Dating is no picnic. It’s hard navigating around unrealistic expectations, conflicting personalities, and mixed signals. But not being on the same page—or even the same book—as a potential partner is a huge red flag, especially if they start behaving too intensely or inappropriately. Have a similar experience? Then get ready as these Redditors share the creepy ways some women took their affections waaay too far.
1. Long Time, Definitely No See
I was taking a language course, and there was this girl I was friends with. I never made a move or flirted with her. I introduced her to my girlfriend and made it very clear I was not interested. Regardless, she fell head over heels for me and started calling me every day: one to two times at first, but then up to 20 times a day.
I again told her I was not interested and that I was unavailable. She then started leaving love notes on my car, on my door, on my motorcycle, and at my work. I changed my number, but she got my new number through my work, and I started cussing at her on the phone to leave me alone. She just giggled and asked why I was playing hard to get.
After she appeared at my sliding glass back doors at 3 AM for the third time, I finally called law enforcement on her. I never told her where I lived—it was totally freaky. Twenty years later, she sent me a message on Facebook and mentioned that she was single and tried to friend me. I blocked her immediately.
2. Like A Woman Possessed
This happened back in college when my friends and I were still into the club and live band scene. We went to one bar and had a couple of rounds of drinks, not enough to get us wasted, but we were definitely having a good time that evening…until two girls introduced themselves to us. One of them looked okay, but the other had an RBF that was pretty to look at.
My friends and I were like, alright, cool. These two girls are making the first move. Great, let’s see where this goes. The second girl sat beside me, and she was weird to me from the get-go. She would place a drink in front of me and say, “Chug that.” I ignored it every time, and she didn’t seem to mind, but different things like that went on during the night.
Almost like she was giving me orders, she would say, “Dance with me,” or “Take a shot,” while her friend conversed away with my other friends. Then out of nowhere, this weird girl...she abruptly transformed as if she’d suddenly gotten possessed. She gave us all this angry, spiteful look. With her eyes full of hate, she reached out and hastily scratched one of my friends at the neck.
I sobered up instantly. To make things short, we noped the heck out of that place really quickly. On the drive home, my friends and I were just stunned into silence.
3. Office Drama
I started a new job, and I shared a small office with a couple of other people, including a woman my age. She was kinda cute, but she was also weird and super naïve (she grew up in a very rural area). She’d flirt with me a lot, but I wasn’t interested. So, she started sending me emails. They were super long and detailed her whole day. She sent them to me every day.
I never responded. Then one day, she sent me this long email confessing her love. I replied with the (very obvious) reasons why it wouldn’t work and asked her to stop sending me emails every day. She didn’t—they kept coming. This went on for months. I asked her in person and online to stop, but I still got these email memoirs every day.
Eventually, I had another female officemate who was her friend talk with her. Finally, the emails stopped. Not too long after, I moved very far away—like, other-side-of-the-world far away. After a few months, another officemate sent me an email asking what city I lived in. I told her, and she wrote back that she had heard the “crazy emailer” was moving to my same small city halfway around the world.
That couldn’t be a coincidence, right? I asked the officemate for more details, and it got creepier and creepier: she was moving to my same neighborhood, got a job nearby, and was looking for an “old friend,” etc. It was about a week before the old officemate finally came clean that she was messing with me.
4. The Sniff Test
When I was in grade school, a girl snuck up behind me in gym class to sniff my butt. I caught her in the act, and I just felt gross.
5. Relationship Sabotage
Someone I once considered a friend started to grow feelings for me, but when she found out I had a girlfriend and didn’t feel the same for her, she went a little crazy. She found out who my girlfriend was somehow, and then DM’d her and tried to tell my girlfriend that I was cheating on her with her. She also claimed I was a pedo because this “friend” was a couple of years younger than us.
Luckily, I was with my girlfriend when she got that DM, so I explained the situation, and then we blocked her. Then, the next day she DM’d her again from an alternate account…
6. Like Mother, Like Daughter
In my early 20s, I went to a party. The woman who was hosting the party full-on tried to reach down my pants to grab my junk. Strange? Yes. What made it more creepy was that we were right in front of her mother, who was cheering her on.
7. From Cruise Control To Damage Control
I got a text from a girl I met on a cruise. She said that she loved our time together and asked if I preferred her over my girlfriend. I had maybe spoken to her once, and it was always with other people around, so obviously, nothing had ever happened between us. My girlfriend was with me when the messages came through.
The messages were tough to explain at first because it’s really hard to prove something isn’t true without witnesses. Looking back now, I just wonder why someone would ever actively try to mess up someone else’s life for no reason.
8. I’ll Be Watching You
This happened in the 90s. A woman found my address in the phone book and sat outside my home for multiple nights, all night long, just watching my house. I live in the middle of the woods, miles outside of town. The thing is, we only had one date and agreed to leave it at that. I only found out sometime later what she had been doing.
9. That’s Some Crazy Optimism
My ex got my name tattooed on her foot…three years after we broke up.
10. Locks Are Key
I was dating this girl who asked me if I had changed the locks since breaking up with my ex months prior. I was like, “No, but she wasn’t a crazy person, so I never worried about it.” She then said that she wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping over at my place if I didn’t change the locks. So, I changed the locks. Shockingly, the next day, my ex sent me an angry text, reading, “So, you changed your locks, huh? Real nice, jerk.”
It turned out that even after we’d broken up, my ex had been secretly coming over to my place the whole time and doing who knows what.
11. No Three Ways About It
My girlfriend at the time and I went to her friend’s house for supper. Immediately after dinner, the friend turned on a “graphic video” of some chick getting railed while another girl kept spitting on her. She looked at us and was like, “So, you guys into stuff like this?” We deliberated for about six seconds and said, “Eh, not so much,” and left.
She was a new friend of my girlfriend, and it was the first time any of us had hung out.
12. Taking A Shot
One of my old professors was stalked and harassed by his ex-girlfriend. It escalated to the point where she got put on a restraining order. The last straw was when he got a new girlfriend, and she straight up shot him in the chest. Purely by luck, he barely survived.
13. Love Letters
This woman stalked me for five years after we broke up. She kept writing me letters at every address I lived at during that five-year period. If she didn’t have the address, she’d send them to the care of my parents. The most memorable letter was the one where she told me she was married. She wrote, “He’s a great guy, but he’s not you.”
Once not long after I’d moved to a new address, I came home and found a box of cookies she’d FedExed to me. Eventually, I moved to a new state. I knew from her return addresses that she also lived and worked there. I was worried we’d run into each other but figured that was pretty unlikely. Then the worst-case scenario happened. After less than a year, she found me through a blog I was keeping and left a message on my voicemail demanding we meet.
Up to that point, I’d been ignoring her and hoping she’d take the hint. I posted a message to her on my blog telling her to stop harassing me, or I’d call law enforcement. That night she called again, and I repeated my threat to bring in the authorities. Thankfully, I haven’t heard from her since.
14. A Long-Term Commitment
Last year I changed the privacy setting on my Facebook account to make some of my posts public. Unbelievably, my crazy ex-wife, whom I had successfully ghosted for 20 years, immediately jumped on there and tried to strike up a conversation.
15. Morbid Curiosity
I once got a friend request on Facebook in the summer of 2011. I was 17, and she was 20. She seemed kinda familiar, so I assumed we knew each other. So, I accepted and asked how we knew each other. It turned out we did not know each other. She found my profile via creeping and decided she wanted to sleep with me. So, she sent me photos and messages trying to convince me.
Now, this freaked me out—there were red flags everywhere. But, I was really more curious than anything. I agreed to meet her in a public place, and she agreed because she wanted to bang in public. I made sure to pack rubbers. We met in person, and she actually matched her photos. So, I spent a good part of a day banging her in various public places and getting to know this stranger.
She was insane. I cannot stress enough how crazy she was. But I was in too deep at this point. I was not going to be anything less than friendly while she had me in a...compromising position. Afterward, she wanted to meet again and go on a date. I ghosted her, and she got the message. But wait, there’s more. A few months later, she tried to hit me up again, and I just kept giving her lame excuses until she stopped.
Then I saw she added my friend on Facebook. I had told him about her before, but we were not on good terms at the time. They met up and actually dated. Like, my homie knew why I backed out, but he still drove right in. Things inevitably fell apart shortly after she got pregnant. That’s the story of how my accepting a friend request resulted in my buddy having a kid.
16. That’s Awful
I met this girl online and talked to her for a bit. I really did start to like her. But later, I found out that the picture she showed me of herself was actually a picture of her friend who passed from cancer.
17. Growing Concern
I hung out with some friends, and they brought someone I hadn’t met yet. We ended up hooking up. Right afterward, she asked me where the used rubber was. I told her, and she grabbed it and said she was going to throw it away. But then, she walked past the trash and went upstairs. Needless to say, I was pretty nervous about getting a call nine months from then.
I think I’m in the clear, but it still creeped me out though.
18. An Officer And A Gentleman
Many years ago, I had a ‘92 Camaro that I kept in great condition and only drove when I was on leave. One night, I was driving home from a date when I got lit up. I checked my speed, and sure enough, I was doing 85 in a 55 zone. Dang. I pulled over, and a female officer approached my car. She asked for my license, my registration, the usual. I forked everything over, and she asked me if my car was a ’92.
I told her that it was, and she started asking me all kinds of questions about it. Had I done any engine work? Did I replace the transmission or rear pumpkin? What kind of clutch did I have on it? Where did I get it from? I answered gamely enough, thinking that maybe I might get a lesser ticket if she was in a good mood.
One of my answers mentioned that I bought it at auction a few years back. She then said she used to drive a pursuit car that was a ’92 Camaro…which was eventually sold at auction a few years back. Then she told me how she lost her virginity in the back seat of that car. Well, okay then. That’s when things started to get weird.
She claimed there was a problem with my plate and ran my VIN. Sure enough, it was the same car she used to drive. She started flirting with me—a lot. Not even just flirting, but she began telling me about herself. She was a virgin until she was 27 because she was a devout Christian, but she eventually realized that God doesn’t really care about premarital relations.
She’d tried “every drug known to man” by taking “samples” from evidence, but the only drugs she liked were coke and booze. She also liked to party. Then, after she saw my army ID, she started telling me about a marine she used to date and how they would “do it” in public. She also told me how much she loved our troops. She said she wanted to have kids: a boy and a girl. She couldn’t see herself settling down, though, unless it was with a cop or a soldier.
I started out confused, but then she climbed into the back seat and told me that she’d like to recreate some old memories. Now I really started to freak out. This was an adult woman, in her full officer get-up, sitting in my back seat, basically proposing to me and offering to consummate the union right there, on the side of a road in an upscale suburb of Miami in the middle of the night.
An image then popped into my head of me coming home after dating and breaking up with her, only to later find my next girlfriend dead alongside a murder weapon with my fingerprints on it lying next to her. I couldn’t shake it the whole time. I was scared in a way I had never been before. I made my excuses, claimed to have a girlfriend (I did not: the date hadn’t gone that well), and told her I had to get up early in the morning.
She let me off with a warning...and her phone number. I never lost a number so fast in my life. I spent the rest of my leave getting spooked by every cop car I saw, thinking it was her.
19. A Fare To Remember
I was going to head home after a night out, and as I was getting into my taxi, a girl jumped in after me. I asked what she was doing, and she said, “I’m coming home with you.” Nope. The taxi driver helped me, and she eventually got out of the car after I shot down her advances.
20. Poor Cinderelly
A girl accused me of cheating on her upon meeting my genuine girlfriend. I had never been with her or even heard a word from her about her liking me. She just assumed the role of my girlfriend without ever telling me and then got mad when she met my real-life partner. We were all about 15 or 16 years old, and I’d taken my real girlfriend out to a local drama group performance of Cinderella.
The crazy girl was in the cast, and she caught my eye from the dressing room as my partner and I entered the building. She gave me a stern look and ran off. Later that night, after the play was over, she approached us and said something insane: “Oh, so this is the girl you’re cheating on me with, huh?!” I was naturally very surprised, as was my partner.
It was like a Mexican stand-off of death stares. Naturally, I asked what the heck she was talking about. I’d never cheated, nor would I cheat on anyone, and it was the first time I’d heard of the relationship between her and me. She proceeded to try and structure her next few sentences, but they didn’t really make sense, and then she ran off again.
I felt awful for her. I had no idea she had any feelings for me, let alone any strong feelings. At the same time, however, I was furious. It was a difficult trip home with my real partner, but it got resolved, and we continued to date for another two months or so before something else much more usual separated us.
21. Hugs Not Drugs
My early 20s were rife with interesting experiences, to say the least. In this particular story, a girl I met at a dive bar once randomly shoved a pill in my mouth while we were making out after we got back to my place. It freaked me out. I immediately spat it out and asked her, “What the heck is this?!” She just giggled, told me it was a sleeping pill, and asked if she could stay the night.
I told her, “Uhh...no. Please leave, what the heck.”
22. She Set His Teeth On Edge
My dentist told me this story once. While he was still studying to become a dentist, he would often work in free clinics in the poor areas around the campus for his practice requirements. A girl came in a few times to have some cavities filled, and during her last session, he told her, “Great, we’re done. All your holes are filled.”
She then made bad, sexy eyes at him. While still in the chair, she replied to him, “Not all of them.” That wasn’t so bad…except that his wife (who at the time was his serious girlfriend) was also his dental assistant. He said the combination of the location, situation, and circumstances creeped him out so much that he nearly ran out of the office.
23. Request Denied
A woman created about 50 different Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram accounts to try to get me to friend her. It’s weird because I’ll get a handful of friend requests from her every few weeks, yet I’ve never even met this woman in person.
24. Run, Don’t Walk
There was this one girl in university who was quite the creep. She was in a really bad breakup, and I stood by her as a friend, but she was not my type in every single way. Anyway, she was pregnant with her ex-boyfriend’s baby. Our faculty was having a party, and she showed up wanting to drink and have fun. Everyone declined to give her any booze.
Then nearly at the end of the evening, she said to me, “You know, maybe you should tell your future stepdaughter hello. She would appreciate your junk when she is old enough.” I was so disgusted that I said I had to take a leak and fled the scene, avoiding that woman like the plague.
25. Stranger Danger
A woman somehow got my number and started texting me, asking if I was going to club X that night (which I was going to). I asked her where I knew her from, and she started lying about us having hooked up the week before during a party that I attended. At first, I was like, “What? I didn’t hook up with anybody there!” However, I started to doubt myself because I did get pretty wasted at that party.
She then began to tell all kinds of stories about how we met, which didn’t make sense at all. I decided to block her and went to a different party that night. I later found out she was actually an out-of-town friend of someone I vaguely knew who showed her my Facebook page. Immediately after seeing it, she decided to stalk me.
26. False Friend
A girl once told me, “I had a dream that you and I banged behind the dumpster, and I can’t get it out of my head. Come on, let’s go.” She then grabbed my junk as if she was going to lead me by the groin. For context, I was in high school, and this girl was “friends” with my long-time girlfriend, and everyone knew about our relationship.
My relationship with my girlfriend was closed, monogamous, unexciting, and sweet…and this fake friend pulled this!? I was angry. I didn’t turn her in because who knows what she would have said that I did to the school admins, but I told my then-girlfriend about it, and she cut her off forever. The witch ended up expelled for bringing illicit substances on a school trip.
27. Out Of This World
My friend’s ex-girlfriend was on and off dating him for years. During one of their breaks, she was pretty interested in me. I did not share the same feelings (it didn’t help that she had just shaved her head). She was very awkward, and you could see that whenever she was upset, she’d try to pull off this Wednesday Addams style I’m-going-to-stare-straight-into-your-soul-until-it-catches-fire kind of look with people.
She was also convinced she had psychic/empathic powers and could read people’s emotional states by staring into their eyes. In reality, she was probably borderline autistic and couldn’t tell when she was making someone uncomfortable if her life depended on it. She once claimed to get these “abilities” from having descended from some sort of space vampires, or space werewolves or something.
But before she gave me the full details of her “heritage,” she just said, “But I shouldn’t talk about that anymore. Just know there’s a lot more going on in this universe than we understand.” She wanted to cuddle with me once, too. I wasn’t interested, but I was an awkward nerd who was bad at turning people down. She thought I was just shy because I was bad with women, so she kind of forced it on me, and I just put up with it for a while to make her shut up.
She also smelled bad, and not just in an “I didn’t shower” kind of way. Instead, it was more like the natural smells of her body were just wrong to me.
28. Better Safe Than Sorry
I was seeing this girl, and we went out three or four times. Eventually, we got to sexy times. I brought a rubber, but she asked me not to use it because she was on birth control. A few days later, she called me crying, looking for me to console her. It turned out she was crying because she thought she couldn’t get pregnant because she was, in fact, not on birth control. Instead, she tried to time it right for her.
Young me learned an important lesson about rubbers that day, and I didn’t speak to her again.
29. Just Creeping By…
I dated a girl who was pretty damaged and had some serious emotional baggage from a prior relationship. She didn’t trust me at all because her previous boyfriend cheated on her, so naturally, that meant all men were like that. She never wanted me to go to bars with my friends because “the only reason guys go to bars is to find girls to bang.”
Anyway, we hung out one night, and I went home early (I don’t recall why). I was in-between apartments and staying at my parents’ house at the time. I woke up at 1:00 AM and went downstairs to grab a glass of water. I just happened to glance out the little window in the front door as I walked by…and what did I see?
Her maroon Oldsmobile Alero was slowly creeping by the house with its lights off before stopping at the end of the driveway. She was no doubt checking to see if my car was there and if I was actually home. Needless to say, I was fully creeped out. But I didn’t say anything to her because I didn’t want to embarrass her, I guess.
A couple of days later, I went home early again, turned out all of the lights, and waited. Sure enough, she came by again. Not too long after that, she introduced me to one of her friends, who was absolutely out-of-my-league hot. My girlfriend then found some excuse to leave me alone with her friend for a few minutes, and the friend almost instantly started asking me for my number and saying things like, “We should hang out.”
Now, I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but this was a setup, clear as day. I didn’t give her friend my number. I left and broke up with her not long afterward. It’s now been 15ish years, and I’m happily married with a beautiful daughter and a lovely house. I literally just found out last week that this creepy ex-girlfriend lives about two seconds away from me.
30. The Other Guy
I met a girl and fell for her pretty quickly. The chemistry was undeniable, and we were spending just about every minute together for five or so weeks. Then she dropped, “My fiancé is getting back from India in two days, so I’m going to be gone for a few days. Can we still see each other when he goes back again?” I was absolutely gutted and had no idea that she was already in a relationship.
I said no, but that didn’t stop her from rocking up at my place again the second he left. I told her I didn’t want to see her again. She started crying and tried to kiss me. I walked away with her sobbing in her car. I really liked her, and it broke my heart to see her like that; I cried a bit myself once I got inside.
I just couldn’t trust her again after what she did.
31. The Issue At Hand
This was maybe not creepy in a sense, but it freaked me out. I was in the school hallway, and school had been over for an hour, but my mother worked there, so I waited. I was getting something from my locker, and this one angry-looking girl walked up to me in the empty hallway. She then took my hand, placed it on her butt, and asked, “Does this feel fake?”
I was 13 at the time, and the whole thing freaked me out for a while.
32. Workplace Harassment
My partner at one of my first jobs was a woman who outweighed me by about 300 pounds. Our job was picking up litter and changing out trash bags at the local parks. Whenever I’d bend over to pick up trash, she’d make comments about my butt, and she’d sometimes bring up that she thought I had a cute butt when we were alone in the truck.
While I was working, she’d also wait to see if my boxers showed at any point and then make an effort to memorize what color they were that day. At one point, another woman joined us for about a week; she only outweighed me by maybe 100 pounds. She graphically described what a threesome between the three of us would look like and insinuated that we should pull over somewhere to make that happen.
I felt incredibly uncomfortable, but there was no way in the heck my foreman would ever do anything about it other than make fun of me, assuming he believed me at all.
33. Excuse Me…What?
A female co-worker had a crush on me and “accidentally” ran into me (literally) at the public mall while I was in the middle of a conversation with a friend. She then proceeded to ask me if I was going to "take" her. Specifically, she said, “So, are you going to hold me down and take me now?” She said this completely without context and with no carnal talk having ever occurred between us that might have justified it or made it a potentially unfunny joke.
It was just out of nowhere. She said this out loud in front of my friend, in the middle of the mall, in public, during the middle of the day.
34. She Showed Her True Colors
When online chat rooms were popular, I met a girl a while back who’d just gotten out of a bad relationship. We started chatting, and from the get-go, I told her I only wanted to be friends. We shared similar interests and enjoyed each other’s company, and through talking, we found out we actually didn’t live too far from each other.
We’d meet up from time to time to play video games and hang out. After about two weeks of being friends, she admitted that she had feelings for me. I said, “That’s sweet, but I only see you as a friend, and I’d like to keep it that way.” From that point on, she would make intimate advances toward me, but I kept refusing.
She progressively kept going into more detail about all the “nasty things” she’d do to me, most of which made me feel super uncomfortable. After a month, I couldn’t handle all the inappropriate behavior anymore and decided that we couldn’t be friends any longer. But when I told her our friendship was over, she threatened me.
She claimed that officers would believe anything she’d say, especially over my word, and she referred to me by an ethnic slur. It’s hard to describe what I felt that day, but I’d have to say that it was mostly fear. I blocked her from everything and blocked her phone number. Luckily that was the last I heard of her.
35. No Means No
There was this female co-worker who I was always cordial with, and I got exposed to her life way more than any co-worker should be: I knew about her family drama, her relationship drama, and everything in between. One day, a few of us went to a bar after work. Eventually, everyone left except for the two of us. It was around 10 PM.
We hadn’t been drinking that much; in two hours, our group of four shared three pitchers of a bad domestic brew. But she forcefully sat next to me the whole time and kept touching my knee at multiple points throughout the night. Anyway, I offered to call her an Uber since I felt like walking home, and she asked if I would come with her.
I asked if she felt like she needed me to come with her because Ubers felt unsafe to take alone. She said no, and that she just wanted some company. I replied that I was not comfortable doing that and that I really just wanted to go home to relax before work the next morning, to which she looked visibly upset upon hearing.
Granted, I felt bad, so I said to her, “You can come with me if you don’t want to be alone, but I’m doing my own thing. I have a dog to feed, and I like to decompress before going to bed.” That was a huge mistake. She agreed and walked with me. A little more than halfway there, she wanted to sit on a bench at a park by my house because she was tired.
I agreed and sat with her for a bit. Immediately, she rested her head on my shoulder. I asked if she had too much to drink, and she said no. Then she placed her hand back on my knee and slowly moved it up towards my zipper and button. I asked her to stop and said I’d prefer just to remain friends/co-workers. She said something along the lines of, “C’mon, everyone wants this.”
I literally had to hold her arm away four or five times while telling her to stop, which she just brushed off as me being silly or “hard to get.” I don’t know how much more seriously I could have told her to stop. She got annoyed and asked me if I was gay or if I didn’t find her attractive, and I tried to explain that this just wasn’t something I wanted.
I was going through a bad breakup, among plenty of other things at the time, and I just wanted to keep my head down and focus on work. But she still kept pushing. Not knowing how to deal with the situation, or with the anxiety of all the ways that this could go badly for me, or even with just a lack of better judgment, I stopped pushing her hand away.
I figured the sooner I let her do this, the sooner it would be over with, so I proceeded to receive the most stressful blowjob I have ever gotten. I didn’t even get hard, and I was anxiously looking around at all the people walking by. I guess after about 15 minutes or so, her jaw must have gotten tired because she looked at me and said, “Okay, I’m done. Can you call me that Uber?”
I did. I had the most stressful and awkward five months at that job until I had to quit and never see her again.
36. She Needed To Get Out Of His Hair
I was at a summer camp for blind and visually impaired people, and we were traveling somewhere. We were on a bus, and my friend and I were talking. All of a sudden, he said, “Oh yeah, by the way, there’s this girl that told me she likes you and that she’s going to sneak into your room and watch you sleep. She wanted you to know that, or else she threatened to kill me.”
I didn’t believe it at first, but then I noticed that I lost some hair the next morning. I was like, Okay. What. The. Actual. Heck? It happened every night for the rest of the time I was at camp. Even worse, the following year, it happened again. So, I started to make sure to lock my window. The night I started doing that, I heard repeated knocking, and even more aggressively, I could hear someone whispering, “I know you’re in there (insert my name here). Open the dang window!”
I noped the heck out right there and started sleeping with my cane ever since (I’m not completely blind, but I still have one). I haven’t been there since 2018, but I’m going back this year. Hopefully, that doesn’t happen again. That scarred me.
37. She Got The Boot Instead
My ex of less than a week climbed through my first-floor apartment bedroom window. It was 2:30 AM, and she was wasted. While climbing, one of her shoes fell off, and upon seeing it, she thought it was another girl’s shoe. She then began beating me with her shoe while yelling, “Who’s shoe is this?” I woke up and had to bear hug her before carrying her out the front door and placing her on the porch.
38. Waiting For A Grace Period
My ex faked being pregnant to stop me from breaking up with her. In every relationship that I’ve ended since then, I’ve waited until my girl’s period arrived before breaking up. Having a crazy partner bargain with the life of your unborn child will mess you up.
39. All She Saw Was A Piece Of Meat
I was at a costume party dressed as a piece of bacon. This wasted girl casually walked up to me, bit my nipple through my costume, and then continued to whisper in my ear, “What a juicy piece of meat.” I probably stood there for a solid minute as I tried to figure out what just happened before I got the heck out of there.
40. Crazy In Love
When I was single, I played the field, so to speak. This was in the heady days of the internet before smartphones and all that jazz. I met a lot of crazies. Like, a LOT of crazies. The weirdest one was probably the girl I met online on a Wednesday who quickly progressed to lurking outside my bedroom window by Sunday night. We had met in person on Friday and bumped nasties, as was the style at the time.
The following day I went to a BBQ with her and all her family, and she introduced me as her new long-term boyfriend. Her mum asked me about kids and stuff. It was all a bit wild—but this was just the beginning. On Sunday, I hung out with my mates and went to the movies. I turned my phone off for the movie, and by the time I turned it back on, I had 14 voice messages asking/pleading/yelling at me.
She’d convinced herself I was cheating and wanted to know where I was. Bear in mind: I had only just met her in person two days beforehand. I just went, “Witches be crazy, yo,” to my mates and thought nothing more of it. Then at 2 AM, I got a text that read, “We need to talk. I know you’re in there. I’m watching you right now.” She was outside my bedroom window.
I noped-noped-noped-freaking-noped, and she nearly tore the door down to get in. When I didn’t let her inside, she wrote a four-page manifesto and left it on my door for me to read. It was an insight into the mind of a crazy woman. Holy heck. She sort of bothered me a bit for the next couple of months but then found some new guy. I stalk her every now and then on Facebook, and she seems moderately sane. Maybe.
She’s one of those Live, Laugh, Love ladies. I kinda wonder what it would have been like if we’d stayed together and gone on a third date. I reckon she would have shanked me for looking at another woman.
41. Sleep Tight
A woman once climbed up the fire escape next door and crawled through my first-floor bedroom window. That in itself wasn’t too creepy: she didn’t jump in my bed or anything. What was creepy was when I woke up to her standing in the middle of my room, watching me sleep. She actually turned her head to the side with a creepy smile and said, “Hello, sleepyhead.”
That was freaky as heck. I put chains on my windows after she left that day. I told her it was to stop the cat from getting out my window.
42. Hitting The Brakes
I went on a first date for brunch at a small café by the beach with a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend. I took an Uber there in case we had drinks. The date went smoothly. As we were leaving, she saw me request another Uber and offered to give me a ride back to my place instead. I thought, cool. We hadn’t been drinking, it would save me a few bucks, and maybe it could also lead to sexy times.
Then, halfway back to my place on a long road in the middle of nowhere, she dropped, “So, are we going to do this thing or what?” Score, I thought. I asked her, “What do you mean by ‘this thing?’” She answered, “Start a serious relationship.” I told her, “Uh, this was our first date, and...” Before I could finish my sentence, she pulled the handbrake on the car and told me to get out.
Apparently, she didn’t have enough time to mess around with guys who weren’t serious. We had just met! If she’d been a bit more patient and gone on a few more dates with me, we might have actually become an item.
43. Plot Twist: The Pub Was On Elm Street
I was chilling and chugging some beers with friends at my local pub in Germany. There were six people in our group that evening. Four of them went to play table soccer, but it wasn’t far away from our table—it was two or three meters away max. So I was left behind at that point with a girl I didn’t know. We were alone at the table, but my friends weren’t far away, so I didn’t mind.
Suddenly, this girl moved really close to me and was like, “Hey, wanna see my knives?” I—being a bit wasted and feeling a little bit randy at the time—thought she was good-looking, so I said, “Sure.” I couldn’t really understand her because the music was loud. So, she pulled out 10ish knives, and I was just like, “Why the heck do you have them with you!?”
She explained in a creepy tone and expression that she loved the feeling of knives on her and how she always fantasized about cutting herself. That was the point where I went, yeah, nope, screw that. I instantly excused myself. When I came back to the table, she was gone. Out of curiosity, I asked my friends where she went, and they told me she left.
One of my friends then asked who that girl even was, but nobody knew. Everyone just thought one of us knew her. Obviously, I told them the story right away. They all believed me because I’m an honest person when it comes to such things, and they all made fun of me as though I’d just survived Freddy Krueger.
44. Crazy In Love
Maybe it’s just me, but I’m sort of a magnet for crazy girls. The craziest thing a girl said to me was, “I wish I could lock you in a cage and throw away the key, so no one else can come near you, just me.” It sounds fake and insane, but it’s incredibly true, unfortunately. I was with her for about a year and a half. She didn’t lock me away, but anytime she found out I’d spoken to another girl—even if it were a co-worker—she would flip the heck out.
She even forgot about the day we first met and proceeded to go mental on me, saying that I must have been talking about some other girl. She then blocked me on everything until she remembered again. I’d say it took her about an hour.
45. Two Words: Restraining Order
I had a stalker once, and she was creepy as heck. She was a friend of a friend. I met her at a party, and she seemed nice enough. A couple of days later, I got a friend request from her on Facebook, and it just started getting weird. She wrote to me constantly and began to post things like, “I’m thinking about you all the time,” on my wall even after I’d asked her to stop writing to me.
I had a girlfriend at the time, but this woman would tag me in her half-dressed selfies. I changed all my online accounts because she would stalk me on all the forums I was on. Then she somehow got my address and phone number, and she’d text me the second I got home and ask me what I was doing. Of course, I didn’t answer her, so she would start texting things like, “I know you’re home. Can I come in?”
She also posted pics of herself outside my building, and she would throw her panties through my mailslot. It was all freaky—but then it took an even darker turn. She cut my name in her arm and posted it on Facebook. In the end, my girlfriend left me because she was scared of her; the stalker sent me pictures of my girlfriend talking with male co-workers and friends, going out with her friends, or just shopping in general.
The final straw for my girlfriend occurred when the stalker sent me pictures she’d taken through the windows of my girlfriend’s home while she was home. So, I would definitely call this woman creepy…
46. Time For Beddy-Bye
When I was in college, a friend of mine had this one girl who would not leave him alone despite making it crystal clear that he was in a long-term relationship. He returned to his room on three different occasions to find her in his bed waiting for him. He reported it each time, and she’d get “talked to” by either the RA’s or the dean of students, but nothing more would come of it.
She suddenly stopped bothering him, and a week or so later, one of his suitemates found her in HIS bed waiting for him. After that incident, she left school. We think the school contacted her parents, but we don’t know for sure.
47. She Must Have Kept One Heck Of A To-Do List
Six months after our breakup, my ex called me out of the blue because she wanted to see me. It seemed strange to me, but I accepted. I'd soon regret that decision. When we met, she seemed friendly and all...at first. Then, at a certain point, she pulled out a sheet listing all the men she’d banged after our relationship—and she read it all to me. The list came complete with an accurate description of her every carnal encounter.
Well, it was an awkward moment.
48. That Escalated Quickly
Back when I was 16 and still in school, a female classmate became really obsessed with me. She would send me tons of weird messages, she always tried to pair with me in science class, and she’d openly stare at me a lot of the time. I was usually just polite in return and never went out of my way to interact with her. She ended up getting really creepy and got me in a lot of trouble.
At one point, her messages became genuinely worrying, and I did not know what to do. I remember that the night it got really bad. That night, she sent me a disturbing picture. It was my name carved into her arm. I had no idea what to do. In hindsight, I should’ve told someone straight away. So, the next day I prepared to tell one of the teachers—or just anyone—to possibly get her help.
But before I could, she told people that I told her to carve my name in her arm. It was a pretty awful time for me. I got attacked at school that same day, officers came to my house, my phone got taken away, and everybody treated me like a felon. Apart from my two main friends at school, everyone seemed to think I was in the wrong.
The next day at school, I got called into the head’s office and told I was being expelled. They called my parents, who very angrily took me home. They didn’t want to listen to my explanation or side of the story. Thank God that on that same night, the officers came back, returned my phone, and told me they’d established that I had nothing to do with her carving my name into her arm.
They apologized to me and seemed pretty genuinely sorry. It’s all explained to my dad that I was not in the wrong. The officers spoke to the head of the school, who agreed I’d be allowed to return the next day. He told me that the girl would not be there when I go back.
49. The Present Danger
Back when I was 19 or 20 years old, I had a part-time counter job at a local shop. After work, I would go out to my car, and I started finding notes tucked under my windshield wiper. They were casual “you’re so cute, I want to get to know you” type notes. There was no name or anything, so I just kind of shrugged it off and went about my business.
Then the notes started becoming more frequent and eventually turned into full-out love letters. The writer talked about being lonely and wanting to be my girlfriend, but she was too shy to talk to me. At that point, I started to get concerned, so I asked the people I worked with if they knew anything. None of them knew a thing about it but thought it was hilarious. What happened next wasn't hilarious.
Then what really put me over the top was when I went out to my car one night and found nothing on my windshield. So, I got in my car and noticed a wrapped present with an envelope taped to it. It was inside my car. I opened the gift, and it was a very expensive bottle of booze that I threw out. The letter was super graphic and vulgar and clearly from a woman.
I still had no idea who was doing this, but it kept going on with a different gift for the next few nights: a bag of weed, a CD from my favorite band, and a restaurant gift card. I was super freaked out at this point, so I talked to my bosses to see if there was anything they could do. They basically shut me down and wished me good luck with the issue.
That night I triple-checked to make sure I locked my car door, and sure enough, after my shift, I found another bottle of booze and a letter. I called my boss the next day and quit. I never went back, and I never found out who it was.
50. No Regrets
A girl who was a good friend of mine in high school once shot me down and wanted to stay friends. She then started dating my buddy. I thought, cool, no problem, because she would set me up with her friends, and I had a lot of fun. I didn’t ever find a girlfriend in high school, but I still had a blast, if you know what I mean. We graduated, went our separate ways, and grew apart while in college.
I got a girlfriend, and I ended up marrying her after college. But not long after I married my wife, my old friend started calling me. At this point, she had been married for several years to someone I didn’t know. We started talking like we were friends again. She told me she was pregnant, to which I responded with, “Congratulations! Excellent! Good for you guys!” Strangely, she told me before she told her husband.
She later found out she was having twins, and a few days after, she told me she had crazy regrets. I asked, “Oh yeah, what’s that?” She answered that she regretted that we never got together. I said, “That was because you turned me down and dated my buddy. We were friends.” She then responded that just this once, we should hook up now. I immediately turned her down, but she was adamant that we could.
She reasoned that because she was already pregnant, we had no worries there. But I declined her offer again. That’s when she said something truly messed up. She said she wished her twins were mine and hers and that she’d been in love with me since the very beginning. She also told me that she always thought we would end up together until I started dating someone seriously. Flabbergasted, I replied, “Sorry, we need to stop talking.”
I think she was having marriage problems and wanted out. She knew I once liked her years earlier, so instead of just ending her marriage like an adult, she was looking for another excuse to blow it up. She also knew I’d graduated college and landed a job in my field; she tried to blow up her marriage with a blue-collar guy. I quickly noped out and told her we couldn’t be friends and that she should really fix her marriage.
I lost her number and never looked back. I lived a long way away, so she couldn’t just show up. I did tell my wife immediately after the conversation happened. She thought it was funny. She even kept this old friend on Facebook.