We have many memories from our time in school. Some are positive, some are negative, and some are just plain horrifying that will haunt us to our graves. From wearing pee-soaked clothes on the wrong day of school to getting brutally rejected by their crushes, these traumatized people share their most embarrassing experiences from school.
1. Win-Win Situation
It was the first day of school and I was just starting first grade. I was in a brand new school and I didn't know anybody, so I was really scared. About halfway through the day, I had to go to the bathroom. For some reason, even though my teacher was a really nice lady, I was afraid she was going to say I couldn't go.
So I sat there and held my pee for as long as my little six-year-old bladder would allow me to, which was about three minutes probably. Eventually, I could not hold it in anymore and my biggest fear had occurred—I peed my pants. It got on the floor and went under my desk. Somehow, no one noticed that it was dripping underneath my chair, so I sat there with my wet pants for a good 20 minutes.
Eventually, the girl behind me raised her hand and I heard her say, "Hey miss, I have water under my desk". At that point, I thought I was screwed and that the teacher was going to call me out. I feared that once everyone knew what I did, I would never have any friends. But luckily, the teacher said she would take care of it later.
After the school day was over, she called me up to her desk and said, "Did you go to the bathroom in your pants?" I just started crying because I was so embarrassed. The teacher was really nice about it though and she told me that it was okay. We made an agreement from that point on that every time I got up and went to the bathroom to do my business, she would give me a Skittle. So it all worked out in the end.
2. Instructions Not Clear
In kindergarten, probably the first week or so, I asked to use the bathroom. There was someone in the girls' room, so my teacher told me to use the boys' room as it was single occupancy. When I walked in, I see this odd-looking contraption there. I thought to myself, well that's a different kind of toilet, but it looks like fun. I then let my curiosity get the best of me—I dropped my pants, hopped up onto this bad boy, and commenced taking a dump.
The only problem was that I forgot to lock the door and one of the other boys walked in. He started shouting to the class about how I went #2 in the urinal.
3. Bad Hair Day
In sixth grade, I went to the Bahamas with my parents for a winter vacation. On the beaches down there, some women walk around and try to sell things, particularly hair braiding. I decided that getting my hair braided would be kind of cool, so I did. When we got back to the States, I decided to keep my braided hair, complete with green and white beads, for my first day back at school. But there was one key detail that I failed to consider...
I am a white male. It was one of the worst decisions of my adolescent life.
4. Mind Your Business
I'm from the middle of nowhere Texas and we had barely enough kids for two classes. I remember the second-grade teachers' rooms were connected by bathrooms between them. The bathroom consisted of two toilets and no urinals. There were two connections between the room, one boys' room, and one girls' room. I don't know if this was common for small schoolhouses back in the day, but it's how our podunk school was built.
I went to drop a deuce. These washrooms didn't have locks, which was kind of weird. Unbeknownst to me, we are about to watch a movie in the other room. That was awesome, except she forgot I was in the washroom. She had the kids line up single-file to walk to the other classroom. Cue the most embarrassing moment of my life.
So pretty much what happened was, as I was doing my business, all the kids started walking through single file, pointing at me and laughing. That was traumatizing, to say the least.
5. Mouth Is Lava!
I was once chewing on a red pen and it exploded. Desperate to get rid of the disgusting taste, I ran up to the teacher. An innocent mistake turned into a chaotic ordeal in an instant. She thought it was blood and started freaking out. She called the nurse up, ignoring my attempts to explain it was just ink. I couldn't talk coherently because my mouth was filled with bitter red liquid.
With red ink and saliva dribbling out my mouth, I was desperate not to swallow it. I tried to run out of the classroom to a water fountain, and the teacher practically tackled me to stop me. She thought I had gone crazy, bit my tongue off, and was a danger to myself and the other students. No one seemed to understand that it was just red ink. Things were bad enough, but it still got worse for me.
I eventually had a mental evaluation, even after it was clear that there were no injuries and I could explain, no, really, my pen exploded.
6. All Wet
In the third grade, I peed my pants during recess. Luckily, no one immediately noticed, but there was no way I could hide my wet clothes for the rest of the school day. When recess ended, several kids, including myself, went to use the restroom before heading back to class. Obviously, I didn't need to pee anymore, but I pretended I did. That's when I carried out my master plan.
While washing my hands, I decided the best way to hide my pee-soaked shorts was to drench myself with water from the faucet. And to make myself look less ridiculous, I splashed everyone else in the washroom with water as well. I’m pretty sure I saved what little reputation I had that day.
7. Doctor, Doctor
I went on this sort of retreat with my class when I was in fifth grade. We were listening to some lectures in this tiny classroom and the teacher left for a few minutes to talk to someone outside. Obviously, all of us 20 kids started going crazy, jumping up and down, and just being kids. One of the girls decided at some point to go up to the dry-erase board and erase whatever the teacher had written there, just to be annoying.
Because it was the fifth grade and we were all super short, she had to jump up and down to reach whatever it was she was erasing. Out of nowhere, we heard a bloodcurdling scream—the girl looked down at her stomach, and it was a gnarly sight. The dry-erase board had a holder for the eraser—a metal one—and it was pretty sharp at that. The girl sliced her stomach open when she jumped up.
I just remember looking at her open stomach and I felt like throwing up. All the kids start freaking out even more while she collapsed to the floor. The teacher came back and immediately grabbed the girl, carried her outside, and called the authorities. She ended up being fine—she had to go into the ER and got a bunch of stitches.
But that was the first time I realized what was inside the human body. And it was terrifying.
8. What A Headache
I have been a stutterer for my entire life. I'm not stammering over every word, but I do stutter more than the average person. As a youngster, I also got frequent headaches. My mother eventually left a bottle of Advil in the school office for times when I developed a headache during the school day. My routine was simple: whenever a headache was coming on, I would ask to go to the office and I would be allowed to go for my Advil.
In third grade, this routine happened maybe once a week. No big deal, I always went quickly and came back as soon as I got my pill. My teacher, however, decided one day that she knew better than my mother and the school nurse. The occurrence went something like this—during a lesson, I had my head down, waiting for a good moment to ask for permission to leave the room.
The teacher notices and asked me, “Why is your head down and why aren't you participating in class?” to which I replied, “I have a headache. May I go to the office for a dose of Advil?” The teacher's response was baffling. “You know, I don't think you should go. Taking Advil is very bad for you and your kidneys and liver will fail if you keep taking it.”
The class continued, and I put my head back down. A few minutes passed and the teacher kept talking until she asked a question to the class. ”Does anyone have an answer?" She then directed her question at me. "Well, what do you think the answer is?” I started to stammer, “I d-d-d-don't know” and the teacher in an extremely condescending way responded, “Well, 'I d-d-d-don't know' is not the answer”.
I was mortified. Not only had she made me suffer through my headache, but she also mocked nine-year-old me for my stuttering in front of the whole class. Long story short, my mom flipped out the next day on the teacher and the principal, and several students ended up leaving the school for similar acts of patronization. The teacher was gone the following year.
I heard later that she had begun working with kids who had special needs or disabilities or something similar. The thought of her working with those people makes me sick.
9. Worst Save
At a sixth-grade dance, I ended up dancing with the hottest girl in school. She wanted to dance close, but being a shy kid, I decided I would keep my distance. The next day on instant messenger, she asked me why I wouldn't dance closer to her. My reply was cringeworthy to the max. To this day, I do not know why I said this, but my response was, "Because my little guy just got bigger in my pants". I never talked to her again.
10. Blew Her Away
During third grade at PE, we were doing new exercises and it came time for the sit-ups. Coach Smith paired me up with this girl I had a crush on and we were to show the class how to do a sit-up. She was to hold my legs while I did the sit-ups and count. Afterward, I was to hold her legs down while she did the sit-ups.
It was going to be awesome...but then my time came to do the sit-ups, and I messed up big time. At the fifth sit-up, I cut the biggest gas I had ever cut. The whole class laughed at me and then tried to imitate what I had done. My crush jumped back and ran away screaming. I cried. The coach ended PE class early that day.
11. Not A Happy Birthday
In third grade, I had a birthday. Now, I was a pretty excited dude. I loved attention, and birthdays were one of those days when I wanted everyone to be happy for me. I went to school acting enthusiastically as ever. Unfortunately, my teacher was feeling down. I'm not sure why because she was normally energetic and happy too; but for the first couple of hours, she was moody and snapped at the students.
This included me—I was constantly trying to answer every question while we were learning multiplication and getting them wrong. I could tell she was on her last nerve. We all began silent self-study soon after, and I had not received any praise for my birthday yet. This bothered me because every birthday student got a song and cheer at the beginning. I didn't want to miss mine.
I wanted this moment, so while we were working, I walked up to the teacher. She looked even angrier than before, and without looking up at me, she grunted, "What?" Confused, but not deterred, I boldly stated, "Just so you know, it's my birthday." Now, what I expected from this was her cheerful doting and beginning of the birthday cheer, but that wasn't my fate that day.
At that point, she looked at me with the angriest eyes I ever saw in her, and shouted, "I don’t care! Nobody cares that it’s your birthday!” This was still during silent self-study time, so the entire class looked up in fright. I strangely didn't cry—I just pouted and without a word, I returned to my desk and didn't talk for the rest of the day.
It is a pretty tame story, but it was the last time I tried to celebrate a birthday at school.
12. What A Sight
In ninth grade, our high school track coach told us to practice sprints on the school's driveway. We would start near the road and sprint its two hundred-meter lengths. While we are congregated near the road, I was waiting for my turn to go. That's when another student, a senior, ruined my life—he pulled down my pants, underwear, and all, in front of the team, all nearby traffic, and the girls' cross-country team, who were running by.
13. Life Changer
I wasn't feeling too well in math class during my freshman year of high school. I asked the teacher if I could go to the restroom because it felt like I was going to hurl. I got halfway to the restroom when I totally lost control—I threw up all over the hallway floor, in front of a class full of students. The next year in sophomore English, we had to write about a memorable experience.
One of the kids in my class wrote about seeing it happen from the classroom I threw up in front of.
14. Couldn’t Get Any Worse
For a few years growing up, I lived in a really small town, and the elementary school, middle school, and high school were all in the same building. When the high school kids had their homecoming "Spirit Week", the entire school participated. Every day of the week, students would dress up in some themed outfits. The first day was "Pajama Day."
I was six years old, in the first grade, and painfully uncool. Like, even for a first grader. Admittedly, I did it to myself. I was the teacher's aide and a total goody-two-shoes. Also, my giant bug-eye glasses only added to the list of things for which I was constantly teased. But Pajama day was going to change all that for me. I felt my zero-to-hero moment coming...or so I thought.
I had this super sweet purple onesie, complete with footies, that I thought would really push me over the edge, popularity-wise. People would see me in it and think, "Man, that chick is so cool. Purple onesies are obviously the height of fashion." This may be the time to mention that I was a chronic bed-wetter as a child.
And the thing about being a bed-wetter is, you're embarrassed and don't want anyone to know about it, even your parents, so you learn to do your own laundry really early. You hide the soiled sheets and clothes until you can inconspicuously wash them yourself. But sometimes, this leads to confusion. I woke up that day full of anxious excitement.
Suited up in my PJs, I got on the bus and rode to school. While exiting the bus, two girls in front of me make a comment about the stench of cat pee. That's when the panic started to set in. Had I grabbed from the wrong pile of clothes? Forgotten to wash? Hurriedly, I dashed to the bathroom, locked myself in a stall, removed the offending garment, and had a sniff.
What had I done? How did I not notice the overwhelming scent sooner? Should I try and wash in the sink? That won't work cause we had no air dryers. Should I call my mom for a change of clothes? No way, I don't want her to be disappointed in me. Apparently, going the whole day in pee clothes was preferable to parental judgment.
So I left the bathroom, resolved to suck it up, and toughed it out. Then, I looked around at the other students and my stomach sank. No one was wearing pajamas. It was clearly not Pajama Day, or any other day of Spirit Week, as I got the dates wrong, the entire week. And there I was, in my urine-soaked purple onesie on a regular old Monday.
15. What A Show
Growing up, I was a talented saxophone player. For most of middle school and high school, I did a lot of traveling to compete both as an individual and with groups. The summer before I started high school, I competed in an individual contest at a very large state fair. The finals were held in front of an audience of around 3,000 people, with big jumbotrons for people in the back who couldn't see that well, and it was also televised by the local CBS affiliate.
I was kind of bummed that I didn't win, but it was still fun and I got some cash out of the deal. Now, as a band geek you know you're not going to be the most popular kid in school. But I thought that, since I was this superstar sax player, I would at least be popular with the other band members. Cue up the first day of school. The first period was band.
Everyone was chatty and the freshmen were anxious about starting fresh in high school. When the bell rang, our instructor—who was in his first year as a school instructor and whom I had played with for several years around the area—wheeled in a TV cart saying he had a surprise for us, while throwing me a giant grin. He turned on the TV and we saw a video of me walking onto the state fair stage.
I start to play and I was really getting into it. I was moving and shaking, baby. It was kind of uncomfortable being in the room, but it was well received, so I thought it might score me some points. All was good. And then it happened.
The camera panned out slightly and we all saw that my pants are clearly unzipped. All the way down. Like, really obviously unzipped. It looked like someone intentionally unzipped them and then pulled them open as far as they would go. How could I not notice that? And why didn’t anyone tell me about that back then?! It got really quiet for a few seconds before everyone started laughing and coming up with nicknames.
I was sitting there beet red, being mocked by the band and dreading the thought of the next four years. I looked at the screen, deep into my own eyes, as I gave the cameraman my best sexy sax look, hip thrust, and I couldn't help but wonder if it would've been any less embarrassing if I hadn't been wearing boxers.
16. Red Alert
I was a bit of a late bloomer and had my first period on the second day of high school. It started halfway through the day and I didn't notice until I got home and had to throw away my jeans and underwear. It was that bad. I remember standing up in my last class to grab a paper from the kid in front of me too. Everyone behind me burst out laughing and I had no idea why until I got home.
I pretty much wanted to die.
I had a huge bowl cut in middle school. Like the kid from the shining, but not as long. I got my haircut the day before the first day of school and it looked pretty good. However, the next morning I woke up late and didn't have time to shower. My cowlick was out of control and was standing straight up. So I grabbed some hair gel and put quite a bit on it to keep it weighted down.
It felt crusty but I figure nobody else would notice. The problem was that the hair gel was very cheap. It was the kind that starts to break up as it dried out. While on the bus to school, a kid behind me noticed all the white flakes in my hair—that's when things got really bad for me. screamed about how much "dandruff" I had. I was terrified as all the kids gathered around to look. I tried my best to explain but those kids were brutal.
I had been identified already as the kid with bad hygiene. Later in the day, an eighth grader loudly exclaimed that I had bird poop in my hair. Thank goodness nobody else was really around. A few years ago, I found out my nickname was "Coconut Head" due to my bowl cut. I used to think my haircut was awesome. Man, middle school was terrible.
18. Unleash The Beast
It was the middle of sixth grade. I was in band as a percussionist. I will never forget this day. So, band was my last class of the day. There I was, a little drummer boy, just playing along. All of a sudden, I got that, "I have to take a massive dump" feeling. Well, my band instructor was very strict and rarely let anyone leave in the middle of a song.
So I decided that I could handle the pressure and try to hold it in with all my strength. All is going well and I was 'holding the door shut'. Then, close to the end of class, little farts start escaping and I feel the grip slipping away. The room started to smell a little bit and at one point, someone asked a question that made my heart skip a beat: "Did someone step in dog poop?" So we all checked our shoes to no avail.
Everyone had to have known where the stench was coming from. Now I was starting to freak out. The strain was getting more intense and I realized that I in fact was not holding it in. Eventually, I realized it was too late and I told the instructor I needed to use the bathroom. The bastard actually said I could not go because we were in the middle of a song.
That was not what I wanted, or needed, to hear. So I stormed out with a vengeance and unleashed the monster of all beasts. I didn't go back to class for the rest of the day. Stinkiest day of my life.
19. Bad Wingwoman
The whole thing about what you choose to wear on your first day to seal your fate was our middle school too. We had 4 elementary schools feed into one middle school starting at 6th grade. I was a skinny, nerdy, choir girl and also new to the district in 5th grade. Most of the kids already knew each other well because they attended summer camp together, but I was pretty anonymous.
Well in 5th grade, I developed a healthy crush on a popular boy named Chris. And when I crushed, I crushed hard. Names in hearts all over my binders, practicing kissing on my hand and calling my hand Chris, everything. Chris, of course, had no clue who I was, at least not until the first day of 6th grade. My best friend at the time knew of my love for him and as a joke, she betrayed me—she called me the night before school started, pretending to be him.
She was an alto, we hadn't reached puberty yet, so it was more than believable. I totally fell for it. The fake Chris confessed his love for me and said that starting tomorrow he wanted to tell everyone I was his girlfriend. I was on cloud nine. Instead of my signature bell bottom jeans and T-shirt, I chose this putrid white dress covered in bright blue and green flowers.
And I complimented it with a white jacket covered in bright pink and orange butterflies then sauntered into school in the morning. I immediately found my new boyfriend Chris, who was standing with the group of popular kids, and latched onto his arm and told him good morning with a big cheesy grin on my face. He pulled away from me like I was a leper and with a horrified look on his face asked me what was wrong with me.
My heart stopped, my face was flushed, and I was frozen in terror and embarrassment. But to be sure, I tried to quietly whisper to him, "but I thought... you wanted to tell everyone I was your girlfriend today". There was a confused, horrified look from Chris and hyena cackling from the popular girls, after which I continued, "you know, you called me last night?"
To which he responded, "I would never call you, ugh! Go away!" As I ran to the bathroom to cry my eyes out through the first block, I heard one of the popular girls say, "Ew, and what is she wearing?" followed by more laughter. And that was my most horrifying moment in school. Oh except for the day my bra padding popped out of my shirt on the bus during a field trip.
I was sitting on my knees with my arms on the seat-back and the same friend who prank-called me told everyone to look instead of quickly pulling me down and helping me out. Now that I think of it, that girl was such a nuisance.
20. Bad Hideout
We were playing some kind of variation on hide-and-seek in the nearby forest, involving a ball that you had to try and kick when the seeking person wasn't looking. I had taken refuge in a bush, perfectly close to the ball and also dense enough to obscure me from the seeker. Bear in mind that this was only second grade, so I could easily hide in something as big as a bush.
About fifteen seconds after I had made my way to the center, I start experiencing a stinging sensation. I wasn't completely sure what was going on, but the next thing I knew, I was screaming at the top of my lungs. Turns out, there was a wasps nest right where I had decided to put my head. Naturally, I was brought to the school nurse.
She had to remove three wasps that were still tangled in my long curly hair, stinging all the time. But it didn't end there. Later when I was brought back to class, I complained that I could still feel one stinging in my hair. I went back to the nurse, but she didn't see anything so I was sent back to class.
After about half an hour, I broke out into tears and insisted there was still a wasp left. This time the nurse looked closer, and sure enough, one of the bastards was still trapped in there. Needless to say, I've been pretty terrified of wasps ever since.
21. Prank Master
In seventh grade, my class had become pretty close to our History teacher, so much so that most of the class time was spent joking about current subjects and making fun of Lewis and Clark's dog named Seaman. Well one day, my friend dared me to hide under our teacher's desk while she was gone and scare her when she came back.
Thinking it was hilarious, I agreed. So after scaring her and having a good laugh, class ended and all was good for about a week or so. Then came the call to the principal's office. The principal sat me down, asked me about the incident, lectured me on the rules of harassment, and let me know that I would be facing horrible consequences once the school board hears about what I had done.
Basically telling me to at least suspect suspension, but also that expulsion was easily on the line. Walking back to class I was devastated, I had never done anything bad before and my parents were going to freak out. Once I walked into the class, I looked at my teacher and said, "Miss, it was just a joke, I was only kidding".
To which she replied with the craziest Uno-reverse ever: "So was I", then winked at the principal and the whole class started laughing. Needless to say, I learned my lesson and that teacher earned a cool place in my book after that. Crisis averted!
22. Wrong Hole
I went to a private religious middle school, which meant that we had mandatory prayers twice a day. Most of my classmates and I spaced out during that time, but we had to attend and play along. One day in eighth grade, during a 10-minute stretch of silent prayer, I noticed my friend eyeing an empty light socket on some wall-mounted strip-lighting with a metal bobby pin in his hand.
He looked at me as if to say "Should I do it?" to which I nodded vigorously. My nod was all the permission he needed because he stuck that bobby pin right in the light socket. What happened next shook us all—the light socket literally exploded. A jet of sparks shot out of the socket accompanied by a huge boom, which echoed around the room of silent students and teachers, and my friend's shirtsleeve caught fire.
The entire room was staring at my now-crying friend with burning shirtsleeves and the black light socket. Luckily he wasn't hurt, but the image of the silent room of more than a hundred kids staring at my idiot friend who had just accidentally blown up a light socket still makes me giggle.
I was in eighth grade at the time. There was this girl I had been crushing on since fifth grade. I had finally gotten up the courage to ask her out. So I planned for a couple of days and decided that giving her a note would be the best way. It was about a page long and in it, I tried to articulate why I liked her. I put down my phone number at the end as well.
I had actually mentioned that I had been crushing on her for three years. I passed it back to her in math class, because she sat right behind me. After the longest 30 seconds of my life up to that point, she started laughing. Just a little sniggering at first, because it was a sort of quiet classroom. That hurt enough, but then she went over to her friends.
The sniggering grew louder and more girls were now doing it. Soon, the whole group was in a fit. I just held back tears for the rest of the class. As soon as the bell rang, I went to the bathroom on the floor below me and cried my brains out. For some reason, I still went to the last class of the day which she was in. The laughing continued.
I was the only kid in the class not talking about it. I had my head down on my desk, thinking the day couldn't get any worse. But I was wrong...a girl who sat next to the girl I had a crush on came over and dropped me a note. I was confused, but I stupidly thought it may be an apology or something. I opened the note and it turned out that she and her friends had copied the format of my note.
They had another girl be the "author" of the note. All the words in it seemed to make me out to be a completely abhorrent creep. I threw my head back down on the table and they burst out again in that horrible laughter. I was just so hurt. I couldn't even cry anymore. And my chest started to hurt really badly. Eventually, the teacher came over to see what was wrong.
I could hardly talk so he didn't get much out of me. I went home and I couldn't sleep that night. I dreaded going to school for a long time after that. I cried myself to sleep for a few days.
24. Puke Horror
When I was about 10 years old in primary school, a new kid started in the middle of the year. Every morning, we had assemblies. Basically, they took everyone in the school and put them in a big hall for half an hour, which meant we were all standing packed pretty close together. The new kid must have been nervous, because about 15 minutes into the assembly, he caught everyone off-guard—he started to projectile vomit over everyone around him.
He vomited over the people in front of him, then tried to run out but vomited over a bunch of people on his way out as well. He must have hit about 15 or 20 people. The school descended into chaos. Everyone was trampling each other trying to get out of the room. People were running around screaming, covered in vomit. It was a Columbine of vomit.
25. Nice Save
As senior class president, I had to get up and give a welcome speech to the new freshmen class on the first day of school. Unfortunately, I was also sick and losing my voice at the time. I g0t as far as, "Hello, my name is..." when the worst happened—my voice loudly cracked in the most pubescent-sounding way. The freshmen all looked shocked and were too scared to laugh.
I panicked inside, regrouped, and said "High school is full of moments like those. Get used to it." Then I continued with the speech. Decent save, but I still hear about it from friends.
26. Repressed Memories
When I was in middle school, I think maybe in the 7th or 6th grade, I was in an orchestra class. I played the violin but wasn't feeling that great that day. Eventually in class, I realized that it was time to go to the bathroom and eject my stomach into the toilet. I hurriedly told my teacher I didn't feel good and ran to the bathroom to vomit.
I got to the bathroom, and as soon as I vomited, I was met with another horrifying surprise—the force on my stomach made me poop myself. I must have repressed what happened next because I don't remember anything after that. No one made fun of me for it, but having messed yourself in middle school with all your books in your classroom and no easy way out, I must have Gohan blacked out.
I probably tapped into some unknown powers and teleported around that school.
27. Forgotten Lunch
We had to do locker checks in 7th grade because one student had rotten lunches in her locker and there were fruit flies all over the place. I was that student. When I inspected the locker my entire class watched in horror. I pulled out each one of these bagged lunches that contained rotten sandwiches, apples, bananas, etc. It was the single most disgusting smell I have ever witnessed.
Finally, I pulled out the last bag and the bottom ripped. The substance inside was not recognizable as food, or as anything really. The slime poured out and hit the ground and the smell followed quickly. I looked behind me and I gasped as this cute girl from my class run to the nearest garbage can and throw up. For some reason, I found that to be hilarious and I started laughing.
She looked annoyed and said I was disgusting. I was red-faced for the rest of the day. It was quickly forgotten, I think.
28. Mess With Someone Your Own Size
It was the first day of 5th grade and I was the new guy. I was trying to learn the kids' names but they were all being mean, laughing and pointing at me because I was wearing a bow tie that my mom bought me. I thought it was going to establish me as "cool", but it just got me picked on. That was bad enough, but while getting a drink from the water fountain, I messed up big time—I splashed some water on my pants and some kids started pointing at me, chanting, "Pee pants! Pee pants!".
I had the last laugh though. When recess time came around, I kept all those little bastards in the classroom and made them sit quietly while I read the newspaper and drank my coffee.
29. Privacy Please!
In 9th grade, I was taking a poop in the school bathroom. I personally didn't think it was a big deal, but some ghetto kid found this extremely hilarious. His next move ticked me off—he stuck his iPod over the door and took a quick video of me sitting there pooping. He decided to go around showing all of his friends and I got made fun of a lot for it.
30. Can You Keep A Secret?
In 8th grade, I liked a boy. I’m pretty sure he liked me back due to all the flirting he was doing. I was standing with my friends after school and I admitted to one of them that I liked him. I said it was a huge secret and please, please don't tell. I should have never trusted him. My friend looks right at me and then over to him who was standing maybe 50 feet away and yells, "Hey Bobby, she likes you!"
What brats teenage girls are. He never spoke to me again.
31. Disaster Soup
My mom made the most amazing split pea soup once a year from our leftover Christmas ham dinner. She would spend all day making it, and it was our family's absolute favorite. One horrific day in 6th grade, she made me a Thermos of it to take to school for lunch. I was so excited about that soup that early in the morning, at my desk, I sneakily opened the top to get a whiff of that hammy goodness.
But boom! I dropped the whole Thermos all over myself, my desk, and like four other kids’ desks because we were in desk clumps. And guess what split pea soup looks like to 11-year-olds? Yep, vomit. Kids started screaming, "He puked! Eww!" while running out of the classroom. This moment, is literally, the most horrific moment of my childhood.
32. Sticking Out
8th grade was my first year back in public school after 3 years of homeschooling. I was extremely oblivious and awkward. I tried my hardest to blend in and not make a spectacle of myself, but I was unsuccessful because I later learned that everyone knew me as "Big Backpack Girl". That year was full of traumatizing incidents, but I think the worst one was the day some boys decided to play a cruel joke on me.
They put tacks on my chair. Somehow I didn't notice they were there for a good 2 or 3 minutes, but I was acutely aware that everyone in the class was laughing at me. I shifted my weight or something and suddenly all the tacks were sticking me in the butt. I jumped up and everyone lost it. I always thought tacks on a chair were something that only happened to cartoons.
33. Wash Off Your Sins
On the First Friday of the school year comes around during 6th grade and we had Catholic mass. I sat next to the hottest girl in my class, which I thought was a good idea at the time...But I was wrong. I immediately felt the need to go pee. When the “Our Father” prayer came around and I held her hand, I felt it happening. We finished our prayer as a wet spot formed on my pants.
Quickly coming to my senses, I ran to the bathroom. The brilliant thinking on my end was to just throw water on myself and say that the sink sprayed itself on me. I dosed myself and came back right during communion. Everyone saw my wet pants. I turned red and cried. I never lived it down till I went to a different high school 3 years later.
34. Tummy Turner
I was in third grade when the hit movie “Twister” came out in theaters. The tornado sirens went off once when I was in class and I was freaked out. To a 3rd grader who just saw that movie, the thought of being ravaged in a tornado was a very real possibility. At that point, my body betrayed me—I ended up going #2 in my pants in class because I got so scared and freaked out.
35. Head Turner
I was a freshman in high school in 1979. This was way before the time that nerds or geeks were considered to be cool. And I was a nerd, no matter how desperately I tried to not be one. I wore glasses, heavy black plastic frame with thick glass lenses, not the lightweight polycarbonate high index lenses that are available today.
I wanted cool glasses, but those were expensive. My fashion sense was shaggy hair and Goodwill clothing. I got a used, beat-up 10-speed bike that I would ride to school. Back then, no one considered taking their books to class in a knapsack or backpack. Bring a backpack to school, full of books. “God, no, man. I believe you'd get your butt kicked doin' something like that, man."
The cool guys carried their books and notebook at their side under one arm, never under two arms, because that was dorky. Never with one or both arms in front, like the girls did. We had lockers and could change out books for the next class, so it wasn't too bad. Until you had to go home, especially on a day with a lot of homework.
So I would ride my ugly 10-speed to and from school with 3-4 books and a couple of notebooks under one arm. I'd lean to one side to counter the weight of the books. I got used to it and didn't think much of it. Riding home from school meant that I would pass the track and field area first. The stadium for our high school was there too. That would soon become the place of my trauma.
So I would ride my bike across this huge, mostly empty parking lot as I passed the field on my way home. My school had lots of after-school activities. We had a small group of active cheerleaders, and a huge group of cheerleader wannabes in our "Pep squad" and "Flag twirler team". They would all practice together in the field, near the parking lot where I rode my bike.
They were pretty, but I mostly ignored them because they were out of my league you see. But this one day, they were doing a dress rehearsal. Actually, they were warming up for the rehearsal and lined up to do stretching exercises. So picture me, a shaggy-haired thick-glasses-wearing geek, on a ratty 10-speed, with a pile of books and homework under one arm, riding hands-free because I could.
And because it's actually easier when carrying so many books. I rode past this long line of pretty girls, who were all facing away from me as they stretched down and grabbed their ankles, with their ankles crossed. All of them were wearing the school uniform of short skirts and form-fitting hot pants underneath. I sort of forgot what I was doing.
I just kept pedaling, but my head was definitely turned! After a moment, a wonderful eternity, of riding this way, it occurred to me that I was riding fairly fast and that I didn't know where I was going. So reluctantly I faced forward again. And when my eyes refocused, my life flashed before my eyes—I realized that there was a telephone pole, literally six inches in front of my face.
My front tire and handlebars must have just missed it because the weight of my books kept the bike at an angle. So the pole neatly bisected my face upon impact and removed me from my bike as efficiently as Sir Ulrich von Liechtenstein. I can only reconstruct what happened during impact from stories told to me by the school nurse, and by one of my friends who was enlisted to get me home later.
Apparently, the scene was a shocking one—my glasses broke in half, and the earpieces also broke off, sending all the parts in various directions. All of my books were torn up, including one that was ripped in half. The notebooks and loose-leaf paper were scattered in the form of a wedge, with the apex ending at the telephone pole. The bicycle mostly survived.
The front wheel, after missing the pole, became bent somehow. I slowly came to, on my back, surrounded by a bunch of blurry pep-squad and flag-twirling girls. I was so embarrassed. I could tell some of the girls were doing their best to keep from laughing as they expressed their concerns. Apparently, a couple of them had run for the school nurse, who was still on campus.
They helped me by gathering up the shrapnel remains of my homework and books. I don't remember how I got to the nurse's office. To this day, I'm amazed I didn't break my nose or teeth. Everything was a bit fuzzy, both because I couldn't see, and because I couldn't really think. I heard the nurse discuss "possible concussion" with my mom on the phone, but wasn't sure.
When I was asked what happened, I think I told the truth, but I have no idea what the reaction was. After a couple of hours, the nurse decided I wasn't concussed, and let my friend take me home. The following day I stayed home and went to my doctor, who prescribed aspirin for the headache and Bactine for the road rash. I was out for another day so I could order new glasses.
Since the new glasses wouldn't come in for another two weeks, I went back to school with my wrecked glasses being held together by electrical tape and a prayer. For the rest of my freshman year and part of my sophomore year, any time I walked past a member of the pep squad or flag twirlers, I would hear giggling. Lots of giggling.
36. Fast Like Flash
In 5th grade, we had this tire swing on the playground. It was common practice for the guys to spin whoever was in it around and around as fast as they could, usually until the person flew out. On this particular day, I was the person in the tire. They were spinning and spinning and I felt myself sliding out...It was such an adrenaline rush until I felt my belt loop catch in the chain. That's when things took a turn for the worse.
I tried to get them to stop but they thought I was just joking around and spun me faster, and I ended up on my butt, belt loop torn off, but not before my pants were pulled down to my knees, taking my underwear with them. I managed to pull everything up pretty quickly, but still, as the lone girl in a group of guys, it was mortifying.
37. Take Your Meds
One day, a bus pulled into the school and everyone coming off of it was just buzzing with excitement. I saw someone I knew and asked what was going on. The truth took me by surprise—turns out, the bus had passed a woman who was jogging exposed. Not a fit shapely woman, but a large one with rolling pounds of flesh, more than two hundred pounds of woman, jogging completely exposed.
To make matters worse, she was a teacher at the junior high school. It turns out that she had gone off her meds and was somewhat out of her mind. She took the rest of the year off and maybe the next. But eventually, she did come back and teach at that same school. I tried to look for a news article as proof, but after an initial search for "town teacher jogging exposed", I decided that it probably wasn't a good idea at work.
38. Bathroom Break
We went on a field trip in middle school when I was probably 11 years old. The first half of the trip was a long hike through the desert, and it was a hot day. Halfway through the hike, I felt that I had to poop. I begged the park ranger to let me run off the trail and drop a squat but she refused. It got worse and worse until I finally just pooped myself. My misfortune didn't stop there, either.
As we continued hiking in the hot sun, it dripped out of my underwear and down my legs. It began to harden in the sun until it formed a hard crust with jagged edges. The bus to pick us up wasn't coming back until the end of the day, so I had to participate in group activities for an entire afternoon with hardened, stinky poop-pants.
I got an apology letter the next week from the park ranger. My teacher said, "would you want her to come in to apologize in front of the class?" Oh God no.
39. Saved By The Call
My worst day of school was my sophomore year of college. I woke up, like any other day, made some Cocoa Puffs, sat down, and played some Halo before my martial arts class. I then started getting my stuff together when all of a sudden, my phone started ringing. It was my brother calling, telling me not to go to class.
At first, I was befuddled. He went on to further explain that he had heard something about a shooter on campus. It seemed so unbelievable that it couldn't be true. He had no details, but he sounded serious, so I took his advice. I quickly told everyone I knew the same thing. Everyone got on their phones and shared the news with all they knew.
Still, nothing on the television, nothing on the radio, and no email from the school. Twelve whole minutes passed, and it seemed like an hour. The TV and emergency email line eventually started reporting that there was indeed a shooter on campus. I sat in disbelief for the following hours, unsure how to feel. My brother's roommate, coworker, and good friend were lost that day.
And to think I was on my way to the field house, to the parking lot at Cole Hall..,I would have been out the door in less than five minutes. One phone call stopped me from experiencing the chaos firsthand. I spent the remainder of the year looking over my shoulder in every lecture hall. I had been shaken.
Five passed that day in DeKalb. That was the worst day of school.
40. Leaving A Mark
I was in Grade 7 and I went to a Roman Catholic school because they had the best record in the area. They were very lenient when it came to religion though so it wasn't that bad. They did, however, have a statue of Jesus and Joseph in the entrance hall. We were told that this statue was very sacred to the school and that it really meant a lot to the Head.
Now, fast forward to the middle of the day. I was very nervous being the socially anxious person I am, and I hated being somewhere where I didn't know so many new people. It made me feel physically sick. Then, I managed to get myself lost. Well, that did it, I went green and was going to projectile vomit everywhere due to fear and embarrassment.
I sprinted for the toilets, then realized I had no idea where they were. So I just started running around trying to find them. It was too late, it was coming out. So I accepted fate, turned my head, and vomited. All over the statue. There are still vomit marks on it.
41. Bad Decisions
During sixth grade, my class went on a field trip on a boat that sailed down the river I live next to, which was then followed by McDonald's which was the more exciting part when you're 11 years old. That morning, I was given 20 dollars for McD's and, in a move, I will regret forever, I decided against wearing a bra.
I thought because all of mine were dirty and because I was still wearing training bras, it would not be very noticeable if I didn't wear one. After the boat part, we were all very hot and sticky. We were at a park next to the river, and the sprinklers turned on. Instinct kicked in and we all ran through the sprinklers like children will do.
I had completely forgotten that I was wearing a white shirt without a bra underneath. After getting completely soaked, my classmates were quick to notice that you could see right through my shirt. Everyone saw everything there was to see. All the girls in the class had to stand around me in a circle, while all the boys were grouped together about 20 feet away.
The group also of course included my biggest crush and his friends. In that circle, in the middle of the park, I changed into an extra shirt that someone else was lucky enough to have with her. Then we went to McDonald's, where I discovered another misfortune—my 20 dollars were gone. Nowhere to be found. I was most likely keeping it in my pocket, and it must have fallen out.
I had to convince another girl in my class to buy me something to eat, which considering what had just happened, was absolutely humiliating. This was one of the worst days of my life. This school was also full of terribly mean girls who did not let me live this down. I spent Grades 7 and 8 at a different grade school.
42. Messed Up
I vividly remember my worst moment in grade school. It was the 6th-grade party and all the parents sent their kids to school with candy, cookies, cakes, and soda. The school was celebrating the 6th graders who were graduating and leaving that year. The party was really fun, from what I can remember. My friends and I were joking around together and before you know it one of my friends dared me to do something awful.
It was the last day of school, and I was like, "Yeah I'll do it!" He handed me a full cup of Sprite and said, "Go pour it on Jordan, it'll be really funny!" So with the support of my best male friends, I took the cup and evil took over me—I confidently walked across the room to her sitting at her desk and poured the entire thing over her beautiful blonde hair.
It was not funny. At all. Nobody laughed, not even my friends. Immediately I wanted to die. It was the worst moment I can even begin to describe. What was I to do? Say sorry? Yeah right. She just looked at me and didn't say a word. I wish she would've just so I knew what she was thinking, but she didn't. The teacher rushed over and some of the other girls in class ran to the sink to get paper towels.
And nobody was about to let me help. I'm 20 years old now and I still remember this like it was yesterday.
43. Innocent Mistake
When I was in second grade, I got really into historical fiction. Little House on the Prairie, American Girl, all of that. My class that year had a planned field trip where we'd go to this park of old houses and pretend to be pioneers for the day. We had to dress up like people from the time and make butter, feed horses, and such.
So during class, the one black girl in my class, Ebony, sweet as could be, asked the teacher what she should wear. At this point, I had a great idea. Since black people at the turn of the 19th century were slaves, she should dress up like a slave and be the class slave. I raised my hand and said the most appalling thing I've ever said in my life: "Ebony should wear rags since back in those times black people were slaves."
I meant this innocently. At the time my perception of "slave" was just what a black person was. A slave was Addy from the American Girl books. They were strong noble people who made their escape. I had no clue what I had just said or the negative implications. The teacher made such a show about it. She called me intolerant in front of the entire class.
I was like 7 years old then. I was so mortified. I cried every day for months because the class made fun of me and called me the same and I didn't know what that meant. I think it's a little messed up in retrospect since I obviously meant it innocently. If I hadn't, the teacher could have used that as a teaching point and politely corrected me. Screw that teacher.
44. What Could Go Wrong?
My 7th-grade English teacher was this really awesome and laid-back guy, who pretty much let us do what we want. So I often played games with my friends while also doing research and whatnot. One day he had a sub who wasn't really paying attention, so my friends and I decide to play truth or dare. It went well at first and we have some good laughs, but then it happened.
One of my friends dared me to pick a random girl in the class, pull her hair, and yell, “Is that a wig?!” and so I do. I found some random girl, proceeded to yank off her wig, and proclaim for the whole class to hear, “Is that a wig?!” God, I'd made a huge mistake. She actually had a wig. I slowly walked back to my seat and sat down.
The girl ran away from the classroom crying. That was not a fun day.
45. It Wasn’t Me!
In 7th grade, I had basketball practice at 7:30 am. I had eaten a delicious breakfast of cereal and fruit punch Gatorade. While running down the court on a fast break, I proceeded to projectile vomit on the court. At that point, coaches were trouble to deal with, so instead of stopping because I thought I would be yelled at, I continued running. That was a really bad idea though...because I slipped and fell into my own puke.
Not only that, but someone else running behind me slipped and fell in it as well. So there we were, standing covered in my red puke and I was mortified. I bolted for the locker room as fast as I could. At which point, I passed by several 8th-grade girls on the way, who proceeded with the, "Ewww, seriously, that is so gross". So I did what any other horned-up adolescent boy would do.
I blamed it on the other guy who slipped and fell in it.
46. This Beat Is Sick
In third grade, there was a boy in my class named Michael who had a stutter. No one picked on him for it, we just let him be. One day, we were doing some worksheets and we took them to the teacher when we finished. The teacher picked up the papers and read off the names of the people who had finished. Michael finished and rushed his paper up to the teacher, saying, "A- a- and Mi- Mi- Mi-Michael."
In my head, I was thinking, "Oh, that had a neat rhythm!" and I repeated it to myself a few times in my head. "A- a- and Mi- Mi- MUH-Michael". But my innocent thoughts got me into trouble. I had repeated it out loud once by accident, without realizing it, so the whole class thought I was imitating him to make fun of him. Naturally, I got in trouble, and the teacher sent me home with a letter for my parents to sign.
I was so ashamed that I tried to forge my mom's signature, confident that I can somehow make my third-grade handwriting look like my mom's. I got busted, and surprise surprise, my parents punished me for that. More than 20 years later, I still feel bad for accidentally sounding like I was making fun of Michael. I really didn't mean it.
47. Bad News
One day, when I was in high school, the principal stuck his head into the classroom and asked for me. All the other students went, "Ohh" as I walked to the hallway because obviously, I was in a lot of trouble. Except I wasn't in trouble at all, and the reality was far worse. Somebody just wanted to let me know that my dad had passed about an hour earlier.
48. Brave Heroes
When I was in 5th grade, I witnessed the attempted kidnapping of a third grader. Our elementary school had semi-easy access to the grounds and very little supervision. So it was very easy for some predator to walk on the grounds and snatch a kid. Then, one day, someone did. Thankfully though, the bravery of three middle-aged duty teachers.
You would never think that they would really be brave enough to engage with an enemy like that, but they started running straight at this guy, full fledge. He dropped the kid and took off. They chased him off the grounds and halfway down the street before stopping. Amazing. We all watched with confusion but that’s when I realized all those talks they had about stranger danger became very real.
Anything could happen to any one of us. Any time.
49. Out Of The Closet
I was heading to history class when I heard noises in the broom closet. I got closer to the door knowing I’d be late. I opened the door since students were allowed into it and I saw the most shocking sight—my math teacher and my history teacher were inside the closet, making out. They weren't married at the time, but they are now.
50. First Heartbreak
When I was eight years old, I wrote the girl I liked a letter, telling her that I liked her because I was shy. I soon discovered that, unlike me, she wasn't shy at all! Her carefully chosen words made my heart sink—she shouted out to everyone that I liked her, laughed at me, and tore up the letter. Screw you, Joanne.