There are bad customers or rude waiters, and then there are these people. They take the phrase “customer service fail” to the next level, so buckle in for these jaw-dropping stories about people who absolutely, definitely should not be allowed in public.
1. Everybody’s Got a Story
Once I went to a place known for it’s Cuban sandwiches with my family. We were all really excited, because we like food in my family. So we get our drinks and everything seems fine. We were seated immediately and everyone was really nice. Our waitress brings us our drinks and says she’ll be back in a bit to take our food orders.
We’re conversing and such, so we don’t notice immediately how long it’s taking for our waitress to come back. We wait another 20 minutes just in case. The place is pretty empty, so eventually we ask another server if they know what happened to our server. He says he’ll go check, but that he’ll take our food orders if we’re ready to speed up the process.
About 45 minutes later, my dad is about to explode. It doesn’t take that long to make four sandwiches. He’s about to go complain when, as if on cue, our waitress comes running and screaming out of the kitchen and goes right on out the front door. Everyone goes completely silent and just watches the door for a couple seconds. Then we found out the dark truth.
It turns out she had a nervous breakdown right about when we ordered our food. She had been just pacing around in the kitchen, slowly becoming unhinged. The manager apologized and we got free sandwiches. The moral of the story, though, is that you never know what is going on with your server. Maybe they’re doing a bad job, but they might be on the edge of snapping entirely.
2. Wrong Pizza Pie
I was standing at the counter of the pizza place I work at. A lady storms in and slams a pizza down on the counter. “This isn’t the pizza I ordered, what are you going to do about?” she asked. I look at the pizza, then at my buddy Nick, then back at her and say, “Nothing.” She then goes on a long rant telling how we are going to be fired, how stupid and incompetent we were, then asked why weren’t going to do anything? I could barely stifle my laughter at that point.
I told her, “Because that pizza came from the pizza shop across the street.” I think she actually managed to shrink in size and slunk out looking so pathetic and beaten I almost felt bad for laughing till tears dripped down my face as she slunk off.
3. Bait and Switch
I used to be a hostess in a chain. I’ll never forget this family of eight who gave me—THE HOSTESS—a $25 tip on a $50 bill, all because they hated their waitress and I was the one who kept refilling their drinks. The waitress was beyond peeved, but my manager said to her: “Should have been paying more attention…the tip is hers.” Best day ever.
4. You Gotta Beat the System
In my first years in the Army, I also worked a part-time job as an optician in the local mall. One day a lady came in with her mother (about age 40 and 60) and they were quite hyper and giggling at each other. I asked if I could help them and they had a prescription for lenses. No problem. She then asks if she can use her existing frames, and I was like “Sure, we can just do lenses.”
She proceeds to hand me a pair of extremely cheap sunglasses she got from a dollar store. I told her that there was no way those glasses would standup to having lenses changed out. She insisted that I “already said she could.” I asked her if she was sure, because it was almost guaranteed they would be destroyed in the process. She still insisted.
I pointed out the sign we had up, saying we weren’t responsible for damages—it was next to the register—and asked her one last time. She said yes again. Ok, I put them in the hotbox, a box of heated sand you use to loosen up plastic frames to get the lenses out, and they melted into goo pretty much instantly, as expected.
She was over my shoulder watching with these wild eyes, and when I pulled them out after a few seconds she started screaming about how we destroyed her glasses and now we owe her free glasses. Her mom got in on the action at that point and started shouting also about how I did it on purpose. I handed them back to her and said something like “Ma’am, I told you so.”
They went into even more hysterics and by this time were attracting glances from passersby at the mall. I just walked into the backroom to the lab guy and was like, dude, you deal with this, I’m done. I then watched as he masterfully over-charged her about $100 for a $20 frame—it was on the display rack for $100, but we had a pile of the same frames in the discount drawer for $20, giving her a “20% discount” in the process.
I was there when she picked them up in about an hour, acting like she won the lottery at my expense because I was so incompetent. I was still young and had no idea the insanity people would go through to save a few dollars and “stick it to the man.”
5. Bad Boys Bad Boys What’cha Gonna Do?
I work at an auto parts store. This one guy took some $60 headlights, didn’t pay for them, and literally sprinted out the door. We went to look outside to try and get his license plate, just in time to see him speed off, hit a curb, and blow out his tire. I called 9-1-1 and the idiot got arrested and had to have his car towed.
6. I Didn’t Order A #2
I worked nights at McDonald’s and was at the drive-thru. I was taking an order for a bunch of wasted girls when I overheard one of the girls say that she seriously needed to poop. Her friends apparently did not care and told her to go outside. So, she stepped out of the car and knelt down in the bushes next to the car.
The bushes were in plain view of the security camera. Everybody inside the place saw her, and it was a full-blown mess. So, I told her through the service window that everyone could see her. The look of sheer horror the girl made through the security feed made everyone burst in laughter including her friends. Poor kid.
7. Be Careful What You Whine for
One day at my call center, this lady lays into me for the amount of her bill, calling me every bad word in the English language. She claims we over-billed her by about $20, and she is demanding that I go through her home entertainment system order point by point. Come to find out we under-billed her by a $1,000 dollars due to a misplaced zero. The silence on the other end of the line was so beautiful.
8. Pizza and Revenge Are Both Served Cold
I was working at a pizza restaurant and this woman for delivery and requests a shortened delivery time. The manager tells her we can’t do that. The woman gives up and calls a competing pizza place. She then calls us back and tells us that the other place could do what she wanted. My manager, confused, expresses that he is happy for her.
She calls back again and tells the manager that nobody better vandalize her house because she canceled her order, and if her house gets wrecked she will know it was us. My boss, even more confused, assures her that no one cares enough about her canceled order to seek retribution and that lots of people cancel orders.
Seemingly satisfied, she hangs up and we think that it ends there. We were so wrong. About an hour later, two law enforcement officers show up to talk to the manager. This woman pre-emptively called law enforcement on a pizza restaurant for a hypothetical crime that hasn’t happened and wasn’t going to happen.
9. Hear No Evil
I worked at Burger King when I was a teenager. We’re short-staffed one day, and the girl on the drive-thru was on break, so our manager stepped in to cover her. He was pretty old and didn’t have the best hearing, so most customers were pulling around to the window to talk to him as he was struggling to hear the orders.
One guy got to the window and yelled, “I want a large Big Mac meal with a Coke! Is that so hard?!” My manager very calmly said, “My apologies, sir, that won’t be difficult.” He leaned out the window and then proceeded to give this jerk a taste of his own medicine. He pointed down the road, “There’s a McDonald’s about three miles in that direction. They’ll be able to help you.” He finished with, “Have a nice day, sir.” Then he just closed the window and walked around the corner out of sight. I laughed so hard!
10. Zero Tolerance Policy
I went to McDonald’s a few years ago in Alberta. I went with a friend of mine, and we just both happened to be gay. In a laughing sort of situation, he said that we should pretend to be dating. I asked if he was crazy and he said, “Well, it’ll be funny to see the reactions.” So he held my hand and put his head on my shoulder.
We shuffled up and I ordered my food and also said, “And my fiancé here will have a (insert insanely fattening meal here).” My friend, Jake, put this massive dopey grin on his face and reached up and kissed me. Me, being fairly good at improv, kissed back. The server, who before this had already seemed ill at ease, refused to serve us.
He stood there with a defiant look on his face, refusing to fill our order. When I asked what was wrong, he looked at me and said, “I’m not letting some filth get the right to eat here.” I, taken aback, immediately responded by telling him to go get his manager. He refused. I asked again. He refused. Jake decided it was time to drop the charade and tried to explain that it was a joke.
The server said “No, you’re both filthy. I watched you kiss.” We stood there for a few minutes, trying to argue sense into this moron, and then we saw a flash of a manager’s shirt outside. I told Jake to go get him. Jake runs out, gets the manager, and hauls him back in. The manager is standing there on the floor with me and Jake and I’m trying to explain.
By now we’ve gathered a small group of people watching, including a couple of other servers. The manager just looks at me up and down and says, “I don’t see what the problem is here. You don’t deserve rights” and walked away. I was flabbergasted and so upset. Then one of the people in the “audience” comes over to us.
He’s dressed in a suit, and he says he’s going to sue the place on our behalf if he doesn’t serve us. The manager still refuses. The guy in the suit, who turns out to be a lawyer named Andrew, says that the manager needs to provide the owner’s information anyway. We get the phone number of the guy who owns the place. He says he’ll be right there and he arrives.
He then proceeds to fire the server and the manager in front of us as well as giving us free coupons and a free meal. Sweet, sweet, justice.
11. Standing My Ground
I had a lady who got mad because she’d put her coffee on the roof of her car, and it spilled. So, because she was a regular, she believed she deserved free coffee. We said no. She said she was calling our owner operator. We just got bought by another corporation so we gave her the store number. I pretended to be a secretary. After an, ahem, acrimonious phone call, she went to drive off. This is where the story goes off the rails.
As she’s trying to drive out of the parking lot, her car broke down. She couldn’t afford a tow, and for some reason, the store manager absolutely refused to help her out and call anyone. So, she literally ended up living out of her car in our parking lot for the next two weeks until my manager finally made the call. Crazy times.
12. Lean and Mean
I was out to dinner with my family. We sit down, order our drinks, and so far everything is going nicely. The waitress comes and we order. When it gets to my mom, she orders what she wants, and the waitress responds with, “If you’re on a diet, you don’t want that.” My mom had said nothing whatsoever about being on a diet.
She is slightly overweight, and I mean very slightly. She is self-conscious about it and it’s difficult to even get her to come out to eat with us. My mom simply said, “I’m not on a diet” with a cold stare. The waitress turned red in the face and walked off to place our orders. At least she had the decency to be ashamed of herself.
13. Expensive Tastes
A woman was unreasonably upset that we stopped carrying a certain type of hummus at our expensive grocery store. Attempting to be helpful, I told her that Target had started carrying the same kind and, while I wished we still carried it for her, perhaps that could be a good replacement. I never expected her ridiculous reaction.
She literally stopped writing her check and looked at me with the most definite What-the-heck-is-wrong-with-you face and said, “What makes you think I would ever buy food from a Target? That is disgusting.” I get the feeling she wouldn’t even let me bag her groceries if she saw all the Great Value boxes in my cabinet. Sorry to offend you, lady.
14. Look for the Light
This is kinda morbid but once I had a drunk guy at the drive-thru window when I worked at McDonald’s trying to place an order on foot. I opened the window and explained that we can’t take orders from pedestrians at the window and asked him to come into the restaurant. He became hostile so I told him to get lost and closed the window.
Fast forward an hour, and law enforcement are at the front counter asking for CCTV footage in relation to a collision just up the road. Turns out the guy I told to get lost was hit by a car just minutes after he left the window. It still troubles me that if I met his confrontation with kindness instead of dismissing him he would’ve maybe come into the restaurant and would still be alive today.
I found his name in the local paper and tried to find him on Facebook kind of hoping to find that he was a really bad person or something but I never found anything. I came across the expression recently “Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” I try to live by that always now.
15. Don’t Tip Off Your Server
So the past weekend we went to a restaurant for dinner with my girlfriend and her friends for her birthday. We had about 10 people and had about 5 different tabs which all included an 18% minimum tip. The service was terrible, the server was incredibly rude and would always response with some kind of sarcasm when we asked questions about the menu.
He took the wrong drink orders twice and blamed us for getting them wrong. Brought all the apps and entrees at the same time and got upset when we said we didn’t want the apps anymore. My friend paid in cash and when he brought back change, there was no receipt. She was expecting to see 5 bucks and some change back. When the server came back there was no receipt and only 4 bucks and change there.
She asked him to see the receipt to see if she had miscalculated cause she expected 5 dollars and then some back. Instead of saying something along the lines of “I’ll go check” or something accommodating like that, the dude got irritated and said that he threw away the receipt and reached for his wallet and said, “How about I just give you a dollar if you want it that bad.”
That ticked us all off so we didn’t leave any extra tip. I wrote down “NOPE!” on my receipt in the additional tip line. when I went to use the men’s room before leaving, he tapped my shoulder as I was washing my hands and goes, “You think you’re pretty funny with that tip don’t you? Why don’t we step outside so I can show you how funny I can be?”
I’m like “What?” and called the manager over and told him her server wanted to fight me cause I didn’t tip him. I explained the whole situation to her while the dude was just eyeing me the whole time. Other servers had to calm him down cause he kept trying to interrupt me when I was talking to the manager. I declined all their gift cards because I don’t wanna come back to a place where the staff is gonna shank me.
16. Quality In-Patient
In the hospital, I had a patient throw her hospital toothbrush at me because the room wasn’t up to her standards. After it hit me on the head, she demanded to be transferred to a “better room with better service.” Uh, ma’am, this is a hospital and not a hotel.
17. Some Secrets Aren’t Worth Keeping
I work at a pizza delivery business. I had a guy one day call in and order for delivery. I asked for the address, and they wouldn’t tell me. I kept asking, then the guy told me he didn’t know what the address is. I asked how I was supposed to deliver with no address, and he threw a tantrum and said he’d order from somewhere else. Well, he’s their problem now!
18. No Catch
At Panera, a guest called from their car with a chorus in the background giving orders for pickup. First order was simple, but the next order was something we didn’t carry; it had salmon. Some regional Paneras did have or have had salmon, but we were not one of them. So I politely said, “Sorry, but salmon is not an item we carry.”
Just as I was about to suggest an alternative for the customer, the person on the other end of the phone cut me off and started getting really aggressive, “Yes, you do! You do!” they screamed. But we don’t. We just don’t. Then I’m like, “Hey, maybe you’re thinking of another chain. We are very similar to…” and then I listed off some other places.
But, again, they cut me off screaming, “I know you have the salmon! I just ate it the other day!” And, by now, I was just being honest with them and said, “Hey man, I don’t really need this attitude. We don’t have salmon. I can’t make the dish for you. You got us confused with something else.” Then there was this very long, ominous silence.
Finally, someone who wasn’t the person who had been yelling about salmon, said, “Wait, this isn’t *insert some totally not Panera sounding place that I don’t remember here*?” I went, “No,” and then immediately everyone in the car started yelling at each other, and then I hung up. Customer service is the absolute worst.
19. Not a Feed Store
I used to work in a luxury perfume shop while at university, and I had more bizarre interactions than I can count. My favorite was an old lady. She came in, wearing a dirty housecoat and slippers, frantically searching in the store. I asked her if I can help, but she said no, and went on with her search. After a while, she came to me and said: “Ok, I give up, and just ask. Do you have horse food?”
I told her politely, we didn’t. And she started loudly yelling: “I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT SO MUCH” It took us at least 10 minutes to calm her down. She then filed a complaint and left.
20. Shining A Light On Bad Service
My parents and I decided to try a new, trendy pizza place right around the corner from my apartment one night last month. We decide to sit outside because the weather was nice and they had a big patio and a side deck. Everyone working at this place had an attitude, from the hostess who seated us to the waitress taking our orders. They made us feel like a huge inconvenience, but we were hungry and had heard the pizza was good so we tried to look past that.
As soon as we are seated on the patio the girl offers to lower the shades because the sun was setting and was directly in our line of sight. We say that would be great and a guy comes out and lowers the blinds for us. We order our drinks and look over the menu. Not even five minutes later a young guy comes to our table incredibly ticked off that the blinds were lowered. In a very condescending manner, he tells us that he’s going to have to raise the blinds because they trap heat in the patio ultimately raising the patio temperature about 20 degrees.
My dad politely tells him that the sun is in our eyes and that they really shouldn’t offer to lower the shades if it’s going to cause a problem. The guy snaps. He is incredibly disrespectful toward my father and goes on a tangent assuring us that the sun would set and even going as far as to take his sunglasses off of his head and offering them to my dad.
He’s young, maybe 25, and treating us like we’re imbeciles saying that our request to lower the shades would make the other customers less comfortable. Whatever, they raise the blinds and we question whether or not we’ll stay to order food. We stay. Our drinks arrive and we take a few more minutes to look over the menu. The waitress is nowhere to be found.
We sit there in awkward silence trying to get past what had just happened. Other tables are seated and the hostess offers to lower the shades for each table. We finish our drinks and the waitress still hasn’t returned to take our order. We contemplate leaving but she finally shows and we order. The food came out cold, but one of the managers was walking around asking how everything was.
We told him about the sunglasses prick and he was furious. I haven’t seen the guy working there since.
21. Tipping His Hand
More than a few decades ago, I worked at a Denny’s. I had two male customers who decided to dine and dash. Got their license plate number and reported it to the authorities, and then jokingly mentioned that they didn’t even tip! Later that night, they got pulled over for something else, but officers recognized the license plate number from the report.
They brought them both back to the restaurant and forced them to pay the bill. After they were done paying, the officer just stood there and looked at them and said, well? The guy sheepishly handed me my tip.
22. The Justice System
I was working the window at Mcdonald’s late at night. This guy orders and pulls up. When I walked up to the window, I didn’t see that the jerk had trash in his lap. I open the window to take his card/cash, and he throws the bag of trash at me. I take a step back, bothered that I just got trash thrown at me, and I watch his car speed off.
I’m angry, but there’s nothing I can do. A couple seconds later, I hear a small “bang” of metal on metal. I walk to the lobby and look out the windows. The idiot had just slammed into a officer’s cruiser. The guy was about to loop around and use the drive thru himself. Of course, I also went to tell the officer what just happened inside.
23. Bad Day at the Office
I work in a government office. A dude came in with a can opener to threaten the receptionist, then relieved himself on the carpet.
24. I Find You Oh So Charming!
Old guy kept coming up to my register with his oddly silent, uncomfortable wife. He gave me a cheesy grin every time before he rolled back around and said, “I see why they keep you up here, sweetie. You’re the charmer, huh?” Mind you, I haven’t said much to this guy outside of ringing up his wife’s stuff. He wouldn’t let it go either because they hung around the store for a solid two hours.
The guy would watch me over the displays and if I met his gaze, there goes another cheesy grin. He comes up again and at this point, I’m quietly bargaining with God to strike me down because I don’t want to deal with this creep anymore. He makes his wife buy a hat, so he has an excuse to come up to my register. “Have you thought of going to charm school? You don’t need it, dear!”
I force a laugh and hope my personal misery is over, but that’s wishful thinking. One more time, this man and his wife—who is now eyeing me up like she wants something—stroll by. He leans in and I lean back because I don’t want any of what he’s offering. “You better cancel that application to charm school…see you around!” and off they finally go.
25. Plot Twister
It wasn’t the customer, it was the manager. She was AWFUL. She was rude, intentionally picked out favorites and gave them presents in front of everyone, messed up schedules on purpose for people she didn’t like, etc. Worst manager ever. So one day there was a huge storm coming in, and people were really worried about it.
Like, the news was telling people to stay home, other businesses were closing, all that. So it was up to her to either keep our store open or close it. Of course, she kept it open. Because schools closed, only half our scheduled employees showed up, the rest called in—and she called her favorites and told them they didn’t have to come in.
Well, as the like 5 of us who showed up were standing there, watching out the front windows, she starts yelling at us, threatening to write us all up, and we are like—no one is here, all the work is done, we are watching the wind BEND TREES OVER and worried about if we are safe or will even be able to get home.
Right about this time, we hear a SUPER LOUD crashing noise. CAHCHUNK – CAHCHUNK – CAHCHUNK – CAHCHUNK – WHAM! As the industrial air conditioner on top of the building got BLOWN OFF. Like it rolled along the roof, then went flying into the parking lot….Right onto her car. It was so perfect it was surreal.
Right in the center, smashed her car flat. Like if she had been in it, she would have been a goner. And it only happened because she parked right up by the building, where we had SPECIFICALLY been told not to park for the storm. All our cars were out in the farthest corner of the lot. We later found out her insurance didn’t cover the damage because it was an “act of god.”
26. You’re the Worst
I was a supervisor at a call center for a major online retailer who was involved in a data breach a few years ago. As usual, we required all of our customers to change their passwords. I had to take over a call from a lady who was absolutely refusing to change her password. I tried to explain as nicely as possible and she kept me on the phone for an hour insulting me and screaming about how wrong this was.
Ultimately she told me that I, personally, was worse than a dictator and that making her change her password was an offense worse than hurting a bunch of people. No joke. I am not exaggerating at all.
27. Face Journey
A woman came in and wanted a morning-after pill. While my co-worker was getting it, she told me about the activities which made the pill necessary, with focus on the guy’s unmentionables—it had been a disappointment, and apparently why she decided she didn’t want the guy’s children after all. Since she didn’t speak the language very well this was mostly done with gestures and facial expressions, but I, unfortunately, got the gist.
28. Secret Agent Man
I used to work at McDonald’s. A very well-dressed and well-groomed man asked for a cheeseburger without onions and we gave him one. He came back up a moment later, ranting about how the person who made his burger was trying to hurt him. I started to take it back to the grill area to be remade but noticed that there weren’t actually any onions on it. I gently mentioned that I didn’t see any onions, but could he point out anything on the burger that he didn’t like and I would get him a new one.
He snaps up to his full height and announces, “OF COURSE THERE AREN’T ANYMORE.” I hadn’t taken the burger out of his sight. He told me in detail how the CIA was after him because of his top-secret research. They had operatives all over the city to compromise his food and they had probably just switched it back when I wasn’t looking. He certainly didn’t blame me for the onions.
I got him a new burger, and every time he came in after that, he waited for me specifically because he knew I wasn’t a plant.
29. Unnatural Frequencies
When I worked in a thrift store, it was protocol for the production workers to write a number with a red dry erase marker on all of the electronics, to indicate the date they went out on the floor. This would help determine which items to get off of the shelves if they had been sitting there too long and weren’t selling. It was also our policy that electronic items were final sale because people would buy them and break them or remove parts, and then try to return them.
A woman came in one morning trying to return a small flat-screen TV. I explained to her that all electronics were final sale and showed that it was indicated on her receipt. I was feeling generous that day since she was polite and considered returning it anyway if it wasn’t working, so I asked her the reason. I couldn’t believe her answer. She pointed out the little red dry erase number and said “I need to return this because it has the mark of the beast on it.”
I was taken aback and asked her to explain further. She explained that she took the tv home and when she plugged it in the TV displayed static and a low-frequency sound that hypnotized her and her children. She said that Satan was trying to communicate with her through the TV. I didn’t know what to say, so I just explained to her that the dry erase is just the date and showed her that it rubs right off with my thumb. The number was not 666, by the way.
I broke policy and allowed her to exchange it for something else, all while having no idea how to react to what she just told me. You bet as soon as she left I went and plugged that TV in to see what happened—and of course it was normal.
30. Blue Pills
I used to work at an adult store. It was a clean and classy joint, mostly marketed toward female clientele. One afternoon, an older customer came in asking for “the blue pills that come in the bottle.” He was looking for Viagra. I tried to explain that we didn’t carry that, but he was insistent that I was hiding it from him. I told him he needed to speak with his doctor to get a prescription and he just got REAL mad.
It soon became clear that “blue pills” was code for something else. I told him we didn’t have this either, and that what he was suggesting was against the law. He got angrier, because “What I am wanting is to pay for fun with YOU, stupid girl!” THEN HE STARTED TO COME AROUND THE COUNTER making a “squeezy-squeeze”’ gesture with his hands. I flipped out on him and ran him out of the store and called the police.
He came back a few weeks later and I told him he was banned for seeking services that were against the law, never saw him again. I’ll just never forget: “Give me your blue pills, you stupid girl! I pay for fun times with you, WHAT IS PROBLEM???”
31. Routine Mistake
I managed a Del Taco during my teenager years. We had this older man come in once a month and drive straight through the speaker to our window. At said window, he’d look at me until I came over, start ordering Starbucks, then midway through realize that he was at a Del Taco, turn bright red, mutter angrily, and drive off. This happened once a month, every month, for two years.
32. Shopping Cues
I used to work at Target, and they hired a new girl who had previously worked at Walmart to work the fitting rooms and, by default, the intercom system. A few days after she started, she was about to make an announcement over the intercom. Unfortunately for her, habit took over and she went, “Attention, Walmart shoppers,” before realizing what she’d said. She made a good recovery with, “…you are in the wrong store.”
33. Glad To Help
I worked at a local brewery a few years ago. One day, a man came in and put two big growlers down on the counter. I was scanning the bottles, and I made the usual small talk, “How’s your night going?” The man took a deep breath, looked me in the eyes, and dropped the mic. He said, in this numb voice, “Well, I just walked in on my 14-year-old son naked and video chatting a middle-aged man.”
He finished, “…so it could be a lot better.” I didn’t quite know what to say, so I told him, “Oh, that’s not good…enjoy your drinks.”
34. Explain It Again
I worked at McDonald’s. We would always get people that would ask for a Whopper either seriously or trying to be funny. We’d always give the exhausted response, “Sorry ma’am, we don’t sell Whoppers. We have the Big Mac.” Usually, we’d get an, “oh, right. Okay, one of those.” It was fine—until one day when a complete idiot ordered at the drive-thru.
He asked for a large Whopper meal and got the instant response, “Sorry sir, we don’t sell Whoppers here. We have Big Macs or Quarter Pounders or McChickens.” He replied, “No, I don’t want that. I want a Whopper.” I explained, “My apologies, sir, we don’t sell those. This is a McDonalds. The closest equivalent to a Whopper is the Big Mac.”
“If you want an actual Whopper burger, you need to go to Burger King.” He just angrily swore and gave me his order again. I said, “Okay, sir, I can’t give you a Whopper meal here, but I can get a Big Mac Meal for you. The Big Mac is the closest equivalent we have, but it is not a Whopper. Are you happy enough with that?”
He went, “Yes! was that so hard?!” We gave him a large Big Mac meal, and sure enough, ten minutes later, he was back through the drive-thru screaming into the speaker that he hadn’t gotten his Whopper burger.
35. Salad Hound
I have a buddy who has a great Olive Garden story. He was a bartender and he noticed this lady was super obnoxious, so he cut her off. She made a huge fuss about it, and my friend decided to get her a salad at no charge to get some food in her. Well, she asks for red wine vinaigrette dressing for her salad, then chugs the entire decanter. She was then thrown into a taxi and driven home.
36. There’s No Such Thing as Bad Pizza…Right?
Maybe ten years back, a new Mountain Mike’s Pizzeria opened in my town. Since it’s a really small town, my family got excited for a new restaurant, so we went in just a few days after they opened. The four of us sat down and were helped right away. Ordered a large pepperoni pizza and drinks, pretty simple. Our drinks come in a timely fashion. Our pizza did not.
We’re generally all pretty patient and understanding, so we waited for an hour before we snagged a server to ask about our pizza. There were very few people in the restaurant, and most of the servers were sort of milling around, sweeping and wiping clean tables and other busy work. The guy apologized for the wait and said he’d go check on it for us.
He came back out and said they were very sorry, but it would be another 30 minutes on the pizza. No explanation, but we figured maybe they’d forgotten to put it in. We gave them the benefit of the doubt since they’d just opened. We waited another 45 minutes and no pizza came. Called a server again. He told us he was very sorry and he would go check on that for us.
He came back out with a black disc that wasn’t even recognizable as a pizza. It was a giant charcoal brick. Parts of it were actually smoking. He put it on the table and told us to enjoy our pizza, and that they were sorry again about the wait, but that they forgot it in the oven. The very first time we ordered it. We were all stunned.
So my dad finally had enough and very politely told the guy thanks but no thanks, we wouldn’t be eating this pizza and we would probably not be returning unless we heard that their service had improved. We stood up to leave….and the nightmare really began. The guy bolted for the back room. Out came the manager. He asked us what the problem was.
My dad told him that we waited nearly two hours to be served a pizza that had been in the oven for just as long. He showed it to the manager. It was literally inedible. The manager shrugged and said, “I don’t see anything wrong here, sir, except that you’re trying to leave without paying for your meal.” The manager then ordered employees to stand at every exit to ensure that we couldn’t leave.
My dad still refused to pay and suggested that the manager let us leave or he would call the authorities. So the manager actually called them, saying there was an indignant customer in the restaurant. The officers showed up and asked what the problem is. After hearing both sides, the officers scoffed at the manager, walked us out of the restaurant, and we’ve never eaten there since.
37. So Bad It’s Against The Law
I had a cashier at Target ask if I wanted to sign up for their credit card, to which I declined. She then asked to see my ID, which made sense as I was buying beer, and she used it to sign me up for a Target credit card. I was furious, because I don’t see how that isn’t identity theft, and told her I wanted to talk to the manager (only time in my life I’ve uttered that phrase). She got really angry and defensive, started insulting me, and refused to call her manager.
I got another cashier to do it and then the woman flat out lied to her manager about what had happened. It was at that moment I discovered I had no telekinetic abilities because if I had, she surely would have exploded. The manager assured me the woman would be fired and gave me a lot of gift cards to make up for it since I now had to go through the whole process of canceling a credit card.
I went back about a month later to use some of the gift card value, and I saw that same woman still working there. I said something about it to the manager, left, and sold the cards on craigslist. I’ll never shop at Target again.
38. Poor Craftmanship
I worked at Dunkin Donuts. One day, a customer came through the drive-thru and complained to us that the drive-thru was built in a way that made it hard to drive through. She started yelling at my co-workers, so I just stopped what I was doing and told her, “Ma’am we cannot change the construction of the building. We’re just here to make sandwiches and serve donuts.”
39. Dental Therapy
I work at a dentist’s office and sometimes answer the phones. People love to just dump on me for some reason. I guess they need someone to talk to, so they call the dentist? I don’t know. One time, I had a lady take 15 minutes telling me she was going to quit her job because it was interfering with her ability to be a single parent.
Another lady called to tell me about her psychotic delusions that the people were after her and that she was hearing voices in her head. Then there were the two patients who were engaged. Their wedding date was posted in the patient’s chart. They’d always come in together. She’d rub his feet while he got his work done.
I called their number for the woman to confirm an appointment one time, and the man answered. He said they had a falling out, and his former fiancé was living at her mom’s now. A month or so later, he called to tell us they were back together, and the wedding was still on. Nothing about dental – apparently she just wanted us to know.
40. Sorry, Wrong Number
I worked at Chick-fil-a, and the number of people who would ask for McNuggets was astronomical. We also had a breakfast menu only available from 6-10 AM. After our lunch rush was over, I was managing the drive-thru. One man came to the drive-thru and asked to get a #2. It was slow, so he definitely got what he ordered.
Two minutes later, he came back through and told us he ordered a #2 but did not get the correct sandwich. I instructed him to pull around, and we would give him the right sandwich free of charge. I took the sandwich, checked that it was the right one before handing it out, and handed it out. End of story, right? Wrong.
Two minutes later, he came inside and was irate because he had come through the drive-thru twice now and both times received the wrong sandwich. I said that I’d personally checked it and that he received the correct sandwich and even pointed at the #2 on the menu board. Angrily, he looked at me and pointed at the menu.
As though I had done something wrong, he yelled, “No! I want that number 2,” pointing to the breakfast board. It was 2 in the afternoon.
41. We Don’t Provide That Service
This woman, probably in her 50’s, came to the front counter. I said my greeting script of, “Welcome to McDonald’s, how can I help you?” She straight-faced stared into my soul asked me a question I wish I could forget. Hand to God, she outright asked if I would sleep with her. I was astounded at the confidence and sheer bluntness about her request as well as at how inappropriate it was.
I stammered out something about me being 16 and that’s not allowed. She then got all sad and started on about a divorce, and she was having a rough time with it. I managed to chime in with, “How about a tasty burger for some comfort food?” And then she ordered one. I never saw her again after that incident, thankfully.
42. A Lot on Their Plate
At a Swiss Chalet, six of us at a table. Five plates come out. We wait a couple minutes for the sixth plate. We then inform our waitress that we didn’t receive our sixth plate. She responds with “Yes, you did.” After a bit of a back-and-forth, she accuses us of hiding the last plate somewhere.
43. Man on a Commission
My wife and I needed some furniture for our new house, so we went couch shopping a couple of months ago. Now that we are in our 30s, we are looking for pieces that are a little better quality and will last longer, so we went to a “nicer” store. Before our visit, she had gone in with her folks to scout the place out and had been helped by a very nice salesman.
This time when we walked in, that salesperson was not around and we were approached by someone very pushy and quite unfriendly. We politely told him we did not need any help as we were just looking. As we made our way around the store, it was clear that this new rep was keeping a close eye out. He came over to offer his assistance once again, at which point I told him that we would not be needing his help today and continued shopping.
After about 30 minutes, the wife and I had narrowed our search to a particular couch. As I was testing it out, my wife happened to see the salesman who had helped her and her folks. She walked across the store where he was just finishing with a customer and asked if he could help us. He recognized my wife and told her he would be over there in 1 minute to give us a hand.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, the second salesperson comes up to my wife and says, “What do you think you’re doing?” My wife was surprised, so she asked him what he meant. He said, “You are supposed to be my customers. I haven’t taken any other customers since you walked in, so how dare you talk to another rep.”
Well at this point, I got up from the couch and walked over, asking who the heck he thinks he’s talking to. He began arguing and telling me that I was supposed to be his commission and that I was cheating him out of money. At this point, I just about lost it and thankfully the nice salesperson came, took me by the arm, and defused the situation.
Needless to say, the manager and I had a nice long chat. The rest of the staff could not believe what he said to us and we could see them arguing with him at the other end of the store. I think he was just a bad salesperson who saw everyone else get sales, and that was the day he snapped.
44. Too Little, Too Late
My wife was very sick and in the hospital. One of those things where you spend days in the hospital just waiting for her to get better. I would stay with her after work until the hospital shooed me out a couple of hours after the end of visiting hours. Then I’d realize I’m tired and famished, and stop to grab a bite at the local burger place, then go home.
Tonight was going to be different though. It was 9:30, and I wanted dinner. Denny’s it was! I ordered the chicken fried steak with side veggies from the menu, got a soda, and started reading a book as I waited for my order. The book was really good. 40 minutes later, I realized I didn’t have my food. I called the waitress and asked how long it takes the chef to cook dinner, and she went to check.
She returned with my food, a very cold chicken sandwich with fries. What the heck? Okay, apparently it’s someone else’s dinner. So I complained. She went back to the kitchen. A few minutes later, I see her walking out the door and saying “Goodnight” to the other servers. Another waitress comes to my table and asks me if I’m ready to give my order now.
I’ve rarely been this mad in a restaurant. I was quietly furious, and asked what the heck happened to my chicken fried steak? The new waitress didn’t know, so we got the manager over. Apparently, there had been a shift change. New waitress, new cook. Me left between the cracks. So I told them, “Fine, I’ll take my chicken fried steak dinner, on the house.”
“I’m sorry sir,” said the manager. “It’s after 10pm, and we don’t serve some dinner items after 10.” “It was on the menu!” “Yes, it is on our regular dinner menu, after 10PM we use the ‘late night’ menu.” “I ordered my chicken fried steak BEFORE 10, so I expect that for dinner!” “I’m sorry sir, but our day chef is gone. Our night chef isn’t familiar with that item.”
That was it. I made a scene. I blew up and yelled at the manager. Then I left.
45. What a Racket
I had booked a hotel room. When I get there, it turns out it was filled up, but they were getting another room ready and it would be an hour. I go to the bar, where three other parties have the exact same story as me, with some waiting as long as 3 hours. So that seems a bit sketchy, but what can I do. I buy a drink and hand the girl a $20.
She never comes back, so I eventually go, “Umm…I didn’t get any change.” She said that there wasn’t any, and when I said I paid with a $20, she called security to tell me I had to leave. On my way out, one of the guys at the bar said I was the second guy that had happened to tonight. The next day I e-mailed the manager, who said he would look into it and wanted me to call him.
Sure enough, every time I called him he “wasn’t available” and I had “to leave a message.”
46. Getting Through To You
I was a shift manager at a McDonald’s in the middle of a mall. A guy came up to the counter with several McDonald’s bags of food then said, “My wife came through your drive-thru, and you messed up the order!” I asked, “are you sure she came through our drive-thru?” He went, “Yes! She told me she went to the drive-thru. When she got home, she realized the order was wrong. Y’all need to give us our money back and give us the proper food,” he requested defiantly.
Confused, I looked around the mall and asked, “Did she drive through Sears or JC Penny to get here?” He finally realized he was in a mall, then grabbed his bags, and left.
47. Category Is: Entitled Karen
So, I manage a plus size women’s clothing store. We actually get a surprising amount of non-traditional customers. Guys who need a dress for a charity show, cross dressers, gender-fluid people, transgender women, and drag queens aren’t unheard of. So, a drag queen comes into the store to pick up some shoes they ordered online.
They must have been either coming from or going to a show because they were still in full makeup. I get their name, and during our conversation another customer walks in. I call out a greeting and say something like, “I’ll be right with you.” I go to the back room, and it takes a minute to go through all the web orders.
I find the one I need and am on my way back to the counter when the new customer throws her arm out to stop me from passing. She then says, “I am a new customer and I’ve been here for 20 minutes and no one has spoken to me.” First, I greeted her when she came in, and second, she had only been in the store for 5 minutes at that point.
I resigned myself to groveling, but before I could say anything, the drag queen stomps over, glares at the customer, and says, “Honey, she said hello to you.” Complete with sassy finger snaps. The Queen then made a big show of thanking me for getting her package, and gave me a big sparkly kiss on the cheek before she left.
The other customer sheepishly paid for her Spanx and didn’t make eye contact when I told her to have a good day.
48. Half Pint, All Idiot
I was with a male friend (I’m a lady) at a cafe in Berlin, and the waiter takes our order of two pints with a bit of attitude, but nothing too unmanageable, this is Europe after all. He comes back out a bit later with two drinks, one in a normal glass and the other in a teeny tiny glass, which he puts in front of me.
We ask him about this, as we had just said two drinks and not specified sizes. He says, “Well, the small one is for you because you are a woman, and that is polite.” I give him my very best “what the heck” face, and say, “But I didn’t want a small drink.” He looks at me and just walks off, leaving me with my tiny tiny glass.
My friend is all “screw this,” and takes my small drink inside to the girl behind the counter, tells her that the waiter gave us attitude and then a lesson in sexism, and she tells my friend, “Yeah, that waiter’s a total idiot.” On the up side, it was super fun eyeballing him while we drank our drinks, and we only got charged the price of a small.
49. It Takes All Kinds
As a teenager, I was working part-time at a convenience store. I was being trained by the late night cashier when this dude comes in and grabs a bunch of cans of vegetables and such, and comes to the counter and stacks the cans in a very specific way. It was like a weird kind of pyramid on the counter. I wondered about it, but didn’t say anything.
As the experienced cashier (my trainer) takes each can off the pyramid and rings it up, she reaches the end of the stack…and we realize that the weirdo has his junk out and has it laying on the counter behind the cans. Without saying a word, the trainer grabs one of the big heavy metal cans of beans and slams it down as hard as she can on the guy’s junk.
He screamed an incredible scream of searing pain, grabbed it, and ran out of the store. Her to me: (calmly) “You get all kinds on the late shift.”
50. Up to the State
A customer tried to argue with me over the price of California Refund Value (how much extra bottled and canned drinks cost, money that is refunded when they’re recycled). I told her that the state controls how much CRV costs, not the store. She then goes on about how the grocery store across the street charges less for CRV and so I asked her, “Did you buy a 24 pack of water?” She replies, “No.”
I explained to her that the state charges 5 cents per bottle. 24 bottles makes $1.20. And since she’s buying (2) 24 packs, that totals to $2.40 for CRV. She waves me off annoyingly and hands me the money to pay. When I gave her, her change, she picks out a penny and says, “No I don’t want this one. Give me a cleaner one.” So, I took the penny from her, reached down to my till, and then handed her the same penny back. She didn’t notice.
51. Take a Gamble
When I worked at McDonald’s during my senior year of high school, a man in a wheelchair demanded that I sell him a lottery ticket. He was obviously not all there and so I decided to just roll with it. Suddenly like a switch, he flipped out on me. He yelled at me saying he works closely with law enforcement and that if I was a lady of the evening, he would report me and have me taken away.
This lasted for a good 10 minutes when finally, one of my shift managers decided to step in and help me. The man ends up buying one hamburger, but he sat in the lobby for the rest of my shift, so two more hours. So many customers complained about his smell and when my managers tried to kick him out, he started swatting the air, yelling profanities. We called 9-1-1 and an hour later they showed up to wheel the man out. I never saw the man after that, hope he’s doing okay.
52. Entertainment of What Kind?
I worked for an online banking help desk and this 18-year-old lad phoned up saying he had seen a transaction for £7 to allpay.net and because he didn’t recognize it, he decided the bank were robbing him of £7 and that I was in on it and I was a “thieving little jerk.” Then he gets his dad on the phone who stuck up for his piece of work son, saying I was a pathetic jerk for taking £7 off an 18-year-old boy, even though it was a debit card transaction and I simply worked in the department which helped people use online banking.
But anyway, I phoned our debit card services to see if they could give any more information, and boy could they. I then had the pleasure of relaying back to this little jerk’s equally jerky father the following: “Hi sir, thanks for holding. I’ve checked with our debit card services team and I now understand why your son would not have recognized the payee ‘allpay.net’. That’s a deliberately vague term used for discretion when the customer has subscribed to online adult entertainment. That’s what it was for. Your son has been paying for online adult entertainment. Would you like to pop him back on the phone so I can tell him it’s a payment for his adult entertainment, or will you pass on the information?”
The father just muttered that the issue did not require any further investigation, thanked me for looking into it, and hung up.
53. My Sub
I’ve worked at several restaurants. However, about a year ago, this is how a conversation went with this lady. I asked her what I could get her, she just said a sub. We have 12 different kinds. When I asked for more details, she pointed at my boss and said: “He knows which one.” He didn’t recognize her, but just went along with it and prepared to make her an Italian sub.
He asked what size bread. This caused more problems. She asked, “What is a sized bread?” Yikes. She just kept saying “I don’t know…I just want a sub!! Is that hard?” At this point I was getting pretty angry, and so was my boss. I don’t know if she was being weird? Under stress? Under the influence of something else? I don’t know…she was getting pretty upset clearly.
That’s when my boss made a fatal mistake. He asked her whether she wanted white or whole wheat bread. She lost it. She seriously said, “what kind of question is that? It’s a freaking SUB, ok?” At this point, if I were the boss, I would have told her to please leave, don’t talk like that to me, but my boss kept on asking her to the point she said, “Just make MY sub! The biggest one!!”
He makes her sub on white bread, default way we make it, and she says it’s for here. She gets the super sub, which is our biggest sub, and she goes, “This was on wheat bread! Why is it on white?” Then she throws the tray with the sub on it back on the counter by the cashier and goes, “I’m not eating this freaking thing! This isn’t MY SUB like you made it before!”
My boss says – “ma’am, how am I supposed to know what you had for lunch at my restaurant a month ago? I have hundreds of orders a day, and you expect me to remember yours?” She told us and raged, “I hope somebody comes in and hurts all of you, you freaking jerks,” and stormed out. We never saw her again. ever. THAT was the most messed up thing that ever happened to me working with the public
54. Wrong Lane
A guy came to our drive thru. I opened the window and asked, “Sir, how can I help you?” Calmly, he replied, “I’m outta checks.” I said, “…Not sure I follow you.” “I’m out of checks,” he said again but sounded more impatient this time. “Yes, I heard you, but I don’t know what you want me to do. You can use cash or card?” The dude gave me a weird look then said, “Oh, this ain’t the bank,” and peeled out from the window. I work at Burger King.
55. Butternut Squashed
I worked at a small roadside produce shop. My boss had a few different stalls, so I was often left to run the stall by myself. I remember this lady walked up and asked me, “Do you have any tomatoes?” I shook my head and said, “Sorry, we don’t.” She got weirdly upset and whined, “But the place down the street has them!” So, I said to her, “Then go there.”
56. Need To Cool Down
I worked at a Dairy Queen. One day, a frustrated lady came in holding her bag. She whipped out a receipt and, without giving me any context, said, “There’s supposed to be a Baja Blast.” I told her, “Ma’am, this receipt is for Taco Bell.” She quickly said, “My bad,” and sped out.
57. Can I Change…Your Mind?
I was at a department store buying some jeans. I asked the store attendant if I could try on a pair. He said sure and led me to the men’s changing rooms. I went into the cubicle and dropped my pants. The store attendant knocked on the door. I unlocked it and opened it a crack. This is where things got really weird. He asked if he could come in.
I said “No, why would you want to?” He replied “Because I think you’re cute.” He then proceeded to forcefully open the door and about 30 seconds of me and him pulling and pushing on the door ensued. I was starting to get a bit frantic, so I yelled out for assistance. He immediately stopped pushing on the door and disappeared.
I put my pants on and got out of there. I was shaking. I got home and called the department store and told them what had happened. I found out later that they fired him on the spot.
58. Ma’am This Is an Arby’s
I had a lady hit me in the head with a plastic spoon because I told her I couldn’t order the McDonald’s “square spoons” for her shake because we were, in fact, an Arby’s.
59. Linens and Things
I work at a paint store. There was a woman who came in several times and was a massive pain in every time. The first time, she kept asking for a color called linen. It went something like: “My son had his house painted in linen and it looks so beautiful, he’s got it under the chair rail through the whole house, and a darker color on top and…”
I ask, “Okay ma’am, do you want a sample of that color?” She says yes. I try to pull up the color, then I say: “Okay, so Sherwin-Williams doesn’t have a color called linen, but I have the formula from a Ben Moore linen, porter paint, and another competitor. Do you know which one it was?” “It’s linen.” I say, “I understand, ma’am, but these are all different colors, and to make sure you get the right one, I need to know which company he got the paint from.”
She just kept repeating “I want linen.” Seeing that this conversation is going absolutely nowhere, I pick one at random and send her away. A week or two later, I was working late on a Friday, which meant I was the only one working. I have a line out the door, and I pick up the phone while trying to juggle mixing orders and taking care of other customers. Surprise, it’s linen lady.
She wants an estimate for how much paint she needs. Easy enough, I try to get her to give me some rough measurements of the area to be painted. She starts in on this long rambling diatribe about her two-tone color scheme and the chair rail through the house, while I try to interject every few minutes with a, “Yes, but the measurements.” After 15 minutes, I simply cannot stay on the phone any longer because I can’t do my job with her yapping in my ear.
I tell her to consult her painter and hang up. The first and only time I’ve ever had to hang up on a customer. A couple of weeks later and she’s back in the store. She’s unhappy with one of the colors she selected to contrast the linen. But she can’t remember which color it is. I look through her order history and find nothing. She then tells me she got it at another store. Okay fine, I go into the online system to pull her orders from the other store.
Meanwhile, she calls the other store to pester them about it. 30 seconds into the call, I find the information, but she cannot be stopped. The other store finds the color eventually, and she picks a color chip off the wall and brings it to me. Says this is the color, and she doesn’t like it. I ask if she wants me to adjust the color, or something else, but no, she just wanted to show me the color she didn’t like and went to pick out a completely different color.
I still cannot figure out what the heck is going through her head. Probably nothing at all.
60. Seeing Is Believing
This happened at Wendy’s. I once had a woman come through the drive-thru and try to order macaroni and cheese. I politely informed her that we didn’t have that. She insisted we did. I told her we definitely did not. She got angry and yelled that yes, we did. I said to her, “Ma’am, I have been working here for three years. We have never had macaroni and cheese. It’s not something we serve. Would you like to order something else?”
She swore and said, “Yes, you do! I can see it on the menu board! It’s right there right in front of me on the menu!” I told her I wasn’t sure what she was looking at but we definitely didn’t have mac and cheese. I told her that if it really did say mac and cheese on our menu board then that meant someone vandalized it. She disagreed and said that it was definitely part of the menu board, and it’s real and, we did have it, and she wasn’t leaving until she got her mac and cheese. It was almost ten minutes of this back and forth.
All the while, she was holding up the drive-thru line. I finally got the manager to come and deal with it. Even with my manager there, this lady absolutely refused to accept that we did not have mac and cheese. She also refused to order anything else and she wouldn’t move her car until we gave her the mac and cheese that we didn’t have. It was such a mess, but it wasn’t over yet. Not by a long shot.
We had a line of cars wrapped around the building now, and everyone was annoyed. It’d been half an hour, and the line had not moved. The manager told her that if she didn’t leave, he’d have to call someone. Then she screamed at him, still going on about how she could clearly see mac and cheese on our menu board right in front of her. I decided enough was enough. I exited the building to go see the board.
I walked along the outside to the drive-thru order screen where this woman’s car was. I asked her to please show me on the menu where it said the words “macaroni and cheese” anywhere. She pointed and confidently said, “right there,” with all the conviction of someone who’s absolutely sure of themselves and being right. I looked to where she was pointing. I saw it. I sighed heavily as a bit more of me lost some hope for humanity.
I composed myself and told her as politely as possible that, “ma’am, that is a picture of the orange slices that come with the kid’s meal. We do not serve mac and cheese. Please drive away.” She was confused. Then she looked at the menu board again. The realization finally dawned on her, and she drove off without another word. I went back inside and screamed in the walk-in freezer for ten minutes.
61. Establishing Location
I was the dummy customer. My wife and I were walking back to our hotel after a meal where I had around four extremely well-made margaritas. I wanted a Mocha Milkshake for dessert. I walked up to the counter, and the employee asked me, “What can I get you?” I said, “I will have a Mocha Milkshake.” “We don’t serve that.”
In utter disbelief and disappointment, I went, “What kind of Arby’s is this?!” The employee answered, “Sir, this is Hardee’s.” I completely blanked out. Then my wife said, “Can you mix some chocolate and vanilla shake together? He’s too wasted to notice the difference.”
62. Bit Of A DIY
Back when I was in fast food, I had someone who wanted me to remove all the sesame seeds from the top of a bun. The answer was no.
63. Preaching To The Deep Fryer
You wouldn’t believe the amount of disappointed rich people who come to Panda Express and find out we aren’t serving authentic Chinese food. Once, a well-traveled rich woman came into the restaurant and stood in the buffet line for about ten minutes critiquing all our “mistakes.” Ma’am, this is not a Michelin star establishment. The food is from a warehouse in California.
64. New Secret Menu!
I worked at a Chipotle for four years and got some strange requests. But the best was when someone ordered soup. Here’s the thing: Chipotle doesn’t have soup. I promptly reminded her this was a Chipotle, but she insisted we could do it. So, we made her soup! It was the grossest concoction of beans, salsa, and sour cream. She was stoked.
65. Service With a Snarl
There’s a Subway that recently opened right across the street from my house. I started eating $5 foot-longs every day. It was glorious. Not only was it extremely convenient, but the service was better than any Subway I had ever been to, by far. Fast, the sandwiches were made great, and the girls were talkative and flirty.
There was one downside. The guy who worked most nights was a short, surly dude who was always being a jerk or trying to intimidate you, which was pretty easy due to his bulk and full sleeve tattoos. Every time I’d go in there, I’d say, “Hey, how’s it going?” and he would answer with a grunt or just ask “What sandwich do you want?”
I’d get through my order as he threw meat and veggies around all willy nilly, creating the most disheveled, sad-looking sandwiches I’ve ever seen. After going there a few times with this experience, me and a friend of mine go in one night. I go through the same routine. Then my friend asks a question about the gluten-free sandwiches. Big mistake.
Dude drops his mop to the ground (he had started mopping) and says “Are you serious? CAN’T YOU SEE THE PICTURE?!” and gestures toward a picture of a gluten-free sandwich. My friend is shocked and says something like, “You know what, screw you man, you’re a jerk” and storms out. I say, “Wow great customer service man.”
He answers, “What?! You asked a question and I answered it!” He was doing the “come at me bro” stance and had a fury in his eyes, as if I had just insulted his entire immediate and extended family.
66. We’ve Got Beef
I had a weird one a few years ago. Me, my wife, and a couple of her brothers went out for coffee one evening. I had just gotten off work and hadn’t eaten, so I took a look at the menu and ordered beef frajolaki while my wife ordered a turtle cheesecake with her coffee. About 5-10 minutes after the waitress had taken our orders, another group of people sat down in the booth behind us.
The same waitress came up, chatted with them and grabbed their orders. After about 20 minutes, out comes the cheesecake that my wife ordered. No, wait, it’s a cappuccino cheesecake. My wife called the waitress back and told her about it, and the waitress apologized and offered to bring her the proper one out, but my wife liked it well enough. If only there weren’t more.
Another 15-20 minutes go by, and I’m still waiting for my meal, getting a little cheesed off by this point, when I spot the waitress coming our way, plates in hand. Wait, plates? I was the only one who ordered! She walks by us and to the booth behind us and distributes the food. Now I’m getting really ticked.
I hear the table behind me discussing their meals, and one of them asks another what he’s eating, to which he replies, “I don’t know, but it’s really good!” Well, I thought, how the heck do you not know what you ordered? Another 10 minutes go by, and I’m about ready to leave, when out comes the waitress, plate in hand.
She sets it in front of me and asks if there’s anything else I need. I look at the plate and back to her and say, “Uh, this isn’t what I ordered. I ordered a beef frajolaki. This is a beef dip.” She looks at the plate, then quickly looks at the booth behind us. Yup, mystery guy who couldn’t remember what he ordered? He was chowing down on my food. But that wasn’t even the end of the story.
Mistakes happen, and I’m pretty mellow, but then she said, “Well, can’t you just eat this instead?” super indignantly. At that point, I asked for the check and got up and went outside to wait for my wife before I totally lost it. To top it off, she even tried to charge me for the beef dip. Can’t say I ever went back there again.
67. The State of the Union
I’m from New Hampshire. When I was going to college in Florida, I had a gas station cashier refuse to sell me cigarettes because I showed her my ID and she didn’t believe that New Hampshire was a state.
68. You Made Your Bed, Now You Can’t Lay in It
Last weekend, I went to the beach with my friend. We had booked a hotel room with TWO queen beds. For whatever reason, there was an administrative error and the hotel had forgotten to reserve our room. We get there, and there are no rooms with 2 beds left. The front desk agent was very apologetic and offered us an extra room at no charge…until it all went wrong.
Suddenly, the owner of the place moseyed on in and instead said “NO, if you want 2 rooms, you’re going to pay for 2 rooms” and asked us why we couldn’t just sleep together in a king bed, which is not really his business and if we WANTED TO SHARE A BED we would’ve booked a room with one bed instead of specifically booking a room with two.
If we had known they were out of rooms, we would’ve gone somewhere else. At that point, he insisted on us staying in one room with a cot, which I said was ridiculous because one of us is sleeping on a cot, and it’s not something we agreed to pay for. Eventually, after 2 hours of arguing, he left and the original clerk let us have 2 rooms.
69. What Do You Speak?
I was working at a theater one morning and an old man scoots by in a wheelchair. He lingers by the service desk so I ask him politely if I can help him. He responds in Spanish, asking if I speak it. I understand it but can’t speak it, so I shake my head. “Parli Italiano?” I ask. He says no. Asks in French, if I speak French. I say no. We bounce between languages for a minute until finally, he asks if I speak English.
I sigh, because it was the language, I greeted him in, and say yes. He asks if we have a lost and found and I ask him what he’s missing. He holds up a hand missing a finger and asks if we’ve found one. I, unfazed, respond “No sir, not today”. He wheels off.
70. Got Any Paper?
I used to work in a call center for a mobile phone network. Many years ago, a customer called as he had entered his PIN too many times and blocked his phone. After doing data protection checks I told him that I had a 10-digit code that would restore his phone and asked if he had a pen and paper. He confirmed he had them, and I proceeded to read out the number, at which points he says “not on me.”
Why did he think I was asking if he had a pen and paper if not to write something down! I wasn’t asking if he owned stationery.
71. Public Bath
When I worked at Starbucks, I was cleaning the restrooms and I went to open the door to one of them. I didn’t usually knock at that point because there are locks on the door and what weirdo doesn’t lock the door when they go to the bathroom in public. I swung it open and was astounded. The door opened into what looked like a situation where someone puts way too much soap in the washing machine, there’s was soap and bubbles floating around everywhere and a naked woman who just stared at me.
She was probably homeless and washing herself, but the amount of soap and bubbles in there turned the situation from looking like real life into a messed-up dream.
72. I Got Your Number
When I was a delivery driver in college, I was taking an order over the phone. The woman said she wanted to pay with a card. When I asked her for her card number she FLIPPED OUT. Started to literally scream at me at the top of her lungs over the phone, accuse me of being a thief, saying she “knew who I was” and I how I was a “bad guy.” For clarity, I have no idea who this idiot was.
Eventually, she just hung up and we canceled the order. All of this because I asked for her card number when she was trying to pay over the phone with her card. I have no idea how this woman thinks credit cards work or how she was able to function in the world at all.
73. Rorschach Test
I’ve seen many crazy people in the short amount of time my work required human interaction, I really don’t know how people do it. One time this woman came into the place where I was working. Behind me on the wall were some abstract black and white photos that were not showing anything special. One was maybe just showing a really blurred female face although it’s more my interpretation of the shape rather than the source image, the others were just “artsy” stains.
She was normal at first, then she noticed the photos and started to get really upset. She asked me what the heck that was and why would we put something like that up. Then she went on to say the images were depicting these terrible things, apparently, the face one she saw as some beaten up victim and the stains looked like terrible events to her. She went on and on about it, they really traumatized her.
74. Spare a Chip
I have a million, but the one that stuck out to me as the most was this weird guy who never spoke all and would always come in late at night. One night about an hour after we closed, I was getting ready to leave when I start walking towards the alarm and there’s the dude standing in the middle of the aisle staring me dead in the eyes. I froze for a good 10 seconds then asked him if he was OK and that we were closed.
In response, he frowned, pulled up his shirt, and rubbed his belly. I repeated that we had closed, walked over to him, and started to walk him towards the entrance. When he realized what I was doing he turned and ran deeper into the store. I was debating calling 9-1-1, but I had been there for 11 hours already and didn’t want to spend another hour dealing with them, so I decided to follow him and try again.
I caught up for him in the bulk candy/nuts section. He was standing staring at banana chips. I told him we were closed, and he started to wail on making some high-pitched whining sound. I broke and gave him some banana chips. He smiled and was passive enough for me to walk him to the door. When we got through the first set of doors I spun around and locked them, when I turned around, he was inches away from me and gave me a big hug.
Shocked and weirded out, I sorta just stood there, then he pulled his face right into my face, whispered, “You big good,” and gave me a peck on the cheek. I took a step back into the door, he ran his wet fingers through my beard and skipped out into the darkness.
75. Holey Bread
I’d been working at a popular deli chain restaurant for a few years and was working in the back one day when a new trainee came rushing over, absolutely bawling, so I immediately knew something was seriously wrong. I had her stay in the back to calm down and alerted the head manager so we could deal with the situation.
I went to the register and found a petite Korean lady shouting very loudly and demanding the trainee come back and saying she was trying to cheat her out of her money. She also kept shouting what I can only assume were crude Korean insults. The manager looked at her with a “lol nope” expression and took over the line.
I got the pleasure of dealing with Korean Karen. Somehow, I managed to keep a cool head and told her calmly to explain her problem. She was screaming, yelling, and rambling about how upset she was and said the cashier didn’t give her any change and that the bagels she wanted were too expensive. I redid her transaction.
The entire time I was packing up her bagels, she’s still angrily waving her arms around in a fit—until she bumped a customer next to her. He very politely, but also very sternly said, “Excuse me!” She decided to take this opportunity to spit on him. While this was going on, the assistant manager had already made a call to the authorities.
An officer came in while I was finishing slicing this monster-lady’s bagels and tried to ask her questions very calmly like what was the problem, what’s her name, things like that. When he asked to see ID, she went ballistic. I couldn’t believe my eyes. She shoved him and then spat at him! The whole time he had kept his hands to himself. This, clearly, was the breaking point. The officer grabbed her wrists and started to cuff her.
He was ordering her to put her hands behind her back, and out of nowhere, she let out this howling scream and started trying to fight with the guy. His partner came in and saw the commotion. He immediately jumped in. She went so nuts that he had to tackle her onto the ground. They took her out to their car in cuffs and came back inside to pick up her personal items that were dropped in the fray and asked me if anything else was hers, and I gladly handed them her change and bagels.
76. Have It Your Way
Back in high school, I worked at a Wendy’s. Despite this, I had one guy try to order McNuggets over the speaker. When I asked what size of chicken nugget he wanted, he got all defensive when I didn’t call them McNuggets. Then he said, “Fine, fine, fine, I’ll get a Whopper.” So, I went, “…uh, a Dave’s Double? Or Baconator?” Dude just started screaming at me as he zoomed off into the smogset.
77. Fizzed Out
In high school, I worked at the concession stand at a movie theater. This guy ordered a popcorn and large diet Pepsi. He came back to the counter 10 minutes later complaining that his soda was carbonated. I explained to him that all of our sodas were carbonated, and he asked me if we had a microwave, which we did have.
So, he wanted me to go into the back and microwave his soda. He wanted it warm but not too warm. I went to the back and had to pour the soda into two different cups because the original wouldn’t fit into the microwave. It was truly a bizarre experience.
78. Whatever The Cost
I was the manager on an overnight shift at a burger place. People who’d been drinking were always trying to order pizza and other dumb stuff. One time, a dude insisted he wanted a pizza, so I said alright, but it would be $100 dollars and take like an hour. He was like cool, came around, and gave me $100 at the window.
There was four of us there, so I told the dude to park and sent a worker to the grocery store across the parking lot to buy a frozen one. They brought it back, and we cooked it in our oven and brought it out to the dude, who by this point had fallen fast asleep in his car. The four of us just split the other 95 bucks that he had given us.
79. Something to Say
I was a cashier at Walmart. I was finishing the checkout of one woman’s order when another older woman came up behind her on a motorized cart. The first woman said some kind of pleasant greeting like, “Oh hi, how are you?” to the second woman, which somehow developed within the space of two to three minutes into a full-blown monologue.
She went on about how she was really mistreated by her mother as a child, but her mother was now gone, and she still missed her even though she also severely neglected her, which brought on the plethora of health problems she’d suffered starting in her teens with abnormal puberty and after that, life only got worse from there because of various awful men.
The first woman looked at me like, “Uh oh.” She quickly finished paying, picked up her order, invented an excuse, and got the heck out of there, abandoning me to listen to the rest of the second woman’s woes. Turns out she also had children who were all ungrateful and just never wanted to have anything to do with her even during the throes of her worst illnesses and health issues.
Some of them completely cut her off, and it’s all her former husbands’ fault because she was too nice of a person, too loving, too giving, and she loved her children too much and gave them too much. She sat on her motorized cart just continuing her speech about her life of torment looong after I was done preparing her order. At this point, I was standing there waiting for her to pay, but she just wouldn’t shut up.
She couldn’t take a clue. The line was backing up behind her. She still wouldn’t shut up. She was talking about how her husbands made her work when she shouldn’t have had and her kids hurt her. Her son threw her out of his house for just no good reason. She was just trying to help. I wasn’t even saying anything to her. Like, what exactly was I supposed to say? “I’d diagnose you with a latent case of narcissistic personality disorder, intelligence-lacking type, perhaps histrionic personality disorder except I can’t because I’m a Walmart cashier and not a psychiatrist.”
But I was a pretty scared kid at that time and felt really awkward and on-the-spot to say anything. I couldn’t even manage a peep of, “Ma’am, could you please pay?” It only ended when the guy behind her loudly said something like, “What’s the hold-up? This isn’t the place, lady,” that she finally switched to grumbling. She quietly mumbled about how rude he was while she begrudgingly got her wallet out and then somehow left, and it was over. All because the first woman tried to be nice.
80. Undercover Boss
I started out in the real estate industry, doing deals here and there until I had enough savings to buy my first restaurant. The restaurant was well-established in the Seattle area and I do still own it along with a couple of others now. I try to treat my employees with as much respect as I can and I do try to keep the pay high enough so that employees can actually afford to eat in my restaurants, as they are somewhat expensive and higher-end.
Now, keep in mind that I am a relatively absentee owner now because the restaurants are owned by a corporation that I head, so I have no idea who a lot of the employees are. I know most of the managers, but the turnover rate for the servers is relatively high as most are college students. Needless to say, I don’t get to know them very well.
One day, I decided to do some undercover management where I go through and judge the service and the quality of how the servers help the customers and the clientele. I took my wife in to one of the restaurants so we could grab some dinner and observe the employees and management. Well, the service was awful and I was sorely disappointed.
Toward the end of the dinner, I got the bill and paid it, but didn’t tip very much, thinking that would get the message across. Instead of the server getting the message, he followed me out to the parking lot. He confronted me, telling me I was a jerk, calling me other names, and saying that the awful owner of the restaurant doesn’t pay him much.
Laughing internally, I apologized and asked “How much does he pay you? It must be pretty bad.” Wages for a server at this restaurant are roughly 15 dollars an hour plus tips. Again, I try to pay enough so that the servers can actually afford to eat in my restaurants. He told me he was only getting paid minimum wage. His entire story was untrue but I entertained it.
The next day, I called the manager to set up a meeting with the server in question. The manager knew who I was, but wasn’t working the night prior when I had dinner there. I showed up to the meeting and walked into the room where he and the manager were assembled. Keep in mind, I told the manager to not tell the server who I was.
I walked into the room and saw the server’s face fill with contempt and anger. The server immediately said, “This guy again?” Then he looked at me and said, “What do you want, to rip me off again? I already know you can’t tip.” I laughed, and the manager asked the server if he knew who I was. The server said, “Yeah, one of my customers from last night who treated me badly.”
Now, I was a little hard on him the night prior because I wanted to see how he would handle different situations. I laughed at his last response and told him he was fired. He asked me, “Who the heck do you think you are, you can’t fire me.” I calmly explained that I was actually the owner and what he did was in terrible form and he is not fit to be a server in the restaurant.
I saw the blood drain out of his face after it sank in that I was the owner, and he started tearing up and apologizing, explaining that he was under a lot of stress with his wife and daughter and he was suffering from PTSD from his time in Iraq. Come to find out, these were all total lies too. This jerk didn’t even have a daughter.
81. Just the Ticket
This guy comes into our store and is being a complete jerk. Not wanting to show ID to buy tall cans even though he looked 20 at the oldest, constantly yelling and swearing. He also had parked in the handicap spot despite not having handicap tags or plates on his car. One of my regular customers, who is a sheriff’s deputy, was also in the store. He came up with an ingenious plan.
He saw how the guy was acting. Saw where he was parked. Went out, got his ticket book, and wrote the guy a ticket. Guy realized he wasn’t getting his cans, went outside…to find he was getting ticketed. I could not stop laughing.
82. Turning the Other Cheek
Not me but a friend of mine. Went out to dinner with a group of friends, and their waitress was rude, snappy, and all around unpleasant. At the end of the meal, a few people in the group wanted to leave no tip, but my friend said, “No, let’s not do that. There is nothing wrong with us; we’re wonderful people. She’s the one who’s got a problem and we’re not going to act that way.”
Instead, they left her a generous tip along with a note: “Sorry you’re having a bad day. Hope things get better.” They then sneaked away to watch her reaction from a distance. She read the note, sat down in the booth, and cried. I guess you never do know.
83. Do You Know Who I Am?
Worked at Best Buy 10 or so years ago, and this happened on Black Friday. Most of the customers were in bad moods since they’d been waiting hours to come in and stand in more lines. But this one lady was a raging witch. After yelling at everyone in my department about how she NEEDED the laptop that was on sale despite it being sold out, she took it up a notch.
She proceeds to tell us she’ll have the store closed down because she “Works with the city and knows the fire marshal and we have too many people in the store.” So she calls him, we tell her to leave, and nothing happens to the store. However, we called them as well to report what she’d said, and she got fired from her job for mistreatment of power.
84. Do You Know Where You Are?
I was a hostess at Carrabba’s. I answered the phone, and a woman asked if were we located at such-and-such intersection. I told her no and gave her the correct directions. She insisted I was wrong and that we’re located at such-and-such. I told her that I think she had us confused with another Italian restaurant chain.
She still disagreed and tried to argue. I finally just basically said that I am standing in the building where I work in five days a week and that I was pretty sure I know the location of my physical body and hung up.
85. Clean Up Crew
I worked for Taco Bell, and a woman ordered three of those taco twelve boxes, and, of course, she wanted sauce. So, I gave her one of those small bags that had four generous fistfuls of each of the sauces. The bag was packed because I did not want any sass from this woman. She came back ten minutes later with her food.
She dumped the bag out in front of me and pointed to one of the sauce packets that was a little crusty since sometimes they pop. She gave me a lecture about how unsanitary we were. Then she asked me why we didn’t take the time to wipe off each individual packet before distributing them. I gestured to the sauce packets.
“Well, we sell a lot of food. If this is how many sauces we gave just to you, imagine how much we go through a day. There just wouldn’t be time,” I explained. She still huffed at me and asked me to clean the dirty packet. Since I was her sauce slave and I needed to keep my job, I did.
86. Not So Fast
I worked at a small-town Dunkin Donuts just off the highway. We get a lot of out-of-staters coming through. They’d ask for Starbucks items and sometimes the Aroma Joe’s rush drinks too. Once, I had a mom that came asking for some sandwich that turned out to be from the Sonic drive-ins. Those don’t really exist where I’m from. The three of us working were super confused by what she meant because we’d never heard of it before.
She asked to speak to our manager. We told her the truth; the manager had gone home for the night, but the assistant manager was in at six the next morning. She demanded to speak to a manager right then and there and told us we needed to call her and put her on over the drive-thru speaker. Both went right to voicemail.
We said we couldn’t reach them, and she screamed, “This is the worst Sonic I’ve ever been to!” At this point, our jaws just drop. Like what just happened. My co-worker literally asked what a Sonic was. Not to annoy her or be funny or anything but because she literally did not know what a Sonic was. The woman freaked out even more.
She yelled, “I will go to corporate, and I will have this location shut down! I knew a Sonic up here wouldn’t be any good!” We said, “Ma’am, this is a Dunkin Donuts. What is a Sonic?” There was a pause, and then she said, “I’m so embarrassed.” Then it sounded like she was starting to whimper a bit before she drove off.
87. Special Menu Item
My co-workers and I went to a BBQ place for lunch. It was located in a converted garage and looked very shady. Inside was filthy, with piles of dirty pots on display out front and a 500-pound lady taking orders with a dude who looked like the Grim Reaper preparing the food. This was in an open area, so we could see everything.
As we are watching Reaper get our order together, he stops, bends over, and vomits into a bucket. I guess he dropped his comb or something because he then reaches in and takes something out. We were in shock and just paid and got out of there. In the car driving back, it was silent until somebody asked, “Did that just really happen?!” and we all started laughing incredulously.
88. A Double-Edged Knife
I went to a steak house in San Francisco. Ordered steak. Got a butter knife. Called the waitress over and asked for a steak knife. She returns with a new butter knife, only with a wooden handle. I say, “Sorry, what I’m looking for is a steak knife, something that cuts meat.” She insists, “That will cut meat!” It only got weirder from there.
I run the knife over my hand a few times while saying, “No, no, you don’t understand, I’m eating meat and this doesn’t cut meat.” She says, “That’s a steak knife, though!” I say, “I’m not sure what to tell you. I want a knife that can penetrate and slice meat.” Well, that must have really set her off, because then it took another turn.
She says, “Are you threatening me?” Strangest of all, I had already handed her the “steak knife,” so at that point I was sitting there with my girlfriend empty-handed. I say, “What?” She says, “You’re very aggressive and asking me for a knife to stab and cut with!” I give her the “what the heck” look. My girlfriend laughs.
I say, “Uh, no, you’re not a steak so you have nothing to worry about. Look, just give me what you have and I’ll deal with it.” She says, “I don’t think it’s safe to give you any knife. I’m sorry,” and walks off, leaving me knifeless. At a steak house.
89. The Customer Is Always Wrong
Kind of a different story…I was at Carrabba’s with my family and another family came and sat down at table near us. They were the stereotypical rich, white, snobby, nose-in-the-air family. They were so rude to the waiter. The waiter, meanwhile, got everything they asked for in a good amount of time and was really nice.
All the while, they were talking behind his back to other waiters about him and flagged the manager down twice to complain. The second time the manager came, I spoke over the people and told him that the waiter did nothing wrong and they were being jerks and needed to leave. It was so funny—it went eerily silent and his wife said, “I never” and they got up and left.
90. What’s a Little Vintage Between Friends?
I had a waiter spill a $100 bottle of vintage—first and last time in my life I ever paid that much for a bottle—all over my fancy dinner. He refused to replace it, also. After I didn’t tip him, he then literally chased me out of the restaurant and physically threatened me for his tip. He had to be restrained by the manager.
91. In the Dog House
Warehouse worker here. Customers have to show a card to shop, and even though we’re not technically a grocery store, we don’t allow pets. One dude tried to power walk past the employee at the entrance door holding a big pit bull puppy on a leash. We stopped him and told him he couldn’t bring his dog inside…and he LOST IT.
He said he’s our best customer and he’s here five times a week and he owns stock, all that. He demanded to know why we don’t allow dogs. We explained how it’s a food safety issue, especially with an untrained puppy. At this point, our manager came over and just waved him through because he has no backbone and “the customer’s always right.”
Well, not even 5 minutes later, this dog squats in the middle of the main aisle and pees, followed by a poop. The man turned so red and dragged the dog towards the exit, abandoning his groceries. We stopped him and asked him nicely to please clean up after his pup. “That’s the reason we don’t allow them, sir.”
92. Wrong Store
When I worked at Home Depot, a customer tried to return a door that had been installed in their house for 20 years. Literally 20 years. I was only four years older than their door back then. I was floored by the situation. They had the receipt, but the receipt showed they bought it at some mom and pop store. That store had since gone out of business, and the customer argued, “Well, I’m gonna buy the new door here! This place has enough money to refund me and I have the receipt!”
He kept screaming that he had the receipt and did not understand why that receipt being from another store made his point invalid.
93. Bag Lady
A customer bought one item and I asked her if she wanted a bag. She screamed, “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that stupid question! Is there some rule that people who look like me don’t want bags?!?!” and I still did not know whether she wanted a bag or not, so I awkwardly put her item down in front of her. She threw it into a bag and huffed away.
94. Bring Me a Buggy
I had this one lady. Came in with that wrinkled haughty mean-face, looked around for carts and we were currently out. It was very obviously busy, but she came and interrupted a customer I was helping to ask if there were any carts nearby. I told her “No, I haven’t had time to get any. I can get you one in just a minute though,” and finished helping my other customer. She had stormed off before I could go get some carts.
I found out later she had complained to a manager that I refused to help her and that I told her I didn’t have time for her. Also said I was discriminatory and needed to be fired…luckily everyone knows that is completely opposite my character and we were able to laugh.
95. Silver Platter
While I was working at McDonald’s, every single day at the exact same time, this old guy would come in and order his food. He came so often that most people knew that he wanted a special order – overcook the life out of the patty. It started up right when he walked in. That was the easy bit. The problem was the guy was forgetful and always asked for a plate.
Actually, he would demand a ceramic plate to eat on every time he was there. That’s when we would explain to him that this was a McDonald’s and we didn’t have plates. He’d usually be okay with it. But sometimes he’d rant and rave. One day, I watched the guy have an absolute fit. One of my co-workers stepped outside the breakroom with a plate of food that she’d brought from home. When he saw that, he screamed, “I knew you scoundrels had plates!” We just could not convince him otherwise ever thereafter. The moral of the story: Keep it in the breakroom.
96. Don’t Be Greedy
I worked in a clothing store that would occasionally send out $10 and $25 coupons to people. For obvious reasons, you can only use them once, so we were told to rip them up and throw them away after scanning them. The anger that would fill the old ladies’ faces when I ripped that coupon in half and threw it in the garbage after scanning it was scary.
Once, a customer angrily demanded that I give her the coupon back so she could use it again, so I scribbled on it with a black sharpie and gave it to her with a “have a nice day.” I really shouldn’t be in customer service.
97. Goes Without Saying
I had a customer threaten to call the cops because I wouldn’t give them 50% off on a CHARITY bear on Boxing Day. 100% of the proceeds from these teddy bears went to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and they were only $15. The store had a 50% off everything sale for Boxing Day, but it didn’t include the CHARITY bears.
I add capitals because it’s a charity bear…its purpose is right in the name! I basically just kept saying “Ma’am, it’s a charity bear,” because I didn’t know how else to explain that the point of the bear was to raise money…that seemed…obvious. People in line were starting to get really upset with her and she just started to freak right out and was starting to dial 9-1-1.
My boss, so upset—she lost a son early in life to cancer so the Make-A-Wish Foundation was important to her—just gave her a bear and told her to never come back. A bunch of familiar customers of ours were so upset they pitched in the $15 without us even saying anything, which was super kind of them. It was a restoration of faith in humanity, but what a nightmare for no reason. Especially on Boxing Day!
98. The Customer Is Always Right, Especially This Lady
I was out to eat, and this younger lady was acting like a total witch in the restaurant to the staff. Everyone was obviously getting really embarrassed by her behavior…until this middle-aged lady piped up and said from her table, “Oh honey, you’re not pretty enough to act like that.” I seriously could have burst out into applause.
99. Hotel Havoc
I used to work as a front desk agent at a boutique hotel. A guy who was obviously very full of himself came in with an online reservation that he had booked at a shockingly cheap nightly rate. He proceeded to give me a hard time about EVERYTHING, from telling me he shouldn’t have to give me his credit card info since he had prepaid his reservation, to telling me “Um yeah, I’m pretty sure I can find the elevators, I’m not stupid.”
He was just being an all-around jerk. About 10 minutes after checking him in, he came down and demanded that we give him a bigger room with a king bed and a view, even though he had booked a standard queen bed online. I complied, as we had extra king beds available. 10 minutes later, he came down again to complain about the size of the room.
He told me, “I’m only going to give you one more chance to make me happy,” and asked for the general manager. After much arguing between him and my manager, we ended up giving him our nicest suite AND free parking since we had “Given him trouble.” He got all this for a way cheaper rate, like $40 per night! Oh, but he outdid himself.
Get this: He informed us shortly after the ordeal, while on his way out to dinner, that he was not even going to be in the room for the majority of his stay, as he was visiting friends and would be staying at their home. What the heck! So I made it my personal mission to make his life a living nightmare from that point on.
I reset his room keys every time I saw him leave the hotel—which was quite frequently, 3-4 times a day. It was particularly funny when he came back tired from a night out and had to come all the way down to the front desk to get his keys fixed. Needless to say, he was very frustrated by the end of his stay. I doubt he’ll be staying with us again.
100. Give It Your 20%
I’m currently living in Washington, DC. I ate at a fairly nice restaurant and left a 20% tip, as I always do. Suddenly, this server chased me out of the restaurant and asked, “Was there anything wrong with the service tonight?” I told him there wasn’t, and that’s why I left him 20 dollars on the 100 dollar bill. His response shocked me.
He said that most of the people who eat there are Senators, and it’s customary to tip 30% at that particular restaurant. I asked him if he’d rather give me back my 20 and he left in a huff, calling me a cheapskate. Screw that guy.
101. Bad Service Kills
I went out to dinner a few months back with some friends at a pretty typical chain restaurant. Me: “I’ll have a diet coke please.” Waitress: “Oh, we only have Pepsi, is that ok?” Me: “Sure. A diet Pepsi would be fine.” I have my soda and a few refills over the course of dinner and start feeling really, really bad. Right about here is where I should mention that I’m a type 1 diabetic and (since I always just drink diet coke) don’t know the difference in taste between diet and regular Pepsi.
I checked my blood sugar, which had been perfectly on target before the meal, and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. My meter just read HIGH, meaning that the value was so high that the meter actually couldn’t process it. What I had eaten for dinner couldn’t possibly have put me there (and I’d dosed with an appropriate amount of insulin to cover for it) so we flagged down the waitress and I asked “This isn’t diet Pepsi, is it?”
She responded by telling me that it wasn’t, that the diet Pepsi fountain was out of syrup and she didn’t think I’d mind, and besides, I’m plenty skinny and don’t need to drink the diet stuff. I started cursing, pulled out my insulin syringes to dose for the 4 full-sugar sodas that I drank, and told her exactly what I was doing. I then told the manager what had happened, and that I wasn’t planning on paying for the meal but would instead put the money toward the ER bill that I was about to incur.
Went to the hospital where the lab determined that my blood sugar was still in the 700s even after I dosed, and I ended up staying overnight because my glucose level stubbornly refused to come back into range.