Something about being a "customer" just makes some people lose their minds. If you've ever worked in a restaurant, retail, or any other customer service job, you know what I mean. But still, these unhinged customers are a whole new level of crazy...
1. Flying Footlong
A seven-year-old girl came into my store to get the sandwich with a note listing the ingredients she wanted on it. At the cash, I rang in the sandwich, and the little girl passed me one filled-out Sub-Club card, which used to be good for a 6" sandwich with a purchase of a 28 oz drink. I cleared the cash and rang it in again, discounting half the sub.
I told the girl how much she owed me and she just stood there, looking at me. I asked her what was wrong and she said that her mom never gave her any money. I asked if her mom was outside and if she could go get her. This is where the nightmare started. The girl left and came back in crying, getting towed behind a raging mammoth of a woman who was demanding to talk to my manager about how she was being disrespected.
I explained to her the usage of the card and pointed out where the details were printed. She screamed, reached over the counter, grabbed the sandwich, and then threw it at my head. My manager later saw the security footage and called me laughing his butt off about it.
2. Fast Food PTSD
I went through a McDonald's drive-thru once and the place was slammed inside and out. After ordering, I was asked to park next to the curb and someone would bring my order to me as soon as possible. A girl walked up to my car visibly shaken and as she handed me my food, she said something that made my heart sink: "Please don't slap me." I said, "What?" Apparently, the last lady she delivered food to yelled at her and slapped her across the face because it took so long.
3. There’s No Arguing With Stupid
I work tech support for a cable company. This customer calls in wondering why his television wasn't working. It takes me a minute, but I figured out that the customer’s television wasn't working because his electricity was turned off.
He then argued with me for an hour about how it shouldn't matter, that he is paying for a service and we need to guarantee it no matter what. Even if he has no power.
The customer was certain that we were the only company that still required televisions to be connected to utility power and then went on about how it must be because the service is not digital, like our competitors.
4. The Tipping Point
I'm a American-born Chinese girl that works at a Chinese restaurant. My bosses, an immigrant couple, speak enough English, but not very well, and they have trouble understanding English if you speak too quickly. I work customer service for the most part because of this.
This woman comes in to order, and as I take her order, she asks, "Do you speak English?!" I reply, in unaccented English, that I do. She exclaims that she can't understand a word that I'm saying and demands to speak to my manager. I smugly get my boss, informing him of the situation.
He laughs and goes to talk to her in his broken English. She gets really frustrated, and I just stand there laughing to myself. Another customer, having witnessed this, hands me $5 for my poise in having dealt with an imbecile like that.
5. Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold
In high school, I worked at a car wash. While I was wiping rail dust out of a guy's rims he swung the door open and hit me square on the top of the head and dropped me like a stone.
He then proceeded to berate me for being stupid and slow for not getting the soap film off of his rocker panels…the soap film that I couldn't see because I was A: on the other side of the door, and B: trying to regain my senses.
I stood up and handed my towels to the floor manager, said "Call me when you're done with him," and I walked out the back of the garage. Fast forward six years. I am bartending at a local family establishment. I look at the door and I can’t believe my eyes. The same jerk comes in with his wife.
From the first minute, he's complaining about stuff. I'm pleasant, but brief with them. Eventually, they decide they'd like to eat in the bar and ask for menus. I get them their menus and after serving a few more patrons, I walk over with a pad and pen and ask to take their order.
The jerk says, "You're gonna take our order? I thought I'd get one of these hot blonde waitresses". His wife was visibly uncomfortable so I shot back and said, "Your wife called ahead and asked for a young stud bartender". After their meal she slid me five bucks under her plate while he was bitching about the food.
About a month later in the same restaurant, he totally unloaded on a waitress for no reason. I knew it was time for me to finally get my vengeance. I was bartending and I kicked him out. He lost his mind, screaming about how he knew the owner his whole life and how I was done working there.
I pulled out the owner's business card, handed it to him and said, "Bob gets in at 9:00, that's his number". 11:00 the next morning the owner called me and said, "I heard you kicked out Tyson last night". I said "Yes I did," and proceeded to explain the scenario.
He paused for a few seconds and said: "You did the right thing, he's a jerk. When you are on that side of my bar it's your bar, and they're your staff. Keep it up".
6. The Moment Of Truth
While I worked at the Best Buy camera department, a Chinese family consisting of a mom, dad, guy, and a girl came in looking at my display of point and shoot cameras. They had pretty thick Chinese accents so I assume they were either tourists or new immigrants or something.
I did my job asking the usual questions trying to help them, but sure enough their only reply was, "We are just looking". They continued conversing amongst themselves in Cantonese. I myself am 100% Chinese, and speak Cantonese quite well. Plus, being a first generation Canadian, I barely have an accent.
This is a translation of the conversation between the guy and girl.
Chinese Guy: "HMMM what you think of this Camera?"
Chinese Girl: "I dunno anything, why don't you ask the employee?"
Chinese Guy: "That guy? Forget him, he's just gonna lie to us".
Now keep in mind this is all said literally to my face. They were hovering over some cameras only 2 feet from me and starring straight at me when they talked about "the employee". They must've thought I didn't understand them or something. I don't exactly know what the heck was going on with them.
Maybe it's because I didn't have an accent when I spoke to them in English, or they thought I was some other sort of Asian. They kept going too!
Guy: "This one looks cool. I wonder how fast it is. Do you know".
Girl: "I really don’t know. Just ask the employee".
Guy: "I already said forget that jerk. He's just gonna lie anyways".
I just stood there, shocked, thinking to myself, "Holy smokes, they have no idea that I know what they’re saying".
Their conversation almost had a pattern or something and next bit went something like this:
Guy: "How many megapixels is this camera?"
Girl: "I really don't know anything about cameras. Ask the employee".
At this point, I snapped outta my shock and decided I had had enough. The moment of truth arrived and I replied, in perfect Cantonese, "That camera has 5 megapixels. It says so right on the card".
Their faces went blank and they fell silent. The whole family. They must've been really embarrassed because they thanked me only to run away right after.
7. Playing Chicken
My very first job was at a Chick-Fil-A in a mall food court. Working during the Christmas season was the worst and we got a constant stream of some of the most irritable, irate, and unreasonable customers ever. There was one incident in particular that stands out though.
A mother with five out-of-control children comes up and orders a huge amount of food. I wish I could remember the exact order because it was massive.
It's crazy busy with lines of 10 people or more at each of the five registers, all waiting for their food, and this mother, and all five of her children are literally yelling, "Where’s my food??" and "Hellooo??" the entire time they are waiting, with other customers staring at them and wondering what their problem was.
Finally they get their huge order which was two very large bags full of food, which was what was holding everything up to begin with, and go off to one of the tables in the food court to eat. But my nightmare wasn’t over yet.
About 10 minutes later the woman comes back, with all five of her children by her side, holding her receipt and yelling that she didn't get the food that she ordered. We ask her what she feels she is missing from the order and she says, "All of it! All you gave me was 3 bags of waffle fries and a package of chicken nuggets that was already chewed!"
That's right, she said the nuggets were "already chewed". She throws a nugget box on the counter at me with what was definitely chewed up chicken nuggets put back into the container in it.
First off, we obviously did not give her "already chewed" nuggets, and the entire kitchen staff had just madly scrambled to complete everything in her large order, and we handed her two huge bags of food with everything in it. She starts making a gigantic scene, yelling that we ripped her off and demanding the food that we already gave her.
Then she starts threatening to call the authorities. There are gigantic lines of really angry people waiting behind her at this point, as it's crazy busy. While she's threatening to call someone, some random guy comes walking up and taps her on the shoulder to try and get her attention. I’ll never forget what happened next.
She turns and he says, "Miss, you left your bag of food under the table when you left," and hands her a huge bag of food. The very food she is in the middle of accusing us of not giving her. At this same time one of her children yells, "Those chicken nuggets tasted funny, I hate them!" To this she looks at the kid, yells "Shut up,” and goes to hit them.
So, now that her plot has been hilariously foiled, all of us employees are just staring at her awaiting her response to this. Her response was to say, "I don't have to take this," while she grabbed another customers drink that was on the counter and threw it behind the register.
She then tried to storm off, with her five children running everywhere and holding her up—but the story doesn’t end there. As it turns out, one of the folks waiting in line just behind her is a local law enforcement officer who is on lunch…with his girlfriend, who is a social services worker.
The cop, after seeing this, detains the woman, and the social services worker copies down her info and tells her she will be reporting her for hitting her children and exposing them to attempted theft.
8. From Hero To Zero
I was working at a gas station a few years back on the graveyard shift. It was around 1 am when a really heavy guy walked into the store with a brown bag on his head. He came up to the counter and showed me the brick he had in his hand. He said that if I didn't give him the money in the register, he would beat me with it. Now, I am a pretty big dude, so I just smiled at him.
This set him off and he chucked the brick at me, but it flew right past me to the side. He then ran out of the store. I called the authorities and my manager. I told him what happened, and his response floored me. I ended up getting fired for not giving him the money...Apparently, it was policy to just give robbers whatever they ask for. I was a liability because I didn't follow the procedure. What made it worse was that my son was just born and I was the only one working in my family at the time.
9. You've Been Framed
I used to work at an Applebee's. One of my tables was an elderly couple and what I assumed was their granddaughter. They ordered their food (steak, salad, and chicken fingers). In the kitchen, a random server, let's call him Matt, was running people's food because everyone was busy. Well, the table next to mine belonged to a server named Ashley.
Matt accidentally ran Ashley's food to my table. He asked the elderly couple if they were at the table that had ordered a chicken penne pasta, onion rings, and a chocolate dessert, all of which were completely different than what they had ordered. They said yes, then. proceeded to yell at the manager about how their food was wrong and how bad of a server I was.
I hate people.
10. When In Doubt, Smile
I worked in retail for a bit during my senior year of high school and sometime after. I once had a customer rudely ask me if I had gone to high school. She even had the audacity to say that I was probably a dropout towards the end of a transaction. I was so stunned, I didn't know how to react...then I just gave her an exaggerated shrug, a big, dumb smile, and I crossed my eyes as I handed her her bag.
11. Escape Plan
Many years ago I used to pick up TVs for repair from customers' homes. I arrived at this house and an elderly woman answered the door and showed me in. She turned on her very old TV to show me the problem; I could see that it was a blown tube and likely beyond economic repair, and told her so.
She said, "No! You fix it now!" I explained that I couldn't do that, and that her best option was to buy a replacement, either new or used. As I was telling her this, a figure appeared from the doorway behind her, moaning and staggering into the room.
It was an elderly man in gaping pajamas with a long strand of thick drool hanging from his lower lip. The woman said, "Ignore him, my husband has Alzheimer's, fix the TV!"
I began explaining again that I couldn't do that, but while I was doing so the woman started just yelling over and over again, "Fix it!" and the husband kept staggering toward me, moaning louder and louder and getting more agitated, with his strand of drool getting longer and longer and swaying below chin level as he kept advancing.
I said "I'm sorry, but I'll have to go back to the shop now," at which the woman screamed "NO!" and ran to the door that led to hallway, slammed it shut, and stood in front of it with her arms outstretched to block my escape.
The husband kept advancing with his drool getting longer and his moaning rising in pitch to a kind of wailing as I backed up until I was pinned between them both, all the time I kept saying to the woman, "I have to leave," and her screaming "No! Fix it!"
The husband was within a couple of inches of me, and his swinging drool was nearly touching my arm, and I was pressed against the woman, when I turned and as gently as possible pushed her out of the way, pulled the door open and ran out of the room and out the front door to my van.
As I started the engine up and pulled away, the woman was standing outside her front door screaming awful things at me and her husband was staggering about in the front yard; an image forever burned into my brain.
12. Cookie Monster
I worked at a discount brokerage in the late 1990s as a tech and was called down to the front desk by the receptionist. I get there and there's this older couple with the woman berating the girl at our front desk. I ask what seems to be the problem and the uptight older woman starts giving me the business—and the reason why was hilarious.
She said it was because our website tracks cookies using the phrase "How dare you track my finances" and she wants to remove every penny from us and go to our main competitor. A representative from the competitor told them repeatedly that they did not do that.
My wife happened to work for the competitor and I had an account there as well, so at the front desk computer—the older couple could see the screen while I did this—I go into the settings and set the cookie option to ask before passing the cookie. I then sign in to the competitor and lo and behold it asks for a cookie.
This older woman was a class "A" jerk to the receptionist so I looked at the lady and said, "They track cookies too. Looks like he lied to you. Do you still want us to transfer everything?" As I hand them the transfer forms. The old guy rolls his eyes at his wife. Saying nothing, but FUMING, she takes the forms and walks out.
13. The Lunatics Are Running The Asylum
I used to work at Old Navy a few years back. It was a regular retail job and was going pretty well. One day, I am working the changing area and this dude comes in and tries on pants or something and then comes out. He starts doing the ol pat down of his stuff to make sure he’s got everything, and then he just freezes.
He whips around, looks straight at me and goes, "YOU STOLE MY KEYS!" Now this whole time, I was never in possession of his pants or property at any point. So I calmly tell him that I do not have them and they are probably in the changing area.
He checks, doesn't find them, comes back out and starts screaming at me to give him back his keys. Finally, he wants to see the manager. So the manager comes over and tries to comprehend the situation. She was like, I doubt he took your things sir, trying to defuse the situation calmly.
So the dude starts cursing her out and calls the authorities. I was speechless. The officers show up 5-10 minutes later, take down all the information and my manager tells me to go to the backroom and take a break while it gets sorted out.
In the back, I can still hear this dude just freaking out because the keys belonged to a mental institution and that I might "try and sneak the weirdos out!" After another 5 minutes, my manager comes to the back and tells me that the dude did not check his back pocket and that was wear the keys were.
She made him apologize to me and told him to leave. I was so confused at the time…but it’s funny looking back.
14. When Push Comes To Shove
I work in a waterpark. We have a minimum height requirement for many of our slides, and most of the time, the parents get a little annoyed if their child isn't allowed on, but they generally accept it and move on. Just not this one time.
The dad came up with his son wanting to ride our biggest slide, and his son was short by about two inches. He went into a rage when I told him that his son wasn't tall enough, and talked about all the money he spent to get in there, etc. At that point, I blew the signal for the supervisor on my whistle. The dad continued his rant and then started insulting me, saying that I was going nowhere in my life and that I'd be working there my entire life.
For the record, I was a 17-year-old girl, and I was working that job to save up for university. He kept puffing his chest out like a teenager and moving forwards, so eventually, my back was to the slide with only a couple of inches of ground left. Just as my supervisor rounded the last flight of stairs, the man decided it would be good to give me a shove. I lost my balance and fall backward headfirst into the slide. Then everything went black.
I hit the slide with my head so hard that I totally blacked out, and only woke up about ten seconds later when I hit the water at the bottom. I was obviously very disoriented and the guard at the bottom jumped in for me and grabbed me. The staff was concerned about my neck, so I got the fun experience of being put onto the spinal board and having an ambulance come to pick me up. I had a concussion but nothing worse than that, thank God.
The man was apprehended by officers for assault, and he tried to countersue the waterpark. He lost. I didn't get any money, but I did get a nice promotion. I still work there, but not at the slides anymore. Now I'm just a lifeguard.
15. Right Back Atcha
I used to work at a fast-food joint called Culvers. It's pretty much only around in the midwest. On my last day, I started my shift at the drive-thru. The customer was waiting at the window for a quart of ice cream with her order, which I made before she got her food because the food always takes a lot longer to make. I opened the window and tried to hand her the quart which she refused to take. She then started to yell at me.
"What are you doing? What are you, stupid? It's hot out! You can't just hand me my ice cream now, it'll melt by the time I get my food. Did your parents drop you on your head repeatedly when you were born?" Note: it was only around 80 degrees out. Seeing as this was my last day, I proceeded to say "Screw it" and I whipped out my thick southern accent. It was time to teach her a lesson.
"Why yes, I was, ma'am! How did you know? But ya see here ma'am, this here pint of custard comes in these handy dandy refrigerated bags, so they don't melt when it's blistering hot out or when it gets stuck in your rolls of fat, where your love life must have disappeared into". By this time, her food had been prepared and I threw her entire order into the passenger seat.
"Well, would ya look at that, yer grub is already here. Now ma'am, you can screw off and have yourself a wonderful day". She stared at me dumbfounded and drove off. It felt so good.
16. Do You Know Who I Am?
I was working in the clothing section of my campus store in college. An alumna came in with her band of seven children and asked me to find clothes for all of them. Of course, everyone wanted something different and specific. So I started helping, and all of the kids started running around, pulling clothing off hangers and racks, causing a lot of totally unnecessary chaos and destruction.
I asked the mom to keep her kids close to her and to ask them to put stuff back or at least stop touching stuff. Boy oh boy, this woman totally lost it. She started swearing at me, then she stormed out of my section with a huge amount of clothes, threatening to tell my manager about my attitude. She then proceeded to say, "Do you know who I am? I could buy and sell you! Don't make me take my business elsewhere." Shocked, I started to clean up my section.
An hour later, I was finishing up and found a piece of notebook paper folded in half with my name on the outside. She had gotten one of her kids to write "You can die" in crayon and leave it for me to find. And that's the meanest thing a customer has ever done to me.
17. Picky Packer
I worked as a cashier for Wegmans. It was about 10 at night when this lady came through my line. I was express, so I could only ring up seven items, but she had about 10. I took her anyway. She had one of those burlap bags with her, and some frozen goods. Now, being a good cashier, I asked if she wanted the frozen goods in plastic. She said yes.
I made the mistake of putting her ice cream with frozen peas. She FLIPPED OUT! She started calling me nasty names and she reached over to fix the bag. I was so scared I didn't know what to do! I had to call my manager over to finish.
18. Veggie Confusion
I used to work at my parents' Japanese take-out restaurant. Some women ordered hibachi and thought the zucchini was cucumber. She walked up to the counter and started complaining about how she doesn't eat cucumber. I proceeded to tell her four times that it was zucchini, not cucumber, but she persisted. Finally, to end the argument once and for all, she tasted the 'cucumber' and found out it was zucchini...in front of 20 people who were staring at her.
They all gave her nasty looks. Instant karma, witch.
19. Not My Problem
I used to be a cashier at a department store. It seemed that whenever a customer was in a bad mood, he or she felt entitled to dump on the poor girl at the checkout. At one point, our store decided to add some reserved parking spaces for pregnant women, and one crabby male customer was checking out at my register. He snarled, "First you have handicapped parking, and now you add parking for pregnant women? What's next?"
I had the PERFECT response: "Parking for jerks. You can be the first one." I was so happy to leave that job.
20. The Quarter Lady
I worked at a grocery store for my first job. On one of my first few days on the job, a co-worker came over to me and said, "The Quarter Lady is here—make sure you count the quarters when she comes to your line." I didn't have much time to react as apparently she was already in the store for a while. She had a cartload of groceries and was coming to my line.
I proceeded to check her groceries and bag them (we had to do both) and I gave her her total (it was around $60 or $70 if I remember correctly). Then, my eyes got huge, as I couldn't believe what she was doing. She proceeded to lay out all her quarters onto the belt, counting them out quietly to herself. After she counted them out, she said, "Here you go" and then started walking away.
I replied, "I need to count this before you leave and get a receipt". Cue her temper tantrum. She got upset and proceeded to chew me out for not "trusting" her counting. Once again, I told her I needed to count her coins and give her a receipt, otherwise I would keep the groceries. Needless to say, I took my sweet time counting every quarter and putting them into piles.
My co-worker told me she would often come in, get quarters from the desk, rip them open, pay short, then leave without paying the full amount. She would apparently try this with every new employee and then rotate between the rest if she doesn't pull it off.
21. Lost & Found
I work at the front desk of a hotel, so I have tons of stories. But my absolute favorite would have to be a couple who, like most other bad customers, had zero patience. Apparently they assumed checking in was simply a matter of "Here's your key” when the check-in process takes about 5 minutes or so.
They were both extremely rude to everyone at the counter and others waiting to check in kept giving them the "what the heck" look. Well, a few hours after they checked out that Sunday, housekeeping called down requesting a manager to get up there.
It turns out they left a ginormous "toy" in the room. The best part? They called back about it. She would only refer to it as "an item". It was so great messing with her over the phone…"I'm so sorry, could you perhaps name or describe the item for me?"
22. What’s The Beef?
I used to work in a butcher and a guy came in to order some obscure amount—I think it was 6 and 1/8 kg—of beef mince. He demanded that I make up 3 different bags of completely different weights, because he was having friends over and wanted to pay for them to pay for the exact amount of beef they ate.
I was new at the time and had little experience with the complicated and ancient till, so this was incredibly stressful and time consuming. After finally making up the bags, he decided it was wrong and demanded I do it again. The other customers were getting very impatient, and I was beginning to get extremely anxious.
I politely suggested I give him one bag and that he and his friends split the bill evenly later, but he took extreme offense to that idea and told me to go off myself, threw the bags on the floor spilling meat everywhere, and stormed off swearing. This upset a few of the other customers, and they left too. The manager watched the whole thing.
As a result, I wasn't paid for my work that day, and I was demoted back to cleaning.
23. Make Like A Banana And Split
My worst customer was actually one my co-worker was attending to. I used to work at a Coldstone Creamery and this was during a rather busy night. The place was small and the line was long and going out the door so a lot of people get irritated in line.
The lady my friend was helping seemed to be pretty peeved before she placed her order. She complained about the prices—which the 17-year-olds working there had no control over—and was just being really fussy. She eventually asked for a sundae for her and her daughter, which were really expensive, interestingly enough.
To make a sundae, we cut a banana in half and then put both pieces at the bottom of the cup and then all the other stuff goes on top of it. Customers automatically assume there's no banana because of this and this woman was no different. She gives the lady the cups and the lady immediately says, "Excuse me, you forgot the banana!"
My friend told her that it was at the bottom to which lady just huffed at. Her daughter told her to calm down but she just shrugged her off. My co-worker came over to me and said, "Man, I hate when they can't see the banana". The woman must not have heard what she said or something because she just blew up.
Started screaming about us not respecting customers and demanded to see the manager, who wasn't there. She called my co-worker a selfish brat. Her daughter was slowly stepping out of the store during all of this. People in line were calling to the woman to calm down, but she just yelled back, "I deserve RESPECT!"
One of the guys who had worked there for about four years made sure she paid for the sundaes, though. She stormed out after this, but then came back to get napkins from the broken dispenser, which pretty much collapsed when she snatched the napkins from it.
My friend burst into tears ringing someone else up so I pulled her into the back and finished up their order. A lot of people who had witnessed what happened were pretty generous with tips and didn't even ask us to sing, which was the best part.
24. Notary Public Scene
I was a cashier at Barnes and Noble and a customer came it demanding that I notarize some stuff for him. Seeing how cashiers are not public notaries there was little I could do besides calmly repeat the fact that I was A: not qualified to do that and B: That Barnes and Noble has NEVER notarized stuff.
He continued to yell at me and then a manager for about 15 minutes before the manager eventually threatened to call security if he didn't leave.
25. My Evil Twin
I was living in a pretty ritzy part of the Bay Area and I had transferred from my original Starbucks to work at one in town. Around this time, I was still rocking a big mohawk that I put up with glue and hairspray and stuff like that.
I had one old lady who would come in every morning around 5:30 and give me guff for how I looked, suggesting homeless shelters for me to go to to take showers. When I politely reminded her that I not only had a home but took a shower every day, she would suggest that I go off myself and storm out.
One morning she came in, saw me and mean-mugged me before storming out. Later, an officer showed up during the morning rush and bought a coffee. A few minutes after that, he came up to me and told me that he hadn't really come for the coffee and needed to talk to me outside.
When we went outside, he told me that someone had called the authorities on me—and what they said was seriously twisted. They claimed that I had been reported as an escaped convict from up north and wanted me thrown behind bars.
He took down my information but told me that judging from my response, I probably wasn't an escaped convict. He came back later and told me he needed to talk to me again. He confirmed that I wasn't the escaped convict but now I had a new problem.
There was apparently an arrest warrant out for me in the next county over and that I was lucky, because if I was across the street and over the county line, I'd be detained.
I didn't understand what the charges were for, so I called that county's superior court and when I suggested I hadn't heard that I was being charged with anything, they told me that I would have to "turn myself in and face the consequences for my actions," and that I would have to spend the weekend behind bars before being allowed to show up to court on Monday to prove my innocence.
I said forget that and went down to the superior court and got a copy of the warrant. When the kid brought it out to me, I took a look at it and said, "This isn't me". The name on the warrant did have my name in it, but it also had some other names at the end. That’s when I made a hilarious discovery.
It turns out that this dude, who had a similar name to me, also had the same birthday, was the same height and weight, and had the same eye/hair color. He also apparently vandalized his ex-girlfriend's car with a golf club and never bothered to show up to court, hence the warrants.
The issue with the warrant was something to do with the way that the name was written on it that was causing an issue where any officer in the county would have to arrest me, so I went to the town that had issued the warrant and was able to talk to a detective about not getting detained.
All because of some crotchety old customer.
26. A Blowout For A Blowout Sale
A few years ago I was working at a Borders that was closing. We had most of our clearance marked way down, but just about everything else was not discounted because we were just going to box it up and send it to another store.
Most of our regulars were understandable and sad about the store closing, and worried about all of us losing our jobs. Then there were the people who really didn't seem to care that much about it, and then there was one woman who was a little bit unhinged.
She started out by buying quite a few items from the clearance section and then returning a few hours later to try and return them for full price. We explained to her that without a receipt we could only give her back the lowest price in the last 6 months.
She started raising her voice to the cashier that was helping her about how she had "paid $20 for each of these books and how dare we try and rip her off!" when there were stickers on the books that clearly stated the price for each one (max of something like $8 or $9 each). We pointed this out to her.
She started screaming at us about how we were stealing from her. The head manager at this point had made it up to the front of the store and was trying to calm her down and said something to the effect of "Ma'am, if you could please calm down we can work out a solution to this issue".
This woman looked at her, and screamed at a level that told just about everyone there that this was so much more than the regular level of upset customer, this was clearly a level of something was off with her.
She yelled something along the line of "I'm Jewish, how dare you tell me that you'll get a final solution, I'm going to get the authorities here for a hate crime!" as she raged and ended up throwing herself on the ground in a hissy-fit before leaving the store.
27. Tattoo You
I work at a shoe store that has many locations in the area. We get a phone call today from someone who sounds pretty pleasant and normal, requesting our corporate phone number. She wants to complain because she felt discriminated against at another of our nearby locations.
I don't have the number immediately on hand, so while I search for it she starts telling me exactly what she wants to complain about. It seems, upon her arrival in the store, the associate working there was initially very friendly and helpful.
Then, in the customer's own words, "The girl working eventually noticed the confederate flag tattoos I have on my arms. Afterward, she became very cold and was no longer friendly to me. I felt discriminated against". I am flabbergasted at first. I ask if the associate made any comments, or refused to serve her.
"No, but after she saw my tattoos, she was no longer acting friendly towards me. That's discrimination, and it's very unprofessional". I honestly was dumbfounded. I could see her claim of unprofessionalism if the associate had refused to serve her or had said something about it to her face.
But we have no obligation in our job description to act friendly towards people who have the stupidity to tattoo symbols of hate multiple times on their forearms. And for her to have the nerve to actually use the words in her complaint: "I felt discriminated against for expressing who I am, and that's just wrong".
One of the most perplexing and infuriating phone calls I've ever received at this job.
28. Wild Card
When I was a head cashier at a hardware store, a gentleman and his wife came through a checkout, and I was called over to assist with an issue. We had recently implemented an ID check with our rebate system and the person using the rebate had to be there to use it. They had two checks, but apparently the wife didn't have ID on her.
Per the new policy, my manager informed me over my radio that they couldn't use it. The whole process was making him angrier and angrier. It seemed like he wouldn't let his wife speak for herself.
When I asked her again if she had anything at all on her (ie an insurance card or something else with her name on it), he said, "Are you deaf? She doesn't have anything". Then he lunged forward and ripped my ear piece out. It scared the bejeesus out of my small 5'2" tall self.
I think I had to go on break and cry in the cash room for a minute. He ended up leaving without buying anything.
29. Repeat Offender
There is this one guy who gives me problems every time he is in the store.
The first I can remember was last winter when there was a coupon in one of the local newspapers for $4 on a razor that made it free. I was walking down the aisle putting something back and he asks me where the coupon is and that he can't find it in the sales ad. I point to where it says on the sign that it is in one of the newspapers.
He starts shaking the ad at me and shoves it at me telling me to find it. I tell him again that you have to buy a newspaper. He asks me if I'm serious, and I tell him yes. At this point, I'm done arguing and walk away.
Fast forward to sometime this fall. I'm on the first express register which is cash only. He puts his stuff down and asks if he can pay with a credit card. I tell him no and that it's cash only at this register, and at this time the register behind me has no customers.
He turns red and tells me that it's stupid that I have a credit card machine and won't let him use it. I say "Forget it" under my breath and tell him I'll take him this time but don't try coming through here again with a credit card. Then last week, I was working the self-checkouts. I see him walk over to the display of NFL Snuggies.
He calls me over, and I'm already thinking how much I hate this guy. He asks where the Steelers Snuggies are, and I tell him whatever we have is out. I start to walk away because I have a couple customers waiting for help at the self-checkouts. He tells me to open a couple unopened boxes that have more Snuggies in them.
I take a closer look at the sign hanging on the display and it says choose from Snuggies for like 5 other teams, the Steelers weren't one of the teams. I show him this and tell him that I have to go help the other customers. Apparently he didn't like this because he stands there telling me we have to have some Steeler Snuggies somewhere.
At this point, I'm done with this guy so I walk away, but he keeps going ,"What do you mean you don't have any for the Steelers?" I told him that it means we don't sell Steelers Snuggies, and that I have nothing to do with what my store carries. Then I ignored him as he continued to go through the display.
Like I said, I've definitely had customers that have yelled and berated me more than this guy, but he gets to be one of my worst customers due to the fact that it seems like he gives me problems every single time he is in the store.
30. The Unhappiest Place On Earth
A while ago I worked at the Walt Disney World Resort, in the FastPass department at Epcot. FastPass is sort of a ride reservation system that's free for all guests to use. You put your park ticket in a turnstile at the attraction you'd like to ride and it spits out a ticket with a time stamped on it for you to come and ride.
If you come back after your time, we put you in a separate queue and you get on the ride right away, usually in less than five minutes. The FastPass department is also responsible for the accommodation of guests with disabilities, since we're the gatekeepers for the short lines.
I'm standing at the FastPass entrance (to the short queue) at Test Track, the busiest attraction at Epcot, on a moderately busy day. The wait time at my attraction for standby guests (with no FastPass) is 45 minutes.
There’s me, your friendly Epcot Cast Member, a woman in a wheelchair, her husband, and two kids. The woman rolls up to FastPass entrance in a park-rented wheelchair with family in tow, and hands me her "Guest Assistance Pass," a card issued by Guest Relations detailing what special assistance she requires.
Card says: "Please allow this guest and his or her party to use the FastPass entrance for your attraction". I looked and it was expired. She snapped back, “It’s not expired!” I reply: “Well, you see it says right here that this card expired...two and a half months ago? In fact, it's so expired that I'm not allowed to give it back to you".
She whines, “But that's the day they gave it to me”.
I say, “No, ma'am, the date they gave it to you is stamped right here (points), two weeks before it expires. Guest Relations will only issue this card for two weeks at a time”.
I thought that was the end of it—but it was just the start of my nightmare.
She sighs to her husband: “Well, give him the other one then.”
I was so confused.
He goes: “Here you go, how's this?”
The card says: "Please allow this guest and his or her party to use the wheelchair accessible entrance for your attraction".
I smiled and said: “Well, this seems to be in order, ma'am. This is a current card, not expired, made out correctly, that says that I should let you use the wheelchair accessible entrance for this attraction. We just finished a remodel that makes all of our entrances wheelchair accessible, so unless you have a FastPass, the standby entrance is right over there. The wait is about 45 minutes”.
She says: “But I can't wait that long! I'm in a wheelchair!”
I reply: “Well, ma'am, you will be sitting down the whole time".
She blinks, “This in unacceptable! I want to see a manager!”
I say: “Ma'am, my manager is unavailable at the moment, but I would be happy to call a coordinator (grabs radio) to come out and tell you the same thing I have".
She says: “No, you're right, I'm just going to report you to Guest Relations!” and then she went off totally in the wrong direction.
I call out, “Ma'am, you're going the wrong way! Here, I'll tell you what: I'm going to the Tipboard in the middle of the park anyway; why don't you let me lead you to Guest Relations, and then you won't have to wait in line there?”
She was confused but she said sure. So I walk them out in the direction of Guest Relations, gesturing to a co-worker to cover me. I make conversation with her kids.
She says: “Hey, you all stop talking to the mean man".
Finally, we arrive at Guest Relations. I spot a co-worker friend who lives in my apartment building. I say: “Hello, Alison. Could you help these guests for me, please? They seem to have misplaced their Guest Assistance Pass, and have come to complain about me”.
I leave the guests behind and head out to the Tipboard, in clear view of the Guest Relations entrance, and between them and the attraction. Now, when I took the guests over there I knew full well that they would give her exactly what she wanted, because they're not going to ask personal questions about the specific nature of her disability, or lack thereof.
About 30 minutes later, they exit Guest Relations, all smiles. I wave, and being a good sport about the whole thing, gesture for them to come over and talk to me.
I say: “Hello, everything work out for you all right?”
The woman said: “It sure did, that lady in the vest fixed you good. She gave me a card that says I can ride anything I want without having to wait. So we're going to go ride the Test Track right now, without waiting in line; isn't that right, kids?”
The kids yell “Yeah!!" That’s when I let karma do its job.
I bent down and said, “Well, I'm afraid ma'am, by my watch right here, you've been waiting for about 40 minutes to ride this attraction, just like everyone else”.
The woman was completely mortified. Her husband busts a gut laughing; totally cracks up. I probably would’ve gotten in trouble, too, if he didn't think it was so funny. As she made her way to the attraction I called out: “Have a Disney day!”
31. Sink Or Swim
I used to be a lifeguard at a small, semi-private pool, which was used by residents of the surrounding townhouses, but they could bring guests when they wanted to. Anyway, if somebody came in and we hadn't seen them before, we would ask for proof of address to ensure they lived in the condos.
So one day, an older gentleman comes in with his two granddaughters; I had never seen any of these people before. So I went and asked him if he was a resident of the condos; he said no, but his son (who was a resident) would be coming by soon, so I said alright and let it slide.
A few minutes later, the aforementioned man jumped in the pool and sat on the lane rope while he called for his granddaughters to come swim as well. I asked him if he could not sit on the rope as it would stretch it out, and either way it was written on the rule board.
Now, this is a small pool, and it was a quiet day. So for the next few minutes, I didn't have to deal with any rule breakers. I was then informed by one of the regulars that the older man was having a smoke over in the eating area; once again, against the rules and it was written as such on the board. So I went and asked him to smoke outside the fence, at which point he lost it.
He started screaming at me—in front of his granddaughters, classy—said I had a grudge against him, etc. I told him that I wasn't "picking on him". Nobody else had done anything which required my attention. He asked to talk to the manager. I told him he already was. He stormed out of the pool. He came back a few minutes later asking for my resignation. I asked him to leave.
32. First Impression, Worst Impression
I worked at Best Buy over the summer of 2008. I worked in Home Theater, and it was literally my first day on the job. I didn't even have a proper uniform yet; just a name tag. Some agitated looking dude came up and asked me if I knew where the RCA couplers were. I looked around for a minute, having no idea what an RCA coupler was.
I was about to go get my manager, when he finds what he's looking for. What does he do? Yells, "WHAT THE HECK?! WHAT KIND OF TRAINING DID THEY GIVE YOU?" I go get my manager, and he starts yelling at my manager about how terrible of an employee I was. "TRAIN THEM OUT BACK BEFORE YOU PUT THEM ON THE FLOOR." Then he stormed out.
Apparently he was a Best Buy manager from Oregon.
33. Wined & Declined
I'm a bagger at a grocery store. A rich mom comes up to the register with four bottles of wine and sets them down. She sets every bottle standing up on the moving conveyor belt. As most people could guess, when the conveyor moves, a bottle will fall over.
This lady being the blonde she is, sets one on the edge and lo and behold, it falls off the belt—pretty much exploding, with wine going everywhere. Long story short, after cleaning it all up from under the register and candy shelf, she finds one little spot on her $250 Ugg boot.
She went to customer service and demanded the store pay for her boots. My manager pretty much gave her a polite get out and that was that. Sure enough I saw her in the parking lot in her massive Hummer H2 with some 22" rims. People these days...
34. No Takebacks
A lady once threw a teaspoon at me because she wanted me to refill her iced tea. However, she didn't notice I had already filled her glass when I walked past her table. She must have been too busy horking down a veal parmesan the size of a hubcap in front of her.
When I walked up and asked her why she felt the need to throw a hard, metal object at me to get my attention, she said: "I need you to fill my..." (looks down) "...oh. You must ha-- ... huh... nevermind". As I was walking away, I heard her hiss at her husband, "No, I'm not going to apologize to A WAITER!"
35. Not All Heroes Wear Capes
I worked in a vitamin store and a lady came tearing in and stomped to the counter. She cuts the entire line to make a return. It's like she completely ignored the other people. She was angry that one of our sales people sold her a product and she later saw on Dr Oz that it really didn't help much.
I told her to please wait in line and we will get this sorted for you. She was insistent that she be helped now. She said her doctor said it wouldn't help her and so I asked if her doctor was Dr Oz. She got so angry and started to act like a child—but I didn’t have to put her in her place, because someone else did.
The guy behind her was my hero that day. He just calmly said, "Calm down lady and wait your turn". It's customers like that guy that make my day as a retail employee.
36. Patience Is A Virtue
I was waiting on an elderly lady when she fainted and hit her head on the counter on the way down. Everyone went over to help her, talked to her as she regained consciousness, pressed a paper towel to her bleeding head, kept her calm as we waited for the ambulance, etc.
Another lady stepped over her prone body to the counter, and demanded to be rung up, as she was in a hurry.
37. Timing Is Everything
My first job was at a locally-owned video store, and 10 years ago when I worked there, it would get really busy—you know, before Netflix was really a widespread thing yet.
One busy day, there was a lineup of people all the way to the door. A customer gets to the counter, saying the DVDs he bought were unplayable and he wanted to return them and get a refund. I apologize, no problem, ask to have a look; knowing full well that we don’t sell DVDs with scratches on them. I was in for an unpleasant surprise.
The movies were basically destroyed, like he went to town on them with a box cutter and then got his cats to play with them, I don’t know. I tell him I’m sorry but we can’t resell these in the state they’re in. Buddy LOSES it.
He starts raising his voice about what do I know, I wasn’t the one who sold them to him—I was, he just didn’t remember—pointing his finger in my face; keep in mind here I was a small 15-year-old girl and he was a 50-something-year-old man. I keep stuttering out apologies for five minutes until he finally leaves.
Next customer comes to the counter, after seeing the whole scene, and casually goes, “Miss, could you tell me where I might find the movie The Jerk?” Even if it was a coincidence, bless you, friendly customer. You restored my faith in people for brief moment.
38. I Screamed, She Screamed, We All Screamed For Ice Cream
I worked in a store which serves ice-cream. Now, a lady came up to me, and asked to purchase a family-sized tub. This cost like $5 or something and had 9 scoops of ice-cream in it. She paid, and I went over to the ice cream counter. The lady hemmed and hawed looking at the selection of about nine or so flavours.
Then she said, “I don’t like any of these, is it possible that you have anything fruity?” I said that I wasn’t sure, but I shall have a look in the back freezer and see if there was something that perhaps was not put out. So off I went, leaving my workmate to continue serving customers with shopping. It wasn’t too busy so he was fine by himself.
I returned with two flavours, Strawberry and Raspberry Ruffle. I showed the lady and she said that she’d have a little bit of both if that’s okay. I said certainly, and I gave her a small warning. I told her that since this was just out of the freezer, it’ll be rock hard and extremely difficult to get through, and that she would have to wait a little bit whilst I did it.
She said that it was fine and thus began the most strenuous exercise my right arm had ever done. Anyway, eventually a queue started to form and my workmate asked for a hand, I excused myself from the lady stating that there was a qeue and it would give the ice-cream time to soften. She said that was fine, and off I went.
About 5 minutes of putting customers through, this lady STORMS over with a face as red as a beetroot. “I HAVE BEEN WAITING 20 MINUTES FOR MY ICE CREAM!! WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO WAIT SO LONG?!" Myself, and the customer I was serving, was taken aback by this.
I responded that “I apologize, however, as I said previously, I had gotten the ice I cream from the freezer, and it is rock solid, and—“. She cuts me off. Then, she uttered a phrase that, simply put, almost got me fired, slapped by her, or whatever other bad thing could possibly happen at that moment.
She asked me, “WELL WHY IS IT IN THE FREEZER, THEN”?! I looked at her. Then at the other customer, who was a regular that I was friendly with. The customer I was serving screwed up her face, trying not to laugh. I couldn’t hold it. I laughed. I laughed and I laughed. I couldn’t help myself.
She stormed out and that was the last I saw of her. I still giggle when I think about it.
39. When Duty Calls…
I used to work as a Slot Attendant in a casino. The job was basically paying out jackpots to slot players, light maintenance on the machines, and refilling the coins when the machine ran out.
I was helping another customer with a coin jam in a machine, and an old man started screaming at me: "HEY! HEY! SIR GET OVER HERE! GET OVER HERE NOW!!!"
I said excuse me to the customer that I was helping and went over. The old man yelled, "WATCH MY MACHINE!!!" And he ran for the bathroom clutching his behind…apparently he was about to have an accident.
40. Cracking Up
I used to work at a Wendy's when I was in high school, and we had our fair share of crazies, but this guy took the cake. There was this guy who would come through the drive-thru almost every single day, sometimes multiple times a day. He drove this shabby old Cutlass with faded paint and rusted out rims on the tires.
He was this big, 30-something guy, but the thing that made him memorable was his HAIR. He had this sort of bowl-cut/dreadlock hybrid, but his hair was only in dreadlock form because he clearly did not wash it, ever.
Anyway, this guy would come through the drive-thru and order a triple-cheeseburger with extra pickle, and a large chili, NO CRACKERS—this was emphasized. If you know Wendy's food, they don't put crackers in the chili, they are in a separate package and you add them yourself if you want.
Well one day, one of the kids working there decides to play a prank. He thinks it would be funny to just put a ton of cracker packets in this guy’s bag. He rumbles up in his Cutlass, takes the bag, and starts to drive off. A few seconds later, we hear this screech from the parking lot, and it’s THAT GUY.
He apparently noticed the crackers in his bag, and was not pleased. He comes storming into the restaurant, and TRIES TO JUST GO STRAIGHT BEHIND THE COUNTER. Seriously, he just goes right for the door and tries to barge his way into the back of the restaurant.
Luckily, one of the cashiers was a rather large man, so he stopped the man from coming in any further. This is where things got weird. He went out into the dining room, shouting a bunch of nonsense—he never even mentioned the crackers during his rants, which I found very odd—and then he started just flipping chairs over and knocking things off of tables.
He then picked up this salt shaker and POURED THE WHOLE THING IN HIS MOUTH. Then he started yelling and shaking his head back and forth, flinging these disgusting salt-saliva balls everywhere. He also at some point became shirtless.
After about five minutes of this madness, the authorities finally show up, and he ended up getting tased and carried away. They towed away his Cutlass, and we didn't see him after that. That guy was nuts.
41. They’re Going On The Naughty List
Decades ago, I was a manager at Toys R Us. I was probably 25 years old. It was Christmas Eve, so we were closing at 6 pm or thereabouts. This was after running 100 hour weeks since Halloween.
At about 5:30 pm, I get a call to come to the front customer service desk. There, I am "greeted" by three adults, all of whom have obviously been drinking, and who share 8 or 9 teeth between them.
Granny proceeds to explain with much sputtering and spitting that they are upset that the season's three hottest toys are not available and wants me to find them for her: "And we ain't leavin' 'til you do!"
20 minutes later, after raised voices, various threats, and several displays knocked over (and merchandise broken) as these three tried to make their point, I was asked by the officer on duty if I wanted to press charges and have them thrown behind bars. He was really eager!
I opted to give them a Christmas present of my own as I told them, "You have two options: 1 is to leave the store now, and ‘yes’ that means you have to explain to the kids why waiting until the last minute does not result in getting the hottest toys, or 2 you can end up behind bars and explain THAT to the kids".
After a few seconds of blissed silence and shocked recognition, the three elected to leave on their own, of course, cursing me all the way out of the store.
42. Black Coffee For A Black Cloud
This woman came in and we could all tell she was in a bad mood. She parked like an idiot, slammed doors on the way in, no smile on face, etc. She orders a large hot black coffee. Easy enough, make it, give it to her and she takes one sip and asks if I put cream and sugar in her coffee. Well no, I thought you said "black".
She explains that she did say black, but wanted cream and sugar and was talking about a "black" roast of coffee. I calmly explain to her that's she's mistaken and she cusses me out and says I need to be trained better before I work a shift and it's not my fault I got it wrong and the owner should be embarrassed for letting me work.
I am the owner.
43. All For Nothing
I hadn't been working this job long, and after we had closed, there was a family still shopping. I mentioned to them we were closed and the older lady blew up and spent the entire time checking out yelling at me how "We were coming to the register! You're being rude and ignorant!"
Note, this was a dollar store and we counted things by hand rather than scan them. I had to count over 100 items while being yelled at. The cherry on top? Our machine didn't accept the family's card so we had to put everything back.
44. More Than Meets The Eye
I work in a grocery store bakery as a cake decorator and people really freak out over their cakes. I took this one lady’s cake order and she wanted a Transformers cake for her son’s birthday but she didn't like the two options we had. She could either get the cake decorated with the toy on top or the cake with an edible photo of the Transformers on the cake.
She kept showing me photos of other cakes on her phone and I had to keep telling her no because we are working under strict copyright laws and can only decorate what we have been given permission to decorate. So she orders the kit, or so I thought. The husband picks up the cake says it looks fine and takes it.
She calls the store saying she wanted the image, the cake was ugly, and her 6-year-old son was crying. She then rounds off the whole experience with, "I just want to come in there and smash the cake in that girl's face!"
I had never in my 10 years of retail been threatened before—and for that threat, she did not get any sort of refund and even got chewed out for making threats.
45. Steaming Mad
I'm in college and used to wait tables part-time before it became too much for me. I once had a customer who initially seemed really nice, she came in alone and knew her order right away. Apparently her food was too hot and she became insanely angry when I apologized and told her everything comes out fresh from the oven/grill. Her reaction was diabolical.
She grabbed my hand and stuck it into her very hot food and yelled, "DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TOO HOT DEAR" in the angriest, most condescending voice. It was really hot to be fair, but I had literally just brought it out to her. I was shocked and just started stuttering out an apology. My co-worker saw it happen and immediately asked her to leave.
I ended up crying in the back for a while. I don't miss that job. I'm definitely too shy and introverted to stand up for myself when needed. Just treat employees like humans, people!
46. First Day, First Scammers
This was my first day on the job at a buffet—not one of those cheap ones—and my first customers. They were a group of elderly people. They first asked if they could just "look at" what food the buffet had. I said that was fine, and that I was waiting to seat them if they liked what they saw. I was the hostess.
Instead of coming back, they just started piling food on plates and then started seating themselves. I was supposed to seat them in specific sections, so they kind of messed up the seating plan. Then they called me over and one old guy said, "I'm dying soon, I want half off". I had no idea what to say to that...so I said I'd ask the manager.
The manager came out, and told them they don't do that, but in this case, they would make an exception and only charge for a child’s plate. Then the other old people started complaining and saying they were also dying in a couple years and it wasn't fair, and they all wanted to pay less.
Because they were so annoying, the manager relented, because they were already eating the food. They were really loud, messy, and of course, didn't leave any tips. But when I'm that old, I'll probably be that weird too, I guess.
47. A Bald-Faced Lie
Back when I worked at Tim Horton's, a lady came in and demanded that we give her a refund for a cup of coffee she bought. She claimed that she had found a hair in it, but could not produce the hair. "Well obviously I don't have it anymore, but it was definitely the same color as the girl who poured it!"
I assumed she meant it matched the girl's hair color. Unfortunately for everybody, the girl who had been pouring all the coffee for the last two and a half hours was at the tail end of an aggressive course of chemotherapy and had not had any hair at all for over a month.
We pointed this out to the now-mortally embarrassed customer, who left without saying a word.
48. Where’s The Mute Button
I used to work at an audio store and frequently we would have customers come in with their own CDs to test out different speakers and equipment. No big deal. In fact, we encouraged people to come back with their own music if they desired.
So one day, this rather large, older gentleman comes hobbling into the store with a cane and a handful of CDs. As soon as I walked up to him, I had to concentrate very hard on not retching from his terrible body odor.
Because some people have terrible hygiene/body odor and working retail exposes you to many people, this was not unheard of and I was able to remain professional. He offered me his CDs to play and I thumbed through them quickly to see if there was anything I might recognize. No dice.
I put the first disc on and he instructs me to play a particular track. It's a nice bluegrass melody, which normally isn't my cup of tea, but I deal with that frequently as well. While the intro to the song plays, I take a look at the back cover and notice the song names. I was in for the surprise of my life.
The song titles included: "The White Revolution" and "America: Take It Back"—and those are just the ones that I’m comfortable repeating. At this point, I run over to the door of the listening room and slam it shut just as the lyrics began.
I don't remember them word for word, but they were amongst the most vile, prejudiced things I've ever heard in my life. All I wanted to do was get that guy out of my store without causing a scene, but the guy kept wanting to listen to one more track.
I ended up playing 6 or 7 songs for him after which he decided that he didn't particularly like the sound of any of the speakers, collected his CDs, and left. Relieved, I go back to the stack of amplifiers and start resetting them for the next demonstration when I look at the chair the jerk had been sitting in.
The cloth was dark and damp and I didn't need to get any closer to know that that guy had soiled himself all over our beautiful, innocent chair. I stormed out of that room and broke bristles from one of the brooms in the back and my coworkers and I drew straws to see who would have to clean it.
I had some other really awful customers, but this guy was the absolute worst.
49. Breaking The Bank
I worked at a bank in San Francisco for several years as a merchant teller. One day, about fifteen minutes before closing, I noticed a nervous, sweaty-looking guy enter the bank. He stood out because he had a large duffle bag with him that he seemed to be holding/dragging very closely.
As I saw him getting closer and closer to the registers, my pulse started racing. He appeared to get more and more nervous as well. He kept telling other customers to go ahead of him as well. I remember thinking “Everything about this is off, we are about to get robbed and there is nothing I can do about it.”
By the time he reached the end of the line most of the employees were well aware of this man’s presence. We had officially closed the bank and had a door guard (not a real guard just a teller) helping customers out and keeping new ones from coming in.
“Oh no, something is in his bag,” I remember thinking as he sheepishly approached my counter. He said: "I'm really sorry about this, but I can't bring this home". He lifts the duffle bag and places it on the counter and opens it. I couldn’t believe my eyes. There, sitting in the bag, is nearly half a million dollars in beer-soaked bar money.
See, it was the Bay to Breakers weekend—a big race that brings out an even bigger party crowd—and this guy owned a local bar. His bar’s safe was completely full and he was too scared to take the money home as he had been burglarized in the past. It was a Friday and we would not be open until Monday.
The reason I mention this story in this topic is not necessarily the customer himself, but the ordeal that followed. The issue was all the money came from his bar's "street cart" that he had set up for the runners, and as such was soaked with various drinks.
Normally when you go to the bank they have those handy little machines that count your money, well apparently those machines don't care for wet bills. None of the money could be ran through the machines so we had to hand count all of it. We closed the bank and sent everyone but me and two managers home.
We stayed late and counted money for nearly 4 hours…disgusting fermenting money. Then when we were finally certain our count was accurate we discovered we did not have the room in our vault to store the cash—it was like 1/3 in ones—so we had to call another branch manager late at night and get him to open his bank which had one of those huge walk in vaults.
Which, in turn, involved him having to go through a bunch of hoops just to get the permission to do that. Luckily once my drawer was counted down I got to go home. The managers were still dealing with this issue well after midnight.
50. Splish Splash
I worked at a local pizza restaurant for two years and had my fair share of crazy people to deal with. The worst customer I ever had to deal with came in the week before I was leaving for school and was training my replacement.
This guy comes in to the front counter and orders a large pizza. I tell him it’s going to take 20 to 25 minutes as that is our standard time. He pays and sits down to wait for his pizza. Then about 5 minutes later, he comes up. He grumbled and asks how much longer it's going to take as it seems like he has waited ages already.
I checked his order and told him it had only been 5 minutes and to sit back down. Then he came up again about 2 minutes later and asked me why it was taking so long. I said it hadn't been long and that this was the normal amount of time for the pizza to be made. He started yelling at me, but finally sat back down.
A guy walked in who had placed his order via phone and I handed him his pizza as he paid. This made the guy who was waiting furious. He walked up to the counter again, now probably being about 10 minutes since he had placed his order, and screamed at me.
He was asking how that guy got pizza got ahead of his and that orders placed after his had to be later in the pizza line. He kept telling me that I had set this up and made sure his pizza was going to be last. I told him that the customer had placed his order via phone before he had and even tried to explain that next time if he’s in such a hurry, he could do the same.
I tried to tell him that there was not some crazy pizza line conspiracy against him, but it usually takes 25 minutes for a large pizza to be made. He finally sat down again but this time at the seats right next to the counter. I walked to the back and told my manager that this guy was acting strange so he walked back to the counter with me.
Another customer walked in who had also ordered via phone previously to this guy and bought his pizza. The guy sitting in the chairs started "whispering" to this customer but because he was right next to us we could hear him. He started pointing at me and telling the guy in line that I was a jerk and an idiot who hadn't given him his pizza yet.
It had now been around 15 minutes but we told the kitchen to put this guy’s pizza in the oven first so we could just get him the heck out of the store. The guy in line was confused and my manager finally stepped in. He told the guy in a calm manner that his pizza would be out very soon.
The guy stood up and started yelling at me, telling me I was a jerk and all sorts of other rude stuff. This was all inside a family restaurant. Right when this happened, the guy’s pizza came up. I took it from the back and handed it to my manager, who then slammed it into the guys chest and told him to get out of the restaurant right now or else he was calling the authorities.
He walked out—but of course this wasn't the end. I was flustered and my manager told me to take a break outside for a few minutes. I walked into the back alley where our deliver drivers were supposed to park.
I was talking to a few drivers about how crazy this guy was, and suddenly there he appears in his car in the back alley. In this back alley is a huge puddle that is filled with gross disgusting water. He proceeds to drive back forth through the puddle to get all of us covered in the water and then leaves still screaming at me.
51. I Scream For Ice Cream
A rather large woman told me I was stupid and would never amount anything because I didn't make her large ice cream cone big enough, even though I followed our store's guidelines. I reacted by giving her a huge ice cream cone because you know, the customer is always right. I assume if she does that everywhere, she'll die of obesity soon enough.
52. Prevention Is The Best Cure
I was working in a general store while in high school, and we had a decent hardware section that sold cheap tools. One day, just before closing, a guy and his friends come in. They're your standard trashy dudes, so I'm on alert. Because it's closing time the supervisor is around, so she does the covert follow-them-around-the-store thing while I stay where I am.
Eventually, they come up to the counter and one of them puts down some cheap box cutters and nothing else while the others mill around the door. My supervisor's behind them and I decide that this isn't right. So I ask them for ID. I don't know why I thought this was going to stop them.
The guy was mid-20s, I must have been 18 or so. "I'm probably older than you," he says. I wasn't really checking for age, I was just trying to stall them for some reason. I guess I decided that if they were buying these for an attack or something that they wouldn't want to be identified. I might have been right, I suppose, because he refused.
This went back and forth for a bit, him getting angrier and angrier, until finally he slapped down a piece of paper on the counter, telling me that was his ID. When I looked at it, I was horrified. It was a court summons for assault.
It could have got worse from there, but they left after I asked them to, so there's not any awesome story for triumph after that or anything. Still, a group of guys tried to buy a pack of blades at 6pm…and tried to prove they were okay to be sold by proving they were suspected of a wrongdoing and implicitly threatening me.
53. Stop Pulling My Leg
I work in a major theme park in Orlando, so I've got hundreds of hilarious anecdotes. However, my very worst guest experience is one of the very few incidents that wasn't amusing in the slightest.
I work at a high speed, inverted roller coaster. It's one where your feet dangle. Because there is no floor to our coaster, if you have a prosthetic leg, you are required to remove it prior to riding. If you can't remove it, we unfortunately have to take you off of the attraction for your safety, and the safety of the guests in the park.
I was the lead for the day, which means I was in charge of the attraction, and if there were any issues or guest complaints, it would be up to me to take care of them. I got called by my control booth, who asked me to head to loading station to speak with a guest pertaining a loose article issue.
I handle those situations all the time, so it wasn't a big deal. Or so I thought. When I arrived, my team members directed me to a guest who was seated in the front row. She looked like she was in her early 40s, she was fit and pretty and blonde, she didn't have any sort of a bag or loose article on her person, and she looked furious.
That's when one of my team members decided to tell me she had a prosthetic leg. She was wearing long jeans, so it wasn't obvious, but once it was pointed out, it was impossible to miss. I approached the woman, and very quietly explained our prosthetic limb policy. I was trying to be as discreet as possible.
She very loudly and defensively told me that the leg was screwed in place and was impossible to remove, and that she would absolutely be riding today. I don't think I've ever felt as uncomfortable then as I ever had in my life. I had to again explain to her that it was for her safety, unless she would be able to remove the prosthetic limb, she would not be able to safely ride the coaster.
I also told her that, as one of our safety rules, there could be no exceptions. At this point, she was belligerently angry, and was shouting all sorts of arguments at me. I think what was so awful about this guest, for me at least, is that for ONCE I had a guest who was upset for a valid reason.
It's easy to laugh when you just had a parent scream at you because you made their child remove the melting ice cream sandwiches from his shoe, thus making him not meet the height requirement. But a guest with a severe disability who went in to an experience not even realizing that there could be any chance of them being treated differently? A woman who just wanted to ride a friggin’ coaster and couldn't because she had dared to show up with a titanium leg? Let me tell you, I felt about 2 feet tall.
So she's screaming at me, and at this point, we haven't cycled a train in about 5 minutes which in the theme park world is a HUGE amount of time. Since she decided to argue with me at the top of her lungs, the guests waiting in the gates knew exactly why they were being held up.
So they started heckling her, and yelling for her to get off already. And of course she's glaring at me as if it's my fault everyone knows she has a prosthetic leg. She finally gets off the train, and everyone starts cheering which was absolutely horrible.
This woman is so infuriated and (I'm guessing) humiliated that she decided to take the heat off of herself by shouting about what a nasty fat person I was, and how at least she could fit in to some rides. I'm a big girl, but I'm not that big. I am, however, horribly self-conscious.
And this woman basically jabbed at my Achilles heel right in front of all of my employees, which was horrible. But the worst part was, I still felt bad for the woman and I even understood that she was humiliating me as a defense tactic, so I just took it. It was awful. I've never had a guest situation leave such a bad taste in my mouth. It was horrid.
54. The Customer Isn’t Always Right
I worked for Kohl's right out of high school mostly as a customer service associate doing returns and such. Kohl's policy (at least how it was interpreted in my store) was to pretty much take back anything that a customer would like to return...ANYTHING.
There had even been times where we were instructed to return items from competing department stores when a customer had put up a fuss. So by the time this woman came in, I had pretty much given up on denying any returns and just let management deal with it on the back end.
She was in her mid-20s and had a "diva" attitude. She tossed the bag on the counter with the item she wanted to return—not bothering to take it out like most people—and handed me the receipt.
I pulled out the item to see it was a black teddy (as in women's lingerie) and began to inspect it to see if it had the original tags or had been washed. That’s when I made a disturbing discovery. Being a black piece of fabric, the long white crusty stain became apparent very quickly. There wasn't any doubt what it was and the look on her face confirmed it.
All I said was, "Really? Really..." and gave her a shameful look. I then picked up two plastic hangers and used them as tongs to pick up the teddy, walk it over to the trash, and very dramatically releasing it into the trash, all the while giving her a look. I then without saying anything went over and returned the item and gave her back her money.
I hoped my embarrassing scene caused her to think twice before doing it again. Retail has single-handedly destroyed my faith in humanity.
55. Karmic Victory
I was the sales manager in a business to business type operation, we manufactured components that other manufacturers used in their products. Most of my customers were great and even though I left that company 8 years ago, some are still good friends.
I once had the president of one of our medium-sized customers call me up, cursing up a storm because the parts he wanted today were not sitting on the shelf and it would take about two weeks to make them. I told him if he would stop cursing at me that I might be able to help him and, if not I was going to hang up on him.
He kept cursing, I hung up and my boss was entirely supportive even though we never got an order from them again. Another time I was out on a sales call with a customer that had some issue I don't remember, but I knew I was right about it and he was wrong.
When I tried to explain to him what really happened and why, he told me, "If you're calling me a liar, you can leave". I got up and left, didn't even say a word, didn't have to. Never got another order from him either.
Both of the above mentioned customer companies went out of business during the time I built my side of the business from $6M to almost $15M/year in sales.
56. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
A few weeks ago, one of my fellow techs recovered a customer's entire drive which he had formatted SEVERAL times. The tech also reloaded Windows onto his laptop, and then when that was finished, put the recovered data back into a folder with a shortcut to the desktop.
He didn't even charge the customer fully for all the work done, because the guy had some story about family pics being lost and he took pity. It was a young guy in his early 20s. We were closing the store today when the guy walks in. I still can’t believe how awful he was.
Customer: You people said you were going to fix my computer, but there are all these files and stuff in this one folder here; you said it would be like new.
Tech: I reloaded your OS and then put all the stuff I saved in that folder for you. It's a brand new install.
Customer: Well, I want my pictures back.
Tech: They are in this folder, with all the stuff we were able to save.
Customer: Yeah, but there's all this other stuff there too. I just wanted my pictures.
Tech: Oh, well you can feel free to just delete anything you don't need in there.
Customer: Well that's not what I asked for. I'm never coming back here again!
At this point, I step in to make sure what I think I'm hearing is actually happening. "Sir, we saved all your information, and we just want you to be satisfied, what seems to be the problem?"
Customer: I want my pictures back.
Me: Sir, your pictures are right there. We back up everything we find in case you remember important documents or files you need later.
Customer: Well, I don't want any of that stuff, I just want my pictures.
Me: That's perfectly fine, sir. Just delete anything you don't want to keep.
Customer: You guys ripped me off!
And then he left in a huff.
57. Give Me Some Credit
This happened about a year and a half ago. I worked on the night shift as a shift manager at McDonalds. I showed up around 8ish and left at 6 in the morning. I come into work that night to see that our credit machine connected to the front POS machine was broken, so no credit or debit in the lobby.
About an hour in, a couple and their son come into the lobby ready to order. I inform them that we were not able to accept credit or debit. The father seems a little disturbed by this fact and said that was all he had. Now, I was taught to help the customer in any way possible.
My solution was to let one of the employees take the order on paper then ring it up in the drive-through and pay for it with that machine. All goes as planned, they receive their food and go and sit and eat. This is the bad part. About 10 minutes pass and the father come up to me and pulled me aside.
First thing he says to me is that I "was a real piece of work”. As you could probably see, I was floored. I go out of my way to make sure he could get his food. He proceeds to call me out as a liar for saying the front machine could not be broken because the one in the back was working fine.
He even tells me that I made him look like a fool in front of his family for making him look poor. He keeps calling me out and I can't say anything back. I needed this job. All I can say was that I was sorry for the inconvenience. After they leave, everyone working keeps asking me what happened. I truthfully told them that I had no idea.
Now, thinking that that was done, I could get back to work. Nope. About 10 minutes later we receive a phone call. Turns out it's the same guy calling to ream me out again. Yet again, can't do anything but apologize. To this day, I still have no idea what enraged him so much to curse me out not once, but twice.
58. The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
In the IT section I work in, all our customers are internal company staff. This doesn't stop them from being bad customers. On one occasion we were requested to upload a new template. This should have been easy. The owner of the template does all of the updates, gives it to IT, we check it to make sure it will work with the macros and then upload it.
This time, however, the owner of the template was asked to make the changes by the marketing department as they had ordered some new paper and the template needed to be changed to fit it. This started a massive fight between the 2 departments due to neither side listening to the other.
We found out that the owner of the template had demanded that the marketing department take over ownership because "we give up" and therefore the request to IT came from marketing. Our templates are delivered through Word and we were therefore surprised to receive the template in PDF format. Cue a second fight.
We explained that it was impossible to deliver the template in PDF format via Word and if they wanted it in PDF format it would be better delivered via the intranet. No, they wanted it to open in Word but in PDF format so the text couldn't be changed. I began to see what the original owner of the template meant.
Cut to 3 months later when, after upper management involvement (from 3 departments), the new template was delivered in Word format and uploaded. Two weeks later, a Helpdesk ticket was logged—and the reason why was bizarre. Apparently, if you print multiple copies at a time on the new paper, the paper catches fire.
We were then asked to urgently rollback to the old version.
59. A Bad Example
The worst I've ever had was a customer telling me he was going "tear this freaking store apart" if he didn't get his way. I looked him in the eyes, looked down at his grandson standing by his pant leg who couldn't have been older than four, then looked back in his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair and calmed down enough to finish the transaction and get the heck out of my store.
60. Pizza Frizbee
My brother and I were working at Pizza Hut in high school. A lady rolled up to our drive-thru to pick up an order. He passed her the pizza, and when she looked into the box, she apparently wasn't satisfied with her order (I can't remember the specific problem). She passed it back through the window to my brother. While she was doing this, she told him she was going to get him fired.
That did NOT fly with my brother. He launched the pizza box back through her car window and told her to get the heck out of here. She bobbled the box trying to catch it and it careened off into the passenger seat. Now she was shaking like freezing a puppy. She started to yell, but she was not really sure what to say; just babbling really. She slammed the gas and peeled out of the parking lot.
She called later to complain to the manager, who apologized to her. Then he told my brother not to worry about it: "She's a witch anyway".
61. Zero Tolerance
A lady walked in with a phone in hand and slammed it hard on the table in front of me and my manager. We asked her, "How can we help you?" She yelled, "You can fix this dang phone. I have been in here three times and this piece of garbage still doesn't work thanks to you idiots!" He pointed at the door and just said, "Leave." Her face dropped. "What?" "Leave, and never come back." "I pay my phone bill here." "
Not anymore you don't. Leave or I'll call security." We ended up having to call security on her. They came and told her she wasn't welcome in our store anymore. She sat outside of our store for nearly an hour talking to a security guard. She's not been in the store since.
62. Exchange Of Fists
I used to work in the bakery department at Kroger. There was this one guy who was trying to order a steamed plate lunch. He wanted a certain piece of chicken and I kept getting it wrong every time I picked up a piece. He got mad after my second attempt to help him. I even grabbed a pen and paper so he could write down exactly what he wanted, but he declined. He then came behind the counter and hit me in the shoulder.
Let me tell you, he had this special strength. His punch sent me back a few steps, and right before I was about to take a swing back at him, security tackled him.
63. The Wrong Crowd
In high school, I was heavily involved in a local church youth group. We gathered together for bible study every Thursday night. After service, a large group of us would drive to a nearby restaurant. They specialized in making anything that was greasy or grilled and could fit in a plastic basket. Well, one night, our group was larger than normal, so we split into two groups and for some reason, we chose tables on separate ends of the restaurant from each other.
We got our food, good times were had, and we stayed until closing time. The people at my table cleared our trash and left through the front door to the parking lot. I didn't really think about the other group standing around their table—they were in a corner, and in hindsight, they were acting suspiciously. After a few minutes, they joined us in the parking lot and we all started making plans to go to someone's house to watch a movie.
Suddenly, one of the employees burst out of the door extremely upset. The group from the other table ran to their cars and drove away. The employee walked the rest of us back into the restaurant. My jerk friends had filled up several paper condiment cups with ketchup and placed them face down on the table, so when you picked them up, the ketchup went everywhere.
They also littered napkins all about the floor and table, and as a coup de grace, they unscrewed the light bulbs just enough to make the lights go out. We offered to help clean up, but the employee was so angry she just told us to leave and never come back. I returned a week later and apologized again, but the manager was there and said that he had told his entire staff to call the authorities if we ever showed up again.
64. Just Leave Him
I used to work for my parents in a cafe they ran in our extremely tiny town. Since it was so small, everyone knew everyone. This one guy came in with his wife, who a few years earlier had been in a car accident, so she could hardly walk or talk. It was strange because I had known her for a long time previously and she was the nicest lady, but it was hard to even recognize her afterward.
Anyway, everyone in town, including his wife, was aware that this jerk had been cheating on her since the accident, but he still tried to keep up appearances for whatever reason and she couldn't do anything about it because he had control of her assets. So they came into the cafe for dinner one night and I waited on them. I took his order first, as he insisted, then I turned to his wife to take her order.
I asked her if she wanted the special that evening because I knew she had gotten it before and liked it. Before I could finish my sentence, this jerk exploded: "WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER ASKING HER, DO YOU THINK SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS? SHE CAN'T EVEN PUT HER OWN CLOTHES ON, JUST BRING HER A SALAD, SHE WON'T EVEN KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!"
Keep in mind that nothing was wrong with her mentally—she could understand everything anyone said—she just couldn't really respond. So I calmly told him that the week before she wanted the special and we had it again, and I asked her if that's what she wanted. She nodded, and this really ticked him off. He said once again to "just bring her a salad".
When I brought the food out, I did not have a salad, and instead, I served her exactly what she wanted. He was furious. He picked up her very hot plate and threw it at both of us. She started to cry and I began picking up the food that was now all over the floor. At that point, my mom came out and told him to leave and that he was not allowed to come back, so he stormed out the door, leaving his wife behind.
She had to sit there for about an hour while we tried to get another member of her family to come to pick her up. I have never in my life been so angry. The worst part is, after that, he started having his new girlfriend spend the night at his house...with his wife in the other room.
65. A Horde Of Karens
I delivered an EXCHANGE pizza since the first pizza had the wrong toppings. I gave them the correct order and asked for the incorrect one back. The whole family came out to the front yard and started yelling at me about how they deserved to keep the first, incorrect pizza, as compensation. THEN, they brought out two Pitbulls and threatened to send the dogs after me.
I told them to go screw themselves, then I got in my car and called the authorities. I now keep a lead pipe in my car, even though I don't deliver pizzas anymore.
66. Learn To Read
A customer came up complaining about the shoes that were supposed to be on sale for $29.99. I walked over to the fixture and showed him the sign which said the jeans were on sale, not the shoes. I then said, "Sometimes you have to read the whole sign." My coworker had to turn around and walk off so he wouldn't hear her laughing. I am really surprised I didn't get talked to about that.
67. Your Problem, Not Mine
I was on a call with a customer who was complaining and being absolutely ridiculous. I had only been on the job for a few weeks and I was becoming flustered. There was literally nothing I could do to calm this person down or get him to accept my answers. I was finally about to get him off the line when he made a sarcastic comment to the extent of "Wow thanks, you've been such a great help."
In my rush to say "No problem" or "You're welcome," I ended up saying "Your problem" and then hanging up. He called several times after that and I just ignored the calls because I was so exhausted.
68. I Owe You Nothing
I used to work in the H&M call center and this woman's package didn't arrive on the day our website said it would. By the way, this was an order for H&M basic items which came to about $50. She said that because she had to take a day off work, we now owed her lost wages which amounted to $850. I said to her, "So...you took a day off work where you would have earned $850 to wait at home for a package that is worth $50. Do you seriously expect me to believe that?"
Long story short, she hung up when I saw through the obvious lie.
69. I Don't Make The Prices, Lady
A woman got mad at me after I didn’t tell her that one of the items I rang up was full price. I told her, “Well, I can’t read your mind, can I?” She was so mad, like actually livid. But I wasn't about to act like I knew her budget or how much she wanted to spend. The screen was right there, and it showed her all the prices. And I would have been glad to take something off if she didn’t want it.
Anyway, I just quit my job in retail after five years yesterday, so cheers to that.
70. That's NOT Okay
My girlfriend used to work at Dunkin Donuts in Miami and as you can imagine, she had to deal with many jerks. The customer that takes the cake is the guy who was unsatisfied with his coffee. When he got his coffee, it wasn't sweet enough, so instead of putting more sugar in it as a normal human being would, he opened it up and threw the boiling hot coffee at my girlfriend's shirt.
The guy then left and drove off. Her burns weren't too bad, but all she got out of it was the day off.
71. A Family Affair
I once worked at a gas station that served pizza. That night, I was the one making the pizza. It was only me and the person upfront working that night, so when it got busy, I was on my own. I got a bunch of calls for like 20 pizzas all within a half-hour. I got to making them, and after a while, people came to pick them up. But since there were so many in such a short time, and only so much oven space, not all of them were done on time.
One lady had her son come and get their pizzas, and when I told them it was going to be another five minutes, she CUSSED me out, saying: "Why are you such an idiot?" I politely told her that the sooner I could get off the phone with her, the sooner I could box her pizza up and get it to her son. Anyway, I boxed it up, went out to find him, and he was gone. So I set it up in the oven to keep it warm.
About 15 minutes later, I got another call from the same lady, yelling at me again! When I found out why, I wanted to SCREAM. Because her daughter, who I had never even seen, had been waiting to get the pizza. She was walking around the store and didn't tell me or anyone else she was there for pizza.
72. Piercing Comments
When I was still at my old job, I was a cashier. I remember one shift when it was rush hour and VERY busy. I was ringing a man through and he didn't pay much attention to me until I told him the total that he owed. He glanced over and immediately made a horrified face. I had a fair amount of piercings on my face, but nothing over the top. He just screamed at me: "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOUR FACE?'
And he just kept going and going and going. I just stood there, staring at him. He finally paid and left. I was about ready to cry.
73. The Dollar Dilemma
I used to be a shift manager at McDonald's. I was standing at the front counter and I watched a girl walk into the restaurant with a large cup, fill it with tea, and head towards the door, without buying anything. I called out to her and told her that it would be $1.07 for the tea she just got. First, she acted like she was just leaving, until the other manager working at the time got on the phone and called the authorities (it was just a dollar, but it was still stealing).
The girl walked out to a car, came back inside, and held her hand upside down over the counter. As soon as I got my hand under hers to take the money, she flung the $1.07 (in dimes and pennies) at my face. I almost threw my job away to get my revenge, but a crew member I was pretty close with was standing behind me saying, "She's not worth it; she's not worth your job". So I really couldn't do much but wish her a good day.
74. Changeroom Trauma
My friend was working in the changing rooms in Target. This cranky old lady came in to try on some outfits and my friend informed her that the maximum amount of items she could try on at a time was six. The woman flew into a rage, threw all of her clothes at my friend, and screamed, "WHAT THE HECK DID YOU SAY?" My friend was shocked and just repeated herself.
The woman said coolly, "That's what I thought you said, you dirty witch." Then she continued trying on clothes. My friend did not report her. The woman had already left the store before she could really act on it.
75. Serving Up Stupid
I used to be a barista at a coffee shop. I was working the register when a middle-aged man came through. He asked for a cup of decaf coffee, which we didn't have because company policy was to stop brewing anything but our light roast after a certain time in the afternoon (kind of ridiculous, but I just follow directions like the good little employee). He went ballistic on me, angrily asking if we were "in a kitchen," and if "I was serving up stupid".
I'm a really passive person who likes to avoid confrontation, and I even took his laced words in stride with a smile and apologized for something that really wasn't my fault. I then proceeded to patiently give him all the decaf options. No matter how much of a jerk this guy was, I wasn't ready to stoop to his level. The other barista on duty served him his drink at the bar (the irate customer begrudgingly settled for a decaf Americano) and winked at me when the guy made off with his drink.
I later learned he made him a heavily caffeinated drink with like six shots of definitely not decaf espresso. I actually got upset and told off my coworker it doesn't matter how much of a jerk someone is, it's just childish and petty to try and get revenge. And what if the guy had some condition that made him unable to have caffeine in his system? Not cool. There's no way that guy slept that night.
76. Take A Breath
I was working at a coffee shop in a busy downtown area. There was a businessman that was notorious for being awful with our staff. One morning, he came in and ordered a coffee and a cranberry scone. We happened to be out of cranberry scones that day, and when I informed him of this, he flew off the handle and started swearing at me.
But I was NOT going to let him speak to me like that. I looked him square in the eye and said, “You’re a grown man throwing a temper tantrum over a cranberry scone. Sort your life out”. I then calmly turned to the next customer. The next day, he apologized, and was never a problem again.
77. Just Look!
At a pawn shop, this lady paid me $20, and I gave her change. She flipped out because she knew she'd given me a $100 bill. She screamed, cursed, and called me every name in the book; just lost her mind. The whole time, she was saying she knew she paid with a $100 bill be she'd just put one in her wallet earlier. I asked her repeatedly to just check her wallet to see if the $100 bill was still there or not.
She just kept yelling she didn't need to check because she knew she'd given it to me. Eventually, she checked, and all the anger just blew out of her. She was mortified, the $100 bill was there.
78. Picture Imperfect
I worked at a photo printing lab, and we got people in all the time who claimed we were stupid and had messed up their pictures. One woman had us print 800 vacation pictures. They were bad quality, dark, and out of focus. When she came to pick them up, she insisted that we had ruined them, that they were perfect in her camera, and that she had a very expensive camera so there was no way the pictures could be dark or out of focus.
We finally gave her money back, even though we had done nothing wrong and were out a lot of time and paper. She called us 30 minutes later and told us she was at a store across town, and they had reprinted all of her pictures and they were beautiful, in focus, and nice and bright. I had to tell her that the same person who owned our store also owned the store across town and that not only would it have taken that store several hours to reprint 800 pictures, but their printer was down that day, so they couldn't have printed anything.
She hung up on me.
79. A Toilet Situation
I had a customer come in to do a return on a toilet seat. He went to the customer service person who told him the store policy, which is that the store doesn't do returns on plastic seats. He told her he just took it out to check it and it's not the right shape, but she just repeated store policy. Since there was no manager around to override it, we couldn't return it.
The customer service person braced herself because she knew it was coming—he was about to have a major adult tantrum. He started raising his voice, berating her. She's super shy and quiet, so she kind of just shut down. The other cashier then said very loudly, "It's dirty, he didn't just take it out. He's a liar". That's when he became overwhelmingly angry. I reached over, pushed her lightly aside, and said, "You're on break, go upstairs". She protested but I repeated myself, and she left. The customer asked what she said.
I replied, "Don't worry about it, I'll handle it later. We aren't doing your return". He started to protest again, but I cut him off. "I don't care. I don't care what you did or what you have to say. We aren't doing your return today. You've got two options: either take your toilet seat home and come back tomorrow and talk to a manager or take your seat and get out of here. Either way, you're leaving here with your seat".
He left after that. From that point on, managers were required to be present at all shifts.
80. Free For All
I was a server years ago and this woman who’s usually a nice lady comes in. We had messed up her salmon a few days prior, so the manager had given her a free meal card which is good for one single meal. Well, a few days later she comes in with at least fifteen people about an hour before we closed, and they all ordered seafood and steak anorderednks, and her whole party is awful to me and my friend who is another server.
One guest even threw his plate on the ground, breaking it and throwing food all over because his steak was overcooked. After all this, the other server went to take the woman her check. It was a couple of hundred dollars, and she whipped out the free meal card! The server takes it to the register, comps one of the meals off, and comes back with the new total and the woman loses it.
“I have a free meal card! This was one meal for all of us! It should be free!” And the server just stiffens up and politely explains that that isn’t how it works and stresses that she had to have known that she couldn’t have brought fifteen people in here and expected free meals for everyone. The woman stands up and pours her drinks all over my friend and my friend runs to the back to get the manager. My friend kept her calm, but the manager flipped and told the lady to get out and never come back.
That was a crazy night.
81. Reaching My Limit
When I worked at Subway in high school, there was this guy in his 30s that came in with his wife almost every day. He was awful and talked to you like an idiot. Not because he was in a bad mood either, but because he thought it was funny to be a jerk to kids working fast-food jobs. One day I had enough and took his sandwich I was in the middle of making and spiked it into the garbage can and told him to get out. He told me I couldn't talk to customers that way and I told him "I just did".
He called the owner and dropped my name, and she told him that if I blew up on him like that it was probably deserved, and she asked him to not return. I for sure thought I was fired. Lucky for me, the owner knew exactly what customer she was talking to, knew me well enough to know it take well lot to get me irritated, and knew that I wouldn't do something like that for no reason.
82. Full Of Gas
I was working at a gas station in a very rich part of town. During a nice summer day, a prime example of the douchebag variety of the human species drove his super-expensive Lamborghini in, and in that haughty, I'm-rich-so-you-must-do-what-I-say voice, demanded that it be filled with premium. The attendant started to do so, only the guy immediately snatched the nozzle from him and screamed "You're too stupid to do this on your own".
We're in Oregon, where you can't pump your own gas because of state flaws. Well, being that he's an idiot, gas spills out from the nozzle all over his sparkly jerk mobile. At this point, he truly flips out, and storms into the store, where I'm working as the cashier and de facto manager. He immediately demands to speak to the owner, and that we are going to pay to have his car repainted AND he's not going to be paying for his gas.
I try my best to calm the situation, but he's got a good rage going and doesn't want to be calmed down. While he's spewing forth, I notice that an officer from the local department is about to come into the store to get snacks, a drink, or some such. s gives me a nice idea: "Sir, I'm afraid that the gas is in your tank, and you pumped it yourself, so you are going to have to pay".
He exploded. He asks, exactly, do you think you can do if I just go and get in my car and leave?" Thank you, good Lord, for your timing. He says this, at full bellow, right as the officer walks through the door. My response? "Well, I can't do much ice West Linn Officer standing behind you will probably take you in for second-degree theft".
This second-degree and to see the officer, who has a very evil-looking smile on his face, nodding vigorously. Yeah, he shut up, paid, and we never saw him again.
83. The Slimy Sandwich
I worked at a sandwich place for a year or so. I was making this dude a hot chicken sandwich; I brought the sandwich up to the front and tried to hand it to him. Then, he just looks at me for a second then proceeds to scream and swear at me for spitting in his sandwich. I didn't spit in his food and told him this over and over. The dude was yelling at me for probably five minutes.
I was patient with him and gave him a new sandwich made by a different employee and refunded his order is dude decided that he wanted to be a jerk, so he hung around the store telling customers I was going to spit in their food and swearing a ton. I waited for my manager to step forward and kick the guy out, but he was just pretending nothing was going on.
Finally, as I was making food for this family with young kids, who were uncomfortable, I lost it. I slammed down the knife I was using, startling everyone because I had been so respectful to this guy for so long and screamed "We are a family-friendly establish family-friendly quit being a jerk and get out of this store!"
For whatever reason, that worked, and he left while swearing at me. I apologized to the family for the guy, and my swearing at him. I nearly lost my job from that and got a long lecture from my boss about how the customer is always right and that I need to be respectful. Luckily my manager vouched for me, saying that I was extremely respectful until the guy started making other customers uncomfortable.
84. Where’s The Manager?
I was a manager of a CVS, and during an extremely busy time of the day, I opened the Photo Lab register to help the regular cashiers keep the lines down. I announced that I was open, and the nearest customer happily took her merchandise to my register. Then, the second nearest customer started loudly saying that she was first, and it was her turn. I said she will be the next after I take care of this customer.
When it was her turn, she started going off on me that it was rude of me to not help her...blah blah blah. I ignored her as much as possible. She kept going on and on until I said, "Lady, I opened this register as a favor so the wait time would be shorter. If you would rather wait in one of the regular register lines, you are more than welcome". She was shocked that I talked back to her.
She found one of the employees who was stocking a shelf in the candy aisle and demanded that she speak to a manager. That employee called for a manager over the intercom, and I happily walked over to the candy aisle to see her waiting for a manager. With a big smile on my face, I let her know I was the manager on duty. She walked out of the store without saying a word...
I was off work like an hour later, but apparently, she sent her husband in looking for me, but I was at home by then. They complained to corporate. I was only told to not take my job so personally, and that was it.
85. Extra, Extra, Extra
I used to work in a deli restaurant, and this lady came in and rudely ordered her food. I told her that everything should come out all right, and that I will double check for her to make sure her order would be correct. She insisted on getting LOTS of honey mustard on her sandwich. I typed in extra honey mustard on the ticket. Sure enough, her order came out and there seemed to be plenty of honey mustard there.
But when I deliver it, she complains to me about not having the extra about mustard I promised her and told me to "get a to more honey mustard" for her. I go to the back of the store, get an entire new gallon jug of honey mustard, and plop it on her table. Her friends were laughing, and she was steaming mad. She complained to the manager, who thought it was hilarious and laughed in her face.
86. How Dare You!
I worked at a Walgreen's photo lab, and it was my first job. There was a nice lady that used to come by every now and then to have her pictures developed, and whenever they came out, we would chat about them because I thought they were great. One day while we were talking, another customer arrived. When I asked her how I could help her, she started yelling at me because she didn't like the way her photos came out.
She threw them on the counter and was angry with me and wanted to speak to my manager. I called for my manager, and she came over and tried to calm the angry lady down. The angry lady started pointing at me and said that I messed up her photos, and blah, blah, blah, threats, better business bureau, yak, yak, yak. I didn't know what to tell her other than I'm sorry and that I didn't know what was wrong.
I told her I processed them like I was supposed to and that most of the work was done by the machine, to which she immediately replied, "Then what good are you?" Suddenly, the nice lady with the cool pictures pipes up in this authoritative tone, "How dare you? How dare you say that to him and accuse him of ruining your pictures? He already said he was sorry. Do you realize that what you said is going to cost him his job? shame on you".
The angry lady just got quiet, realized how she was acting and left. I thanked the nice lady, and it made me tear up a bit afterward.
87. Whopping Problem
During high school, I worked at a Burger King. There was one woman who would always come into the drive-thru during the afternoon and ask for a Whopper Jr. with extra onions. And I mean, a LOT of extra onions. And no matter how many we put in, she always came into the store and complained that there weren't enough. This happened in the middle of the afternoon most of the time, so we didn't care.
However, one day, we had four buses full of US Army enlistees at the store at the same time. Convoys of chartered buses would go by periodically, and they usually stopped at our store because the bus drivers knew my boss. Now, these people were always the nicest, most respectful people you can imagine, which was a welcome change after dealing with jerks the whole day.
They also always ordered a ton of food—all king size, tons of double and triple whoppers, the whole nine yards. My boss would always have me give them the "senior discount" (15% off), and they enjoyed that immensely because it said that they were getting a senior discount on their receipts. Anyway, as nice as they were, they strained our store to the limit because they ordered so much food—and things spiraled quick.
So, we were almost literally going hammer and tongs to keep up, and that's when the onion woman came into the drive-thru. My boss told me to just grab two handfuls of onions and put them on the sandwich because she didn't need a scene when we were as far behind as we were. I could barely close the sandwich because of the onions, but I managed it, and we gave it to her.
Now remember, the store was full of US Army enlistees. They probably had not had fast food for weeks. And the line was out the door. So, the woman came in and pushed her way past all of the people to scream over the counter that she didn't have enough onions. My boss was mad, so she took the sandwich, handed it to me, and told me to do whatever the heck I wanted with it.
I dumped the entire tub of onions on this sandwich, wrapped it up tight, and taped it shut. My boss then handed it to the woman, and she opened it right on the counter to "make sure there were enough", even though the burger was like six times bigger than normal. Then, the best thing that could have happened, happened—the thing exploded all over the place. So, freaking awesome. All the enlistees were trying not to laugh. One of their officers was waiting by the counter for his food, and finally, he just gave up and started laughing his face off.
The others took this as a cue, and she had about 250 of these guys all laughing at her. It was one of the best days of my high school life. She didn't come back for a month, and she never ever complained about not having enough onions ever again.
88. I’m The Most Important
I only ever lost it on a customer once when I was working at an office supply store. The customer was one of those self-important money-pusher types. He came in during the lunch rush on a day when we were shorthanded. He wanted to buy a phone. I normally would have helped him, but I was stuck on the register. Even so, I did everything I could to help this guy anyway.
When I was finally able to focus on him exclusively, he launched into a lecture along the lines of how he specifically was the most important person in the store. And I lost it. I barely remember what I said to the guy. I know I tried to walk away first, but he pushed it. I ended up tearing into him so badly that he basically ran from the store, and the assistant manager on duty was too stunned to do anything about the incident.
89. Swapping The Toppings
When I worked at a sandwich shop, I got assigned to train a new girl, who was shadowing me at my register. A big woman comes in with two other gentlemen and orders a croissant sandwich with no tomatoes, or "sub" avocado. I proceeded to explain to her that I couldn't do that, as tomatoes and avocados are not equivalent. Before I even get that far she interrupts me, starts to mock the way I was talking to her, and tells me that they've done it for her before.
I stood my ground and told her regardless of if someone else had done it before, I wasn't going to because that's now how it works. She gets super angry and says some stuff to me, then looks at my trainee and says, "Don't learn from her, Cynthia, she's a bad one". She then struggled to pay with her card because she was broke apparently, and she gave me lip when I said her card was declined.
When she walked away, the two gentlemen she was with came up to me and apologized. I was so checked out, I just said, You're the one who must deal with her every day, not me".
90. An Explosive Day
I had already put my two weeks in at the gas station when a woman comes with a van and tries to pump gas with the vehicle running. I told her over the intercom to shut the engine off. She started to argue with me over the intercom, and I just turned it off to deal with the small lineup inside. She comes inside and starts arguing with me. I calmly told her the rules are for safety, and if she wants to fuel while the engine is on, she can try another gas station.
She starts screaming telling me I'm just being a jerk to ruin her day. I just snapped in front of everybody and yelled back, "Oh really!!? am I in your place of business harassing you for following the rules so people don't explode??!" To which all the other customers laughed. She kept arguing back, so I said fine, go fill your tank. As soon as she was outside, I locked the doors.
I told the customers they could leave if they wished by pushing the black handle, and nobody did until the irate customer sped off.
91. A Stressful Sunday
I didn’t explode, but a customer screamed at me in front of the entire restaurant. She ordered breakfast for her family on a Sunday, and we told her there would be a 45-minute wait for such a huge order to go. She came 10 minutes later, furious we didn’t have it ready yet. She was so angry that this was causing her to miss church. She ended up leaving after calling me a string of names, without the food. Then came the most unexpected turn of events...
She came back later, hugged me, told me she was sorry, and said something along the lines of having a sick child. I don't know. I block bad stuff at work out of my head, but the hypocrisy still cries out in my brain from time to time.
92. The Noise Of The City
I work at a hotel, and at around 10:30-ish, a woman called down very upset because of a noise coming from outside. The hotel is downtown, and it was Saturday night. People were partying. Anyway, she told me to fix it immediately, and I informed her that the noise ordinance for our city as far as private residences go does not kick in until midnight, so I couldn't do anything until then as far as reporting it goes.
I offer to move her to a different room on another side of the hotel, away from the noise source. She refuses, saying it was late. She then demands that I come up with another solution. I tell her there isn't one. I tell her I can call someone, but they won't do anything until at least midnight, probably later. I again tell her that we have other rooms in a quieter area of the hotel, but she begins to shout that she doesn't want to move and just wants me to make them quiet.
This is when I flipped. I didn't yell at her, but I said something along the lines of "Ma'am, I have offered you the only solution I have to this problem, and you have refused it twice. At this point, I can't do anything to help you". She blew up and threatened to call our corporate office, and I told her she was welcome to do that, that I looked forward to speaking with them, and gave her my name. Then, I hung up on her.
93. I Have My Arms Full
I work in an anime store in the mall. One of the things we have is a wall of Funko Pops. This guy brought up like 10 to the register and was just being ridiculously impatient the entire time. Our cash register is a little more than a calculator, so punching in each thing can take some time. Before I even hand him his receipt, he shouted: “Can I get a bag?!?”, so I said we don’t have any.
Watching him waddle out of the store with 10 pops stacked high made me feel better.
94. The Worst Last Day
It was my last day working in a common retail chain. 20 minutes before my shift ended, I was helping a middle-aged woman do a return and exchange with coupons. She was getting agitated, because our coupon policies are very strict, and she was giving me attitude. I looked her straight in the eye and took a deep sigh, “This is my last day, I’m supposed to leave in five minutes” without smiling. She immediately became quiet and was way more cooperative.
95. One Step At A Time
I worked for a one-hour-photo at a CVS-style store. We would take overflow at our register if the lines got too long. A lady comes up with a cart full of stuff and a large fistful of coupons. Whatever, I ring her up and process the coupons. The total is something over 100 dollars, something like $122.35. She gets mad, saying I messed up big time—but she was the one who messed up, because she tried messing with ME.
After a little back and forth, I void the whole transaction and start again. After every item, “This cat food rang at .89 is that okay?” After every coupon, “You can see $1.00 came off Ma’am, is that correct?” This must have taken 15 minutes. At the end, “as you can see the total is $122.35”. She was furious but couldn’t say anything. It was glorious. I am 37 now, have a child, and 1-hour photos don’t exist, but I still think of my triumph.
96. Tell It Like It Is
I stopped to get gas today, and while talking with the cashier, I mentioned that she was probably tired of people yelling at her about the price of gas—but since she is the one standing there, she probably gets it a lot. She said that every day, someone complains to her like she can do something about it. A guy then came in and demanded "Why the heck is gas $3.76 a gallon?”
Without missing a beat, she said, "Because it went down 10 cents this morning". He just looked at her, paid, and left.
97. I Can Help With That
I used to work at a video store, and after a while, I got desensitized to people throwing little hissy fits about late fees. One day, a gentleman tried to rent a movie and I had to let him know he had accumulated some late fees on his account. Cue the standard rant about having returned them on time, blah blah blah, "...and I'm just going to cut up my membership card when I get home!!" I reached under the counter, grabbed a pair of scissors, held them out to him, and said "Well, you can do that here if you like". He gave me a venomous look and left the store in a huff. And it felt so good.
98. Do You Know Who I Am?!
My folks used to own a Tastee Freez in South Carolina and I worked in it most summers as a teenager. Since it was a small town, everyone knew each other and most went to the same church. One Sunday night, one of the ladies from the church called in at about five minutes after ten and tried to order a 20-piece chicken nugget, even calling them McNuggets.
When I informed her that we closed at ten and the grill and fryers were already cleaned and closed for the night, she got irate with me and started yelling in my ear about how she knew the owners of the place and she was going to get me fired and did she know who I was talking to. I calmly replied that yes, Mrs. Greene, I knew exactly who I was talking to, since my parents and I lived right across the street from her, and she had asked us in church that morning what time we closed for the night.
We were never on speaking terms again.
99. On The Edge
When I was a kid, my family owned several pizza places. I didn't hang around them much because I was fairly young, but my older sisters worked at the big one waitressing and cashiering.
She told me that one night, the well-dressed father of a large family that had ordered several large pizzas tried to get out of paying for them because the pizza didn't have sauce/cheese/ingredients all the way to the "edge".
The family had eaten the entire pies except for the crusts. My sister refused to refund his money, he threw a huge fit and reduced my sister to tears. He kept yelling and demanded to see the owner—my dad. Dad came out, saw my sister sobbing, and got the story from one of the cooks. He didn't say a word.
He just slammed the guy's head through the wall and well into the store next door. The guy had to be taken away on a stretcher. The staff and a couple of customers told the authorities that the customer had tried to hit my sister so my dad wouldn’t get taken into custody. Dad didn't get physical often, but when he did, he played for keeps.
100. If The Shoe Doesn’t Fit…
I work in a shoe shop. One of the services we supply is to check how well school shoes fit on our younger customers. Once a staff member has signed to say they are a good fit, the customer is able to bring them back if there are any problems. This one time, a mother came back in with her son a week after being fitted with a pair, loudly mouthing off that the shoes were too tight and causing blisters.
Even though she was being a psycho about it, we offered to get her a new pair. Once back in the kids department, she spotted the girl who fitted the original shoes and went crazy at her, demanding that the girl should be there while a better pair was fitted so she wouldn't make the same mistake again. Despite the mom saying some pretty degrading stuff about her, the girl agreed to sit in on the re-fit in an attempt to help out.
She remembered the customer, even to the point of remembering the child’s name, and was visibly upset about doing a bad job. Returning to the till, the fitter offered to put the exchange through as a final gesture of goodwill. She then froze, realization dawning on her. "These aren't your sons shoes" she said to the customer. They have a name tag inside saying Tommy, and your son’s name is Billy.
Turns out the kid had swapped his shoes with another boy in his class. Laughed that witch out of the shop.