Knowing when a relationship has run its course can be challenging. There are so many feelings involved, there are intermingled finances to organize, and children to consider. Sometimes the moment you know it’s over can be because of something mundane or seemingly small, but it actually reveals so much more about what’s really going on. Check out these stories of when people knew they had to call it quits.
1. He Booked Her Dream Trip Without Her
I unexpectedly found my husband cheating on me, right in our home. To clarify, 'our home' largely meant mine, since I handled the bulk of the financial responsibilities — from the down payment to the mortgage.
In order to gather myself, I temporarily moved in with my parents, while he continued to stay at the house — a house I was still wholly funding. Given our history, we hoped to mend things, rather than abruptly end our relationship over a single slip-up.
While he was comfortably living in the home I financed, and I with my parents, he had the audacity to plan a trip to Las Vegas — a place I always dreamed of going, but he never showed interest in joining me. He assured me he'd cancel to focus on our relationship, which I naively believed, considering his past tendency for dishonesty.
Just a week before his supposed departure, he stopped communicating with me. On the day of his flight, he dropped the bomb that he was going. That very evening, I decided to make a fresh start and signed a lease for an apartment.
Upon his return, he pled for reconciliation, claiming the trip wasn't worth losing me and tried all tricks in the book to win me back. By February, the house was sold, and a year later, our divorce was finalized.
2. Only Took Him Two Weeks
He confessed to me that he'd been unfaithful. At first, he pleaded with me to remain in the relationship and try to rebuild. However, not even two weeks later, he started having doubts again. He even found time to meet with the person he had an affair with. So, there you have it.
3. When You Couldn’t Be Further Apart
So, there we were at our first, and ultimately last, session of couples therapy. During this meeting, our counselor asked how committed we were to salvaging our marriage, on a scale from 1 to 10. I confidently responded with a 10 while he gave a disheartening 0.
However, upon reflection, I discovered I didn’t actually want to fight for the relationship either. I came to understand he didn't really like me much. And living with that feeling? That's certainly not a healthy way to live.
4. Resentment Build Up
The reason was simple, but very valid—a lot of our talks ended up as disputes. He started to pull away more. It appeared as if hard feelings had really taken root.
5. Feeling Baited Into A Fight
When my partner and I decided together that a new car was outside our budget, he went ahead and purchased one just two days later, even though he knew it was something we couldn't afford.
On returning home from work that evening, I was all set to have a confrontation with him about it. Then it dawned on me, he was completely aware that his decision would upset me, but he had concluded that my anger was worth the new car.
It took several months for me to save enough to move out, but in my heart, I knew that night marked the end of our marriage.
6. Being Alone Vs. Being Lonely
There was this moment when I was driving in my car, having a conversation with myself, which was a common occurrence given how often I found myself alone. Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my now ex-husband sitting next to me.
His gambling habits had come to dominate his life so much that, on the rare occasions he was home, he was always engrossed in his phone or computer—neglecting me just like he did when he was out. This had become my norm to the point that I'd forgotten he was present with me in the car.
Caught off guard, I was a little flustered that he'd heard my solo chatter. I responded, "Oops, I didn't realize you were here". He offered no response. Pushing for acknowledgment, I called his name. Eventually, he raised his head from his phone and cautiously asked, "Did you say something?"
This incident was a stark reminder of how lonesome my life had become, save for the existence of my dog. This and several other reasons triggered our separation, but it made me understand the real difference between being alone and actually feeling lonely. Surprisingly, life got significantly better after that realization.
7. What About In Sickness And In Health?
For a few years, I wrestled with severe bouts of Crohn's disease. During a particularly horrific three-month episode, I plummeted from 190lbs to a frail 137lbs—quite alarming for a guy who's 6 feet 4 inches tall and normally weighs around 220 lbs.
Within earshot, I heard my now ex-wife harshly telling her friend, "I didn't sign up for this." She made it clear she had no interest in aiding me any longer. Worse still, if my ill health didn’t end me, she resolved to divorce me.
She would chastise me for causing a racket in the bathroom during her sleeping hours. Even though I managed to hold onto my job amidst the turmoil, thereby providing for her and our kids, she continuously berated me for being "lazy." For the record, she wasn't employed.
However, since our divorce, I've witnessed major improvements. I've not experienced any Crohn's flare-ups, I've regained my normal weight—with a bit extra—and I'm free to savor whatever food or drink I fancy, all without needing medication.
Here I am, more than 13 years later, still healthy and Crohn's-free.
8. When The Love Is Gone, It’s Gone
I attended a wedding of someone in my extended family. Seeing their deep love for each other made me realize that I didn't share the same type of affection for my husband.
We never experienced any infidelity or mistreatment. Our conflict was minimal, mainly because we rarely communicated. After arriving home, I explained to him that I wanted a divorce. His response broke me: "Yeah, okay".
Our divorce process was smooth due to the fact that we had little to divide between us. He was even kind enough to assist me with relocating my belongings to a new residence, ensuring no ill feelings remained. The truth is, we just didn't feel that love for each other.
9. Continuing A Childhood Cycle
It hit me that I was perpetuating the pain of my past. I found myself married to a man who kept his emotions locked away, as I spent over ten years trying earnestly to make him love me. I twisted myself into knots, lost sight of who I was, yet still, I kept pushing forward. All this, steaming from the fact that my parents didn't cherish me or make time for me.
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10. Sometimes Walking Away Is The Best Thing For The Kids
We had encountered issues in the past, but I persistently attempted therapy and other solutions, believing things could get better. Our little one was still quite young; not yet two. She used to have seizures, and though we'd gotten accustomed to them, each was still terrifying.
In the midst of a particularly restless night, I paced in our living room, trying to soothe her soaring temperature of 104 degrees. She seemed unusually drowsy and I was debating whether to rush her to the emergency room.
While I was in this state of worry, my ex—the father of my daughter—was yelling at me, blaming me for his life's problems and calling me terrible names. I remember posing a question to him—“How would you feel if your daughter told you her partner was treating her this way?” He dismissively replied that she’d deserve it, shrugging it off.
I can't recall what triggered his rage that night or what I supposedly did to provoke him. But vivid in my mind is carrying our youngest, the sight of my eldest daughter from a previous relationship watching us with her 11-year-old eyes from atop our staircase. That’s when I made my decision.
In my heart, I told myself I would endure through the holiday season and my daughter's birthday. But when his mean ways continued to surface, especially on days when he wasn't the center of attention, I knew I had taken the right path. Once the clock struck midnight after her birthday, I told him I wanted a divorce. From that moment, I have never looked back.
11. Being Cruel For The Sake Of It
I've never formally divorced, yet I could trace the finish line of my long-term uncoupled relationship to the moment he said, "It's a shame your parents didn't shower you with enough love as a child, because if they did, you would be amazing, and I wouldn't entertain any doubts."
That night, I immediately noted it down on my phone to make sure I wouldn't second guess his words if he tried to twist reality. And indeed, the need never arose. His voice uttering those words still echo in my mind.
Once I opened up about my early childhood experiences with my parents, he had a habit of reminding me that I was fortunate he tolerated me, despite what he perceived as my imperfections.
12. There Were Signs Everywhere
There were countless indications. He never once mentioned he didn't desire children. Not long after our first anniversary, I decided to wax my eyebrows for the first time and he kept silent for three whole days.
Any intimate moments were governed by his rules, without exception. When it came to gifting on birthdays or Christmas, he pinched pennies for me but went all out for his own needs.
The last straw was my 30th birthday. He didn't even bother with a card, let alone a gift, but had no issue splurging on a brand new truck for himself. At that point, I knew I had to leave.
13. Growing Up And Growing Apart
I never experienced a divorce, but one day, after being with my boyfriend for six years, it hit me—I just didn't love him anymore. We had started dating when we were 15, and as we grew older, we drifted apart. We were both 21 when it happened.
Though it was tough because he genuinely was my best buddy, it seemed like we had turned into roommates rather than lovers. To my surprise, he also felt the same, so the breakup, as odd as it sounds, was quite amicable.
After our split, he chased his dream and is now a successful pilot happily married to a wonderful woman. As for me, I pursued my own ambition and am now a nurse, engaged to my soulmate and a proud mom to a beautiful baby.
We both touch base every now and then. We'll probably always have some kind of connection, but we were clearly not destined to be together as partners.
14. Photographic Evidence
I found that the only time I felt truly happy was when I was in the office. I'd fallen head-over-heels for a workmate, while completely sidelining my ex, even when we were with my father.
It had gotten to the point where I hardly recalled if he was present or not. In fact, the only thing keeping me around was the fear of being labelled as someone who rushes into divorce.
As time went on, my ex would often get disgracefully intoxicated at family events, such as my dad's birthday. He even once caused a scene at my own birthday celebration and flatly refused to consider marriage therapy.
One of my colleagues noted I seemed to gravitate more towards my dad than my ex in photos featuring the three of us. While I initially shrugged it off as a rather bizarre comment, soon after, when I reviewed the photos, my disdain for my ex was apparent.
15. The Emergency Bag
Once, I had to put together a 'just-in-case' bag and leave it at a buddy's place. It was stocked with essentials like house and car spare keys, passports, identification cards, paperwork, my kids' birth certificates, change of clothes, playthings, power adapters, an additional battery pack, a covert online refillable bank card, and also some dog food.
I asked a friend of mine, who he wasn't familiar with, to safely store it at her home, you know, just in case.
16. He Can’t Even Remember His Own Words
I knew our relationship was at its end when he began invading my privacy by going through my phone. He stumbled across a series of old messages, ones that he had sent me at the start of our relationship. They were incredibly charming and sweet.
When he saw them, he became suspicious and confrontational, asking, "Who did you get these messages from? Who have you been seeing?" Here's the sad part—he despised me so much now, he couldn't even recall a time when he used to write such romantic texts to me.
He refused to accept that he was the author of these messages. It was a surreal situation. A month later, I made the decision to move on and leave.
17. There Needs To Be Empathy
He shared with me that a few months following the death of my dad and sister, which occurred within days of each other, his capacity to empathize with me dwindled.
He expressed that my sadness was overwhelming, causing him to feel the same way, which he didn't consider to be just. Ultimately, he was simply frustrated I didn't feel up to joining him on trips to local breweries while I was dealing with intense grief and PTSD.
I am now happily married to someone who has unexpectedly encountered a similar experience. Even though it's regrettable that we both are familiar with this kind of pain, it's greatly comforting to be with a partner who truly understands.
18. Figuring Out How To Move On
About a year ago, my now ex-wife started to pull away from me. It seemed she acknowledged she didn't love me anymore and began to feel our differences were too great for her happiness.
I remember a specific instance when she told me she'd be visiting her sister for the weekend, with a disclaimer that I shouldn't bother texting as she wouldn't be using her phone. That raised a red flag for me...I mean, she was typically inseparable from her cell.
Upon her return, I was thrilled to have her home, but I could discern from her behavior that she'd prefer to be anywhere else. As sad as it was, that's the moment I think I truly grasped that our marriage was on the rocks. Despite my best efforts to mend our relationship, she wasn't interested in resolving our problems.
Her distance grew, with simple physical touch becoming taboo and noise in our home seemingly an annoyance to her. Eventually, she moved out, and earlier this year we finalized our divorce.
In the wake of these events, I had some tough days where waking up seemed a burden more than a blessing. However, I believe I'm gradually healing. Now that all her belongings are removed, I'm attempting to reclaim my home as my own space. Although I still have uncertain moments and face challenging days, they're becoming less frequent than before.
19. Just The Decision To Read It Was Probably Enough
While I was cleaning out the computer's hard drive, I stumbled upon a Yahoo Messenger log file called "(her name) – Kevin." I decided to take a look.
20. It’s Never Great To Find Out From The Children
I knew it was over when his son shared with me some revelatory news—he told me how fantastic his dad's girlfriend is.
21. It Wasn’t Really About The Goats
So, out of the blue, he brought up the topic of goats. Yeah, it seems odd, doesn't it?
You see, a couple of years earlier, I had developed this passion for hobby farming and had bought some pet goats. I was totally smitten with these animals and every aspect of their care.
I was like a happy child fascinated by this newfound world of animal care. Looking back, it was like I was in pursuit of happiness while stuck in a marriage with a man who, more often than not, seemed indifferent to me.
There came a point though where he flat out told me he'd had enough goat talk. He was okay if I needed his help with tasks like putting up fences or fetching their food, but other than that, he never wanted me to mention them again.
Feeling a bit disheartened, I decided to stop discussing my passion with him. Then, a year or so later, my goats ended up in the neighbor's garden, prompting me to find them a new home. It was an upsetting thing to do, but I didn't want to add to our conflicts.
Fast forward to a year after my pet goats had found a new home, and suddenly, he began to show interest in the details about them. He wanted to know their breeds, their diet, the kind of fencing I used.
It seemed out of character, and I couldn't help but wonder why. His response? There was a new woman at work who wanted a pet goat, and he desired to talk intelligently about it with her.
Something clicked right then. Here he was, ready to dive into learning about a hobby he'd previously been disinterested in, just to impress a woman at work he barely knew. It hit me hard.
True, we'd had issues in the past where I'd caught him involved in dubious activities while away on work, but there'd been no solid proof, and overthinking had always dissuaded me from questioning our long-standing marriage.
But things changed after this conversation about goats. When I later discovered some inappropriate exchanges between the two of them, I realized I wasn't even hurt. The asking about goats had already ended my marriage in my heart.
22. JUST A Mom? Really?
When he began attempting to instruct my child to undermine me in the same way as he did, it was a blow. Despite being a full-time worker and earning $10,000 more annually than he did, I had to handle most of the chores and childcare, in addition to footing most of the bills.
In the early stages of our relationship, his behavior was nothing like this. He was excellent. However, when our child reached four or five years old, I remember a disturbing incident. In response to a question from her, I had given her an answer. As I did, he leaned in and whispered something in her ear. She then turned to me and said, "You're just a MOM. You don't even know".
Tom, we're better off without you.
23. Definitely Not A Good Sign
I realized I felt uncomfortable when his touch made my skin shudder.
24. The Lightbulb Moment
Just returning from another marathon 12-hour workday, I was welcomed by a chaotic scene. My baby's diaper was full, the house looked like a tornado hit it, the dishes were piling up in the sink, and my ex-lover was yet again lounging around on his computer.
In the midst of changing my baby's diaper, I caught myself thinking, "It will be such a relief when he goes away on his business—he's not much help. Somehow it's simpler to manage all this mess by myself, without the two of them around clamoring".
Suddenly, the realization hit me: I'M BETTER OFF DOING THIS SOLO.
While engrossed in this task, my ex strolled up from behind and playfully pinched my derriere, something he continued to do despite my expressing displeasure.
Once he was away on his business trip, I decided to research marriage therapists. We attended an initial session where I brought up my grievances concerning the constant mess, while he shared his concerns about our dwindling intimacy. Following the session, we drove back home.
On the way, he threw a question at me, "Even if we split up, we could still have a casual affair, right?"
That was the last straw! We separated within a month, and he never got intimate with me again.
After a few years of enjoying the single life, a chance encounter led to rekindling a friendship with an old companion. I fell in love with him and we got hitched. He is a loving and respectful man, and we look after each other beautifully.
25. You Have To Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First
One evening, I was startled awake by him suffering a convulsion—his blood sugar had dipped so severely that it wouldn't even reflect on the blood glucose meter.
I managed to revive him but noticed this wasn't the first time within months that he'd let his blood sugar level plummet dangerously low, refusing to use the continuous glucose monitor and other readily available devices at his disposal.
I soon understood that his disregard for managing his diabetes was taking a toll on me, pushing me to the brink of anxiety. Worse still, it threatened to spiral into severe outcomes. I came to the decision that I couldn't afford to waste another day rescuing someone who simply wouldn't make any effort to protect their own health.
26. Best Decision Ever
He chose lengthy gym workouts every evening over spending time with me and our little girls. He was the type to believe that looking after his children was solely a woman's job.
A year later, I walked out on him. I had this gut feeling he was being unfaithful. He criticized my body after childbirth, even though I regained my pre-baby body weight, and he kept belittling me for not contributing financially. It's not like I wasn't busy—I was busy raising our daughters!
Today, I earn more than double what he does, I've gained a master's degree, and I own the house of my dreams—and I did it all by myself! My girls saw the transformation and know their dad won't change.
Parting ways with that self-centered, immature guy was the best decision I've ever made.
27. Got Happy Without Him
He told me in no uncertain terms, "It's high time you grew up and quit expecting to always be happy".
The year was 2009. Fast forward to today, I am genuinely happy.
28. She Became A Roommate And A Maid
I often felt more like a housemate or housekeeper, rather than his spouse. When I couldn't take it anymore and decided to leave, that's when he tried to salvage our relationship. But it was too late. He shouldn't have waited until I was practically out the door to start paying attention. I had been expressing my feelings of being unappreciated for years now.
Though it was really painful, there was just no way to save our relationship anymore.
29. Twisting Words
He once mentioned that I may have to nudge him towards having children, just as I supposedly nudged him into getting married. However, he actually popped the question three and a half years into our relationship.
The only thing close to a "nudge" from me was expressing my desire to be his wife someday. That was one of several signs, telling me it might be time to move on.
30. The “Tone” Was Just An Excuse
When he yelled at me for not responding in the "right" way, I suddenly realized that my efforts would never be enough for him. He was unwilling to compromise or contribute to our relationship.
He was clearly unhappy, and I was nothing more than a target for his verbal and emotional attacks. He failed to see me as a person with real feelings, not just someone he could order around. His negative behaviour was truly impacting everyone around him.
I spent over a decade with him, seven of those years married, when it finally dawned on me. His shouting was nothing more than an excuse to vent his unhappiness. It didn't matter what I did or didn't do; he'd provoke an argument, only to blame the resulting fallout on me, saying, "This is your fault, not mine. You caused this".
When he asked how I was, I said "fine" in the most nonchalant voice I could muster, gazing out of the car window. At this, he began to berate me for the entire journey, accusing me of being "ungrateful and disrespectful". I had had enough.
31. The Man Didn’t Add Up
After coming back from a deployment that lasted eight months, I discovered she was five months into her pregnancy.
32. Didn’t Waste Any Time
I actually found his hidden phone right at my feet—and some pretty shocking things on it. His messages proved that he had indeed been two-timing with the workmate he previously lied to me about. I sought legal advice that very day.
33. The Letter Was Already Good To Go
In the middle of December, she informed me that she had plans to celebrate New Year's Eve with her new boyfriend, instead of being at home.
To that, I just said, "Alright, I guess I can get that letter sent now."
Puzzled, she asked which letter I was talking about. I let her know it was the one where I ended our apartment lease.
34. Selfish Even During Cancer Treatments
So, I found out I had cancer and had to undergo chemo. Meanwhile, my husband, who always said he loved me a lot, seemed to be more bothered about his meals and laundry—things I was too weak to even consider. The only thing he asked the doctor was how soon I could return to work.
Turns out, that was going to take a whole year. He didn't stop grumbling the entire time. It took me a few years to leave him because I was simply too drained.
35. I’m Sure This Would Test Even The Strongest Relationship
We gave a two-person kayak a go together.
36. Terrible Treatment That Feels Normal
The moment our marriage was over is so clear in my mind—it was when I didn't bother or shed a tear anymore whenever he would utter terrible words to me.
37. Couldn’t See A Future
It was the moment for our appointment with the money consultant, and we had to discuss our distant objectives and settle on choices. I was at a complete loss. I no longer could envision a future beside him. All I saw was darkness. Looking ahead by five years. Ten. Only darkness.
38. Just Waiting For The Kids’ To Be Independent
I'm still technically married, but I'll be divorced soon. The truth hit me when he told our kid—who had desperately asked him why he never attended their sports games—that my dad and I were purposefully excluding him.
My dad lives far away and has only had the chance to see one of my child's games over six years ago.
I have always offered open invites to him. I stopped extending them, but that's mainly because he would almost always reject my past invitations to take part in our kids' lives.
He didn't want to go to birthday parties; our child was a guest at many, yet he declined to join. He only made it to two of the six little league games our kid participated in. Although our best friends' kid was also playing, he never came to a single one of the six basketball games our kid had.
When our kid joined the swimming team, he only showed up to two of the ten swim meets, typically spanning over two days. That's only two out of roughly 15 days he could've been there. I gave up inviting him.
Instead of admitting that he just didn't want to attend, he had the nerve to blame my dad. I fell out of love long back, and now, I genuinely can't stand him.
However, my child still can't drive. Working a full-time commitment would mean I couldn't help them get to practices, games or any extra-curricular activities. Why? Because he's never once stepped in to assist. Not even once. In other words, if I couldn't take our kid to practice, they wouldn't go.
In just four months, my kid can get their learner's permit, and in a year, they can get their license. That's when I can finally leave.
39. She Was Already A Single Mom, They Just Made It Official
When I took a new job, my husband and I lived apart for a while and he wasn't around full-time. We had an understanding where he would sell his struggling business and then come live with us several months later.
We also agreed that he'd spend every weekend with us, from Friday night to Monday morning. However, this quickly got replaced with just a Sunday visit unless something else cropped up. One Sunday, a meeting kept him away but it got canceled, and he was relieved because he wasn't feeling well and welcomed the relief of not having to drive over two hours to our place.
Around the same time, I was singlehandedly looking after our neurodivergent daughter for two and a half years. We contracted covid together while he was abroad. For a week, getting out of bed was a struggle, but I couldn't just step away from my parental responsibilities. Even while being sick, I cared for our daughter.
It became painfully apparent that my sacrifices meant nothing to him. In effect, I was functioning as a single mother already. So, not long after, we officially separated.
40. The Importance Of Intimacy
The end of our relationship can be pinpointed to one occurrence—when we moved into our fourth year straight without any closeness.
41. A Scary Situation
I discovered him tampering with my meals when I was unexpectedly and puzzlingly ill! And believe me, I'm not making this up.
42. The Honey Ham Was A Symbol
Many different events pushed our relationship to the tipping point over the years, but the significant breakpoint came one night when we invited some new friends for a dinner and board games. The menu for the evening was ham and cheese sliders.
While cooking, I ran short of ham and asked my husband to quickly go and get some more. However, what he returned with was honey ham, which I'm allergic to. After being together for more than a decade, he seemed to have forgotten this crucial detail about me.
He decided to take his friend along and head back to the store for the exchange. He called me from there, wondering if he should again get the honey ham—the very same kind he'd just returned. Thankfully, his friend told him not to, reminding him that I couldn't eat it.
In that moment, it struck me that someone we had only just met seemed to care more about my wellbeing than my own husband did. It dawned on me that I no longer wanted to continue fighting to preserve a marriage with someone who seemed to care for me less than a mere acquaintance.
43. Finally Seeing The Trees And The Forest
It wasn't necessarily a specific moment of realization, but rather an incident that underlined the harsh truth – he no longer loved me and he was kind of a jerk.
My significant other of 18 years, though we were never wed, had moved out a month prior and was living with his parents under the guise of "sorting things out". When a wildfire erupted close to our home, he declined to spend the night with me, despite my fear and the fact our home was perilously close to the evacuation zone.
This incident happened after he was unfaithful. We had been attending couples therapy for a year, trying our best to mend the relationship. I admit, I perhaps should have realized things sooner, but hindsight is always 20/20. It's incredibly challenging when you're barely holding onto familiar ground. After all, we had been a couple since I was 17.
That instance when I pleaded with him to stay the night, my fear and emotions at a peak, and yet he left the property, was clear proof he didn't love me anymore. But I don't think the full impact hit me right then; it probably took a few weeks or a month of reflection.
Looking back two years later, it's clear as day. But at the time, when you're in the thick of it, you often miss the bigger picture—you can't see the wood for the trees.
44. Nothing Was Going To Change
When we discussed separating, I asked her if she had any intentions of pursuing a relationship with the man she'd been unfaithful with. I was prepared to draw up divorce papers if that's what she desired, after all, we'd still be connected through our three children.
But she insisted that wasn't what she wanted. She tried to reassure me that she had no desire to ever see him again. Instead, she wanted some time apart to figure out if we could repair our relationship. She told me she loved me deeply; that I was her one and only, and so on.
However, I soon realized our relationship was irrevocably damaged when, about six weeks later, I discovered she'd been seeing this other man behind my back. Despite having offered her my understanding and approval if she chose him, she chose to deceive me and be unfaithful once more.
This clearly showed me there was no chance for her to change; she hadn't gained any wisdom from our previous painful experience. I realized it was simply time to let go and move forward.
45. Sounds Like He’s Someone Else’s Problem Now
Just around our fifth wedding anniversary, I discovered I was expecting a baby. My husband's response, though, was shocking—he wanted an abortion.
Roughly three weeks after that, I suffered a miscarriage. Strangely, he decided to celebrate this with a party. The most ironic twist to this story was our eventual divorce, caused by him impregnating another woman.
This woman, a devout Catholic, didn't believe in abortions and insisted on marrying him to ensure the child was not born out of wedlock. Now, he's stuck in another unhappy marriage while I've been joyfully divorced for the past six years.
46. A Meddling Mother-In-Law
His mother would always say one thing when we were alone, but wouldn't hesitate to flip her tale when others were present. This left me feeling unfairly ridiculed.
Next came the unfortunate passing of his grandmother. His mother, behaving oddly, suggested that neither my parents nor I should attend the funeral.
In our tradition, a bride's first family event should be one filled with joy. As no such occasion had arisen two years into our union, his mother was insistent that the funeral should not be our first. With her insistence, we ceded and refrained from attending.
Of course, this triggered a wave of gossip among our shared acquaintances. His mother began spreading scathing tales about me being a terrible daughter-in-law and my parents being thoughtless for not attending the funeral.
Sadly, even though my ex-husband was fully aware of what had transpired, he never stood up to his mother. Instead, he suggested that if I continued causing controversy, our marital life would become untenable. To me, that felt like a veiled threat of divorce.
Knowing that people rarely utter such threats without cause, I began mentally preparing myself for an inevitable divorce. After more than a year of mental preparation, following an especially heated argument, I finally told him that I wanted a divorce.
His surprise was palpable since Indian women often bear with tumultuous in-law relationships for the rest of their lives. Rather like how we as humans are expected to breathe, it's the expectation placed upon us.
47. The Importance Of Financial Independence
Our electricity got cut off, and shockingly, he had just bought himself a new 'toy' car, barely three weeks since he'd wrecked his previous one. It was a rude awakening: I was completely in the dark about our financial problems because he always insisted on handling every financial aspect, saying that I "just stayed home and didn’t work".
Feeling the need for change, I promptly set up a bank account in my name the following day, depositing the meager $20 he'd given me for our groceries. I took up house cleaning jobs during the day while my mom took care of my kids. Six months later, I moved out.
I feel it's important to mention that I've since forgiven my ex-husband for his actions. We were both young and I wasn't exactly flawless. The whole experience helped me realize the significance of having a personal bank account, some savings for emergencies, and being actively involved in my own financial matters. Nowadays, I'm happily married again.
As for my ex-husband, he's still trying to find his bearings, but we manage to co-parent rather well together. I genuinely wish him all the best in life.
48. The Cake Smashing Has Got To Go
At my wedding, I realized it was the end. I politely requested him not to smash the cake on my face, since I didn't appreciate such jests. He vowed not to but went ahead and did it. With no napkins around, I had to resort to using the tablecloth to clean up, leading to a downright humiliating moment.
For another decade, I endured disrespect, embarrassment, and neglect, all while being manipulated into blaming myself. Yes, the signs were there from day one.
One fateful day, it hit me—I may have wasted my last ten years, but I didn't intend to allow the next decade to follow the same course. That's when I made up my mind.
49. Yeah, That Doesn’t Sound Like A Joke
I realized it was finished when I stumbled upon his text messages. What he wrote was heartbreaking. He was telling her he loved her, but that's not all—he told her I had an amazing life insurance policy, and that he was "working on it"...
50. Betrayed By The Phone Charger
Suddenly, he began acting aloof. The coldness grew with each passing day and his behaviour towards me became harsh. I couldn't understand what was going wrong and when I tried to talk, he kept his silence. He wouldn't even look my way. Nights were filled with tears as he distanced himself from our shared bed whenever I got close.
A weekend trip had me return home quite late. Our limited communication during my time away hadn't filled me in much. Since we happen to share the same phone charger in our bedroom, as I plugged my phone in, his screen blinked. My heart dropped instantly—it was a message from his intern, the married woman I had anxious feelings about him getting closer to. The text read, "I know, I wish I could have seen you longer, too".
I couldn't ignore it and shook him awake to question him. He tried to brush it off, changing the subject casually. Requesting to see their chat history, he swiftly denied, labelling it as an intrusion into his privacy.
Throughout our 14-year journey together, I have never put under scrutiny his personal stuff, never invaded his privacy until now. But he remained adamant, making it clear that I had overstepped.
In that moment, I realised that our relationship had reached a point of no return. Even then, I tried to mend things because it's in my nature and I genuinely loved him. But I shouldn't have. They are still a couple and it's been around five years. It feels unfair because they experience love, support, and success.
They have the time and means to do whatever they like. Meanwhile, I find it difficult to meet ends, to afford my meals and medicinal expenses while managing school. There are days when I am relieved that my medication induces nausea, as it helps me save on food and make my groceries last a bit longer.
51. Just Get The Woman A Burrito
After I had our child by C-section and was recovering in the hospital, he asked if I would like him to bring me some food when he visited the following day. I expressed that a burrito would be great. He clarified that he was planning to go to Panera, not a Mexican eatery.
The subsequent day, he arrived carrying a Panera bag, settled himself down, and started to enjoy his lunch right in front of me. He hadn't brought me anything, justifying it by saying, "you didn't specify what you wanted."
52. Sad Situation, But An Amazing Gift
Just as my marriage began to crumble, out came the news—I was pregnant! We had spent six years dating and seven in marriage before I even pondered the thought of us having kids. In retrospect, I probably should have been more careful with birth control a few months earlier. I thought I had the whole situation under control, but surprise!
But here's when things got thorny. Right after I gave birth, my husband excused himself. He said he had to deal with a car issue and promised to return soon. But deep down, I could sense that it was going to be the last time I would see him.
And there I was, alone in the hospital, cuddling our newborn, with no sign of him. Thank God his sister showed the kindness to drive both me and the baby back home. He didn't reappear until the baby was already nine days old.
For the record, the "baby" is no longer a baby. He's now an 18-year-old college freshman, and frankly, I couldn't envision a life without him. So, despite all the heartache, I received the best gift this life could possibly offer!
53. A Very Clearly Stated Position
Throughout our two-year relationship, my ex and I constantly disagreed because I had decided not to have children, while he was eager to start a family. However, he never took the time to grasp the practical implications of raising children.
Eventually, we broke up over this issue. During our time together, a lot happened that made me realize if I didn't end things, he would keep nagging me about it forever.
So, I suggested he look for someone prepared to have his children within two years or less, given he was 37 and feeling biological pressure. I made it clear he should have children with her, as I had no intentions of changing my decision.
54. At Least He Was Honest
During one of our therapy sessions, the therapist questioned the reason behind my unhappiness. I explained that it seemed as though I was the only one making sacrifices and compromises in our marriage while my ex-husband seemingly refused to budge on anything.
Our therapist noted the gravity of my statement, but questioned its accuracy. She then turned towards my ex-husband to get his perspective on my comments. Nonchalantly, he shrugged and admitted, "She's right. I never felt the need to give up anything and she always gave way".
The response lacked any hint of remorse or intention of change. He simply suggested the status quo would continue.
At that point, I realized I was done.
55. The Kitten Was The Right Choice
I recall once when I was nursing a kitten, right around the same time we were gearing up for our inaugural holiday getaway. Even though the kitten was sufficiently grown to be weaned, I was pretty attached to the little furball, so we decided on a pet-friendly hotel and brought her along.
My husband was lounging on the hotel bed and the kitten was soaring with playfulness. He attempted to gently place her on the floor but panicking, she dug her claws into his wrist, scratching him. His fury flared up and he flung her across the room, her small body crashing into the trash can.
This agonizing scene had me questioning if his anger would escalate similarly when dealing with future conflicts, especially with our would-be children. Throughout the trip, I couldn't ignore my growing reservations about having children with him.
There I was, on vacation, 12 excruciatingly long hours from home, and confined to a hotel room with the man I was beginning to see in a new, alarming light. The isolation was a feeling I will never forget. That moment wasn’t the initiation nor the climax of our relationship troubles, but it certainly was a turning point.
A mere six months later, after multiple attempts to salvage our relationship through couples therapy and church attendance, I packed up and moved out. As for the cat, she’s still quite an oddball, but given the choice, I’d pick her over him any day, no question about it.
Marián Šicko, PexelsSources: Reddit,
