Everyone experiences moments that seem to defy everything we understand about life. From one-in-a-million coincidences to brushes with death, these incredible, jaw-dropping stories made us say “No way!”
1. Way to Turn It Around
When I was 17, I worked for an excavation/demolition company during the summer. We were gutting an old mill in New Hampshire that would be turned into high-end lofts. One of the workers was standing on the top of some scaffold about 12-15 feet high using a handheld band saw and cutting into a large pipe.
As he was cutting, the pipe strap broke, and then the saw shot back into him and pushed him off the scaffold. This guy reacted in the most legendary way. He casually did a complete backflip while holding a working saw from 10 feet up. He landed on his feet with the saw still running. We stopped and stared at him for about five seconds and started working again.
2. The Sky Is the Limit
I was flying 1,100 miles for an interview when I heard someone across the aisle yell my name. I thought the voice sounded familiar. It was one of my good friends from college. I’m thinking no way?! It turned out that not only were we on the same flight, but we were also actually traveling for the same interview, and we stayed next door at the same hotel. Now, we’re housemates because we both got the job.
3. Not So Subtle
My brother’s friends are twins and friends with the Bush twins. They were invited to their birthday party at the White House. It was a gag gift party. Passing through the metal detectors, the Secret Service inspected the gift. He pulled out comically giant adult toys. They stared down at them before laughing really hard and letting them into the party.
4. Saving My Own Life
My friend John got into a really bad car accident and went into cardiac arrest. The paramedics were dispatched to the scene to try to save John’s life. Thankfully, the first person who arrived knew CPR and initiated chest compression on John. John was revived and, although he suffered severe memory loss, he’s doing well. The coolest part? As part of his job, John trained paramedics. He had taught CPR to the guy who saved his life just a week before his accident.
5. Don’t Mess with the Old Man
I was walking my older dog one night around 10. I had him off leash since it was late and we were in a quiet neighborhood with no one to bother us. Suddenly, he stopped and dove into a bush. This was odd since he was almost ten, and although he’s active, he’s not crazy like that. Out of the bush came some sort of snarl/scream. I thought he caught a raccoon, but when I saw what he really had, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
Out leapt a young mountain lion, which was at least 20% larger than my dog. The mountain lion (!) ran off and went down the road, and I stood there terrified yelling, “NO FREAKING WAY,” as my dog came back to me wagging his tail as if he was the greatest dog ever. That night, my good boy received what was probably his most well-earned rawhide bone of all time.
6. Real Life Examples
A friend of an old roommate was at the airport a few years ago and saw Bill Nye the Science Guy at the next terminal over. Eventually, he got up the courage to talk to him, but it was nothing more than just small chat and admiration. Bill’s flight started to seat passengers, and the kid went to leave. He went sitting back down and tried to digest just how cool his life became. After a few minutes go by, all of a sudden out of the blue, the kid heard someone calling out his name.
Bill Nye was standing at the gate about to board the plane and called out, “Hey kid, science rules!” then he left for his flight.
7. Getting Venison Trouble
My sister was driving down the street at 45 MPH with her windows open, and a small deer ran into the road. Instead of hitting this deer, the deer jumped into her car through the window and landed with its head in the foot part of the passenger side seat, and its bottom on the headrest. The deer was freaking out intensely and in its panic, with its bum in the air, took a poo all over the car.
At this point, my sister pulled over; several people stopped to help and asked her where the deer was. She just stood there screaming, “IT’S IN THE CAR! IT’S IN THE CAR!” A helpful man opened the passenger’s side door and pulled the deer out. While my sister is hyper-ventilating about her filthy car, the deer immediately recovered and bounded off like nothing happened.
8. In Ankle Deep
I was walking back to my car from work when I saw a guy laying on the river bank. He looked incredibly sick and was bright red from laying in the sun. I asked him if he was all right, and he could only gurgle something. I gave him water and food while I waited for the authorities to get there and deal with him. When they arrived, things took a turn for the worse.
Apparently, the guy had been causing mayhem by going around and flashing people. The authorities had been called about him a bunch and couldn’t find him…until I asked them to come help out a sunburnt guy on the river bank.
9. Slick Thinking
One winter, I went sledding down a popular hill in my home town with my brother and his wife. At the bottom of the hill, there’s a frozen pond. My sister-in-law hopped on the back of my sled sitting backward, and we went down together. Because of the extra mass, we started going way faster than I’d expected.
That’s when I noticed we were heading right toward a little kid. I just couldn’t maneuver out of the way, so I leaned forward and scooped the kid up, holding him up in the air like freaking Simba. Then I realized that we were still about to sled into a frozen pond, so I bailed. I jumped off of the sled and held the kid as high over my head as I possibly could to try to keep him safe.
I stood up, set the kid down, and looked around for his parents. I saw a huge dude coming, and I was like oh no, here we go. He got closer, and then I realized it’s of my closest friends. The kid was his son that I used to babysit. I thought, “No way!” and gave him a big hug. The kid said he thought the whole thing was “awesome.”
10. Drop Red Gorgeous
I was with my best friend at a grocery store in the summer. She was wearing a sundress and has quite the chest. At an intersection, a motorcyclist passed us, checked out my friend, and gassed it around the cars to impress her. Seconds later, we heard a big bang. He’d hit a pole while speeding—but that’s not even the craziest part.
The poor guy actually died…all because he was trying to show off.
11. The Heart Wants What It Wants
My husband and I were interested in getting a dog, so we decided to go to our town’s annual Pet Expo to get some information about breeds, adoption, supplies, etc. It wasn’t actually that helpful, but as we were leaving, I noticed some booths on the outskirts of the expo that we missed. One had a little brown dog who really caught my eye. He was just the most perfect puppy I had ever seen. His big brown eyes were full of intelligence.
I talked to the woman at the booth who told me that they volunteered for a non-profit rescue organization. She said that unfortunately, the dog I had just fallen in love with wasn’t available for adoption. So, I petted the little guy and then left but found myself thinking about him a lot over the next few weeks. I hoped I would be able to find one just like him, but when we went to the humane society, we struck out week after week. None of the dogs felt like they would fit our little family.
Then, one day, everything changed. I half-heartedly browsed Craigslist’s pet ads and saw that an adoption event was just a few towns away. We went expecting disappointment. At first, that’s what we got. But then, just as we turned around to go home, a white van pulled into the parking lot. The driver got out, and he let out a little brown dog. I immediately started walking toward the pup. I just knew I recognized him.
As I walked faster and faster to the van, I immediately remembered where I had seen him before. I shouted to my husband, “It’s him! It’s my dog!” It turned out that he was the dog from the expo and the last of his litter to find a home. Because he was shy and looked unusual, no one else had wanted to adopt him and bring him home. But I thought he was beautiful.
We knew that he was coming home with us and was joining our small family. Within the hour, he was buckled in the backseat of our car in his doggie seatbelt on his way to his new home.
12. Did Anyone Mordor a Reenactment?
A good friend of mine was waiting in a Canadian airport bookshop waiting to get a flight back to the UK with his family. My friend and his brother really loved Lord of the Rings at the time, and Ian McKellen was across the room! They went to approach him, and he looked over and saw that they’d recognized him.
So, right then and there, to the surprise of everyone around in the vicinity, Ian McKellen performed an impromptu rendition of the Bridge of Khazad Dum scene complete with the iconic, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!” right in the middle of the crowded airport. After that cool performance, he gave them all autographs.
13. The Apple Don’t Fall Too Far from the Sheets
One of my friends went on vacation with his dad over the winter break. While in the hotel lobby, my buddy started chatting with this stunning young blonde. They eventually went upstairs to her room to get some alone time. My buddy was having a great vacation so far, but then everything went so wrong. Later that night, my friend and his dad were in their room when they heard a knock. His dad opened it and immediately got punched in the face…by the man who turned out to be the blonde lady’s husband.
My friend felt horrible that his dad got punched because of him, so after the husband left, he sat his dad down and apologized. Confused, his dad asked him why he was sorry. My friend told him he’d slept with the blonde chick. Then there was this horrible awkward silence before his dad asked, “The blonde girl? In room 334?” My buddy turns white as a sheet as his dad reveals that he had slept with her too. Yup. Father and son are now Eskimo brothers.
14. Letting It Dangle
I lost my dongle for my laptop charger sometime during my first week of junior year. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I went back to my room, and my roommate asked how my day went. I told him about losing my dongle and looking for it everywhere then he made the weirdest look on his face. He asked me, “Was it black and about this long?” while holding his fingers apart.
I told him yes, but I figured he was just messing with me. He asked me, “Did it have a yellow tip with a little white strip attached to it saying, ‘HP’?” I said yes again, but I still figure he’s messing with me. He stared at me. Then he went, “dude, I’m so sorry, but when I was leaving the caf this morning I see this little black thing on the sidewalk. I pick it up and start looking at it. For some reason, and I can’t explain why I did it, but as I was passing the dumpster I just blurt out ‘sucks for this guy’ and throw it right in.”
He insisted that he really wasn’t messing with me, so we put on some old clothes and went dumpster diving. It only took us about 20 minutes to find it. Of the 2,000 plus students that attend my university, the person to find it and, like a jerk face, throw it away, was not a stranger but my very own roommate.
15. Love Languages
Back in 2006, my brother and I were in Berlin just walking around. Then two Russian girls came and asked us out, but they were speaking in Russian. Confused, we responded in English but got nothing. After speaking in German, we figured out that they actually just wanted someone to take their picture for them. As we obliged, we all got to talking and hung out for the rest of the day. After dinner, we said goodbye and parted ways.
Then, in 2010, I was using an app to learn Russian. Out of boredom, I clicked the link reviewing English submissions. I saw some girl who was practicing ordering food in the app’s restaurant. I looked at the display picture and thought, “this girl’s hot.” I clicked her profile and thought, “Okay…this girl looks really familiar.” I sent her a message, and after we started exchanging this and that, it’s the same girl from Berlin! We got together in Holland over the summer, and I think she’s the one.
16. Probability Going to Lose
I was in physics class, and my teacher had made a Kahoot for extra credit. My friends and I were just fooling around and about five questions in, I joked saying I was just going to randomly select an answer until I got it wrong. When I got the test back, my jaw hit the floor. I got a correct answer streak of 30 questions in a row in a 35 question Kahoot quiz.
17. Sup, Bro?
While visiting family in Michigan for a reunion, there was a controversial rally in the small town where we were staying. As a young black teenager, it was really scary since the people rallying were into pointy white hoods, if you know what I mean. As they were chanting, I decided to hide out in the grocery store where six other black people were laying low too. Little did I know, that day would change my life.
I made eye contact with a guy who looked almost exactly like me but just slightly older. We got to talking and he said he was on a road trip with friends from Florida, just driving through the town. I told him that I was born there, adopted, and then moved to California, and I was just back for a family reunion. The guy was immediately curious about my adoption, so I told him my biological mother’s name and explained that she was a teen mom who just couldn’t take care of me at that age.
After he heard this, the guy pulled out a picture of his mother at her high school prom. I reached for my wallet, numb with incredulity, as my fingers pulled out the exact same photo. We have the same mom. We’re long lost brothers.
18. The Real Wheel
I was at a car show, and I was raising my hand so my parents could see that I was still next to the old Cadillac Batmobile. The next thing I know, someone high-fived me. I looked over, and it was freaking Adam West, Batman himself! He winked, smiled, and walked away to do more signings or whatever else Batman has to go. It was glorious.
19. Fairy Godmother
When I was 16, my mom took me to NYC for my birthday. We left on a Wednesday and were flying back Saturday afternoon so I could go to school and my mom could watch my baby sister. We got on the plane, it rolled onto the tarmac, and we stayed there for approximately four hours without moving or an explanation. The plane then took us back to the gate and said that actually, the flight was canceled.
WELL, my mom and I freaked out to say the least as it was pretty imperative that we got home as soon as possible. All the passengers rushed off the airplane and got in a line to figure out alternatives. My mom and I started to complain about our situation. We mentioned my baby sister who has Down Syndrome, and the lady behind us in line interrupted and said she has a brother with a similar genetic disorder as well.
After we’d chatted for a while, this lady nonchalantly mentioned that she has a private jet and was only flying home on that airline to use up her frequent flier miles. She said that she sympathized with our situation, and asked if we’d like to fly home on her private jet early in the morning. My mom and I couldn’t even believe our ears. Then the lady proceeded to pay for us to stay in a nice hotel that night, took us out to dinner for a delicious steak dinner, and flew us home on her private jet early the next morning. And that is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.
20. God’s Plan
I worked at a small restaurant on the shore of Lake Superior during the summer of my junior year. The woman who owned it was an ultra-conservative fundamentalist Christian. After a whole summer full of craziness, I’d had enough and wanted to go on a trip, so my brother and I and a friend decided to go see the Grand Canyon.
I told the owner that I had to work on a paper for Bible School and would like to leave a couple of weeks early. She was reluctant, but in the end, sent me off with her blessing because I was doing the Lord’s work. So, we headed out on a road trip to the Grand Canyon. As we pulled into a gas station by the park, guess who’s there: The owner that I lied to….and her entire family.
21. Driving People Away
I went driving with some friends around 1 AM, having a good time, playing music, just the usual. Then, up ahead, the traffic came to a crawl, which was weird since it was the middle of the night and no one was on the road. We looked out the windows and saw three Ford Focuses slowing down traffic on purpose.
My friend’s older brother hopped on the median and gassed it to the Focuses. We saw that it’s just a bunch of kids doing dumb stuff. The driver said, “oh, heck no!” He turned to my friend and said, “you know what to do.” He sped ahead of the three Focuses, pulled over to the side of the street, grabbed a cordless drill from the back of the car, jumped out, and unscrewed the license plate. I didn’t know what he was doing at the time, but looking back, it was amazing.
My friend got back in the car and we took off. We sped up to the Focuses, got onto the median, flipped off the annoying kids, then lightly bumped into one of the cars, causing it to crash into the others. The kids start freaking out, climbing over the airbags to assess the damage. Meanwhile, we’re howling with laughter as we speed away. Once we made it far enough, my buddy hopped out, put the license plate back on and popped the dent out. Those annoying kids had no idea what him them.
22. Crossing Long Paths
My girlfriend and I were visiting Italy and met this nice Australian girl on the train from Rome to Naples. She said she had left her friend in North Africa to travel solo. Two weeks later, we’re on a bus from Brasov, Romania to Bucharest, and we met the Australian girl’s friend that she left in North Africa! What are the chances??
23. Giving an Order
I used to deliver food for a local restaurant and was the only driver who worked nights. It was the day after Thanksgiving, and I was having an especially terrible night/week. I was busy with deliveries, which rarely got me any tips. It also looked like I was going to be about 150 dollars or so short on rent. I was literally ONE smart comment away from flipping out at the customers and quitting.
For one of my last deliveries of the night, I walked up to the house, and I rang the bell. Then I heard the shrieking call of rowdy young kids. I cursed my luck and tried to keep my cool as two boys ran around me in circles. The mom smiled at me and mouthed, “I’m sorry.” I gave her the food, and she handed me exact change. I cursed the service industry. But just when all hope was lost, I heard one of her little boys asking if he could give me my tip.
The boy reached into his pocket and gave me three crisp $100 bills. I was not amused. I told the lady that it looked like her son grabbed the wrong bills. But she just shook her head, said, “Don’t tell anyone,” winked, and told me “Merry Christmas.” Then they shut the door leaving me standing out in the cold and feeling a mixed state of shock and happiness.
I quietly drove back to the store, did my last delivery, cleaned up, and went home. I mentioned it to no one because I didn’t want anyone to get a share of my rent money! I was promoted a week later. Then after another a few more weeks, the same lady ordered something. I sent one of our newly hired drivers to her house to do the delivery. He came back with a $50 tip and was flipping out about it. I smiled to myself because I appreciated my secret tip lady with a heart of gold.
24. Double-Take What You Can
One day I was over at my brother’s place, and as usual, he was raving over his favorite book, Ray Bradbury’s, Something Wicked This Way Comes. He talked about how amazing it was and then asked about me. I shrugged and said, “Nothing” since, to be honest, it hadn’t been a great week. With a begrudging look on his face, my brother handed over his only copy and told me to enjoy it.
Thankful, I stashed the novel in my pocket, and we headed outside. On our way out, he stopped to check his mail. The contents were mind-blowing. There was a package in his mail and inside were two books, Something Wicked This Way Comes and Dandelion Wine, both signed and personalized for my brother from the author himself, Ray Bradbury.
It turned out his friend had done a show at a theater Bradbury regularly attends. Knowing how much my brother loved Bradbury, he asked him to sign a couple of books for his pal.
25. Meant to Bro
I was spending the summer in Nantucket. Some friends of mine introduced me to this guy named Robbie. We hit it off right away, and it was almost like instant bro love. We spent days in Nantucket kicking it, ripping bowls, and philosophizing. But the good times ended when he left, and we eventually lost touch. Then, a few years go by, and I’m on a subway in New York.
This guy I sort of recognized was in the same car. He came over and said, but it was my stop, and so I had to get off. The instant the doors closed, I realized the truth. It was Robbie! What?! The subway pulled away, and he was gone again. I was living in LA a few years later, and it was my friend Leslie’s birthday at some club down on Pico. We pulled up to the front door, I hopped out and a guy standing on the street said, “Hey! You!” It was Robbie who called out to me! We’ve been best friends ever since, and he was the best man at my wedding.
My former English teacher went camping with his friends on a bus, when he decided to take a nap. Just as he started waking up, he noticed a soda can flying through the air. He reached up to grab it and caught it in his hands. When he was more alert, his friends told him what happened. One of his buddies dropped a soda, and at the exact right moment, my old teacher woke up and caught it just before it spilled.
27. Addressing Our Relationship
I don’t ever remember not knowing my oldest and dearest friend. She went to University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, and I went to Michigan State University in East Lansing. About three years ago, I randomly decided to visit Ann Arbor with a couple of friends and was trying to find her to catch up and see her new place. I was walking and talking to her on the phone, and she mentioned that she lived on Ann St. I joked with her and said, “Ha! I live on Ann St. What a coincidence! We should do breakfast in the morning since we live down the street!”
She said, “Funny. Just get here. The address is 517,” and made me stop walking. I asked her, “Wait, your address is 517 Ann St?” She told me yes, so I told her, “MY address is 517 Ann St!” I got there and realized that not only did we have the EXACT same address in different cities, we also lived on the same intersection too! She lived on the corner of Ann and Division, which I did also!
28. Close to the Cut
I was 17 and was visiting the local fair with my best friend. We had gotten free ride bracelets, so we were making sure we jumped in line for everything we saw. About our fourth ride in, we arrived at The Zipper. Earlier in the day, my friend’s uncle had handed him a very large pocket knife for some odd jobs. My friend forgot to give the knife back to his uncle, and it remained in his pocket.
So we’re seated and rising to the top as the fellow fair-goers fill the other cages. As our cage began to speed up and fall backward, we clenched on tightly with excitement and got ready to start yelling with enthusiasm. As soon as our first whip around the bottom end of the ride started, the knife flew out, slammed onto the floor, and snapped open. It was like time stopped, and we stared at each other in horror knowing that an open blade was locked in the cage with us as we were about to be flipped around for a solid minute.
The noises coming from our mouths shifted to sheer panic screaming as we’re being shaken, flipped, and rattled. The knife was flying all over the place. It got the seat around us a few times, and we tried to move ourselves as it would constantly bounce off the cage and randomly go flying in another direction. The cage’s constant flipping threw off our dodging, and we just wished for it to be over soon. Luckily, near the end of the ride, the knife fell through the tiny gap between the door and cage and then landed in the grass. We looked around as we came to a halt. There were nicks on the seats, but we were untouched.
29. Roundabout Help
I was going to my old Taekwondo studio, taking classes, and visiting and working out with old friends when I met a new girl at the gym named Rita. Rita was very energetic, squeaky-voiced, and kind of flirty. I had hung out with her a couple of times, but I knew nothing was going to happen between us. I’d heard too many stories about her on and off boyfriend, and she just reeked of drama.
It turned out to be a good decision because she made an insane request to me. Rita and her boyfriend were apparently together again and having a bit of a pregnancy scare. They were considering their options. So, she asked me that day, if we find out that I am actually pregnant for real, do you think you could round-kick me in the stomach?” She even said it with a straight face. NO! WAY! From then on, she was one big pile of NOPE! in my eyes. I haven’t seen her since that day.
31. Feeling the Transcribes
I met a girl at a convention in Melbourne, Australia. We got on pretty well as friends, chatted for a while online, and then she decided to move to Ireland. We fell out of contact. Three months later, I found a service that allowed you to set up a crude chat-bot that could hold a simple conversation with someone. Bots could also chat with other bots to test them, and you get emailed a transcript. One day, I got a transcript in my inbox for a bot chatting to my bot.
It started with the usual introductory banter, but the way the other bot was talking seemed familiar. I checked the bot’s location. The bot was in Ireland. I messaged the bot’s owner, “Sam, is that you?” The response was, “[myname], what the heck?” Our bots had, somehow, randomly matched out of the tens of thousands currently active on the site. She eventually moved back to Australia, and that random bot-conversation was the catalyst that renewed our friendship.
32. Can’t Get Me That Easy
My grandfather used to work on the docks and unload huge ships. One day, a large crane came swinging around and suddenly knocked him clean over the large ship’s railing and down onto the pavement below. His colleagues surrounded his body, and one of them said, “Oh my god…I think Bob’s a goner.” To which my grandfather snapped back, “I’m fine! I’m not even knocked out.” He then proceeded to get and continue his day.
33. I Know a Guy
When I was in high school, I got pulled over FOR THE FIRST TIME ever while driving to a college interview in a full suit with a tie. I was very respectful, apologized to the officer, and explained that I was just nervous about getting to my big interview on time. The guy was a total jerk and just said, “speeding hurts,” as he ripped me a painful $300+ dollar ticket.
I worked at a department store at the time, and the day before had worked an 8-hour shift with a guy who had just retired as the local town’s chief. “What a crazy coincidence,” I thought to myself, as I came up with an ingenious plan. The next time I bumped into the ex-chief, I’d mention the ticket, hoping he could help me out. As I was leaving the store, I ran into him and told him about my bad day.
He was sympathetic and asked if I remembered the officer’s name, which I did. I learned that they were best friends and had eaten dinner together the day I was pulled over. It was less than an hour after ticketing or maybe on the way to his house. He told me his friend could be a jerk sometimes and told me to give him the ticket, and he could “make it go away.” He WANTED to do this for me because I “shouldn’t have to pay the increased car insurance premiums the rest of my life.”
34. One in the Bucket
I was playing fetch with my dog Teddy. I grabbed the toy from him and threw it on the bed really hard. Teddy got an epic running start, only to notice at the last second that the toy had gotten stuck in a crease and was a lot closer than he thought. To halt his jump, Teddy dug his paws in and tried to stop…only to flip back, hit the wall, and fall directly into the trashcan by the side of the bed. His legs were sticking up like a Looney Toons cartoon brought to life. I couldn’t stop laughing.
35. Showing Some Change
I was riding my bike home from a friend’s house, and it got dark fast. I didn’t have a light or any reflectors, so I went slow on the sidewalk, but then I saw my tire was flat. So, I walked to a closed gas station about 3 miles from home and tried using a payphone with the spare change I found on the ground. I realized that there was an ominous-looking dude behind me licking his lips and leaning against the wall. I left a message to get my dad’s attention, so he could come get me. It’s pitch black out with the only light from the gas station window. The guy was getting closer, and I thought it was the end for me.
I’d use my last dime after dialing home six times. The guy was still approaching and whispered, “Hey!” I scanned the ground for change. Eventually, I just started bawling. This guy touched my shoulder, and I thought of ways to get away. I faced him, and he had a lot of quarters, gave me some, and walked away. I finally got my mom on the phone, and she told me that my dad was already looking for me but forgot his cell phone.
So, my mom came to get me, and I was great. The next day, I was watching America’s Most Wanted, and it was the guy who gave me quarters! He’d been caught, but I wished I could have helped more.
36. Getting It Internet
My cousin, best friend, and I went up to Orlando to visit a good friend who had moved there recently to live with some dude that she met on the Internet. The fact that this was a guy who moved in with an online stranger should tell you about his character as well as ours. We’re not necessarily quality people. Our first stop was at my friend’s very new hubby’s mother’s house for lunch.
When we got there, a girl who was a friend of his was there, and we struck up a bit of conversation during dinner. We were all fooling around, making jokes, having a dandy ol’ time. After we left, I get a text from an unknown number. It said, “Hey, cutie.” I responded with, “Who is this?” to which she responded, “It’s me, so-and-so, gawd I just met you and you JUST forgot about me.” Then the levels of crazy went off the rafters with this one.
Me, however, being incredibly uncreative, told my cousin and my friend that we have made contact. We needed to put our collective wits together to make the most of this. So, we started to flirt through text, and we tried to come up with the wittiest responses. Wit became sensual. Around the fourth hour, things got raunchy. By the fifth hour, she’s like, “look, just come over and we can do this.” We just froze.
I turned the phone over to my cousin Keith. Now, Keith was born with a crippling disease. He was born with a debilitating lack of caring. I asked if he was ready to take on this most dastardly challenge. Keith grabbed the phone, got directions to her house, drove over, and she, confused, still let him inside.
37. Getting Away Fined
I was at a college party once when it was got shut down by the authorities. Since I was under 21, I had to worry about trying not to get caught. When I went upstairs to leave, I saw that the front door was already being covered by someone. So, I ran to the backdoor to check that one out. When I reached the end of the long dark hallway, I saw another guy standing there, leaning against the door. Doing my best to act sober, I made small talk and casually walked out the door without waiting for him to answer.
Once I got a little away from the house, I tried to get ahold of my friend who had been inside. I ended up finding him, and he explained to me that the person I’d snuck by and talked to was a freaking cop! Apparently, everyone else who tried to exit the back door were fined. I couldn’t believe it, no way! I’d like to think an angel from heaven was looking over me that night.
38. Glad You’re Okay
I was riding my bicycle home late one night using one hand to eating a pretty big burger. Suddenly three guys jumped out of the shadows and tried to take my ride. They beat me and held a knife to my throat. They broke my finger, and I had a few bumps and bruises, but the burger was comforting while I reported it.
38. Painful Displays of Affection
My best friend and her now-husband are extremely accident-prone during important parts of their relationship. The first time they met, she had joined a mountain biking club in college and majorly crashed leaving her with big scars on her elbows. A guy came up and helped her, and then they became best friends.
When he was going to propose to her, he wanted to take her hiking to a special spot. On the way to the spot, a pine needle scratched his eye, and they needed to hike back down, drive out of the park, and go to a hospital. After medical attention, they were able to return, and he proposed with a messed-up eye. Oh, but it gets worse.
The night before their wedding, he was driving her dad’s rental car for some reason and was t-boned. He and dad’s best friend were alright, but the car was totaled. Then the wedding went on the next day with everyone getting very little sleep. They’re having their first child soon and hopefully, it goes smoothly…but knowing them, it doesn’t sound likely.
39. Cursed with Gratefulness
At the release of last Harry Potter book, my friends and I showed up 12 hours early. I was, very literally, the first person in line. Since I had reserved a spot in advance, I was let inside before the midnight release, and everyone else waited outside. So, there were hundreds waiting outside to get the book. Once we had our copies, we had to pass the big crowd outside. One friend walked out first hugging his copy like it was worth a million dollars just in case someone tried to take it, but people cheered.
After seeing that happen, I went out and raised my copy to show everyone. People gave me a standing ovation.
40. Dreamt Date
I was really into one of my friends, but I could never work up the courage to ask her out. Then, she asked me out on a date, and I was so thrilled. The next morning, I texted, and I asked her if we were still down. She said she’d never asked me out, and I probably dreamed it, but she wouldn’t say no if I did.
41. Smart Enough Machines
I went to print something at my university. When I got to the printer, there was a line waiting for the printer. It’s usually pretty quick, so I walked over, and it was out of paper. I refilled it. It started printing, and everyone clapped. I was disappointed university students couldn’t figure out a printer.
42. Getting Chevy with It
A buddy of mine and his friends were driving through the countryside higher than lords when this Camaro roared behind them. It tailgated them for a while before backing off, and then it came back and screamed past them. My buddy and his friends flipped the guy off. There was a fork in the road two miles down, but because it’s in the country and country roads are usually just messed up, the intersection was a huge triangle. As they approach, a dark realization dawned: the Camaro was in the left lane waiting for them.
The guys, more petrified than wood, pulled up next to him. The driver gave my buddy this menacing look. The Camaro driver threw it into reverse, went about 20 yards back, braked, wheel screeched, put it into forward, and turning his head so he didn’t break eye contact with my buddy, ripped past their car and into the center of the intersection where he started to do donut after donut still staring at my friend.
After he finished doing five donuts, he suddenly stopped the Camaro. Then while he was still staring at my friend, the driver booked it down the road that veered left. Obviously, my buddy and his friends were terrified about what had just happened and went right. I think everyone pooped their pants a little that day.
43. Gotta Love the Feeling
In high school, I played tennis for the school team every Saturday morning. I got into the habit of putting on a bit of a “tough girl” act when I played my singles matches. I didn’t speak or smile much, and I gave firm handshakes. The only hole in the act was that my serve was like a big lollipop in the air. The ball would go high and land softly for the other girl to hit it back without batting an eyelid. I decided to practice my power-serve on court one weekend. I bounced the ball, threw high, and came down on that little green ball. The ball went in! It flew so fast that the girl screamed and tried to dodge it.
44. The Song That Never Ends
A few years ago, I had plans to see Nine Inch Nails in Massachusetts on their final tour with my friend and two of his friends. On the trip in, the M.I.A. song “Paper Planes” started to play, and three of us sang along obnoxiously loud, which annoyed the fourth guy. He really hated it, and he told us so, which ended up being bad idea. My friend decided to purchase five remixes of “Paper Planes” to annoy him on the way to Massachusetts. We also kept joking that we’d ask Trent Reznor to play it at the concert.
Well, on the day of the concert, and as the opening act played their set, the singer announced, “This next song isn’t on our album,” and launched into a cover of, you guessed it, “Paper Planes.” It took some time to sink in because I couldn’t believe the opening act really played it after we annoyed him about it.
45. Casting a Shadow of Doubt
My roommate had a big fish tank holding four cichlids. One of them, the pink one, was vicious and bothered the other ones. I hated that one. I had a dream that I caught the fish with a net, threw it in a pan and some butter, fried him up, and ate him. That morning, I discovered that the pink one wasn’t there! I looked all over the tank for him and just couldn’t find the little guy.
When my roommate got back, I told him about my “dream” and that the pink fish was missing. He looked visibly shaken and said, “Dude, I’m gonna start locking my bedroom door at night.” Days and weeks go by. I’m disturbed that I’m capable of “sleep eating” my roommate’s pets. Finally, I’m so overcome with anxiety that I decide to scour the tank, CSI style, looking for clues. I pressed my face against every square inch of the tank desperate to salvage some sanity.
After what seemed like at least an hour, something tiny catches my eye under a large piece of coral in the back corner. I reached in and pulled out the coral only to discover the bones of the pink cichlid. They had been wedged between the rocks and the coral on the bottom of the tank. Somehow the rest of the fish had gotten to the pink one and telepathically framed me for it. Not only did they frame me, they got me to confess.
46. See You Wherever
My friend Dan hosted two couch surfers from Germany at his place in Philadelphia. They came over for dinner one night, and I told one of the girls, Victoria, all about how soon I would be going to Germany to study abroad and how I was excited, blah, blah, blah. But we didn’t make any kind of plans to meet up. Then, five months later when I was studying in Dusseldorf, I decided on a whim to visit some of my grandparents’ friends in Hamburg.
Their eldest son asked me if I wanted to go for a driving tour of the city with him and his American girlfriend. I accepted the invitation, and we were driving along the “fischmarkt.” Then, his girlfriend pointed to something and said, “See those wicker chairs over there? Those are classic Hamburg style.” I looked over and saw a head poke out. It was one of the German couch surfers I had met, but this time we were halfway around the world. It was on a whim! All of it was such a coincidence!!
47. Morning Wood
For the 4th of July, my family was camping on the border of the boundary waters in Northern Minnesota. I’m an early to sleep early to rise kind of guy, so I decided to go to sleep while my family stayed up. The next morning, I got up and my whole family was in the front room wrapped in blankets looking tired. I asked if they had slept, and they said, “No.” I asked why not. They told me to go look outside.
I did, and the sight was unforgettable. All the trees had crashed to the ground. I fell asleep in a forest and woke up in a field. It turned out that I’d slept through Boundary Waters Canadian Derecho, which was high-speed winds that downed 475,000 acres of trees.
48. Talking to the Wrong Person
In Tokyo, I was out at a bar and talking to one of the only white women there when this huge linebacker-looking guy came over and tried starting an argument saying that she’s his girlfriend. I tried to say “my bad” and apologize, but he started throwing punches. Being a regular, I called the bartender’s name. He knew I wouldn’t start anything and had my back.
He and security got the guy in a hold and called for someone to come get him. They got there and took some statements. They asked him what he was doing in Japan. That’s how I overheard that he was on a business trip, and the company name caught my attention. My brother was back in the US working for the same 20,000-person firm.
I was kind of primed to hear the juicy gossip and caught his name. After the linebacker guy got taken away from the bar, I went home and skyped my brother. Without saying what happened, I asked, “Have you ever heard of [this name]?” He made a face and said, “Yeah, he was my boss until he transferred.” So, out of the whole company, not only did he know him, he’d worked for him. I said, “I bet he’ll be transferred out of international soon,” and told him the story. Days later, he told me, “You lose, he wasn’t transferred.” Dude got fired!
49. Thanks Big Sis
In grade 10 English class, the teacher didn’t have anything planned for us to do, and it was close to the end of the year, so she goes to the big cupboard in the corner and pulls out a stack of copies. They’re examples of successful essays written during a final exam, so we can learn what a good one looks like and how to build a narrative, etc.
The topic was “What was the most pivotal moment of your life?” There were three examples, ranging in proficiency. We read through the first two, and I volunteer to read the last one aloud. I start reading…and I stop. The essay was about…me. My big sister had gotten a really good mark six years earlier on her final exam essay which she wrote about the day I was born.
I got pretty emotional about that one.
50. Revealing Too Much
On the day of an economics mid-term, all 300 students had to go to a big lecture hall to take the test. Because it was such a big group, the professor had to use a microphone to give us instructions. So after giving this whole speech about the exam, he bid us all good luck and left the lecture to go do some work in his office next door.
Well, he didn’t realize one important thing: He had left his microphone on, so while the entire class was silently writing the exam, we listened to the events that unfolded inside his office. We heard the brief muffled conversation between him and the female TA of our class. Then that conversation stopped. We all realize that they’re being intimate.
The TA’s quieted moans were magnified on the speakers in the lecture hall. The entire class stayed silent. Then, the professor swore loudly and abruptly shut off the microphone. Later, as if nothing had happened, the professor came inside. He was fired a week later.