Guests are supposed to respect the places they visit and treat their hosts with respect. But what happens when they don’t? These Redditors have had absolutely awful guests over at their houses, apartments, and hotels. Whether they made an unexplainable mess or were just plain mean, these are guests that definitely shouldn’t come over again.
1. Some Fishy Business
My family is in the hotel business. One day, a particular room just started to stink really, really badly for no apparent reason. We checked everywhere multiple times looking for the source of the scent, and no dice. We sprayed everything in the room numerous times with deodorizer, to no avail. We left the room open daily for months to air it out without any change.
Finally, we somehow tracked the smell to the table lamp. We were dumbfounded, asking ourselves how it could be emanating from there. When I realized the truth, my jaw dropped. The guy who stayed in the room last had broken the thing, put a fish in it, and glued it back together. My brother and I were laughing like crazy and actually applauded this guy’s ingenuity. He got us good, and I ain’t even mad at that.
2. What A Surprise!
Once when I was about two or three, my family was staying in this hotel. The hotel wasn’t the classiest hotel. So, my brother and dad are out and my mom is reading, so I start crawling around on the floor, looking for who knows what, when I stumble upon a piece of newspaper with ashes wrapped in it. I take the ashes and my mom says to put them in my dad’s ashtray. That turned out to be a horrible idea.
You were allowed to smoke in these rooms, so we didn’t think much of it. Later my dad goes to put his smoke in the tray and BAM! It was actually gunpowder, not ashes. I go running and crying and hide in the bathroom. We weren’t blamed because the last people in the room left the gunpowder there. I mean, who expects to find gunpowder?
3. But You Gave Me A Key!
I lived in a two-bedroom apartment while in college, and a girl I lived with had an older brother who liked to go to party and drink in our area. We each had a private entrance attached to our bedroom plus the front door, so she gave him her front door key so he could crash on our couch instead of driving home if he had too much.
He seemed nice so I was fine with it, until he came by wasted in middle of the day with a really creepy friend and wanted to hang out in our home. His sister wasn’t even there at the time. He ate her food, went into her room, and told his friend he could sleep it off on her bed. I assumed she knew all of this and was fine with it because she gave him the key and all.
Well, she wasn’t. She comes home and sees this random guy in her bed and her brother acting a fool and was so mad.
4. Don’t Go There!
I had some work people over for a dinner party at my house. We purposely shut off the lights leading upstairs to sort of let the guests know that the party is downstairs and that there is nothing for them upstairs. Throughout the night, I would see one of my co-workers taking out the dip from his lip with his index finger and scraping it into his solo cup.
A bit later I went upstairs to check on my dog and hear some noises from the master bedroom. I walked in and saw the same dude using my toothbrush to get dip out from in between his teeth. He doesn’t get invited to parties anymore.
5. A Free Room
My friend treated my house like it was his own hotel room. I thought he was coming to visit me, and we’d coordinate for stuff to do, but the truth was heartbreaking. It turns out he just wanted to save money on a place to sleep. He had his own plans and didn’t tell me about any of them until he got to my place. And he even tried getting his other friends in the area to sleep at my place.
I hadn’t seen him in years, too. I was disappointed that I planned my holiday weekend around my friend, but that he had other plans.
6. In The Secret Stash
One time, my parents invited some of their friends over. They had two kids a couple years younger than me and my brothers, a boy and a girl. Since I’m the only girl in my family, I was forced to play with the girl. I showed her around my room and stupidly, showed her my stash of Nutella. I lived to regret this moment very quickly.
After a few hours of playing Minecraft in my lounge room, she goes to the ‘bathroom’. She was taking pretty long so I went to check on her, but she came out of my bedroom, with Nutella all over her face. I go into my room and check my stash to find one of my Nutella jars empty. I’m never rude to guests so I let it slip by. I’ve just never let her in my room ever since then.
7. Candle Capers
I was visiting my brother and sister-in-law at their fancy new apartment, and I took a smelly dump. They had candles in there for just that sort of thing, so I lit two and hung around while the scent worked its magic. Not sure how, but I didn’t notice the black smoke coming from the candles was leaving black streaks on the walls until too late.
I blew out the candles and tried to clean the walls. Toilet paper didn’t work, so I used their white fancy towels. It still didn’t work, but I ruined those towels trying. Eventually there was no escape but to fess up, so I did and was completely mortified.
8. The Vacation Home
My parents had a home on Cape Cod that had been in the family for nearly 200 years, but we lived elsewhere and went to the house on weekends and during the summer. My parents frequently invited friends to stay with them at the house. One time some friends who had stayed there previously and who also went to our church asked Mom and Dad if they could use the house.
My parents agreed and gave them the key. The next time we went to the house, we discovered that they had painted the kitchen window trim and sills red. They had also stopped up the toilet, which uses a septic system. But the kicker is that the next time the church bulletin came out, there was an item thanking this couple for hosting their son’s Sunday school class “at their charming home on Cape Cod”. Our house!
9. Tome Of Salads
As the owner of a bed and breakfast place for the last eight years, the craziest thing I ever found was an old, battered notebook. Its contents confused and amazing me. It had “Why I love salad” written on the front and then literally 40-80 pages on why salad was amazing. There’d be the occasional suggestion that the author believed salad to be alive in some sense.
It looked like it had been written on and off over the course of several years.
10. A Weekly Ritual
There was this one guy who stayed at least one night every week in our hotel and he always requested the same room. We thought he was maybe doing something illegal, so we searched the room after he checked out one day. Turns out he was hiding a blow-up doll under the mattresses. We threw it away and he only came back once after that. I actually kind of felt bad for him.
11. Rules Of Wiping
My wife’s oldest friend was using wet naps to wipe in the bathroom and then just put them in our tiny bathroom trash can. This in and of itself would have been eyebrow-raising but not memorably ridiculous…but it got worse. She’d also spent the entire trip criticizing our house, and at one point when I noticed a weird smell in the bathroom area, which is adjacent to the kitchen, she said “Well it must be your sinks, do you ever clean them?”
In reality, it was her own used wet naps that were creating the smell. I discovered what she’d been doing when I went to empty and take out the trash as she was leaving. When I confronted her about it, she straight-up started lecturing us about how we wipe in the bathroom. No accountability. She is now banned from our house.
12. Smashing The Keys
I have an antique grand piano. It’s the kind of thing I don’t want people to really mess with. Two times I let people play it when people were over, and they started smashing the keys. One with her hands just being stupid, and the other one actually put her boots on the keys and started stomping on them. I was so mad, I picked her up, took her to the porch, and made her leave.
Months later, I saw her at a bar and gave her the worst look. Finally, she asked what my problem was, and I told her what she did. She said she never did that and denied even being at my house. I hate that people don’t even remember the awful things that they do.
13. Grooming The Dog
My uncle, aunt, and my mom travelled from another country to visit while I was in college, then stayed in my place. I had to leave for a class in the morning and left them in the house to chill. When I came back from my class, my uncle had shaved my shin-poo’s legs down, thinking he did me a favor. My fluffy cute dog looked so ugly now.
What’s worse? He somehow only shaved three and forgot the fourth leg.
14. A Short-ish Hike
I was once at an undeveloped natural hot spring. I had a lengthy conversation with this girl, and platonically, she had more red flags than a communist parade, but we did seem to have some things in common in terms of things we were currently working through and dealing with. So, turns out she hitchhiked there with this old dude who was now acting creepy, so I offered her a ride.
The sun was now coming up, so I suggested we do a short hike on the way back to town, which she was enthusiastic about. I loaned her a jacket because it was chilly. She had talked about money problems after her husband left her recently, composting, and having a garden being a plan to deal with that. So, we’re on this hike, and she’s wearing my jacket.
I notice her pick up a couple of rocks she likes. She’d mentioned that cow pies make good fertilizer. Then she picked one up and put it in the pocket of my jacket. Cow dung. To save for later.
15. The Piggy Bank Thief
When I was younger, I was saving up money to buy a Nintendo game. It was a few days after I celebrated my birthday. I had gotten some cash and put it in my piggy bank. I owned a lot of piggy banks and put one of them on display. There was 5€ sticking out. A very distant family member came over with her parents, and I showed her my room. I still can’t believe what she did.
After that, she took my 5€ with her when she left. I was so sad. I told my mom; she told her parents. We went over to their place for a visit and to get my money back. She had put my money into her phone case. Handed it over to me. I’m still mad. The whole situation felt weird but keeping my money in her phone case is what felt the weirdest.
16. The Luckiest Day
Once when I was about eight or maybe a bit older there was this neighbourhood kid who used to come over every now and then. He seemed pretty normal and was fun to hang out with, but one day as he was leaving my house, he found some money on the floor and literally said out loud “Ooh, it’s my lucky day!” In a high-pitched annoying voice.
I kind of just stood there and didn’t say anything as he left with my money. We never ever talked again.
17. The Farewell Gift
When a friend and I shared an apartment in college, there was a guy who lived downstairs from us who was probably in his mid-30s at the time. He was slightly awkward but seemed nice enough and we generally didn’t give him much thought. He’d occasionally borrow items but was usually happy to return the favor like a good neighbor.
Fast forward to the day he knocks on our door and has a roll of scotch tape in his hand. He says he was about be evicted. His next request made my jaw drop. He was there because he was wondering if either of us would be “sweet” enough to gather some of our hair on some of the tape for him as goodbye gift. I couldn’t close the door fast enough.
18. The Little Thief
We had my girlfriend’s family over for sports night at our place, so a lot of drinks were involved. She lived right down the street from me, so we stopped by her house for a second and came back. Apparently, in that time my brother had stolen $20 and a necklace from her mom’s purse and was caught by my girlfriend’s sister.
We were walking back up to the house and we heard my dad yelling. We saw him holding up my brother by the neck, just walking across the hallway front room to the kitchen. My girlfriend and I just look at each other and mutually agree that we should probably go back to her house. I can only imagine her family’s faces as that happened.
19. The Boat-Sleeper
One night my roommate came back with a co-worker who needed a place to crash, so of course we offered him a spot on the crash couch. He was this weird Screech-lookin’ guy that really didn’t fit with our whole party vibe. But, y’know, when a friend asks for help, you help them. Also, he had the funniest reason to need to crash.
Dude lived on a sailboat, but somebody stole his rowboat that day, and he couldn’t swim home. Anyhow, we set him up on the couch while the party is still raging, and he pulls me aside and asks: “Hey man, what are your magnetics like?” I looked at him with a weirded-out expression. He continued: “I can’t sleep unless the magnetics are just right, so, like, are they?”
I tell him “I dunno man, we got some train tracks across the road and a cemetery down the way…Does that help?” “Perfect!” He responds, “Also, I wouldn’t usually ask…but could you tuck me in, just in case?” I look at him even weirder. In the end, I–a grown man–tucked him, another grown man, in to sleep! Weird times.
20. The Potato Problem
We have a buddy who has done all sorts of odd things. I’ll open with him eating raw couscous because he likes the crunch. But that’s not the weirdest behavior. His overall weirdness is why we didn’t question finding a potato on the floor, at firs. He was crashing on our couch while he had some apartment work going on and was working at a farmer’s market.
So sometimes he’d cut you off because he had a bunch of carrots to share or would pull a sweet potato from his pocket. So, I found a potato on the floor one day. I chuckled because he was crashing on our couch a bit still and figured this was a potato he had in a pocket, or his backpack and it rolled out. Whatever. I pick it up and move it to the kitchen.
Apparently, my wife also found a potato and thought it came from our friend, and put it with our other kitchen veggies. Then, I later found a potato in the living room, but he hadn’t been crashing with us for a few weeks. Even so, it wasn’t shriveled or wrinkly, and there no stems growing from it. It was, as best as I could tell, a fresh potato.
I call my wife over and the first thing she says is to confirm that our friend hasn’t been over in a while. I didn’t know she found potatoes. She didn’t know that I found potatoes. It was very confusing, and we spent a bit of time trying to come up with theories. Then we found out what was really happening. Eventually, my wife witnessed the cat grabbing and running off with a potato from the kitchen.
Our friend is so odd that we never considered that it wasn’t him leaving potatoes in the living room. We moved the potatoes to a spot that was harder for the cat to reach, and no more wandering taters.
21. A Bubble Break
We had been invited over to my friend’s house to drink and stay the night. We sat in the garden, talked, and drank, and then one of our friends excused himself to the bathroom. He was gone for about 20 minutes until another friend said he should go check on him. He came back down five minutes later laughing like crazy.
The dude had gone upstairs and ran a bubble bath from himself, lit a few candles, and even had a floating duck! The friend hosting was a cool guy and wasn’t angry because we were all really close, but it was strange and hilarious.
22. A Surprise Shower
My cousin was in high school when she decided to bring all of her high school friends into our house. My dad was at home that time, so he decided to cook lunch for these high school girls. So, when my dad was cooking, he noticed that these girls are coming out of our restroom just covered with towels and being really loud. My dad was quite shocked and irritated.
My cousin and these girls didn’t tell my dad that they would also use our showers. I knew that they also used our bathroom soaps and stuff and didn’t even apologize for leaving our restroom dirty.
23. Dinner Is Served!
Back when I was a freshman in university, I invited some of my mates to our place for dinner because my mom wanted to meet the people I went to university with. When dinner was laid out, my mom was like, “go ahead, feel free to grab anything”. Obviously, my mom meant to grab anything on the table or any of the food that was served. But something else entirely happened.
One of the guys who came over proceeded to go right over to our pantry door, open it, look around for a few seconds, and then he went and took some of the canned items inside, rather than eating the dinner. It was the most unusual thing. I think my mom was also so properly dumbfounded that she just didn’t mention it.
24. A Family Reunion
One time, my cousin came to my house for a family reunion, but he was a few days early so he had the guest room all to himself. But then, his girlfriend came to his house so she could meet the rest of his family, and just like him she was early. Just for clarification, they were both 15 and in the UK. They weren’t meant to stay in the same room, so she went to the other guest room.
The thing is, I was always was hearing her walk around, but since I was just eight at the time, I didn’t suspect anything. Until the day it all became clear. One day in the night, I forget something in my cousin’s room, so I naturally assumed I could go inside without knocking. I saw my cousin with his girlfriend in bed, exactly in the position you’re thinking.
As I was eight, I had no idea what was really happening, so I just screamed for my mom to come and then my cousin pushed me out of the room. When my mom came downstairs, she screamed so loud and called my cousin’s mom so he could go home. The reunion wasn’t cancelled, their family just didn’t come. After that, I never saw his girlfriend, I assume they broke up.
Years later I realized what they were doing, and I can barely look my cousin in the eye.
25. Sticking Around
There was this kid in the neighborhood when I was growing up who came over to play at my house once. The only thing is when the time came, he wouldn’t leave after repeatedly being asked. My parents and I actually ended up having to chase him around the house to try to get him out the door, with him laughing the whole time like it was some kind of weird game to him. He was not invited back after that.
26. The Right Utensil
We went on holiday and hired a local old lady cat sitter to mind the cats for the 10 days we were away. Nothing unusual happened with the cats’ care, we have plenty of extra food and water bowls, bags of litter, litter bags and scoop all left out. We get back, cats are good, house is fine. There was just one thing wrong, and it’s haunted me ever since.
Next to the litter tray is the spaghetti scoop; you know, that weird kitchen implement you never actually use. That’s what she had been using to scoop their poop for the time we were away. The actual litter scoop, which was right there, was unused.
27. After The Bath
My wife and I used to host international guests from the group Servas in our home early in our marriage. One young couple from Denmark that we hosted had a little four-year-old girl with them. They gave her a bath one day, and after getting out of the tub they let her run around our small living room because that’s what they did back home, apparently. Ok, fine.
Except this time the little girl decided to take a wee as she ran around. She was literally spraying all of us as she ran in circles. The parents thought it was funny and saw no harm in it, for reasons that are unfathomable to me. My wife told me to let them stay because we were “good hosts”, but we had to bring in a carpet cleaning service after they left.
28. The Dogfight
It was 105 degrees outside. My grandparents were visiting and came in their RV. They start whining about how our two well-behaved golden retrievers scare their precious little ankle biter Chihuahua thing. Parents left for work, sister and I left for school. We get home and find out that they put our dogs outside, with no water, in the 105 heat all day.
All of this was so their tiny dog could just sit in their lap on the couch. Like…you couldn’t have left the ankle biter in the air-conditioned RV? Or put our dogs down the hallway inside? We had a baby gate specifically to block off parts of the house. You couldn’t have kept your tiny dog in your lap like you’re doing anyway and tell the others to go lay down?
It’s been 25 years and I’m still mad.
29. Wrestling Night
I’m a big wrestling fan and used to invite my cousin and a group of friends over for WrestleMania every year. We would watch the show, have some drinks, order pizza, and have a fun time. One year, my cousin asked if a friend of his whom I had never met could come over. I was like sure, the more the merrier, right? I instantly regretted my decision.
This guy…he was not my kind of guy. He came into my house and immediately went to my DVD shelf and started pawing through my movies and loudly commenting on them. He talked nonstop the whole evening, talking over people and asserting his opinions very loudly. We were a pretty chill group, so it was uncomfortable.
Then, at the end of the show when a wrestler he disliked lost the main event, he jumped down into the floor, counted the final pinfall along with the referee, then jumped up and flipped the double bird at the TV. Needless to say, his invite was lost for next year.
30. A Bit Of A Fixer-Upper
My in-laws act like they live in our house when they visit. One time my father-in-law used the restroom before heading home and on his way out the door, he stopped to tell my husband something was wrong with our sink. Then he handed him a piece of our drain. Dude straight-up disassembled our sink while he was in there trying to “fix” whatever it was he thought was wrong with it.
We no longer have a proper working drain.
31. A New Start?
A friend of my father had a really tough time in her life and lost her apartment. We had a spare room, so he invited her to stay for a few weeks to get her business right and find a new job. So, she moved in and for the first week or so everything was pretty normal. But then it when downhill fast. She starts to bring all sorts of stuff home “for her fresh start”.
We’re talking clothes, cooking utensils, decorations, and such things. Wasn’t a big deal at first, because she has to start somewhere. Things got out of hand pretty quickly though, and she turns basically into a hoarder. By this time, she had lived a month at our place, and you couldn’t see the floor in her room anymore. There was just so much stuff, it was crazy.
My father was rightfully pretty mad and confronted her. She got into a whole screaming fit and also slapped him. We had her removed by the authorities and gave her the chance to collect her stuff a few days later but she never turned up. I don’t know where she is now.
32. Sit! Stay!
A guy that my ex was friends with was at our house all the time and knew our dogs’ commands. This girl came over for a house party and was terrified of dogs. After letting her meet my dog and getting a little comfortable with him, the friend told my dog the “attack” command as a joke. My dog didn’t take it as a joke and went after her and ripped her dress open.
That was the last time that guy was allowed at my house.
33. The Food Fight
We were hosting a cookout for some friends and family. My neighbor and his wife wandered over and kind of joined in. I didn’t know them that well, but I didn’t mind because they always seemed pretty cool, and being friends with your neighbors is always a plus. I wasn’t paying much attention when it was happening, so I realized the truth too late.
The two of them were wiping out enough food to feed a small group. My wife, who had been watching the whole thing, was already mad when she pointed it out to me. They started out with a ribeye each plus sides, got two more steaks and more sides. Then they got new plates they HEAPED with crawfish and corn on the cob, plus a dessert plate with pie and ice cream, which is when my wife came and got me.
I approached them before they started eating around 3:00 and told them I had planned on a certain number of people eating and there wasn’t enough extra for them to eat that much. The husband looked upset, and the wife said “Wow, are you serious?” like I was wronging her. I said “Yeah, sorry, there’s only so much to go around”.
The husband got up to leave, but the wife ended up getting revenge. She grabbed her plate and took at least 2 lbs of crawfish home. Here’s the funniest part. After that, the husband would always wait to mow his lawn until after I mowed and would always leave a little unmowed strip between our yards, like some sort of spite wall.
34. The Chocolate Fountain
I work at a hotel. My boss has told me the story of a couple on their honeymoon. So, we basically set out to try and get things our guests ask for and these newlyweds wanted a chocolate fountain. Sure, my boss thought, wouldn’t be too much of a hassle, right? No, they had to search like crazy to find one. Well after the couple stays, they check out and don’t really say much.
When the maid is going to clean the room, she basically goes in and starts laughing. My boss comes into the room too and there is chocolate all over the room. You could see the shapes of hands, feet and other body parts cast in chocolate in the bed, on the table, and even on the ceiling. You could make out where they started and where they stopped.
35. The President Arrives!
I once found a goat dressed like Abraham Lincoln. There’s no more story here, at least none that I know. At the time, I was working as a cleaner in a hotel. I went to clean a guest’s room, dreading it since they’d been there for a while, and found the goat. Don’t know how it got there, or how it was removed, but it made a good story for a while.
36. A Research Blunder
I used to work at a body donation facility. Basically, when you donate your body to science and some medical students or implant researchers or whatever need a human knee or head, they would call us. I did the actual dissections and some deliveries. Before I was hired, they made one explicit rule: no deliveries to hotels.
I thought this very odd, so I asked. The answer made me burst out laughing. A few years back, a researcher asked us to deliver his frozen specimen to a hotel for a conference. We did so, no problem. What we didn’t consider was that the researcher had decided the most efficient way to thaw a whole human torso would be to run a warm bath and let it soak.
No arms, no legs, no head. When he left the room, some unfortunate hotel worker comes to clean the room, sees this bloody human torso in the tub and calls the authorities. The guy gets handcuffed, and we are left explaining how we legally cut up deceased people. The hotel worker, we heard, quit immediately. Hence, the rule against hotels.
37. Turning The Room Upside Down
I was working at a luxury hotel, and we had a fairly big-name band staying with us. There were no noise complaints, and they seemed to be perfect tenants. When they left and we went to clean the room, EVERY SINGLE PIECE of furniture was nailed to the ceiling in roughly the same configuration that it was in on the floor. I found it to be quite amusing. Management didn’t.
38. Hiding Under The Bed
Back in high school, I was on a trip with my crew team of about 80. The guys decide that, since we have an entire floor of the hotel to ourselves, we’re going to line up all the mattresses in the hallway for absolutely no reason, because it was high school. I’m just about to wrestle my mattress through the doorway when I hear the best combination of screams and laughter coming from a few doors down.
Everyone simultaneously runs to the room. We made a disgusting discovery. Under my buddy’s mattress was about a slightly moldy 18-inch cucumber covered in dirt. Maids come, sanitize the room, my buddy gets a new mattress, and according to them two construction workers had been staying in that room for two weeks prior.
39. Such A Bother…
My grandmother weighed herself on our bathroom scale every time she came over. It was propped upright between the shower and the vanity because of the shape of our tiny bathroom, and every time she was over, we would hear a really loud THUNK as she none-too-gently set it on the floor to weigh herself. I don’t know why, but it bothered me.
I tried putting it under the vanity and out of sight, but she found it, and THUNK. Nothing like having my efforts negated to leave me fuming. Couldn’t say anything, though, because that would be disrespectful. Because, you know, going through people’s cabinets to get something they specifically put out of sight because you can’t set it down gently isn’t disrespectful at all.
40. The Party Secret
It was like my 10th birthday, so I convinced my parents to throw me a party. I even handmade the invitations and brought them to my classmates. Not many showed, but I didn’t care because I was simply happy to have a party. We go through the motions, cake and presents and all of that, before closing up and sending everyone home.
I went to the bathroom after, and it smelled horrible. I looked around, before looking in the trash. Someone had soiled their pants and just thrown away their undies and then left. I just kind of walked out and told my mom. After that, we decided on no more parties, and I was okay with that.
41. The Missing Towels
I offered a friend to stay in my extra bedroom for a month or so to get back on his feet and find a job. After about a month I noticed that my six extra towels in the linen closet were missing. I asked him about the towels, and he said I’ve only been using this one towel you gave me, I don’t know about the other ones. I looked all over the house and couldn’t find them.
Then I just had the random thought that I should look under the couch… yep, six wet, mildewy moldy towels stuffed under the couch.
42. A Sleepy Session
I host a weekly D&D game, and we are mostly in our mid 30s to late 40s with the exception of one 20-year-old. Said 20-year-old had to use the bathroom and it was about 20 minutes later that we began to question his absence. The dude fell asleep on the toilet and had a giant impression on his forehead from the sink counter.
We tried our best not to embarrass him but could not look away from his forehead for the rest of the game.
43. Just One Night, I Swear!
I had a cousin come visit when I lived in my first apartment. It was one that I shared with my girlfriend after moving out of my parents’ house. My cousin was visiting the whole family and wanted to crash at my house for the night because we went out and partied. We had a spare bedroom, so it was no biggie. I should have known something was up then.
The next day she wanted to go to our complex’s pool and get drinks, so we did, and it carried over into the night. We let her stay that night too, it was again no biggie. The third day is Sunday, and I have to leave town and go to a job site about four hours away. I do my normal routine, finish my laundry, pack my bag, say my goodbyes, and head out.
My cousin leaves to go hang out with friends; my girlfriend goes to work. Here’s where it gets weird. About 10 minutes after my girlfriend gets home from work, my cousin buzzes in from the gate asking my girlfriend to let her in. She does, and my cousin then proceeds to go into the spare bedroom to get her stuff…but goes to sleep instead.
My girlfriend tells me about it, and I think it’s weird, but whatever. We let her sleep it off instead of driving again because she had some drinks. My cousin shows up at the door the next night doing the same thing. Now, my girlfriend doesn’t have a mean bone in her body. She’s an extremely sweet and kind person, so she doesn’t want to turn her away.
Plus, I’m already asleep at that point because 5:00 am comes early on the road. The next morning, she has an early shift, and my cousin was still asleep when she left for work. After working eight hours, my girlfriend picks her 10-year-old nephew up from school fully thinking my cousin has gotten her stuff and left our apartment.
She and her nephew walk into the apartment. She witnessed an infuriating sight. It absolutely reeks, and my cousin has three people over all smoking weed in our living room. My girlfriend is mortified and does a very quick introduction, and then turns around and takes her nephew somewhere to get some food to take him out of that.
My girlfriend calls me and gives me the run-down somewhat angrily, asking me why my cousin is still in our apartment. I had no idea she was there still, so I call my cousin and I tell her she needs to go, that I’m not even in town and she’s staying at my place without my blessing. She gave me some big, huge sob story about how she didn’t know my nephew was coming over.
She says she didn’t think it would be a big deal, and she didn’t want to go to her mom’s house because her mom didn’t like the friends she was with. I didn’t budge. I told her to get her stuff and go. But she wasn’t finished. She then called my sweet girlfriend and gave her the same sob story, apologizing profusely and asking to please let her stay one more night because she didn’t want to face her mom, etc.
My girlfriend, hearing that story, lets her stay again. The next day I added it up and she had stayed in my guest room from Friday to Thursday, six whole nights, when she was only supposed to crash there for one. I call her and I give her the breakdown of the rent and expenses, and I tell her if she’s still there when I get home the next day, I’m going to want a weeks worth of rent.
If she can’t afford it, I’m going to call her mom and give her the run-down of everything going on and that she had not been welcome all these days. She left that night, but also left a ton of her junk and had trashed the bathroom.
44. Such Strange Speakers…
I used to be a bit of an audiophile. I had, and still have, nice B&W floor standing speakers. The high frequency speaker dome had this surreal metallic look. The morning after having a few guests, I noticed one of the domes had a non-repairable dent in it. Some jerk could not resist poking it, and because it was made out of this weird mix of fibres and metal it folded with creases and did not pop back to normal shape.
I never asked who it was and wanted to let benefit of the doubt prevail. It is my hope the intent was not to damage but rather poke that weird material out of curiosity…
45. Picking Up The Trash?
I was around eight when this happened, and my friend was seven. We were playing in my room while our moms hung out in the living room. The doors were closed. We crafted stuff out of paper so little pieces were everywhere. My friend’s hand accidentally slipped, and she knocked over a bag of trash with the tiny pieces of paper we were working on.
I asked her to pick it up and she told me she will and apologized. Before my eyes, she did the most bizarre thing. She dropped to the floor and started licking it, pieces sticking to her tongue. I sat there like I was watching a ritual, not even laughing but worried. I handed her the trashcan, thinking she was done and with intention to spit it out, but she didn’t.
She swallowed the paper, many tiny pieces. Then she took my glue stick and ate it to “rush the paper down her throat”. I was shocked and just continued to play, waiting for a reaction or something else, but nothing happened. She went home and forgot about it, but I didn’t, and I never told anybody. What a weird, weird girl.
46. The Music Audition
Many years ago, I worked in a tobacco shop, and I put out fliers advertising my interest to meet local musicians for to create some noise. What followed was a cavalcade of circus animals knocking on my door. One of the more notable beasties was this kid who was clearly…well…off. He was 16, and his mom drove him to my house.
She sat out front in the car while he brought his bass inside. He said basically nothing, played a very weak Nirvana riff out of time, and then sat there staring at me with his hand in his mouth. I don’t know what I’m even supposed to do with this…I hope he got the help he needed and is living an awesome life right now, but basically everything about the series of events that lead to that moment was unacceptable.
47. After The New Year
I threw a New Years party once. ONCE. It turned into an absolute disaster. Someone I invited brought a group of people who I knew but didn’t exactly enjoy their company. Sometime around one in the morning, I noticed that my keepsake urn necklace containing my brother’s ashes was missing. Then, I discover a couple of small lines of powder-like material in lines on my bathroom counter.
Those people had tried to snort my brother and stole the necklace his remains were in. I was livid.
48. Uninvited Guests
I was a kid and invited another kid to my house when we were around 10 years old. When he showed up, I couldn’t believe my eyes. He brought like four or five family members with him. None of them were parents, just siblings and cousins. They stayed just a few minutes, said they had to leave, and insisted on knowing the way out themselves.
That was that. Or so I thought. About 2-3 minutes pass, I go to the kitchen for some water, and they’re all still in my house hiding behind the counters and swiping our silverware. The thing is my family was kinda poor and that was not real silver. They all scramble for the door, and the kid never really explained anything at school. Turns out they were poor too, just dumb kids as well.
49. The Mattress Mess
In college, a girl who was the friend of friend had a bad breakup earlier in the day. She proceeded to get wasted and started crying. I let her have some alone time in my room to get it out during a party. I went to go to bed later and realized she had wet my bed and soaked my mattress foam. I threw it away, and she bought me a new one the next day, so it wasn’t that bad.
I didn’t want to make her feel bad, so I talked to her about the whole thing and worked it out. I knew she was a spoiled rich girl but geez.
50. More Than A Pain In The Back
A friend came over for a sleepover and didn’t inform me that she had “back pain”. At the last minute, she told me that she can’t sleep on the couch due to her back pain, so she needs to sleep in my bed. I didn’t want to be rude, so I said yes, and I ended up sleeping on the couch. I don’t know about y’all, but I find that asking to sleep in someone else’s bed when you’re at their house is impolite.
The next day, I had planned to go see my boyfriend in the afternoon, which is why I had asked my friend to leave in the morning. When it came close to 1 pm, I asked her when she thought she’d leave because I had other plans today. Her answer made my blood boil. She said, “Oh, but I start work at 2 pm and the place is closer to your house than mine, so I’ll leave at 1:30 pm”.
I’m not a hotel, and even they have checkout times! Another thing: During her stay at my house, we went to the nearby Dollarama so she could buy a gift for her mom. When we were heading back to my house, she wanted to charge me $5 for gas. The ride wasn’t worth more than $1 and I only came in her car because she had asked me to.