled them into a parking spot while their chicken cooked. They were parked for only five to ten minutes, but I finally walked out to their car to bring them their food, the back window rolled down—and I saw something I’ll never forget.
The girl was straddling him in the back seat. Without shame, they didn’t stop and the guy just said, “What do you expect, we got bored of waiting.” I didn’t know what to say, so I just gave them their food and walked back in. They were there for a few more minutes and then pulled away!
35. A Gift For You
I was working at McDonald’s and this lady came to pick up her milkshake. She said to me: “You’re doing a great job, keep it up!” Then she proceeded to hand me a small, fluffy toy snake. I closed the window and started laughing so hard.
36. When Kindness Backfires
On the Fourth of July, my then-girlfriend and I were at the drive-thru at McDonald’s, and the guy working the window expressed his disappointment that he wasn’t able to see the city fireworks. We felt bad for him, so we gave him a few boxes of sparklers we had so he could light them up after work. The guy was ecstatic, and his nearby coworkers were happy as well. They all planned to burn the sparklers with him.
Suddenly, the manager came over, pushed through the workers, and in a forced voice of politeness, he asked us what was going on. When we told him we felt bad for his workers and that we gave them some fireworks, he said, “Uh-huh” in a tone suggesting we were full of it. He then proceeded to yell at his crew like they were a bunch of little kids who had gotten into a stranger’s van for a promise of candy later.
I don’t know how long we sat there, but the entire time, the manager tore them all a new one. It wasn’t like he said anything coherent; he just kept swearing with nothing to be picked out as to why this had set him off. We finally drove off after a minute or two, and both of us were quite convinced our attempt to be nice was getting them all fired. We never saw any of that crew again when we went back, so maybe they were let go.
37. An Easy Swap
This was years ago, but after a night out, a buddy and I decided to grab some late-night food from Jack in the Box. He ordered for all of us and, for some reason, right at the end, he told the cashier he didn’t have any cash and that he could trade bottles for tacos. I thought the drive-thru guy was going to tell us to get lost, but instead, the weirdest thing happened.
He didn’t say anything for about thirty seconds, then he piped up and said, “Make it three bottles for six tacos…” We pulled up, handed the man his three bottles, got our nasty tacos, and drove off.
38. From Zero To 100
Oh boy, do I have a doozy. One time, about 15 minutes before close, we had a guy drive up and ask for 30 Mama Burgers. I cringed at the amount of extra work that was just given, but whatever—we were still open, so we had to do it. I asked him if he wanted cheese on the burgers and his response was “I don’t freaking care.”
My supervisor, the only other dude up at the front with me, decided that now would be a good time to run and help the back-staff with making burgers, leaving me all alone to deal with what was surely about to be a very angry individual. But what actually happened is not what I expected at all. I took the guy’s money and tried to hide around the milkshake machine out of sight.
When I peeked over to check on him, I was shocked—he started BEATING THE HECK out of his own car. I’m not kidding. He was throwing punches to his windshield as hard as he could. Then, I heard him start throwing stuff out of his window and onto the ground. Obviously, I wasn’t close enough to see what it was he was throwing out, but after he got his food and drove off, we looked outside to see that it was car parts that he had smashed.
There were parts of the handle on his shifter, the vents, a volume knob, and various other bits and pieces all over the road. I get so confused just thinking about it. The dude had to have been on something. That is the only way I can reconcile car-smashing and buying 30 hamburgers in one short period of time.
39. Karma Strikes
When I was in high school, I worked at Chick-Fil-A. A week or so before Thanksgiving, I was working with one of my closest friends, Cassie. This guy came through and ordered a small chocolate shake with no whipped cream, no cherry. Cassie was working the window that night, so the guy pulled up and she did the whole, “Hey there, you had a chocolate shake, no toppings? Your total is $2.98.”
The guy confirmed and gave her his credit card. She swiped it, grabbed a straw, his receipt, and the shake, then went over to hand him all of these things. When she leaned out of the window, she noticed he had his “member” out of his pants. He was also creepily smiling at her. Fortunately, Cassie reacted pretty quickly and got the plate number. Our manager on duty called the authorities.
But it doesn’t end there! The next week, officers found the guy and confirmed his identity with Cassie. So, of course, they were going to go to his house and charge him. Hilariously enough, they chose to do it on Thanksgiving. They got to his house and he had a wife and kids, and apparently, it came as a shock because he “goes to church every week.”
Even BETTER—Cassie was a few months shy of 18 at the time, so he ended up getting charged with exposing himself to a minor (or something along those lines). Enjoy the registry, perv!
40. Redneck To The Rescue
An old redneck, probably tipsy, pulled up in a pick-up truck at 1 am and ordered about four steak items at Taco Bell. We had the worst manager working that night, so of course, we were out of steak, and he didn’t tell me this until I’d already cashed the old redneck out. He was kind of mad, but I offered him a refund with the manager’s approval.
The manager came over and started screaming at me, saying stuff like “Are you stupid? You can’t give him back his money” and the redneck completely hulked out. He launched himself through the window, screaming: “Don’t talk to young girls that way! You are a jerk who makes young girls cry to feel better about your tiny pee-pee.” I was trying to shut the window on him but I couldn’t.
The manager actually took a couple of punches and got fired later on in the week because he took like $500 from the company.
41. That’s Not Nice
One time, I was working at the drive-thru at McDonald’s. At the time, we were selling the Mighty Wings, which were only sold for a limited time with a special habanero sauce. A man drove up and asked for the wings, but we sold out, so I told him to try the nuggets instead. He got the nuggets and wanted the habanero sauce, which was also out of stock.
Naturally, he got mad, then said, “Fine, I’ll just get a barbecue then.” As he pulled up to the pay window, he looked at me straight in the eyes and said, “You are a failure.” I know that it wasn’t my fault that we ran out of stuff, but it still hurt pretty bad.
42. Asserting Dominance
I started working at a coffee house and I had some guy come through the drive-thru and order a small iced coffee. No big deal; I got the drink and his total. The guy paid for it and everything. But when I handed the drink out to him and told him to have a good day, he proceeded to throw the coffee at me. This all happened in slow motion and I managed to catch it without it spilling everywhere.
The guy sat there with the dumbest look on his face I’ve ever seen. He sped off but I managed to get his plate number.
43. Anything For Chicken Strips
When I was working my first job at Dairy Queen, I had the “pleasure” of encountering a special sort of stupid. I was in this lovely part of the country that is nicknamed “Tornado Alley” for a reason that completely escapes me, but it may have something to do with these funny-shaped, spinning clouds that like to tip over trailer parks.
Anyway, we had a huge storm pop up on an otherwise lovely day during which there hadn’t been a cloud in the sky. Frankly, it caught the local forecasters by surprise too—they were calling for a sunny weekend. So I was at work and the wind picked up so fiercely that we had people come into our store just to get off the road. The wind was blowing hard enough that it was pushing cars around.
The weather radio chimed in that a funnel cloud was spotted at the intersection of two highways in the town, maybe two miles from our store, and that’s when we heard the sirens start sounding. We all took shelter in the cemented-into-the-foundation walk-in cooler. While inside, we continued to hear the sirens blaring, and the wind was blowing so hard that the building was shaking. That’s when it happened.
Suddenly, those of us with headsets heard a ding sound: “Yeah, I’d like to order one of your chicken strip baskets and a large strawberry dipped cone… Hello? Hello??” What followed was a somewhat surreal argument that I, wearing a headset, got to witness as my manager tried to urge the guy to come inside and take shelter.
The guy then argued back with her, asking why nobody would take his order…Sure buddy, screw the forming tornado, you need your chicken ASAP. We got lucky and the funnel never touched down, but there was some pretty bad wind damage all along that part of town by the time the storm was done, not to mention a lot of hail damage.
Still, the thing about that storm I will remember most is the idiot who decided to risk life and limb for some chicken and ice cream…
44. Smooth, Dude, Smooth
My father, oh my father. Once, in his youth, he was at a drive-thru with a friend of his. Upon receiving his meal, it seemed that the female worker who’d handed it to him had walked out of earshot. At that moment, my father turned to his friend and loudly proclaimed, “She looks like she’d be good in bed.” He turned his head back only to see she was standing right there. She heard. She’s my mom now.
45. Tough Crowd
I wasn’t working at the drive-thru, but I was ordering at a KFC and had two friends with me. I asked my one friend what he wanted to drink and he said he wanted a Dr. “Pecker.” Me thinking it would be funny, I said Dr. Pecker to the woman taking my order. Immediately after the words left my mouth, a rather angry male voice came over the speaker and said, “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell Dr. PECKER here.”
A bit in shock at this point, I asked for the proper beverage and finished with the order. I’m fairly certain my potatoes had spit in them.
46. Mystery Man
I worked in McDonald’s before I went to university. There was this one man who came through the drive-thru—he was in his late 30s and was clearly a farmer from the look of his vehicle and his dog in the back. He was always pretty quiet, but I remember a couple of times that he tried to make nice small talk. When I worked on New Year’s, he asked me how things were and said I should be out having fun my age.
I remember thinking he always seemed really lonely or sad when he drove through since he’d always try to carry a conversation with me. I felt bad having to be quick with him because he just seemed like he wanted someone to talk to. Long story short, he drove through one day and asked if my last name was what he thought it was. After a sideways glance from my manager, I said it was.
He looked really sad and took his hat off. Then he said something that shocked me to my core. He told me that he was my dad. My biological mother didn’t know who my dad was, so it was possible. My manager let me go on break to speak with him. He then explained that he slept with my mother around the time that she got pregnant, and he was only 16. He was really apologetic and also seemed ashamed of what he did.
He told me he was sorry he didn’t seek me out. He was from a town about an hour’s drive away, so that was a part of it. And no one ever showed up to tell him he was a dad or anything. I told him I was happy with my life, but I still gave him my number and told him to give me a ring sometime. So yeah, that’s how I met my dad. My biological dad, I should say.
After a few years when I heard from my biological mother again, she agreed that he was who she thought the father was. We went out for coffee three or four times, but we didn’t have much to talk about. He and I never really maintained contact—the last time we spoke, he told me he’d been diagnosed with MS. He had a couple of sons, but I was his only daughter and he said that he was grateful we had met.
47. Aced It
When I was working at a McDonald’s in high school, there was a fad where people would go through, order a drink, and then throw it back into the window. Well, one time, someone tried it but forgot to take the lid off. When he threw it at me, I finally got revenge for the months of persecution. I reflexively volleyball-spiked back towards his car. The cup hit the window, opened up, and spilled all over this guy’s car.
And by that, I mean all over his lap, his seat, and his dashboard. He looked down, then back at me, and said: “Dang…you got me good.” Then he drove off.
48. Just Another Night
I was working at a Taco John’s in high school. It was Halloween night. The beeper went off to let me know that there was a car out there. I pressed the button and said, “Welcome to Taco John’s, can I take your order please?” I heard some muffled swearing and panicked sounds. Then nothing. I couldn’t see the menu board from where I was, so I walked to the back of the store, opened the back door…and what do I see?
A car on top of the menu board. The guy was frantically trying to rip his license plates off, and a woman was yelling at him. The guy then took off, leaving his girlfriend there—but that’s not the funniest part. We call the authorities. The officers saw the car and the girlfriend, then said, “Oh yeah, Deano. We know where to pick him up. Sorry about the menu board. I guess your drive-thru is closed for the night.”
49. His Last Words
When I was 16, I worked at a McDonald’s drive-thru. On a Sunday evening, I had a customer begin his order by asking for a double cheeseburger with no pickles. Then, he just stopped talking. After asking, “Sir? Did you need a moment with your order?” I just figured the dude had realized he’d forgotten his wallet or something.
I had one of the guys working the grill go outside and pretend to check on the display sign to see what was going on. I’ll never forget what happened next. The grill guy ran back in, obviously shaken and talking really fast. “Oh my God, I think the guy’s dead!! I can’t tell!! He’s all slumped over. His window was down, but he didn’t move when I asked if he was okay. He’s dead!!”
We let the shift manager (who was only a 23-year-old guy) know what was going on, and he called 9-1-1. The ambulance showed up a few minutes later (by that time, our drive-thru line was wrapped around the building because people wanted to gawk). They did CPR on the dude for a minute or so, but nothing seemed to change.
Then, they loaded him into the ambulance and one of the ambulance drivers moved the guy’s car out of the drive-thru lane. Our manager called to check on him later that evening and we found out that he’d had a massive heart attack and probably died almost instantly. I was the last person to hear the dude’s voice. His last words were spent ordering a double cheeseburger with no pickles. Pretty scary!
50. Little Man Vs. Burger
I was a manager at BK for a few years. It was a terrible job but it definitely had its moments. One of the strangest was when a guy pulled up to the drive-thru and wanted to know if he could have “extra patties” on his Whopper. I told him, “Yes, certainly you may have more patties. How many?” He retorted, “Eight please, with cheese, bacon, and lots of ketchup.”
I remember it cost around $28 and I had to tape two burger wraps together to wrap it up. It was heavy and greasy. So he pulled up and he was maybe 140 lbs.; a skinny dude. He looked at the burger, then asked me while smiling: “Wanna watch me eat?” That was the hardest “No” I’ve ever said because I was not about to throw up seeing the little fella devour this huge Whopper.
Afterward, I pondered his reasoning behind such a request. Fresh out of prison?