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These Wedding Red Flags Had Us Shouting “I Object!”

Chameleon

Despite meticulous planning by often-obsessive brides, weddings can be unpredictable. If something goes wrong, or something seems off, the responses of the bride and groom can predict the future of the couple. From Mother Nature making herself known at auspicious times, to creative script changes, to bizarre disappearances, these Redditors share the most glaring nuptial nightmares they have ever witnessed.


Wedding Red Flags

1. In Sickness and In Health

My dad was feeling sick on the day of his wedding to my step-mom, but he sucked it up and went through with everything. The second he took the veil off of my step-mom, he threw up all over her! Happily, she forgave him for having the worst possible timing. They’ve been married for years now and they’re perfect for each other. We make sure that he never hears the end of it though.

Swampshanker

2. Hakuna Matata

The groom had his car stolen on the morning of the wedding and spent the whole day swearing and punching inanimate objects because, as we all heard a thousand times that day, not only was the car “the most important thing in his life,” it also wasn’t insured. The wedding was at a Boy Scout hall, for no apparent reason…maybe irony…but the reception was in the cafeteria at one of those “Underwater World” places. There was a glass tunnel that you could walk through to see fish swimming all around you, but no one was allowed to go see the fish because, get this: the whole day had a Lion King theme. Except for, you know, the venue.

Then, towards the end of the night, the bride got into a physical fight with one of the bridesmaids because she caught her sleeping with a groomsman. The bride then tearfully admonished the groomsman caught with his pants down for cheating on her (the bride). I have no idea how long the marriage lasted for, as I never saw or heard from them again.

hokeyWB

3. Mistaken Identity

I got invited to the wedding by a friend and went because I was told that there was going to be a really good band and a high-level buffet at the reception. We showed up a bit early and things were still being set up. Someone needed some stuff from the grocery store, so I volunteered to go. A woman said she would go with me to show me where the grocery store was and to help get stuff, so I agreed. On the ride to the grocery store, she started talking about the wedding and how going to weddings was always kind of sad for her. I asked if she had a bad divorce or something, and she straight up told me that she found weddings arousing, but never had any luck finding a man at one.

Ok, red lights and warning buzzers should have been going off. I knew they should have. They were at some level, probably, but I totally ignored them—huge mistake. When we got to the store, she asked me to pull around to the side and park behind a bunch of empty semi-trailers. I did, and she crawled across the seat of my truck and started kissing me. Things progressed and stuff happened. It took maybe five minutes total. It was the definition of a quickie.

Afterward, we shopped and got the stuff that was needed and headed back to the Church. When we got there and the stuff was taken to the kitchen, I found my friend. She asked why it had taken so long and I dodged the question. I’m not a good liar, so she got suspicious and I dodged that. Then she got mad and demanded that I tell her what happened. So I did. And she freaked. She told me that the woman that I had gone to the store with was…the bride! She was not amused. I was not amused! The groom, when he walked up to me about five minutes later, was not AT ALL amused.

He just punched me. I went down, and he walked away. Apparently a few people knew what had happened, as I was getting the stink eye from a number of people as I picked myself up off the floor. I asked my friend if we should leave and she agreed. I heard later that there was a three-hour delay and a lot of serious negotiating after I left, but that the wedding ultimately proceeded. The marriage lasted eight months, which was a good six months longer than anyone I talked to about it had given it.

Northsidebill1

4. For Richer or…Richest?

I once attended a really awkward wedding. The bride, who we all thought was a bit of a gold digger to begin with, laughed uncontrollably during the rehearsal when she was supposed to say the “for richer or poorer” part. She promised to get it together during the ceremony the next day. She didn’t get it together. She burst out laughing again in the middle of the real ceremony, and she never did actually say it.

HoopOnPoop

5. Breaking News

I attended my niece’s wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony, and they seemed to be genuinely in love. Then, shortly after the ceremony, the groom dropped a bombshell; he announced to everyone, including his bride, that he had enlisted in the Navy and was due to report in a few weeks. She was beyond surprised. They didn’t even make it a year.

ALinLOSANGELES

6. Last Call

The bride got so drunk at the wedding that the bar stopped serving drinks before midnight in an effort to cut her off. The groom was also drunk. People started leaving at midnight, and the bride got mad and yelled about how they were all “ruining” her wedding because she wanted to dance and drink more, but they all wanted to leave.

I was their designated driver to get them to their hotel. The entire drive there, they fought. She berated him; he cried. That was a long 20-minute drive. I could have scrubbed vomit out with cleaners, but the awkwardness has stained that car forever.

trabbaro

7. Turning The Other Cheek

When the priest equivalent at a wedding I attended said, “You may kiss the bride,” the groom leaned in for a kiss—and the bride turned her head! What should have been the most romantic kiss of their lives turned into a peck on the cheek. Even as a child, that set off alarm bells for me. They have been divorced now for a long time.

MyHandleisHandle

8. Foreshadowing

The cake cutting at my wedding with my ex was pretty telling. The whole point is that you each feed the other a bite of cake at the same time, right? Apparently he didn’t get the memo. He held his mouth open for the cake, while just holding the bit meant for me in his hand. I stopped and said, “Where’s mine?” Then he remembered and we did it the right way.

Fast forward 10 years later and he doesn’t want to get a job using the degree I supported him through because he feels I should just support the whole family. And that’s why he’s an ex.

Socks2BU

Wedding Red Flags factsWallpaper flare

9. Priorities

The wedding was semi-destination, about a six-hour drive away, but all of the bride and grooms’ friends drove out there anyway. The reception was a bonfire with free booze and yard games and dancing. However, the new husband disappeared two hours into the six-hour reception…because he was bored. He just went into the house and hung out on his phone watching golf videos and refused to come back out. He ditched his family and friends along with his bride. They lasted less than two months.

ohheycole

Wedding Red Flags facts

10. Look To The Future

I was a bridesmaid in an awkward wedding. During the limo ride to her first wedding, the bride was planning her next wedding. Everyone was completely silent before her maid of honor managed to say, “Let’s just get through this one.” The couple lasted three years.

AundaRag

11. Mantic Matron

My brother’s wedding was extremely uncomfortable and awkward. My parents kept asking him if he was sure, because clearly they had misgivings, but he was adamant. The ceremony was super small. When it came time to kiss, they both went in for a peck, but the bride turned her face at the last minute so that he kissed her cheek.

My husband yelled for them to do it again because I was also their wedding photographer and he knew I didn’t get a good shot, but they refused. The best part was that my mom had had an engraved frame made—and had accidentally put the wrong date on it! All around it was doomed. The marriage only got weirder and worse from there. They acted like they were on an awkward first date every day. Finally, a year later, they divorced.

persephonenyc

12. Paperwork Woes

My sister-in-law got married last fall and after the ceremony, the new couple got into an epic fight…over the marriage certificate. They didn’t even show up to their own reception until two hours after it started. I found out afterward that the groom and groomsmen did some pretty heavy drugs before the ceremony and continued to sneak off for more during the reception. The groom apparently had a bad trip; he freaked out, had a panic attack, and left without his bride.

mobius153

13. Belated Bride

My sister-in-law is just a horrible, thoughtless person—but this took the cake. Her wedding to my brother was supposed to start at 3:00 pm. At 2:59, she was getting in a bathtub in her hotel room to “unwind” before starting to get ready. All of us bridesmaids were already ready. We had been ready for hours. I had to call my mom at 3 and tell her that we were at least an hour out, because my brother was already there obviously, and I didn’t want him to think he was getting left at the altar.

Oh, and did I mention it was October? It was actually Halloween, around 40 degrees Fahrenheit, and windy. This is important because it was an outdoor wedding in a park with no indoor venue attached, so the guests literally had to wait in their seats in the freezing cold. They ended up waiting more than an hour and a half. The divorce papers have now been filed and should be final within a few months.

sarahsuebob

14. Timing is Everything

A wedding guest looking out of the window beamed at the groom waiting at the altar and said, “She’s here!” The groom jokingly pretended to run away. Harmless ploy to get a laugh, right? Nope. It went down like a lead balloon because he had actually run away from his life the previous year. He literally just went out to the shops one day and didn’t come back for eight weeks…while the bride was pregnant with their first child.

The bride’s mother gave him a look at that should have wilted the wedding flowers, and the previously happy chatter in the room turned to frosty silence—just in time for the entrance of the bride.

AppleRhubarbCrumble

15. Thrift, Thrift, Horatio!

At one wedding I attended, the bride kept telling anyone who’d listen that she had booked the wedding through Groupon and that it had been super cheap. Apparently, they hadn’t actually even planned to get married until she had seen the deal online. I’m not entirely sure how long it lasted, but seeing as she posted a sarcastic comment about how successful her marriage was on Facebook on her first anniversary, I can guess.

shivvy27

16. The Show Must Go On

The bride and groom were quite young and had dated happily for several months. The bride was in a hurry to settle down and pushed for engagement; the groom was reasonably happy to oblige but not really ready to take the next step, so he wanted a long engagement. Unfortunately for him, the bride began pushing to set a wedding date almost immediately, and the groom grudgingly agreed.

As the wedding date approached, the groom made it known that he loved the bride, but wasn’t ready to settle down yet. The bride wasn’t having any of it and complained to her own immediate family, who then started harassing the groom’s parents. The groom eventually agreed to go ahead with the wedding if the bride’s family left his parents alone.

When he found out about the situation, the minister refused to perform a wedding in which one party wasn’t on board. However, the bride insisted that the event go ahead and that they pretend it was real. We all immediately noticed something was up when the minister didn’t say the words legally required for marriage, and no paperwork was signed. But that wasn’t the worst part.

Then, the groom’s parents refused to attend the reception, leaving table one half-empty, and declared they would not be paying for the bar service. Some guests took back their gifts and left. The bride and groom avoided each other the entire time except for a super awkward first dance. The whole thing was surreal. They split up a couple of months later.

jbadams

17. It’s My Wedding And I’ll Cry If I Want To

At her bachelorette party, the bride broke down and told us that she knew she shouldn’t marry him and that she knew it wouldn’t work. The wedding was supposed to be the following week. We begged her not to go through with it, but she did it anyway. It only went downhill from there. On the day of the wedding, the groom’s uncle pulled him aside and basically tried to bribe him.

He said, “You don’t have to do this,” while counting out $100 dollar bills. The wedding itself was delayed due to a storm. This caused the bride to get angry and snap at everyone who even tried to talk to her. Eventually, the storm let up and the wedding took place. Then, midway through the reception, the bride angrily stormed out of the reception, which basically broke up the festivities. She started cheating on her husband less than a year in and they divorced shortly thereafter.

Itabliss

18. What Happened to Smashing Cake Into His Face?

One of my wife’s sorority sisters got married recently. We’re not that close and I don’t know the groom, but every time I’ve seen my wife’s friend, she’s been belligerently drunk. At her wedding reception, she went even further and got blackout drunk. Apparently she thought it would be funny to hide under a table at that point…but then she spilled wine on her dress and started crying instead.

Her new husband tried to get her to come back out from under the table and socialize, and her reaction was terrifying: she ended up smashing a glass into his face instead of the more traditional wedding cake, resulting in a trip to the ER. She almost bragged about it when she told the story to us after he’d left, as if she was trying to prove that nobody could tell her what to do. They were going to get a divorce, but ended up getting pregnant instead…

Irrelevant_usernam3

19. Sometimes, Opposites Don’t Attract

The groom was a major jerk; he was very snobby and he looked down on the bride and her family because they didn’t have money. Because the bride’s family didn’t have much money and was paying everything they could for the wedding, it was very small, and we (the bridesmaids) did most of the decorating and setting up.

The bride’s dad was the pastor of the Church, so we were able to get in and work on the reception room a day or two before the wedding. The entire wedding party was supposed to help, including the bride and groom. The groomsmen showed up, but no groom. He wasn’t answering his phone, his parents couldn’t find him, and his groomsmen had no idea where he was. He just dropped off the face of the earth for two days right before the wedding.

The wedding party looked like we were from two different worlds; she wanted turquoise blue as a wedding color, but he wanted gold; she wanted casual and comfortable, he wanted formal. So instead of either making any compromise at all, they each did their own thing with their side of the wedding party. This resulted in the bridesmaids wearing bright turquoise skirts and flip-flops while the groomsmen wore full suits with gold ties. In the photos, we look like two separate weddings that stumbled into each other’s photos by accident.

The opposites didn’t end there. The bride’s family was super conservative and didn’t drink alcohol; in fact, their Church did not allow it on Church property, which is where the reception was held. The groom, on the other hand, was basically still a frat boy—he actually worked for his fraternity for a year after graduation—and couldn’t stand the “no alcohol” rule. To get around it, he got wasted in the parking lot before the ceremony. During the reception, we pretended like we didn’t know that all of the groomsmen had full flasks of whiskey.

We had all spent considerable money being part of this wedding, but we agreed that if she called it off, we would happily eat the cost of everything and just be happy that she didn’t marry him. No dice; she said she couldn’t call off the wedding since everyone knew they were getting married and had already arrived. I’ve never seen a bride’s parents look so miserable as their daughter got married; I couldn’t imagine being her dad performing that ceremony.

They lasted officially almost four years, but she left him about a year before that and moved into her own place. We found his dating profiles online, which were absolutely wild. It was so bad that her super-conservative Christian parents offered to get her a divorce lawyer…and his family took her side in the divorce!

BaylorOso

20. What Happened To Equality?

I went to a wedding for an extended family member a few months ago. I knew it would be a little different, but I was surprised when, during the ceremony, the bride bent down and washed the groom’s feet in a bowl. It took a weirdly long time and it was super awkward to watch, but I figured it was just a cultural or religious thing.

The thing that bothered me was that he did not wash her feet in return. Then, the vows were all about how the woman must always submit to the will of her husband. It’s only been a few months since that wedding, but I don’t know how long it’ll last, as I don’t think the bride would happily be a servant.

cameronbcook

21. Over His Dead Body…Literally

One of the most blatant bad omens I’ve ever witnessed occurred at a wedding I attended. Just as the processional music started and the bride was about to enter, the groom’s great-uncle keeled over in the front pew and expired! After 45 minutes of futile CPR, they decided to continue with the wedding—complete with a priest who included the late great uncle in every prayer (“Lord, bless Jane and Jim…and Stanley….”). It was a bit of a downer, to say the least. The marriage didn’t last long.

WellLatteDa

22. The Groom Got Busy

A family friend’s daughter got pregnant accidentally, so the “happy” couple decided to get married. On the big day, the guests had congregated outside of the venue waiting for the wedding ceremony when all of a sudden, another woman barged in demanding to speak to the groom. When she started talking, our jaws hit the floor: She proclaimed that the groom had also gotten her pregnant!

Wide-eyed, we watched the drama move to behind closed doors while we all waited outside. After a whole lot of commotion, the wedding proceeded. It turned out that the other woman was right though, and the two babies were due within two weeks of each other. We quickly left the reception. Took some cake. It was good. The happy couple didn’t stay married long.

papapowng

23. A Call For Help

My one friend got married in Jamaica, after dating the girl for less than a year. They fought all the time, and the night before the wedding, my friend called me and we had a heart to heart about how he didn’t think they should get married because there was no “spark.” He ended up getting married, and I found out a few months later that I was one of eight people he had called that night. I think he was hoping one of us would talk him out of getting married and make him cancel the wedding. They lasted about a year.

Loafeeeee

24. Pathetic Fallacy

During my second wedding, when the Officiant asked if anyone had “any reason these two should not be wed,” Mother Nature apparently had a reason. A storm was coming, and at that exact moment, a very low-pitched rumble of thunder came from the sky. Everyone just kind of stopped and looked up. I just said, “Maybe try that again?”

Everyone chuckled, he asked again, and no thunder. I should have listened. I found out five months later that she had been cheating on me for a while. We aren’t together anymore.

no1flyhalf

25. Tone Deaf

Sometimes the speeches and toasts of the bride and groom can be a good predictor of wedded bliss…or marital misery. The husband’s toast was about how excited he was to start a family with her, and what a great mom the bride would be. The bride, however, had been admitted to medical school and would be starting in the fall.

She had no intention of having kids until after school was finished, another four years from then, and by no means was she willing to be the stay at home mom. This man clearly had a dream that she would give up all her hard work and goals to be his wife. They got divorced a year later.

engg_girl

26. Bros Before Brides

A relative that I didn’t know well was getting married and even as a teenager, I saw two glaring red flags. Firstly, the wedding was super rushed and even though she didn’t tell anyone, the bride was pretty clearly pregnant. Secondly, the groom didn’t want to spend his wedding night with the bride; he wanted to go out drinking with his friends.

His explanation was that “his boys were in town” and that he rarely saw them. Again, this was his wedding night; he had literally just walked down the aisle 15 minutes previously. They didn’t make two years.

IndianaBones8

27. Sham Wedding

I attended a destination wedding in a beautiful setting in 2019. Over 80 people flew in for the wedding, which was a 6-hour flight for many of us. It was very lavish, but I noticed that the bride and groom didn’t sign any paperwork after the ceremony and thought it was weird. I was informed shortly afterward that the bride hadn’t actually divorced her first husband, so the wedding wasn’t a real wedding. No one, except for a handful of the bride’s closest friends, knew about it.

justgottakeepdugging

28. Online Offer

A bride and groom that I know had their wedding in a beach house and got their guests to pay for it in exchange for staying in a room. Invitations were sent out via the bride’s Facebook statuses. Basically, she just posted a status of “Who wants to come to our wedding? message/text me and Paypal me for your part of the beach house!” every couple of days for a while.

The whole thing just stank of two teenagers playing wedding. We did not attend, as I knew that there would be copious amounts of drugs and really creepy people with guns. I think they actually lasted almost two years before she fled the state with another man. He still posts sad stuff about her on Facebook.

GaimanitePkat

29. A Little Help Here?

My good friend was marrying a guy who we will call Ned. Ned definitely had a drinking problem that everyone swept under the rug. He promised my friend (the bride) that he would keep it under wraps for the wedding; he made it down the aisle sober, but by the reception, he was binge drinking; by then end of the night, he had completely disappeared. No one could find him.

A few nervous laughs turned into mild panic when the lights were turned on in an effort to find him that turned out to be fruitless. My husband decided to go look for him in the parking lot—and made a disturbing discovery. He found him–face down in the dirt. He had apparently done some drugs on top of drinking and had got the spins. My husband tried to talk sense into him by reminding him, “This is your wedding dude!”

He got Ned to come inside and accompanied him on the most cringe-worthy walk of shame I’ve ever seen, past the bride’s family members. The worst part about the whole thing? Ned was supposed to be the designated driver! He was supposed to drive himself and the bride 11 miles from the venue to their hotel in the bride’s grandfather’s vintage Corvette.

Ned was too drunk to drive, so the bride’s grandfather drove them. The bride had to sit on the middle armrest with no seatbelt. Grandpa dropped them at the hotel, and the bride barely got the groom up to the room before he passed out on the bed. The bride had to wander the halls looking for someone to help her out of her wedding dress, since her groom was passed out drunk and she couldn’t reach to do it herself. The word “annulment” was definitely floating around that next morning. As crushed as the bride was, she stuck it out. Three years later though, they are separated and divorcing.

RubyShyne

30. Cake Smash

During the cake cutting, the groom at a wedding I attended smashed cake in the bride’s face. She immediately started crying and disappeared to the bathroom for about 30 minutes. Then they got into a huge fight and barely spoke to each other for the rest of the night. Shockingly, they are still married, but they still fight all the time. She’s my friend from college so we keep in touch occasionally. She never has good things to say about him.

birdhouseinursoul

31. Chivalry Is Dead

At my wedding, I asked my husband to hold my bouquet whilst I gathered up my skirts to get into the car. He refused, with the excuse that he “wasn’t gay.” So, I awkwardly got into the car while holding both my skirt and the bouquet. Ten minutes later, my mum asked him, “Doesn’t she look beautiful?” He looked at me, shrugged, and said I looked “ok.”

Both of those moments may as well have been red flags accompanied by sirens, and I felt my heart sinking with foreboding. It was 30 years ago, and I can still easily recall the feeling. Unfortunately, I was right and I left only 11 months later.

Daisy5915

32. Third Time’s The Charm?

I attended a wedding for two people in their 60s who had both been married before. The groom had lost his wife to cancer about a year and a half previously, and she had encouraged him to get re-married if he found someone he loved. After a while, he decided to get married to a woman who was completely opposite to his first wife; his family was intrigued, but didn’t intervene.

During the wedding ceremony, the bride kept looking into the crowd as if trying to get someone to help her. Then, when the Officiant asked her if she took him as her husband, she hesitated before saying yes. The Officiant then had to remind her to say “I do.” They went on the honeymoon together…and came back separated.

cj_48

33. Prophetic Piece

During the cake cutting, the groom smashed the piece of cake so hard into the bride’s face that her head snapped back. She ran to the bathroom crying with some of her bridesmaids. Her nose was bleeding and her make up was destroyed, so it took ages for her to come back out. I started to yell at the groom, but my boyfriend at the time told me I was being ridiculous and to shut up because the groom was just being funny and the bride was being too sensitive.

Yes, they’re still together. Yes, the groom got more abusive. She sort of vanished off of the face of the earth—I tried to keep in contact so she’d have a way out when she was able to take it, but I haven’t heard from her now in several years. Please pay attention to red flags.

the_jaded_z

34. Don’t Rock The ‘Ship

I went to one wedding…this couple who was doomed from the beginning. They had been together for over a decade before deciding to tie the knot, but had also been stuck in a classic dead bedroom rut for almost the entire duration of that relationship. At the ceremony, the groom wouldn’t dance with the bride and forced one of his friends into dancing with her.

The marriage lasted less than 72 hours. They slept in separate rooms that night, and then spent the rest of that time fighting and discussing why they wound up in that situation.

Soda444

35. The Sky Is Falling

On the day of my sister and her (now ex-) husband’s wedding, we had a MAJOR hailstorm. Yes, of course, weather happens; but they were married in Key West, Florida, during the summer. It NEVER hails. And I’m talking hail so big that the golfers were losing track of their golf balls. If that ain’t a sign, I don’t know what is.

Easy-Home

36. Let the Man Have His Cheesecake

The groom was a co-worker of mine who loved cheesecake. He wasn’t obsessed with it, per se, but he loved it enough that his co-workers knew that he loved cheesecake. His only request for the wedding was to have cheesecake for the wedding cake. Get this: the bride refused! Not letting this guy have this one relatively small thing that would have made him happy just felt super-telling about how selfish this woman was.

A few years later, they were divorced.  He ended up remarrying, to a different coworker. Based on their Facebook posts, they seem very happy together. I don’t know what kind of wedding cake they had though.

swarleyknope

37. Not Everyone Loves Surprises

During his wedding speech, the groom excitedly announced that he’d bought their dream house…in a different state. He also announced that he had put in his notice at work, and they would be moving by the end of the month. The thing is, this was all new information to the bride as well as to all of the wedding guests.

I think he was going for a “grand romantic gesture” and expected to be hailed as “such a great guy,” but the bride was absolutely livid that he’d made major life decisions for them both without even discussing it with her. They didn’t last long after that.

Lil-Maece

38. Willful Ignorance

The first warning sign happened before the wedding when my childhood friend introduced her new fiancé to our friend group. He failed to speak to anyone and had his eyes on his phone the whole night. Then during the wedding ceremony, our friend, who normally wears her heart on her sleeve and cries at the drop of a hat, was oddly unemotional, even through both of their personalized vows. She kept one eye on the camera and seemed to just be posing the whole time.

The couple also had the groom’s family’s Priest officiating the wedding—and I still can’t believe what he said. This Priest recited a long monologue during the ceremony about how the bride’s life’s purpose now was to make her husband happy and support him by staying home and being a dutiful wife. This definitely hit a sour note, as the bride was the bread-winner at that time, and was helping to support both him and his parents. But when I spoke to his parents during the reception, they were gushing praises about what the priest had had to say. The marriage lasted about three months.

this-will-be-gone

39. A Candle In the Wind

I went to my uncle’s second wedding. The ceremony included a special section in which the bride and groom were supposed to light a candle together. However, even though they tried several times, the candle wouldn’t light! Finally, when the Officiant helped, it lit… but then it went out again almost immediately. They got a divorce a year or two later.

Realistic_Nerve

40. Thrift Store Wedding

A friend of mine from high school foolishly decided to marry the childhood friend that got her pregnant via a drunken one-night stand. They’d known each other most of their lives, but hadn’t seriously dated before the pregnancy. She bought a rather ill-fitting “proper” wedding dress from a thrift store for the occasion.

Honestly, it was cocktail-dress length in front and had a train in the back, it didn’t zip all the way, and it was supposed to be off the shoulder but was so tight that she wore it as strapless. The wedding took place on a Wednesday afternoon in the middle of nowhere. I stepped into the room where she was getting ready and she was bawling her eyes out.

I asked her what was wrong, and she said that she knew the groom was a player and that he’d cheated on his previous girlfriend with her. She added that she knew that he was only marrying her because of the baby, and that she didn’t know what else to do. She still went through with it.

LWiddows

41. Script Change

My father is a retired judge. Many years ago, he performed a rather unusual wedding. During the rehearsal dinner, rather than saying “I do,” the groom asked if he could make any positive statement. My dad said yes, but didn’t ask what the groom intended to say instead. Well, the big moment came on the wedding day, and he never expected the groom to say what he did. Instead of “I do,” he yelled, “I like fat chicks!”

My dad looked at the bride in shock, but apparently she just had a vacant expression (my dad’s words) and appeared not to be at all bothered. So, my dad pulled himself together and finished the wedding. We have no way to know if they’re still married, but I’d bet they’re not.

Revwog1974

42. A Colorful Situation

My mom gets her hair died blue every couple of months. When my sister was planning her wedding, I confirmed with her that my mom and I were going to the salon the week before her wedding and that my mom was going to be dying her hair. My sister was fine with it because my little sister, the flower girl, was also going to have blue hair. They would match!

Well, apparently the groom had a hissy fit to end all hissy fits about my mom’s blue hair. All of a sudden, it wasn’t okay for my mom to walk my sister down the aisle; instead, some random man that my sister had only known for a little while got to do it. The groom even called my mom names in the Church right before the rehearsal!

I started to yell at him, but the pastor intervened. Then the groom threatened to leave my sister at the altar because my mom had blue hair and would ruin the wedding pictures. Nobody in my family liked him before that, and he certainly didn’t win any points that day.

amberdaisywalker

43. Two Funerals and a Wedding

My uncle and his wife had a few bad omens both before and during their wedding. Firstly, there was a series of deaths; the bride’s mother passed away, shortly followed by the priest who was supposed to perform the wedding! Secondly, we received our invitations a little more than a week before the event, so everything was pretty rushed, apparently.

Events hit their peak when my cousin nearly got physical with a member of the wife’s family DURING the wedding. An all-out brawl was narrowly avoided. My uncle pinned all the blame on my cousin (his daughter) although both parties were clearly in the wrong. Now, they barely speak to each other. Yes, they still went through with the wedding, and are still together; I just hope they last because if not, my uncle will not have many people to turn to.

DaMainManSundae

44. Sounds Like An Excuse for Incomplete Homework

I attended a wedding recently that included a fairly large red flag. It started out fine; the venue was nice, and the ceremony was beautiful. At the end of the ceremony, however, there seemed to be a problem. Apparently, the bride was refusing to sign the marriage certificate on the grounds that she “had a tummy ache.” They separated three weeks later.

Capri-Cosmic

45. Disney For The Win

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of action and animated movies, most of them having romance at some point. If they taught me anything, it was that that if you loved someone, truly loved them, you would kiss them with your eyes closed. Well, at a wedding I attended with my family, I noticed something odd when the time came for the kiss: the groom didn’t close his eyes!

Fast forward a year, and it turns out that the groom was cheating on her with a lot of other women, so she divorced him. I was not surprised.

Octowolftfm

46. Boozed Up Bride

My sister-in-law is a nurse, and she was at a wedding where the bride was falling down drunk in the bathroom. Not only did this girl puke, but she also soiled herself… I’m talking number two—and that was just the start of the nightmare. Then her sister came in, also drunk, and they fought and somehow slipped in the mess resulting in one of them smashing her head on the sink and getting knocked out. My sister-in-law took care of them and called them an ambulance.

jeezy-chreezy

47. And Another One Gone, And Another One Gone

I went to a wedding with a girl I dated in high school. Her uncle was marrying a woman that had already been married four times. Four. Times. As she walked down the aisle, instead of the traditional “Here Comes the Bride,” they played “Another One Bites the Dust.” I have no idea if the couple is still together, but I very seriously doubt it.

IReallyDontCare2020

48. Mom-Zilla

At my sister’s wedding, the mother of the groom arrived late…wearing a bright red, skin-tight mini dress with stilettos. She then proceeded to try to get in front of the camera so as to block it from taking photos of the bride. During the vows, she coughed loudly and made groaning noises. The pastor apparently decided it would be prudent to not ask if anyone objected to the union.

After the ceremony, as we were getting ready to leave, she tried physically attacking my sister, but there were enough of us to get in her way. They are no longer together.

lilmissmel052

49. One Wedding To Mar Them All

I once photographed a wedding that made me quit photographing weddings. My husband was my second photographer, and even he couldn’t believe the day we had. We showed up early to get a feel for the venue and grab photos of guests and details. Then, I went to check on the bride and my husband checked on the guys. The bride was extremely angry with everyone because apparently her husband-to-be had been smoking earlier and when she had ordered him to stop, he decided to have a drink instead.

The wedding ceremony was very dry. No tears. No sincere words. Then at the reception, the brother of the groom got up to speak. His toast included things like, “I can’t believe we’re here today; no one thought you would make it this far” and, “You know we wish the best for you and we hope you’re happy.” All of the guests were cringing.

Immediately after the speech, the bride said to me, “I don’t want photos of any of his (the groom’s) family. I also don’t want photos of my sister who thinks she’s a model.” That was the last wedding I shot, and it was nearly four years ago. That man was miserable. I could see it in his face and everyone else’s.

mommak8

50. Forget Fainting Goats…

My cousin and his very sweet wife got married two years ago. First off, they got really unlucky with the weather, and what was supposed to be nice cool fall weather ended up being a heatwave with a dust storm. It was steaming outside, 100 degrees with full humidity. The first very obvious problem was that they had been planning for an outdoor wedding in a cool climate. As such, many of the dishes that they were going to have for their buffet dinner were mayonnaise and meat-based, and they’d been sitting outside in the heat after the ceremony without much means of keeping them cold.

To be fair, the Church was beautiful, and the bride looked gorgeous. In the middle of the ceremony though, we noticed the bride start to sway. As everyone started to murmur, she fainted, woke up…and then vomited all over her wedding dress. She looked horrified and humiliated, and then started crying. During the super hot day, she hadn’t had enough to drink or enough to eat, so when everything calmed down, her body had caught up with her.

The priest asked her if she needed to stop, but she waved him onward, determined to finish the wedding. The priest said something really nice about how marriage is not about these random happy moments like a wedding, but about the challenges that you go through as a couple and how you thrive from them. She made it through and then we headed outside to the heat and the possibly rotting and poisonous food.

I managed to avoid most of the mayonnaise-based foods, but my brother and sister did not…they would suffer greatly in the aftermath.

stopinthenameofsign

51. Missed Encounters

At a wedding of a college friend of my husband’s, we learned that the bride (his old friend) had been in love with him for over a decade. We learned this from the women at our table at the reception. We introduced ourselves while we waited for the bride and groom to arrive. They were horrified that we were there—and extremely worried.

My husband had NO idea that she had feelings for him. She bee-lined right for our table after the “introducing Mr & Mrs” thing—ignoring her family and leaving her husband standing alone. She clung to my husband and sobbed—lifting her head to glare at me. She had to be pulled off of him.

She repaired herself, then followed us as we tried to leave quietly—her parting shot was to stare at my chest and say, “Well I guess I know what I was missing all along!” Her new husband was in shock and my husband was horrified and embarrassed—he was completely clueless and would never have gone to the wedding if he’d know she was obsessed with him. It was bizarre.

streamstroller

52. The Family That Lies Together Stays Together

My sister and her husband. They met each other our junior year of high school, and she moved in with him halfway through our senior year. I never liked him and did not hide that fact. I especially didn’t like him after he hit on me while they were dating. Didn’t hide that fact either, but my sister brushed me off. Before he popped the question, she found out he’d been texting other girls.

He promised he’d change. The wedding was a train wreck, honestly. It was a small affair in our family back yard, with our aunt officiating. That same aunt started crying midway through the ceremony. My stepmother read a poem about them she wrote halfway through the ceremony—she always wants to be the center of attention.

The groom’s drunken father, who had been barred from the wedding, came stumbling in at some point during the vows to search for alcohol, and I saw the groom grab one of the bridesmaids’ bottoms. I didn’t point that out to my deliriously happy stepsister. I should have. A year later it turned out the groom had been sexting my stepmom.

My sister somehow forgave both of them. She has low self-esteem. They got caught again a year after that. At that point, my dad had divorced my stepmother, so I have been distant from this whole shebang. But my sister—who I do still talk to—finally divorced that scumbag. Divorce for everyone! Let’s pull an Oprah.

coffee-and-insomnia

Sources: 1, 2


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