Getting back at someone who deserves to be put in their place might be the most satisfying feeling ever. Seeking revenge is often frowned upon, but as the stories below prove, in some cases it is the only option:
1. Standing Up
My brother was a massive monster to me growing up. We moved to a new town and I made friends while he fell into addiction. He also tried to keep doing the awful older brother thing. Finally, one night at dinner when he was laughing at me because of something nerdy I said, I just replied "I don't care what you think of me. I have friends”.
The snide look on his face just dropped. I know it sounds like a small thing, but it was a turning point in our relationship, and was extremely satisfying.
2. The Mean Girl
I grew up in a small town. We had one girl everyone thought was "the prettiest girl in the whole wide school"—but she had a serious dark side. She was a mean, petty girl. Truly awful. For example, my cat passed when I was in 5th grade. She sat behind me muttering about how funny it was that my cat was gone, that he was a stupid cat, that he wasn’t here anymore because my mom was too poor to take him to the vet, and urging me to cry.
"Are you gonna cry? Are you gonna cry about it? Like a big baby? Big baby cry over your stupid cat? Everyone's gonna see you cry. You're about to cry aren't you". And so on. This wasn't even the meanest thing she did. And she was mean to everyone. One day in 6th grade, I'd had enough. She didn't even do anything truly awful I just decided to do something about her.
I took one of my mom's little index cards and meticulously wrote "I STUFF MY BRA" in big bold letters. I stuffed that and a little gold safety pin in my jacket pocket. The next day I carefully affixed this to the back of her pink Members Only jacket just before the first bell rang. She walked around with this note on all day, confused as to why people were laughing at her.
She screamed and screamed when she found it. And she cried. Everyone saw her cry.
3. Screwy Louie
Our boss was some random guy who had a problem with making unwanted advances. He even asked me if I knew where he could find a "good woman" who would do whatever he was into. One evening, he made the mistake of leaving his email open after he'd thrown me and my supervisor under the bus over something we had nothing to do with. I had a chance to get back at him big time—and I took it.
Turns out, this guy was cheating on his wife. We found the emails, forwarded them to the wife, and he went nuts trying to fix it all. Screw that guy. He got fired a few weeks later.
4. Annoying Little Kid...
There was a kid five years or so younger than me who insisted, out of the blue, on trying to trip me, humiliate me, and so on. I was a lot bigger than him. This had gone on for months, and I never responded beyond telling him to stop. And then one day he and I were alone in the locker room when he started picking on me. I grabbed him, lifted him off his feet, and slammed him into the wall behind him.
I told him that unless he stopped immediately, he wasn't going to like what happened next time. He said OK and never bothered me again.
5. Lay Back And Watch It Happen
My ex-wife left me for another guy. This guy was average looking but made good money. Six years later, she has 5 kids, got fat, is broke and calls me complaining about how much she can't stand him or her new life.
The best thing about this "revenge"...I didn't have to do a thing.
6. Super Sale
I posted an ad on Craigslist for an insanely good deal for a 42" Plasma. I left my co-worker's office number, cell number, and email as ways to get in touch. Lather, rinse, repeat.
7. She Doesn’t Mess Around
In elementary and middle school, I would sometimes get fed up and grapple with people who messed with me. I never threw a punch, but I’d just wrestle and pin them down to make a point. By the time I entered high school, I had developed a piercing glare that kept people from getting close. My older sister, on the other hand...
One time she caught the class ruffian from my grade harassing my best friend after school, so she slugged him in the face and broke his nose before dragging his bleeding butt into the principal's office. Obviously, they weren't happy with her methods, so she was suspended for a day or two, but that kid was a known troublemaker and that was the last straw to getting him expelled.
8. Revenge Of The Nerd
Years back I was a manager of a tech support department for an ISP. The company had two call centers plus a data center. I had to manage all personnel, so we used AIM (I know, I'm old) to communicate between buildings.
This new CEO comes in and decides he needs to eliminate all chat clients because "people can use them for non-work purposes”. In case you didn’t already know, he had no IT background whatsoever. When I heard his “solution,” I nearly burst out laughing. His idea? Just use the phone!
Never mind that when I'm being messaged by a subordinate, they are already ON the phone with the client. Can we just create work-only handles? No. He says he'll have our developers build an internal chat client "at some point". This never happens.
So, since I'm also admin on the mail server, I start reading this fool’s email. And wouldn't you know, he has been spending the vast majority of his time emailing back and forth with his girlfriend in Colorado.
Even sending, er, “pictures,” back and forth, quite a few taken in his office. I printed the whole load of them out (it took about a ream of paper) and handed them to the company owner. Dude was fired the next day.
The moral of the story is, if you're going to mess with the admins, you better make sure you’ve got a clean bill of health.
9. Balancing The Scales
When I was 15, I worked at a cafe in Sydney. The place had poor business practices and was generally very dirty and poorly managed. I was being paid below minimum wage, but I only realized this after I quit. I sent an email to my boss specifying a dollar amount that he owed me, to which he responded by saying that he paid me correctly.
Long story short, I got the workplace ombudsman involved. Not only did my boss have to pay me the money he owed me, but he also had to give the other employees what they were owed. But that's not even the best part—shortly after that, he had to sell the business because while the ombudsman was there, he noticed the uncleanliness and sent in a health inspector.
10. How You’re Supposed To Do It
My friend was teased constantly by this kid at school. And even though we told teachers and the principal about it, it was just blown off as "oh he was just playing" or at worst the kid had to give some insincere apology. One day my friend had enough and punched the kid, and all the adults wanted to step in going "Why did you do that", "you're not supposed to solve your problems with violence", and "you should have come to us first".
In the end, they both got a week's suspension because of it.
11. I’ve Got Your Back, Bro
I used to live with a buddy who was dating this girl none of our guy friends got along with. She was insecure, super prissy, and clingy all at the same time. The final straw was when she started “inviting” herself to guys’ night and then complaining that all we did was drink and play video games.
So fast forward to them getting engaged. She practically lived at the house now and it was high time I got a different abode. So, as my parting shot, I gifted my buddy four years of a bunch girlie mags. I think it cost me a grand total of $54, I got some deal.
Worth every penny. My buddy gets to see beautiful women and she gets volcanically mad every time they arrive. And since the bill comes to me, all I have to do is renew it. Sweet, sweet justice.
12. The Critter Cam
I had been working for about six months as a second-tier support technician for a fairly large corporation, supporting both Mac and PC users. The support team I was on consisted of a hillbilly imbecile—we’ll call him Keith—and a bitter, middle-aged grumpy jerk—we’ll call him Bill. I sat in a cube and Bill’s cube was opposite the wall I faced.
Across the aisle was Keith, who always spoke as if he was at a rock concert. In other words, I could hear him through concrete walls. Bill hated me with a passion because I took half of his responsibilities as well as the role of "Mac Technician" to help the creative team stay productive. He had argued that we didn't need the creative team in the first place.
Keith hated me because he spouted socio-political hate speech all the time and I called him out on it every...single...time. The guy could not STAND to be wrong, even when presented with mountains of evidence proving it. This is where it gets good. For about three weeks, someone had been moving stuff around on my desk.
At first, I thought it was one of the interns playing a prank. But I figured out it couldn't have been them because we would go to lunch together and my stuff would be moved. So, that means it was either Keith, Bill, or a ghost. One day, I went to lunch and came up with a brilliant idea: I could turn on the photo booth on my MacBook!
I stuffed my laptop in the corner facing the doorway of my cube and off I went. It took a couple of days, but I finally caught BOTH Keith and Bill rifling through my stuff, moving stuff around on my desk. AND I caught them talking about me behind my back to each other while they did it.
Now, I'm not a violent person, nor am I someone that would react irresponsibly toward this event—but this made me FURIOUS! I compiled the data into a single movie on my MacBook, slapped it on a DVD, and then walked on over to HR. The human resources guy was taken aback by the footage I was able to get. He had never seen someone come in with actual video evidence of their complaint regarding another co-worker.
Fast forward a few months: Keith left the company because he got denied a managerial position and Bill was still working the same cruddy position he had before, except now he had a strike on his record for harassing a fellow employee. I left the company shortly after Keith to finish my bachelor's. Now, I have a cushy engineer position with a small, yet awesome software company.
13. Claws Like A Cat
A new kid moved to town, started stuff with everyone, then he got to me. We were fighting and I easily knocked him down and was like “ok, this is enough” and started to walk only for him to get me from behind and then claw my neck. Needless to say, I lost it and beat the heck out of him. He and his mom tried to get me in trouble, but I had a trick up my sleeve. As soon as I showed my neck, I walked scot-free while he got suspended for a week.
He didn't learn his lesson and tried to go after one of my friends after.
14. Monster-In-Laws Get Monster Punishments
My mother-in-law is the worst person in the world. When my wife was pregnant, all three of us had to share a house; her mom because she's worthless and got kicked out of her last place, and my wife and I because we were trying to save some money.
The things this old woman did, oh my God. She tried splitting my wife and I up on numerous occasions. She would tell everyone that I was mistreating the both of them. She would stomp around late at night on the main floor to wake us up; we lived in the basement. Then it got much worse.
Once our son was born, she seemed to reach her final form/ Often, when we would have dinner, we would leave the plates in the sink for an hour or two and do them when our boy went to bed. She would stack our dirty dishes and take them downstairs and leave them in front of the door.
Play her horrible Ukrainian polka music late at night. Loudly. Constantly make fun of us, and me in particular, about how we were raising our son. She would usually get home before me, so she would hide my mail.
She’d also send threatening letters to my parents. I didn't find out about this until a couple months ago. I found a handwritten note from her to my wife recently and it's the same as the letters. We moved out of there before my boy turned one, so I doubt he remembers this, but my wife told me that she caught her mom telling him that his dad is an idiot.
Of all the things she's done, that was the worst, and I can't forgive her for it. Being new parents and all, the first year of my child's life should have been a wonderful experience. He'll only be a baby once, and we should have been able to enjoy the wonderful world with him.
But with my mother-in-law, we constantly had to worry about what craziness she would do, and she ruined that first year for us. I look back at those times, and I can't really remember witnessing my boy growing. I can just recall her garbage and I hate her for it. However, I had just the plan for payback.
When we moved out, I took a couple days off work to deal with it. At the end of it all, we had left a few small things behind that I could pick up in my car. My mother-in-law had also left a box of things for my wife to take that I was supposed to get.
So early afternoon of the last day, I go over there and notice she's at work. I can go freely throughout the house. I check all the rooms to make sure I had grabbed everything, and then I come to her bathroom.
I see her toothbrush sitting on the counter. I had an idea. I had been working hard all day moving, and was pretty sweaty. So I figured I'd clean myself with her toothbrush. I scrub every inch. Everywhere. It felt amazing.
I leave it in the same spot that I found it and go home. I never told a soul and she never said anything about it. But I know she used it afterward.
15. Don’t Overstay Your Welcome
I was working as one of two laundry people in a hotel. The other laundry person had just quit, and I was training a new guy who was not capable of working the job, let alone holding an intelligent conversation. I had just received another job offer and asked for the hotel to match the salary of the new job to keep me on.
The manager not only refused my raise but then asked me to work on my only day off so she wouldn't have to come in and train. I put in my two weeks' notice and grudgingly told her I would work the extra shift. Worst decision ever. At this particular hotel, there was a guest who stayed there each month, and we called him “the food man" because he refused to use anything but the sheets and towels in the room to wipe the mess off his butt.
So, every night he stayed there, he covered two sheets, four towels, and two to four hand towels and washcloths in his mess. I have no idea why the hotel management let him stay there but they were always the worst days of work. The day before the shift I had covered, the manager came and told me, “Prepare yourself for tomorrow, the food man is staying here tonight”.
That was pretty much the last straw. I finished the day, and then just didn't set my alarm. The manager got called in and ended up working a nearly 11-hour shift with the most annoying trainee ever. I feel a bit bad for sticking it to the trainee, but there is always collateral damage.
16. Out Of The Fry Pan
I was working at my university in the Division of Student Life as a GA, and had worked myself into a great position where people trusted me and relied on my advice. One night at a big party at a local university bar, I had the craving for a smoke. I asked this group of girls if they had one, and being one to not bum straight up, I offered a coupon I had for free McDonald's fries if someone would give me one.
One of the cuter girls there with a pink stripe in her hair said yes, pulled out her cigs, and I gave her the coupon. She then put her cigs back in her pocket and told me to "get out" after taking my fry coupon. I was furious at this point and tried reasoning with her. She then called over a couple of guy friends and said that I was falsely accusing her of taking from me, and her friends all backed her up.
She looked me in the eyes and said "you shouldn't be so trusting". Fast forward to Monday—we had job interviews for the division and I happened to be passing through replacing a computer. I also happened to see the same pink-stripe-in-hair individual that had taken the McDonald's coupon from me the week before in line.
I went to the person conducting the interviews and told him that she was a thief and a liar. On my way out, I smiled and waved. She didn't recognize me. She didn't get the job, and the interviewer thanked me for my contribution to the interview process.
17. We Are Never Getting Back Together
My girlfriend and I moved to her hometown with my then two-year-old son, and we were staying with her parents while we saved up to get a place. Well, the week before Christmas she decided she didn’t want to be with me anymore.
She called me at work saying, "Come get your son, I've already packed your stuff”. I arrived there to a heartbreaking sight. I find my son in his PJs on the porch with no coat, standing next to our things while she was inside with her family and new boyfriend.
We took a bus back home and stayed with my parents. As I was unpacking my stuff, I found a customized T-shirt of hers that she mistakenly packed with my stuff. It was a screened T-shirt with a picture of her little sister who had passed at eight years old the previous year, and it was the last Christmas present she had gotten from her.
When I saw it, I took my laptop outside, set it on a stool in front of the burn barrel in the back yard, and proceeded to Skype call my ex. She answered with, "Before you say anything, I am so sorry for wh...HEY HOW DID YOU GET THAT!" as I started to douse lighter fluid on the shirt, and then proceeded to light it and throw it in the burn barrel before her horrified eyes.
18. Sharing Is Caring
In my freshman year of college, I had the biggest jerk roommate ever. He was a whiny, lazy jerk who wore my clothes and stretched them out, scratched all my CDs, lounged on my bed, used my computer, ate my food, etc. He decided that he was dropping out after about a month, so he didn't care about anything or anyone.
We had a suite with no other suitemates, so we had a bathroom and shower to ourselves. I knew my supplies of everything were dwindling faster than I could use them. Deodorant, printer ink, shampoo, etc. I knew he was using my stuff instead of buying his own. So, I decided to teach him a lesson. I discretely purchased and hid a new supply of said toiletries.
Then, I went to work on my old toiletries. I peed in his bottle of shampoo, and mine because I knew he was using it. I popped the top off my cologne and peed in it. He used Old Spice, so I peed in that too. I wiped my butt with my deodorant, and his, then put the caps back on. Basically, if I could pee in it or on it, I did.
All the while, I had my own supply of everything hidden in my room or I'd shower at my girlfriend's place. I hated that guy so bad but by the end of it all, I took some solace in knowing that he'd been washing his hair with my pee for about the last three weeks of his time there.
19. Not The Beard!
I had a dude in school that was a real jerk to everyone except his "crew”, which consisted of people with intelligence rivaling wet rocks. I started growing a beard in high school, and he happened to be in front of me in line for food. He turned to me and said "I'm gonna touch your beard". and he reached for it. I responded with, "no, you won't". He didn't listen.
I smacked him the moment he touched me, and he started crying in front of a bunch of people. I didn't hear about him messing with anyone since.
20. A Kentucky Showdown
This happened 20 years ago. My girlfriend is Japanese and had moved back home. I went to visit her in Japan, my first time there. We were doing the long-distance thing.
She had taken a job as a translator working for the city where she lived. She was new at work and the tradition in Japan is to take new employees out to drink, usually within a month or two of their starting the job.
I was staying in her parents’ house, so one day she explains that she will have to go to this new employee drinking event and will be home quite late, don't wait up, have dinner with the folks etc.
I'm eating with her parents, knocking back drinks with pops when my girlfriend appears at the table, kind of swaying. She says her bosses heard about her “friend” and they want to meet me. Whatever. We get in a cab, and on the way to this thing everything begins to change for the worse. She explains to me that I am going to see something of Japan that foreigners don't see, but to stay cool and no matter what happens she can handle it, just stay cool. Cue the foreboding music
We arrive at a sleazy karaoke bar and it turns out that she works for the local city council. The mayor and the city council are all there for this party. My girlfriend is the only woman, and there are maybe ten or twelve men much older than either of us.
The city council and the mayor are totally gone at this point and treating my girlfriend like a piece of meat. They would make her sit in their laps, or make her get on stage and sing a duet while drooling on her.
Needless to say I am very unhappy, but I promised to stay cool and well, it's the city council. I sit there all steamed, trying to decide who to hit first. There is a council member a bit younger and more sober who looks over and with my girlfriend translating asks me what is my problem? Revenge enters my mind, a clear glowing pathway to revenge.
With my girlfriend translating, I explain that I'm from Kentucky, and in Kentucky we drink bottles of Jack, and there’s none in sight here. All these dorks immediately hear the word “Jack” and start kind of chanting this, they want to act so cool.
The mayor says something to somebody, and a bottle of Jack shows up with 12 or so glasses. The waiter pours one, and before anybody can move or say anything I grab it and slam the glass back on the tray. Then I just look around the room.
Every guy, in every country, everywhere in the world knows this challenge. This needs no translation. I made all those guys take drink after drink. No toasts, no clinking glasses, just, you think you are cool, well, let’s go boys.
I realized really quick that half of them were faking drinking it pouring the shot in potted plants or wherever. Probably they’d been faking all night to “excuse” their behavior. At that point I realized, I broke that party up in five minutes straight.
I saw the whole crew several days later at a festival. They spotted me in a crowd, but they didn't wave, and neither did I. And yeah, I married her, best thing I ever did.
21. A Taste Of Your Own Medicine
I worked at a cruddy hostel for an abusive boss in a place infested with bed bugs. He asked me to do an overnight shift on Christmas eve the day before. So, I agreed and never showed up to work again. His reaction was epic—he left me like 50 angry voicemails telling me how badly I’d screwed him over and that he had to do it himself and missed Christmas. It was funny.
22. The Principal’s Pet
The jerk was a family friend of the principal. My parents complained, but the principal said they weren't responsible if it didn't happen on school grounds. It continued until one day he wanted to make a spectacle of it. He thought he'd win but I had enough and broke his nose in the fight and left him bleeding everywhere. My parents got a call that night from the furious principal.
My mom’s answer was legendary. She explained it wasn't on school property, so politely do not disturb her at home for matters she wasn't involved with. Things went cool until late grade 6, and the same kid had been getting mouthier and pushier with me, even at school. The principal even smugly made sure we knew she wouldn't interfere. I was walking home the one day and the kid didn't take the usual turn to his house, so I knew something was up.
He tried to roll up on me, tackled me, and started punching. I grabbed his shirt, ripped the collar down the front, and then blasted him hard in the nose again when he was stunned. When the principal called, my mom just said to leave her kids alone and she'd call the authorities if the jerk came near us again. I found out later the kid was having trouble at home, so I empathize a bit, but kids like this need to find another outlet.
23. Spotlight On Revenge
This was my revenge on my wife's behalf. I worked for the BBC. I controlled the lighting on a music program "Top of The Pops". One day, they replaced a dance troop with a new lot.
One of them went to school with my girlfriend, now wife, and she told me of her bullying and arrogance and how she made my wife’s life miserable.
Now, quite a few performers can be a bit diva-ish, so this tracked. I also went to the same school and never noticed it, but being a studious kid I never hung with the in-crowd. I basically thought it would go fine. When I got to the studio, that changed.
The dancer recognized me and, thinking I was an audience member, said something along the lines of, "Hi there, fancy seeing you here. I'm a performing here you know, I might get you into the green room later, you can collect autographs".
I know that doesn’t sound so bad, but she said it with a certain tone of voice and twist of her lip that irritated me deeply. So when their spot came along, I dimmed the spotlight on her to make sure the camera never paused on her.
I did it the week later too. There wasn't another chance, as that dancer was let go. The camera didn't like her. I feel bad about occasionally, but there it is. I've done many acts of kindness since.
24. Will You Be My Valentine?
I had a manager at a clothing store who just went on a power trip anytime the boss was around. She’d tell them how much she was selling and that the store basically ran only because of her, and she would use her ID card to ring up our sales. Valentine’s Day came around and I bought one of those huge boxes of chocolates shaped like a heart.
I put it in the backroom with a note from our married boss, telling her how much he cared for her, that he wished they could spend more time together, and to call him if she felt the same. Then came the biggest plot twist—she did call him. Turns out they had an affair, and the wife found out and left the boss, who in turn fired the manager. I only heard of the turn-about later because I quit shortly after V-Day. It still made my day.
25. Call My Bluff
It was 1995 when I was in high school. I was outside with my friends. We were a big gang, but we were potheads and punks, not known to cause trouble. I apparently annoyed someone, and he went to get the big guy of the school with all his followers. The ruffian came up to me with about six or seven other guys looking for a fight.
I stood in front of them alone while my friends were sitting in the corner, not even noticing the interaction. I knew I'd get my butt kicked big time and my friends would be pretty much useless. Half were girls and only one or two would have the heart to fight. So I decided to bluff it out. I gave my best psychotic smile and told them: "This is going to be fun". and assumed a fighting stance.
Anyway, the leader found a stupid excuse to back out of it and they all left and nobody ever messed with me or my friends. These guys are not used to someone fighting back, especially when outnumbered. I got lucky he was a coward.
26. Don’t Fake It, You Won’t Make It
A guy had hutzpah to apply for a job using completely made-up credentials. He even listed himself as the CEO of a completely fictional company with offices in London, Berlin, Sydney, New York and Rio de Janeiro. But that wasn’t the worst part. His portfolio included projects he had ripped off my own portfolio website. Not sure he knew I worked at the company, but extremely stupid either way.
Our HR person noticed and sent me his link. He didn’t get the job. When friends in other companies asked me if I knew him, I decided to get even. See, the one thing he forgot was to register the URL he listed in his email signature.
So I did it for him and set up a redirect to the Wikipedia entry for "impostor”. Last I checked, that domain had 2,000 hits. He found out someone registered "his" domain, but he still has no clue who it was. I love domain privacy.
27. Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner
I worked at Chick-fil-A in Georgia from the time I was 15 until I was 17. I got a better job at 17 and turned in my two-week notice. However, with one week left to go, the AC went out in the kitchen. I don't know if you've worked in a kitchen in Georgia in August, but it's ridiculously hot. I asked the owner when he would get it fixed.
He told me that he wouldn't get it fixed for another month. So, I quit. When I got my paycheck, I found that my pay rate had suddenly gone down to minimum wage for quitting before the two weeks were up. So, I decided to get petty—I went down to a butcher and bought a cow head. It was skinned but still had its eyeballs. It was really, really gross.
Since my parents were out of town, I left it on my back porch for a couple of days to get a good coat of maggots and insects. Then, one Saturday, I snuck into the restaurant and put it on a toilet in the men's room. The toilet's pipes looked something like a cross, so I lit a couple of candles around the toilet and put up a sign that said "EAT MORE CHICKEN".
28. I Have A Black Belt!
It was probably 5th grade; his name was Tyler W. Tyler was a master black belt and all-around nasty. I was a goofy awkward giant that definitely didn't fit into the cool Christian kid club. The pastor’s kid Cameron and Tyler were especially cruel when paired up against me. Usual stuff happened, like telling the parents and telling the staff. The church is not believing their saintly boys could be mean.
Well, one of my friends, Steve, was having a birthday party and Tyler called me out to fight at the party. I can still remember the anticipation all week, building and building into something wonderful. When Steve got his presents and the candles were blown out, we all disappeared outside for the main event. I remember Tyler still had some pretty cocky words saying he was going to beat my fat butt or something like that.
Well, there was something I didn’t know. It turns out Tyler wasn't a black belt. I got on top of that kid and beat the holy heck out of him until his face started turning blue. It was a very important life lesson for me that these people should be dealt with severely. So, then the aftermath is Tyler's parents want to sue me and my parents for beating their little angel. The church/school wants to suspend me for something that didn't even happen at school.
However, these people taught me how to stand up for myself and that's it because no one else was going to.
29. Childhood: Ruined
When I was about 14 years old, my friend and I were really into the anime show Yu Gi Oh and would get pumped after every episode we saw. This one time after we finished watching an episode, we decide to play the Yu Gi Oh card game for keeps.
After a heated one-hour game, I manage to squeeze out the W. My friend is obviously upset and grabs my rarest cards and chucks them into his turtle tank. He had a Snapper, and that turtle messed up my cards.
At this point, I storm out of his house and devise a way of getting back at him. It’s then that I remember he liked chocolate. I proceed to poop onto a napkin and cut it into several small bite-size pieces. I then roll them up into small, milk-dud-shaped balls and pack them in a Ziploc bag.
The following day I meet up with him and offer him some chocolate…He ate an entire nugget before he realized what I’d done. I don’t think I’m a bad person, but when you mess with a 14-year-old’s Yu Gi Oh, you’ve messed up his childhood.
30. Game On!
A lady on our team never did any work. Instead, she would whine her way out of stuff or go on endless lunch breaks where she just played solitaire. Eventually, it got to the point where we were uninstalling the games from her computer accounts via the local admin accounts.
One day, I noticed she STILL had a game on her PC, even after we removed the default ones. That's when I put my foot down.
That same day, she left the office and left her PC logged in, which was a big no-no. I got on her PC and found the game linked on the desktop. I went to the shortcut properties and changed everything so that when she clicked on the game it would open the Wikipedia page on work ethic instead of the game. She doesn't play games in the office anymore.
13. Hats Off To You
We had assigned seats on the bus and I was next to this awful kid, unfortunately. He threw my hat out the window on the highway. Before we got on the bus at the end of the day, he was bragging to everyone about how funny it was when he tossed my hat. I lost it and beat him down. Kind of like Ralphie in A Christmas Story. He was a bit bloodied. He wouldn’t look me in the eye after that all the way through high school.
32. Peaked In High School
There was a girl in middle school who was a holy terror. She tormented a friend of mine who had Tourette’s and a bad stutter. She would threaten us and write untrue stuff about us in the bathroom stalls.
She would make fun of our clothes, our hair, everything. We would meekly take it because she was really scary, and had a little posse of girls who hung on her every word—but were probably just as scared of her as we were.
Fast-forward ten years. My awkward friend is engaged and a teacher in a ritzy private school. I just got a great job in an office, and I had moved out and bought my own car. I went to the local gas station, walked in, and who should be working there but the holy terror!
She actually tried making small talk with me. She was still living at home and I could barely hold back my glee as I told her how well my friend was doing, how hot her fiancé is (he really is) and how I just bought a new car and moved into my own place.
I could almost see her ego shrink. Living well really is the best revenge.
33. Expensive Taste
I started work in a new IT role on the same team as another guy who instantly decided he wanted to make me out to be a pathetic, worthless excuse for a man. This was despite the fact that were both in our mid-20s and I had outranked him in the profession and was happily married while he was living with his parents, weirded out every girl he talked to, and was in a low-ranking job.
He used to try to bait me into arguments so he could rattle off his well-rehearsed right-wing cliches and boast about how I wasn't a “real man” because I didn't drink $80 scotch or have a weapon collection or whatever. I just ignored it since I already figured I was winning the game of life. One day, he sent one of his emails to the whole team—and something in me just snapped.
It said, "If you don't drink this, you can kiss your manhood goodbye", with a picture of some expensive scotch or something. I hit “reply all” and said, “You know what else kisses my manhood goodbye? Your mom”. There were “Oh, snap!” replies all around. Six months later, I was promoted to head of the team, and he was fired.
34. One Hit Too Many
I was harassed by this group of girls, and I would call their leader Karen. This girl would do all kinds of things from pulling my hair to tripping me or verbally teasing me. I tolerated all of it until the day Karen hit me hard across the face. Something came over me I don't know what happened to my timid self but I pounced on her, scratching, and punching her, I could feel my blood boil like literally and my vision was covered with black spots.
Well at the end of the day, she started crying and was covered with scratches and I had a panic attack immediately afterward. Nobody got punished but she never crossed my path again. All this happened in second grade.
35. Direct And To The Point
When I was in first grade, there was a girl in my class who was always mean to me. I don't rightly remember how, only how much I despised her. One day she got snotty with me on the playground…and I kneed her right in the chest.
Five-year-old me was not to be messed with, apparently.
I had a warehouse manager who was a dirtbag. My plan to teach him a lesson was simple—I took out ads in the local papers putting his car up for sale at half price and had people calling his house at all hours of the night.
37. So What’s Ok?
I wouldn't say I took revenge, I just finally snapped and started repeatedly punching him. In the middle of math class. The teacher took me out of the class and I figured that I was doomed and on my way to see the headmaster. The teacher said she knew he was mean, but hitting people in her class was not OK and never to do it again. Then she placed him in detention.
The kid gave some kind of begrudging apology the next day and said he respected me for finally standing up for myself. Well, thanks, I guess? He never bothered me again anyway.
38. A Prank Gone Right?
My girlfriend and I are in a very fun relationship, and we always like to joke around and prank each other. One time when we were passing by a toddler’s section in a department store, she told me she was pregnant.
She thought I wasn't ready yet and would freak out, thus giving her a good laugh. It turned out she was wrong. I was pretty ecstatic about it and she was surprised. She started crying real hard and I thought there was something wrong.
Things started coming into my brain like I'm not the father of the child and such. Only, she was crying because she was so happy that I was ready to commit to her and to a family. But she also felt guilty—after all, she did it in good fun and now had to crush my dreams.
To make amends, she was extra nice to me and pampered me that week. I think that's a pretty great revenge. Also, I’m engaged to her now.
38. Spill The Beans
I got a new job at one of my old employer's bigger customers and convinced my new employer to quit buying from my old employer. All I did was tell my new boss about their shady business practices.
40. Giving Her A Hand
I had a friend who had a bully. He had a locker above my friend and would intentionally drop books on her head, push her around, insult her throughout the year, and we all had a class together where he was generally a jerk to anyone that he could. Before class started and anyone else was in class yet, the teacher had to step out for a bit, and it was just us three in the room.
My friend was and still is very tiny but that day, it didn't matter. She snapped and had enough of his teasing and went on the attack. I don't think she could have done much damage on her own, but I stepped in. Puberty was swift for me and I was one of the largest kids in school; by 5th grade, I was already the size of an adult woman.
I pinned him to the wall and let my friend beat on him. He didn't speak to either of us after that, and we never got into any trouble. I don't think he wanted to tell anyone that he got beat up by a couple of girls.
41. Down And Brown
I have this friend who is a bit of a legend. He was out with a few friends at the pub one night and he noticed that his pint of Guinness went missing when he went to the toilet. He just assumed someone took it mistakenly and ordered another one.
My friend goes to the bathroom again, comes back, and what do you know his pint is missing again!! So he says to the guys, I’ll be back in a few. He comes back acting really distracted, scanning the room all the time.
His friends are like what are you up to!?!?...."Oh, you'll see". After a few minutes, he starts bursting out laughing as this guy across the room starts puking all over the place while simultaneously throwing a pint of Guinness to the floor.
Well, my friend had bought another Guinness, went to the bathroom, and pooped in it. He then left it on the bar for the thief to enjoy. As I said, a legend.
42. Touchy Subject
I was working as a laborer on a building site when I was 17. My job was pretty much just sweeping the floors and keeping the site clean while the carpenters and builders did their business. There was this one prick working there named Tony. Tony was a fat, old Croatian guy who, despite living in Australia for the last few decades, never managed to learn Australian etiquette.
He was a carpenter, but he'd march around like he was the king, blasting orders to everyone including the foremen, builders, and people who didn't even share his trade. Not only that, but he'd always be walking around with a cubeb out of his mouth. Now I'm an ENT myself, so the fact that he smoked didn't bother me.
However, doing it at work and no one had enough balls to tell him not to did. When I first met Tony, I could tell he was a prick, so I basically avoided him as much as I could. But every time I walked past him, he would grab me on my shoulders from behind with enough force that I was unable to move, and yell in my ear, "YOU WANT SOME?"
He'd do this every day or two. At first, I would just politely decline, wriggle free, and attempt to avoid him. But he kept at it. After about a month or so, I began telling him to screw off and stop touching me, but it continued. Instead of offering me some, he started yelling, "DON'T TOUCH ME, DON'T TOUCH ME", in a mocking tone. He found it so funny, but I'd have the last laugh.
Things had gone too far, and the foreman wasn't doing anything about it, so I had to take things into my own hands. One of the other workers had mentioned to me that Tony told him how worried he was that his wife might find out he was having an affair. So, I grabbed his phone from his workbench, selected a few choice messages, and forwarded them to her.
He also had a few strips of timber that had measurements written on them, sort of like a template, I guess. He had written "DON'T TOUCH" on them. I grabbed about five of these timber strips, added the word "ME" to the end, and super-glued the suckers to his car. While I was there, I also let his tires down and super-glued the caps back on.
“That'll do”, I thought. I managed to leave that day before he'd had a chance to discover my shenanigans, so I didn't get to see his reaction. Not surprisingly, I was called by the foreman that afternoon, telling me to look for somewhere else to work. I may have lost my cruddy job, but it was worth it just to take that jerk down a few pegs.
43. Wrestling Revenge
I was teased heavily in middle school. I wrestled in high school. At a competition, I found I had to wrestle Josh. He was one of those guys from middle school, and I knew I could pin him. Told my coach about him, and my goal wasn't to pin him, but to hurt him as long as possible. When the wrestling match starts, I do every move I can think of that could hurt.
I didn't try to get him on his back, just kept "trying" to jack up his arms and shoulders. Took a couple of shots and checked his crotch with my shoulder since he wasn't wearing a cup. I did the full six minutes and won twelve-to-one on points. He cried. The reaction was unforgettable. My entire team went ballistic with cheers. The coach had told them what he used to do to me and they were rooting for me so hard. I felt like the king of the world.
I walked off to my team. He limped off to the athletic trainer.
44. Didn’t Have To Lift A Finger
I was in my early 20s, living in NYC, and my then-boyfriend blew off date night to go out with co-workers and drink. This was fine, except I had left some work-related stuff I needed for the next day on his desk, so I let myself into his place. The next events sealed his sorry fate.
I was in his office when he came home bamboozled with a woman who was definitely not me, and was equally blotto. Unquestionable infidelity ensued. I was too shocked to react and let myself out after they had gone to sleep.
I knew I needed to end it but felt too ashamed to admit I knew he had cheated. So I showed up at his door early the next morning with no warning and proceeded to end it for infuriatingly vague "this isn't working for me" reasons.
He proceeded to go a bit nutty. There was a lot of begging and crying over the next two months on his part. He suspected I knew and proceeded to accuse all of his co-workers and friends who had been out that night of telling me. This only revealed to them that he was quite the prize.
His accusations and volatile behavior in the workplace apparently escalated and made people uncomfortable, and him a liability, so he was let go. I was told all of this by a former friend and roommate of my ex. The roommate also thought his behavior was despicable and slowly began to cut ties.
They also signed a new lease without him. With no job and no roommates, he had to move back to his hometown and in with his parents.
45. Stalling For Time
I had worked for a family-owned computer reseller for five years when greener corporate pastures called. I gave the required two weeks' notice, and the owner of the reseller business called the CEO of the company for which I was going to work. They got my departure delayed by two weeks. Then, they got everyone in the company to take me aside and tell me how big of a mistake I was making. Little did they know they were the ones making the mistake—the mistake of crossing me.
They all made my life miserable for those two weeks. When I left, I changed the entire internal network’s passwords to "I don't know". When they called to ask me what the passwords were, I told them the truth.
46. The Crowd Goes Wild!
My friend was the only Asian-looking girl in the area. This one little idiot had learned some vile names and delighted in calling her them until she cried. He always did it at the bus stop because we couldn't walk away. I got angry, but she always told me not to do anything because she was worried about it escalating. I promised not to do anything that would make it worse.
I like loopholes. I'm also from what some would call an aggressive family. We've play-fought with each other for as long as I can remember, so the desire to beat the heck out of him was strong. One time, he was singing a song that basically was just the P word to a tune with a few uninventive insults thrown in that didn't scan. He was playing this up particularly because there was a crowd of largely disinterested older kids also waiting for the bus.
I figured a way to ensure it wouldn't get worse. I punched him hard in the nose. No warning, just turned round and lamped him. Now I was a big girl even at 7, so when I put my full force behind the punch, it was nasty. I even hurt my hand because I was a dumb kid who didn't know how to punch properly. He staggered back and started crying as his nose began to bleed.
The disinterested crowd noted that he'd been made to cry by a girl, who ripped into him. He ran away, they continued laughing, me and my mate eventually caught our bus, and he left us alone forever more. I didn't get into trouble because he had no idea where I lived and rumor had it his dad was angrier that he'd not fought back.
47. Stormy Weather
This all started in my freshman year of high school. As many of us know, this is a time of insecurity and apprehension for boys at this age. Well, what was I insecure about, you might ask? I was very insecure about my height.
In my freshman year of high school, I stood at 6 foot 11 inches, making me the tallest kid in the school by a solid five inches. And keep in mind that I was a freshman. Well, I didn't like being tall. It made me stick out, and everyone wanted me to play basketball.
I wanted neither of these things. I just wanted to be a normal kid, not some tall freak (my thoughts at the time). So naturally, when I started getting harassed and called names by a kid two grades below me, I wasn't very happy.
I knew that I was getting singled out because of my size, and ultimately my size made it impossible for me to physically retaliate unless he hit first. So anyway, one day I was just in a bad mood. I'd been fighting with my mom earlier that day about grades, and everyone just seemed to be particularly awful.
The fourth bell rolls around and this kid starts getting up in my face wherever I went, calling me all sorts of foul names. I was shaking with anger, but all I could do was clench my fists at my side and take it. I was in a truly awful situation.
But then this kid who loved tormenting other people made a very unwise decision. I anticipated that he would say it one day, he just happened to do it on a day when I was REALLY not taking anything. This kid looks up at me and says, "Hey freak, how's the weather up there?"
Without a second thought, I proceeded to inhale hard through my nose, bringing every bit of mucus down into my mouth. I then proceeded to bend down to his level, spat on his head, and said "It's raining”. Every person in that hallway saw me do it, and every person was laughing at my tormentor's misfortune.
Ironically, he told on me and wound up getting me into trouble. My punishment? A 20-minute detention, administered by the chuckling assistant principal. Because I stood up to this kid, I gained school-wide fame. Oh, and he also stopped bothering me.
48. The Gardener
When I was younger, I worked in loss prevention for a supermarket company. There were a few guys there that everyone called "The Blue Ribbons" because they were in tight with the manager. They had a habit of acting like your friend and then bashing you to the boss behind your back. And not just bashing your personality.
They’d say that you were lazy, never did any work or anything that made you look bad, and kept them looking good. I was really good friends with my partner, Rick, who worked in the store with me. We both completely loathed this group but that's the way things fall sometimes, so it was no big deal. They were just a few guys we knew not to trust and didn't particularly care for.
Then we found out that one of the guys, Sean, was up to no good. He was telling our boss an outrageous lie—he said we were both taking time by saying we were working a certain number of hours, and then not showing or taking insanely long breaks. It was a pretty interesting accusation considering we were catching more than our fair share of thieves and associates.
Rick and I actually worked in the same store that Sean's girlfriend worked in. She was a customer service rep, and she and I took breaks together and got along quite well. She was a nice person but was definitely a bit on the trashy side and flaunted her looks. Sean was a really jealous boyfriend and they fought constantly.
They broke up and got back together about once every two weeks. I'm not a bad-looking guy, but Rick was quite the dashing fellow. I also knew, through some of the girls he'd been with, that although Rick wasn't a big guy, he was very large where it counts. I accidentally on purpose mentioned this to Erin during a smoke break.
I was kind of complaining that I was twice Rick's size, but I guess he was just huge, and it didn't seem fair, and blah, blah blah. The seed had been planted. Rick worked in the store quite often, so things were brought up, flirting ensued, and to make an already very long story short, Rick ended up getting some action from Sean's girlfriend right in our office.
I don't think Sean ever found out, but every single time we saw him we just smiled at each other. We knew that he thought he did a good job hassling us and being a pain in the butt. But it was worth it knowing that I planted the seed, and Rick got down with his girlfriend.
49. The First Win
I used to have a horrible little nasty jerk that would sit behind me on the bus home from school every day. He would constantly hit my head from behind and generally just get off from whacking me. One day I broke as he was getting off the bus and continued to hit me on his way out for fun. I started wailing on him and drove my foot with all my strength at his balls. Happy to say I really hurt him and he was in major, major pain.
He gave me a bit of mouth afterward but never bothered me again. One of the most satisfying moments of my life. He's a huge loser now, so I won twice!!
50. Paying For It
I don't know what will come of it, but I got a letter from the IRS saying I owed $10,000 in unpaid taxes plus penalties yesterday. I found this confusing since I had no income in the year they specified, so I called the number the letter provided.
An hour on hold later, I cleared up the issue. The letter was actually for my father, who has the same name as me. They had him still at my address. I pulled off my revenge flawlessly. I VERY quickly gave them his current one. After the years of mistreatment and what he put my mother through since the divorce, I slept like a baby knowing the IRS hate train was heading at him thanks in part to me re-directing it at him.
51. Riding Switch
Starting in the fourth grade, I was bullied. Not sweet and sensitive little name-calling, it was the full-on “beat the snot out of me” kind of torment. I had soccer balls thrown at my face and beehives stuffed in my backpack. I was tripped and then beaten up and humiliated in front of my friends and teachers. I put up with his stuff for years—until I couldn't bear it anymore.
Until I became a freshman in high school. He was a year older than me, so he already had his own stupid little posse, while I was a rookie in the school’s marching band. I played clarinet. So, yeah, from the outside, I pretty much seemed like a Grade-A weenie. It was summer, before band camp, and I was practicing my parts all by myself over by the lunch area.
The bully, who we’ll call Joey, showed up. He started calling me names and stuff, laughing with his jerk posse, and making fun of me for playing the clarinet. He finally left with his posse to go do something somewhere else, but he left his skateboard on the table. Now, I might have been a weenie, but I wasn’t an idiot.
In band, we were required to have tools on us for repairing our instruments, one of the tools being a wrench. Also, I used to skateboard, so I knew my way around a skateboard. I loosened up his trucks so that they were nearly falling off and put his skateboard back perfectly the way it was before. It had been about five minutes when Joey came back to get his skateboard, and to make another remark.
I said something like, "Go screw yourself," and then I just started sprinting as fast as I could. As planned, Joey hopped on his skateboard trying to chase after me, completely unaware of what I did to his board. He got off on a fast start but then quickly lost his balance, hit a crack in the cement which caused his front wheels to come off, and faceplanted into the ground.
He was completely knocked out. I ran back to him, spat on him, and then ran to a security guard. Knowing that Joey was a smoker, I lied and told the security guard that I saw Joey with a rolled-up substance. Luckily for me, the jerk really did have that, as well as another shocking object—a concealed pistol in his pocket. And it was LOADED. He got expelled from school and sent to juvie.
Currently, I am still a weenie. I’m going to college with a 4.2 GPA and a nearly full-ride scholarship to a great college. I anticipate the day when that jerk tries to get his revenge. I anticipate it very much.
52. So Deserved
When I was in 5th grade, a kid decided that he was going to violently tousle my hair every chance he got, all day. It got old very quickly, and I repeatedly told him to stop. He didn’t, of course. At recess, I was sitting on the ground talking to my friends, when I saw him running up behind me from the corner of my eye. I spun around, grapevined his leg, and sank my teeth into his calf.
I didn’t draw blood, but definitely left tooth impressions and there was a lot of high-pitched screaming. He tried to report me for attacking him, but the recess supervisor told him that he’d been watching him torment me for an hour so he couldn’t complain. Don’t ask me why an adult observed active bullying for an hour and just allowed it to play out.
53. Fuel To The Fire
In college I worked for a laboratory that farmed student researchers out to local businesses. We were supposed to direct the research and produce publishable results. I was farmed out to this biofuels plant.
The man in charge of me was one of those people who oozes incompetence. I was supposed to spearhead a new research project where we used an alternative method to process lower-quality oil into biodiesel. In addition to me, the guy I worked for also hired a "biodiesel guru" at the last minute.
This was a celebrity in the biodiesel world, Maria Alovert (who for some reason calls herself "Girl Mark"). Now, this woman’s claim to fame is inventing the "Appleseed" home biodiesel production method—innovative and useful, but not really relevant to what we were doing.
I was immediately put to work sweeping floors and washing dishes, and she was put in charge of the actual research. This continued even after the lab complained that they were paying me to create publishable results, not clean up the lab.
It also quickly became apparent to me that Girl Mark was not doing anything. She had no idea what she was doing, did not understand the method we were working on, and got extremely rude and defensive when I asked her questions. But it took a bigger turn. Then lab equipment started going missing.
I tried to bring this to the attention of our boss, and he fired me...in an email. He wrote a diatribe about how Girl Mark is an icon in the biofuels world and how dare I accuse her of this kind of thing, and she is doing a really great job and I'm not doing anything.
No big deal, my boss at the lab put me on a different project and cut off his relationship with the biofuels plant. I also wrote the director of the biofuels plant an email about what happened.
Two months later I get a call. It's the director. He asked me to come back to work for the plant, paid by them this time. Girl Mark had disappeared with thousands of dollars worth of equipment, there was a warrant out for her, and the guy in charge of the project had "resigned" and they needed someone to take it over. I had the perfect reply locked up.
No thanks. My old boss went to work repairing home furnaces. Years later, my landlord brought him over to give a quote on a pretty big job. I approached him later and said, "I used to work with that guy”. He asked what he was like and I said, "He's full of hot air”. The job went to someone else.
54. Fair Wages
Another boss was hired and the whole story was fired, except my old co-worker buddy from the story above and me. We basically ran the place and trained everyone that started to work there. One day, I found out that one of the people that I trained and had been hired after me was making more than me. After hearing that, I walked into my boss’s office and asked if I could get a raise.
I had been working there for over a year and many more responsibilities had been added to my job. He flat out told me, “No”, and basically said that I was replaceable. "OK", I said, "have fun replacing me". I walked out in the middle of my shift and called it a day. He called me a bunch of times telling me I had to finish my shift. That's when my petty side came out.
I asked him if I’d gotten my raise yet and he said, “No”, so I hung up on him. The next day, he called again, telling me I needed to come in for my shift. I asked again if I got my raise. “NO”. “OK, I'm not going in”. Less than a month later, he got fired and the owner of the store called and asked if I wanted his job.
55. Poke. Poke.
7-year-old me spent almost all of my childhood at our cabin, helping out my grandparents with firewood, fishing, carrying water and all that. If I had to be with society, I was hanging around horses. Shoveling manure and all those fun stables activities. Once I had to start school, I started sports on top of all that. During after-school activity, this kid used to follow me. He was 10 years old, just constantly poking me.
The whole two hours I had to spend there, he was near me, poking. We tried to get the teachers and everyone to make the kid stop. No one could really do anything; he'd always come back and just keep poking me. After three weeks of it, I finally just turned around and knocked his lights out. The poking stopped.
56. Honesty Is The Best Policy
My ex and I were engaged to be married and the wedding had been paid for by my parents. It was big, fancy, and all his idea. Then one day, I got a call from a Russian girl claiming to be pregnant by him.
He was in the Army and was stationed in Alaska for some time and I was still home. When I confronted him, he of course denied it, swore it was a lie and a desperate attempt at her getting to stay in America by being knocked up by a soldier.
I was young, dumb, and believed him. The girl called me over and over. To this day I don't know how she got my number, but whatever...about three months prior to the wedding, his best friend called me telling me that it was in fact true and that he had been unfaithful for months leading up to him coming home.
I finally talked to her, and she told me she'd even be willing to do a paternity test. She claimed not to have known about me until recently before she started calling. Angry and confused, I gave my ex a chance to explain himself and come clean.
I hoped he'd just be honest and we could somehow work through it, but no. He lied to me, straight in the eye. He told me I was crazy to believe some "dumb Russian princess”. So, I told him that I wanted him to consent to a paternity test.
He refused. But there was something he hadn’t kept in mind. What he failed to realize was that his CO was really good friends with my father, along with HIS father. My dad got hold of this information (because I knew what he'd do, I told him) and gave his two buddies a call and they got the Grandpa to do it.
Turns out, he was in fact the father of this soon-to-be beautiful little girl. He now has to pay child support to a woman who doesn't let him see his daughter, lost an incredible amount of respect from his officers, and had to pay my father back for the wedding that never took place, downgrade in apartments, and sell a lot of his musical equipment.
In the process he had to sell his beloved car that he loved more than anyone/thing, and I took the engagement ring and sold it, got $10,000, and went on the honeymoon but took my friends. We spent the 10 grand like it was nothing.
57. Drinking Buddies
I had a dirtbag boss that would demand we hang out and get plastered with him during and after work. He didn't like his family and would sometimes keep us at work three or four hours late while he swilled cheap booze and we pretended to. Then, of course, he'd drive home. This was all on top of the kind of general rudeness that's already been described.
One day, I decided I was sick of it. So, I decided to get petty—I called in an anonymous tip that resulted in him getting a DUI. Fired. Done. The new boss is cooler.
58. Keeping Composed
First couple of years of high school, this kid just kept harassing me. Senior year comes around and he joins the wrestling team. I beat him all day even though he was in a heavier weight class and was going to the states. I would put his chest in a leg scissor and just squeeze while driving his back into the mat. Over and over for about two hours, I did this to him. It was a little revenge but I also wanted him to be ready for the states.
After practice he decided to punch me in the face, splitting my brow. My reaction made me a legend. I just stood there and said, "Are you done"? Blood poured down my face. After the rest of the team booted him out of the locker room, they all cheered and said that was the greatest thing they have ever seen. Earned a lot of respect from the rest of the team by not punching back. Then, I also got his spot at states and took 5th place.
59. A Hate Follow
One of my college girlfriends decided it was a great idea to sleep with of my good friends in my bed while she was housesitting when my family and I were out of town. Once we got back to school, his dorm room was right across the hall from mine, and she basically moved in, which, as you might imagine, compounded the problem.
They finally got an apartment about midway through the semester and moved out, and a couple of months later she calls me and says he's a jerk and can she come over. I said sure, she comes over, we get it on.
This happened a few times, and the last night she says: "I was going to ask if we could get back together, but I figure your family probably hates me," to which I replied, "They're not the only ones. Get out”.
60. Slow Roast
My old boss was a super mean, super-sheltered Mormon girl. Mormons don't drink coffee. One day, she asked me to go get the lawyers in the office coffee. I went, being the office's whipping boy—and I decided to take advantage of the opportunity. I brought her a frap back, telling her it was like a smoothie. She got addicted. Literally. Before I left, she tearfully told the story on the phone about how she was now addicted to coffee.
61. Oops, My Bad
I was a lonely freshman walking to class, and an upperclassman would push his friend into me so that I would drop my books. This happened several times that year from the same person. One day, I got my revenge when that guy was walking alone and I asked my friend to push me into him. I slammed him so hard into the lockers that he grabbed his elbow in agony.
He was on the baseball team and probably needed that elbow.
62. It’s Getting Hot In Here
My first wife told me to grab my stuff and get out before she walked to the store and back (about 10 minutes)., She also said that she was in love with one of my friends...some would have packed, but not me. I grabbed her box of “toys” and rubbed them all down with my ghost pepper sauce...revenge is sweet and ouchie.
63. A Lovely Eau De Parfum
Two guys at work used to pick on me relentlessly. So, I used to go in early and spray raccoon urine on the chairs in their shared office. After two weeks, they were mostly immune to the horrible smell but everyone around them was not. To this day, they have a reputation for the worst body odor in our Fortune 500 company.
64. Evading Blows
When I was in second grade, there were two fourth graders who decided one week to just make me their target. I didn’t know them, live near them, or have any contact with them previously that I knew of. They tried several times to get me cornered and alone, or would just call me random names and yell mean stuff. After several days of this on the playground after lunches, they finally got me alone when I went to get a drink of water.
One of them grabbed me from behind and pinned my arms with the obvious intention of the other one hitting me while I was defenseless. Well, he wasn’t expecting what I had up my sleeve. He tried probably 5-6 times, but every time he would swing, I turned my body just enough that he ended up hitting his friend instead. The first one was really just pure survival instinct, but I remember hearing the exhale of air when the first one landed and realizing that was my only chance.
They were both a lot bigger and stronger and I was not getting out of that arm hold on my own. I guess the one hitting was getting annoyed, because the last one was at head level. His forearm actually did hit me in the head, and it hurt, but his fist connected with his friend’s face hard enough to finally knock him off me. That was it. They didn’t say another word. They just stepped away, turned and walked off. I never saw them again.
65. Words Have Weight
When I was in grade school, I was chubby. I wouldn't even say fat. My small private school needed five players to have a basketball team and fell short at four, since no other boys in my grade wanted to play. This was partially because the coaches were mean, and partially because they didn't like sports.
I hated basketball quite a bit but I knew how much the four who signed up loved it and looked forward to the season. Anyway, once I joined up, one of the coaches decided to start calling me names. It started when I couldn't keep up with my other teammates since I was fatigued from recovering from the flu.
Then he started calling me names on a more frequent basis, and I became the source of all blame for our poor record. Oh, we aren't making free throws. That was my fault. Oh, we lost by 20 points? My fault. He continued to belittle my weight and thus the other players and people I thought were my friends thought it was okay to do so as well (even during games, in front of the girls in our grade).
It shattered my self-esteem and left me with permanent damage. Among other things, I still have very severe anxiety, which I am working on overcoming but mainly rely on medicine. Anyway, I saw that same coach last year at a fancy restaurant. I am all grown up now (mid-20s).
I was out to dinner with a gorgeous blonde I was dating at the time, so I decided to completely embarrass him, as he had done to me for three years. Since I was now in perfect shape, looked great, and had a hottie by my side, I knew it was my turn to strike back.
I sat with my girlfriend at the bar and waved to him. He waved back and looked confused until I approached his table where he was sitting with another man (who had a bunch of papers out on the table).
I started it by disarming him of any alarm in his brain that might be saying. I walked over and said, "Are you Coach K?" in an excited tone of voice. He responded, "Yes I am," then I said, "Oh yeah, you used to be my basketball coach! Remember me?"
He must have thought I had forgotten all about how mean he was, and he said, "Oh yeah, how are you?" with fake excitement. That’s when I dropped the hammer. I responded, "I am doing really, really well after years of not doing so well. You probably know me better as ‘fat boy,’ since that is what you called me for three years".
He began to say "What uhh, I didn't, what are you talking about" and then I continued, "Yeah, because of you I developed very bad social anxiety, which troubled me for years and on top of that I was depressed from when you started coaching me until a few years ago”.
“Unlike you, I lost weight. I saw your family at church the other day and something occurred to me. You're fat, your wife is fat and ugly, as are your children. That must really, really suck. I am now very successful and own my own company, drive my dream car, and date women I never thought would talk to me. Also, screw you”.
I then promptly left with my girlfriend. He looked absolutely dazed and dumbfounded. The look on his face was that of "Did that just happen?" It gets even better. He was at that restaurant to interview to take on a coaching position at a private high school (upgrading from middle school to high school).
The athletic director heard what I said and didn't hire him. I found this out when his wife called my parents and said that I had threatened him and he takes that very serious and I need to call and apologize and because of me he lost a great opportunity to be the head coach of a big high school basketball team.
I was beyond happy. It still makes me smile. I saved many youngsters from having to be tormented by that guy. I never called to apologize, and I never threatened him...not quite sure where that part comes from.
66. Read The Fine Print
I once worked at a sign company and my supervisor had a nervous breakdown. She would sleep at the office, not shower, not change her clothes, wouldn't work, wouldn't do anything. Even though I was a temp, I took over like a boss. I went to meetings in her place and did everything in the whole department myself. When the time came for my contract to end, the manager of the whole operation had to decide whether to hire me or not.
She called me into her office and offered me LESS than I was making through the temp agency. I reminded her that I was a good worker and that I had increased output by over 200%, as well as basically doing the supervisor's job all at the same time. She held her ground, so I said, “No, thank you”, and I decided to just leave at the end of my contract. But before I left, I made sure to leave them a little parting gift.
In the meantime, every sign you see anywhere has braille on it as well as letters. It was part of my job to engrave the braille text into each sign. So, whenever I did a sign that wasn't a number, I would make it say, "I hate this job and my cheapskate manager". No one but me could visually read braille, so no one ever knew.
And before anyone calls me out: No, I didn't do that to the fire and emergency-related signs.
67. A Higher Station
In high school, I had a verbal bully. He never got physical, but I would always hear about how fat I was or what I was reading. He lived a few streets down and his parents knew he did it; they just didn't care. So, in my junior year, a new high school opened and I transferred over. He stayed at the old school. I help set up all the new computers and networks at the new school and graduate.
The school then hires me as a computer tech, which was great because it was awesome pay for an 18-year-old! So, my first year as a computer tech—and who do I see?!? That's right! He did something in his senior year at my old school that got him kicked out and had to repeat his junior year. So, he was now a year behind me. I am walking through the hallways with an Assistant Principal talking about what computers I was going to move, etc.
This dude just sees me and just starts up again like no time had passed. I just stare at him and then at the AP. He lays into the guy about showing proper respect for the faculty and staff while he just has this dumbfounded look on his face. It was amazing!
68. Scientifically Proven Revenge
My high school physics teacher once told me I was too stupid for a career in science, ending my dreams of being an astronaut. I now direct a STEM education project and am a second-year PhD student in Science Education.
Revenge is a dish best served with NHS funding.
69. Reference Check
To get revenge, I just tell the truth when people in our small industry call me to ask about what it was like working for him. He hasn't ever been hired for any of the jobs where I've been consulted on his work and demeanor. The best one was when I was called by a friend of mine about the guy applying for a job at the company I was contracting at the time.
I said, "If you hire him, I'll quit". I still work for them, on and off for the last three years.
70. Right In The Nuts
A kid in my high school randomly sacked me one day for absolutely no reason in between classes. He hit me hard enough that I was sweating and experiencing radiating pain in my upper abdomen for the rest of the afternoon. I had no personal history with this kid prior to that day, but he had a reputation for randomly hitting other kids in the balls thinking it was a big joke.
I waited for him in the hallway the next day, pencil case in hand. As he walked past me, I whirled my hand around, holding the pencil case like a softball pitcher. Luckily for him, I paused my swing millimeters from his crotch, looked him in the eye, and said, “if you hit me or any other kid in the balls again, I’ll drop you next time”.
To my knowledge, he never did it again and he wasn’t physically hurt.
71. Perfect Aim
This dude used to pick on me relentlessly in gym class, as these guys tend to do to nerds. I was catching some usual garbage this one particular day, but only as we were walking out to go back to class did I snap.
He grabbed my hat (just a baseball hat, nothing particularly special about it) and I decided that was the last straw. I started chasing him around the gym, but me being a nerd and him being a jock, I realized this plan was futile.
He was making his way toward the two exit doors and if he escaped, I knew I'd never see that hat again. All I had was my book bag on my back. So I stopped, sized him up, and slid the book bag across the freshly waxed basketball court.
Just as his hand is about to push the door open, the bag slides perfectly underneath his foot and he wipes out, smashing his face into the door at top speed. He crumpled to the floor in a bloody heap and cried like a baby.
I walked by, put my bag back on my shoulder, took my hat out of his hands, and stepped calmly over his twitching body. I never got in trouble (the teachers knew he had it coming) and he never said another word to me.
72. An Acquired Taste
I worked at a large nightclub. We got a new general manager that turned into a complete jerk. He would make comments about employees and constantly make fun of them. He would also tell the same stories over and over again. One day, when my buddy and I were closing the place down, I saw a jar of jellybeans on the general manager’s desk—and a lightbulb went off in my head.
I proceeded to rub my hands all over my sweaty balls and run them through his jellybeans. Then, I just dipped my nuts ever so gently into the jellybean jar. My buddy walked in while I was doing this. I told him to be quiet and not to say anything. The next morning my buddy gets called into the general manager's office for a meeting.
The general manager offers him some jellybeans which he politely declined. The general manager proceeded to finish the rest of the jellybeans. At one point a jellybean stuck to his mouth. My buddy had to leave before he laughed and ruined everything. I still do not really feel bad about doing that. That manager was a jerk.
73. Tooting Your Own Horn
There was a boy who picked on pretty much every girl in his grade when we were in grade 7. He and his friends started getting fairly inappropriate and started grabbing at girls in the hallway between classes. No one ever stood up to him because he was the very tall "cool" athletic popular kid, and pretty much everyone was intimidated by him.
I played trumpet in band class, and I was the only girl who did, in a big group of boys including him, so he picked on me a lot. Calling me "lesbian" simply because I played trumpet instead of flute or clarinet. I wasn't even a tomboy; I was a pretty feminine girl so he was really reaching. One day he came up behind me in the hallway after school was out, and of course, he grabbed me sort of under my butt so hard that it really hurt.
Luckily, I was carrying my trumpet case, so I spun around and smashed him in the balls with it. He crumpled down to the ground with tears in his eyes and never bothered me again after that day.
74. If You Build It, He Won’t Come
I had a jerk of a class teammate for an entire semester. He would sit in the corner of the room the entire semester saying he's working, but he was often just watching Glee. But whenever the professor rolled into the classroom, he would pop right up, and proceed to tell the professor about all the progress we have made.
But of course, when midterm comes around, he had absolutely nothing to show for it. He then goes around to everyone—the poor TA, the rest of the team, members of other team—for help. Of course, it's really hard to conjure up a midterm project overnight when all you've been doing all semester is watching Glee over and over again.
But alas, this was a team project in architecture and having a big blank where the classroom buildings are supposed to be in our piazza would have been bad. So the rest of the team and the poor TA all jump in and have an all-nighter to basically do his project.
It's around this time that everybody in the program realizes what an idiot he was. He hadn’t the slightest clue how buildings work or how to design them. This one instance he and the rest of the team had an argument about where walls and floors meet.
We were all designing a traditional Italian masonry house, and he swears that every floor should be two to three feet larger than the perimeter of the walls, resulting in all floors sticking out of the walls, and that that's how we should build his model.
This kid, an architecture student in his third year into the program, doesn't know how walls and floors work! Despite his ignorance and his lack of effort, he would still shake his tail in front of the professor and make snide comments about his one and only friend and how much his work was better than his friend's.
They no longer talked by the end of the semester. The professor wasn't an idiot, either, and caught onto this pretty quick. So while the rest of the team got a perfect mark, he got a C—a grade too high for him, in my opinion. But everything changed when finals came around.
By the season of finals, the rest of the team realized that if we want to have a good project, we should do his work for him. If you know any Architecture students, you know we are known for our ability to stay up and hammer away at a project day and night.
But not this kid. Every night at around 11 pm, he would stop watching Glee, tell the rest of the team how much of a headache he has and that he needs to go to sleep. At first we tried to tell him that he can't go to sleep without having anything done a week before the final, but soon we noticed how the project flowed more enjoyably when he was gone, and didn't care to stop him.
So every day the two weeks before finals, we worked on our individual projects. Come 11 pm, we would do his project for another 2-3 hours. He caused several scenes in the studio, which often ended with him making a girl cry or ticking everyone in the program off.
Next year, I got a job in the department. I managed the Facebook page and other social media groups for the department. It didn't take me long to find out about the option to delete people from the page. So every now and then, every time he ticked me off in fact, I would delete him from the page.
It wasn't a big deal; he missed some announcements about guest lectures that he never even went to and missed out on some fun comments on the page at most. But it made my week to delete him, and another week when I would see that he "liked" the page again.
This would happen two three times until I perma-banned him as I left the position. For all the idiotic theories he tried to shove down my throat and all the hours I spent working on his project, the revenge was petty, but I was trembling with power and excitement when I first deleted him from the page.
He then switched majors and is now working to get a structural engineering license to design buildings near you.
75. Let The Dough Rise
I used to have a baking job in a local bagel shop, and I also did some prep work. I was an "unofficial" manager since I had worked at the shop for years and made more money than most employees. Because my shift started early, I got to leave early. Some of the other employees didn't like this, particularly a new girl and her boyfriend.
They always had attitude problems toward me. I never knew why, they just didn't like me, I guess. Which is totally fine! One day, it was 11 am and the boyfriend started his closing duty. I told him, "Sorry, Boyfriend, you can do all of your closing duties if you want, but you still have to stay until close". He ran and told his girlfriend.
She started yelling at me from the front while I was in the back, calling me all sorts of rude names in front of customers. I asked her to come to the back if she wanted to talk to me and she came to the back, shaking. I was absolutely terrified—I seriously thought she was going to punch me in the face. I was all done for the day, so I went home to cry about it.
She ended up quitting and leaving a note to my boss about what a horrible person I was. My boss crumpled up the note, threw it away, and told me what a great person I was. Fast forward to recently, my boss ran into her stocking groceries in another town where she has moved back in with her parents and her boyfriend.
In the end, I didn't really have to do anything but turn to friends like my boss who helped me believe that I am a good person and that others are just rotten. I'm happy in a relationship, going to school and I have my life together, for the most part. I’ve often found that in the end, karma is the best way to get back at someone.
76. A Different Kind Of Revenge
I got teased by this girl in high school for being fat, and lost 100 pounds after I graduated. I looked completely different. Even some family who didn't see me during the process didn't recognize me. I ran into this girl again two years after high school at Starbucks. She started a conversation with me as we were stuck at the same table together in a busy Starbucks.
We talked, and a week later we slept together. And then I added her on Facebook to show her who I was. She slept with the fat kid she grew up making fun of! Not your traditional revenge. But hey, humiliating my old bully like that is worth something right?
77. An Expensive Mistake
My girlfriend cheated on me when I was 22. My best friend took all of her cosmetics out of my bathroom, threw them into an empty garbage can, and lit it all on fire. When she showed up to pick up her stuff, he just pointed at the still-burning container. Then she left.
It was probably several hundred dollars’ worth of stuff. She was super angry.
78. Technical Difficulties
I used to do IT work for a large university. A few years back, they decided that everything would be better if IT were centralized, then parsed back out to the departments. In many places, that might work. At this place, it was going to be a disaster for reasons that aren't relevant to the story. I knew it was going to be a mess.
And I didn't want to work someplace where a user is required to fill out a ticket before I could even look at their problem, so I decided to leave. As I was cleaning out my office on my last day, a professor came running down the hallway in a panic. This guy had been a huge pain in my butt for years. He was a jerk, he was condescending, he thought he knew anything that mattered about computers, etc.
He was your standard jerk. I also knew that he had been one of the biggest proponents of switching up how IT worked and that on at least two occasions he suggested that the best way to save money for the department would be to cut my position. So, while I had always been professional with him, there really was no love lost.
He was huffing and puffing down the hallway, and said, "I'm so glad I caught you before you left. I'm giving a big presentation in 30 minutes to the administration! My computer won't turn on, and my only copy of my presentation is on there!" My response was killer. I just told him, "I'm sure if you fill out a ticket with the central IT desk, someone will be with you shortly".
He just stopped straight still, and I think he suddenly pieced together that I knew exactly what he'd been saying when I wasn't around. He turned beet red and walked down the hall back to his lab, and slammed the door shut. His stuff wasn't fixed in time.
79. A Lot Stronger
I was teased in middle school for two out of the three years I was there. I was a quiet, chubby kid so it makes sense I got targeted. Final year of middle school, I ended up with a different group for classes, made friends, was more active, and hormones were doing their thing. After the final day of middle school, I ran into the guy from the years prior.
He tried to get right into his old tricks but I was having none of that. I punched him square in the nose and based on the blood coming out, I think I broke it. I then told him if I ever saw him again, I would rip his face off and feed it to him. I left while keeping an eye on him and never saw him again.
80. You Get What You Don’t Pay For
I used to get paid to write essays for people. I wrote all of this girl's applications essays (to eight schools), but she made all sorts of excuses and ended up only paying a fraction of what she owed me.
This girl comes from a rich family and spends about $10,000 a month on her shopping. She could afford to pay me. But she decided to be cheap and not bother paying me, even though my essays helped her get into a much better school than she expected.
I got my revenge, though. The school was waayy beyond her academic capabilities, so she ended up flunking most of her classes and getting kicked out. Hah.
81. Heavy Lifting
I worked in construction right after high school and was harassed daily for the first two weeks by this older guy. He carried an old metal lunch box daily to work and would leave it on the cement in a corner of the building till lunchtime. After having had enough, I used the nailer to nail the darn thing to the cement floor.
I put his food back in afterward, of course. At lunchtime, he bent over to pick up the box and injured his back. Weeks went by and he finally came back one day. He could no longer work and ended up retiring early. I would have felt bad, but the guy was a major jerk, and not just to me.
82. Family Matters
My aunt is only four years older than me. She's one of those "change of life" babies. We went to a small grammar school, and somehow kids found out that we were aunt and niece. I was in the 5th grade; she was in high school at the time. Well, there was this big goofy kid, Brian, who wore his Gretzky jersey literally every day and never washed it. Gross.
He was always talking about my grandmother sleeping with people and having a baby because she's old. Stupid stuff like that. So one day, I had it. He was yapping like usual in class. I got up, walked across the room, and hit him as hard as I could with the palm of my hand. His coke bottle glasses flew across the room. He had my handprint on his face for a couple of days. Then the tables turned. He was the boy who got hit by a girl!
83. Not Fun And Games
In first grade, a kid kept making fun of me every day at recess, despite me telling him to stop. One day I was in the sandbox and he mocked me. I'd had enough. I grabbed a handful of sand and shoved it down his pants. He didn't call me names after that.
84. Ten Out Of Ten Would Recommend
I worked for a photography company that contracted with the Army. My hours were being cut because work was really slack. It was down to like four hours a week. So, I found a side gig videotaping jury research and making a sweet $20 per hour. I told my boss at the photography company, and he was livid. He said I couldn't work anywhere else.
He said if I didn't show up to a crummy Saturday meeting because I was working at my other job, he would consider that as me quitting. So, I “quit”. Then, I started rating my old company through the Army's vendor rating portal. I gave solid, horrible reviews about all the real stuff they did. My old boss was soon replaced.
85. Trading Blows
I was maybe 15 at the time, and this guy would constantly pester me. Pretty harmless stuff like screaming or little annoyances to bother me. About 10 days after this all started, I was heading toward the bus when the guy smacks me in the back of the head. I pushed him off me and then punched him in the mouth. He ran off and I did too.
I guess someone reported what happened because the next morning we were called into the principal's office. I was given a stern talking to and the other guy was suspended
86. Hands Off
When I was in the service, this one guy would always come into our room and randomly open our fridge without asking and just take stuff and eat it. I took a lemon-flavored Gatorade (the yellow kind), dumped half of it out, and filled it up with my pee.
I then screwed the lid on tight and put it back in the fridge. I made sure it was the only thing left in the fridge as well. As sure as clockwork, he comes in and he takes it and drinks it. My roommate knew about it and felt bad, so he told him what happened.
In turn, the guy threatened to turn me in to the higher-ups for it. My response: "You're telling me that you are going to tell a room full of grown men that you drank my pee?” He never came into the room and ate anything ever again.
I left my boss a laptop sandwich. How do you make a laptop sandwich? Take a #2 on the keyboard. Close the lid.
88. A Sandwich Solution
A big, tall, muscular girl that I knew my entire life decided to start picking on me in high school. 10th grade. She wasn't physical with me, but would say really mean stuff to me and call me names. I told my mom about it, who spoke to our English teacher. The teacher kept an eye out and even made her stay after class one day because she caught her calling me names and being a jerk.
Teachers and parents can only do so much, and I knew I'd have to say something to her. One day, she approached me and a friend in the cafeteria. I forget what she called my friend, but it seriously ticked me off. I jumped up and shouted, "leave her alone"! And I took my sandwich and threw it at her face. She got mustard all over her hair and looked quite shocked.
My mom was so happy when I told her about it. That was luckily all it took, she left me alone after that. I didn't hurt her physically, maybe just hurt her ego.
89. Family Feud
When I was a kid, I got the Sabrina the Teenage Witch "Handbook”. It was full of kiddie experiments and stuff and was pretty fun. My older sister had upset or annoyed me about something, so I tried out one of the “tricks” from the book.
You fill a cup with water and some corn kernels, put some tinfoil on top of the cup, and the kernels eventually pop and it makes noise against the tinfoil. I put it under her bed. It takes a few days to "work" so I completely forgot about it…until one night I woke up to my two sisters whispering.
It had popped in the middle of the night and she thought there was a rat under her bed.
90. Credit Where Credit’s Due
I had a co-worker who kept taking my work, taking credit for things he didn't do, and was a general jerk towards me. I knew he was going to take something I was working on, so I made sure he got his karma by purposely messing up...hard. I mean very, very hard. As in, I indirectly bad-mouthed the CEO and higher-ups in a report going to a customer and sat back and waited.
He got fired without severance pay, he lost his house, and his wife left him. He lived on the street for three months before he was given a tiny government home. I send him a Christmas card every year.
91. Fight Club
In my school, you had to fight. If you were teased, there was only one way out: to square up. Even if you lost, typical mean kids don't like to fight confrontations, so they never bother you again; or if they do, you fight again. Fights were a monthly and even weekly occurrence, so many boys attended martial arts schools. That said, in our school, there were rarely repercussions for fights, so nobody ever got in serious trouble.
92. Kids Can Smell Fear
When I was in grade 9 or 10, we had a substitute teacher for 2 or 3 weeks. She gave me detention (the very first I had received, I might add) not only for something I didn't do, but for something that was not even worthy of a detention if I HAD done it.
I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was something stupid like coughing while she was speaking. She had no idea who she was messing with. I systematically turned my entire class against her, and subtlety undermined her whenever I could.
We did stuff like the entire class coughing together on cue, every single person making a paper plane out of their worksheet and trying to throw it out of the window (we were on the 3rd story of the school), asking incredibly stupid questions about the simplest of tasks, passive-aggressively correcting her when she made minor mistakes while speaking…the list goes on.
We ended up pushing her to tears. In hindsight, it was pretty cruel. Anyway, I'm now working at my old primary school, at a childcare program. I (think) I saw her once, and she gave me this look like she simultaneously remembered and despised me...I just smiled and continued about my business.
93. The Magic Formula
I used to have to report website usage, ROI, and all sort of statistics for a bunch of different sites. I built a cool mother of a spreadsheet in which you only input a few numbers and it would calculate just about everything the company would need. It was a bit too complicated for my boss to understand, yet he would take it to clients and brag that he made it.
That ticked me off. Then, after a while, he realized that the spreadsheet was all he needed, and he could use my paycheck to buy a new house. He laid me off. I told him he might need help with the spreadsheet, but he said he was smart enough. So before I left, I made sure to make him eat his words—I changed a single formula in the spreadsheet and had a good laugh about the reports it spat out. They made no sense at all anymore.
94. What’s In There?!
When I was in 5th grade, there was this one time our teacher left the class with a worksheet to do and took off for who knows where. Anyway, there I was, trying to finish my worksheet so I could get back to reading the book I had stashed in my desk. Enter one of the class pests. He wasn't doing his work. He was just trying to irritate me.
After a few minutes of this, I got annoyed and swatted him over the head with my purse, forgetting I had a travel-sized can of Aquanet hairspray in there for hair emergencies. He ended up going to the nurse, because he had a headache. He didn't tell the teacher why he had a headache, just that he did. I was mad because his stupid head dented my can of hairspray.
95. Best Buds No More
This guy at work started at the same time I did and we become buds. We hang out, play some Xbox, the whole nine yards. We worked together for two and a half years at this store and eventually were the two most senior associates.
A promotion comes up to become a Director's Assistant and basically get an automatic pay-rate bump plus full-time. We are both interviewed, and we agreed that we would put our best foot forward and not hold any regrets.
The dude beat me out in the end, and I congratulated him on his victory. He acts a little off but tells me it was a close run, and he knew I was a good candidate. Then I discovered his brutal betrayal. A week after the promotion, the store director calls me in for a serious sit-down.
He says, "I hear you have been cheating the time clock, possibly stealing, and giving discounts to friends". I deny, deny, deny that and ask for proof, or I was going to sue. I’m given a "forced three days off" while it is investigated by corporate.
I’m called in a week after suspension for a sit-down with the big shot. They apologized and promoted me to the DA position. They tell me that my buddy was caught on tape several times stealing, his electronic journal showed consistent unwarranted discounts, and other activities—even though he had “tipped” them off to my supposed activities.
When they confronted him, he broke down, apologized, and returned some stuff he planned to swipe after his shift. This jerk tried to frame me to get ahead.
96. It’s Company Policy
I worked in the IT department of a rather large law firm. A guy I was sort of friends with worked a couple of desks down from me, and he had a bad attitude. He ended up getting into a long feud with the tech support manager, who was, admittedly, a stupid cow. He ended up getting fired over the feud, and I think just his general attitude.
He called to tell me about it the night it happened since I was working on a project after hours and wasn't there at the time. The next day, my boss calls the department into a meeting to tell us that my pseudo-friend had quit, but that because he was in IT and had access to all the passwords, they were not allowed to give him two weeks' notice.
This was, of course, complete nonsense. Everyone knew that he got fired, and everyone knew our boss was lying through his teeth. So, fast forward about six months later, and I had just survived being scapegoated big time for some stuff I wasn't even remotely responsible for. I could see the writing on the wall that they were working on building a case to get me canned. But they had no idea who they were messing with.
It just so happened that I got a job offer through a referral from a friend that worked at another company. So, when the offer came through and was way more than I’d expected, I did a little dance and then I shut up about it. My girlfriend was a flight attendant at the time, so we planned a little last-minute getaway between jobs.
The day before we were scheduled to leave for EUROPE, I went to work, did my best to close out all my issues, and, for the sake of my coworkers, put out any fires I could. Then, I marched in and handed my boss my letter of resignation, effective immediately. He read the letter. There was a long pause, and then he asked me when I wanted my last day to be.
I looked at him for a minute, savoring the trap. Then, I reminded him that "because I had access to all the sensitive system passwords, I wasn't allowed to give or take two weeks' notice". His jaw hit the ground, he muttered some sentence fragments, and it was pretty clear that I’d caught him in a lie. And the best part?
While we were living it up in Italy a few weeks later, I checked in on my bank account at a cyber cafe and saw that my direct deposit had cleared a check. It was for the pay period of the two weeks after I left. So, even though I didn't work it, I was given my two weeks' notice in salary. That extra paycheck essentially paid for an extra week in Europe. And that extra week was by far the best part of the trip.
97. Soda Surprise
In the third grade, there was a kid that always used to take my soda from me at lunch. He would chug the soda really fast and I was pretty passive back in the day, so he was always able to get away with it. One day the kid took my soda and lunch, drank the soda, and smooshed the rest. I went home that day thinking of ways I could get him to stop.
I came up with a seriously devious plan. What I ended up doing was taking a can of soda from the fridge and puncturing a tiny hole in the bottom. Slowly, I let all the soda drip into a cup so I could drink it, and then stuck the empty can in a bowl that was soaking in the sink. If I recall the bowl was used to make peanut butter cookies, so it had soap and some greasy peanut water in it.
Once the can was full like a regular soda can, I cleaned it off and put just a drip of super glue over the hole. Well, that next day, the kid grabbed my drink like usual. He chugged the soda like usual... Then proceeded to vomit all over himself. It was glorious. That, my friends, was the last taken soda.
98. Pulling The Puppet Strings
I once had a colleague I hated because he was very condescending and really arrogant. As revenge, I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer for a computer mouse and kept the mouse in my drawer.
I would just open my drawer and it would mess his computer right up. I kept it going for like two months. He was about to scream at the whole world when I thought I better stop.
99. Third Time’s The Charm
I worked in a place where the management structure in each store was a manager and three assistant managers. I was one of the assistants. One of the others was a guy and the third assistant was a thin, blonde girl. All of us, including the manager, were in our early 20s. The manager had his little "boy’s club" going on with the guy—and they were up to some fishy stuff.
The girl was pretty and flirty and was treated very differently from me. The two guys were definitely out to get me fired. I was constantly getting written up by both of them without being told anything. Then, my manager scheduled a surprise meeting with the area manager to confront me and let me know that if I was written up just once more, I would be fired.
I am positive that my job performance was better than most people there and in no way did I deserve the treatment I was receiving. We were not unionized. So, at this point, there was no recourse for me but to quit, which I couldn't do because I was finishing college and had living expenses to pay. Soon after the ultimatum, I applied for a position in corporate and ended up getting the job.
I let my boss know that I would be out of there in two weeks and told him about the new position I had gotten. Come to find out, this was the third time the position had been available. The best part? My boss had applied for it twice and failed to get it both times. The company had called him to let him know it was being posted for the third time.
They had even asked him if he wanted to interview again. He didn't because he was ticked off that he kept getting passed over. It was totally awesome to find out that I got the job on my first interview, and he couldn't get it at all. He left the company shortly after I left. The other two assistants are still assistants.
100. The Real Hot Stuff
As a short Asian girl, I have been teased a lot. People think I'm weak or a pushover. Well, I may not be the greatest fighter but I am by no means a pushover. I have gotten revenge on plenty of jerks, but the one I remember the most was in middle school. There was this guy, Todd, who that he was hot stuff. He was on the basketball team and was fairly attractive, and he even wore a leather jacket because he thought he was all that.
In reality, he wasn't so much hot stuff, more like cold runny diarrhea. Anyway, he used to constantly harass me, shove me, and insult me. I just ignored it because I just didn't care. But all my friends thought he had a crush on me because "if a guy is rude to you, he must like you" and all that stupid stuff. But eventually, it starts getting creepy.
I noticed him in my peripheral vision as I'm walking home obviously trying, and failing, to hide and stalk me. Starts brushing against me more and more. I just kept ignoring him and dodging him. All the while my "friends" keep saying that they're sooooo sure that he has a crush on me. Day after day I keep making complaints to my mom and dad.
I keep getting the same response from my mom "You're a girl, just sit still, look pretty, and ignore it" and things like that. My dad says to "deal with the problem yourself". One day during lunch he just straight up grabbed me. Ran behind me and started playing with my chest. All sorts of "Oooooo's" and giggles from the cafeteria. Thing is, the teachers are outside dealing with a kid who just puked so none of them could help.
I go from shocked to furious as I realize he's still messing with me. So, I rip his hands off my chest, get up, and punch him square in the nose. Then, after he falls down, I give him a good stomp on the nuts. Hard. Yeah, he was in a lot of pain. I get called into the principal's office, who calls my dad. Without even listening to the principal, he asks me what happened.
I explain that I was grabbed and I dealt with the problem by punching him in the face and stomping on him. Dad has the proudest grin and pats my shoulder while fighting the principal because this principal wanted to expel me. I end up not getting punished, and I got ice cream too!
101. Avengers, Take Notes
I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade and he did zero work, and the professor told me tough luck.
Instead of just saying no the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and got beautiful revenge. I began giving him edited versions. I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things, or just straight-up write stuff that makes no sense.
An example of the garbage I would put in: “To calculate return on investment, subtract your yearly earnings from your current bank balance, then multiply by Escher's factorial”. If he had even once bothered to crack the text he would have figured it out, but that apparently would have been too much effort for him.
He retook that class.
102. Chef’s Surprise
A new guy was working with me in catering. A vegetarian customer gave him an undeserved earful. So, I gave the customer a free bowl of "vegetable soup". He had no idea what he was actually eating. It was actually beef barley. He had the runs for a week.
103. An Equal Reaction
When I was just a little kid, around five years old, my cousin used to harass me. That day, I was wearing a nice dress and my mom told me not to get it dirty. Well, I was playing with a kite outside when he pushed me over into a puddle of mud. I got in a lot of trouble, but my mom told me to do it back next time. Unfortunately, the next time he bothered me was near some stairs.
I pushed him, and he fell all the way to the bottom. He was fine, and never bothered me again. My mom also whispered in my ear, "Good job".
104. Leave It Well Enough Alone
For the past few months, I've suspected that my upstairs neighbor has been taking some of my mail. I buy a lot of things online like books and craft supplies and every now and then there's been small things that were meant to arrive on a certain day that never did. One day, I caught her wandering around my front door. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Oh, I was looking for something I think I dropped into your yard”.
I got surveillance cameras installed a while ago, which were not noticeable to my neighbors. The camera that's pointed at my front door isn't visible from the driveway. So here comes the trap. I purchased a few postage boxes to set up for her. The first one was a glitter bomb. I set up the box to make sure she would get glitter to the face as soon as she opened it.
I packed it to make it look like a postage parcel, then sat it at my front door. 20 minutes later I saw her walking to my front door. She looked around then picked up the box and walked away. My only regret is that I didn't get to see her reaction when she got a face full of glitter. I haven't noticed any other mail going missing after that, but she will regret it if she does it again.
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