These People Ruined A Jerk’s Day In The Most Ingenious Ways

No matter how nice we are, some people are just plain rude. From selfish seat-takers to unreasonably angry customers, no one deserves a surly person’s wrath—and when we stand up for ourselves, the results can be brilliant. Here, Redditors share the best times they ruined a jerk’s day.


1. Backed Into a Corner

I watched a lazy shopper park their grocery cart right behind another person’s car instead of putting it in the cart return. I got out of my car, moved the cart, and put it behind the lazy shopper’s own car. I then ran off and watched her have to get back out of her car since she couldn’t back out, and then finally put her cart away. I felt like a champion of the people.

eljesus

2. Never Too Late to Learn

A woman in her mid-50s cut in front of me and my two-year-old daughter in line at a restaurant. I was in the middle of getting my daughter a cookie and was in a hurry as I was dealing with a two-year-old. So I snapped at the woman, “How is it that you’re 70 years old and you still don’t know how a line works?” She was gloriously silent.

Section_1

3. I Will Look for You, I Will Find You

I came out of the mall one day to find that someone had hit my car. I asked a passerby what happened, and they told me that the guy who hit my car got out, looked at the damage, and quickly parked at the other end of the lot. So I came up with an ingenious plan for revenge. I went to where the car was parked, paint matched it to confirm that it was the one that hit mine, then I flattened all four tires, and left a note on their windshield telling them to have a nice day.

choppers_19

4. Revenge Is Best Served Cold

When people are rude to me at my fast food job, I practically overflow their cup with ice. Yeah, I’m a little passive-aggressive…

wideopenbeavers

5. Driving Miss Crazy

I volunteer at my university, safe walks and all that jazz. We are required to report suspicious activity. I  once witnessed a woman driving a Mercedes-Benz across a lawn to bypass the parking gate, tearing up this gorgeous lawn. I was not amused, so we reported it to the parking authority. They couldn’t have come at a better time.

They show up while the woman is still getting stuff out of her trunk, box her in, and start writing a ticket. She ended up driving away over a curb and peeling her entire bumper off in the process. Made me happy inside.

I_Have_Unobtainium

6. Sit Down, Lady

Today on the train, I sat next to an angry woman who wanted the two seats to herself. As I sat there, she kept mouthing under her breath how she just wanted to sit there alone. I wanted to tell her that it was public transportation and she needed to get over it, but I kept my mouth shut. Then she got what was coming to her in a completely different way.

A few minutes later, a bigger woman with a large purse comes and stands in the same car as us. I get her attention and tell her that she could have my seat. She huffs and puffs her way to me and I help her sit down while grinning at the angry woman who was upset I’d sat beside her. I enjoyed watching her head almost explode from anger as the other woman’s purse and body pressed against her for the rest of the ride.

Obieusmaximus

7. Deal or No Deal

I heard this from a DJ in my home town. He’s pushing his cart of groceries out of the store and over to his car when a woman pulls into the handicapped spot in front of the store. No placard, no handicapped plates. She jumps out of the car without so much as a limp and heads into the store. He gives her some stink-eye about taking up a handicapped spot and she snarls, “Deal with it” as she sashays into the store.

The guy is now fuming. He sees a couple of officers who were leaning against their cars talking. They hadn’t seen it. So he goes over and tells them the story. They smile and say they’ll handle it. He puts his groceries in his car, and as he’s pushing his cart back to the store to put it in the rack, he sees the officers have blocked the lady’s car with theirs.

The lady comes out of the store with her purchase, sees the officers, and goes white as a sheet. He walks over to her and says, “I dealt with it.”

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8. No Vacancy

When I was nine years old, my dad and I were driving around some little town in Europe for an hour or so looking for a place to stay, but we kept getting told that everywhere was full. So we pull into the nth hotel of the evening. As dad and I are walking in, we hear the desk clerk tell another potential guest that they have one room left.

The guy, though, is kind of rude and huffy, and he says snippily, “I’ll have to check with my wife.” Suddenly, my dad yells from across the lobby “I’ll take it.” Dude gets this shocked look on his face, spins around, and tells the clerk I’LL take it.” Desk clerk to other guy: “I’m sorry, sir but we’ve just sold out.”

JoshuaLyman

9. A Price for Everything

I work at a retail location that does returns strictly only with tags on the clothes. There was one customer who was exceptionally rude to our staff right from the moment she walked in and was browsing. She called both women working dumb idiots, which cheesed me off. But I made sure she got what was coming to her.

She came up to the register and told me straight-up she’ll probably return all the things she’s buying because she was just trying to impress her friends. So I took all the tags off the clothes when I was bagging everything. I bettered the world that day.

wehopeuchoke

10. Don’t Call Me, I’ll Call You

I was riding my bike to work one day and while I was crossing the street, a woman ran me over. She drove through the crosswalk, looking to turn right, and ran right into me. After I got bumped hard enough by her fender to take a spill and have some bruising all down my side, she stopped. But not to see if I was okay, oh no.

She only gave me an exasperated, “my bad” wave and continued to talk on her cell phone, ignoring me as I picked myself and my bike up. So I walked right up to her open window, grabbed her cell phone from her ear, and chucked it into a nearby parking lot as hard as I could. I swear that was the farthest I have thrown anything in my life.

She gaped at me in shock as I struggled back onto my bike and slowly rode off, fuming yet victorious.

wave517

11. Customer Appreciation Day

I went to go get my exhaust fixed after I ran into a pothole and damaged it. When I went to go pick up the car a couple of hours later, I was treated to a woman SCREAMING at the guy behind the counter. She’s positively foaming because she has been waiting nearly 30 minutes for her car to be fixed. She even goes so far as to call the guy an “INSIGNIFICANT LAZY IMMIGRANT.”

The guy looks at her, then looks at me. He throws me my keys and says, “Here you go, your Magnum’s ready—no charge.” He then looks her directly in the eyes. “Looks like it’s going to be more expensive than we originally thought. Would you like us to call you a cab?” I returned shortly afterward with pizza for the shop.

DeLaNope

12. Donut Mess With Me

This guy walks up to my work and asks, “Hey, kid, where is Voodoo Donuts?” Only he swore when he said it. I’m 27, he swore in front of a child nearby, and was loudly smacking his gum. Instead of sending him to Voodoo Donuts, which was only a few blocks away, I gave him directions that would lead him to the rough part of town.

WIENER_POOP

13. Just the Ticket

When I was working at a car dealership, we had a bunch of cars get their wheels taken one night by young punks. An officer was in writing a report and a lady came in yelling that he was blocking her from getting to the service drive-through. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and creating a huge scene.

So the officer calmly walks out and moves his car, then comes back in and finishes his report. But the best was yet to come. He then walks back out and drives his car to the end of the street and parks. The lady comes out, gets in her car, and leaves. The officer then pulls her over for having her wipers on without her headlights on. So satisfying.

sarahpalinst

14. Fluent in Smack Talk

I used to work for a major bank and while doing my stint there, I came across a ton of jerks. One time, I was taking a deposit for a lady and her daughter and I heard them speaking a Middle Eastern language. When I realized they were speaking Farsi, I was all ears—see, I speak Farsi. What I heard made my blood run cold.

They were talking about how much of a loser I was, how this job as a teller was the only thing I had in my life, that I probably didn’t have a girlfriend and didn’t attend school. Throughout this conversation, I spoke only English to her, and every time she responded to my requests she would smile and then say something nasty about me in Farsi.

At the end of the conversation, I switched up to their language and said, “Just because I work at a bank doesn’t give you the right to say things about me behind my back. I’m in grad school to become a psychotherapist and this job is for spending money. You should be ashamed. Is there anything else I can help you with?” Her daughter left the building immediately and her mother was beet red, embarrassed, apologized profusely, and left. I never saw either of them again.

edafade

15. Zen and the Art of Customer Service

I work in customer service and have no shortage of jerk customers. I often find that a nice big smile and a “Have a nice day” at the end of an insulting customer’s rant makes them angrier than any insult I could have thrown back at them.

PoopJungle

16. This Woman Doesn’t Have My Vote

I was waiting in line to vote, and stood next to an Asian man. We engaged in a conversation about the excitement surrounding the election. He struck me as a very well educated person with interesting insights. When it was his turn at the registration desk, the woman there rudely asked him if he spoke English before he opened his mouth.

Then she asked if he did, would she be able to understand him. I spoke up and said that he spoke English a whole lot better than she did and wasn’t anywhere near as rude as she was.

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17. Fury Road

The other day my wife and I were coming home from bowling and we got behind a truck in the left lane, next to a Maserati with a total Karen in it. This woman then suddenly jerks her vehicle over without signaling. She’s in front of the truck, having missed him by a few inches. The whole time she’s acting like it’s his fault that she swerved and endangered everybody.

The truck retaliated by cutting her off just like she did to him, and then someone else came from behind her and blocked her in the other lane so she couldn’t pass the truck again. We got in on it too at that point. The witch was flipping out the whole time, screaming and cursing. We then found out the truck guy lived in our apartment complex, and high fives were given all around.

Brosef_Stalin94

18. Face Control

I was working as a manager in a big nightclub about a year ago. I don’t wear a uniform, but I have a radio and run the security team. The venue has a great smoking section that looks out onto the street. One night it was packed, so I did my usual roam to make sure that there were no problems. Since the smoking section was too busy to walk through, I walked down the street instead to check on it.

One guy stares me down, then calls me over and starts swearing at me for no reason. He’s telling me that “losers like you could never even get into a venue like this.” He obviously had no idea I was the manager. The guy kept telling me he would punch me out, and was clearly trying to look macho to impress someone. So I showed him who was boss in the best way.

I agreed and told him to come and meet me outside and he could even have a free swing. He puts his drink down, takes off his jacket, and storms outside. Once he walked outside, I walked back inside and told security not to let him back in. The look on his face when he realized I ran the place was priceless, and then the realization that he couldn’t get back into the club was amazing. It was the easiest and most fun removal I have ever done.

rushn006

19. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Some jerk in a Humvee decided to park in a handicap spot at a Kroger. I was young at the time and out riding with my dad, who was a repo man…driving his repo truck. My dad towed the Humvee to a parking spot on the opposite side of the parking lot. We then waited until the owner came out and looked around in disbelief.

She thought someone took her car. My dad drove right up to her, rolled down the window, and said, “Are you ok, miss?” The woman said, all concerned, “My car was taken by someone.” My dad replied very coolly to her, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have parked it in a handicap spot,” gave her a smile and drove off.

steffanlv

20. A Dog-Eat-Dog World

I’m walking in the city with my two dogs. They’re normal-sized dogs, as in, they’re not fat like so many overfed city dogs. A woman walks past me across the street. Without any warning, she stops and yells at me: “Your dogs look really skinny! They aren’t properly fed!” with an angry look on her face and like I’ve just done something to her.

This rude witch is obviously pre-angry about something unrelated to me and just wants to take it out on someone. But I do not take stuff like that from strangers. I am also angry. My dogs most likely consume more calories than me. I feed them with high quality, homemade food, plus raw meat and bones. Have you ever seen how a big dog reacts to raw meat? It’s dog heaven.

Luckily, this is one of those rare moments of instant clarity. I shout back my rebuttal: “I can’t say the same about you!” That feeling when I walked away grinning. There were several passers-by who witnessed the scene. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one who got a smile out of it.

imaami

21. Good Things Take Time

While working at McDonald’s, a rude customer asked me to “MAKE IT AGAIN” and started to go off on me. I almost snapped on him, but instead, I threw my hands up and told my manager to handle it. The manager talked to him, then came back to me and said the guy was a regular jerk who comes in all the time. He told me to just make him another coffee.

I walked to the drive-thru window with this jerk fuming in his car next to me, talking about how long this was taking. So I picked up the half-full pot of coffee I made no more than four minutes ago and dumped it out. I proceeded to brew a whole new pot of coffee, just for him. I saw this made him extremely angry, so I went to the window and told him that it’s going to be another 5-6 minutes because that last pot was bad. He then peeled out of the drive-thru.

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22. The Letter of the Law

I was crossing the street and some guy tried to run over me, and then stopped his car to yell at me. Little did he know, I was a law school student at that time, so I cited some (imaginary) section of the state vehicle code at him. He stared at me for a few seconds, then said, “I’m sorry miss” and drove away with his tail between his legs.

zzzwhat

23. Do You Even Lift, Bro?

This jerk in the gym was once making some 14-year-old kids feel bad, telling them to put some “man weights” on the bar and stop lifting light, things like that. Every time they found a new workout, he comes and repeats the process, trying to embarrass them. I was annoyed but tired, and let it slide….the first time it happened.

Only it happened again.. The same kids came in two days later, and he was there also. He starts doing exactly what he did before. Well, that was it. I walked up right next to him, doubled what he was lifting, and repeated everything he had said to the kids in the last five minutes all while staring at him right in his stupid face.

He quickly moved on and went to another exercise. But I wasn’t done yet. The kids were looking at me like I was Batman. I followed the guy to the next three exercises and did as he had done, saying the same things. Then he left. Never saw him at the gym again, but those boys sure came back and have been making steady gains for over a year now.

fightmeimjackedirl

24. Do Not Pass “Go”

When I was working at a bad job in my younger days, a customer was upset that he had to wait in line like everyone else before being able to make his purchase. He actually said, “Do you know who I am? I own hotels!” To which I replied, “Well sir, I’m sorry, but this isn’t Monopoly, this is Krispy Kreme.” He was not pleased.

TheGentleWookie

25. How Do You Like Them Cookies

At the end of a long commute home after a hard week, I went to a Millie’s Cookies store just before closing time. As I walked up to the counter, some guy ran from behind me and tried to cut in front of me. The girl working there insisted I was first, thankfully. Outraged and noticing there weren’t many cookies left, I said, “Hi, I’ll take absolutely everything you have.” Cost me close to $60, but it was so worth it.

shuffledy

26. You Don’t Have to Go Home But You Can’t Stay Here

I was out at the local watering hole with a group of girlfriends. The group became larger and larger with time. After a while, I got semi-separated from my fiancé. At this point, I was introduced to a guy, we’ll call him Bob. The introduction went like this… “Bob, this is Sarah, Sarah, Bob.” His reply chilled me to the bone.

He says, “Every Sarah I’ve ever met sucks.” Now, I don’t get bent out of shape without good reason, so I just brush it off as banter, or maybe a recent breakup with a Sarah, and say, “Hah, well, nice to meet you anyway, Bob” and shook his hand. But it didn’t end there. The rest of the night, he would go to the bar, walk back, and give me the stink eye.

For whatever reason, he didn’t like me. The feeling was becoming mutual, and I decided ignoring him would probably be best. He was certainly not in his right mindset…right? A few hours passed and I was sitting by his female friend, having fun talking and giggling. He then puts his elbows on the table in between us, staring at me like I had done him wrong.

I just kept on with our conversation and ignored him. He then puts his nasty face right next to mine and say, “So, do you suck?” My temper got the best of me. I yelled, “NO, and what is your problem exactly? I’ve been doing my best to ignore you. Get a clue.” He then actually chest bumped me and said “Do you wanna go?!?!”

I’m all for equal rights, but this was the first time an able-bodied adult male has asked me, a girl, if I wanted to throw down. But I knew what to do. I walk over a few steps to my fiancé, who is talking to a bouncer friend of ours, and said, “This guy says he wants to fight me.” The bouncer looks at him, gives a hand signal, and five bouncers surround him. He was “escorted” out of the bar.

psychocentric

27. Do a Little, Pay a Lot

I work at a grocery store wrangling shopping carts. If I ever saw someone put a cart in front of their car instead of walking the 15 feet to put it away, I would grab my line of carts and block them in. I would proceed to take the longest time ever to gather their cart while pretending not to notice them sitting in a running vehicle.

Gtownbad

28. The Wrong Impression

I was working as a shift leader in a Dunkin’ Donuts and dealt with my fair share of rude jerks. On one particularly memorable day, a group of ladies came in during our busiest hour, just past noon. The line was almost out the door and we were short-staffed, so it was pretty hectic. While they were ordering, one of them asked for a job application and started filling it out on the counter.

She handed it back before they were done ordering and I stashed it on a shelf under the register and started making their food. They had a huge order and we did our best to get it out quickly, but it was obvious from the looks on their faces that we just weren’t quick enough for their liking. They sat down to eat their food, and the girl who just turned in her application got back in line.

I spotted her right away; she was standing with a glaring face, crossing her arms and tapping her foot, trying her best to look obviously angry. So I motioned for her to come up to the counter, since I knew she had a complaint and I wanted to get it fixed right away. I assumed that in the shuffle we had messed up her sandwich or something like that. Oh no.

I asked her what was wrong, and she pointed to her BOTTLED Mountain Dew and barked “THIS IS FLAT!” It was a bit accusing, as though it were my fault that the bottle of soda she just opened was flat. So I took it and told her to get another one out of the cooler, then check it to make sure it was good. After all that, she asked for a refund.

I said, as politely as I could, “Ma’am, I replaced your soda, sorry if there was an inconvenience but I don’t think a refund should be necessary.” So she stormed back to her table, obviously just fuming from this totally normal exchange, and started complaining loudly to her group about not getting a refund for the “flat” soda.

So, since I was having an awful day anyway and really could not see a witch like this ever working for us, I grabbed her application from the register, walked it over to the lobby trashcan nearest to her table, crumpled it up, and threw it away as she watched. The look on her face was priceless, and I didn’t regret it for a second.

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29. Winding Her up

I was walking down the street with a cig in hand when I see a woman eating on the sidewalk patio and eyeballing me. I was still 30 feet away, and she was waving her hand in front of her nose and pointing for me to cross the street. Instead, I walked past her…and managed to cut a nice audible toot right next to her as I kept walking. I was proud.

bennyha12

30. Standing up for the Little Guy

I play poker a lot. In one casino, there is a ridiculously loud obnoxious jerk who plays regularly. He fist pumps and yells when he sucks out on people. Totally uncouth. To top it off, he is a larger guy and he tries to physically intimidate everyone. Now, I am not a small guy in the slightest, but when I’m relatively clean-cut, I look very unintimidating.

I am polite and friendly, know most of the dealers and half the patrons by name. What this jerk doesn’t know, however, is that I know how to handle myself both in a battle of verbal wit and physical fists. So one day, he was being his typical self and I finally had enough. He is verbally berating another player at the table for their “terrible call.”

So I just burst out: “Mike buddy, I’ve been meaning to ask you. How’s that violent case of herpes?” The table sits in silence. He never bothered me or anyone else the rest of that month.

3rdramdeep

31. De-Escalating

I’m a barista, and if you’re rude to me or to my other customers, you’ll get a decaf drink.

morethanflower

32. Fire and Brimstone

I was a motorcycle courier throughout university. Often, people tapped their ashes out their window so they’d land on me. It was rude and annoying and dirty, but I got used to it. Then one time, I was filtering through stopped traffic when I saw an ember. I just saw red. I stopped next to their car, picked up the driver’s cig, and threw it back through the driver’s window onto the back seat, just so they got a taste of their own medicine.

hubbahubbahobo

33. Movie Magic

I was sitting in a movie theater and people asked me to save two seats in the middle of my row. The people asking were elderly and needed to go to the bathroom. The whole row was filled up too, so I figured it’d be easy to save. I sat there for a while when a busty lady made her way up the row and stopped right next to me, at which point she looks at me and says “Can you move.”

I smile with all the awkward tension and said, “Sorry, those are being saved.” Then the lady does something unbelievable. She sort of tries to jam her way past my legs in a mad attempt to get to the seat. Her boyfriend was just standing there. I look at her, flabbergasted, and simply say again “Those seats are saved.”

And then I kid you not, she snapped her fingers in my face and said “WATCH ME.” At that point, everyone in the theater was watching, and I was having none of this. I could tell she was getting ready for another attempt, so I slumped down in my chair and put my hands towards the seat in front of me to block her, and she was forced to sort of run into my legs a few times.

I looked at her boyfriend. He rolled his eyes and said, “Come on, let’s go.” Best part was, after the whole episode was over and the elderly couple had returned, the people behind me asked me to save their seats, because they thought “If anyone could handle it, it would be me.” I felt like the hero of the movie theater that fateful day.

RyanGee

34. I Vote No

Just the other day, I was at a Chinese buffet and the three people in the booth next to me were questioning the waitress about voting. She had trouble understanding them and communicating that she could not vote. They then immediately began taunting. After the waitress walked off, one of the girls at the table looked up and asked me where I worked, because I looked familiar.

When I replied that I worked at the local university in the social work department, she commented that she had recently been in my office to apply to our program. So I replied, “Yes, I remember you and I’m also on the admissions committee.” The color drained from her face, and she knew she was screwed. Karma’s a witch.

Instantwinner1

35. Lock and Load

This guy got out of his car to express some road rage to me after we’d had an altercation while driving. I just got out of my truck, walked past him, pushed the lock button on his door, closed it, and walked past him again. Then I got back in my truck and drove off. He seemed to be frozen with confusion the entire time.

Tristan2353

36. Patience Is a Virtue

I was next in a pretty long line at the grocery store. This woman behind me was making a huge fuss about them needing to open more registers, and she was swearing and muttering under her breath. When a second clerk appeared at the next kiosk to open another register, he looks at me and says, “I can help the next person in line, sir.”

The mumbling witch behind me saw the clerk coming and had backed her cart up and was rushing for the register before he even spoke. I saw the woman barreling toward the open register, and swiftly pushed a cart over to block her path. Her face got so red, it looked like she was going to explode as she nearly collided with the cart.

I just looked at her and said in the most innocent voice I have “Oops, he did call for next in line, though.”

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37. Babies, You’ve Got to Be Kind

I work for a rental car company, and if you call me up at the end of the day demanding that I deliver you a car—all while cursing at me—you will be left stranded on the side of the road and I will not lose even a little sleep about it. However, if I’m moments from closing and you’re nice and polite, I will go out of my way to help you and stay after we close if I have to.

The1Hokney

38. Special Delivery

Every year, my dad would wrap a month’s worth of trash as gifts. He made them look all nice and professional. He’d then drive to the bad section of town with all the “presents” in the bed of his truck. He’d go grab a coffee at the shop across the street and wait for the hoodlums to take the Christmas “gifts.” My dad? Not a nice guy.

steffanlv

39. I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

I called out a guy for parking in a handicapped spot while his able-bodied girlfriend walked into a 7-11. When he got out of the car like he wanted to fight, he wasn’t prepared for what happened. I work construction, and my three HUGE co-workers got out of our car as well and walked behind me. The guy shrunk back in and backed out of the spot.

downvote_allmy_posts

40. Wait Your Turn

I was in a massive line at a store. I’m next in line, but the person in front of me has a bunch of stuff. A helpful clerk sees the mess and opens another aisle, saying, “I can help the next customer.” Well, that’s me. However, as I’m stepping over to her counter, this jerk from the very end of my line is sprinting to her counter, pushing people, with his partner in tow.

He arrives right before me. They have a mountain of items in their cart, which he starts throwing on the checkout counter immediately. I’m standing there on the other side with my one item, burning with rage. But the checkout girl got him good. She waits until he stacks all of his stuff on the counter, looks at me, looks at him, and says to him, “I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to go to the end of the line.”

This line is now massive. I put on my biggest grin, made eye contact with him as long as possible, and loudly told the clerk how awesome she was.

IsaidMarkItEIGHT

41. Girl Power

My sister and I worked for Circuit City. There was an angry male customer she was dealing with who demanded to speak to the manager. When she went to get the manager, Laurie, the customer rebuffed her, saying a woman couldn’t help him and demanding to speak to yet another manager. So she got her manager Ruthanne.

He was so mad at this point and yelled, “Don’t any men work in this store?” I’m listening to this, so I walk out and say in my most feminine voice possible, “Hello sir, can I help you?” He screamed and left the store.

mastad0420

42. Don’t Tick Me off

I work for parking services at a decent-sized university. I don’t write tickets, I just man the front desk, answer questions, and enter permits and changes into our database. We get yelled at a lot, but one woman made all the other rude customers look like saints. This witch comes in raising Cain over some tickets she rightfully got.

She was being so rude about the whole situation, but I politely looked up her account to see if I can find any errors or anything that might help her. She’s yelling at me the entire time I’m trying to look it up. So when I see that for some reason the tickets she got aren’t even linked to her account…I decide to do the opposite of helping her.

I ask to see her last ticket “so I can check if everything is right.” Little does she know, with the information I got from the ticket, I transferred all of those tickets she got onto her account. If she would have been nice about the whole thing, she would have probably gotten away without ever having to pay those, but now she has a few hundred bucks worth of tickets.

PetNutH3ad

43. Cashing in

Years ago I was in a grocery store express checkout line, and the line was long. The guy behind me starts huffing and puffing about people using their credit cards. “Doesn’t anyone use cash anymore?” “They should have a cash-only line.” As more people use their cards, he gets louder and louder about his dumb complaint.

I was buying a $1.25 pack of gum and had $2 cash in my hand. It was too easy. As I rang up my gum, I put the $2 back in my wallet and pulled out my credit card. The look on his face? PRICELESS!! Even the cashier had to chuckle as she handed me the receipt and the guy swore as I signed it and handed it back. Made my day!

Yomat

44. Courtesy Call

I’m a temp worker, and often, part of my job is manning the phones and preventing time-wasting calls from getting through to my boss. These calls can be from agencies trying to place staff or people trying to sell services we don’t want. They try pretty hard to get through, and I often hear “Hey it’s Mark—can I just have a quick word with Tony? He’s expecting my call.”

You know, something like that. Funnily, most people call the boss Anthony, and he’s very specific about not being bothered in meetings. This or some other telltale thing shows that the caller is lying. Not only do they not care about disturbing my very busy manager, they’re trying to pull a fast one on me. So I get them every time. I tend to say “Are you happy to hold?’ then check back five minutes later with “I’m sorry, Tony is still all tied up. Are you happy to continue to hold?’ My record is half an hour.

Amonette

45. Can’t Say I Didn’t Try

I work in loan collections, and most of my customers are horrifically rude. Sometimes during a really bad phone call, a customer will yell at me in a stream of awful words and then just hang up before I get a chance to tell them I’m trying to prevent a repo on their car. That’s when I call it a day and process them for a repo anyway.

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46. Be Careful What You Wish for

Someone called in during a busy day at work requesting that I fax an invoice. Almost immediately after, they called again and again, about 10 times in 15 minutes, asking why they hadn’t received it yet. I faxed them a copy on the hour every hour for the next day or two.

roadtrip-ne

47. A Game of Telephone

I work in local theater, and we have a lot of rude, awful women from the nearby ballet schools come through our venue; they’re generally the mothers of the dancers so you know, those awful controlling dance moms you see on TV. Once, this woman rang up wanting seats to an almost sold-out ballet performance that had been on sale for four months the day before the show. It did not go well.

She did nothing but scream at me for five minutes because she left buying them too late, whined about how she shouldn’t have to pay to see her kids, whined that we should get a bigger venue, then put me on hold while she rang three of her relatives to see if they wanted seats too. She was positively horrific to me.

The seats I was about to sell her were the only ones in the theater left, and they were actually good seats. While I’m on hold, a grandma of one of the ballerinas comes to the desk and asks nicely if we have any seats left, as she’d been in hospital and couldn’t buy them earlier. She said she’d understand if we were booked out.

This awful woman still has me on hold, so I put the phone down and sold this old lady the last seats for the show, then gave her an invite to our next year’s dance season so she’d know exactly when all the important dates were coming. She thanked me over and over, and she’s now one of our regulars and brings her grandkids to our shows. Meanwhile, this other lady…

Two minutes after the old lady leaves, the witch on the other end finally takes me off hold and says she wants the remaining seats that we have left, I tell her “Sorry, we’ve just sold out while you had me on hold I’m afraid, better luck next year, anything else I can help you with?” She was choking with rage on the other end of the phone, it was fantastic.

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48. You Get What You Give

When I have a rude customer, I just watch their face after I tell them, “May the rest of the day be as pleasant as you are.”

kalagula

49. If the Shoe Fits

I worked at the shoe store Fayva, and we took back everything, no matter what. A stupid policy, but then again, Fayva isn’t in business anymore. One day, a woman walks in during Communion season, returning a pair of boys’ dress shoes she bought three days earlier. The kid must have played football in them after the ceremony—they were covered in mud, grease, and scuffmarks.

This was the ONE person I refused to refund my entire time there. She went crazy on me. Yelling, screaming, demanding a manager. So, my manager comes up behind me, and I just know he’s going to give this woman her money, and I know she’s going to smirk at me as she exits the store. I actually braced for it. Something even better happened.

Instead, my manager Mike walks up, takes one look at the shoes, and tells the woman “Nope.” She goes bananas on him now, telling him, “My son wore these shoes ONCE, to his communion, and they fell apart like this?” To which Mike calmly says: “Ma’am, it looks like your son wore these shoes to the Norman invasion.”

shakakka99

50. Hotel Havoc

I used to work as a front desk agent at a boutique hotel. A guy who was obviously very full of himself came in with an online reservation that he had booked at a shockingly cheap nightly rate. He proceeded to give me a hard time about EVERYTHING, from telling me he shouldn’t have to give me his credit card info since he had prepaid his reservation, to telling me “Um yeah, I’m pretty sure I can find the elevators, I’m not stupid.”

He was just being an all-around jerk. About 10 minutes after checking him in, he came down and demanded that we give him a bigger room with a king bed and a view, even though he had booked a standard queen bed online. I complied, as we had extra king beds available. 10 minutes later, he came down again to complain about the size of the room.

He told me, “I’m only going to give you one more chance to make me happy,” and asked for the general manager. After much arguing between him and my manager, we ended up giving him our nicest suite AND free parking since we had “Given him trouble.” He got all this for a way cheaper rate, like $40 per night! Oh, but he outdid himself.

Get this: He informed us shortly after the ordeal, while on his way out to dinner, that he was not even going to be in the room for the majority of his stay, as he was visiting friends and would be staying at their home. What the heck! So I made it my personal mission to make his life a living nightmare from that point on.

I reset his room keys every time I saw him leave the hotel—which was quite frequently, 3-4 times a day. It was particularly funny when he came back tired from a night out and had to come all the way down to the front desk to get his keys fixed. Needless to say, he was very frustrated by the end of his stay. I doubt he’ll be staying with us again.

rosaliezom

Sources: 1, 2

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