Are the holidays just a straight-up nightmare for anyone else? Between mid-November and late December every year, it seems like it’s a six-week ordeal to keep a straight face as family, friends, and strangers do their best to destroy the last bit of patience anyone they come into contact with has left. If you can relate to this, then you’ll definitely find comfort in these stories of bad gifts, rude relatives, and disastrous dinners. But buckle in, because they’re so twisted they’ll make you grateful that your own holiday horrors weren’t as bad.
1. I Had To Log Off Of This Game
My brother and I only wanted one gift, and we were willing to share it. So, we begged and begged our whole family to chip in for a PlayStation 1, to which they obliged. We were well-mannered kids with good grades, and it was only one gift, so why not? Christmas Day came, and there was one big box under the tree with both of our names on it. We literally couldn’t wait to open it.
Our ex-step-father instructed us to open it first. The excitement was palpable as we ripped all the paper off in a Tasmanian devil-like flurry. There it was—the trademark black Sony box with a picture of the PlayStation on the outside. In my nine-year-old mind, I could already picture how amazing the Ridge Racer graphics were going to be!
We quickly cut the tape and opened the box lid. It was a log!?! A piece of firewood. Oh, but it gets worse. It turns out our ex-stepfather thought that it would be really funny to take all of the money our family gave him for the PlayStation and spend it on himself. He then opened the expensive gifts he bought for himself, with the funds intended for the PlayStation, while we watched. My mother spent the rest of the day crying.
2. This Holiday Needs A Rewind
I was at my wife’s uncle’s house for Thanksgiving. It was also their anniversary weekend, so my uncle’s wife decided to play their wedding video right after dinner. She looked for a half hour to find the videotape. She finally found it and gathered the whole dinner party, about 25 people, to the backroom area and played the video. That’s when my uncle’s secret came out.
Right as she was walking down the aisle, when she was about mid-way down, the video went fuzzy and cut to Dale Earnhardt’s funeral. My uncle used the tape of his wedding video to record Dale Earnhardt’s funeral. Everyone froze in complete shock, and I started laughing, I just couldn’t help it. It felt like I was in a sitcom, but it was real life.
3. Can’t Please Everyone
I don’t spend Christmas with my mother anymore. When I was between the ages of 15 and 17, my parents were in the process of a nasty divorce, so I spent Christmas Eve and morning with my father and then went to my mum’s side of the family for Christmas dinner. Her response was unhinged. She was so upset I had spent half my time on Christmas with my dad that during dinner she didn’t sit or speak to me.
Later that night as we were getting ready for bed in a room we shared, she was typing on her computer, still not having said a word to me up to this point. I asked her to be a little quieter because I was trying to sleep, and then she blew up at me with no warning. It ended with her telling me I ruined Christmas. My grandpa ended up driving me out to meet my dad at 1 AM that night. I am forever grateful to my grandfather for taking me out of that horrible situation.
4. Taking Some Insurance
My dad rigged my car to explode the last time I saw him. He and my stepmom took out life insurance policies on my stepsister and me. That year, I went to their house for the holidays and while we were eating, he went out into my car and loosened up all of the fuel lines. It was a 300zx, so the engine would get really hot. He took off the engine cover so that it was bare metal under the hood.
I caught him outside with the hood up when I went out to smoke. He said he was just glancing around. One day, a few weeks later, the fuel lines popped off while I was driving. The car just sputtered out, thank God, so I jumped out and popped the hood to see fuel had sprayed all over everything. Called my dad to ask what to do.
He told me I had to get the car to his house which was 30 miles away. Instead, I got it towed to my shop and that’s where they told me that it looked like the hose clamps were intentionally loosened. I knew that no one else was ever even under the hood. So, I never went back.
5. Our Invitation Came At A Cost
My aunt invited us all over to her and her family’s house, which was out of state, for Thanksgiving, and everything was going to be provided by them. Our family decided to go, and we offered to bring something, anything, just as a thank you. However, my aunt insisted we don’t bring anything. The dinner was good, and it was an overall very great Thanksgiving. But a month later, we got an infuriating letter.
It was from my aunt, proclaiming that we now owed her $75 to cover the cost of the meal. My parents were so upset, as we had just spent a lot of money to go down and see her and had even offered to lighten her load by bringing some of our own dishes. We wouldn’t even be so mad if it weren’t for the fact that my aunt didn’t even tell anyone about this when she was giving out the invitations.
6. The Evil Stepfather
My mother was a narcissist. She got remarried when I was ten or so and her new man was everything. She had always been abusive, but it was always of the emotional, mental variety. After his unwavering acquiescence of her torment, he came to agree with it wholeheartedly. That’s when my life became a real nightmare. For instance, when I was eleven, his three boys came to stay with us over Christmas break from school.
They were showered with gifts. I received none. Their explanation was so messed up. They told me that I was not a good child like his three boys. The eldest of his children, who was around twelve at the time, took pity on me and gave me an RC car that had been gifted to him. When I was caught playing with it, it was taken from me. When the eldest explained he had given it to me for Christmas my stepdad lightly reprimanded him and then took me outside.
I was told to stand still and watch as he ran the RC toy over with his big truck. I then had to sleep on the cold cement basement floor for “taking” presents from his children. I’ve never celebrated Christmas since. The whole holiday season makes me very emotionally wrecked with bitter intermittent flashbacks of the way I grew up.
7. The Nutcracker
I had been with my girlfriend for around two or three years. Her family considered me a part of their family, but my girlfriend’s mom, and aunt, were probably the most hypocritical and kooky insane people you could ever meet. Her aunt believed that if you use a GPS, you don’t deserve to live in that state. Mind you; she proceeded to get everyone lost when she was driving us around on vacation.
She had lived in that state for 27 years by that time. Her mom is a manipulative person. For Christmas one year, I went over to my girlfriend’s home to celebrate with them before celebrating with my girlfriend at my house. I got a present from the aunt who sent something over. It was a single rubber duck that had the bottom torn out. A note was stuffed in the opening, and on that note was the sentence, “If you are reading this, you destroyed the birdie!”
But it got even more confusing from there. I also got a painted rock that was just painted black with the words “best buds” on it. Her mom’s gift was even worse! I got a nutcracker. I didn’t fully understand it at the time. But I finally got it when my girlfriend’s dad took me aside and said in a hushed tone, “I’m sorry for the gift, but my wife has given that to my oldest daughter’s boyfriends too, as a threat.”
So, all in all, I got a broken rubber duck that blamed me for destroying it, a painted rock, and a threat that if I did ANYTHING to hurt my girlfriend that her mother would use the NUTCRACKER on me.
8. Black Sheep Brouhaha
My stepbrother had just been released for possession and distribution of illicit substances. He was the total black sheep of the family. He proved why in just one day. He brought his girlfriend, who was plastered out of her mind. They proceeded to eat nothing but turkey and rolls. Then, she decided to go up into my step aunt’s bathroom, where we later found her passed out.
My stepbrother attempted to wake her up by punching her in, as he put it, “the cooter.” We had to call law enforcement.
9. A Broken Memento
My late grandmother gave me something of hers, and when I came back from the bathroom, I found that my mother had broken it. I got angry—that’s when my mom snapped. She started screaming at me and ran outside after she was done. I was never able to talk back to my mother growing up, but the last few years, my patience with her personality disorders waned, and I just glared at her until she ran away.
I followed her outside and asked her angrily if she wanted to be a part of my family. She said no. So, I turned around and left. She followed me out, screaming the whole time about what a piece of garbage I am. It’s a tactic used by narcissists to degrade someone’s sense of self in order to subjugate them. I told her the only way I’d talk to her again is if we were in court.
So, this holiday season will be the first time away from my family. I’ll be with my wife’s family, who are nice people.
10. Notorious M-O-M
My mom is notorious for bad presents. I have received such delights as toothpaste and vitamin pills wrapped up for me at Christmas. However, there was one that stands out. It was a car crash kit. It had a disposable camera for recording the scene, a form for both parties to fill out, a tape measure for measuring stuff, and some chalk, for what I assume, was for marking out where the bodies landed or something. I’m not sure.
11. What A Grateful Bunch
We were having a big Thanksgiving, maybe 15-20 people who loved to eat. My uncle and grandfather don’t have a good relationship but were tolerating each other because of Thanksgiving. My uncle was cooking lasagna, and my grandfather decided to help, so he grated the cheese. He did this in another room because the kitchen was full of other people cooking.
I had brought in the cheese, and everything was going fine. Then came dinner time. The food was coming out, and as tradition dictated, we always started with lasagna. My grandfather made some jokes like, “I know you hate me, but at least I’m grate.” That’s when it all hit the fan. My uncle literally went into a rage and was yelling at everyone because we didn’t tell him he was using “tainted” cheese.
He then started cursing and proceeded to flip the table that had ALL the food on it. Then my grandfather called him outside to settle the score, which resulted in two grown men fist fighting in the backyard. It culminated with my grandad getting thrown into the pond we lived by and slicing his leg on a jagged rock that he landed on.
The rest of us ordered Chinese food and kicked my uncle out. My grandfather refused to go to the hospital because he had a little too much “holiday joy” in him at the time. My uncle hasn’t come for the holidays for several years now.
12. Making It Manageable
One year, two of my brothers got in a fistfight on the front lawn. Another year, two of my brothers got stoned and cut the Christmas tree I bought because they were “trimming it” to fit in the stand. I always do 90% of the cooking, but I’m left to sit in the living room with two of my brothers’ random friends because there was no room at the table.
I regularly play referee, and I always have to buy or at least wrap my own presents. Yeah, I don’t go home for the holidays anymore. Want to know the best part? Since I started not going, I receive yearly calls about how unmanageable the holidays are when I’m not there. Ha! I enjoy them with my husband who gets me gifts and wraps them and appreciates my hard work.
13. The Nutcracker
I’ve been with my girlfriend for like two to three years now. Her family considers me a part of their family, but my girlfriend’s mom and aunt are probably the most hypocritical and insane people you could ever meet. Aunt believes that if you use a GPS, you don’t deserve to live in that state. She proceeded to get everyone lost when she was driving us around on vacation.
She had lived in Florida for 27 years by that time. The mom is a manipulative narcissist who actually said to my girlfriend and a mutual friend of ours that she only keeps my girlfriend around as someone to “let her anger out on.” This year, I got the worst of it. For Christmas, I went over to my girlfriend’s home to celebrate with them before celebrating with my girlfriend at my house.
I got a present from the aunt who sent something over. I received a single rubber duck that had the bottom torn out of it. A note was stuffed in the opening, and on that note was the sentence, “If you are reading this, you killed the birdie!” There was also a painted rock that was almost completely black with the words “best buds” on it.
The mom was the worst one though. I got a nutcracker from her. I didn’t fully understand it at the time. But I finally got it when my girlfriend’s dad took me aside and said in a hushed tone, “I’m sorry for the gift, but she has given that to boyfriends as a threat.” That’s right, I got a broken rubber duck that blamed me for killing it, a painted rock, and a threat that if I did anything to upset my girlfriend, that her mother will use the nutcracker.
14. What A Fake!
My grandmother didn’t like my dad very much. She picked a fight with him, so he decided that he was going home. My grandmother realized that my stepmom (her daughter) was going to take my dad’s side and go home too; she started yelling a lot. Then, as a last-ditch effort, she dramatically clutched her chest and collapsed very carefully.
My dad offered to call for help, but my grandfather said it wasn’t necessary. When my grandmother realized no one was taking her seriously, she opened her eyes, allowed my grandfather to help her up, and went inside with him while fake sobbing. Usually, she was quite lovely, but she had her moments. The holidays usually brought out the worst in her, which was weird because she loved cooking and celebrating.
15. Everything’s Falling Down!
My since-passed grandfather brought a Craigslist working girl to family Christmas. Of course, she preceded to get loaded and hit on me. But it gets even worse. She actually tried ripping off my shirt; a couple of buttons popped off. My grandpa, after seeing this, comes over and screams at her. She takes a swing at my grandpa, and he attempts to grab her.
I get in between them to try to separate them. This was all happening next to the bar shelf which is getting run into and begins to fold. I have my leg propping up the shelf from falling while holding each of them apart while they swing away at each other and me. Took what seemed like an hour for my brother to step in and help.
My family then took my grandpa’s side and disregarded the event even happened. I didn’t attend the next three years of holiday events.
16. Laundry Emergency!
My husband’s uncle called me four times on my birthday before 8AM, leaving cryptic voicemails about how he needed to talk to me as soon as possible. I started to panic. I thought someone was hurt. I called back maybe 20-30 minutes later when I was fully awake, and he told me to rush over to his house. I get there and he says he had a gift for me and wanted to make sure I got it on my birthday!
I watch him pull a men’s polo out of his laundry basket and say, “I saw this and knew you’d love it!” I’m a petite woman who doesn’t wear polos. He found a men’s large polo shirt in the back of his closet that he was given at some event 15 or more years ago, somehow thought that was emergency worthy, but also didn’t need to even put it in a gift bag or anything.
He crumpled the shirt from the laundry to my hand. It’s been almost three years and I’m still perplexed by it.
17. It Smells So Good, But This Thanksgiving Just Stinks!
I was about 10 or 11 years old. My then best friend and I made plans to hang out at his apartment for the day. He lived in a distant neighborhood from mine. So, to get to and from his place, I had to take a bus. We usually hung out together on the weekend, but since there was no school on Thanksgiving, it gave us an extra day in the week to play together.
He had an older sister, about 17 or 18 years older, who had her own son. His sister lived in her own separate apartment on the same floor, down the other end of the hallway from my friend’s place. We spent the entire day going back and forth from his place to her place, then back to his place, etc. In the meantime, the ovens of both kitchens in both apartments were going full blast, cooking up a fabulous smelling feast of all sorts of food.
When evening came around, it was time to serve the meal. Then they told me something that made my heartbreak. They said it was time for me to go home. I was puzzled. I was invited over to hang out and play with my friend on Thanksgiving. Although it was never specified that I was to eat Thanksgiving dinner with them, I took it for granted that that was what I was going to get to do.
I don’t recall misbehaving in any way the entire day. Regardless, I put on my jacket and left my friend’s apartment. Usually, when I left my friend’s place to go home, I would take the elevator down. But this evening, I opted to walk down the stairs all the way to the ground floor. I wanted to smell all the food that was being cooked in all the other apartments throughout the entire building, floor by floor.
I figured smelling all that food in the hallways of my friend’s apartment building would be the closest I would come to having a Thanksgiving dinner that day. Sure enough, it was. I reached the ground floor, exited the building, and crossed the street to catch my bus home. When I finally got home, my family had eaten their Thanksgiving dinner.
My relatives had all gone home left, and all the food was completely eaten up. There was only one pan left on the dining room table that had nothing but turkey bones in it. It didn’t occur to them to save any food for me because they assumed I was having Thanksgiving dinner at my friend’s place, too. I was feeling dejected and depressed.
I just immediately went to bed even though it was still early and I wasn’t sleepy—just hungry. It was the worst Thanksgiving I ever had.
18. These Aren’t Gifts At All…
I was dating a guy for a few months when Christmas rolled around. He had recently started a new job that required travel. This was before smartphones and built-in GPS in your car were common, so I splurged a bit and got him a Garmin to help him find his way. Thoughtful, useful, but not too sentimental; it felt perfect for where the relationship was at the time.
Due to schedules, we couldn’t get together until a few days after Christmas. The second I saw him, my stomach dropped. In my haste to go see him, I walked right out the door without his gift. I didn’t realize it until I got to his house, and I felt terrible, but he said, “No worries, I’ll give you your gifts now and I’ll just get mine later.” Cool. So, he goes into the other room and comes back with two wrapped gifts.
I noticed some of the paper was messed up like it had been rewrapped, but didn’t think much of it in the moment. I carefully unwrapped the first package—and I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was an MMA magazine. That had clearly been read. I was…confused. I do not like MMA. Not even a little bit. Nor have I ever expressed interest in MMA. Not once. He, on the other hand, loved all things MMA.
Trying to move on, I politely thanked him, set the magazine down, and refocused on the next gift. I could tell it was a DVD from the shape of the package. And indeed, it was a DVD. A Forrest Gump DVD. With the cellophane wrapper missing. Now don’t get me wrong, Forrest Gump is a solid choice. Except, I already owned a Forrest Gump DVD.
And now here I was suddenly the proud owner of a second copy that appeared used. I again thanked him, and sat there quietly, trying to wrap my head around how he could have arrived at the conclusion that a used magazine on a topic I didn’t like and a second-hand DVD of something I already owned would make for good Christmas gifts.
He also got a little quiet, then sheepishly volunteered, “I, uh, got bored so I watched the movie yesterday.” I just stared. “And then I, uh, hadn’t seen that issue yet…so I went ahead and read through it. I think you’ll really like it!” I slowly responded, “So…you got me a magazine because you wanted to read it and then watched the movie you got for me because you were bored?”
His only response was, “Well yeah, I guess so.” I left not long after. The next day, I returned the Garmin for a full refund. About a week later, he called and said he didn’t think it was working out. “No problem,” I said, “I don’t think it’s working out either.” As we were wrapping up the call, expressing well wishes and all that, he paused for a beat and said, “Hey, uh, were you still going to give me that Christmas present?”
19. Friends Or Family
I lived about two and a half hours from home but hadn’t actually lived there for 10 years. Anyways, I have a small family, and we had a Christmas get-together 2 weeks before actual Christmas. However, my wife’s best friend’s father passed from cancer, and he was also a good friend of mine. His funeral was my family’s planned Christmas get-together.
I did not go home for that get-together, as I obviously went to the funeral. They…did not take it well. I literally had to receive wrath from Grandma about caring more about friends than family, and my aunt eviscerating me on Facebook. I haven’t spoken to any of them in five years because of that, and I’m perfectly fine with it.
20. Kindle Conundrum
When I was 12, I bought myself a Kindle. My sister and I spent an entire summer working for our grandpa and stepdad to save up for them. We each spent about $200. My mom got all three of my brothers Kindles for Christmas, and I got some clothes from Old Navy. I was livid. When I talked to my mom about it, she told me that my sister and I had been excluding our brothers from hanging out while we played video games, and it was unfair.
She never apologized or saw anything wrong with what she did. I honestly still haven’t forgiven her, almost a decade later.
21. This Stirred Up A Lot Of Confusion
My Aunt Janie took a bunch of Xanax, and who knows what else, on top of drinking a jug of Carlo Rossi that she had hidden in her room. She then proceeded to pocket every spoon in the house while the rest of us were drinking and playing games. EVERY. SINGLE. SPOON. We found them in her purse. I still don’t know why she took just the spoons.
22. A Relaxing Visit
I was laid off and went back to visit for the week. Times were tough for me, and I just wanted to relax. I hadn’t lived there in seven years. But the week I went, my mom was really laying into me to clean her house, do her dishes, wash her laundry. I told her I don’t live here anymore and I’m not doing her chores. To which she flipped out and started yelling at me.
She’s always been a two-faced backstabber, but I’d had enough. I immediately walked away from her, packed my bag, and got in my car to make the 10-hour drive home. I haven’t spoken to her since. That was almost three years ago now. I have no desire to see her ever again. She’s caused nothing but misery and pain in my life.
23. Didn’t Get Me My Tamagotchi
When the Tamagotchi craze was in full swing, my siblings and I asked for one. My sisters both got one, and I got a jacket because mine was torn up and small. So, I asked my dad why I didn’t get one and if Santa thought I had done something terrible that year. He told me I was too old for Santa and needed to learn that life isn’t fair. I was eight, and my sisters were seven and five. From that point forward, I only ever received clothing.
24. Kissing Cousins
My two cousins came into the living room where we were all gathered, and proudly announced to the family that they were romantically involved. They explained how being related by blood isn’t something they can control and gave this big speech on true love. I was about eight years old at the time, so I didn’t really get it.
My entire family just sat there staring, mouths agape. My two great aunts, the mothers of the two cousins, looked at each other in horror. My great-grandmother, the matriarch of our family, said something along the lines of, “No.” My cousins excused themselves and went to get “fresh air.” Immediately thereafter, chaos ensued.
Every member of the family started giving their two cents. My one great aunt, who dabbled in shapeshifting and magic, and stuff, said that maybe they were kindred spirits and that their auras seemed to match. Everyone then shifted the conversation from my two cousins to the sanity of my aunt. Meanwhile, I went to go snoop on the one cousin because he was my favorite older cousin.
I realized that they were gone, so I went to tell my family. Then we created a makeshift search party to look for them in the wash behind my great grandmother’s house. This wash was huge—miles and miles of uninhabited desert. This was in Benson, Arizona, a sleepy little town in the middle of nowhere. The wash was full of saguaros, snakes, big rocks, and hills, the whole nine yards.
Luckily the family was familiar with the layout of this vast desert wasteland because it was tradition to go walk around in it after Thanksgiving lunch. My mom made it fun for the other little cousins and me, and I remember how we pretended to be the FBI. We ended up finding them. They were standing up on this big rock holding hands.
It was weird. We brought them back and had our awkward Thanksgiving lunch. By the following Thanksgiving, they weren’t together anymore, and no one in my family talks about this at all ever.
25. Nobody’s Here!
I flew home for Christmas from across the country. Upon landing, I was informed that my sister would not be joining us because she couldn’t get the day off. My parents knew this well in advance but didn’t want me not to come. I was also informed that we would not be doing Christmas with my extended family as they were busy with my cousin’s husband’s family.
Since I don’t have a great relationship with my family, I was already pretty crushed. Still, it was worse than I ever imagined. I spent Christmas Day with my mother and father until my father left around 2 PM to visit his friends. My mother then went to bed around 3 PM and didn’t wake up until the next day. I decided to wait to have dinner until someone either woke up or came home.
My father came home around 6 PM, and he forced me to hug him despite my protests while he was just in his underwear. He then proceeded to run to the bathroom and puke his guts out. Yeah, I’m just not going back.
26. This Christmas Ended Up Being Trash
Growing up, when I was a kid, my grandparents always gave us weird gifts. They learned one thing about us and locked on to it so hard that it became a theme. For example, my sister said once she liked giraffes, so every year, they got her something cheesy with a giraffe on it. Despite our best efforts to thank them and be grateful for their presents, they could always tell we didn’t like what they got us. It made them sad every year, and we felt terrible about it.
One Thanksgiving, when my sister and I were around ten years old, we were at their house playing. We accidentally found what they had intended to give us for the next Christmas. They were these two beautiful handmade dollhouses. We loved them and were excited to get them eventually. We were also happy we didn’t have to pretend to like the gifts.
So, my sister and I concocted the most brilliant plan that a 10-year-old could. When the conversation with family about what we wanted for Christmas came up, we said we really wanted dollhouses. My younger sister even told Santa that was what she wanted, and we were so happy that our grandparents would be able to get us exactly what we wanted! There was no way they saw through our genius scheme.
Christmas arrived, and our grandparents went to another room to get our presents. We prepared ourselves to be elated, even practiced being surprised. We had no idea what we were in for. Instead of the dollhouses, they brought us out two new trash cans. At that point, we didn’t have to pretend to be surprised anymore. Our grandma smiled at us and let us know that they knew we snooped and found the presents.
They said the trash cans were a more fitting present for the “garbage granddaughters that you are.” Needless to say, after that, we had very little contact with them.
27. Turkey Time
My husband’s grandma was hosting Thanksgiving dinner at her house and asked us to provide the turkey. We had to go to spend Thanksgiving with my husband’s dad’s side that morning, so we dropped the turkey off on our way to his dad’s house. His grandma said that they would be eating at 4 PM. We arrived back at his grandma’s house around 3:45 PM. What we saw made my family’s blood boil. Everyone had already eaten all the food, including the entire turkey. All of it.
28. Last-Minute Plans
My husband’s family is just far better at making reliable plans than my family, so they usually win out. I can’t travel all the way across the country to try and see my sister and brother when they refuse to nail down plans more than a day or two in advance. “Oh, you’re coming into town. Cool, text us when you get here, and we’ll try and meet up.” Except when I arrive, they forgot they had some other obligation half the time.
29. MMA Magazine Madness
I was dating a guy for a few months when Christmas rolled around. He had recently started a new job that required him to travel. This was before smartphones and cars had built-in GPS, so I splurged a bit and got him a navigation system to help him find his way. Thoughtful, practical, but not too sentimental; it felt perfect for where the relationship was at the time.
Due to our schedules, we couldn’t get together until a few days after Christmas. In my haste to go see him, I walked right out the door without his gift. I didn’t realize it until I got to his house, and I felt terrible, but he said, “No worries, I’ll give you your gifts now, and I’ll just get mine later.” Cool. So he went into the other room and came back with two wrapped gifts.
I noticed some of the paper was messed up as if it had been rewrapped, but I didn’t think much of it at the moment. I carefully unwrapped the first package. It was an MMA magazine—that had clearly been read. I was confused. I did not like MMA. Not even a little bit. Nor have I ever expressed interest in MMA. Not once. He, on the other hand, loved all things MMA.
Trying to move on, I politely thanked him, set the magazine down, and refocused on the next gift. It was even more bizarre. From the shape of the package, I could tell it was a DVD. It was a Forrest Gump DVD—with the cellophane wrapper missing. Forrest Gump is a solid choice, except I already owned a Forrest Gump DVD. Now here I was suddenly the proud owner of a second copy that appeared to be used.
I thanked him again and sat there quietly, trying to wrap my head around how he could have arrived at the conclusion that a used magazine on a topic I didn’t like, and a secondhand DVD of something I already owned would make for good Christmas gifts. He got a little quiet, then sheepishly volunteered, “I, uh, got bored, so I watched the movie yesterday.”
I just stared at him. He continued, “And then I, uh, hadn’t seen that issue yet…so I went ahead and read through it. I think you’ll really like it!” I slowly responded, “So, you got me a magazine because you wanted to read it and then watched the movie you got for me because you were bored?” His only response was, “Well yeah, I guess so.” I left shortly after that.
The next day, I returned the GPS system for a full refund. About a week later, he called and said he didn’t think it was working out. “No problem,” I said, “I don’t think it’s working out either.” But it wasn’t over yet. As we were wrapping up the call, expressing well wishes and all that, he paused for a beat and said, “Hey, uh, were you still going to give me that Christmas present?”
30. She Acts Like Number One, But She’s A Number Two
My father’s girlfriend is 10 years older than him and is very superficial. I think she was jealous of my relationship with him and was constantly wanting to assert herself as his number one. I was perfectly fine with that, and it’s awesome that she keeps him busy. However, one Thanksgiving sunk her for me. It was also my first time meeting her.
She sat at the head of the table at MY house and acted like she was the hostess while monopolizing the entire conversation and treating me as if I was her waitstaff. She told me that I should eat very little to watch my figure and that I should dye my hair. She was disappointed in my husband’s wardrobe choice for the evening, and the grand finale was that she told my father I was being difficult after the night was over and after everything I did to make her comfortable. I haven’t seen her since.
31. A Good Brother
My older half-brother and I️ would go to our mom’s place for Thanksgiving even though she didn’t raise us; our real dads and grandparents did. Thanksgiving of 2000 when I️ was 14, our stepfather made the mistake of hitting me in front of my brother. My brother is 14 years older than me, so he was in his twenties when this happened. I’ll never forget the distinct sound of genuine hatred when he screamed at our mother’s husband. We didn’t go back for the next holiday.
32. Oh Goodie!
My lovely sister was a multimillionaire. She had bought each of her four children, who were between the ages of two and twenty-one, their own homes for when they grow up. One year, a week before Christmas, she told me to rush over to her company, saying that she had a Christmas surprise for me. So I drove over to meet her during my lunch break.
She met me in the parking lot and handed me her company’s goodie bags. I got T-shirts and notepads with her company logo on them. The only thing of value was a rechargeable USB charger, but it didn’t even work. She then told me to count that as my Christmas and birthday present all in one. Unbelievable.
33. No Country Ham For Me
I had been vegetarian/vegan for years without anyone in my family knowing, aside from my parents. Our Thanksgivings were usually pretty big parties with about 30-40 people, so we don’t all sit at the same table or anything like that. Therefore, no one ever really noticed. My very older country cousin, who is about 20 years my senior, had a son who was a master marksman.
The kid would win contests all the time, and often the prizes were really fancy hams, meats, and stuff like that. All the cousins were hanging out drinking some moonshine and George Dickel, our family drink of choice. My country cousin sneakily cut off a few pieces of his prized ham. If one of our aunts caught him with food before the meal, we would all be in trouble, regardless of whether we were all adults.
Everyone was trying it and talking about how good it was, except for me. Then something in him snapped. He became very insistent that I try it and got really mad. He stormed off for a smoke outside. It seems as if me not eating his ham became the embodiment of his entire life of being dismissed by others in the family.
He was making enough of a fuss that my mother had to tell my aunt that I didn’t eat meat. She told my country cousin. He eventually found me and said, “Aw man, I thought you didn’t want it ‘cause it was mine. You don’t eat anybody’s meat. Sorry I was in your face.” We were able to hug it out, but that was the year of the Ham Incident.
34. My Meddling Mom
My wife’s family is all deceased. The only one left alive on my side is my mother. Still, every time we go see her, I regret it instantly. We are quite literally all she’s got, and still she tries to meddle like heck in our marriage. Last Christmas, after she left, we went to a marriage counselor because things got so bad.
The counselor said we are both more than fine and to limit contact with nightmare mother and mother-in-law. We no longer see or hear from her anymore.
35. Temper Tantrums
Literally every Christmas, my stepdad causes a fight. I’ve learned to think it’s funny, and just laugh at his 5-year-old tantrums now, since I no longer depend on them whatsoever. I just leave if he gets really annoying. His antics are usually because someone wrapped presents wrong or opened a present in the wrong order.
His tantrums consist of throwing things, breaking things, slamming doors, peeling out of the driveway, and veins exploding from his forehead. It was scary to watch when I was 10, but now it’s just comical. He’s in his late 50s now.
36. I’d Rather A Side Of Fries Than That!
I don’t usually complain about any present gifted to me because it’s always the thought that counts; however when I was about 12, I got the worst gift ever. My mother had married someone who came from a very large family. He also had a child that was a year younger than me. Every year my stepdad’s parents had a giant Christmas party.
All seven of their kids and their spouses, along with all of their kids, would come. I was the oldest of all the children; most of them were quite a bit younger than me. We started opening up presents from the grandparents, and I was waiting my turn. I saw that every boy in the group was being gifted a giant dragon statue. This thing was really cool. Every one of the boys got the same one, but with slight variations. I couldn’t wait to get mine!
The time came for me to open up my present, and I was handed a much smaller package. I was really confused, but I was just hoping it would grow once it hit the sunlight. Sadly, I opened it to find a nice action figure type doll…of Ronald McDonald. I was speechless. It was not a mistake at all because once I opened it, the grandmother said that I could start collecting them all. That was the first time I felt like a complete outcast in that family.
37. She’s Not Senile, Just Selfish
My wife and I usually host Thanksgiving for around 15 people. Everyone would bring side dishes, as was the custom. That is, everyone except my mother-in-law. Her approach was mind-blowingly selfish. She would only bring stuff for herself. She proudly announced that whatever she brought was just for her to anyone who would listen.
It’s not for diet purposes, because she eats all the other food too. When dessert makes an appearance, she will make a big scene about wanting the first piece instead of letting the kids get theirs and get out of the way. One year there was a big argument about the corner pieces of a chocolate cake. She went first as usual and cut herself two corner pieces and took them both.
If you want to make little kids cry, do that. And, she wouldn’t give them up! She also treats our guest room and bath like a hotel. When she leaves, she takes the toilet paper rolls, the Kleenex box, paper towels, soap, etc. She is not senile. The only reason we would invite her every year is because my wife is the only family that she has, and she would feel tremendously guilty if we didn’t.
38. Stop Belittling!
One side of my family is just a bunch of blowhards who all went to Ivy League schools and work on Wall Street, and they just suck. I definitely went to a good school and have a good job, but every year they tried to make me feel like garbage. I got accepted in an early decision to a good college, and at Christmas that year the cousins go, “So, did you apply early because you didn’t think you’d get in anywhere else?”
I started dating a nice guy and had him over for drinks at Thanksgiving, and they said, “Wow, your boyfriend went to this school? What kind of job is he planning to get with that degree?” They want you to squirm and feel insignificant so they can feel better. So, I finally came up with a devious way to stick it to them. I just started telling them what they wanted to hear.
I moved for a good job, and first thing they said last year was, “So you’re living in that neighborhood? Isn’t that a bad part of town?” I just said, “Not really, but I don’t make a lot of money, so it’s all I can afford! Oh well!” They just looked really shocked and then THEY were the uncomfortable ones. Felt so dang good. Try it out against people like this.
39. Too Old For Christmas?
We went to my dad’s side of the family for Christmas like we had done every year for the previous 17 years. I had turned 18 a few months prior. For some reason, everyone decided that I shouldn’t get a gift from anyone. So, I got nothing. I still don’t understand why. Every other one of my cousins older or younger than 18 got something from someone, and I just sat there awkwardly while everyone acted like nothing was wrong.
40. Her Prized Cake Was Pecked By Pigs
My ex-sister-in-law and her mother were invited to our family Thanksgiving at my grandma’s house. To say that she and her mother lived in filth was an understatement. Their basement was inaccessible due to the raw sewage that had filled it. The entire house was filled with garbage from floor to ceiling and infested with fleas and all other sorts of vermin.
They also had pet guinea pigs that roamed the house that would poop and pee everywhere. It was absolute filth. So, they came over and brought a dessert with them, which my grandmother was immediately suspicious of. Upon further inspection, the cake she had made was covered in guinea pig tracks and hair and had little nibbles missing from it.
My grandma immediately tossed it, and then, later, when it was time for dessert, the mother threw a fit that we weren’t serving her prized mayonnaise cake that she worked so hard on and stormed out.
41. Money Between Brothers
As a North Indian, the Diwali holiday is our most important one. Everyone is supposed to be together at home and celebrate, worship and stuff. It’s also the festival when the goddess of wealth Lakshmi is worshipped. My extended family has messed Diwali up majorly for all us cousins, because it’s a constant tussle of brothers.
They fight about power over the family business and the wealth it has collected over the years. It has gone from the celebration and worshipping of wealth to a day of fighting for said wealth. I’ve stopped going home for Diwali to just dodge this scene.
42. I Got Burned
I participated in a voluntary office Christmas exchange that had a $30 limit. The gift I received was a CD-R of the giver’s favorite album. I was less than enthused but nonetheless slid the disc into my car to check it out, only to find out that it was blank. The person had written the band name and album title on the disc…but forgot to actually burn a copy.
43. Fill In The Blanks
We were hosting a young lady my wife worked with, as well as her boyfriend. Halfway through dinner, she made a shocking confession. The discussion somehow got to how she and her brother “once got super trashed on Robitussin, and next thing you know we…uh…yeah, that was really a weird time.” Everyone just got really quiet as we were trying to decide how to fill that one in and where to go with it.
44. So Many People To Visit!
I went home last Christmas. Finished work at 8:30 PM, drove the eight-hour drive through the night, and made it. I was only going to be there for a few days, and this was during a family argument. I saw my immediate family, then went to my grandmother’s place. That night I received a text from my aunt saying that she’s angry I didn’t see her, and I was rude.
The kicker? She works a hundred meters from my Mum’s place, I didn’t know where she lived, and she never tried contacting me. When I go back now, I don’t tell anyone except the people I want to see. This year I’m working Christmas Day for some sweet, sweet bonus pay.
45. They Fed Me A Load Of Lies
One year my parents worked for months putting together this awesome art kit. It was a big toolbox filled with good scissors, glue, paint, colored pencils, glitter, and every other thing a crafty little kid could want. However, the problem was, that every time they would go upstairs to add to it, they had a running joke.
They would constantly say, “We’re going upstairs to feed your present,” or, “We need to take your present for a walk” and then they would chuckle. There was one thing they didn’t realize. On Christmas morning, instead of being a little kid who was stoked to get a huge box of art supplies, I was a little kid who was devastated that I didn’t get a puppy.
46. They Fed Me A Load Of Lies
One year my parents worked for months putting together this awesome art kit. It was a big toolbox filled with good scissors, glue, paint, colored pencils, glitter, and every other thing a crafty little kid could want. However, the problem was, that every time they would go upstairs to add to it, they had a running joke.
They would constantly say, “We’re going upstairs to feed your present,” or, “We need to take your present for a walk” and then they would chuckle. There was one thing they didn’t realize. On Christmas morning, instead of being a little kid who was stoked to get a huge box of art supplies, I was a little kid who was devastated that I didn’t get a puppy.
47. Wrapping Paper Woes
Our first daughter turned one shortly before Christmas in ‘95. At that time, my in-laws lived in a town that was approximately a two-hour drive from us. My mother-in-law asked if we’d be staying at their place on Christmas Eve, and we said, “No, it’s kind of difficult with a baby. We’ll drive out to join you on Christmas Day.”
She wasn’t happy, but she said, “Fine, but you have to be here by 10:00 a.m. That’s when we’ll be opening presents.” So, we got up bright and early on Christmas morning, gulped down breakfast, got the baby ready, and got on the road by 6:30 a.m. Driving was a bit slow due to some snow and ice, but we arrived at the in-laws’ house at 9:50 a.m.
We grinned at each other with relief. We’d done it! We entered the house, and couldn’t believe what we saw. There was torn wrapping paper everywhere. They’d all opened their gifts without us. My husband isn’t one for confrontations normally, but he couldn’t help it this time. He cornered his mother in the kitchen and asked angrily, “Why didn’t you wait for us? We got here on time!”
She said sweetly, “Oh, the kids didn’t want to wait.” Said ‘kids’ were my husband’s younger sister and brother, who were 26 and 21 at the time. To this day, I’m convinced that she decided not to wait because she was punishing us for not staying overnight on Christmas Eve. Whatever. That told us how much we mattered to her, and after a couple more similar experiences, we put our collective feet down and have been celebrating Christmas Day in our own house ever since.
48. This Gift Gave Me A Meltdown
One year, I wanted Pokémon Sapphire or Ruby so bad for Christmas that it was the only thing I had asked for. A few days before Christmas, my sister’s father came home with a GBA cartridge wrapped in wrapping paper and set it on one of the Christmas tree branches. He said, “You can’t open it until Christmas.” I was so excited. My third-grade brain assumed he had gotten what I asked for.
When Christmas Day came, I opened it immediately. There I saw Ice Age 2: The Meltdown staring at me. It was the first time I faked liking a present.
49. Let’s See How This One Racks Up
Every year we had Thanksgiving at my grandparents’ house. One year everyone was there except for one aunt. She was outside in her car, refusing to come in. It turned out she had taken out a credit card in my cousin’s name while said cousin was in the Navy. My cousin found out on the drive over while opening her mail. My aunt had racked up a $10,000+ debt for my cousin.
It seems as if that was just one of the first signs my aunt was not in her right mind anymore. That Thanksgiving was one of the last ones where our family got together like that. My uncle, aunt, and cousins never came back after that happened. They did visit again at other times, but my aunt was medicated and not like herself anymore.
50. A Really Loud Christmas
Christmas was always at my gran’s house, and we’d stay for a week or two. I think every single time we were over, my mum would absolutely lose it over something innocuous and start a screaming session. I’d either lock myself in the bathroom to get away, or one time she locked me in there with her so she could continue berating me.
The last few times ended with my mild-mannered gran screaming at my mum for “ruining Christmas again” and then my mum would actually stop screaming and end up apologizing to her. She never apologized to me, of course. I came back into contact with my gran after a couple of years and I’ll visit sometimes. She’ll tell me when my mum isn’t there so I can visit in peace.
51. My Present Totally Blows
One time when I was ten years old, my mom gave me and my brother a packet of plastic rainbow bendy straws each for Christmas. It was disappointing—but the reason for it was even worse. Apparently, she was mad at our dad for having brought us back three days late from his part of the holidays and took it out on us. Well, I made the best of it.
For the next two months, I happily took my brother’s discarded pack and proceeded to make a million rainbow flutes that I would incessantly try to learn to play. I suspect our mother lived to regret her choice since I also never cleaned any of my discarded flutes up.
52. This Thanksgiving Was Just Bananas
As a child, my grandmother would make banana pudding with homemade custard and meringue for Thanksgiving. Every year my mom and her brother would outdo themselves, trying to keep the other from getting the pudding. My uncle broke into our house one year to take it, so my grandma took to making decoy pudding and hiding the real stuff.
However, one year took the cake. My grandma refused to make the beloved pudding, so my great aunt stepped in and offered to make it. She showed up, and my mom took the entire tray of pudding from her hands. Then, she ran into my grandmother’s bedroom, screaming at my younger cousin to get her a spoon. She locked herself in my grandmother’s bedroom with every intention of eating herself sick on that banana pudding. But she got way more than she bargained for.
Unfortunately, my great aunt couldn’t cook. The result of this was that instead of smooth, creamy custard, the pudding had bits of scrambled egg yolk in it. This happens if you try to heat the custard too fast and don’t continuously stir it as it’s cooking. Only moments after locking herself in the room, my mom returned, disappointed, and ate her turkey in sullen silence.
53. Holidays Are Stressful, Okay?
My mother-in-law gets so stressed out by Christmas preparations. She thinks everything has to be exactly perfect and exactly according to family tradition, of course. A few years back she put herself in the ER with atrial fibrillation because of that stress. Christmas dinner that year was Subway and Jack in the Box around a hospital bed.
My wife and I have since figured out that, if we stonewall on Christmas itself and wander up a month early or late “just to see them,” she doesn’t shoulder nearly the same amount of anxiety, because it isn’t “Christmas” and it doesn’t have to be perfect. We can just have dinner like normal people, next to an unseasonal indoor tree that happens to still be set up and has a bunch of presents under it.
Basically, we stopped going home for the holidays to keep my mother-in-law alive.
54. My Roommate’s Half-Baked Idea
I had gotten all my three roommates little care packages with goodies I knew they liked for Christmas. It was all small stuff because I was super broke at the time. I never expected a gift back, but they were always so sweet to me, so I wanted to do something nice for them for our first Christmas together. A week before Christmas, I knocked on one of my roommate’s doors and gave this dude his little candy gift basket.
I told him Merry Christmas and that this was just a little thing I wanted to do as a thank you for being my roomie—no need to get me anything. He grumbled, “Oh, thanks, Merry Christmas,” and shuffled back into his room and shut the door. Whatever. I tried. A few hours later, I was chilling in my room, and he came in. I looked up, and he said, “Merry Christmas. I didn’t have time to get you anything, so here you go.” I really wasn’t expecting what he did next.
He dropped a potato on my bed. A big old russet potato. I’m still not even sure if it was his potato, since I had never seen the man shop for groceries during the entire time we lived together. I didn’t even have time to process what on earth had just happened before he quickly exited and went next door to his room, slamming it shut. He didn’t get any of our other roommates any presents. We never discussed the potato after that.
I ended up eating it later. It wasn’t half bad, all things considered.
55. She Tried Turning Him Into Toast
One Thanksgiving, there were about 20 or so of us all crowded into my grandma’s kitchen. My sister’s 13-year-old son was caught burying his head in his then 10-year-old sister’s lap. I don’t think they were doing anything funky. They were laughing, but I couldn’t be sure because I wasn’t really staring at them. However, knowing my nieces and nephews though, they were just acting the way kids do.
Either way, it definitely wasn’t a red flag or anything, so I didn’t pay attention to it. I did perk up, though, when I heard our sloshed, fat stepdad scream, “WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING TO YOUR SISTER?” My nephew became embarrassed and shocked because by now the room was quiet and everyone was looking at them. My stepdad then proceeded to go into a rant of, “You’re disgusting. What is wrong with you?!”
My nephew was in tears, and I was getting ready to flip myself and tell him it was Thanksgiving, so shut up and listen to what the boy was trying to say. My nephew was sputtering, trying to explain he wasn’t doing anything wrong, that he was showing her a 7 Up game. Since the table was full of food, his sister said he could just use her lap. Before I could say anything, my sister, the boy’s mother, beat me to it.
My sister was super unpredictable. She’d go from calm to “Duck! Cause that glass pepper grinder is coming for your dome” in an instant. Throwing things and hitting people with objects was her forte. Before I could open my mouth, she came flying from through the door. She was having a smoke on the all-season porch and heard everything.
I was right by the toaster because it was by the sink where I was doing dishes with my grandma. It went from bad to worse in a second. The next thing I knew, my sister grabbed the toaster, ripped it out of the outlet, which in turn pulled the microwave down from the shelf above it, which almost hit our grandma. I got myself between Grandma and my sister, who was now halfway across the room with the toaster above her head, making some animalistic screech.
My other sister and I now realized she intended to use it on my stepdad, and it could possibly cave his head in if she does it the way she normally does, so we bum-rushed her. My other sister grabbed her arms, and I wrestled the toaster out of her freakishly strong grip while getting between our stepdad and her. The toaster sister was struggling with everything she had, but the sister holding her arms was built like a linebacker, so she just held on.
Eventually, we got her outside. My stepdad and mom left in a huff, and my other sister and I stayed to comfort Grandma, who was now in a puddle of tears. We helped clean up, saw the rest of the company off, and played a round of dominos with her before helping her to bed. She was heartbroken. My sister did apologize to my grandma, and she quickly forgave and forgot, but my stepdad did not.
56. “So Kids? When?”
I dread family events simply because I’m in my 30s and still unmarried with no children. Thing is, I’m in a committed relationship, we own a house and we both have amazing credit. The two of us have two degrees and an amazing career, and we do all kinds of fun travel and events and enjoy our time together. Kids are on the docket eventually, but we aren’t in a hurry.
My family doesn’t approve. No babies? That means I’m wasting my life, letting the womb cobwebs take over. When am I going to grow up and stop wasting money on cosplay and comic con and start popping out mini versions of me? Honestly, am I the only girl above the age of 19 without kids? Then about a year ago, my aunt pulled me aside. She said something that made me burst into tears. She said I’m an inspiration to her teen girls.
Apparently, she uses my life as an example of what they can have if they work hard and are responsible. My aunt even quietly admitted her oldest is sexually active and I’m an example of someone in an adult relationship who can be responsible about birth control. I cried and thanked her for appreciating how I spend my life instead of pointing out what I’m apparently doing wrong.
57. Eccentricity Is No Excuse For This One
I had a well-to-do aunt, had a lovely house, and a pretty high-income job, but she was very eccentric. She would always ask for a Christmas list from me. So, I would send her a list for a few years, only to realize that she would get me something from the Dollar Store, wrapped in re-used wrapping paper from the previous Christmas.
When I was eight or nine, I once got cologne from the Dollar Store. One year I decided to ask for only one thing to see what happens. Boy, did that backfire. I asked for a Seattle Seahawks t-shirt. The package arrived. It was indeed a t-shirt—used Buffalo Bill’s t-shirt with some stains on the logo.
58. Picture Perfect
A few years back, my husband’s maternal uncle and his kids had come into town from very far away. This was the first time the families had seen each other in nearly ten years, so it was a big deal. My mother-in-law was working herself to the bone to make everything appear picture-perfect. The house was spotless. She had bought a bunch of fancy new plates, had a giant Christmas tree already, etc.
Unfortunately, this was also about the time my sister-in-law, who was 20 at the time, started sleeping with her moron boyfriend. Because the uncle’s daughter, who was also 20, was engaged, my mother-in-law had invited her fiance, who was also a moron, to Thanksgiving in order to show him off. She wanted everyone do adore him, but that’s not what happened.
My sister-in-law and her boyfriend were trying to sneak off to get busy before dinner even started, saying they wanted to do “Black Friday shopping,” but my mother-in-law was having none of it. Eventually, while her attention was turned to some other part of the house, my sister-in-law and her boyfriend started sneaking out into the garage to leave.
My mother-in-law caught wind of it and went running out into the garage. The door closed behind her, but the garage was completely attached to the house, so the entire rest of the family was treated to the audio of her screaming. We were surprised to hear some very choice expletives from my very conservative mother-in-law’s mouth.
Everyone inside was awkwardly trying not to look at each other and pretend we couldn’t hear this whole thing. Once they were done fighting, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law came back inside, both with their make-up all smeared from crying. My mother-in-law was red in the face from yelling, but the second she stepped through the door, she put her “perfect Thanksgiving” face right back on and proceeded to pretend as nothing at all had happened.
59. One, The Other, Neither!
My parents are divorced, and as a kid, I was lugged back and forth between the two. If I spent Thanksgiving at one parent’s home, then I had to spend Christmas at the other. As an adult, I don’t like to pick sides, so I chose neither and have come to blame the long distance and exams. Now that I’m out of university, I have a full-time job as my scapegoat.
I love both of them, but I would rather spend my time alone than worry about hurting one or the other’s feelings.
60. Grandma’s Got To Learn
My dad’s mom always favored my dad’s sister’s kids over me and my two brothers. She would always get them better gifts than us. One year, in particular, takes the cake. One of my cousins got a brand new PS2, while I got a pre-school toy. My younger brother got a talking dinosaur from the gas station, and my older brother got a used model car.
My dad was so embarrassed—so he came up with a plan. He pulled my grandma aside and said, “Please stop buying my kids Christmas gifts. They see what’s going on here. They’re not stupid. I’ll buy the gifts from now on, and we can just say they’re from you.” The following year, I got a hockey jersey, my younger brother got a PS2 with lots of games, and my older brother got some Xbox games. Thanks, “Grandma.”
61. His Plan Insured Thanksgiving Wasn’t Ruined
My cousins are a raucous bunch. One Thanksgiving, after eating and playing many rounds of dice, one of my cousins went to get more drinks and backed his truck directly into my parents’ car, smashing up the front. My cousin didn’t have any insurance, so he came back inside and told my dad he had a “plan.” I still can’t believe what he ended up doing.
They pulled my parents’ car up to the garage where a freshly slaughtered deer hung from hunting that morning. Then the troop of male cousins began smearing blood across the hood and tucking fur into the grill and headlights. My dad called his insurance company the next day, saying he hit a deer on his way home from Thanksgiving, and it ran off into the woods and couldn’t be found.
The insurance company came out, checked the situation, and approved the claim. That was the year my family committed insurance fraud on Thanksgiving.
62. Broken Promises
My mom has been terrible to my wife the entire time we have been married. She threatened not to come to our wedding unless we specifically invited certain people. She also said she was going to plan my wife’s baby shower but never did. She said she would come to our daughter’s baptism, but she didn’t. She always makes so many false promises.
The last couple times we were around, she was super friendly to me but didn’t even acknowledge my wife was in the room. She also spreads rumors about my wife when we are not around. That was the last straw. We don’t go to her place for the holidays anymore. Sorry, you don’t get to be mean to my wife and still have us come to things.
63. Christmas Computer Crush
I started loving computers at the age of seven. I used to go to our local kid’s club, learned to code early, and was addicted to everything related to them. When I was 11, my grandma called me and told me she had sent money to my parents to buy me a PC. I was so excited. All my friends could not wait to see it and play with me.
I could not sleep for days on end. Finally, Christmas Eve came. We did the gifts in the evening, so I rushed under the tree. Surprise! I got a mobile electronic organ player. My Mom told me, “It has buttons, right? Just like a computer.” That’s not even the worst part. She had taken the money my grandma sent for MY computer and bought a new washing machine. I’m still upset with her for that.
64. We All Paid The Price At This Gathering
My uncle got wasted and WENT OFF about how resentful and angry he was that my cousin married a woman whose family didn’t have a lot of money, prompting my uncle and aunt to pay for their 200+ person wedding. There were easily about a hundred of the invited guests who were colleagues of my uncle’s that he felt obligated to invite and impress to keep up appearances.
He unloaded in a world-class rant about how ripped off he felt, how he and my aunt secretly fought about every cent they spent that he didn’t think was necessary. He said that the only things he found necessary were the things that would impress his colleagues. He was angry that my cousin and his new wife hadn’t made it explicitly clear during the wedding that he had paid for it.
He was also livid that her parents both gave speeches and didn’t express that he had paid for the wedding. He was also really angry that he had paid for his own daughter’s lavish wedding and had not gotten any financial help from her husband’s family—not even a half-hearted offer. He informed them that traditionally, the groom’s family offers to pay for the drinks and that he and my aunt thought they were cheapskates for not even offering.
To make matters worse, everyone in both of those weddings was at that Thanksgiving, and it caused multiple rifts. I thought my aunt was going to seriously hurt him. It was obviously something that had been stewing for months, if not years.
65. The City And The Country
I refuse to attend any of the holiday get-togethers on my wife’s side of the family. She’s from a small town in Western Missouri named Boonville and I lived in the Saint Louis area most of my life. I guess me being a Saint Louis city slicker was just too much for her family. As my wife was introducing me to her extended family, I hear someone say, “look at him all dressed up nice and fancy, I bet you’re one of those city folk who voted for that Obama.”
Except they used much rougher language than that. I just looked at my wife like, “Please get me out of this hillbilly hole…” I’ve never gone back. Yeeeeeehaaawwww!
66. You Don’t Even Know The Hoff Of It
When I was 14 or 15, one of my Christmas presents from my parents was a Baywatch duvet cover. I had never watched Baywatch and had no interest in it, so I had no idea why they bought it for me. Not only that, but I was embarrassed to have it on my bed when my friends came around. Although Baywatch might still have been on TV, it wasn’t a cool thing for kids my age to be into.
I politely put it on my bed for a few weeks, then tossed it in the back of the wardrobe and hoped nobody would mention it again. Years later, I found out the disturbing reason why they got it for me. My dad was concerned I might turn out to be gay because I had never put up posters of women in my bedroom or anything. I was also never really interested in “manly” stuff, and all my TV crushes growing up were tomboys like Darlene from Roseanne.
So, here was this duvet cover with a group of women in swimsuits that I had now because, obviously, if I had been gay, the sight of Pamela Lee’s cleavage would sort that stuff out for me.
67. The Beginning And End Of A Family Tradition
My very conservative and kind in-laws drove three hours to have Thanksgiving dinner with my family the year my husband and I married. It was supposed to be this sweet new tradition melding our families and all that. It went so, so horribly. My youngest sister and her boyfriend arrived a couple of hours late. They were wasted and proceeded to eat a ton of food, then promptly passed out on the couch.
My in-laws watched in abject horror a little bit later as the boyfriend came to slightly, flipped them both off, and then passed out again. My in-laws haven’t visited us for holidays since.
68. Nobody Wants This
It was the last Christmas before I joined the Navy. I had about $300 to my name until January, when I would head off to boot camp. Mom told me to go to the mall with my sister and spend $200 on presents for everyone, despite my protests. I said I don’t want presents and I don’t want to get others presents because it’s a stupid tradition for a house full of working adults.
I got yelled at, spent the money on a bunch of stuff that no one wanted, and got a bunch of stuff that I didn’t want. I haven’t been home for holidays since. After that, I told my family I’m never buying anyone forced presents ever, and never want anything for Christmas or birthdays ever again.
69. Get The Drift People
My extended family used to do this thing where you would put your name on a piece of paper, put it in a hat, then draw someone out, and that’s who you would get a gift for. It was supposed to be anonymous. I got two terrible gifts in two consecutive years. The first was a DVD of The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. I’d literally never watched even a second of those movies, and I’m pretty sure the franchise was up to about number four or five at that point.
The very next year, someone got me a cheap pair of fake leather driving gloves. They were about two sizes too small. I guess not being a ‘car guy’ at all somehow convinced my uncles and aunts that I was secretly a drag racer or something. Finally, the year after that, my mom got my name. You’re supposed to put the name back if it’s immediate family, but she kept it knowing I got screwed two years running. Thankfully, she got me a Kindle Fire.
70. This Holiday Was Totally Shot
We went to visit my part of the family on Thanksgiving one year. My uncle was shooting at turtles in the creek with his Glock while drinking. He then handed 15-year-old me the piece and told me to go at the turtles. I told him, “I don’t want to shoot a turtle.” So, my uncle looked straight forward, took a swig of his drink, then a big drag on his smoke, exhaled, and punched me in the cheek.
I fell down in complete shock that he actually hit me. Then he said, with a fearsome calm, “Get. The. Darn. Turtles.” And so I did. It ended up backfiring on him, almost literally. The mechanism jammed, so I, never having really fired a pistol before, I turned like an idiot towards my uncle, and said, “Umm. What do I d-” BOOM! The thing discharged right next to my uncle’s face.
A nearby tree was not so fortunate. So, my uncle and I stared at each other for a short, awkward moment, then he reached out with both hands and took the weapon away from me. He eyed me and took another drag of his smoke. Apparently, he was using old bullets and that was just what caused the delay in firing or something. But there’s an even darker.
A couple of years ago, he got taken in for threatening to kill my aunt. He spent a year behind bars and then my dad let him live with us to get back on his feet. He filled up the computer with an astonishing amount of malware, then eventually disappeared, but not before leaving the backyard gate open and letting our dogs out into the city for the day. One of the dogs messed up her leg while out and has never walked the same since.
71. Cutting It Out
The last time I saw my extended family like my aunt or cousins for the holidays was during college. They told me I was going to burn for dating a Jew, and the men were screaming terrible language at the TV while watching football. I went to hang out with my baby cousins, who were in middle and high school, and one of them told me that she learned that white people can only get AIDS if they’re partners with people of other races.
Once my grandfather passed, I cut contact with all my extended family.
72. Victoria Should Have Kept This Secret
When I was 10, my grandma came to visit a little before Christmas time and brought my two siblings and me our own gifts. I can’t even remember what my older sister got; it was something really good, though, because she went off on her own to play with it. I distinctly recall my little brother getting the most awesome remote control toy car. It was so cool.
I was pretty bummed, as I had been trying to find a better one to replace my old one, but I tried to suck it up and be happy for him. Then we got to my present. It was small, but I didn’t mind…that is, until I opened it. It was a thong. I was 10, and my grandma got me a light baby blue thong from Victoria’s Secret. I remember it clearly.
It was one of those really little ones with just a small line to go between your cheeks, and it had a pretty small front too. Needless to say, I was pretty upset. I didn’t want to yell at her, but I was 10. What on earth was she thinking? I felt like I was going crazy. My parents got mad that I wasn’t being grateful. I ended up having to sit in my room for a while.
My grandma was pretty confused and tried to come up and comfort me; I guess she really thought it was a good present. She said I should save it for later. I felt at a complete loss, I barely even knew what that stuff was, and anything I did know about it was solely due to the internet. Years later, I dug the underwear out from the back of my drawer, and she was mortified.
73. Hit The Road Aunt!
My aunt, who had been married multiple times and was generally known to have been promiscuous, was over. She nastily told my sister she was going to meet the Devil for living with her fiancé before marriage. She berated her for a few minutes about sinning and whatnot while they were at my grandmother’s cooking. We live in the middle of nowhere, and our houses are divided by small pastures.
My sister ran home crying, and my dad jumped three fences to go kick them out of my grandmother’s house. It was quite the scene for the neighbors with all of the yelling. We took all of our turkeys across the pasture to our other aunt’s house, and they had pizza while they packed their bags to go home. They never came back for a holiday dinner.
74. Rewriting History
I went home for last Thanksgiving and got to hear my crazy stepdad’s theories on why Hitler had lived through the 20th Century and was living in Argentina. For six entire hours. Like, yeah okay, sure, that could have happened if he insists. But seriously why do we need to do this on Thanksgiving and why is it more than a 5-minute conversation?
75. Wrap Yourself In This Grandma!
My grandma used to load my cousins with gifts, while my siblings and I, not so much. Cheap after thoughts would be an understatement. Well, we are all about 17-18 years old and fed up with it. So, we decided to get revenge. We got grandma the cheapest fleece blanket from Walmart that we could find. It was $5 on sale for $3. Christmas rolled around, and we all had one present apiece from grandma. We opened them in unison.
When we realized what it was, we all burst out laughing. It was the SAME bargain fleece blanket that we got her. Everyone was wondering what the joke was. We told grandma, “Open your present!” She opened it and was CLEARLY disappointed, BUT she couldn’t say anything because she got us the same exact blankets for our presents. So we said, “Oh grandma, great minds think alike! We really are family, same wavelength!”
Needless to say, that was the last year we got presents from her. It was totally worth it.
76. Slow Motion Slapstick
My sloshed nephew was giving his much smaller and younger brother’s girlfriend a really hard time. When she left the house in tears, the younger brother stood up to the older brother. The next thing we knew, my son was saying, “Umm…I think you’d better come out back.” We found my nephew swinging roundhouse punches.
The good news was that his punches were in slow motion because he was so wasted. His younger brother was able to duck them all and then was able to get inside the reach of his brother and slap him right in the face. The older brother could not have been more surprised. It was pretty trashy but also pretty darn funny and, frankly, pretty satisfying.
77. Too Much Stuff
My husband doesn’t like to go home back east because his parents are now housing his grandmother, who spends her fixed income on all kinds of garbage. They are literally having trouble keeping the house from being overrun by useless junk due to her hoarding. His brother just got married, but the high cost of living in metro NY means they are also living at home. That place is chaos on a normal day, the holidays are just ridiculous.
78. I Bought Her Pearls And She Got Me What?
I was working a dead-end job making less than $1,600/mo, and my long-term girlfriend at the time wanted a Tiffany & Co. pearl necklace which cost over a grand. I starved myself for three months to save up for that necklace, and she was beyond ecstatic to receive it. So when it was time for my gift, she handed me a Starbucks holiday mug with a purchase receipt from 10 minutes prior. Well, that disappointment was nothing compared to what she said next.
She told me, “I didn’t want to get you a gift because being with me should be enough. But I found it in my heart to get you something small for X-mas.”
79. Turkey Day Tantrum
My sister, who was 30 at the time, threw a giant temper tantrum because my long-term girlfriend, who I lived with, was sitting in her seat. My girlfriend is currently severely disabled and wanted to sit next to me so that I could cut up her food for her. My sister got so angry because we laughed over her temper tantrum that she excused herself from the table and ate “Thanksgiving” alone in the kitchen. I’m still stunned at how self-involved she was.
80. You Don’t Like Him, Do You?
Last Christmas, I went over alone and left the boyfriend at home as he had plans with his own family. My family has never liked my boyfriend anyway, and makes a point of badmouthing him whenever he’s not around. Well, I had been staying at their house for three days and at around 9PM on Christmas day, my boyfriend texts me to tell me he left his family’s home.
I ask why and essentially his “totally reformed alcoholic” mother is actually not reformed, and she’s selling her pills to a cousin. He catches her and she told him, “Well where do you think your Christmas money came from?” He gives her the money back and leaves. He’s in tears because his mom’s a piece of garbage, and now he’s spending Christmas day alone.
So, I tell my family I’m going to leave and go spend time with him. They start losing it. Asking why he doesn’t just come over, there’s a family here he can be with. I tell them: “Because he’s not stupid. He knows you don’t like him.” That starts a whole thing dunking on me for telling him that. It all ends with my mom calling him weak for not wanting to be alone on Christmas.
I desperately don’t want to go back this year, but I have a feeling I’ll get guilted into it.
81. The Furby Fiasco
When I was eight or nine, I really wanted one of those Furbies who were really popular back in the day. Come Christmas, and my aunt was proud to give me my present, hyping me up, saying that it was something I really wanted. Then I opened it. It was a plushy Furby keychain. I don’t remember much from that moment, but I was told my face fell when I saw it.
I was raised not to complain about receiving gifts, so when she asked me if I didn’t like it, I forcefully and badly smiled, reassuring her that yes, I liked it, and I was just surprised. I even put it on my jacket zipper to prove my point. Well, the joke was on me. It turned out to be a gag, and she had, in fact, bought me a real Furby that she gifted me after. Still, the immediate disappointment was hard to hide!
82. I Finally Sent The Packer Packing
My aunt always brought several large Tupperware containers to Thanksgiving dinner. Her reasons behind this were utterly ridiculous. She would begin packing up food for herself immediately after everyone had filled their plate. If you thought you might want seconds, you had to take them the first time because there was often nothing left after she’d filled her containers.
Of course, if you did go for seconds, she would make a snide comment about how much food you were eating. I don’t recall ever seeing her sit down with a plate to eat with us. She was always in the kitchen packing up the food that she hadn’t paid for or prepared. Not only that, but her daughter, who was 28 at the time, wouldn’t speak to anyone and fed the shrimp hors d’oeuvres to the cats. They’re no longer invited.
83. The Annoying Stepfather
Our mother’s terrible husband would always, without fail, make every holiday awful. At Christmas he stood in the middle of the room with a trash bag to grab up wrappings the minute a gift was opened, and then he would vacuum under our feet to rush us out so they could leave for their weekend house. One year, he locked all the doors so the children couldn’t get back in from playing.
They’re crying, needing to go to the washroom, and we had no idea. He burnt the turkey by turning the oven up to hurry it to being done. Dang, we hated that guy.
84. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
My brother would get a pile of presents or something pretty expensive like a foosball or air hockey table. One year, I was really into Green Day and the emerging “alternative” music of the mid-90s. And my mom bought me a few CDs. I thought, “Wow! Awesome gift!” Except the CDs were Toni Braxton and Mariah Carey and something else I’ve completely forgotten. In the aftermath of the gift opening, my mom realized that she spent waaaaay more on my brother than me.
She looked at the pile my brother got and the few gifts I got, then made a big show of stomping around the house, claiming she had more for me, claiming she must have misplaced them. Never once did she find these “misplaced” gifts. And, to make it worse, my birthday is shortly after Christmas, so I would never get much for my birthday because the budget was blown on Christmas.
85. Anyone For Leftovers?
One time my roommates and I hosted a Friendsgiving. People brought drinks. In fact, they brought so many bottles that we ran out of counter space for them and started leaving them on the porch. After dinner, when people were already getting pretty tipsy, my coworker showed up with one of those huge, blue, water cooler jugs filled with home-brewed hooch that his dad had made.
It wasn’t very good, but once we all polished off the original 60 or so bottles that everyone brought, we broke into the jug. The next morning I woke up in my own bed with two of my friends. I emerged to a scene of carnage. There were people passed out on the couch and on the floor. There was one dude I had gone to high school with, and not seen in years, curled up, sleeping in a chair.
I didn’t even remember seeing him the night before. There were half-eaten pies that looked like people had taken handfuls straight out of them, crusty dishes on every surface, broken glass, bottles, stains on the floor, half-smoked joints put out in drink caps, and that darned jug STILL had a good couple of gallons of hooch left in it.
86. You Really Think That…?
The last time I was home for a large family gathering my cousins were having a loud not-so-nice discussion about homosexuals. I, earlier in the day, had a run-in with the local Quickie Mart owner and was talking about how big of a jerk he was. Although my discontent with the man had absolutely nothing to do with his race—he was of Indian descent—my family launched into hours of fun being xenophobic jerks.
I learned a few things that night. One: They think the real purpose of a turban is always to conceal something dangerous. Two: I no longer have any reason to visit home for the holidays.
87. I Gave Him His Fancy Threads, Along With The Boot
I was dating and living with a guy. For Christmas, he wanted a very fancy and very specific-looking button-up shirt. I spent a month making him the shirt and making sure that it was perfect. I also made us a lovely Christmas dinner with some fun drinks. When Christmas morning rolled around, I gave him his shirt. He tried it on and loved it!
He then proceeded to get a panicked look on his face. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a $100 from his wallet, and said, “Um…here you go. My friends are coming over today, so you have somewhere to be, right?” Basically, he was paying me to leave. But the bright side was, I knew right then and there how he actually felt about me. He was dumped before the new year arrived.
88. This Honeysuckle Sucked The Life Out Of Us
My uncle made a drink from the honeysuckle flowers in my grandma’s yard. Everyone got a taste, including the kids. All of the adults drank at least two jelly jars full of it. After a bit, the gathering broke up, and as is the way of the South, everyone made their way out to the cars to say goodbye. I saw my chance and drank a big cup full of the honeysuckle concoction…
Later that night, it kicked in. Somehow my uncle had made the most potent laxative imaginable and called it a drink. There are three bathrooms in my grandma’s house, and they were all full for around 10 hours as people emptied their lives out of their butts. Somehow it never occurred to any of the adults that I was pooping my brains out also because I had consumed more of that stuff.
89. Not The Right Gift
My parents would routinely give me “gifts” like chocolate, or some random thing I don’t need like a picture frame. Then they’d go, “Oh you’re too fat to eat it, you don’t want that chocolate, right?” Then they’d regift my “gift” to their friend’s kids. My sister who was in middle school at the time got an iPad and a year later, a MacBook.
Yea, I’d rather not go home to a place that constantly belittles me. I make sure I get my sister a good present but beyond that, I’m gone.
90. This Christmas Transformed Me
When I was ten years old, I was crazy into Transformers and He-Man. That’s all I asked for for Christmas. We were spending the holidays that year making an RV trip to Florida. The whole family was packed in the RV along with our cat. My Mom had a little tree set up in the back of the RV with presents underneath. I would stare at them, trying to figure out what each one was.
I was so pumped for Christmas and to finally get to our destination. I spent mile after mile staring at the gifts. Christmas Day finally came, and we were at a small campground in Florida. I eagerly opened presents and came to the one I was hoping to be something awesome to add to my He-man collection. I ripped open the paper, and to my surprise and horror, it wasn’t He-man.
It wasn’t Transformers either. It was SMATH. SMATH is a game, like Scrabble, but instead of words, you make mathematical equations. Just what every 10-year-old boy wants to do in his free time—math equations. I was devastated. I politely feigned excitement, but I was an empty hollow shell inside. After the disappointment with SMATH, we packed up the RV and continued to the next leg of our trip.
But the misery didn’t end there. We headed out and made a big loop out of the campgrounds but saw a small lump of something we left behind at our campsite. My Dad parked the RV and jogged back to the campsite as my brother, and I watched him. He got to the lump, and I saw him hang his head. That lump was our cat, it got out of the RV without us knowing, and we ran it over as we were leaving.
So, on the same Christmas morning that I received SMATH, instead of my He-Man, we also ran over our beloved family cat.
91. My Aunt’s Boyfriend Is The True Turkey
My aunt’s boyfriend didn’t like her being around anyone but him. So, when she had us all over for Thanksgiving, he tried his best to make her feel bad about it. He refused to carve the turkey, refused to make the potatoes, and then got mad at her when she made them. He said that she made them “wrong,” and when she called him out on it, he called her a nasty name in front of myself, my mother, my grandmother, and my step-grandfather.
92. Christmas Alarm
Last time I went home for Christmas, my stepdad told my younger brother and sister to wake him up at seven so they could begin to open presents. So of course, on Christmas morning, they both got up super early, and they waited patiently until seven like he asked them to do before waking the parents up. Unfortunately, my stepdad once again was binge drinking all night.
He was not ready to be up at seven, so he got in a screaming match with my 13-year-old sister, called her names, and pretty much set the stage for one of the most miserable family gatherings I’ve ever experienced. By the end of the day, he had done something awful to everyone, and Christmas was completely and utterly ruined.
93. Not The Model Christmas I Was Hoping For
When I was six years old, I really, really wanted an electric train set. I was like Ralphie in A Christmas Story, harping on about the BB gun that he wanted. The big day arrived, and there was a large box that looked pretty close to an electric train set in size, but my parents would dictate in which order the presents were opened, and of course, it was saved for last.
I don’t remember the other gifts, but I do remember the big electric train set-sized box, but it wasn’t an electric train set. It was a box filled with sweaters and socks. Just what a six-year-old boy wants—sweaters and socks. The worst part was that the person who the gift was from wanted to see me model the sweaters, and my parents forced me to.
Just what a six-year-old boy with his heart set on an electric train set really wants—to be disappointed AND have to model sweaters he didn’t like in the first place.
94. My Cousin Made The Day So Special
I have a crazy cousin who came to dinner after not being invited. She proceeded to yell at everyone because no one brought the “special bread” that her son liked, and now he was STARVING. Perhaps she should have brought her own Hawaiian sweet bread if that’s the only thing her spawn would eat. She then boxed up a large portion of the leftovers and left. She went unseen until the next unfortunate family function.
95. The Selfish Self-Gifter
My dad would stereotypically buy things for people that he wants. On the surface, it’s understandable, “I like XYZ thing, so it must be a good present!” But no, that’s not what I mean. It was so much worse. When I was five, he bought my siblings and me survival gear—bandaids, flashlights, MREs. The year after, he bought us a kayak, which, at least ostensibly, he could have taken us out on, but he didn’t.
Then, when my siblings and I were 8, 11, and 15, respectively, my dad bought us an electric toothbrush. No, not an electric toothbrush each. AN electric toothbrush. Which he then, promptly, reclaimed and, I believe, still uses. The following year, he bought us an on-faucet water purifier. Suffice to say, my dad and I don’t get along.
96. She Thought This Gift Was Nothing To Sneeze At
I was in my 20s, and by that point, you’re not supposed to care as much anymore, but I had worked dozens of hours of overtime at my factory job to buy my mom a custom-made birthstone ring for Christmas that year. The medication I had been taking had recently gone from prescription to over-the-counter, so my mom thought it would be great to get me a year’s supply.
So for Christmas, I got a bottle of allergy medication from Costco, while my sister got beautiful leather boots, and my brother got an Xbox. I cried all the way home.
97. The Hostess Went All Out
When I was 11 years old, my whole extended family and I went over to a mutual friend’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. It was a very large house, so for most of the night, the children played in the basement while the adults prepared the meal upstairs. Shortly after finishing dessert, someone noticed one detail that changed the night entirely.
They realized that my uncle and the hostess, who was our family friend, had disappeared up into the master bedroom. Mind you, my aunt and the hostess’s husband were both sitting downstairs. Every one of us, one by one, went to knock on the door to see what was up, but they refused to come out. I heard some strange noises from behind the door, but I was incredibly confused.
I remember my aunt crying and the husband being extremely angry, but my uncle and the hostess just didn’t come out for almost two hours. When they finally did come out, the hostess was wearing different clothes, and everyone else was incredibly upset. This was always burned into my memory, so recently, I asked my mom what actually happened that night. Her answer wasn’t at all what I was expecting.
It turns out that while we children were playing karaoke downstairs, some of the adults were drinking, and getting wasted upstairs. My uncle and the hostess had locked themselves into the bedroom to do some blow and eventually became too paranoid to come out—so they say. We still think they were getting busy up there, but who knows. All of the couples involved are still somehow happily married.
98. Playing Favorites
My husband’s stepmother gave me, a 36-year-old at the time, a kindergarten-size backpack. Then she added insult to injury. When I opened it, she said, “I actually bought that for a child a few years ago, and she hated it. So I threw it in a closet. I saw it and thought you’d like it. None of us did; we all think it’s ugly.” Wow, thanks.
That same year they gave my three children gifts totaling $15 altogether. They had the clearance stickers still on them. Meanwhile, her biological granddaughter opened up a $300 unicorn. They even made sure we knew it cost $300, and then they pointed out to everyone our clearance stickers and what great deals they were. They weren’t.
They then made my kids leave the room so the granddaughter could take pics alone with her unicorn. It was the last Christmas we visited them.
99. A Last Ditch Effort
I had been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. Things were going steadily downhill, but, as sort of a final effort, I went all out on his Christmas gift, as much as I could afford to. I found a cozy housecoat he had been eyeing, his favorite chocolates, and a new video game he talked about getting. On Christmas night, we went to his mom’s to open gifts.
However, he disappeared halfway through the evening, and I gave up trying to find him. Finally, I sent him a text saying, “We need to talk. I’m going home now. We can exchange gifts tomorrow. If you want to continue this relationship, I’m open to discussion.” I walked the 10 minutes home all by myself, alone, and went to bed. When I woke up, my heart sank.
He never came home that night. He didn’t answer my texts either. He did eventually come home TWO DAYS LATER. He handed me my “gift” without a word. It was an unwrapped, beige sweater that had a stain on the front and was at least two sizes too small. I stupidly still gave him his gift and broke up with him right that moment.
100. Left Out In The Cold
When I was about 13, like many other teenage girls, I worried about my weight. One dish my family always had for Thanksgiving was candied yams with big marshmallows on top. I opted out of eating the marshmallows. My family’s “punishment” was so disturbing I’ll never forgive them. They locked me outside on the porch, while I was only in light PJs, standing in the snow.
They enjoyed their Thanksgiving dinner in front of me because the table was right in front of the glass porch door. I was very lucky to somehow not get frostbite, but I learned that day that frostnip can be quite painful. The most crushing thing however is that my grandmother was visiting for that holiday, and she sided with my parents and saw no wrong in this.
She even joined in their later berating. This kind of punishment wasn’t abnormal but having someone witness and not care was one of the worst experiences of my life. I don’t talk to any of them anymore.
101. Make Yourself Less At Home
Asked a couple, who are friends of my BF, to watch my home for a little less than two weeks while I visited my family for Christmas. I left my home sparkling clean, fridge packed full of their favorite goodies, movie tickets, gift certificates, bottles of beer and wine, and my car to use as they pleased (since neither of them have their own car or live on their own). Upon returning home around 10:00 p.m., after 20+ hours of flights and traveling…I found a scene out of a horror movie.
The house was filthy. The floor was covered in dirt. Counters were crammed with stuff as if they pulled everything out from the cabinets and left them. Beer bottles were left empty on every surface. Pistachio nut shells were thrown on the floor and left strewn on my bedside table and bedroom dresser. And I’m just getting started…
Their dirty underwear was just left on the bathroom floor. The kitchen sink was FILLED with nearly all of my dishes, which had been used and left dirty. Most of my Tupperware was now in the fridge filled with their leftover food. My patio furniture was pulled into my bedroom and used as a game set-up with my bedroom TV moved to a different spot. Still not the worst part…
They left “love oil” on my nightstand. They somehow broke my washing machine. They threw out all of my “chemical” cleaning supplies and replaced them with “organic cleaning supplies” (aka vinegar and water). When we got into my apartment, they said, “Wow it’s so weird to have you here. It’s like this was OUR house, and now it’s yours.” Like, GIRL this was always my freaking house. How could you forget that so quickly?!
They seemed in no rush to leave. They sat in the living room and opened up some beer. I didn’t rush them out. I also did not bother to help them clean up their huge mess. I was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch while my boyfriend awkwardly made small talk and unwillingly hung out. The next morning, I finally thought it was all over—then the girlfriend sent me an insane text just to twist the knife. She says she thought it was disgusting and rude of me not to wear a bra when I fell asleep (implying that I was trying to turn her boyfriend on).
First of all, I was wearing a friggin’ bra. Also, if I didn’t want to wear a bra to go to bed, I don’t need to because I’m in my own freaking house. There are so many more things they did that irritated me. These are just a few I can remember right off the bat.