Weddings are expensive and nerve-wracking, but they're also supposed to be totally worth it. Well, what happens when everything goes wrong? Here are weddings that were doomed before the even began.
1. When One Door Closes
My uncle got left at the altar on his wedding day after a five-year relationship. My grandad had to go up to the altar, thank everyone for coming, and say there would be no wedding. My uncle was heartbroken and went on a trip to New Zealand to get over it. He sat on the plane next to a dude from there. The guy invited my uncle to his family’s home…and my uncle ended up marrying his sister.
They are still together and have three kids. She is awesome and the best aunt.
2. Never The Two Shall Meet
I’m a part-time wedding planner. The bachelor party and the bachelorette party were being held in the same hotel in New Orleans. I tried to get them to do separate venues but nooooo, the group discount would cover an extra day in Carmel. They begin at 8 pm and collide drunkenly at about 3 am. It was some kind of drunken fistfight that turned…intimate?
Everyone was so ashamed the next morning they called it off. They made up six months later and got married. They picked something simple, like their backyard, this time.
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3. For Better Or For Worse
A friend of mine had a bachelor party at the local peeler club a few days before the wedding. I was going to come later in the evening as I was flying in late for the bachelor party and wedding. Got a call right before takeoff. The news shook me to my core. The groom had fallen from the upstairs in the VIP section and had severed his spinal cord.
Even after a few months of rehab, he was fully paraplegic. Amazingly the wedding did happen, almost a year later. It puts things in perspective that she still stayed.
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4. Family Feud
My cousin runs a popular upscale marriage venue. The groom's mom was a heavy drinker and got belligerent when she drank, so understandably the bride wanted the groom to try to limit her drinking. The afternoon before the wedding, the bride arrives to see groom's mom smashed with the groom himself giving her drinks. Next thing my cousin knows, the bride and groom are in a straight-up fistfight.
This leads to an Anchorman-style street fight between members of both families in the parking lot. Apparently they recently scheduled a new day for it. I can't imagine the tension there.
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5. Gimme Gimme Gimme
Friend invites me to his wedding. He and fiancée are fairly poor and have lived together for years. They're both semi-disabled (his is PTSD, hers is physical) and on fixed incomes, and live in a somewhat expensive area. They have three gift registries (Target, Macy's, Crate & Barrel) and a HUGE invite list—over 300 friends and family members.
All the stuff on the registries is standard stuff like towels, coffee cups, flatware, etc. Anyway, people fly out, get ready for the wedding, and two days before the wedding is the bachelor party. That’s when the dark truth comes out. The friend has too much to drink and admits that she's not really his fiancée; they are just roommates and they have no intention of getting married, they just needed the stuff.
They're going to cancel the wedding tomorrow and keep all the gifts. I had to protect him from getting his butt kicked by about two dozen people. Then he had to have the fiancée come clean to everyone since he was too hungover. They ended up returning most of the gifts to people—but a surprising number of people let them keep the gifts. As his grandfather said, "If you needed these things that badly to lie like this, you must have been very desperate".
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6. Talk About Bad Timing
My friend had been with his fiancée for eight years when she got pregnant. Fast forward eight months and we decide that because they are basically common-law married anyway, we need to throw him a bachelor party. So we go to the nearest big city and we are all living it up when he gets the call that his fiancée is in labor. None of us is in any state to drive.
We end up calling a cab and paying over $300 to get him to the hospital as soon as possible. My friend is stumble-down hammered he walks into the delivery room smelling like a peeler club, with lewd things drawn on his face and covered in glitter. I was positive that was the end. They've been married seven years and just had their second child last week.
7. Liar, Liar
The sister of the groom chatted with the sister of the bride. Just casual conversation, but it came to light that almost 100% of what the bride had said besides her name was a complete lie. Sister of the groom calls him up and says he really needs to figure out if this is right. A few fights and some long thinking later, the groom leaves her and leaves town. It got worse though.
It turns out pretty much all the bride's friends had been lied to as well. They all stopped talking to her. She lied about all the normal details of a person's life. Where she went to high school, instead of a boring suburban school it was an expensive private school.
She claimed her family had a ton of money she was set to inherit. Claimed they had a home in Hawaii. Faked knowing people in the same industry. Small to large, didn't really matter, almost all of it was fake from what I heard. I didn't really know her, but we were at the same company. People I worked with used to work in her department so I just heard most of it second-hand.
I have no idea how she thought this would work for the rest of her life. I honestly think she had a mental condition. From what I understand, she tried to rekindle the friendships but quickly started to lie again and that was it. She quit the company shortly after all this went down.
8. She Dodged A Bullet
I had an awful teacher in high school who used to brag about how he left a woman at the altar. He was a short, angry, jerk of a man. He would cover the windows so no sunlight would come into the room, and make us put all of our backpacks against the wall. He would then publicly mock anyone who had to get up and retrieve something from their backpack during class.
Anyway, he said that he went up to the bride and told her it wasn't worth it. And then he went home to have a drink. Ugh, he was so smug about it, it made me feel sick. If I wasn't so insecure in high school, I would have complained about him.
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9. The Silver Coffin Lining
I used to work at an upscale wedding venue. Two weeks before a huge, expensive wedding, the groom's father dies, so they ask us to turn the wedding into a funeral instead. They were a lovely couple, and it was really awfully sad when it happened, but I still use it as my go-to answer for "describe a time when you delivered outstanding customer service" type questions in job interviews.
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10. A Nasty Surprise
I worked at a music venue in the Detroit area that was also a popular wedding reception location. Came into work one week in the fall, when pretty much every weekend is booked solid with weddings, and noticed Saturday was open, no one scheduled. I talked to the wedding planner and she tells me the groom canceled...Odd. Talk to the wedding planner’s younger brother, who was our head bartender.
He tells me that the groom, excited for the wedding, left work at lunch on Friday, bought a nice bottle of red, and headed home to surprise his bride-to-be. Except, he was the one in for a surprise. He walked into his new house to hear sounds coming from their bedroom. He walked in to find his bride in bed with another man…his father. We tried to talk him into doing a big screw you party because we'd never fill the space and there was no refund, but he declined.
11. A Whole Lot Of Fuss
This happened several years ago. My ex was the best man in a wedding for his best friend. The night of the bachelor/bachelorette party, the men and women each had their own get-together, and then were supposed to meet up with each other later that night at a bar downtown. I was with the ladies and after our party, we got into the party bus and headed down.
The bride called the groom and told him to leave to meet us there. We waited and waited. Groom is a no-show. Bride demands that I call my then-boyfriend and find out where they were. Boyfriend reports that they made a pit-stop at strip joint, which the bride and groom apparently had an agreement they wouldn’t do. The bride obviously flips out.
She grabs my phone demands that my ex order everyone to leave the club. Ex tries to explain that it is not going to be easy to get 40 highly intoxicated men out of the club when they had already "started". Meanwhile, the groom is still ignoring bride's calls. The bride demands that we all leave. The bride and groom's sister get into a physical altercation and have to be pulled apart.
The bride is screaming that she is canceling the wedding. The ex and I hightailed it out of there as it had escalated into a two-family brawl. The next day, the groom calls my ex and asks if we want to come over to watch movies with him and the bride. They got married weeks later and are still married.
12. The Biggest Betrayal
While working the night before a wedding at a hotel, the staff and I heard a loud scream from upstairs. Cue the bride screaming and sobbing shouting, "The wedding’s off!!!" while storming out the place, followed by the groom completely unclothed, covering his nether regions with his hands apologizing profusely. Turns out she caught the mother of the bride and the groom getting it on.
Safe to say we had an easy shift the next day as we didn't have a wedding to cater for.
13. A Moment Of Weakness
Neighbor's jealous harpy frenemies convinced her to cheat on the husband-to-be at the bachelorette party. Her friends were very far gone and SnapChatted evidence to him as "a joke". Obviously, he didn't take it that well and left her. Packed up all his things in their apartment and drove to his parents’ instead of getting married. The bride apparently didn't leave her room for about three weeks, totally distraught with how her relationship fell apart.
14. More Than Just Friends
This was my best friend’s bachelor party a few years ago. He had dated his fiancée for six or seven years at that point. She made a male friend at work that became a groomsman. I hated him, didn't trust him, and told my buddy that. The night of the party after huge amounts of drinking, my friend the groom breaks down crying, leaves, and walks home.
He didn't say anything to anyone, just left. Found out the next day that the bride-to-be had been banging that groomsman for months and they were trying to work through it. He couldn't get past it and canceled the wedding.
15. Everyone Knows But Him
A week before his wedding, a friend of mine walked into a nightmare. It was his dad getting it on with his fiancée. The next day in a fit of rage he trashed their room AND THEN in the process found explicit love letters to his recently married best friend (and best man) in her underwear drawer. The letters were as recent as the past week. The wedding was canceled.
Whenever I ran into him at a bar I made sure he never had to buy his own drinks.
16. The Show Must Go On
The bachelorette party is three days before the destination wedding. My sister (the bride) is taken by her friends for a dinner. I'm at the bachelor party with the groom, and we start getting weird messages. Garbled texts, and then we get a call from a local hospital. They’ve all got food poisoning from the dinner. The groom goes "Yeah, this isn't happening boys" and we figure one more shot and we'll make our way to the hospital.
Never underestimate the determination of a bride and bridesmaids. The wedding was delayed by only a day, to the Sunday, and she walked down the aisle with enough gravol shoved up her bum and shot into her veins that I'm not sure she knew where she was, let alone that it was a wedding. The bridesmaids were all various shades of grey, green, and ill.
It was open bar, and to avoid spoiling the party, the husband and groomsmen stayed back and kept drinking. My sister was so tired that she and the bridesmaids took another dose of gravol and all went to sleep in their hotel room. My mother, who is a retired ICU nurse, went to take care of them.
17. Bad Habits
The day of the wedding, the bridesmaids discovered a bunch of drugs and syringes in the bride's bag. The groom was furious and called off the wedding an hour before it was set to happen, but still let us enjoy the food and bar that had already been paid for at the venue. He dodged a bullet and I got drinks for free all night. Win-win if you ask me.
18. A Backup Plan
Not mine, but a friend of my wife. It was a destination wedding in South America; we live in the US. Because it was a destination wedding, they both had their bachelor and bachelorette down there. The bride-to-be went looking for the groom the night before the wedding. No one knew where he was...and we eventually found the dude locked in a bathroom with some local girl doing coke.
The bride was obviously angry but they went through with the wedding. But then the twist came in. Cut to a few years later, and we randomly went out to dinner with just me and my wife with the bride. Turns out she never mailed in the wedding certificate. All this time, they haven't been married. She said she had too many red flags to go through with it.
Dude has no idea they aren't really married, even though they have been married for years and have two kids together.
19. Rekindling An Old Flame
I'm a musician, and I work on an infamous street for revelry and debauchery. One night, a bachelor party came in around the same time as a bachelorette party. The show I work with does special things like funny songs for special events, so I bring them both up at the same time to do something special. Then it got awkward. In the middle of this, on stage, they start making out.
And they Do. Not. Stop. I finish my routine as best I can and get them offstage. Later, as I'm looking around the audience, my eye catches on them again. They're in the back corner just going at it while their respective parties hang out up near the front of the stage. And they are really getting into it. Hands down pants and up skirts. At some point they disappear.
I take a break and head to the restroom. It's locked. I hear a woman yelling…some very encouraging…things from inside the stall. I sit in the lounge area outside the bathroom for about 10 minutes. The bachelor and bachelorette come out, looking a bit disheveled, but not too bad and not at all weirded out. They see me and immediately want to chat.
For some reason, people always want to get to know the musicians here. All their secrets came spilling out. There's curiously no guilt on them at all. I have to pee like a racehorse, but this is too good to pass up. Come to find out, they both are getting married to other people, but know each other from having lived in the same small town of about 5,000 all their lives. They ran into each other for the first time since high school graduation at our bar and old feelings emerged that neither had ever attempted to act on.
They don't stay long, and as they leave I hear the bachelor say, "I have my own room, let's go there". The rest of the party stays till the show is over, partying hard and having fun. Possibly the best bachelor/bachelorette parties I've had. Anywho, I wind up seeing the "bachelor" and "bachelorette" together at our bar and out in the street every night for four nights.
Always holding hands and/or getting frisky. They came back a little over a year later. They got married here in our town to each other instead of who they were engaged to that fateful night. Most of their respective bachelor/bachelorette showed up for the event. With this story, I always feel torn. Did I participate in the destruction of two relationships, or did I facilitate the meeting of two soulmates?
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20. Down To The Wire
My aunt was visiting me, and a friend's daughter was getting married that day nearby. My aunt wanted to drop by the reception to bring a wedding gift. When she got there, she got horrible news. It turned out the wedding had never taken place. It seems they got to the altar, and when he said "I do," and they asked her "Do you take this man to be your wedded husband?" she said, "No," and walked out.
The weird part is they were both at the reception, hanging with their friends. He looked really unhappy. She looked delirious. If I were him, I'd never want to be within a mile of her ever again after that. I don't know what her reasoning was. Maybe it was good. But it was really incredibly rude of her to literally wait until the very last moment to break it off.
21. A Photo Finish
An ex-girlfriend was at a bachelorette party at a seedy male dancer's place. She came home from the party and said, "Well, the wedding is off". The bride was getting the usual treatment, sitting in a chair with the men gyrating around her, whipping stuff around, and then they got, uh, really frisky. When it ended, the bride kind of comes to her senses, looks around, and sees like 20 of her friends pointing cell phones at her recording and taking photos.
She starts freaking out. My girlfriend says she started screaming at everyone "you better delete that” and generally having a full rage meltdown. This tale of modern romance closes very shortly after, with the bride’s phone ringing in a call from her fiancé, who has already received photos from her “friends” of his bride to be getting it on with a male dancer in front of a crowd.
22. Showing Her True Colors
I was at an engagement party of a long-time friend the other day, and everything was good until afterward. As soon as we got back to their house (I was crashing at theirs) they had an argument. I saw a side to her I never wanted to know. She got angry and punched him in the face twice, then said, "If you tell anyone I did this I'll say you're abusive".
He said he was done with her, but somehow the wedding is still on. I'm supposed to be the best man, but there's no way am I condoning the wedding in any form, and that includes going to the thing.
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23. Daddy’s Little Girl
This was my buddy's bachelor party. The bachelor got super plastered and the father of the bride, who was super conservative, was shocked and did not know the well-mannered/polite young man marrying his daughter was, in his eyes, a "raging alcoholic". In fact, the bachelor got so tipsy, he began to let some secrets slip about his relationship with the bride.
Again, the father of the bride was a bit old school in his thinking, and the bachelor let the following slip: That his daughter was basically living with him since Junior year of college and her apartment in college was just for show. That even though he is drinking a lot, his future wife can outdrink him 2-1. His future wife has a cute tattoo on her inner thigh and that all their friends had seen it when they went skinny dipping at the father’s lake house.
That we had a massive graduation party at his lake house when he and his wife were in Europe for two weeks. Finally, the bride is into some kinky stuff. That drew the line. The father of the bride declared there would not be a wedding, and asked where had he gone wrong raising his daughters. He has four daughters total and this was his oldest and who he considered his best behaved. They married anyway.
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24. The Bro Code Strikes Back
A dancer came to my buddy Jack's bachelor party and was playing around with rubbers, but nothing truly untoward happened throughout the party. At the end of the night, Jack the groom-to-be was cleaning up a bit and put the rubber wrapper in his pocket absentmindedly. The next day his fiancée Kristen was doing laundry and found the wrapper.
She freaked out thinking that he had cheated on her. Jack tried to reassure her and explain the situation. Kristen is a really cool lady and takes it pretty well and calms down...but she can't quite shake the feeling. So, Jack tells her to call me to confirm what happened. Kristen calls and asks, "So what happened last night?" Mind you, I'm totally in the dark about the situation, and Jack and I had never discussed what we are supposed to tell Kristen, so I totally downplay it to erase the dancer completely.
"Not much, the boys just had a few drinks and had some Havanas". I hear YOU LYING PIECE OF—click
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25. A Rollercoaster Ride
On man, so I have a good story. The night before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner is at a distillery. Everyone gets hammered. I mean everyone, even the grandparents, all extremely intoxicated. The groom's dad was so gone that when he tries to give his speech to the couple to be, he cannot even talk, nor stand up. After the rehearsal dinner, the whole wedding party decides it is a good idea to go out drinking some more at some karaoke bar.
At the bar, the groom’s little sister, who was in high school at the time, randomly decides to get on stage to try her hand at karaoke. However, instead of singing a song, she just starts talking about how she wants to screw all the groomsmen. Promptly, her family rips her off stage and takes her home. Later in the night, everyone is having a great time, but then the bride tipsily tells the groom that she is not sure if she loves him anymore.
The groom becomes enraged, leaves the bar, attempting to walk (stumble) back to his hotel, which wasn't anywhere near the bar. The groom's brother runs after him trying to calm him down and the groom ends up getting into a huge fistfight with his brother/best man. The next day, the groom and best man look like they had both been hit by a truck.
For some reason, the wedding is still on. The groom's mother decides the only way to fix things is by trying to cover the wounds with makeup. So now you have the groom and best man looking like Casper the Friendly Ghost up on the altar, and then in walks the bride…still soused. They end up both saying "I do" but weeks later, as expected, they get divorced. Then the plot thickened SO much.
It ends up that before the wedding while the groom was on his bachelor party weekend, they met a bunch of girls who were going to the same place for a bachelorette party. The groom hooks up with one of the girls he meets. Long story short, now he is married to the girl who he cheated on his ex-fiancée/wife with, and has been for the past seven years.
It’s always funny to think back on how much of a circus that wedding was.
26. Second Thoughts
My cousin was a young, newly-minted US Marine and was set to marry some girl he met at a gas station near base. She had no job, no real aspirations, and seemed only interested in his benefits, but she was putting out and he was happy. Nobody in the family wanted this to happen, but we were all afraid to push too hard and risk alienating him, so we all, including his parents, just went along with it.
We figured that it would fizzle out well before the wedding date. Well that didn't happen. Until the actual day of the wedding, it all went off. On the morning of the wedding, she informs him that her best friend will be coming to live with them for the first year in order to help her acclimate to living on her own. He tells her that there is no way that this can happen, because he lives in base housing and there are strict rules against it.
Apparently, this was a deal-breaker and she backed out, with not too much protest from him. We later found out that he had been having misgivings but was too chicken to call it off himself. The reception was bought and paid for already, and my cousin's family were all very relieved that the wedding was off, so anyone who felt like sticking around after the non-ceremony had an amazing time.
Even though the non-bride's family weren't there, I think we still drank almost all of the drinks.
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27. It’s Not All Fun And Games
A buddy of mine was getting married. We went out for drinks, but his wife did not permit him to have an actual bachelor party. As we drank, he made a disturbing confession. She was mistreating him and masking it as intimate “play". The wedding was two weeks away. Only, he hated the whole idea and only went along with it because he had low self-esteem.
She was really aggressive. She had come on to me the year before and I said no. She went so far as to wake me up by sitting on me on the couch when I crashed once at their place. I was trashed and thought I was dreaming at first but came to my senses before anything terrible happened. I told him about it later, but he chalked it up as just her personality.
He didn't seem to care, even though I knew better. Anyway, we come home from the bar and sit in the living room and watch TV. He goes off to his fiancée for a bit. About 30 minutes later, I wake up to my buddy putting stuff in a backpack. He says he is going to go to a hotel, that he cannot stay here with her anymore. Says he will drop me at home.
That's when she comes out in full leather gear with another man following her. Starts yelling at him and doing some fairly familiar “dominant” commands. He isn't having any of it and leaves, while yelling at her for cheating and also leaving me there. Then she yells at me for not trying to stop him. I had the perfect response: "You're the one with handcuffs". And I walked home.
The wedding was canceled by him and she spent the next month saying stuff about how he was intolerant of her lifestyle. All I cared about was my buddy getting out of a horrible relationship. He is now married to one of the best women I know. So, a happy ending!
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28. It All Comes Out Eventually
How about the father of the bride, happily married with kids, sleeping with the maid of honor the night before the big day? Yup. That didn't go over too well with the bride. Even better, this is how it went down: The bride walked in on them bangin' boots. Big fight ensued, yada yada, then the maid of honor spills the beans that the groom ALSO had slept with her.
A few months before. Yeah. None of that went over well at all.
29. Bonnie And Clyde Y2K
So the couple has been sleeping together for a few years, she gets pregnant, and they decide to get married. Months of planning go by and she begins to show. Bride's parents wig right out, call her every name in the book, and forbid her to get married. But the couple got their revenge. They cancel the wedding all right, then take her parents’ car to elope and torch the garage on their way out. It was magnificent.
30. Watching Out For His Own
This ex-friend of mine, who has a daughter with another woman, was at his wedding reception with his new wife dancing. While there, she says he should forget about his daughter. He thinks she may be kidding and forgets about it. Later on she tells him again to forget about his daughter because she can give him as many kids as he wants.
He gets super angry, tells everyone to get out, the party is over. The bride doesn't know what the heck happened but he is already gone. He goes to see the bride a week after just to return the ring the bride's family gave him. He never spoke to her again so she gave up and a year later she sent him the divorce papers for him to sign at long last.
31. Finding His Fit
One of my dad's friends drank way too much, left with a dancer at the club, disappeared for a few days, and then came back dating said dancer. But here’s the best part. Eventually, he actually married the dancer and they've been together for over 20 years. They seem pretty happy too. Romance can be weird and you find it in unexpected places, I guess.
32. Getting Cold Feet
On weekends I work at a place that hosts quite a few weddings. At about 2 pm one day, our in-house event planner came back downstairs looking really uncomfortable and asked if anyone else would go back up to the dressing room area with him. Turns out he rounded a corner to find the groom sobbing uncontrollably and being consoled by the bride's mother who kept saying, "It's not too late, you don't have to do this".
This was all made even more uncomfortable by the fact that the bride was pregnant. Wedding went off without a hitch and staff reported that the couple looked "very happy" once the trigger was pulled.
33. Let’s Call It Even
I had a buddy whose fiancée slept with a male dancer at her bachelorette party. He found out but wasn't totally irate about it. They had a pretty open relationship and flirted all the time with other people. Anyways, a couple days before their wedding…he got plastered and slept with one of his fiancée’s friends. But the outcome was hugely surprising to all of us.
He told her what he did, and they both basically said "truce". They got married. Eight years later, they're happy with two kids. It's weird though, because the friend that he banged still hangs out with all of us...no one really talks about it. True story man.
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34. Flying Too Close To The Sun
It was the party the night before the wedding. The groom and the groom's friends, as well as the bride and the bride's friends. They rent a cabin at a cool little state park for the party. We are all sitting at a picnic table, drinking, talking, nothing wild. The groom is stabbing a pocketknife into the picnic table top—not hard, just sticking it in the wood.
The bride-to-be says, "If you keep doing that, you are going to cut your finger off". Groom replies, "No, it's a lock blade, it won't close". Next stab: lock blade closes and cuts his pinky off. He was rushed to hospital with his pinky in the cooler. We have to hold the groom up at altar the next day due to his pain medicine. Pinky reattached, and everything was eventually cool.
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35. With Friends Like These…
For some reason, a guy I know decided to have a co-ed bachelor party and invited all of his friends from college, from youth, etc. This took place in a large city, and a lot of us that knew each other from high school all went to the same big commuter school in the city and lived with our parents through college, so it was a really unique group. Lots of lifelong friends, and a bunch of new friends from college we brought into the fold.
So here's our groom: Mr. Perpetual Life of the Party. Charismatic, fun, likes to have a good time. Marrying a total buzzkill of a girl, but darned if she isn't crazy hot. Also very, VERY Catholic, and won't let the groom into her pants before the wedding. Groom has been angry about this for a while, which led to some accelerated wedding plans. Anyway, co-ed bachelor party.
It was a big beach house rental. Girls and guys, and it turns into a total debauch fest. About half of us had dated or fooled around with each other through high school or college, so people are sneaking off in various states to do various things—everything from smooching to full-on three-ways. It was messy. I had really only dated a couple of girls in the group, one of whom I couldn't find, and the other was already busy in a bedroom, so me and another loner girl got it on out of pity for each other.
We had just finished what turned out to be a remarkably good pity session when we heard the door to the next room close. These old beach houses had all been renovated a bunch to cram in as many bedrooms as possible, so the walls between were often thin. I couldn’t believe what I witnessed. It was the groom, talking with my sort-of ex that I hadn't been able to find earlier.
From what we could hear (everything) and what we learned later, it seemed that they'd been talking about the fact that the groom's bride-to-be was a real chilly person, and his lack of intimacy with her was really chafing. Well, you guessed it. They went hard, and the girl ended up getting REALLY loud. Like, pretty much everyone knew what was going on.
So. Three days later, everyone under the age of 40 at the wedding knows the groom schtupped this girl, but nobody says nothing. Four days into their honeymoon, the groom comes home early and calls me and some other folks. Turns out he and the girl had been texting about their adventure while he was on his honeymoon with his wife and included a choice bit about how his new wife was bad in the bedroom.
She saw the texts. Choice offered: Ditch every friend you have and stay married, or leave. Guess which one he picked? Spoiler alert they have like eight kids now.
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36. Better Late Than Never
I was a bridesmaid. All of her friends (including myself), her parents, and anyone else with half a brain had been telling her to get rid of him all along, and to definitely not marry him. He had no job, and he was physically and verbally mistreating her. We'd given up by the time of her wedding, and I was trying to be happy for her. Instead of saying “I do,” though, she just started looking around the room and then ran back down the aisle.
We were all dumbfounded, except for her father who yelled a variation of what we were all thinking: "Thank You Jesus Christ".
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37. Up Close And Personal
My friend had a cousin who was getting married. The night before the wedding day, we were at a bar that had hired a dancer. There were like 50 men there. When the girl showed up, we came to a mind-blowing realization. Turns out she was the wife's sister. Nobody knew this was her side job. The family was in a terrible mood so the wedding was canceled, though they got married a month later.
38. Reading The Tea Leaves
When I was in 6th grade, my mom decided that she wanted to marry her boyfriend of eight years. I had never liked him and he had never liked me, so I asked her why she wanted to marry him. The only reason she could come up with was that we needed help with money. My step-dad is a really angry person, and is emotionally abusive to women.
I told my mom that I didn't approve of her choice, and she told me that what I wanted didn't matter. I needed this man in my life. They had my little brother involved in the wedding. He was the ring bearer. My two step-sisters and I refused to take any part in the ceremony. They didn't like the idea of the marriage, either. Well, in the middle of whatever the preacher was saying, he turns to us three girls and asks us, "Do you approve of this union?"
I look at my oldest step-sister. She looks at me. "No". "No". “HECK no". It sort of ruined the entire lovey-dovey atmosphere that was around before, but at least we weren't kidding ourselves. Fast-forward to now, my mom has a five-year-old boy with my stepdad, and is very unhappy. My stepdad tells her that she is worthless as a woman if she doesn't cook and clean all by herself.
39. Prince Charming Right Here
I worked as a cook doing banquets at a high-end restaurant and hotel. We were prepping on Friday night for the wedding reception on Saturday when one of the salespeople comes down and tells us we might not be needed on Saturday. We all look up with confusion and ask why? Turns out screaming was heard down the hall, so someone reported it.
They bash the door down to find the groom attempting to kill the future wife. Officers take away the groom that night. But wait, it gets worse. The mother of the groom tries to keep the wedding going and claims it was all a misunderstanding. The officers did not agree with this sentiment.
40. Those Who Can’t Marry, Teach
My eighth-grade US history teacher was left at the altar before. She was large and in charge, and she would get flashbacks from that moment she was left at the altar during class and turn from chill to crazy in a matter of seconds. She even had photos of the two of them with his face scratched off and whatnot in the classroom, and she would always reference him and talk about throwing him off a building or something similar. Long story short, I got a B in that class.
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41. Nothing To See Here
I was not in attendance because I was like two at the time, but a cousin of my dad was on the altar ready to go, then the groomsmen showed up with the groom still messed up from the night before. The groom threw up on the altar when he got up there. The wedding was called off and the two never married. My great-grandfather prevented everyone from eating all the food at the reception and everyone just kind of went home.
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42. Grief Makes People Do Stupid Things
My college roommate was engaged to a college sweetheart of hers. She graduated and moved out of state for work. He had one more year of school, but he passed tragically in a drunken walking incident. He fell off a two-story parking garage. This is not even the craziest part. See…in her and the guy’s brother's fit of depression and sadness, the brother of the deceased guy knocked her up.
So four months after the funeral, we were all gathered again for a quickie wedding. Only it wasn't your regular wedding. She was Indian, so it was a day-long traditional ceremony. I had barely recovered from the puke-flu and HATE curry, so it was all I could do just to attend. The dad of the deceased spent the entire day crying on my shoulder about how wrong this all was.
Well, he wasn't kidding. Within the year, his surviving son would beat the heck out of my old roommate and she filed for divorce.
43. One Moment Gone So Wrong
Best friend got plastered, as did everyone, at the lake house during the bachelor party. One kid wanted to take the boat out in cold, cold water. No life vests. With three of them in the boat. At 1,000 feet from shore, they tipped the boat. Only one tried to swim to shore to get help. He was so cold by the time he got to shore that it took him an hour to reach the nearest house for help.
My friend stayed with the other guy holding onto the upside-down boat. The other guy had heavy clothes and boots and they couldn't get them off as it was dark and their fingers were numb. I don't know how long they managed to hold on waiting for help until they went under. The wedding party the next day became a search and rescue.
Many months later, they found the body. Sometimes I hate him for not swimming to save himself. Sometimes I admire him for trying to save his friend. I miss you so much watermelon.
44. One For The Memories
My best friend’s ex was getting remarried to his long-time girlfriend. The new wife has two sons from a previous relationship, as does my friend and her ex. The new wife was nice enough, but she was a bit uptight. To give you an example, her two new stepsons are not allowed to call her by her name and they have to refer to her as "Miss Kate". Anyway, up on the altar during the wedding, the pastor asks the sons how they are feeling on this "joyous occasion".
The younger of the two, who was about eight at the time, leaned forward and said quite clearly into the microphone: "I honestly don't like it. Her sons are mean, they make me look at unclothed ladies on the computer, and she hits me with a wooden spoon when I am naughty". My friend caught it all on her cellphone as it happened. Best wedding video ever.
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45. Probably Not Worth It
I have a brother who is about 10 years older than me. This happened when I was 14, and I didn't learn about the full extent of the events that happened until a few years later, when I was older and had a better understanding of things. My brother was one of the groomsmen at a friend's wedding. Typical college sweetheart story: The bride and groom had dated all through college and he had proposed on their graduation day.
Everything was all set for a beautiful summer wedding. However, the bride-to-be was having doubts. She had only ever been intimate with one man, her fiancé, and knew that the groom-to-be was in the same situation. One lover his whole life, his fiancée. Apparently she had been reading a lot of self-help books on the subject and she had come to the conclusion that lack of experience was the number one destroyer of marriages.
So she came to my brother's friend (the groom-to-be) with this idea that they participate in a foursome, or a partner-swap with the best man and maid of honor, their two best friends, the night before the wedding. Brilliant, right? I swear you can't make this up. The groom-to-be fights the idea for a while, but his fiancée threatens to call off the wedding if he doesn't go through with it.
He talks with his best friend, and he reluctantly agrees. She talks with her best friend, she reluctantly agrees. Everybody's in. So the night before the wedding comes, and the four are getting plastered at the happy couple-to-be's apartment. Here's where it goes down. Apparently, the groom drinks too much and can't get it up (at least that's what he says happened) and what essentially occurs that night is a threesome between the maid of honor, the bride-to-be, and the best man.
The groom-to-be, humiliated and distraught, leaves the apartment in the middle of the trio's shenanigans and drives his car straight into a freeway median. The wedding's called off due to the accident, and the groom ends up paralyzed from the waist down. Great guy, the paralyzed wood-be groom. They never got married. My brother and I play pick-up with him once or twice a month at the local rec center.
The paralyzed groom doesn't like to talk about anything that happened, and I'm pretty sure he and his would-be best man don't talk anymore. I saw the bride at a Christmas party my parents threw a few years ago, since her parents are family friends. I think she's now married and has a kid or two.
46. The Shirt Off His Back
I attended a wedding where the groom, when asked to say, "I do,” passed out straight away, falling down a small flight of stairs. After coming to a few seconds later, he got a look of panic in his eyes and ran out of the building. Five minutes go by. Someone goes out after him. Then 10. Then 20. Several people have left now to see what's going on.
Now people are wondering if he'll come back at all. He re-enters the church now, with only his mostly open tuxedo jacket on and a bare, hairy chest showing. He looks pale as a ghost. He apologizes for being "too hot" (it was the middle of winter). He slowly walks up to the altar, bare chest showing. And the ceremony resumes, chest hair and all.
They actually did get married that way. But man, that was flipping the weirdest wedding I've ever witnessed.
47. Party Foul
Not a party I attended, but not too long ago there was a story on the news about a bachelor party. It was a normal party from what I understand, but at some time during the evening a bunch of guys roll up the bachelor in a rug and put him outside against the wall, then leave him there just to mess with him. They go back out there a little while later and release him from the carpet.
But to their surprise, they have left the bachelor upside down in the carpet, and he's now deceased.
48. No Happy Ending
I had a very good friend in high school (a girl) and she and her groom had their bachelor and bachelorette parties on the same night. They got back to their hotel room, got into a huge argument, and he beat her so bad, he thought she was a goner—she wasn’t. So he went and drove his car into a concrete road divider and offed himself.
She's doing OK now, this was about 10 years ago. She's married with two kids and I'm still friends with her. She actually openly talks about it when asked.
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49. Putting It Off
THE night before their city hall wedding, the bride and groom had separate big parties and got so plastered they both slept through the wedding. They didn't realize it until city hall called asking where they were, and they decided, screw it, we'll do it later. They did eventually get married at some point a few months after, and still are as far as I know, over 20 years later.
50. Privacy, Please
It was a bachelor party in Vegas. The bachelor hooks up with a girl, and gives her his cell phone number so they can continue the party that night. This backfired in the sharpest way imaginable. See, the bride-to-be is sitting at home with the iPad, getting all of the iMessages from the girl as they are coming in. She canceled the wedding that day.
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51. Keep It In The Family
Several years ago, I got a phone call from the maid of honor for a wedding I was going to attend (as a guest) two weeks from then. She was flustered, but managed to get out: "There's no wedding, Groom called it off. He's in love with someone else". Well, I didn't press. I was friends with both of them, so I knew that the full details would eventually make their way back to me. I could not believe what I found out.
Turns out, a couple weeks before the wedding, the groom called the bride and said he was coming over. They needed to talk. When he got to her apartment, he broke down in tears and confessed that he was in love with someone else. He loved her, but couldn't marry her because he didn't love her in the way a bride deserves. There was much crying and shouting over it all, but eventually, the bride recovered from the news enough to ask him who he was in love with.
"Well," Groom said, "It's [Bride's Brother]". The wedding was definitely off at that point. Now, five or six years later, the groom and the bride's brother are married and happy. However, I lost contact with the bride shortly after her wedding plans imploded, so I'm not sure if she ever forgave the boys for that one.
52. I Just Keep Coming Back To You
After the wedding at the reception, the newlyweds took forever to show up. They were nearly an hour late. When they did arrive, they were arguing loudly the entire time. They got "introduced" and we all clapped as per tradition and they sat down at the main table in a huff. Sometime between the appetizer and the main course, the argument started again.
The groom stormed off and my girlfriend and I were nosey so we went to see what was up. He ended up in the hotel lobby on his cell phone. We thought nothing of it and we were about to go back when the wife shows up, still obviously in her wedding dress, and continues to ream him out. Now for the first time, we can hear what the argument is about. As we listened, our jaws dropped.
He had invited his ex to the wedding. She showed up to the ceremony and that threw the bride off. Apparently, also...he had cheated on the new wife with this ex-girlfriend several times, with the last time being only about a month prior to the wedding. Additionally, the ex-girlfriend/mistress was on her way to come pick up the new husband to take him away from the new bride...because she was "acting crazy" according to the groom.
After a couple minutes of watching this train wreck of an argument, a rust bucket sedan shows up with the ex-girlfriend in it. The groom gets into the car with his ex or whatever the heck she is and they drive off. Last words went to the bride, though, who screamed at him as he tore off: "Well, I guess I'm going to go back to sleeping with your brother then, you jerk!”
So, they are no longer married now.
53. Sister Act
First of all, if you've never been to a Jewish wedding, the way it goes is, first they have the reception with the bride and groom in separate rooms, then the ceremony, then family goes away to sit for pictures while the guests sit down to eat. Then the bride and groom come in and the dancing starts. In between the ceremony and the pictures, though, is what's called "Yichud" which doesn't really translate, but it approximately means "isolation together".
The bride and groom lock themselves in a room and are observed by two reliable witnesses outside the door to have stayed therein long enough to have consummated the marriage. Although nobody actually does it there; it's considered declasse. This is one of the things that actually solemnizes the marriage. So. After the yichud, the bride comes out and drops a bombshell.
She announces, "Sorry everyone, the wedding's off. We'll be getting a divorce, and we're returning all the gifts…except for the bedroom set, where I caught my new husband trying it out with my sister last week". So? Well, think about this. She knew about the episode before the wedding. Why'd she go through with it? Because under Jewish law, if you've once been married to a woman, even after divorcing her you aren't allowed to marry her sister at any time until your first wife has passed.
By going through with the ceremony, she in effect locked her sister out of ever being able to get together with her soon-to-be-ex...
Sources: Reddit,
