Moving in with a new roommate is always a bit of a gamble—but sometimes, it’s more like losing a game of Russian roulette. These people have taken to Reddit and Quora to share their experiences of living with some of the worst roommates in existence, and they are...unpleasant, to say the least.
1. Funny Bunny
My roommate in freshman year of college was this really tall, total bro of a hockey player. I couldn't believe what I saw him do on our first night. He took an old stuffed bunny toy in pajamas from under his pillow and kissed it goodnight before hugging it close to him. I soon observed that this was part of his bedtime routine. I never mentioned it to him, and he never mentioned it to me. It was bizarre.
2. Not On The Couch
One of my housemates in college was a heavy drinker, which in itself wasn’t really an issue to the rest of us because he wasn’t really loud or belligerent about it. He had a disgusting problem, though: He wet himself pretty frequently whenever he was really trashed, which is usually the condition he drank himself to.
It got so bad that whenever he started drinking, we would all start encouraging, sometimes outright demanding, that he go to his own room before he passed out and peed on one of the couches, or someone else’s bed (he had a habit if we were all hanging out of just getting up and wandering into someone else’s room and passing out in their bed).
3. Hang On…
He lived in a quad with 3 other dudes. All met through Facebook before moving in. They thought he was normal. They were in for a rude awakening. No one realized anything was amiss until about a month in. The one guy would never leave his bed and would only eat pizza. He would leave the empty pizza boxes in his bed, and either sleep with them on top of or under him. He never threw them out.
The real nail in the coffin was when he apparently clogged the toilet. The plunger wasn't getting the job done, and after 15 minutes he panicked. He walked out of the bathroom, took a wire hanger out of his closet, fashioned it into a stick, and went back in. The toilet flushed. He came back out, fashioned the hanger back into a hanger shape, rinsed it off, and PUT HIS SHIRT BACK ON THE HANGER INTO THE CLOSET.
4. A Close Shave
I was 23 yrs of age, recently single, self-sufficient, and living in Las Vegas. I was constantly aware of my surroundings as I had a previous stalker in my world. Friends and family suggested I get a roommate for safety and overall general well-being. I doubt they realized what my roommate would be like...
The person I chose was a very large and muscular man, twenty years my senior. He was the type of man that most people would have definitely chosen to walk on the other side of the road in order to avoid basic eye contact. This man was the real deal! A manly man who looked like a killer. He was also one of the nicest people I had ever encountered up to that point. Oh… and he was a Hells Angel motorcycle club member. He was PERFECT!!!
The both of us had certain rules we needed to follow. Neither one of us would bring anyone around or discuss the other's business to outsiders. We grew to trust each other immensely. He was my best friend, brother, father, and protector. I must have been the same for him...
Then one day, I noticed something strange. I have never been a hairy person. Therefore, I was seriously having some strange thoughts as to why I had to replace my electric shaver twice in a 3-mo period. I told myself to keep my thoughts in check and just ignore it for now.
One Friday evening I arrived home from work. I had a date planned that evening and was excited as this would be my first date in several months. I had recently left my ex and wanted some time on my own prior to my next chapter in which would ultimately turn out to be a novel of relationships. My roommate was locked in his room. He said that he was ok; just resting. I advised him of my plans and proceeded to get ready. Where was my brand-new (expensive) shaver? I had to say it out loud. “Hey, do you know where my shaver went”?
All of a sudden his bedroom door swung open, and standing before me was something I had never encountered! My biker protector was now a morbidly obese, girly-girl with bright red lipstick, and a bad wig.
For those of you who know, there are some extreme incidents that have a slow-motion effect on your brain. I was intensely aware of every movement and thought my body had.
Immediately, he apologized for my shaver (s). “It's okay”, I squeaked. He then explained his story. It was and is HIS story, therefore, I will not tell it. However, in MY story, he explained that he was so comfortable with me that he had decided to explore a part of himself that had been weighing heavily on him for a large part of his life. He was scared, but he knew I wouldn't judge him.
He then whipped out my shaver and asked if I would shave the back of his shoulders!!!! Well, why not? I helped him out, told him to keep the shaver, canceled my date, and went with him to an outrageous nightclub and we had the time of our life!!!!!
5. An Unexpected Encounter
I was a temporary resident at a three-month-long advanced course and lodging was provided. I hadn’t met the person residing on the other side of the bathroom, and assumed that it would be another male student, but at the time I checked in, the room was yet unassigned. The bathroom had a door on each side of a long mirrored-covered wall with two sinks. Each door had a sliding-bolt lock which could be latched from the inside when privacy was desired. A commode was on my wall and a large (deep) bathtub/shower was on the wall of the other room.
It was wintertime and our class had been on a day-long field trip out in the elements. I got back to the room, cold and damp, and decided that a long soak in a tub full of hot water would feel great. I went into the bathroom and started the water filling the tub and went back into my room to take my clothes off and get my hygiene accessories as it filled.
I plugged a set of headphones (real headphones, not earbuds) into my CD player (a predecessor to today’s MP3 devices) and laid back in the tub. It was great. I don’t know if I actually dozed off or not, but I laid there with my eyes closed just mentally drifting and enjoying every minute of it until the water had cooled off and I decided to get out. When I opened my eyes, I was in for a shock.
There was a bra and a pair of lacy panties laying on the counter between the two sinks. Oh my goodness! The room on the other side of the bathroom had been assigned, and evidently assigned to a female student and I had not taken the precaution of latching the other door to the bathroom. I opened the drain on the bathtub and went back to my room to dry off.
I hadn’t even gotten completely dried off when the bathroom door opened and a woman with a towel wrapped around her hips appeared. “You left your stuff in the bathroom”, she said as she handed me my little bag of stuff and my CD player. But it gets worse: “Oh never mind me”, she said, “I’ve already seen you in the tub while I was waiting my turn for a shower”.
Over the next three months, we became good friends and had many more “bathroom encounters”, even to the point that it didn’t even seem out of the ordinary to have a lady come in and sit on the commode while I was standing in front of a mirror shaving and brushing my teeth each morning.
6. Lights Out
I shared an apartment in NYC with my best friend from college, Stacy. We had graduated and I was working long hours. She had a degree in psychology, so she couldn’t find a job. She was always broke and her parents paid her rent. But for food and clothes, she mooched off of me. It was hard because she was my best friend and we had a blast together, yet I couldn’t afford to support 2 people at the age of 22.
Then Gino came along. He was a semi-famous male model. And dumber than a box of rocks. She was in love with him, infatuated with his fame and looks. He never seemed to have money either, so after a while, he stayed over more and more, and then HE was mooching off me too! I tried to ignore it because I worked 12 hours a day and was so exhausted. Gino actually moved in with us secretly (he’d pretend to go “home” every few days. But I learned he had given up his apartment and my apartment was where he told people he lived). So she let him move in, without asking me. He never contributed to our rent or bills. I hated him!
Months went by. I thought it was bad already—but it was going to get so much worse.
She and Gino had loud fights regularly. They were both a bit crazy so combined, they were like a powder keg waiting to explode. I was quite meek and socially awkward at that age so I just…ignored it. A few times I’d come home from work to discover they’d done it in my bed! Also, they were slobs and their room was a filthy mess.
They both had a habit of eating whatever food was around, and it was always mine. I had to start hiding food under my bed. She also wore my clothes and makeup. She used my towels and hair products. The tension built and built.
When they fought, she always hid out in my room and confided in me. He was mean to her. I felt sorry for her. She and I would plot against him whenever they had “broken up” then the next day she’d be back with him like nothing had happened. I wanted to move out but finding a place in NYC wasn’t easy. Especially with little money. Also, I had lots of money invested in my security deposit so if I bailed, I would lose it.
One hot summer day, I made it home, exhausted from work, to find our electricity wasn’t working. At first, I thought we’d forgotten to pay the bill. She and Gino had just had the WWIII of fights the night before. I called the electric company. When they told me what happened, I wanted to scream. Gino had called and closed the account. HE HAD OUR ELECTRICITY CUT OFF.
This was the 90s, before companies asked you a million security questions in order to start or stop utility services. I just couldn’t believe anyone would do something like that! It felt like it was 120 degrees in that apartment without the AC on. And, it would be 3 days before they could turn our power back on. And, I had to pay around $200 to get it back on. I was furious!
That’s what finally made me snap. I packed a suitcase and called a friend to ask if I could stay with her that night. Then without saying a word to Stacy, I left. Through friends I was able to find a nice apartment, sharing it with a great guy who I’d never met. I had left my furniture behind and most of my possessions in that apartment but I didn’t care. I never wanted to see those two again! Stacy figured out my new phone number and called and called. I never spoke to her. We had been inseparable for over 5 years. I later heard she found a job in a store in Soho. I always avoided that area for fear I’d see her. She ended up marrying Gino, then soon divorcing.
She and I never saw each other again. We sort of chatted years later on Facebook. But I stopped returning her messages. She had hurt me so badly. And I guess I never got over it.
7. When The Roommate’s Away…
I had the misfortune of living with this woman for about 4 months in 2016. She already was occupying one room of the house, since about a year prior to when I moved into the other room. I thought I’d have some peace since we both have our own rooms.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
"The Incident"
I left the city for a weekend to go home. My room’s lock was not functioning, so I told my housemate that in case she has guests over, she can use my room as long as she cleans up later and also texts me prior to her party.
I came back on Monday morning to find the house littered with bottles, chips packets, dinner un-eaten on the tables, and all things you consume at parties. I still was okay with it, because I knew she would clean all this up. Her guests (3 men) were sitting on the couches talking about last night and munching chips. I turned to enter the safe confines of my room, and found her in my bed with 2 other shirtless men on either side, everyone combing their hair or yawning or just waking up. I stood there speechless.
She saw me standing at the door, made no attempt to hurry up and get these people out of my bed, leisurely vacated my room in the next 10 minutes and sat in the living room with her other friends.
If this wasn’t enough, I went into my room which was entirely trashed with more food, guys’ clothes, and her bra under my pillow. I stormed out and told her to clean my room asap. She made a face like “why is this girl being such a buzzkill when I have my friends here”, and didn’t move from her place for a long time, while I stood there with my heavy luggage unable to sit on my own bed.
I have no qualms with her lifestyle, but not respecting someone’s boundaries is very uncouth.
8. Knock Next Time?
When I was a freshman in college, my roommate—who is now one of my closest friends—was that really innocent girl, who never really knew how the female body “works”. She was a Christian, and her parents were super religious.
One evening when she wasn’t supposed to be in the room, I invited my boyfriend over to show him my dorm room and my new life. One thing led to another and we started “messing around” if you know what I mean.
It had been about twenty minutes since we started, and the climax was approaching. It was the worst possible timing. At this moment, the door opened and my roommate walked in, and at the same time, my boyfriend finished and moaned so loudly.
It was so embarrassing but her facial expression was priceless. She was like “oooookay I’ll come back later”? and slammed the door shut. My boyfriend was the one who was super embarrassed. I laughed for the rest of the night.
I had a very awkward conversation with my roommate the next day…
9. Universal Towel
I only lived in a dorm for one year. Our dorms were set up with two students to a room, and two rooms to a bathroom.
So I was one of four 18-year-old boys who shared a bathroom for an entire year.
At the end of the year, we had to clean our bedrooms and bathrooms or we were fined by the college.
The shower stall had exactly two clean spots on the floor: the places where you stood when you took a shower. The rest of the floor required a pressure washer to clean. But that wasn’t the grossest part.
The grossest part was the towel. There was a brown hand towel draped over a pipe near the sink. I used it to dry my face after I washed my face at night. I never washed it, because I didn’t think that drying my face made it dirty.
At the end of the year, my roommate put the towel in his pile of clothes.
Then one of our suite-mates said the towel was his.
It turns out that three of the four of us had been using that towel all year, without washing it, thinking it was ours and we were the only ones using it.
10. The Ghost
So I am 32 years old. Husband and I rent out two rooms, one of whom to a guy we have nicknamed "the ghost". He pays a set fee, doesn't eat any food, does his laundry at 3am (other side of the house, sound insulated laundry room so we can't hear anything). He doesn't drive (Ubers to work) so thus doesn't have a car, never asks us for a thing.
He just comes and goes as he pleases, pays his rent on time, and is quiet. Occasionally you hear him as he is playing an online game and talking to some people. He has never had a person over, though occasionally leaves for a week to go to a convention. He has no family, no relationships, etc. he has been in the same call center job for the past 6 years.
I occasionally check his room for bodies and general hygiene (no food piling up and molding kinda stuff). He is just your quiet, nerdy guy who is our ghost. We invite him out to dinner sometimes, but he doesn't say much.
11. Not The Brightest Bulb
I had to work abroad for three months. I came home to discover the bathroom light bulb had blown just after I left. Roomie felt she couldn't change it herself so called an electrician. Electrician laughed at her and told her she could save a fortune and do it herself. She still hadn't done it by the time I got back.
Needless to say I fixed it in about 5 minutes. It would have been sooner but I couldn't stop chuckling at the thought of her going to the bathroom in the dark for months.
12. No TP For Me
I had a roommate who absolutely refused to buy toilet paper. After weeks of her taking ours, the three of us started hiding it so she would be forced to buy her own. Instead, she had an insane solution: She started taking heaps of napkins from restaurants and taking rolls of our paper towels. One night we all went out to dinner, came home, and the entire basement was flooded because she backed up the toilet with god only knows how much stuff that shouldn't ever be flushed.
13. MacBook Go
First year of college, my friend's roommate came stumbling into their dorm room one night. It was blatantly obvious that she was inebriated beyond reason. She started shouting, “I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM”, which woke up my friend. She saw her roommate staggering back and forth through the doorway, but stayed in bed because she really didn't know how to react. Before the roommate left to go to the party, she'd placed her white Mac laptop on her chair by her desk. That was a fatal mistake.
So, what we think happened was that the white from the laptop on the seat made the chair look like a toilet in the mind of the roommate. She approached the chair, pulled down her pants, and sat on her laptop. There was only one way this could go. Although her laptop was covered in urine, she denied that this ever happened.
14. Allergic Non-Reaction
I lived with three of the worst girls I’ve ever met when I was in college. I signed a yearlong lease with them and lasted two months before I noped out and found some poor soul to take over my lease. They ignored me 98% of the time, except for when they ate my food in the fridge before going downtown (which they did every week from Thursday through Sunday), and when they locked themselves out (which also happened Thursday through Sunday when they were coming home from the bar).
They also stood outside my door and loudly made fun of me or mocked my appearance. I’m a pretty chill person, so usually I would just hang out with other friends and just come home to sleep. But one day, a friend accidentally let it slip to one of the girls that I’m allergic to avocado. Their response was absolutely unhinged.
The next day, I opened the fridge and saw that they'd cut all their avocados in half and piled them on and around my food in the fridge. They didn’t know that I only get sick when I eat avocado, not from being around it, so they just went and used their own time and money...in the hopes of what? Making me sick? Giving me an allergic reaction? Come on.
15. Self-Cleaning Shower
My roommate thought they could 'clean' the shower by leaving it running with super-hot water and closing the door. They turned the water on and merrily left for work. It was my day off, and I realized something was amiss when I realized how many hours the water had been running. I knocked, but of course there was no answer. I panicked and tried to open the door, but it was locked. So, naturally, I thought one of my roommates had locked themselves in there and, I dunno, passed out or something.
I went completely crazy and called the housing office so they could break down the door. Turns out, the wood had swelled so much from all the moisture, they had to pry the door open. There was no one in there. After that, I was just confused...until the roommate in question got home and explained.
When we got the bill for the door they had to replace, the roommate tried to weasel their way out of paying for it. They fully intended to make all four of us split the cost, and there was NO WAY that was happening. They did eventually pay up, thank goodness.
16. Long-Distance Relationship
In college, my roommate pretended he had a girlfriend who lived in England (we're in the US). He used to talk to her on the phone and everything while we were both in the dorm. My roommate was Facebook friends with her, of course, and a few of her friends whom he had 'met while visiting her'. He used to talk about how much he missed her.
After I moved, I found out she never existed. Fake profile, fake name, fake pics...he was talking to no one (except himself) on the phone. I have no idea why he'd go to such lengths for this lie, but I felt really weird about the whole thing once I found out.
17. Losing Nemo
I had a roommate not too long ago who was weird in...well, weird ways. Here, decide for yourself:
One day, I woke up to find a fish tank in the living area and no one home. Amused, I texted him. He confirmed the tank was his and that the two fishes were his pets. But—I saw only one fish swimming around. Hmm I thought, did he forget how many fishes he bought?
Anyhoo, I continued with my day. In the evening when he returned, he started looking frantically in the tank for that second fish.
Turns out, the first one had bitten off the fins of the second and the second had been in hiding ever since. (Before this point I had no concept of fish rivalry)
Super sad, I thought he would intervene. Probably separate the two. But he didn't. He let the second fish sit in the bottom of the tank, all depressed, until after a few days both the fishes developed some sort of greenish fungus and died. I'm assuming he never cleaned the tank or changed the water.
I'll admit, I cried a little. And I didn't even realize what he planned to do with them: He flushed the two down the toilet, looked me square in the eye and said, “Oh no, I was planning on making a fish fry outta them”!
A few days later, when I was finally over the two fishes dying tragically, I saw him come home with a big beautiful but deceased butterfly. Wow I thought. What next?
He explained that he found the little guy on the subway platform. It was so beautiful, my roommate couldn't leave him there. I enquire further: What was he planning on doing with the butterfly?
He puts forth a plan: He was going to take just a little bit of liquid nitrogen from his laboratory, bring it home on the subway, freeze the butterfly, and save it in our apartment's refrigerator.
His eyes were delighted. He was so happy. I was shocked. A hundred concerning expressions on my face made the use of words unnecessary.
He immediately said, “Okay okay, don't worry. I'll just tape this guy to the lamp post in my room”. He did exactly that. Cello tape, butterfly, lamp post.
It stayed there for about a year.
18. Don’t Touch The Thermostat
I lost the random roommate lottery freshman year of college. She was a foreign exchange student from China, and we had NOTHING even remotely in common. Here's a list of my favorite things she did to me.
She would wash her clothes in the sink, not the washing machine downstairs. She would hang the clothes up to dry, even on my side of the room. I finally convinced her that she couldn't hang her wet clothes on my TV. I came home one afternoon and she had hung a wet dress over my closet door. It was soaking, and had ruined all my pictures from home. She came back to me crying on the floor and she patted my shoulder. Guess what she said to me? "It's OK. It's only photos". I could have hit her.
She liked the room hot. Not warm, HOT. She would turn the thermostat up to 85°. I tried to talk to her over and over about a compromise, but finally I got fed up. I ended up opening the window when it was 15° outside. We both got sick, but at least I wasn't so hot.
She told me I had to take my room decorations down. The bedroom should be a peaceful place and my pictures of home were too busy.
She hated my boyfriend. He would come over, and we'd sit on my bed and play Xbox. When she would come back from class and see him there, she'd take all her clothes off, turn the lights off, and go to bed. Didn't matter if it was 3 pm or 9 pm. Then she went behind my back. Instead of talking to me about my boyfriend, she told the RA I was being mean to her.
She refused to take medicine for things. I get that it was her culture, but she would lie on the bed and scream (literally) from menstrual cramps. Didn't matter if it was 4 am the night before finals. She was screaming and chewing on a ginger root.
19. Not So Zen
I had to share a closet with my roommate. It was even worse than you'd imagine. Not only did I have to drop everything and let her (or her daughter) in quite often, even if I was in the midst of getting dressed or it was the middle of the night, but then they’d bring more stuff and tell me I had to make room for it—in my own closet—because the other one was full, and then I’d be told to leave the room so they could have privacy with their stuff.
If I wasn’t home at the time, she’d take it a lot further, rummaging through all my things and laying whatever she disapproved of on my bed for me to come home and find. Some of those things were private (nothing bad, just keepsakes and personal care items that were no one’s business but mine) and stored in places where she couldn’t possibly have found them unless she dragged every single thing out of the closet to get to it. I would come home and follow the trail of dripped coffee from her cracked old mug, retracing everywhere she had apparently searched, from my bathroom into every corner of my room.
At my job, I worked with a wide variety of people from many cultures. I decorated my windowsill and dresser with neat little gifts coworkers had given me on holidays, and some little things of my own that I liked for my own reasons. I had a couple of tiny Buddha statues in the window, along with a few Yankee candles in jars (happened upon a lucky sale one day and stocked up) that I would alternate and burn here and there for the scent.
The daughter who still very much believed that my room was her room, walked in as she pleased to try to convert me to her religion (I maintained, and still do, that I’m agnostic, happy to explore but absolutely not interested if you intend to force your religion down my throat uninvited). She saw the statues and candles one day and lost her mind. She had never in her life heard of the Buddha, and believed the statues and candles were for evil spells that I intended to cast on her family.
I didn’t even bother arguing…some people, you just can’t talk to. My roommate made me put them away so her daughter wouldn’t be upset to see them. In my room…
20. Spaced Out
Had a roommate that was easily distracted by things. Anything. He could have a thought about why stars are certain colors and then go on a mission to find out why. Or maybe it would be a curiosity of the air pressure in his tires.
The problem was that when this happened he would just wander off from whatever task or activity he was doing at the time.
So many burned dinners and messes left throughout the house.
21. Take Note
I had a roommate who would (attempt to) leave unjustified scathing, passive-aggressive notes for just everyone: our apartment neighbors, cars parked outside, and even our landlady. The kind of notes with overly-polite language, underlines, and randomly capitalized words. Always written in red marker. It was bad, but that's not the part I hated. They always signed the notes...from both of us.
I spent that year following her around and removing the notes as quickly and quietly as possible.
22. Dye Hard
She called an ambulance on our other roommate in the middle of the night because she thought our roommate was cutting.
Her evidence: there were red spots on a towel.
What actually happened: our roommate dyed her hair red. Which she showed off the day before to everyone.
She didn't even tell anyone what she found. She just assumed the worst and called the authorities.
23. The Lion Sleeps Tonight
I had a roommate in college who could only fall asleep if he watched Disney movies at night. I had to listen to them every night for hours trying to sleep. And I now hate The Lion King with the passion of a thousand burning suns.
24. A Little Too Clean?
A friend of mine needed a roommate in a house where he already held a lease. I moved in and paid him rent instead of adding my name to the lease. I lived there for about three months and it was great. He was always cleaning, literally always. It seemed pretty great—until I came home from work one day. There was a pink note stuck to the front door that said we were being evicted because we hadn't paid rent in three months.
That's when I discovered the shocking truth: Turns out that cleaning was what he liked to do...while high on crystal. It all worked out though. I talked with the landlady and she kicked him out and I took over the lease.
25. Sleep Tight
The worst story I have is just really creepy. She was a great roommate but I couldn't sleep right for a month after.
So it's literally the first night we are sleeping in the same room, so things are already a little awkward since we only know each other's names. But night falls and we go to sleep. I wake up to the sound of her yelling "NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and then she flings all of her blankets off of her bed and onto the floor. At this point, I'm freaked out so I ask if she's okay and she doesn't reply. Then it got even more terrifying:
Instead she sits up and looks around, sees the window, and kind of whispers "not the window”... then she stands up and walks to the window. At this point, I realize she must be sleepwalking, or crazy. She gets to the window, grabs the lock with both hands and is locking and unlocking the window over and over again while whispering to herself. She never opened it, but after about 3 minutes of that she lets go and says "that'll do".
Then she started walking back to her bed, but when she was passing by my bed she stopped and turned to face me. Then she just stood there asleep (I hope) staring at me for a good 2 minutes. Then she started whispering to herself again, walked past her bed to the door, dragged her hand down the middle of it, turned around and walked to her bed, and went back to sleep.
I was terrified, but I never told her about it. She never did it again.
26. A Strange Obsession
I spent a year living with a girl who was OBSESSED with this cricket player, Jacques Kallis.
She was someone who slept with his photo under her pillow…Okay that’s not too bad. Well, just you wait...
Whenever girls talked about their crushes she would start rambling about Jacques Kallis… Okay so she had feelings for him.
If Jacques Kallis was playing a game she would drop classes, sit in the room and pray for his century… Well that’s a tad too much!
She had a scrapbook with his cut-outs and articles. She would often talk to it… Now this was a bit out of hand.
Once Jacques Kallis failed to complete his century and she went missing. After an hour of searching in the hostel she was found in a dark corner under the stairs sobbing and inconsolable.
When she heard about her aunt passing away she understood that it’s a part of life. When Jacques Kallis lost his father she locked herself in the room and didn't eat.
When the clock struck midnight on her birthday, we were requested to hold off and let Jacques Kallis wish her happy birthday first.
She must have been very disappointed in me as I'd never heard his name before she told me about him when we met. However, with her expert refresher course, not only did I know about him, I knew his sister's and girlfriend's names and other irrelevant details.
I guess one year was enough for me. So she moved in with a more motherly girl the next year and I with a more practical one.
27. Not So Fearless After All
My friend pulled a crazy prank on his roommate. He was studying in Delhi, living in a hostel. There were 3 roommates. One of them used to brag about how fearless he was. Eventually, my friend got sick of it—and he came up with a devious plan.
You see, their room had a history. It was said that a student took his own life in that very room. Eventually, my friend got fed up with his roommate's bragging—so he taught him a lesson.
Every night, everyone in the hostel listens to Horror Stories on FM radio. My friend decided to use this as his weapon.
He challenged the fearless boy to listen to Horror Stories with earphones...in the bathroom...with all lights off. Initially, he revolted—but his fearlessness was at stake. He accepted the challenge with one condition: He would take one person into the bathroom with him.
Deal done. Time for preparations.
On challenge day, my friend blocked every single hole or source of light that could enter the bathroom. He even blocked the vents with cardboard and filled the gap in the door with paper bits. Then he put a stool in the middle of the room.
At night time, the main plan was to be executed. They planted a fake human ghost (Hosteller) in the bathroom with his phone and earphones listening to the same FM radio. That boy stood such that he was just behind the stool.
Then the moment finally came. All lights off. Darkness in room, corridor, and bathroom. Fearless boy with his friend entered the bathroom and couldn't spot the implanted ghost. They sat there, in the dark, holding hands. Other hostellers were listening to the same horror story over FM and were outside the bathroom. They were giggling outside and were a little scared about the consequences.
Story started. Many horror moments came and people outside were waiting, hoping for something but no response at all. Our fake ghost was waiting for the perfect moment.
The climax was near. The witch in the story was about to shriek out. That was the point.
The moment the witch screamed, the “ghost” placed his hands on the fearless boy’s shoulders. He screamed louder than anyone has ever screamed before.
All the other hostellers got scared and immediately turned on the lights, opened the door, and rushed to him, assuring him that everything was fine. My friend was crying too, realizing his mistake. The guy suffered from a mini heart attack, and he couldn't calm down.
He was still screaming and crying. Everyone was trying to make him understand that it was a prank, but the damage was done.
He was not fearless anymore. No one slept that night. He was consoled by other hostellers.
28. A Delicate Operation
Back in 2009 I had a roommate I am going to call Kate. She was a nurse at a plastic surgeon's office. She had several issues and was a very convincing pathological liar. I knew this but we had lived for about a year and got along well enough. I just knew not to believe her most of the time.
Anyway, one night I was watching Lost when she came out of her bedroom and said she was going to the store to meet a guy. She was wearing jeans and a hoodie. I was watching TV and didn't think much about it. I just said be careful and let it go. I ended up going to bed around midnight and she hadn't returned home yet. I just assumed she had hooked up with that guy. Not her normal thing, but not unheard of.
Just after I turned off the light, there was a knock on my door. I got up thinking Kate had just lost her keys or something. I went downstairs in just my boxers and T-shirt and when I opened the door there were two uniformed officers standing there. Then the questions started.
Officer: "Who are you" Me: " I am Astelan101. I own this place".
Officer: "Kate told us she owned this place and didn't live with anyone. Is that your cat"?
Me: "Uh, I bought his place in 2006 and have owned that cat since 2004. What is going on"?
Officer: "Kate was hurt tonight and she is at the hospital".
Me: "Oh no! Is she okay"?
Officer: "Can we come in"?
Me: " Uh, yeah. Come in".
Nowadays, I probably wouldn't agree without a search warrant, but things were different around here back then.
They came in and asked where her bedroom was. I pointed it out and one of them went in while the other stayed in the living room with me. The first officer came out of her room and went into her bathroom and was poking around. After they had been there for about half an hour, they finally started telling me what was happening—and I started to panic.
Kate told them that someone had attacked her and sliced open her stomach and then dumped her at the emergency room. After being questioned a bit, she had claimed her date hurt her and had dumped her at the door, but wouldn't tell them who.
At this point there were a total of 6 officers in my condo, going in and out of her room, and I was still in my boxers. I asked if I could go upstairs and put on some pants. They agreed but one of them had to go with me. While up there, he checked my tub, sink, towels, and dirty laundry to see if there was any blood.
After getting dressed and heading downstairs I realized I had acquired 2 more officers and a detective. She told me the story had changed and now Kate was claiming it was a med student from the local University that was trying to become a doctor. He was trying to remove a large scar that went the entire way across her stomach. He had hit something and then left her at the hospital.
The hospital was having fits because they thought a student was practicing surgery. Also at this point, they are carrying stuff out of her room in paper bags. And then I finally get the whole story.
Kate had stolen scalpels, bandaging, packing materials, and medications to perform surgery on herself. She had injected herself with local anesthetics and had taken a handful of barbiturates. She had cut herself open starting just below her ribs on the left side. She decided she didn't like the angle so she packed the wound and tried again a bit lower and more horizontal. She had apparently nicked something that shouldn't be cut and started bleeding. She got dressed and drove herself to the hospital that was about 3 minutes away. She had lied to the hospital staff and officers when they arrived.
The officers hauled out all the supplies she had used along with a ton of meds she had stolen. Nothing that would get you high, just stuff that would enable her to do the surgery. When they left they told me I would have to hire someone to clean up the blood.
At that point, it was 5 am and they left. I had been up since 6 am in the morning before. I drove to the hospital to see her cause I was still in panic mode. I was eventually allowed to see her and she held my hand but wouldn't say anything. They kicked me out around 7 so I went home and showered and came back. At 8 am I was told she didn't want to see me, but I stayed anyway. About an hour later I was told that they were committing her to a local mental hospital.
Not knowing what to do, I went into work. I was there about an hour before my nerves finally broke. I told my boss what had happened and he sent me home. I went to Walmart and picked up some heavy-duty gloves and a large plastic container and went home to do some clean up. I was lucky and almost everything was contained to her comforter. I gathered that up, her sheets, and her...let's call it stomach material...in the box (for the record, I couldn't eat chicken for months). I took it to my parents' place to burn.
Finally making it back home, I laid down on the couch to sleep around 1 pm. At this point, I had been up for 31 hours and 13 of that under stress. Just as I dozed off I got a call from Kate. They were releasing her from the mental hospital and needed me to pick her up at 3. I wasn't happy but I did it. As we were driving home she told me that she had convinced the doctors she had a mental breakdown from body issues, no food, and too many diet pills so they let her go. Given that I had dinner with her that night, a large one at that, it was obvious she had lied to them.
In the following days, Kate mostly stayed on the couch since she had been fired from her job and didn't feel up to going anywhere. I finally kicked her out about three weeks later after she disappeared for two days. I didn't want to deal with it. She left her bed owing me about $800 for back rent. I never talked to her again. I do still have a copy of the incident report.
A few months ago, someone that had known us both asked me about her and I decided to look her up. She didn't have a Facebook profile, but I could see where she was on her third last name. I should have stopped at this point, but curiosity....he third last name led me to a website where I could see she was looking for a hookup while in prison. Her picture was attached to the ad so I knew it was her. She was in prison for credit card fraud, identity theft, resisting arrest, and about four other non-minor charges I can't think of right now.
29. John-versations
I was with my college roommate, John, taking a road trip to upstate NY (approximately 4 hour drive) and I notice that he has a CD-R titled "Conversations with John" on it. So I ask John what that is. He's hesitant but tells me it's a CD he listens to on long road trips. I pop it in and the 1st track starts.
(It's John himself)
"Howdy Cowboy! How's the road ahead"?
I turned it right off and we never spoke of it again.
30. Clowning Around
My gay roommate's boyfriend had a creepy, creepy clown mask that he left at our place. One night I fell asleep early, he came into my room wearing the mask and wiggled my toe until I woke up.
31. Prank Wars
My roommates and I had slightly strange relationships. I think the occasional issues were due to the fact that I've only lived with people who I've already been close friends with, which a lot of people will tell you is a big mistake. Perhaps the fact that I am an only child also helps.
We had a fun time 'weirding each other out' as we called it. Our senses of humor loved the idea of finding something strange or unexplainable in the house randomly.
Some things I discovered with no explanation:
An orange traffic cone on my bed when I woke up one day.
Extra large ribbed condoms stuffed into my purse so that when I went to the bank they spilled out everywhere in public.
A 20cm huntsman spider locked in my toilet with a sign that said “ha ha”! (that joke was on them, I'm not scared of them and promptly scooped him up and deposited him in the downstairs bathroom before locking the door to mine).
My revenge pranks:
A cheap blowup doll lovingly tucked up in my roommate's bed, perfectly timed so that the real estate agent would see it while he was showing her a problem with his air conditioner.
A large bush turkey locked in the house.
My roommate’s room filled entirely with balloons from floor to ceiling so that they spilled out when the door was opened.
Roommate’s car completely wrapped in plastic wrap 'because it was raining'
Having my roommates return home after a night drinking and getting stoned to find all the lights turned out and fake caution tape wrapped around the entrances to the house. (I didn't realize they were stoned and paranoid. I have never seen someone run that fast or clumsily).
32. Butter Things To Do
While my actual roommate was abroad for a semester his brother lived with me. Something that I noticed was that he bought a lot of butter. A lot! We always had around 3-4 pieces in the fridge and it was not always the same few pieces, but he always bought new ones. One time I asked him what he did with so much butter.
He denied that it was his (which is super strange because we are the only two people living there and none of my friends brought the butter and he never had friends over). When he moved out the butter disappeared too. To this day I don’t know wtf he needed that for and I think I don’t even wanna know
33. The Last Straw
This happened when I was in college. I roomed with a guy who was awkward AF. Chinese guy, polite but awkward. He wanted me to help him learn English. That’s cool, I thought...I really tried to reach him the customs...he never got it, no problem. He would get milk cartons and leave them on the heater, ok whatever...he would order a pizza, eat one piece and squirrel the rest under the bed for a week, gross.
Caught him standing over me while I slept...we talked. Last straw was hearing him pleasure himself...I mean, he wasn’t even trying to conceal it...that was it. He had to go and he did.
34. Good Bye-Day
I had a roommate that likely thought he was literally the second coming of Christ. He only ate foods described in the Old Testament, so lots of dates and olives.
The week leading up to Easter he took down all of the art in the house and put it in my room because he felt it was a form of following a false prophet. He then burned a bonfire in the backyard where he threw in dolls or whatever. Lots of melted plastic on my lawn.
He filled his bathtub with water and god knows what else, but it stunk and looked disgusting. I still don't know what he was doing with the tub.
Finally, on Good Friday I saw him walking around the neighborhood wearing all white robes with a crown of thorns around his head (he also had long brown hair).
I kicked him out.
35. Trash Can Ban
Back in college, I had a roommate ban us from keeping a trashcan in the kitchen.
We'd had a rather juicy round of trash so a little dripped from the bag on carpet going from the kitchen to the dumpster (you had to walk through the living room, weird layout). Because his dad owned the townhouse we lived in he freaked and insisted we keep the trash can on the back porch (again, across the living room). He hadn't factored in the fact that his 2 other roommates actually cooked things from scratch. After 2 weeks of a disgusting string of mess forming on the carpet and a steam cleaner rental he calmed down and put the trashcan back in the kitchen. I think it was the paper towels with sopped-up blood (from butchery, not a wound) that finally did it.
36. Robe Up!
I had a roommate during school. He was a hyper-masculine, frat boy type. Very loud and obnoxious and kind of aggressive in that way. One day I come home late from school and find all the lights off and approximately 30 individual candles lighting the darkened living room. He is sitting there wearing only a robe and holding a glass of red wine. I ask him what's up, kind of laughing and thinking a girl is coming over, and he looks at me like I'm an idiot and goes "Dude, the bachelor starts tonight. Get your robe"! I did not know this was a thing.
37. Orange You Glad?
My freshman year of college. I was laying in bed and my roommate walked in from the diner at approximately 9 pm and went "parks_and_rek how do you eat an orange"? I sit up and told him to peel it and then eat the inside. This man says “oh I thought it tasted funny” and is holding an orange with a bite out of the side as if he was eating an apple.
However in a power move this man then continues to just eat the orange as an apple and refuses to peel it.
38. Rinse And Repeat
I lived in a big house with lots of other guys in college. One dude would open the second-floor window every morning, pour a decent amount of cheerios or other cereal out onto our first-floor patio for the birds, and then pee out the same window all over the food—and then repeat most mornings.
39. The Bathroom’s Dog-upied
My roommate was a sleepwalker. One time he went to go to the bathroom in his sleep, saw the dog was in there, apologized, and then shut the door on the dog and peed on the door.
40. Kentucky Fried Salmonella
One day I saw some Kentucky Fried Chicken thighs in the cupboard. When I asked him about it he said you only had to refrigerate dark meat.
41. That’s Captain Jack To You
My roommate played, without notice, on full blast, the Pirates of The Caribbean theme. He ran through the house yelling "Come along laddies the sea calls for us"! He wouldn't reply to us unless we referred to him as Captain Jack Sparrow. I found out later that day he binged the franchise the night before. I didn't mind too much though since I love that song and was happy to hear it.
42. Trash Tetris
Rather than empty the small trash can in the kitchen, my roommate and her live-in-boyfriend started stacking trash like it was a game of Tetris. Imagine coming home to eggshells and watermelon rinds all over the floor. Factor in the summer heat (they always kept the kitchen windows open), and there was always an infestation of fruit flies and larvae. How could they live like that??!!!
43. Office Hours
My former roommates have been watching The Office, start to finish, for years.
No no no, you don't understand. Not "they watch it a lot." Not "it's the show of preference."
I mean they've been watching it sequentially, every day, since approximately 2007. Every. Day.
44. Carrot Bottom
I had a roommate who was obsessed with her health. The only problem was the things she tried were usually outrageous and never in moderation. It was pretty common for her to eat the same food over and over again. I didn't start to get too concerned until her hands and feet turned deep orange from the insane amounts of carrots she had been consuming.
45. Ask Me Nicely
My roommate in Army Training claimed for the whole time we lived together that he didn't have headphones, and never bought any. He watched anime at full volume while I was trying to sleep.
When I was helping him move out, he had a pair hanging in his locker. When I asked why he'd never used them, he said "Because you never asked politely".
46. Cereal Killer
I once walked in on my roommate pouring a bowl of cereal. We didn't have milk, so instead she used DR. PEPPER.
47. Not Part Of The Deal
I learned very quickly after moving in with my best friend that he and I would get along just fine living together if it was just us. But it wasn't just us.
His girlfriend at the time was not part of the original deal. I was not aware that by signing up to live with him, about a month in she would essentially be moving in with us as well, and start acting like she owned the place.
She would let herself in/out with her key, but refuse to lock the door, even though it was an agreed-upon rule that when entering/leaving the door was kept locked. It was a student building, and the appt below us was constantly coming home lit and mistaking what floor they were on. More than once they tried to force their way into our apartment. After I moved out, she finally paid the price: Eventually, they got broken into, and a couple laptops, an expensive camera, and some game systems were taken.
We had a dishwasher. I would often come home, clean up all the stuff that’d been dumped in the sink (3 feet from said dishwasher), head into my bedroom, hear her leave his room, and seconds later hear a crashing and banging as she dumped her dirty dishes in the sink and walk away.
She would take other peoples’ food from the fridge, make things out of it, and then shrug and indicate “Oh, well you can have some of my food” when called on it. Um, that was my food, you’re a thief and that casserole is now mine.
Wandering around the apartment in a general state of undress. She was cute, but I definitely caught sight of way more than I’m sure her boyfriend would want me to see.
Speaking of which, guess how quiet they weren’t when they decided to get intimate? At 2 am. On a work night. Seriously, buy a gag!
Given that she had the run of the apartment, the fact that she never contributed in a financial sense once was also a problem. There were three of us sharing the "shared space." Yes, she was in his bedroom each night, but I still had to work around her, and she had a footprint in terms of the shared utilities. She should’ve been contributing to the rent equally. No cash came my way, and my real roommate was obviously compensated in other ways.
There were a bunch more stupid things done before they broke up, but I moved out at that point. Friendship took a bit of a hit, but we patched things up quickly after they broke up.
48. Dishing It Out
My old roommate from college was a complete nightmare. She claimed she didn’t know how to load a dishwasher and would put cups and bowls facing up so they were filled with dirty water when the cycle was over. She’d take my candles, lighters, and other small things and lie about it even though she’d let me go into her room to borrow things and I’d see them and take them back. She also hoarded dirty silverware and plates in her room and a ton of them grew mold. It got to the point where she’d throw out kitchenware that I bought so she wouldn’t have to put it in the sink or dishwasher. Absolutely unreal.
49. BronyFans
I had a flatmate (sorry, British) that was a Brony. For the lucky people who have not come across a Brony in the wild, it's basically a grown man who is into My Little Pony.
He would carry around a sizeable teddy version of a pony and told us she was "helping" him with the cooking when he was in the kitchen. He also paid a lot of money for a rainbow pony birthday cake for himself and he attended the MLP annual convention.
However, it was his fanfic artwork that scared the bejeezus out of me. The only way I can describe it is pony erotica. I still have nightmares.
50. Unique Gastronomy
She was boiling rags in bleach water on the stove.
I’m no chemist, but I’m pretty sure that’s how you make chlorine gas.
She was... special.
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