These People Tried New Things And Failed Horribly

January 19, 2022 | J. Hunter

These People Tried New Things And Failed Horribly

Life is about trying new things. Since birth, everything is about discovering how things work, what things are, and what would happen if you do something a particular way. So, a lot of the time people don’t think much about doing something new and have fun experimenting. Well, for these people, trying something for the first time turned out so badly that they vowed to never try again—but at least they got these jaw-dropping stories out of it.

1. Ball Handling

When I was 8, I went shopping with my mom. I “found” a tennis ball underneath one of the shelves and thought, “finders’ keepers,” So, I put it under my t-shirt when my mom wasn’t looking. For the rest of the shopping trip, I walked around with the ball obviously underneath my shirt and thought everything was just fine.

And it was! I was playing with it in my room when we got home. Then suddenly, I heard a heavy knock at our front door. My mom called me down and said the person was here to talk to me. So, I went to the front door, opened it, and saw a big, scary-looking officer staring down at me with the sternest look I’ve ever seen.

Sweat started pouring down my chubby little face, and he asked me how I was. After I responded, he said, “You know why I’m here don't you boy?” And I burst out crying saying that I was so sorry. I told him why I thought it was free not being on the shelf. He took the ball away and told me officers were always watching. It was only later that I learned the real truth about that day.

My mom had seen me take the ball and “hide” it, then asked a friend of hers to come to spook me a bit. That’s how I learned never to take what isn’t mine.

Stupid attemptsPexels

2. Wipe Out

I was 11 when I spotted a pack of disinfectant wipes after realizing I had run out of toilet paper. I thought that they would work just fine. Nope. As soon as finished that first swipe, it was as if the sun teleported to my butt. I started hopping around the bathroom trying not to squeal, but my mom came to check on the noise.

She opened the door and saw me jumping around with a disinfectant pad between my cheeks.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

3. Kitty Saver

I saw a cat limping down our street and assumed he’d been hit by a car. So, I picked him up with no blanket or gloves. As I was running him to his owner, he bit me right through the index fingernail so hard his tooth broke off in it. It was bad—but it was about to get so much worse. My finger hurt, and several hours later, I had a golf ball-sized lump in my elbow pit.

It was late at night, so I decided to go to the ER the next morning. But by dawn, I was running a fever and had a terrible headache. When I got to the ER, they admitted me because I was septic. I was in the hospital for nearly ten days on every antibiotic known to man. They released me, but I had to have an IV at home.

The doctor said I was lucky to be alive because cats’ mouths are the second filthiest in the animal kingdom. Humans win the prize for first place.

Stupid attemptsPexels

4. Spice Up Your Life

It was my first time having sushi, and I loved wasabi pea snacks. I was with friends who didn't like wasabi, so I decided to take the leftovers of all three of our treats and made a ball about an inch in diameter. I ate it. I was fine for a few hours. Then, I woke up that night with the worst heartburn I have ever had.

It hurt my chest, and I couldn’t breathe without feeling pain. I tried taking antacids and had five, but it didn’t help. After half an hour, I was convinced it was a heart attack. But I was 19 and healthy, so that wouldn’t have been likely. So, I decided to wait five more minutes before calling for paramedics to get me.

In four minutes, I started feeling better. It’s 25 years later, and I can still remember it vividly.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

5. Land, Ho!

I was with my brothers and father swimming in the sea splashing around. When we looked back to the shore, I knew we were in trouble. It was far away—too far away. We hadn’t been paying attention to the currents and gone in even though there was a red flag and no guard around. All of us started swimming back, but the water was stronger than us.

If we’d stopped for even just five seconds, we’d lose the progress we made. I was too young to remember it as a life-threatening situation, but my dad and brothers still get chills when they tell the story.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

6. Real-Life Consequences

When I was young, I used to play online games. Once, I wanted to know what would happen if someone had a heart attack. I put it out to a popular online community, and someone called their local officers who then contacted the officers in my town. The officers then sent out a red alert looking for a heart attack victim—but that’s not the craziest part.

Well, I’d given out a fake address, and officers showed up to a nunnery. Officers jumped through some hoops to get my account location and showed up at my house with the fire department and EMS. And when they did, they found out that there was no emergency. It was only a stupid kid who lied to people on an online game.

When my mom asked me about it, I claimed ignorance, only to have the officer hand her a printout of the transcript. It was so embarrassing. Over a decade later, my family still brings it up. I stopped playing the game and learned to be careful before lying.

Stupid attemptsPexels

7. Capture The Moment

When I was little, I liked playing games where I was a victim who needed to escape to “fight the bad guys.” But I couldn’t get the tape to work how I wanted, so I asked my brother to help me. I climbed onto the cabinet, and my brother helped tape me down. I was just so excited to “escape and fight all of the bad guys!”

The next thing I knew was waking up in my dad’s car dazed, dizzy, and confused. Since my brother and I weren’t the brightest, we thought everything would have been fine. In reality, when I wanted to get down from the cabinet, I fell face-first into the ground so hard that my mom said it looked like someone had hurt me.

I just got a broken nose and never played like that again.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

8. Wood This Work

I used to build all kinds of things when I was younger. I got pretty good at it, so I was less vigilant about safety. Most of the time, it worked out okay for me—until the day it didn’t. That one day, I was cutting 2x4s, which were small. I didn’t want to plug in the chop saw or do it by hand because that meant I’d have to move things around.

So, I decided that I was skilled enough to freestyle with the table saw that had no catch guard. I was not worried as I’d been okay many times before without any problems. Everything started out fine. But then the wood got caught. The machine sucked it out of my hands, brushed my side, and impaled the tree in the yard.

It more than brushed my side though. It tore a huge hole in the side of my shirt and scratched my skin. I could have had a chunk taken out of me. Never again.

Stupid attemptsPexels

9. Mouth To Mouth

I propped myself on the table and the counter and was swinging my legs back and forth. I fell down and ended up breaking my jaw—but it was actually so much worse than it sounds. It broke into three pieces, my tongue dangled through an open wound through my chin, and I don’t even know how many stitches I needed. Plus, my teeth got messed up as well, and I had theater!

My scars added to my character but impacted my performance in front of any audience.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

10. Addictionship

I began a relationship with someone who had been sober for two years when we met. We were together for two more years before he relapsed. The next three years were getting in and out of rehabs and a lot of heartache, disappointment, and resentment from both sides. I was the only one working and doing everything at home.

When I wasn’t working on the nights and weekends, I was driving to visit him and had no time off for myself. I really loved him. I really believed I just had to support him by doing everything I could, always visiting, bringing everything he asked for, not whining for him to work or even do housework when he was sober.

I thought I had to ensure that there was no stress in his life at all. I really believed he would get sober again. I really, really believed that it would be okay—until the day I finally realized it would not.

Stupid attemptsPexels

11. Cracked Coconut

I remember I was almost 8, and we were at the pool. Since I really wanted to play with everyone, I was rushing to get ready. But then I had to get floaties for my sister before getting in. I ran, slipped on a wooden plank, and cracked my head open. In the moment, I hadn’t realized what just happened and laughed it off.

I thought the way I fell was funny. My mom knew something was wrong and told me to stop laughing about it. I didn’t really understand how bad the situation was until I saw all the blood that I lost in the shower. My mom had to show me what happened, and as a nurse, I trusted her. So, we had to go to the emergency room.

We had to wait for a little bit, and I just wanted to go home and pretend nothing happened. I honestly thought it wouldn’t be painful, but after the second of three staples in my head to keep the blood from gushing out, I decided to be more careful next time.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

12. Lethal River

I visited my friends in South Carolina. We were going tubing down the river, which they said would take three hours tops. It took seven hours because the current was so slow. My sunburn lasted until November. We also lost a raft, encountered two copperhead snakes, and saw multiple alligators along the way. Never again.

Stupid attemptsFlickr

13. The Hurt Bottle

At a party, my friend handed me a black and blue tall can of what I can only describe as liquid pain. It was a blue 4Loko, and I had never had one before so happily cracked it and chugged it. The flavor was pleasant with a slight aftertaste, but overall, it was a mixed-energy drink vibe. Being new, I downed it quickly.

Three-quarters of the way through, I realized I was in trouble. In the same instant, my stomach turned in on itself. It first felt bubbly then it took an ugly turn to searing, hot pain deep within my body. I laid down in the dirt, pushing down onto my stomach desperately trying to alleviate the pain that just escalated.

I told my friends to call an ambulance because my life was flashing before my eyes on the lawn. They just crowded around me and tried to calm me down. Someone handed me ice at some point. Eventually, I sat up, and the crisis was averted. But man, I’ve never felt nearly as close to the end as that night I drank a 4Loko.

Stupid atteptsShutterstock

14. Stick It Up

I used to scratch my ears with a Q-tip. I moved my legs to reposition myself when suddenly, my left leg jerked up making my knee hit my elbow, thus smashing the Q-tip through my eardrum. It was extreme pain I had never felt before. When I saw the doctor, he gave me the usual lecture about not putting things in my ears.

And he noticed that I’d had an infection in my ear for some time. The doctor prescribed me liquid antibiotics which went through the drum. It hurt more for me to treat it. I went back to the doctor the next day, and he just shrugged and said, “Oops!” But the story didn’t end there. A few weeks later, I was on a flight to France with a sinus infection.

The pressure change during landing couldn't equalize past my congestion, and I felt a lot of pain. This moved the bacteria to my right ear, which started a mad infection there. When I saw a doctor, they gave me two types of antibiotics. Both of which were ineffective. Overnight, my ear swelled up and broke the eardrum.

The pain woke me up. At my next visit, he finally diagnosed me with inner ear eczema, which I could treat using steroids instead of Q-tips. Eventually, all of my ears have recovered, and my hearing is fine. I learned that it’s not normal to have itchy ears and never to itch as it can tear open skin and cause infection.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

15. Hot Tip

I wanted to heat up a butter knife to be red hot—just because. Instead of using the stove, I tried using the toaster. I put the knife right into one of the glowing red coils and was immediately met with the shock of my life. I might as well have put my finger into a socket while standing in water. Never did it again.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

16. The Mighty Claw

I was making lobster rolls for a date. The store gave me the live lobster, and I thought it wouldn’t be that big of a deal prepping it. I had no idea what I was getting into. Except that involves jabbing its head and chopping it in half to end its suffering then trying to fit its twitching body into a pot. The rolls were good, but I would never do it again.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

17. Taking Everything

I went to an, ahem, exotic club for the first time during a friend's bachelor party. I was 28 and had never been to one. The boss lady convinced us to each pay for a private dance. We were told we'd get a private dance in a private room with a girl for only $120. Once I was in this private room, I asked how everything worked.

The girl said that the $120 was only for the room, and for a 20-minute lap dance, it would cost me another $100. The lady had never explained that to us, but I went to the ATM to withdraw my cash thinking that this was going to be the first and last time ever doing this. The machine charged me $10 for withdrawing cash.

By the time I got back to the room, I was too angry and filled with regret. The girl started her dance and asked me for even more money to “upgrade my service.” I refused every time. I just couldn’t wait for it all to be over with so I could leave. By the end, I was so grateful, but then the boss lady came to the room.

She told me that the original $120 charge on my credit card automatically added an 18% service fee and that also I should tip the girl. I held in my fury and paid. When I went outside, I saw the sad, broken men from our group who had been swindled as well. I blew over $300 for a bad experience and vowed to never again.

Stupid atteptsShutterstock

18. Dropping The Ball

New Year’s Eve in Times Square is overrated and absolutely miserable. Everyone stays in a gated area where they can’t leave. Officers are everywhere. People use diapers because, without them, you have to hold it in for hours. The countdown is the most exciting part, but the urge to pee distracts you from the experience.

I ended up relieving myself in an empty bottle I found by a doorless payphone stall. People were running around jumping on cars and screaming, “Happy new year!” which was fine, but it felt like a battle zone. I was really hungry, thirsty, and wanted to be in my bed.

Stupid attemptsWikimedia.Commons

19. Hooking Up

A kernel got stuck in the back of my throat after eating some popcorn. I tried using my finger to get it, but it was difficult to reach and really stuck. So, I had the brilliant idea to use my tiny crochet hook to remove the kernel. It worked! The kernel came loose…but the hook twisted and hooked the back of my throat.

All I could think of was the nightmare of having to go to urgent care with a hook in my mouth like some fish. I panicked and refused to be a crazy ER story told time and again. So, I closed my eyes and tried yanking the hook out. But that didn’t hurt as much as having to explain to urgent care how dumb I was. I was 22.

Stupid attemptsPexels

20. One Way Down

I'm never going skydiving again. I was going first, and we chose the option to be strapped to an instructor for the fall. They showed us videos that showed how to position yourself while falling, and it looked nice and smooth and everything, almost peaceful. So, there I was, rocketing towards the ground at over 100mph.

But instead of a peaceful descent like I'd seen on the video, the wind was throwing us every which way to the point of nausea. I couldn't hear my instructor and just thought about how it all sucked. The emergency chute deployed, and my instructor shouted asking if I was okay. He went on to explain something went wrong.

The first chute had wrapped around his leg causing the rough ride and the emergency chute to deploy. If the emergency chute was controlled by the drogue chute, that would’ve been the end for me. We landed without problems, but I watched my friends become pale when I explained what had happened before it was their turn.

Stupid attemptsPexels

21. Crossing Territory

I went hiking alone one time when I was going through a hard time. Being alone on the trail was keeping me calm—until I heard a sound that made my blood run cold. It sounded like a girl screaming nearby. It freaked me right out, and then it happened again. The hairs on my body stood on end. When I looked to my right, I saw two big green eyes.

My headlamp wasn’t bright enough, so I pulled out my other light and pointed in its direction. A mountain lion stood maybe ten yards away from me. I discharged two bullets, and the cat ran off. I hadn’t hit it because I saw where I’d struck. Then I climbed up to the peak and waited until I saw more people on the trail.

Stupid attemptsFlickr



22. Warming Up

When I was seven, I loved mixing "potions." I pretended to be sick and mixed shampoo and any other cleaner or chemical liquid that I could find. I then graduated to fire. I loved playing with fire. On my eighth birthday, I was at home sitting in my living room playing with fire while my blind dad was asleep in the bedroom.

My little three-year-old brother was sleeping too. That’s when disaster struck. While I was playing, the carpet caught on fire. I panicked and ran into the bathroom. I emptied the Windex bottle to fill it with water then rushed back to pour it on the flames. It worked, but there was a pretty big burn in the carpet inches away from our cloth couch.

It was a rough birthday, and my dad gave me a lot of trouble for that. But when I think back, I was pretty lucky since I could have burned down the apartment threatening all of our lives. I never played with fire again.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

23. Keep Cool

As an immigrant to Canada, I had to try ice skating. We went to our local pond, and after watching my son falling every two minutes and getting back up like it's nothing over and over for a week, I thought it would be safe for me. It was scary for me being 250 pounds and 6'3” tall plus the skate height. The skating went okay.

I skated for half an hour, fell a few times, and thought nothing of it. The falling was not nothing. It took me two weeks for the soreness and pain to go away. But at least I tried it!

Stupid attemptsPexels

24. Reflection Out Of Service

One of my friends looked in the mirror on magic mushrooms and laughed because he said he looked goofy. But most people discourage looking in the mirror while you’re doing that stuff. I didn’t know that, so I tried it. I was fascinated at first but just for a few seconds. After that, a sudden wave of fear and anxiety crashed over me.

I started to sob uncontrollably. A friend took me away, and I calmed down after a while. I don’t know if it was seeing myself as the sentient bag of meat that freaked me out or not, but I make sure to avoid mirrors every time I trip now. Even when I’m sober, if I look in the mirror really hard, it still freaks me out.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

25. Committing To The Challenge

On vacation when I was 7, my friend and I were competing to see who could hold their breath the longest in the pool. I wasn’t good at it until I found out that floating face down in the water was easy and took less energy. But there was an unexpected side effect. My mom happened to walk by at that exact time with a plate of burgers and fries.

She started screaming, dropped the plate, jumped in the pool, and pulled my head above water. She did not expect me to be mad since she ruined my chances of winning the game. She was not very happy with me. But I never did it again!

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

26. Got Beef

I was making dinner and in the process of browning the ground beef. Out of pure curiosity, I took a small piece and ate it just to see what it tasted like. It didn’t taste like anything. Little did I know, that tasteless bite was going to ruin that entire weekend. Nasty storms of fever and diarrhea raged on in my body.

Stupid attemptsPexels

27. Car Sick

We drove our Tesla long-distance once. The idea seemed cool, but it required extra planning around charging stations. The route back home took longer because if we took a shorter one, the car would run out of battery. So, what was originally a 14-hour drive became a 24-hour drive, because not every station provided a supercharger.

After walking around for two hours downtown to come back and find the battery at 30%, charging the car was the worst. One friend told us we'd have to drive an hour out of the way to the closest supercharger that would bring the car to 100% in 20 minutes rather than staying where we'd been for hours. It was a nightmare.

Stupid attemptsFlickr

28. Wrong Direction

I was driving a high-speed car on a drag strip when the tires lifted off the ground as I went over 100mph. I felt like I was on ice, slid sideways, and let go of the throttle. I thankfully touched ground again, but I was in shock. It was so bad that I went back, put the car on the trailer, and called it for the season.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

29. Showing Stripes

I forgot to bring my shirt home to clean it. I had deodorant in my locker and got the bright idea to roll it all over the outside of the shirt to get rid of the smell. After half an hour, the white streaks started to show up on my blue shirt. I had to act like I had no idea what was happening because I was too ashamed to tell anyone the truth.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

30. Over My Head

In the early 2000s, I had just bought a 24” TV. It was too big to fit in my car, but I had roof racks. Thinking I was clever, I strapped the box to the roof racks. When I got home without any issues, I automatically went to park in the garage. Big mistake. I crushed the roof racks and put a dent in the roof of the car.

There was a huge rip on the TV box, and I crushed the garage font beam. I was left with the bill to fix the roof racks and the garage and one very angry father. Thankfully, the TV remained unharmed and worked for a long time after that.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

31. One With Nature

My friend was getting married and wanted to spend her bachelorette weekend camping. I had never been camping but two of us had. They dragged me on the hour hike to the campsite with their little dog. We had to cross a river to get there. The river was low and slow enough at one spot where we crossed. It was terrifying—but that was just the beginning of my miserable weekend.

Our tent sagged in the middle after we set it up on the sand. The bride realized she forgot her insulin in the trunk of the car. So, they left me there, alone, with their small dog and told me to make a fire, which wasn't easy, but I did it. I then waited for them hoping nothing bad would happen. They came back safely.

That night it rained. When we retreated to the tent, it was not waterproof. Our solution was to build a moat around the base to keep the water out. In the middle of the night, nature called, so I had to find a place away from the tent to do my business. I swear I saw animal eyes in the forest staring at me. Terrifying.

My friends had put the food by the river and left it there to keep it cold. The next morning, the eggs, bacon, cheese, were all gone. Something had eaten it. We hiked back into town to buy ourselves breakfast sandwiches. Then we returned to our campsite. The rest of the trip went okay until Sunday when we had to leave.

We were burning our trash when, suddenly, there was a hailstorm. We all dashed into the tent and stood inside it holding up the roof from collapsing under the weight of the hailstones. We had to wait out the storm before going back. Finally, it ended but now the tent was soaking wet, so we ended up abandoning it there.

But the tent was my parent’s, and we had borrowed it. We hiked back then went home. My parents were very angry. Except it was not about the abandoned tent but because I came back hours later after they had expected me. They thought a bear ate me. My friend did retrieve the tent, but I swore I would never do that again.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

32. Breaking Protocol

I met up with a girl off a dating app for a hookup, and she catfished me. Her pictures were older, and she’d put on some weight and wasn’t very put together. She was already at my place, so I thought I’d be polite and talk to her for a bit before calling it a night because I had to leave to work early the next morning.

Eventually, things lead to her bragging about her tongue skills, and by the end of it, we slept together. I felt icky and disappointed since I didn’t find her attractive. After reminding her that I had to sleep, she told me she had to pick up her friend from the airport. So, she asked to stay in bed for 20 more minutes.

I begrudgingly agreed and then pass out. At 2 in the morning, I woke up with her next to me snoring. I shook her to tell her that she had to get her friend, but she played asleep. With no time to waste for sleep, I went back to bed. Then at 5, I took my shower and tried to get her to leave when I had to leave for work.

She refused to get up. She tried getting me to stay in bed together and introducing me to her roommate who’d love me and think we’re great together. This was after a mutual casual hookup! After getting her to leave I texted her explaining my discomfort then blocked her…never again.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

33. Kiss And Makeup

I was 17 and walked out of the store with the tester eyeliner from the makeup aisle. The security guard brought me to a small room to “question” me and ask for my information. Then, to scare me, he told me that the incident would stay on my permanent record, which meant that companies would never hire me in the future.

I burst into tears and had a panic attack. He told me that he’d let me go but only if I paid double the price of the eyeliner. I did, and he let me go. Now, I don't know how much of what he told me was real and if the resolve was legitimate, but if he tried to just scare me into not becoming a serial swiper, it worked.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

34. Smooth Sailings

I was in a relationship with a woman who had quite a deep kink streak. She was quite into this hot 'n spicy lube. The lube lived in a drawer next to my bed by a tube of a more standard lube. One morning, I decide to have a bit of fun with a toy. Unfortunately, in my rush to self-pleasure, I grabbed the wrong lube tube.

I love me some hot food, so I'm familiar with the ring of fire. But the exit of a hot curry had nothing on this. I went straight to the bath and ran cold water, which unsurprisingly did nothing for my internals. I did it once and never again.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

35. What, Are You Chili?

I ate a dried scorpion pepper as a dare when I was a kid. It sent me into shock, and so my school called an ambulance. On the bright side, I have a really high tolerance for other spicy food now. The doctor poked fun at me saying that I was the new version of, “if your friends told you to jump off a bridge, would you?”

Stupid attemptsPixabay

36. Jungle Boogie

Hiking through jungles looks beautiful in movies, but, in reality, it's everything but. They're just brutal. First, the humidity drenches you to the bone and comes with no relief. Being under a jungle canopy is like being in a pressure cooker. The heat and humidity make jungles one of the hardest environments to be in.

And that’s not even the end of it. It is impossible to escape the swarms of biting bugs. From the infinite mosquitoes, terrifying giant spiders on every leaf, branch, or vine, ticks all over, to aggressive fire ant conflicts, a person can expect more bug bites than they could ever imagine having.


37. Roundabout Way

When I was 4, I was by myself while my mom was out and my dad was holed up in his room. I decided to put a marble in my mouth. It got stuck in my airway. Thankfully, I somehow coughed it out before it lodged in my throat. I realized the gravity of what’d happened that day, but now I know how close I was to suffocating.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

38. Seatbelts, Everyone!

I thought it’d be fun to sit on the back of my friend’s car while he drove off in the parking lot. He got carried away throwing me off as he turned. I landed on my side, broke my clavicle, got road rash, and needed staples in my head. My mom was not pleased. If I landed a foot further, I probably wouldn’t have made it.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

39. Grab And Go

I sped-walked to the shop to grab a dollar drink and then just walked out with it. I was running back to my friend then felt something in my pocket. I stopped to pull it out. It was the dollar. I turned around and ran back so fast to the store. When I got there, the clerk was scanning outside their shop looking for me.

I gave them the dollar and apologized. They looked at the dollar and then at each other before speaking a different language and going back inside. I walked back to my friends in shame.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

40. Baby Fever

I will never go through pregnancy ever again. The first trimester was so much nausea to the point where I couldn’t eat anything. So, I became too weak to keep working and fainted after standing for too long. My work didn’t want to accommodate me because my manager did not believe me when I told her that I was pregnant.

I couldn’t afford a doctor’s note either. I was also not aware of the pill that I could’ve taken early on. Then the second trimester was constipation. It’d be a week with nothing then a little relief or gas, and no laxative worked. It was a pain that I never want to experience again. My final trimester did not improve.

I had a foot on my stomach so couldn’t eat again. The other foot was on my lungs, so I couldn’t take a full breath. Any time my bladder filled up, he’d punch it so hard, I’d pee myself. I also had to deal with heartburn that made it impossible for me to sleep. And overall, all of the kicking and punching hurt me a lot.

When I was in labor, it took twenty minutes to push him out, so my epidural wore off right at the start. So, I felt everything but had no control of my legs. I was in a humiliating position with people holding my legs feeling everything because they took their sweet time to get another epidural then never actually did.

When it was over, the doctor pulled out the placenta rather than let it pass, which almost made me bleed out. The veins in both my hands were blown up, which was why I didn’t get the epidural, and I didn’t want anything else stabbing me after the first needle. Everything made me uncomfortable. I just wanted to go home.

But it doesn’t end there. The healing process is its own painful experience. I didn’t need stitches but ripped so going to the washroom hurt so badly that I can barely describe it. Everything down there was swollen, and I couldn’t sit down properly. It took me three weeks to be able to stand for longer periods of time.

I went through two weeks of standing up and filling an entire large pad. So, each time I’d stand up, I had to go to the washroom. It was six weeks of feeling so tender that it was excruciating to wipe. Four months later, and I still can’t pee properly. The doctors assume it’s because I’m not doing the proper exercises.

But I do them every time I think about it. Pregnancy sucked and messes you up for longer than just nine months. I do not ever want to make what's already going on worse or relive that entire experience. No thanks.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

41. Trying Nothing

I spent 45 minutes in a Sensory Deprivation Tank. I couldn’t hear, see, or, with the hyper-salinized water keeping you afloat that’s set exactly at your body temperature, feel anything either. It was an amazing experience that I'm glad I did, but I don't think I'd do it again. It was like nothing else I have ever felt.

The brain doesn't know how to react to zero input, so it was terrifying, peaceful or transcendent at times. With no stimulus, the brain hallucinates colors, and it’s like floating in a void. It was simultaneously awesome and weird and awful.

Stupid attemptsFlikcr

42. Presently Disappointed

I participated in an online gift exchange. I don't have a lot of money but really wanted to be involved. I took a lot of time searching for a few meaningful, well-chosen gifts for my giftee—only to get my heart broken. Not only did I never receive a gift even though the person had marked it as shipped, but I spent money that I didn’t really have.

And that didn’t include the extra international shipping fee. Plus, my giftee never posted their gift online. I hope they got it and liked it and just forgot because I tried really hard to brighten someone's day. It probably ranks in my top ten disappointments.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

43. Inside Out

I went caving with a trained group. But my friend and I decided to go back to the surface ourselves after the half-hour descent. We’d had to zig-zag shelves and squeeze through them. Parts of the descent made me uncomfortable as a 6’4” tall guy in such tight corners. I had to remove my small bag several times to fit through.

We took at least three wrong paths that lead nowhere and needed to backtrack. When we finally got out of there, we were exhausted and totally caked in thick mud. The relief was so immense that I vowed never to climb inside the Earth again. It sucked.

Stupid attemptsPexels

44. Abrupt End

I was learning to drive and wondered what happened if you slam the brakes down to the floorboards as hard as possible. I guess I thought it’d be like the movies. It was at a fairly low speed, and all it did was almost snap the head off the poor guy trying to teach me how to drive and end my chance to practice that day.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock

45. Fresh Air

I stayed at my sister’s place one night, and for the life of us, we could not find the vacuum cleaner to blow up the spare mattress. So, I came up with a plan—and it could’ve got me killed. I had the bright idea of using the car exhaust to blow up the mattress. Back then, the car used leaded petrol. I usually slept with the windows and door closed, so I got really lucky.

When I woke up the next morning, the mattress was half-filled, and the room was smoggy. Since I was lower to the ground near the door, the draft kept me alive.

Stupid attemptsFlickr

46. You Live Like This?

I met this woman on a dating app who was very cute and thought the same of me. We were both open about what we wanted, and that same week we had a booty call set up. When I got there, there was no AC, her windows and doors were missing, and there were flies and roaches all over her walls. I wanted to leave right then.

I made something up and got out of there after saying bye to her. I felt bad, but those conditions must be disclosed to potential guests. It was a long drive there and back home again. I used the ride home to think about what I'd just experienced. I decided that I'd never drive that far just to sleep with a girl again.

These People Tried New Things And Failed HorriblyPexels

47. Rock And A Hard Shape

I’m out of shape and had never in my life rock climbed. When someone said that I wouldn’t be able to climb a steep ledge by the ocean, I did it just to prove that I could. I realized that I got really lucky that day. One wrong move like leaning back for just a second could’ve plunged me a hundred feet to my grisly end.

I did the 70–80-degree angle climb with no gear or rope. It was just two of us in a remote area with no service, and I probably wouldn’t have been found for days or even weeks if I’d fallen. Even if I had fallen, I don’t think the person who was with me would’ve known what to do.

Stupid attemptsPexels

48. Birthday Mission

I celebrated my 18th and 19th at the same time by sharing a big bottle of Jaeger. I only remember the first step out the door and then waking up in the alley behind the club. Someone had wrapped me up in a carpet and propped me between a wall and an old desk where my hat was. I woke up but couldn’t make sense of things.

I couldn't look up, so I analyzed the floor. I could just make out where I was due to the familiar sidewalks and figured out the way to go. It felt like I was in a movie adventure completing a difficult mission. But I got to the front of the house where all my friends were hanging out. They were all relieved to see me. I thought my nightmare was over, but I was so wrong.

I think I just smiled and fell into the front porch bed knocking out. I woke up again feeling sick and to a beautiful woman staring at me who said, “Oh, good. He’s alive.” But I closed my eyes for what felt like a second. When I opened them again, I went to the bathroom and saw puke all over my face and inside my nose.

I didn’t remember, but it looked like I had a great time. After cleaning myself up, I picked up my hat and went home to sleep more. It took years for the missing eight hours to come back. But it was through store employees, people at the club, or just people who’d seen me that day as the crazy fun guy who talked a lot.

When we bought the bottle, the cashier told me that I’d been a connoisseur. He told me that I walked up and down the aisle. When someone asked if I needed help, I said, “I can read, thank you very much,” calmly. I told the cashier about my plight with the prices and kept asking him to point out the dryness scale number.

That was three hours of my missing time. I spent the rest of my time going in and out of the club. Then around two or three in the morning, I passed out in the middle of the dancefloor. So, the bouncer who knew me brought me out back, wrapped me in the carpet for warmth, and made sure I was hidden from strangers.

He checked on me a few times before the end of his shift. Now, I can’t even look at a bottle of that stuff.

Stupid attemptsShutterstock


Sources: Reddit,

More from Factinate

Featured Article

My mom never told me how her best friend died. Years later, I was using her phone when I made an utterly chilling discovery.

Dark Family Secrets

Dark Family Secrets Exposed

Nothing stays hidden forever—and these dark family secrets are proof that when the truth comes out, it can range from devastating to utterly chilling.
April 8, 2020 Samantha Henman

Featured Article

Madame de Pompadour was the alluring chief mistress of King Louis XV, but few people know her dark history—or the chilling secret shared by her and Louis.

Madame de Pompadour Facts

Entrancing Facts About Madame de Pompadour, France's Most Powerful Mistress

Madame de Pompadour was the alluring chief mistress of King Louis XV, but few people know her dark history—or the chilling secret shared by her and Louis.
December 7, 2018 Kyle Climans

More from Factinate

Featured Article

I tried to get my ex-wife served with divorce papers. I knew that she was going to take it badly, but I had no idea about the insane lengths she would go to just to get revenge and mess with my life.

These People Got Genius Revenges

When someone really pushes our buttons, we'd like to think that we'd hold our head high and turn the other cheek, but revenge is so, so sweet.
April 22, 2020 Scott Mazza

Featured Article

Catherine of Aragon is now infamous as King Henry VIII’s rejected queen—but few people know her even darker history.

Catherine of Aragon Facts

Tragic Facts About Catherine of Aragon, Henry VIII’s First Wife

Catherine of Aragon is now infamous as King Henry VIII’s rejected queen—but very few people know her even darker history.
June 7, 2018 Christine Tran

Dear reader,

Want to tell us to write facts on a topic? We’re always looking for your input! Please reach out to us to let us know what you’re interested in reading. Your suggestions can be as general or specific as you like, from “Life” to “Compact Cars and Trucks” to “A Subspecies of Capybara Called Hydrochoerus Isthmius.” We’ll get our writers on it because we want to create articles on the topics you’re interested in. Please submit feedback to Thanks for your time!

Do you question the accuracy of a fact you just read? At Factinate, we’re dedicated to getting things right. Our credibility is the turbo-charged engine of our success. We want our readers to trust us. Our editors are instructed to fact check thoroughly, including finding at least three references for each fact. However, despite our best efforts, we sometimes miss the mark. When we do, we depend on our loyal, helpful readers to point out how we can do better. Please let us know if a fact we’ve published is inaccurate (or even if you just suspect it’s inaccurate) by reaching out to us at Thanks for your help!

Warmest regards,

The Factinate team

Want to learn something new every day?

Join thousands of others and start your morning with our Fact Of The Day newsletter.

Thank you!

Error, please try again.