Everyone has heard a tall tale now and then; some are more believable than others. There are those moments, though, when one hears a lie that is so stupid it is amazing someone actually had the nerve to tell it. These Redditors share the dumbest lies they’ve heard, and, believe it or not, they make “the dog ate it” sound highly plausible.
1. Blame It On The Baby
I was just joking with my daughter about how when she was three, she wrote her name and a bunch of designs in Sharpie on the inside of the door to the hutch in our dining room. It was the hutch that belonged to my husband's grandma and had been her sister's before that. She tried to blame her brother for it. I'll never forget how serious she looked.
She said, "Little brother did it. He's in LOTS of trouble, right? Him [sic] go time out for a LONG time". The little brother in question was six months old at the time. She was absolutely shocked back then that I somehow figured out it was, in fact, her artwork.
2. Hitting A Rerun On The Return
I witnessed and called this out in college. We went on a trip on the minibus, and one friend shared a story on the way out that made us all laugh. On the way back, a different friend started telling the same story, word for word, as if it was his. I was just in shock. I said, “You realize X was the one that told us on the way here, right”? He didn’t want to be friends after that.
3. This Myth Was One For The Books
There was a team meeting at work, and the sales bro, who liked to sound sophisticated, was reporting out his forecasting for the quarter. He referenced this sales best practices-type book he’d recently read. Then, he off-handedly said he only reads non-fiction books like this and that he’s, in fact, “actually never read a fiction book ever”. The whole meeting sat speechless for a second.
A couple of us piped up because that was a ridiculous thing to say. Not only does it have to be wildly untrue, but it’s also just a terrible thing to try to brag about. He’d just very clearly stepped in it, and we didn’t like him, so we weren’t about to let it go. The poor guy just kept digging in! Rather than say, “Wait, yeah, no, never mind, I don’t know why I said that”, the dude doubled down.
We were all like, “Wait”, and then rattled off everything from A Tale of Two Cities, The Giving Tree, The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar to If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. The poor guy just wouldn’t admit it and, some might say, heroically carried on. It was a really weird moment.
4. A Little Wet Lie
When my sister was very little, about three or four, she used to idolize my mom. One of the things she would do is wet a paper towel and wipe surfaces to mimic her. Unfortunately, this method of cleaning would leave streaks of water and little bits of paper everywhere, which my mom had to then clean on top of already cleaning the surfaces.
So one day, she sat my sister down and explained that she shouldn't do this, as it was counterproductive. My sister said she understood. One day, Mom noticed my sister doing something suspicious: She was quietly going upstairs in the middle of the day. She thought that was strange so she asked, "Where are you going"? My sister replied, "Oh, I felt tired, so I'm just going to take a nap".
My mom said, "Oh, that's good. OK, sleep well". My sister took a few steps, paused, and said, "I'm not going to wet this paper towel and wipe the mirrors". My mom firmly told her to stop, to my sister's exclamations of, "How did you know”?!
5. Nana’s Nine Lives
My co-worker kept calling out from work for her grandmother’s funeral. She did it six times to six different supervisors. She tried for a seventh time—but she did it at the stupidest possible time: Her grandmother had been shopping that morning! My supervisor had already seen her! I was like, “Girl, that is bad karma. Don’t do that”!
6. The Cake Con
My son was four years old and had cake on his face. He said, "I didn't do it". I replied, "Son, you have cake on your face". Then, he told me, "Some bad man came in by the vent and made me eat it. I didn't want to cuz it was nasty, and I didn't wanna eat it". I paused, and he continued, "It was a turtle too". I asked, "A man or a turtle"?
He said, “Yes. It was a...I DON'T HAVE CAKE ON MY FACE". But karma came for him at the best possible time: He proceeded to try to run but tripped. Then he said, "Oh no. There was cake on the floor, and it got on my face". I had to give him props for creativity and thinking on his feet, but not out loud.
7. He Put His Foot In His Mouth
I saw a student in his third-period class. He didn't go to his fourth period. During the sixth period, I asked him why he wasn't in his fourth-period class. He said, "Oh, I wasn't in fourth ‘cus I broke my foot". I looked down at his perfectly fine foot, then slowly back to his face. Ah…high school freshmen.
8. Reeling In The Rager
It was New Year's Eve roughly 20 years ago. I was a junior in high school, and my sister was a freshman there as well. My parents knew we both would try to throw a party at the house while they attended a party at one of their friend's houses. They spoke with the parents of the party I was going to, as well as the (different) parents of the party down the street where my sister was to spend her NYE.
She told them, "Under no circumstances should my child leave your house. If they do, let me know immediately". The night went on, and I was having fun with my friends at their party. My sister, predictably, escaped from that party and went back to our house. She called one friend and told them to come, to which they replied, "Only if I can bring the people I'm with". She agreed, and it was a terrible mistake.
Those friends called more friends, and before you knew it, our house was packed with a ton of kids that knew there was an empty house to party at with no supervision. My sister called me and said, “It’s out of hand. I don't know anyone at our house, and they are out of control…Silly string everywhere. Stuff is breaking. I need help"!
I tried to escape my party, but the parents caught me and wouldn’t let me leave. My sister called back, and they started to get an idea of what was going on, and they called my parents. My dad went back to the house. He pulled into the driveway, and people started to panic. Dad got out a notepad and started asking the kids for their names. He didn't realize they were all messing with him.
Somewhere there is an actual piece of paper from that night where he, unironically, listed such names as "Ben Dover" and "Mike Hunt" that fleeing teenagers gave him as they ran away.
My dad found the house in a state of disrepair. There was silly string on all the walls and ceilings; the house was trashed. Stuff was broken all over, and a lot of stuff was taken, including all my video games.
He came upon my sister, who was throwing up in the toilet from drinking too much. Mom ended up coming home and picking me up as well. There, I witnessed my plastered, underaged sister—the legend—attempt to get away with the dumbest lie I've ever heard. She tried to explain that it all happened while she was in the bathroom!
She said, "I was down the street at the party and saw people start walking in the direction of our house. I asked where they were going, and they said there was a raging party at <our address>, and I was like, 'Wait! That's MY house!' So then I ran back home, and sure enough, people had gotten in. I came home to SAVE our house! Why don't you believe meeeee"?!
Needless to say, my parents told her that she had about five minutes before the authorities came to change her story.
freepik, Freepik
9. Nerd Alert
When I was in elementary school, I had this friend who really liked to make up stories. Well, after Halloween, she was telling me the "story" of how her mom made her give all her candy to her brother. Then she said, “And I was only allowed to eat one,” then she paused and asked, “What's the smallest candy”? I told her, “A single Nerd”. She continued, “Yeah, I was only allowed to eat one single Nerd”.
10. Bad Hair Day
When my kid was around 3-4 years old, I looked at him, and his hair looked sort of weird. I just chalked it up to him having a bit of a thick, shaggy mop of hair and let it go. Later that day, I picked up a folded blanket to use while I watched TV on the couch. When I unfolded it, a perfect lock of blonde hair fell to the floor. That's when it finally hit me.
I looked at my kid and asked him if he cut his hair. He looked me in the eye with a straight face and said, “No. But maybe a worm crawled into my hair and chewed it off”. It was the dumbest lie I’ve ever heard. Over a decade later, I still laugh at it.
11. Funeral Forgery
A guy at work said, "My girlfriend's grandpa passed, and I need to go to the funeral. Look, here's a scan of the card as proof"! We knew the guy didn't have a girlfriend, and we also all knew that there were no funerals held on public holidays, at least not in this country. We also definitely knew that the card was forged because he had changed the date of the funeral but forgot to change the date of death.
12. Take A Bite Out Of THAT!
When I was a kid, my sister and I got into an argument and I tried to say that she bit me and that’s what started it. Except, I had bitten my own arm after the fact so that I could use that lie. But I didn't consider one key thing: I was missing two teeth and she wasn’t. So, the bite mark on my arm had two very obvious gaps where her teeth would have been. Needless to say, my mom saw it and just gave me a look that immediately told me I was really dumb.
13. Grounded For Getting It On
A guy I went to school with used to tell incredibly pointless lies and full stories to go along with them. The dumbest one was when he was grounded. We were around 15 at the time, and he told us he was grounded because he was at a wedding and he had slept with one of the bridesmaids. This is also a family wedding, mind you.
He basically concocted a full story about how the boyfriend found out and started an argument with the bride and the bride told his mother, who grounded him. This was possibly the most cringe-worthy lie he told.
stockking , Freepik
14. His Mouth Kept On Motoring
A compulsive liar that we (sadly) have to associate with for our day jobs was telling my wife how he went to buy a motorcycle and was given an $8,000 discount on the spot, a free helmet, a free jacket, and some more riding gear. We're all in the auto sales/finance industry, so we all know that no dealer selling a used motorcycle will give you $8,000 off instantly just because they like you.
But the story didn't stop there! He went on to say how he immediately took it up to 160 mph on city roads, not the highway/interstate. He told us how a state trooper pulled him over, but after talking with the trooper for a while, he was let go with a warning and with a pat on the back for handling his bike so well at such high speeds. It took everything for her to not laugh at him.
We could fill up an entire book with this person's lies. They go beyond your typical liar; they've got a SEVERE mental issue with lying. This same person also said he sold some purebred dogs to "the owner of Shell". He said the owner of Shell flew him and his wife out on private jets to deliver the dogs, and when they landed, the owner of Shell showed up with solid gold dog bowls as gifts.
The mental gymnastics and stammering that follows whenever you challenge him—like when we let him know, "There isn't a singular owner of Shell; it's an investor-owned company"—is so cringey and embarrassing that you genuinely feel bad for calling the guy out. So now we just smile, nod, and move on.
15. Varsity Bull
I used to hang out with a guy who was probably a pathological liar. Honestly, he was a really nice guy and actually fun to hang out with, as long as you understood the type of person he was. Almost any story he told you was absolute baloney, but to an extreme degree. It would even be about stuff that was blatantly provable.
My buddies and I all agreed that the most ridiculous lie he ever told us was this. He told us that he attended the University of California at Berkeley (we're Canadian), and he played on their football, hockey, and basketball teams while he was there. He was an absolute madman. He would tell us this, despite the fact that a bunch of us WENT TO COLLEGE WITH HIM HERE IN CANADA.
When you would try to challenge him on it, there was always an excuse, like he wasn't there on picture day, he was accidentally left off the roster, he did a couple of semesters there and a couple here, etc. Again, he was a super nice guy, fun to hang out with, and would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. He just lied his face off about the most ridiculous stuff.
16. She Was Full Of Hot Air
My sister had a tendency to blame her boyfriends when she would pass gas. She was a loud, stinky tooter. One day during Christmas, we were all together, and she broke wind and blamed her current boyfriend, as per usual. The thing was, she soon realized he wasn’t even there, and everyone was looking at her.
17. There Was No Evidence Of The Truth
I got into an online argument with an anti-vax Facebook friend. He kept saying he had tons of scientific evidence proving the vaccines were filled with brain-controlling microchips. I and others on the thread kept asking, “OK, what do you got? We’re interested, show us this evidence”. He sent a bunch of GIFs and memes about it.
So, we called him out and said, “Um no, those are memes, they can be made by literally a 7-year-old. That is not scientific evidence. Please send the evidence”. His reply was, “Well, I can’t because I got a new computer last night and accidentally deleted it all”.
18. He Was Trying To Pull A Real Snow Job
I used to be really really into snowboarding before I blew out my knee. I met this kid in high school who claimed to have been a pro snowboarder before moving to our school. I was 16 at the time and didn’t believe him, but decided to humor him because he “has video proof”. The next day he brought in a Burton DVD and fast-forwarded it to “his part”.
The DVD said the part was Jeremy Jones, a pretty famous pro snowboarder. This kid’s name was not Jeremy Jones, nor was he anywhere near the physical stature of Jeremy Jones. I called this kid out on it and he then DOUBLED DOWN and claimed he was currently involved in a million-dollar lawsuit where he’s suing the maker of the above film for listing his part as a Jeremy Jones part, and assured me it was himself in the film. I was dumbfounded and didn’t know what to say.
19. His Underground Lair Was A Lie
A kid I grew up with was a compulsive liar. He said that the driveway of his house opened up, leading to an underground garage where his dad kept the nicest cars that they owned. I was like, “Dude, you live next door to the high school music teacher. There's no way any of that is true”.
20. Mama Gave Me The Shake Down
I was 17, living in a very conservative/Christian household, and had just bought five pounds of shake (weed trimmings). I had come home after a night of partying, sat downstairs on our easy chair, and was breaking it down to make THC oil with it. I remember thinking, "I can't fall asleep before I hide this in my room". Then, I fell asleep.
I woke up to my mother saying, "Devon...DEVON...DEVON"! I looked at her and she had one of the massive ziplock bags, stuffed with weed, in her hands asking me what it was. I lucked out because the shake was moldy and smelled nothing like weed. I thought fast, and threw a hail mary: I told her that it was oregano. She smelled it, then told me to go throw it in the dumpster outside. I hid it behind the dumpster, picked it up later that night, and made oil with it.
Years later when I got clean, I took her out to dinner and told her everything. We became the closest friends. I brought up the time she found the weed, and she finally revealed the truth: She knew exactly what it was, she just didn't want to deal with the argument we would have had over me bringing five pounds of weed into the house.
21. Wedding Dress Deception
The stupidest lie I ever heard came from my mom after my wedding. She wanted to take my dress and get it cleaned and packed in one of those keepsake boxes. She brought it to me in a garbage bag a couple of months after the wedding. I said, “I thought you were going to get it cleaned”. My mom replied, “I did. Twice”. I guess she was tired.
22. He Piped Up Too Soon
A customer in the store I worked at several years ago tripped the alarm. I went up to him to ask the usual questions when this happens—Are you wearing any new clothing? Did you trigger alarms in other stores today? Is it possible you have something in your pockets that wasn't there when you came in? Stuff we are told to ask that has been known to trigger the alarm without the person actually having done anything wrong.
Before I got a chance to ask, he turned to me and said, “I didn't take nothing”! I hadn't even said anything yet, but it didn't take long before I found several items from the store in his pockets.
23. This Lie Was Out Of This World
My AT&T cable and internet went out. It had happened repeatedly, so I called the company. The person on the phone told me that my personal WiFi was out because “They're doing something with the satellites". I was like, “Exsqueeze me? They're working on SATELLITES, and it only affects my one little house in podunk Texas”?
24. She Was In Faking Health
I was on a school trip in high school and was sitting and talking with one of my classmates when another girl from our class came and sat with us. She and I had played sports together since we were kids but didn’t hang out much socially. Out of nowhere, she told us that she had leukemia and might not have that long to live.
I went home and told my mom about it. When she next spoke with the girl's dad—who was our soccer coach—my mom expressed her condolences. That's when the lie fell apart: The dad had no idea what she was talking about; the girl totally made it up.
Drazen Zigic , Freepik
25. The Need For The Truth
A good friend of mine was a notorious liar back in high school; he probably wanted attention. One day some other kids and I were talking about the new Need for Speed 6 that just came out. My friend said, “Nah, man, that one's old. I've already played NFS 7”. I asked him, “But how could you have it? This one just came out”. He replied, “NFS 6 came out here, but my grandma lives in the US, and there, NFS 7 is already out. She sent it to me through an email attachment”.
This was back in 2003 or thereabouts. We still mock him to this day for his terrible lies. A good friend otherwise.
Jean-Baptiste Burbaud , Pexels
26. An All-Around Bad Sport
We had a new kid transfer to our school from another one that was located across the city. During the first week, everyone was impressed with him and all his accomplishments. Most notably, playing for an elite sports team. The issue was that I actually played for that team, and he most definitely did not.
27. Joe The Liar
I used to work with a compulsive liar. Some of his greatest hits included, "When I lived in Florida, I worked at a bowling pin factory. On my break, I sprayed lacquer in a snake's face, then I chopped its head off. The snake spun around in circles", and "I can't take you to the lesbian bar. A guy went there last night. When the women found him, they beat him with bottles, then they threw him in a dumpster. He was so [mad] that he burned the joint down. It was in the paper this morning".
He also won a bar brawl against 20 guys using only karate and wrestling moves. God bless Joe the Liar.
28. Dorm Busted
When I dragged my now ex-husband from a girl's dorm room. His explanation made me want to strangle him. Apparently, he'd gone to a party after I'd fallen asleep, and his cell phone died, so he couldn't call me for a lift, and they would only take him to her dorm so he had to sleep there. Like no one else had a phone. I knew the girl, so she definitely had my number as well.
And why would you sneak out after I was asleep anyway? And why of all the people at the party, you could've stayed with, would you pick a girl's dorm room? I found him because they were always texting and he kept deleting his texts. So, as soon as I woke up and he wasn't there, I just went straight to her dorm room and was in no way surprised to find him there in her bed.
29. Riding The Lie
There was this dude in my college dorm who was a compulsive liar, but he was BAD at it. He lived not far from me, so I caught a ride from him back home for spring break. We went to his house and were going to meet my dad at the mall after he got off work. This kid kept telling me about how he owned a '72 Corvette. When we got to his house, there actually was a mint '72 Corvette in the garage.
It was CLEARLY his dad's, but since he said it was his, I said we should drive it to the mall later to drop me off. He made all kinds of excuses—it needed repairs, oil, gas, whatever, but I didn't let up. So when it came time to take me to the mall, this 18-year-old dingus drove his dad's cherry '72 Corvette, and I got to ride in his lie. I hope he got in trouble and maybe learned a lesson that day.
Sicnag, CC BY 2.0 ,Wikimedia Commons
30. Don’t Start Me Up
I had a buddy of mine, who is notorious for making things up and constantly lies, tell me that he was at a bar last night and the Rolling Stones were performing. He said that the guitarist got sick midway through, so he went up and played with them. I sat there pretending to be super impressed and as if I believed him; meanwhile, he didn’t even know how to play the guitar.
31. I Was No Dope He Was Full Of It
My junkie neighbor dropped his wallet containing a bag of dope out on the sidewalk, so I turned it over to the authorities to handle because I didn't want that stuff around my kids. The officers gave him all of his stuff back and let him go. Tweaker boy stated that the bag must have been planted because he had been clean for two years.
I might believe it if he wasn't actively selling the stuff in the parking lot and running around without shoes on at 2 AM, screaming like Donnie Thornberry. But I guess I just don't know as much as the authorities do about messed-up behavior.
32. I Smell A Liar
I had one roommate who was a pathological liar. She told us she was in a car accident in high school, and the TBI she got from it made her lose her sense of smell. She would ask us (her other roommates) to smell candles she bought for the house we lived in, ask how the food she was cooking smelled, etc. Homegirl walked into a party one day with us and immediately said, “It smells like weed”.
I said, “I thought you couldn’t smell”. Her answer was so ridiculous, I couldn't believe it: “Oh, I can’t. I can feel it in my eyebrows”. Hmmmm, OK.
We partied, then went home. We walked into the house, and she said, “Wow. It smells good in here”. I repeated, “I thought you couldn’t smell”. She said, “Oh, I can’t. I just know it smells good because of the candle I lit earlier that you said you liked”.
One month later, she told us a crazy ex-boyfriend of hers that used to stalk her had just gotten out of prison but that we didn’t need to worry for our safety. She then accused me of endangering her safety and defaming her for telling my friends I was scared to keep living in the house due to this crazy ex coming up on her radar. I moved out immediately. She was a wild lady.
33. News Flash, You’re Nuts!
A woman I used to work with would tell the most pointless lies and exaggerations. One of her doozies was that the female anchor of one of our local news shows chased her down and physically accosted her. The anchor demanded that she immediately turn over one of her recipes because she had brought homemade treats for the crew because they were doing such a great job of covering the Kyron Horman case.
This case was that of a missing little boy from some years ago. They've never found him. She then complained constantly that the authorities and FBI were surveilling her entire family because her grandson looked so much like the missing little boy.
34. Who In The Monk Are You Fooling?
In Sydney, there are a lot of ripoff artists who pretend to be Buddhist monks. They wear the monk robes but conspicuously have expensive sneakers; real monks have modest shoes. They go around begging for money, and some even have portable credit card machines. I saw a woman about to give a fake monk $20, and I warned her, saying the guy had expensive sneakers on. She asked him, "Are you a fake monk"? He said he wasn't, and she gave him the money.
35. Dad’s Lie Was Comical
I took my new girlfriend to meet my dad a few months ago. He told us that he used to make cartoons, which, to my knowledge, is not true. He described one in detail, which I recognized as the original Simon's Cat cartoon. When I showed him, he said it was his, and when I showed him there had been an entire series made over the last decade, he doubled down, saying his idea had been plagiarized. It was very strange.
36. That Mitsubishi Was A Mirage
My one friend claimed he had bought a Mitsubishi 3000GT as a project car. Now at this time, he didn't have a license and the car apparently needed a lot of work. The next we heard, he took it racing on a track and won. However, it was overheating because it had no radiator and the track was over two hours away. He was going to use the money he had won to fix the car up and sell it to get a 370Z. Keep in mind, still no license.
He got his license and his first car, a 1.0 Suzuki Alto. I kept pestering him for a photo and eventually, he sent one. It was the vaguest thing I've ever seen. There was an empty garage and on the left, you could see about half a car with a cover over it. Years passed, and he finally got his new car, a Hyundai i10. He still claims to have that 3000GT, but whenever I wanted to see it, he would say the car was in his mate's garage and he was on holiday.
aleksandarlittlewolf , Freepik
37. Seeing Double?
There was a guy in my high school that no one liked. He was kind of an idiot and weird. People used to pick on him all the time. One day, he came to school, claiming he was not him but his twin brother that went to another school. According to his "twin", they decided to switch for a while. He pulled this nonsense for like a week and then went back to normal, as if nothing ever happened. It was really weird. I wasn't the coolest kid in high school but at least I never didn't anything like that.
38. The Dark Side Of The Untruth
I went to school with a guy who said he had a split “dark” personality and he would do a deep growly voice when he was annoyed and wanted to intimidate people. He would insist he had schizophrenia and said no doctor would treat him because he was so “dangerous”. It was really weird. He dated a girl who took my Emily the Strange panties out of my bag at a sleepover so, match made, I guess.
freepik, Freepik
39. Her Lies Kept Going In Circles
I went to high school with this girl and had the biggest crush on her. One day, she invited me to go see Post Malone with her and some of her friends. I was so excited—but this was the day I learned the truth about her.
This was Post Malone’s first time in Utah and they had moved venues three times due to him selling out. He was very late to the show due to being at the wrong venue and having to drive out. This girl told me to pick up her co-worker and meet her there.
She also forgot to mention that her co-worker had some seriously weird tendencies, but I picked her up regardless. We lost all contact with my crush and the rest of the group. My crush later told me that they were backstage with Post and that she knew him from middle school, from a school in Florida where she was from. There were two problems with her story.
I went to middle school and high school with this girl. I had known her for 5-6 years by that point. Also, it’s public knowledge that Post Malone was born in New York and raised in Dallas until he moved to LA to pursue music. He never lived in Florida, and I’m not sure this girl had either. She claimed for months after that, she has a yearbook somewhere with both of their pictures in it from an Orlando middle school.
However, she, unfortunately, misplaced it even though “Austin”, as she would call him, had signed it back in 2011. They were “best friends before he got famous”, and they “still call each other all the time”.
40. Time Was Up For This Deception
In ninth-grade science class, the guy next to me said that the "ticking clock" mechanic in Majora's Mask was his idea. He said he wrote a letter to Miyamoto suggesting it, and Miyamoto wrote back saying he wasn't sure how they would be able to pull it off, but they'd try it. And then, they wrote him again, thanking him for the idea after the game was released. This dude was a straight con artist, constantly coming up with things to inflate his ego.
41. A False Count
When I was a college freshman, a very strange and creepy male student used to hover around the lobby of my all-female dorm. Before I knew he was to be avoided, he struck up a conversation with me and asked if I'd ever had a relationship before. I told him that I'd had two, and then he responded, "Me too. I've had nine or twelve".
42. An Explosive Tale
A kid in my sophomore class spread a rumor one afternoon that there were three explosives at our rural high school. One in the principal's office, one in the library (middle of the school), and one out in the area where the buses were located. The explosives were supposed to go off around 1 PM. I’m not sure if he was ever investigated or how far the rumor spread, but aside from freaking some of us out, nothing actually happened. This was pre-Columbine, which probably is why it didn't end up with them being taken into custody.
43. His Story Didn’t Add Up
I know this guy from high school who is a pathological liar. He waited until 20 years after high school to announce to me one day that he slept with the most conservative, uptight calculus teacher from our school that everyone had a crush on. Never mind the fact she’d have someone dropped from the class if he glanced the wrong way on a test.
This woman married a church minister and quit working to support their congregation at age 25, after ranking at the top of her university and being one of the youngest teachers ever to be hired to teach calculus. He doesn’t know these details about her, so he thinks his story sounds feasible. I should tell her what he said so she can sue him for defamation.
44. No Credit For His Excuses
I knew a kid in high school that was telling everyone that he had a list of credit cards he got online and was taking orders from everyone to buy things they wanted. I knew he was full of baloney, and everyone else should have known too, but he insisted so hard that the majority of people believed him. For weeks and weeks, people kept hounding him for their stuff.
He would make excuses like, “Oh, the truck carrying everything got stolen”! Eventually, people caught on, and he went back to being a nobody, which he didn’t like. So, he tried to start a rumor that everyone’s stuff didn’t come because I didn’t pay the $20 shipping fee for him.
freepik, Freepik
45. Who Gave Birth To This Nonsense?
Someone told me they had THREE c-sections with no pain medication because they didn't have time and needed to get back to work as soon as possible. So, they hopped on the table, told the surgeons to skip the anesthesia, and lay there as cool as a cucumber while they were cut open like a piece of fish. They stood up, walked to recovery, and began working on work emails.
46. He Had A Hack For Lying
When I was in the dorms in college, this guy on my floor styled himself as a big-time computer hacker. This was the late 90s, and he had basic skills but no real knowledge. He claimed that he was big into underground groups, and to prove it, he was going to interview this British hacker he knew. So a couple of days later, he updated his janky 1996-era website with the recording.
It was very obviously him asking a question and then responding in the worst British accent I’ve ever heard. A couple of us called him out on it, but he was so full of himself that he insisted it was real but that he did it over a bad phone line so that’s why the accent was so bad.
47. Food Fib
My brother is notorious for being a pathological liar but a REALLY bad liar at the same time. That, mixed with the fact that he also used to take food and doesn't exactly like me, caused a very similar pattern to ensue. This specifically happened when I was seven or eight, meaning my brother was nine or ten at the time. We had gotten Little Caesars for dinner, and my dad was working late at night.
My mom specifically got cheesy garlic bread ONLY for my dad because it's his favorite from there. I, being the usual good goober I am, easily listened to the rule and ate my own food, and soon enough later, went to sleep. Soon, I was woken up by screaming in the house. It was my dad. My dad's usually a very cheery and happy guy, so hearing him genuinely mad for the first time SCARED me.
I was too tired, though, and despite the yelling, I went back to sleep. In the morning, I asked my mom what the yelling last night was for. My mom explained that shortly after I fell asleep, my brother somehow had gotten to the cheesy bread for my dad and ate ALL of it. Not a single one was left for the man it was bought for.
My dad caught my brother with the greasy box while having grease on his fingers and all over his mouth. Meanwhile, my brother told my dad that I was actually the one to eat it. Despite the literal EVIDENCE on his face, he blamed ME, who was asleep, for it. He got in trouble, of course.
48. Caught In The Act
I got into a car accident where a lady made an unsafe merge on the freeway, and I hit the side of her car. In the officer’s report, she said I hit her while “driving on the wrong side of the freeway”. She also tried to sue me for personal injury, but the lawyer dropped her case as soon as I sent him our dashcam video. It’s ridiculous how dumb people's lies can get.
49. No Cleaning These Dirty Lies
I worked the night shift cleaning with a guy who apparently owned five of every sports car in existence, was a millionaire who made his money doing RnD for the CIA/CSIRO/Army but chose to work overnight cleaning because? He said he was listed as a dangerous weapon in every database in the world because of his Special Ops training at 19 and was briefly married to an ex-Russian supermodel who was 60 years old.
But one day, I got the shock of a lifetime: Before work, his 60-year-old ex-Russian supermodel ex-wife actually turned up to drop off some stuff for him, so that wasn't actually a lie.
50. House Of Mirrors
Years ago, I had a work friend who told me his parents were rich and they lived in a three-story mansion. One day he needed a ride home, so I gave him one, and he had me drop him off at a trailer park. He tried to say they owned it (plausible) and that their mansion was way in the back of the park (not very likely). Either way, I didn't care where he lived, so there was no reason to lie.
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