There’s a reason everybody loves shows like Judge Judy: There’s nothing like a good courtroom drama. But unlike our favorite Law & Order spin-offs, real courtrooms don’t usually have a lot of fireworks—until now, that is. These Redditors gave testimony on the juiciest courtroom scenes they ever witnessed.
1. Definitely Not An Expert Witness
So one of my friends has a job at our state lab, where she spends most of her time dealing with assault cases and analyzing DNA tests. Regularly, she's invited to give expert testimony at a ton of trials in her jurisdiction. She once told me a story about a time when she testified in a severe assault case involving a man and a woman. She was providing detailed information about the human anatomy—and then the most bewildering thing occurred.
Believe it or not, it was the judge—yes, the JUDGE—who asked them to pause and delve into the particulars of the female anatomy. Why? Because he admitted that he had "never heard" of one of the parts they mentioned. Wow, just wow.
2. All In The Family
I work as an administrative assistant at a company where my main job is to support lawyers specializing in Juvenile Dependency cases. Our financial support comes from the county as we represent financially struggling parents who have had their kids taken away by Child Protective Services (CPS). Once, an upset mother showed up in court sporting a new tattoo across her neck expressing her discontent with CPS, using rather unsavory language.
On that same day, the dad was on the hot seat answering questions for the court. The lawyer asked, "How many different substances are you currently using?" He responded, "Well...Not as many as I'd prefer," causing a moment of shared frustration.
3. Shooting Himself In The Foot
I've witnessed many people unintentionally ruin their chances to win a case, purely due to an ill-considered action or comment. Thankfully, most of the time it's not my client causing the hold up. The most memorable instance happened during a Domestic Restraining Order hearing that I was attending while waiting for my client's case to come up.
In this case, a wife had requested a restraining order against her husband. She had hired a lawyer, while her husband chose to defend himself. The wife testified first, but despite her lawyer's best attempts, she didn't claim that her spouse had inflicted any actual physical harm on her. Essentially, she had sought the restraining order due to him name-calling during a heated argument.
Once the wife had completed her testimony, the outlook wasn't promising for her and her attorney. Every person in the courtroom could tell the restraining order was on the verge of being tossed out, given the judge's skeptical demeanor. However, she asked the husband if he had any queries for his wife, presenting him an opportunity to cross-examine her.
The husband misinterpreted this invitation, assuming he had a free rein to ask whatever he liked. He promptly questioned if she had cheated on him. She denied this before her lawyer could intervene, pushing the husband into a fit of rage.
Enraged, he hurled insults and charged at the witness stand physically, as if he was about to assault her. Luckily, the bailiff intercepted him before he could harm her and he was promptly handcuffed and escorted out. In a turn of events, the restraining order was granted after all. If the husband had simply refrained from asking questions, he probably would have won the case.
4. Driving Me Crazy
There's never a boring day in the courtroom. One time, a colleague of mine had a client who told the judge she had no problem with her husband driving the children around after he'd been drinking. Her explanation was astounding. According to her, her husband drove better after having a few drinks compared to when he was sober—he even drove better than her.
In response to this, the judge instructed her to undergo a drug test. The latest update I received was that she tested positive for a bunch of substances ending in "etamine".
5. Sometimes Losing Is Winning
As a family law lawyer, I often encounter people during their toughest moments. One particular case, however, was truly deplorable. My initial involvement in pro bono work was in partnership with the court, representing people with disabilities who couldn’t afford legal services. These clients were generally pleasant, and it was rewarding to help them receive the support they needed.
However, I once encountered a client who was far from commendable. Clueless to the client's background on my initial meetings, I was taken aback when I met this woman. Her Michael Kors bag, Apple watch, and Burberry trench coat clashed with the anticipated image of someone in need of pro bono help.
One of the key eligibility factors for receiving my legal aid was financial incapacity. But, as I soon found out, this woman was twisting her minor disability to exploit my free services as a tool to torment her ex-husband. Our conversation gravitated towards her stories of how her ex-husband had hurt their children. Intriguing as they sounded, there was a twist.
Her nearly adult son had moved out from his father’s to live with her, and her daughter once made a 9-1-1 call serious enough to warrant a transcript. However, upon reviewing her case file, I discovered she had lost all visitation rights – a rarity that raised eyebrows.
With my knowledge of the presiding judge, her claims of a malign judiciary didn't sit well. She passionately insisted that the judge was engaged in a secret affair with her ex's new wife.
Fast forward to an exhibit of text messages from her opponent’s lawyer. In blatant disregard of a court mandate, she had been conversing with her eighth-grade daughter, encouraging her to skip school for shadowy get-togethers. This unfortunate revelation, along with more shocking discoveries, inevitably led to the collapse of her case.
The court handled the case with strict justice, denying her requests. This provoked an ill-conceived outbreak, whereby she accused everyone present of participating in the "lesbo bonanza". Consequently, she was held in contempt and ordered to pay a daily penalty for each day the other child wasn’t returned to the father.
When she showed no remorse and vowed to pay the fine, the court decided she could afford her own legal representation and added a note to her file. Though we technically lost the case, the outcome was a moral victory, one that was remarkably gratifying.
6. The Nagging Nelson
My client seemed to have a bad habit of whispering continuously throughout his own trial. Now, don't get me wrong, it's fairly normal for clients to confer with their counsel, but this guy just wouldn't be quiet. Despite the proceedings, he felt compelled to repeat issues that had been addressed, often while the judge was directing her words to me.
This was not just annoying, it was thoroughly distracting, and I felt like my hands were tied. I tried every possible tactic: reasoning with him, scolding him, even once threatened to impale him with my pen, and even tried to involve my boss, who's a buddy of his. But nothing could cut through his desire to mansplain. For instance, at one point, the judge brought up a $3,500 concrete expense.
Here's how the scene played out:
Me: *jots down $3,500 concrete*
Him: "Don't forget about the concrete"
Me: *nods in agreement*
Him: "Are you going to discuss the concrete?"
Me: Absolutely
Him: "Make sure you mention the concrete"
Me: *points to my noted reminder*
Him: "You need to address the concrete"
Me: *underscores it for emphasis*
Him: "Bring up the concrete"
Me: *deepens the underline*
Him: "Don't ignore the concrete"
Me: "Quiet down, please"
Him: "Remember the concrete"
Me: "Enough already, let me do my job!"
This wasn’t some off-court, post-trial conversation—it was happening mid-trial. I have to admit, the guy was quite clueless. When I tried to address it during breaks, he just chuckled. At some point, I couldn’t take it anymore and told him off. I told him he was the silliest person I'd ever had the misfortune to meet, and how his constant interruptions, followed by laughter, was making my job extremely difficult. His giggling only escalated.
In the climax, the judge denied a portion of his claim, resulting in him losing out on roughly $20,000. He broke down when he heard that. That's when I got the chance to hit back. I informed him that I could probably appeal for his $20,000, because I believed the judge had made an error. However, I wasn't going to lift a finger because he had been such an insufferable client.
7. Getting Her Money’s Worth
This story I often share stems from my internship with a judge who dealt primarily with vice-related cases. One day, we had a woman—a frequent face in the court and someone enrolled in a substance dependence program—brought in from the jail for a substant-related hearing. Here's a retelling of their conversation:
Judge: "Can you explain what occurred?"
Woman: "I had just left the methadone clinic when a man proposed some fire dope to me."
Judge: "He did what?"
Woman: "Offered me some fire dope."
(Her attorney quietly talks to her).
Judge: "Fire dope?"
Woman: "Yes, fire dope."
After a moment, the judge says, "I presume your usage of it is the reason for your presence here."
"Woman: "Yes, I used it. And it truly was fire."
8. Not Your Average Day At Work
So, my dad is a lawyer. During my senior year in high school, opting for service learning was an option for those of us who didn't have to resit standardized tests, so I chose to shadow my dad during a major jury trial. A buddy of mine, who'd already graduated, decided to join me. It was a bright September Tuesday. What started as a normal day was about to take a drastic turn.
While my friend and I headed to my dad's place, we heard a report on the radio about a plane crashing into the World Trade Center. We arrived at my dad's just in time to witness the second plane hitting the towers on live TV. The court's atmosphere that day couldn't get more surreal. The lawyers, the judge, the prosecutor, they all understood what was happening.
However, it was a different story for the jury. They were kept in the dark, no access to media due to court protocol during an ongoing trial. My friend and I, the only observers, were the only ones free to tune into the news updates. Brief court recesses became our window to relay updates.
The tension was palpable in the room. We were proceeding with a trial that under the circumstances should’ve probably been postponed. The only source of outside news was from a high school kid darting across the street to get updates from his car’s radio. The security lock-down in the court was noticeably heavy between our morning arrival and lunch break.
We spent more time outside the courtroom catching updates than inside observing the trial. The justice center felt eerie, abandoned except for a few front guards, their nerves betrayed by their vigilant scanning. The trial concluded with a conviction. My dad attempted to advocate for a retrial due to the extraordinary situation, but it didn't pan out.
9. Honesty Isn’t The Best Policy
I was setting up furniture and gear at a courthouse office. Walking into the edifice with my tools in tow, I was queued up to get security clearance. Just ahead of me was a bloke ready to go through the metal detectors.
He took one of the trays used for stowing personal belongings and started emptying his pockets. In the tray, he unceremoniously dumped his watch, necklace, wallet, keys, cell phone... his stash of weed, and his pistol.
Next, he breezily strutted right through the metal detector and glanced back at the security officer expecting to collect his items. The sheer surprise froze everyone present—the trio of security officers and bystanders alike.
Yet, after a brief pause, the officer holding the tray stuttered, "Uhh...could you place your hands behind your back, please?" Without any resistance, the guy complied, utterly oblivious of his error.
Ironically, he was there for a substance-related charge.
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10. I See A Pattern Here
A client I represented was facing allegations of... let's just call it assertive conduct. Throughout their statement session, this client kept projecting the very assertive behavior they were being called out for, even as I repeatedly tried to soothe them. In the end, they didn't secure the settlement they were after. Several emotional outbursts followed this outcome.
11. Quit While You’re Ahead
When my older, handicapped neighbor got caught for the third time driving under the influence, she was initially given a suspended license and a huge fine. However, she thought she could bargain for a better deal. Influenced by her countless hours of watching law shows on TV, she tried to confront the judge vocally and fiercely. But her plan heavily backfired. She ended up getting sent to jail.
12. You Can’t Choose Your Bosses
We work for a client who's actually a billionaire and well into his 80s. Once, during a settlement meeting, he complicated things by opening his big mouth—he loudly declared to the judge that he was "too darn old and too darn rich" to put up with the situation. Given the hefty retainer he pays us, my boss refuses to back down and essentially echoes our client's sentiments.
This threatens to land my boss—who I'm just a junior associate to—in hot water. After everything cools down, my boss loves to share this entertaining tale with every newcomer. He's not embarrassed at all. There's another unashamed anecdote about him. He once suddenly soiled his pants en route to a hearing, owing to a breakfast of four protein bars. He rather proudly recalls his ensuing pant-less courtroom entrance.
13. Bad Day At Work
I served on a jury once. During the trial, the defense presented what they called an "expert" witness. But every time he opened his mouth, there was an objection, which the judge agreed with. When the prosecutor began interrogating him...that's when things really got chaotic. The so-called expert couldn't provide a single solid response. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, he somehow activated Siri on his phone. It chimed in with, "It's ok if you don't understand".
14. Not As Smart As He Thinks He Is
Once, I had a client whose wife claimed he assaulted her. Consistently, he assured me that he had never hurt her physically and suggested that she was fabricating stories to win their children's custody battle. It was all verbal accusations from both sides with no solid proof, making it unlikely she would obtain a restraining order or full custody. My client's court testimony came as a shock.
During cross-examination, he admitted to punching his wife once. The unexpected confession left the opposing lawyer taken aback. Without waiting for a new line of questioning, my client started angrily waving a bunch of documents, convinced they validated him hitting her since they proved she was dishonest and unfaithful.
The paperwork was allegedly email exchanges between his wife and a male colleague. Soon after, I learned he had shelled out over $10,000 on private investigators in an attempt to expose his wife's supposed affair. Not surprisingly, a restraining order was promptly issued against my client. Yet, the tale took another turn.
I had repeatedly made it clear to my client that we live in a no-fault state, meaning his wife's potential unfaithfulness wouldn't matter in the restraining order, divorce, or child custody proceedings. Nevertheless, he was resolute that this revelation would be a game changer in court and get him everything he wanted. Ironically, it had the complete opposite effect.
15. Doing Your Dirty Duty
The majority of my clients struggle with mental health issues, and my work primarily revolves around civil cases related to mental health. Where I practice, if someone is involuntarily held for mental health reasons, their request for a detention review has to be conducted within a two-week period following their application, no exceptions. As a result, I frequently find myself handling clients who are not in their best state of mind, including those going through psychotic episodes.
Cross-examinations can get quite... let's say unique. My most unforgettable experience with a mental health review board had my client unexpectedly demonstrating how they ended up being confined under the mental health act. And believe it or not, this included an involvement of feces. Just another average day at my job.
Well, well, well, isn't life full of surprises!
16. Telling It Like It Is
I used to be a prosecutor in a small town. I recall an instance when I had a trial about drunk driving. The situation seemed clear to me—the breathalyzer test had no issues, and we had enough evidence to pin the crime on the Defendant. He was represented by a Public Defender. After I finished presenting our case, his lawyer stood up and announced that the Defendant himself would be the only witness.
Honestly, that caught us off guard. The Public Defender asked him to share his perspective with the jury, but then stepped back to let the Defendant do all the talking. You see, against his lawyer's advice, the Defendant wanted to testify. His statement was utterly surprising—he claimed that he was sober at the time of the arrest, despite high blood-alcohol consumption, because he had a high tolerance for alcohol.
Though I was initially taken aback, our medical experts had already testified that over a certain blood alcohol level (0.08), an individual can't safely drive a car. I knew the jury would want to hear more, so I decided to change my cross-examination approach and approached kindly.
I asked the Defendant about his activities prior to the arrest. He confirmed he had been drinking with his friends before driving a fairly long distance. Despite having multiple drinks within a short period, the Defendant maintained that he was sober and could safely drive even with a BAC of 0.20.
I found his honesty admirable, even though his self-image was far from the truth. While delivering my closing arguments, I emphasized that the case was not about how the Defendant viewed himself, but rather, was based on indisputable evidence and expert testimony. What ensued was jaw-dropping—the jury took barely 10 minutes to convict him.
Following the verdict, the Public Defender left the court, visibly upset. Despite the outcome, the Defendant said he just wanted to share his version of events. I appreciated his forthrightness, even if it complicated the trial. As a prosecutor, I recognized his right to defense, even in the face of undeniable evidence.
I feel everyone should have the opportunity to speak before facing any sentence. It wasn't a mistake on his part to testify, rather, it was his right—a right that I, as a citizen, would want for myself if I ever stood trial. But, of course, he ended up serving time.
17. Getting Off Easy
A family friend tragically caused a severe car accident while impaired and had her three children in the car with her. Sadly, the catastrophe resulted in a broken pelvis for one child, and another suffered a broken arm. Subsequently, the oldest child expressed a strong unwillingness to return to the mother's care, for reasons that were understandably very good.
In response, one family member, who is a lawyer practicing in a different state, pleaded with the judge to impose a stern punishment. The family member voiced that the mother showed no signs of remorse nor did they feel she cared about the likely possibility of repeating such an act. Despite these serious concerns, the mother was only sentenced to probation.
18. No Biggie, Right?
I once defended a young woman accused of aggravated assault. We had agreed to a great deal: her major charges were dismissed, she'd plead guilty to the lesser ones, and serve six months under house arrest, complete with electronic ankle monitoring that also needed to contain a sensor.
A month into her sentence, her landlord phoned me to say she was now behind bars due to violating probation conditions. Not only had her ankle monitor located her away from her house, but it also recorded two instances where she'd consumed alcohol, immediately alerting her probation officer.
When I visited her in the holding cell to find out what happened, her tale made my mind whirl. She seemed clueless about the reason for her detention. She said her mom was recently discharged from the hospital post-surgery and she wanted to take care of her. So, she emailed her probation officer for permission to visit her mother and then just went ahead.
A few hours later, the PO replied denying permission, so she returned home. She also had a couple of drinks over dinner on two separate occasions and didn't consider it as partying or anything. Her casual attitude towards her actions left me dumbfounded. I gave her a stern lecture: when you're on house arrest, there's one hard and fast rule—DON'T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE. And she broke it!
And while you're wearing an alcohol monitor, DON’T DRINK. She broke that rule too! Not once, but twice! Predictably, her PO suggested that she be removed from house arrest and instead serve a six-month jail sentence. I told her that the judge is likely to comply with this suggestion given the serious nature of her violations. There was little I could do to change this.
When we went for her re-sentencing hearing, I pleaded the judge for leniency. I emphasized her good traits and her acknowledgment of her transgressions. Furthermore, I mentioned she had been transparent with her PO regarding the matter. But then the PO interjected—stating upon confrontation about the drinking violations, she claimed ignorance about wine being alcoholic. An absurd lie, of course.
This statement completely shattered my defense that she had been fully transparent. The judge's thoughts on a light sentence quickly changed after hearing this.
19. Knowledge Is Power
There I was, contesting a $250 ticket I'd unfairly received for parking on private property, even though I had permission to park there. My parking spot was in a lot where the cops had ticketed everyone, even though my car was the only one that should've been parked there. The person who went before me in court got a ticket for parking at a handicap-only meter, which are marked with a red top in our nation's capital.
He'd come to court prepared with photos to prove that there were no clear signs to indicate that the red-topped meters were reserved for disabled use only. As a Maryland resident, he confessed to being clueless about this DC law. He reasoned that without seeing any signs, how would he have known? It was looking like the judge was leaning towards dismissing his ticket, but then he shot himself in the foot.
For some strange reason, he thought it was a good idea to announce to the court that he was a police officer. He added that he was the kind of person who would never knowingly break the law. Instead of helping his case, this admission led the judge to order him to pay the full ticket cost. He also advised that as a cop in DC, he should probably put some effort into learning all the laws he should be enforcing.
20. Fight For Your Rights
When I was a newbie in the field of law, I had the fortune of being in court alongside my father-in-law, who also happened to be a lawyer. He found himself engaged in a disagreement with the presiding judge.
Reacting to something the judge had said, he teased, "That sounds like something a Yale graduate would say." The judge, surprised, asked, "How did you figure out I attended Yale?" His response showed just how clever he was: "I noticed your ring while you were scratching your nose," he replied.
Interacting with seasoned rural lawyers has indeed been a valuable experience. In fact, I found myself in an intense debate in court just today with a lawyer on the opposing side. As our voices escalated, their client began to weep.
In an attempt to soothe her, the opposing lawyer casually stated, "Don't worry, this is just our way of arguing, we're still friends," and walked over to give me a reassuring hug. Interestingly, the judge chose to remain silent throughout this entire scene.
21. When They Go Low We Go Higher
I'm not a legal expert, but I once had to go to court to pick up my friend after his trial. The person who had his hearing before my friend was sentencing to spend 60 days in county jail. The man nonchalantly responded, "Fine, I can do 60 days standing on my head." The judge, unimpressed by his disrespect, remarked, "Well, then you can have another 60 for sitting on your rear, 120 days."
22. If The Glove Doesn't Fit...
Once upon a time, I knew this guy from school who perpetually toted around brass knuckles, even though it's illegal in our neck of the woods. His luck ran out when he got stopped for cruising without his seatbelt on, and the police found said knuckles resting right by his car radio. They took it, and he was obliged to show up in court, charged with possession of a weapon.
With interesting audacity, he wholeheartedly denied all allegations, including claims of lying police officers and being set up. But his defense strategy turned out to be laughably absurd. His 'master plan' was to show, right there in the courthouse, another pair of brass knuckles, slipping them on his hand, and arguing that they barely fit him. Thus, the cops' ones absolutely couldn't be his because they were way smaller.
Predictably, he was found guilty for both counts, and the consequence? A hefty fine, and 80 long hours devoted to community service.
23. Let The Man Go
Once, I was assisting a client during a jury trial. The poor guy was restless, desperate to use the restroom, but the judge refused his request. Predictably, the unpleasant happened—he ended up wetting his pants right then and there. As a result, the court staff had to change the chair, and presumably clean it as well. But ironically, everyone automatically pointed fingers at the defendant.
Interestingly, it can take only a little for this so-called advanced system to forget simple human understanding. Like trying to speed through an already speedy court process. Or labeling someone as "presumed innocent," which somehow translates to seeing them as a wicked, manipulative trickster who is pretending to need a bathroom break out of mere pettiness.
In an ideal world, that judge would've rolled up their sleeves to clean up the mess.
24. Not Very Professional
After his client's acquittal, a defense attorney was stunned and tackled by federal marshals. Throughout the trial, the attorney had been incredibly difficult and when his client was taken into custody, he became highly upset. It's important to note that although his client was cleared in this trial, he awaited separate charges in another state.
After his little episode, his fate was sealed—he client had to be detained and moved. The lawyer raised his voice at the judge and attempted to stop the marshals from reaching his client, resulting in him being stunned. His behavior during the trial was so extreme. To the extent that the chief judge wanted to prevent the man from practicing at the federal level in that state.
25. Yeah, Maybe Not The Best Candidate
My father is actively involved in expert testimonies and case evaluations for the College of Physicians. He is recognized globally for certifying hospitals and has bagged several awards, leading in his profession. There was a case where he served as an expert witness defending a doctor who was being sued by a woman. The woman's expert witness was a person who hadn't practiced medicine for the past three years.
This situation arose after the hospital staff refused cooperation with the said "expert" due to their alarming incompetence. Since the time the "expert" left the hospital three years back, they turned into a full-time real estate agent.
26. Spoiled Rotten
I work as a court reporter. I once worked on a case involving an ex-partner of a professional basketball player. She came to the court with a request: she wanted the judge to increase her child support and her section 7 expenses.
Despite her ex's income being over $50 million, she argued that he could be making even more. This basketball player had already provided her with a house worth a million dollars, multiple cars, and a large financial settlement. On top of that, he was contributing $26,000 every month for school fees.
In response to her request, the judge chose not to grant her what she asked for. Her reaction was much like a spoiled child's. She left the court in a huff, clearly upset by the decision.
27. Not A Mastermind
The craziest story I've got involves a naked guy who made off with a city bus, landing himself with a grand theft auto charge. Seeing as grand theft auto usually implies some intention to make money from the act, it was clear that this charge made no sense. So, it was eventually dropped.
28. Don’t Be The Hero
I was doing my internship with a family law attorney when we found ourselves dealing with a particularly venomous divorce case. As the court session wrapped up, we let the opposition exit the courtroom first, which was a standard practice. We followed them out, taking the stairs, then rounding the corner towards the exit. Lo and behold, there was the visibly upset ex-husband.
The man was hurling a streak of brightly colored abuses at top notch volume. Being about 6 feet tall, weighing around 175 lbs, obviously working for an attorney, and physically fitter than him, I felt confident enough to intervene—also considering the presence of many officers, with one heading our way upon hearing the commotion.
Feeling bold, I stepped between the angry ex-husband and my client, attempting to ease the situation by starting to say, "Hold on, now's not the time or...” But before I could finish my sentence, I was hit with an unpleasant surprise....literally—the angry guy sucker punched me in the stomach, and it totally caught me off guard. I doubled over right away from the blow.
The nearest officer took down the enraged man, handcuffed him, and dragged him away, most likely to the jail right next door. Meanwhile, my colleague was trying hard not to burst into laughter, while our client went down on one knee to check if I was alright.
All I could do at the moment was work on managing my embarrassment and fighting the urge to throw up my morning meal.
29. We Don’t Talk About That
In my role as a spectator, I witnessed a court case on behalf of the complainant involving a whopping $200 million intellectual property dispute. This complex trial, centered around mobile phone chip manufacturing techniques, was the second to unfold in the Federal Court following the dismissal of the first due to procedural errors. Notably, this trial, which was as technical as it was intricate, was being tried before a jury and had also been subject to legal action in Europe, Japan, South Korea, and China.
The presiding judge made it abundantly clear—There should be zero references to these international cases in his court. Ignoring this strict directive, a defense attorney mentioned the European case to the jury a few days into the trial. Unsurprisingly, this individual was representing one of the top two renowned law firms from Los Angeles.
Upon hearing this, the judge promptly requested the jury to step out, reprimanded the defense attorney, and reiterated his initial directive —no references to external cases. Despite the stern warning, the lawyer repeated his mistake—not once but twice. On both occasions, the judge halted the court proceedings and, after the second misstep, even instructed Federal Marshals to get their handcuffs ready should the attorney repeat his infractions.
The visibly agitated judge questioned the defense team, who predictably assured him they intend to comply with his directives. When the jury returned, all eyes were on this visibly flustered and shaking defense attorney. The courtroom was filled to the brim with tension as Marshals readied their handcuffs. Too overwhelmed to continue, the attorney couldn't proceed further, and court was adjourned for the day.
Such behavior is certainly uncharacteristic and frowned upon when dealing with a federal judge. In the end, it was an unusual spectacle that ultimately led to our victory in the case.
30. Doing The Most
While interning as a court reporter, I had the pleasure of meeting a friendly and unique bailiff. Often, lawyers need to have a private discussion with the judge, off the record and out of the jury's earshot. This spectacle piques the jury's curiosity and they often strive to overhear. This particular bailiff found an innovative solution to this problem.
He would start playing Marvin Gaye's songs on his phone and begin to dance with gusto, much like a Motown backup singer. He truly enjoyed his work and consistently went the extra mile in his role.
31. An Honest Mistake
I had a unique assignment for my local radio job I was reporting on a murder trial. What made this case strange? Well, the person who was supposedly killed had actually pulled a vanishing act two years ago, staging his own death, and had been living undercover in the forest ever since. So, technically, the person who died was someone already believed to be gone.
The trial's most memorable moment came during a cross-examination. The defense attorney questioned the accused about the peculiar circumstances of the supposed murder.
Defendant: "He tripped and landed on my weapon."
Attorney: "And how does one accidentally land on a weapon 17 times?"
32. Not As Seen On TV
I once served as a prosecution witness in a case where it seemed like it was the defense attorney's maiden journey into the land of jury trials. His antics were reminiscent of a wild, over-zealous lawyer straight out of a television drama. There were several instances where he dramatically questioned me with an assertive, "Do you realize you're under oath?"
It was already bad, but it got worse—he repeated the same stunt with my wife when it was her turn to testify. Because of his behavior, the judge had to stop the trial and clear the courtroom multiple times, just to reprimand the lawyer.
In terms of the defendant, it was clear he was guilty. However, with his lawyer's lack of expertise, his chances for a fair representation were practically non-existent. After a few years, I ran into the defendant again. He mentioned he was seeking external legal counsel to file an appeal against his conviction. This was a military court case, so I thought to myself, "He's got his work cut out for him."
33. So Close Yet So Far
I once saw a man in court who fell asleep, began to snore loudly, and then suddenly let out a roar that sounded like a lion. The judge asked him to come forward, questioning if he had taken any substances. "No, your honor, I'm just exhausted from my overnight shift," he said, though it was already 3:00 pm. His probation officer thought it would be wise to conduct a drug test.
Since I was the only man present in the court, I was chosen to accompany him to the restroom and oversee his urine test. This test revealed that he tested positively for two or three substances. As a result, he was punished for lying to the judge and had to start his rehab program from scratch, despite being close to completion.
34. Telling On Yourself
I was serving as a pupil barrister and found myself in court defending a person charged with assault and theft. The case dealt with a defendant who allegedly robbed an elderly woman of her jewelry and inflicted violence to do so. Sure, that's terrible, but not the most scandalous part. Astonishingly, a critical piece of evidence was that the defendant penned in her personal journal: "I have no qualms about hurting this old woman".
Can you believe someone would even document such intentions?!
35. Too Much Information
I've never worked in a court of law, but during my high school years, I shadowed a court clerk for a day. Part of this experience involved observing various trials, including a custody case. The couple in this case was constantly battling in court, with the father striving to provide evidence that the mother was unfit to raise their daughter, arguing that his home was a more suitable environment for her.
One striking moment from this case is still vivid in my memory, almost two decades later.
Father: Our daughter is already five and her mother hasn't even taught her basic hygiene! Just look at this pair of underpants she wore when she last visited me—it's full of skid marks!
Judge: Kindly remove that item from my courtroom.
36. Mommy Knows Best
I had to go to court because someone had broken into my car. It turned out to be my neighbor, who was also in high school like me, so the case was handled in the juvenile court. He had stolen my cell phone, the face plate of my CD player, and all my CDs.
When his mom discovered what he'd done, she didn't hesitate a single second—she reported him to the authorities, and I managed to get some of my belongings back, except for the phone and a few CDs.
During the trial, his mom tried to argue to the judge that he had given away my cell phone to someone else, so he shouldn't be held accountable for it. The judge was visibly shocked by her senseless argument.
37. It’s Getting Hot In Here
One day, I decided to pay a visit to the courthouse. I sat in on a case that stretched from morning until evening. The defendant on trial had brutally killed someone. The security camera footage revealed that the defendant wore two pairs of tracksuit pants. He'd concealed the weapons between the two layers, along his leg. When questioned about his peculiar choice of clothing, his response was, "I always layer up my pants, it's cold and they keep me warm."
However, the irony was, these incidents unfolded in the height of summer, when the temperatures soared to around 100 degrees daily.
38. I Do What I Want
As an attorney, I'm often surprised by the clothing choices people make when they come to court. There was a particularly noteworthy incident recently. I witnessed individuals identifying themselves as sovereign citizens pretending to be Native Americans (which they weren't), wearing dream catchers as necklaces and insisting that the United Nations permitted them to practice law.
The judge responded sternly, instructing the man to be quiet, sit down, and alerted him that he would be reported to the local bar for practicing law illegally. The man countered by threatening to have the judge disbarred. He also made threats towards the District Attorney present in the room—definitely not the wisest move.
39. Failure To Launch
One of the families I work with had previously lost custody of their other children. My state enforces a rule that any child born to these parents is automatically placed in foster care until court decides if they can properly raise a child. The parent in question had consistently misused substances, but claimed to be clean now.
This parent made a routine of coming for visitation and shown signs of being clean. The court required them to undertake a drug test, and the notoriously tough judge poses a direct question, "Are you going to pass or fail?" The parent replied they would pass, and the judge directed them to take a test.
The parents were only to return if they failed the test. So, after their case, as I was discussing with an attorney and preparing for the next case, I saw the parent come back. The scenario was both unexpected and unwanted. Nevertheless, I asked, "Did you need something…?" secretly hoping they didn't fail. But unfortunately, they admitted they did.
I immediately informed the District Attorney before the next trial, who, in turn, alerted the judge about it. The judge was so infuriated that he demanded everyone to leave. He now set his sights on the parent and asked, "Where's your lawyer?" When the parent could not provide a reply, the judge simply picked a random court-appointed lawyer and instructed them to represent. He then furiously reproached the parent.
"Now why did you mess up again? Aren't you interested in reuniting with your child? Well done. Now you've lost your visiting rights too!" The parent was reduced to tears as the judge continued his tirade. Once the parent began crying, the judge muttered, "I am glad you're crying. Now you know what your children are going through. Now, leave my court."
40. Guilty, Your Honor
My stepdad works as a detective for the U.S. Coast Guard. Once, we had a case about a guy who was on trial for steering a big cargo ship while high on a particular, ahem, white substance. The court proceedings had just begun, and this dude was hiding his hands in his pockets a lot. Then, the craziest thing happened.
But then, in front of everybody, he took his hand out to itch his nose, and sure enough, white powder scattered all over the courthouse floor. Well, it goes without saying, that guy didn't win his case.
41. A Slip Up In The Story
"She's accusing me of being unfaithful! She found lingerie in my car that she claims isn't hers." "Hold that thought! There weren't any lingerie!" "But there were! And they were for a bigger woman. As you can see, I'm not that size." "Wait, firstly, they weren't bigger sized and secondly—" Judge: "Hold on. Didn't you just say there weren't any lingerie?" "Oh... umm... Maybe it drifted in through the car window?"
Divorce court can be entertaining at times.
42. Learn To Read
I found myself on the witness stand, defending myself. Then the defense lawyer, quite annoyingly, pointed out one of my tattoos. He thought it had a nasty message about the victim since he couldn't understand German. I needed to clarify everything for the jury.
43. There Goes Grandma Again
In the courtroom, my Grandma declared she'd take her lawyer to court for not representing her accurately. After failing to get the outcome she hoped for, she angrily walked out. She can be a bit unusual sometimes.
44. Thanks For That
A couple of weeks back, I came across a story about a person who got mugged by two men. When the judge inquired if the culprits were present in the courtroom, the victim didn't even get a chance to respond. What happened next was something out of a movie...
Believe it or not, those two idiots raised their hands as if to say "Yup, that's us”.
45. But I Don’t WANNA
So there was this woman who pretended to pass out during a meeting while the lawyers were having a side discussion. Picture this, she gripped the chair while sinking to her knees and then dramatically flung herself on the floor, just like a toddler having a meltdown. The judge and the lawyers stole a look at her antics, but went on with their conversation.
46. You Almost Had Me
During law school, I had a quirky friend who once pulled a hamburger from his pants pocket and started munching on it right while he was conversing with a judge. We were in a law school clinic at the time, and the supervising professor just dropped his head in disbelief at this spectacle.
Similarly, I remember witnessing a judge giving a seemingly lenient one-month sentence for assault. The accused seemed to handle the sentence comfortably. However, as he was leaving the courtroom, he messed up big time by shouting, "Screw the judge!" This led the judge to casually signal the bailiff to bring the fellow back. The poor guy was slapped with a revised sentence—a shocking 24 months!
47. Don’t Lie To Your Lawyer
This is a tale about a dispute where both parties demanded restraining orders. I was representing a man, while his opponent was an older lady who lived next door. My client had filmed her charging at him and hitting him in the face several times without any obvious provocation. I presented this recording as proof, and I also shared it with the neighbor, along with any other proof I had lined up for the court.
This neighbor decided to hire a high-priced lawyer before the hearing for the restraining order. On the other end of the spectrum, I was a rookie lawyer who wasn't earning much. When the hearing date arrived, the opposing lawyer was quite cocky. He started off by accusing my client of intimidating and tormenting his aged, vulnerable client and fabricating stories about her.
The lawyer was in the middle of arguing that my client should cover his own client's legal costs, when the judge interrupted him. The judge was visibly puzzled and asked, "what about this video evidence, what's your take on it?" The lawyer seemed rather disrupted and admitted he had no idea about any video. The reality was instantly obvious.
The neighbor failed to share our evidence with her lawyer, who she had hired after receiving it from us. She had repeatedly confirmed to him that my client was the attacker. The judge paused the proceedings so the other lawyer could watch the video. When we reconvened, the lawyer looked completely debilitated, similar to how someone would look if their pet had been hurt.
The lawyer stammered out just a few weak questions to his client before basically throwing in the towel. It was one of my most straightforward and satisfying victories I've experienced.
48. Act Your Age
A colleague of mine who occasionally found themselves in the courtroom shared this tale with me. I can't recall the initial legal issue that hauled the accused into court, but he was noticeably immature and downright obnoxious. Whenever the judge was distracted, he would sneak a grin toward his family sitting in the audience. He was consistently difficult and cantankerous throughout the court proceedings.
He maliciously made an inappropriate hand gesture at the judge at a certain point. But then, the situation escalated dramatically. When the judge voiced something that rubbed him the wrong way, he shockingly pulled down his pants mid-trial and shamelessly exposed his bare bottom. The judge, unfortunately, got an eyeful of, well, everything. To add insult to injury, he and his family reacted with incredulity and ridicule when a contempt of court charge was added to his existing offenses.
49. I Contain Multitudes
I witnessed a lady eager to declare herself "guilty and not guilty". The judge, puzzled, asked her to explain. She admitted making a left turn ahead of another vehicle without giving way, but she insisted it wasn't her intention to hit anyone. Therefore, she felt she was "guilty AND not guilty".
50. Life's A Beach
As a legal practitioner, I can recall a situation where my client, a woman, was to appear in court for her past minor misdemeanor sentencing. Her outfit upon arrival near had me pulling my hair out. She arrives in, what appears to be, a fluorescent yellow bathing suit. Additionally, she’s sporting flip-flops with a matching yellow fishnet wrap. The moment came when her case was called and I could only hold my breath. As expected, the judge delivers the sentence, then adds…
Judge: Next time, kind lady, try not to dress as if you’re about to head to the beach!
Client (responds in a surprised tone): But I really am headed to the beach right after.
Sources: Reddit,
