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How The Mighty Fall: Bullies Get What’s Coming To Them

Penelope Singh

Bullies are one of the worst parts of growing up, and sadly, they don’t just go away after high school. In fact, they tend to get worse after graduation. From early tales of childhood jerks to rude customers to power-hungry coworkers from adulthood, these Redditors shared their outrageous stories about getting bullied—and sometimes, striking back. These stories are proof that it’s mighty satisfying when bullies get what’s coming to them.    


1. Someone Wants a Knuckle Sandwich

I was riding the bus home from school one day. Bunch of jerks messing around in the back, throwing food and other junk. A quiet, overweight kid sat in front of them, minding his own business when one of the jerks thought it would be funny to shove an old sandwich in his face and call him fat boy. The quiet kid stood up and knocked him out in a single hit.

Then he grabbed his bag and walked up to the front of the bus and got off at his stop as if nothing happened.

TFKGreySlate

2. With Great Age Comes Great Flexing

My greatest moment was watching my 72-year-old father beat the pee out of a guy who tried to steal my mom’s purse.

TaloneyeMan

3. Revenge Burns Carbs

In seventh grade, my friend was self-conscious about his weight. One day at lunch, I was watching him and another friend chasing each other. The one friend said, “You can’t catch me fatty!” And the next thing I knew, there was a loud SMACK and the kid was on the grass with a bloody nose.

Qwertyuiopslad

4. Deadly Valor

I was jumped in a Kroger parking lot late at night while I was on my way to my car. I only had one bag. But there was one thing they couldn’t have expected. I had JUST gotten out of basic training for the infantry. All that ground fighting techniques training was fresh still and I ended up breaking him with a straight arm bar. I ran like a wiener, leaving him there screaming.

Then I drove to a gas station and called the cops.

TehRealBabadook

5. Nothing Like the New Year for a New You

There was this guy who was part of our group in college. He was a jerk, but he was my friend’s brother, so he hung out with us a lot. Whenever he would get drunk, he would try to pick fights. We would just shake it off and ignore him. One of the guys hosted a pretty big NYE party. As it goes, this dude got drunk and tried to pick fights again.

People were getting uncomfortable. There was one guy at the party who was about 6’4” tall and built like a tank who was just not having it. He waited to be confronted and then immediately carried the guy outside and threw him down on a stair and broke his leg. He stopped picking fights after that.

PhreedomPhighter

6.  Not Every Story is David and Goliath

Jerk bully screwed with a younger kid in high school who was super nice and a really good friend of mine. I didn’t like it, so I got in the bully’s face and told him I’d kick his butt. Well, we went at it and I absolutely got the snot kicked out of me. Guy knew judo or something. Yeah, I messed with the wrong person. That said, I’d do it again.

usernamesarehard1979

7. Violence is the Universal Language

So, in my university, people hazed freshmen in all kinds of crazy ways. It was out of control for a period. Then one of the freshmen was a quiet, small, constantly smiling guy who was from a rural area on the India-China border, from a village where they had only three hours of electricity a day. He didn’t speak much English or Hindi.

One of the seniors targeted him and slapped him or something. Guy took it all smilingly. Then in the dead of the night, he waited till when the senior was all alone outside. Then dragged him into the woods and beat the snot out of him. No one messed with him after that.

sensitiveinfomax

8. To the Drum of the Beating

There was this guy who played drums all the time in Hawaii on the city strip. Nice guy; never chatted much except for a wave and to throw him a few dollars. Some drunk tourist decided it would be fun to mess with his drums. Guy gave him so many chances to walk away. Drunk tourist winds up for a punch, and the dude just knocked him out in one punch.

I just stood there, and my buddy had the presence of mind to tell the guy to pack his stuff and leave before the cops come. Guy was pretty messed up, and we helped him till the ambulance came. I’m pretty sure with the way that his jaw looked, it wouldn’t be a short recovery.

Fallout541

9. Free Speech Doesn’t Protect You from an Avenging Parent

This guy—well, his subcontractors—does a lot of work for my local smallish city/county, totaling about $5 million worth of work last year. He has an autistic son and is a pretty nice, if super cheap, guy. This other subcontractor was kind of a piece of trash, was one of those “I’ll say whatever I want, ‘cause free speech.” Well, on his second or third job, the boss stops by to check on stuff and drop off some materials.

The sub starts running his mouth about stupid stuff, and eventually starts telling “retard” jokes. The boss says, “You know I have an autistic son, right?” This was his perfect response: “Yup, I did, sorry about your crummy luck.” Well, the boss got his revenge. Dude hasn’t done a single job for the city since, no other contractors will even toss him some work.

Pretty sure his business is going under. He did trash work anyways.

CappuccinoBoy

10. Stick Out for the Little Guy

I went to my community college for my BTEC (that’s a bit like an Associate’s Degree) and there were a few mature students in my class. There was one guy named Dave. Dave was the kind of guy that was so big he loomed. He was also a super nice guy, and I helped him out with his coursework because he was trying to get into the IT industry.

Well, at the time I was this skinny runt of a 17-year-old, and one day I’m minding my own business and some other student starts trying to push me around. All of a sudden, a shadow appears between the two of us. Dave just taps him on the shoulder: “No, you don’t touch him. He’s my friend. You understand?” I never had any trouble again.

Gotta say, every skinny nerd needs a friend like Dave.

zerbey

11. Face the Facts

In fifth grade, this dude who always picked on me was kicking my seat in an assembly, and I was having a terrible week, and this was my last straw. I turned and punched him in the face, but I wasn’t satisfied with the first punch because it felt weak. I figured I’m already going to be in trouble, so I went back for a second, better punch—one that felt worth getting in trouble over.

The funny part? The assembly was about not using violence to solve problems.

BigBacon31

12. Don’t Become an Example to Your Fiendish Friends

I was being bullied for like a month when I was 13 or 14. Some guy from my class started messing with me (pushing, hair grabbing, neck slapping, stuff like that), and I didn’t know how to handle it. One of his friends from another class, a guy I had never spoken to before, tried it once and I instinctively punched him in the face. The bullying stopped.

If that random guy didn’t do what he did, I don’t know how I would have put an end to it, to be honest.

I_hate_traveling

13. Some Actions Won’t Be Lost in Translation

My bully decided to sit next to me in class, repeatedly whispered insults to me, so at one point I snapped, took his head, and bashed it into the desk. I think I would have been in deep trouble had his textbook not been there. Needless to say, I got kicked out of that class and had to change English classes.

Rubdub_Jubjub

14. Understand That I’m a Gentleman

For context, I’m 6’5” tall and have been since high school. There was a girl I was friends with who had a boyfriend. There was nothing going on between us, but her boyfriend was older and used to call me names and throw stuff at me in the halls. I’m not a particularly confrontational person, so I let it go on like that for a while.

There was a day when he knocked my books out of my hand and I had had enough. He wasn’t nearly as big as I was, so I picked him up by his shirt and slammed him against a locker. The bullying stopped.

rebel_scummm

15. School Drools, Mom Rules

I was 7 and I was a nice kid with average grades. This one bully was taller than me. He was like any typical bully. He’d trip me or push my head for no apparent reason. I was getting so annoyed that I felt a red heat rise up all over my body. I looked at him and told him to stop. He pushed me to the ground. I stopped and punched his nose with all my force.

His nose started to bleed, and I was sent to the office. I thought my mom would be furious, but I was so wrong. Since the bully had started it, she pretended that she was mad at me at school, but when we went home she said “Congrats.”

Waterrrisgood

16. Get a Kick Out of That

A group of boys thought it was hilarious to keep our football and stop us from getting it back after it rolled towards them on the school field. They kept passing it between themselves and picking it up and trying to keep it away from us. After trying for about a minute to get the ball from them by running after it, one of them picked the ball up and kept moving it away trying to keep it out of my reach.

I took a few steps back, no longer interested in trying to not hurt them and did a “goal kick” on the ball. I kicked his hand in the process and the ball smacked him in the face and gave him a bloody nose. He didn’t even try to react: he just turned and walked away with his tail between his legs.

gianthooverpig

17. Treat Me Like a Gentleman or Get Treated Like a Dog

The bully would always grab my butt or slap my neck, say rude things about my nationality, and insult me. I often told him to stop, but he never did. For a year and a half. Once, in a lecture, he came to my desk and grabbed my butt. I had a really bad day that day too. The moment he grabbed my butt, I saw RED. I was MAD.

I stood up and looked him in the eye. I still can’t believe what I did next. I took his head and SMASHED it against the wall with all I had. Nothing serious happened to him. Except for the teacher got mad at him for bothering me. I was a quiet and good-hearted kid, and the teacher knew that.

GolD-Beard

18. I’m Not the One Who Need Protection

In middle school, we were hanging around before classes started, and this guy who used to be my friend came up behind me and put a condom in my mouth. I turned around, pushed him up against the wall, and punched him in the face. The whole school heard about it and they were all backing me up for the rest of the day. I didn’t even get in trouble.

He was super embarrassed and tried to negotiate with me saying, “You have to let me punch you back to make up for it,” or save his honor or some bull. People would not stop teasing him about it. I think that when the teachers heard about it, they thought it was funny and I had a good rep with them, so they let it slide.

OLD_JAMON

19. Put Your Fists Where Your Mouth Is

When I was 12, a kid on my block constantly challenged me to fight him because he knew I didn’t want to, so it was a great way for this chubby, incompetent brat to show off.  One day, outside the convenience store, to his surprise I accepted. He came towards me and I basically just lifted up my leg and “kicked him” in the stomach.

Honestly, he just bounced off my foot. In shock, he came at me again. This repeated about 3 times as the expression of disbelief on his face became more pathetically pronounced. He finally gave up and ran home past my house, telling my mother who happened to be outside that I beat him up. But she already knew about his behavior towards me so as soon as I explained what happened it was all good.

He wasn’t actually hurt physically, just emotionally. We both learned a good lesson that day, and he actually grew up to be a decent guy from what I could tell.

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20. What’s the Price of Loyalty These Days

The psycho camp director lost her mind on all of the lifeguards because we said we weren’t coming back next summer. The reality was, we all had legit reasons. I was going to take summer courses to graduate early, another guard was moving to university and was going to work in that city, another guard got offered a head guard spot at a camp near her house, etc.

Nothing that said we hated the current camp, just other things going on. We were told in a group meeting if we weren’t happy there, we could leave, and she would find other guards. Following Friday, she calls us all in to tell us what a great job we are doing and how happy everyone is going to the lake. Tuesday after that she calls us in individually to tell us we aren’t working hard enough, and she sees us slacking off all the time.

Lunchtime Tuesday all the guards walked into her office, told her to go screw herself in front of the owner of the camp, and we all piled into my Ford Focus and went for a beer. Went home that night to message from the camp owner asking us to give him a callback (we all chatted and realized he had called all of us). Called him the following day, told him what went down.

He asked us to reconsider and that he would give us a $5 an hour raise and report directly to him. We discussed it and agreed on the condition that the psycho director apologized to us at a collective staff meeting. She refused and had a tantrum. The camp owner fired her on the spot, escorted her off the property and we opened the lake back up. Screw you, Barb.

Morningdeuce_oTQ

21. He Said, He Said, Moms Said

It was fifth grade. I can’t remember what specifically caused me to snap, but after spending the last five years being continually harassed, bullied, and assaulted by a specific boy I’d had enough. I calmly walked to the mounted pencil sharpener at the back of the class and sharpened my pencil to a very fine tip. Then, I walked behind said bully, and in a downward motion slashed him across the entirety of his back in one fluid motion.

Obviously, I got a truckload of trouble for what I did. The principal insinuated to my mother that the parents of the other boy may want to press charges for my harming of their pride-and-joy. My mother, bless her heart, retorted back, “If that’s the case, perhaps I should press charges considering how often my son has been coming home with cuts, bruises, and welts administered at their boy’s hands without repercussions from your staff.”

The principal moonwalked out of that conversation so freaking fast. I still was read the riot-act at home, though. Got drilled into me that what I did was use a weapon to harm someone, and that it would never be tolerated at any level. Grounded for a very, very long time. Bully gave me space, for a while anyway. He went back to his usual torment after a couple of weeks—minus any physical contact.

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22. What Are They Teaching in Special Ed?

Seventh grade, the new kid in school, I forgot his name, but he looked like the jerk from 10 Things I Hate About You. He gets egged on to fight the special education kid, we’ll call him Kendal. Sweet kid, Down syndrome, took a long time for him to agree to meet the jerk behind the band hall. He does, the jerk dances in, in front of half the student body, and gets deflected and destroyed.

Every punch he threw turned into a throw or a joint lock. He got tossed and pushed away four times, before on the fifth time, Kendal locks him up again, turns him around and then punts his family jewels into his throat.

Paladoc

Favourite High School Movies facts

23. This Love Triangle Just Got Folded

I was in a Canadian bar. I hit on some chick, and she was digging me, but the guy that thought she was there with him wasn’t enjoying the idea she was ditching him in order to go home with me. He told me to go away and she told me he was just obsessed with her and they were nothing. He warned me I was messing with the wrong guy.

Anyway, she and I were dancing and then the dude comes out of nowhere and tries to hit me. I was holding her at the time and the dude ended up knocking her out in my arms. Security saw the whole thing and jumped the guy. I just walked off back to the hotel alone.

Pacenak

24. Gotta Hand It to Him

Me, drunk as heck on a party bus for my cousin’s 21st. Being a complete clown because I was letting my brother, who had issues with someone, get me worked up with his drama. I got in a huge brawl outside of one of the stops and decided to take a shot at one of the guys I didn’t like. Hit him with everything I had. I mean EVERYTHING! It totally backfired.

I literally broke my freaking hand on his face. He got up, looked at me, and calmly said: “You just messed up.” He was right.

Fuct1492

25. Size Does Matter

Scrappy chihuahua man road rages at me. I flip him off and pull into the grocery store parking lot. I needed to get formula for my daughter. He followed me. Oh dear. He yells, “Get out of the car, I’m gonna kick your butt!” Okay. I’m 6’5″ tall, bald, bearded, and since I lost weight and started lifting, I’ve been mistaken for similar-looking NFL defensive linemen.

I got out of my bright green Volkswagen Beetle, crossed my arms, and looked straight at him for about 10 seconds before he got back in his crummy little Honda and peeled out of the parking lot. Good thing too, I don’t know how to fight.

LegendOfSchellda

26. Should Have Just Taken the Zilch

Yuppy frat boy in an econ course I was taking my freshman year got caught cheating. At my university, we all sign a contract agreeing to their honor code policies, and cheating is an automatic expulsion. But, the professor decided to be nice, and was just going to give the kid a zero on the exam. Frat kid still thinks that’s too harsh, and it turns into an argument.

The kid starts saying how “in” his family is at the university, and how none of this matters because he’ll just “pull some strings.” Long story short, our professor is actually close friends with the chancellor of our school. Not only did the kid get expelled from the school, but they somehow got him into legal trouble as well for some of the comments made in class that day.

I don’t know what was said that could have been used against him, but the kid ended up in some deep trouble.

lineman77

27. Born to the Shield

I didn’t witness it, but when I worked for AT&T a gentleman and his wife came in because his son’s iPhone 6 was bent. So, they wanted to get him a new phone. How did it get bent? Some turd held the boy up while he was walking home from school, taking his money and his phone. Both of his parents were retired police officers, and his father trained SWAT tactics and hand-to-hand combat.

The son went home empty-handed and was initially scared to tell his parents, because the thief told the boy he knew where he lived and threatened him. His parents eventually got him to tell them what happened. The thief was hanging out at a laundromat near their home when the robbery took place. The dad called his cop buddies, who immediately rolled up to the laundromat along with the dad where they apprehended the guy who still had the phone in his pocket.

It got bent during the ensuing scuffle. Dude stole from the wrong kid. The kid was very polite and kind while in the store. He seemed pretty shook up. I was glad for him that his dad had his back.

jennifershhh

28. Someone Just Got Schooled

My first week at a white-collar job (my first such job), and we were in the middle of a department-wide meeting—about 17 coworkers and supervisors altogether. The person leading the meeting asks a question of no one in particular, and several of us answer. My answer differed from the rest. One guy turns to me and says: “Let’s leave these questions to the people who actually have a master’s degree, shall we?”

I looked at him and said: “I have a master’s degree.” The room went silent, except for one guy who loudly oohed. I had given the correct answer, to top it off.

-basedonatruestory-

29. Putting Your Money Where You Mouth Was

Friend of my brother’s was this big dude. About 6’3″ tall and maybe 275lbs. Anyway, I always thought he was awesome, but he had been known to drink and act the fool. One night he comes over with a mouth full of stitches. He’s all embarrassed and my brother is busting up. Turns out he got bumped at the bar, something innocuous, and gets in this guy’s face.

To hear my brother tell it this dude was like a lean 5’9″ tall and I guess he tried to talk my buddy down like a champ, but like I said, drunk jerk. Anyway, this guy had enough eventually and kicked my buddy right in the mouth from about a foot away. Busted him wide open, and he did about what you’d expect…whined and bled.

Turns out the other guy was a champion kickboxer. This was the early nineties when martial artists weren’t a dime a dozen. He felt so bad about what he’d done he tried to drive my buddy to the ER.

elhoffgrande

30. The Vet Guts Another Animal

My grandpa was a Vietnam vet, really nice guy—kind of your typical portly boomer type. Well, one day we were at the mall, and on the way back to the car some frat douche-looking guy was walking along singing a dirty song comprised mostly of profanity. My grandpa told him “Hey, there are kids around here, watch your mouth.”

Guy sizes up my grandpa, sees he’s kind of old and has a belly, and decides he’s going to prove to his two buddies how tough he is by going up against an old man. He flexes his cutoff sleeved arms, juts his barbed wire tribal neck tattoo chin out, and kind of tries to chest bump my grandpa. My grandpa suddenly is in this perfect boxer’s stance and just rocks this guy in the gut.

Frat dude goes down on his knees winded, and my grandpa says, “I said watch yer mouth, boy.” The guy starts to get up and say “Screw you,” but my grandpa puts a left hook into his face and a right punch into his neck under his ear, and the dude goes down spread eagle and out cold. My grandpa steps over him walking towards his two buddies, who book it.

We got in the car and he made me promise not to tell my mom.

Vict0r117

31. You Can Eat My Hat

I was working the drive-thru at a kick during the lunch rush. A woman came through with all of her coworker’s orders. She wanted me to take them one at a time. So. Ring up nine separate orders for one car while my line backs up out of the lot. I explained to her numerous times she’d have to come inside or place it as one order and do the math herself when she got back to her work.

She spent five minutes straight calling me things that would make Tarantino blush, then pulled around to the window, and threw trash from her car at me as she left. This wasn’t my moment though. The next day I get to work, and the general manager is there. He gives me two options. I ride with him to her work and apologize to her in front of her co-workers, or I am fired.

He didn’t ask for my side of the story. It didn’t matter my manager told me to not take her order. It didn’t matter how abusive she was. She called and I was going to apologize. We get there and the smug look on her face broke something inside me. I flipped her off, tossed my hat at him, told them to kiss my butt, and went home.

Not even two weeks later, the location went franchise and the manager they kept, (the one who told me to refuse the woman), hired me back. Within a few months, I was promoted to a shift supervisor and I was able to send the woman who got me fired a letter of disinvite explaining that she wasn’t welcome back on the property and if they come back it will be considered trespassing.

ECAstu

32. Hulk Smash!

When I was on vacation in Sharm El Sheikh (Egypt) I saw a Russian girl carrying her own food in the beach, where you can’t—very stupid rules. So, one man from that beach staff tried to take her food from her. She didn’t want her food to be taken from her and tried to rip it out of his hands. So, that man hit her in the face so hard that her glasses shattered.

Unfortunately for that man, the girl’s boyfriend noticed the interaction. He was like Hulk, but not green. Hulk punched that guy so hard that he immediately lost his consciousness and dropped on the sand. After 10 seconds, two of the almost-dead guy’s friends came to beat that Russian Hulk, but with no luck. One had his face smashed into the table and other was hit with a Hulk smash in the stomach.

MYCOOLNEJM

33. The Mild Face of Justice

My wife and I were at a punk show at a small venue downtown. It was kind of a weird lineup. There was a gutter punk band, a street punk band, and an Irish folk/punk band playing. Kind of a strange mix of people. Anyway, we’re outside while I was smoking and watched as four gutter punk kids step out the door and spit right in the face of this slightly overweight Irish guy who was just minding his own business.

He shouts something like “What the heck!” and the gutter punks surround him. People could see this was going to be bad, so the crowd starts to step in to intercede when the Irish guy puts his fists up like he’s a boxer from 1900. It looked almost ridiculous and I thought for sure this guy was going to have a bad night. Nope.

He lashed out and dropped one of the gutter punks in one hit before they closed on him. One of the remaining three got a solid punch into his face, bloodying his nose. The Irish guy returned the favor with a wicked punch to the stomach that dropped the kid to his knees. The remaining two jerks tried to grapple with the guy and one of them got thrown through the plate glass window to the venue.

Police showed up and after questioning people in the crowd they arrested the four punks who started it and let the Irish guy go. The venue even let him back in despite the broken window. The whole fight lasted maybe five or 10 seconds. This kind of short slightly overweight guy showed me what a bad idea it can be to judge a book by its cover.

Tracerface

34. Every Beating is a Friend You Haven’t Made Yet

I was 14 and at a summer camp. There was this Russian kid who attended who had lived here for a year with family to go to school. Since he was a foreigner, I immediately singled him out and started picking on him. This went on for about two weeks with me mocking him in Russian accent, making jokes about Russians and generally just being a little freaking jerk.

Then one day he had enough. He picked a fight with me and I’d thought I would have easily one since I had almost a foot on the guy. Nope. I go in for a punch and he ducks, grabs my arm and throws me over him onto the ground. Breaking my arm in the process. I started crying. I was then taken to the hospital. I went back to camp and I was forced to apologize to the kid, and I did.

We ended up being friends and he tells me that his dad runs a jiu-jitsu gym in St. Petersburg, and is a former Spetsnaz soldier. He wasn’t the kind to boast so I believed him. He told me his dad trained him in jiu-jitsu for most of his life. That day I learned you probably shouldn’t mess with strangers because you have no idea what they are capable of.

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35. Don’t Mess With the Hands of Fate

We had a vendor who showed up once a week and was a bit of a hand masher. Liked to crush your knuckles while shaking your hand. The boss had just hired a doughy-looking, middle-aged guy for the sales department. I told him to be wary of shaking the vendor’s hand. A few days later the vendor shows up, puts his hand out to the new guy with a big smile, and goes in for the kill.

At first, everyone is smiling. The new guy is looking him in the eye while pumping his hand furiously. Then stops. The smile melts off the vendor’s face. He had a pained look on his face as his lips pursed together. The vendor yelped a long “Eeeeyah!” and dropped the new guy’s hand like it was lava. Pulled the new guy aside and asked how he did that.

“Ten years I drove a tow truck. Must have changed thousands of flat tires with just hand tools. Nobody crushes my hand.”

1Badshot

36. Queen Takes All

At work I had a chess board and would play with various people during lunch. None of us were particularly great or anything; it was just a fun diversion. One day, one of my co-workers came up, an older woman who was always very sweet and quiet, and asked if I wanted to play a game. She destroyed me. Like, it wasn’t even a close game.

Toward the end I would make a move and she would just say, in the sweetest tone possible, “Oh, are you sure you want to make that move?”

KirTakat

37. If You Can’t Handle the Ball, Don’t Bring Yours to Court

As an arrogant 14-year-old, I was at Sky Zone, a recreational place with a lot of trampolines. I was in the dodgeball section and I told a 20-something man that he was “the number one person on my people to get out list.” This man was put on the other team, and he was a very athletic man. He proceeded to hurl these rubber dodgeballs at what seemed like the speed of sound as he eliminated my entire team three games in a row, saving me for last each game.

Every time he got me alone, he hit me in the crotch in front of all my friends. I should not have messed with him.

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38. Chomping at the Bit

During the night, the head doorman at a local club refused entry to a guy for being too drunk and for being involved in an incident at a different nightclub a few weeks prior. The drunk dude began to get all up in the head doorman’s face, threatening to come back with “the boys.” This is usually quite an empty threat—normally a drunk dude gets all angry for a bit and then walks away/moved on by the police. Not this time.

In this instance, the guy walked away and the new bouncer who was covering thought the issue was done. 30 minutes later the drunk guy returns with 15 of his friends, marching down the road “like a scene from Green Street or The Football Factory.” The new bouncer working is watching these guys approach with the head doorman thinking “Shoot! We’re going to be in a spot of trouble here.” He sees the head doorman reach inside his coat pocket. “Holy moly, does he have a weapon or something?! This is going to be bad.”

The head doorman produces a gumshield from his pocket, puts it in his mouth and limbers up his neck and cracks his knuckles all in complete silence and calm. The lads approaching see this and pause, before one shouts, “Nah, screw that mate” and they all scatter.

jacktli

39. Don’t Bring a Geyer to a Gun Fight

When I was younger, my family would go rafting with a couple of other families down a very calm river. People would often bring some kind of squirt guns, and people would try and fire at people in other rafts. Everyone on the river did this. Well, one time we were floating by a very large group—at least 40+ people. They had all their rafts tied together, which were all covered by towels.

We thought, “Oh boy, we should get them! Look at how many people there are! This will be epic!” Mind you, this is 9-year-old mentality. Then, we issued the first strike. This is where things went wrong. They shouted, “I wouldn’t do that!” We had heard this before; an opposing raft issuing mild threats to get us to not fire our Tinker Toys squirt guns.

Hence, we continued. Another warning, “I really wouldn’t do that!” The measly firing ensued. Then aloud, ” You’ve really done it now!” And this is when I thought, “I messed with the wrong person”. Suddenly, the sound of a generator came across the river. The group of 40+ unveiled all of the towels, only to display they had a fire hose.

The pressure from the fire hose was insurmountable and could easily reach the other side of the river. Our entire group was heavily doused in a matter of seconds. Needless to say, the squirt gun game ended quickly.

a_very_nice_lad

40. The Straw that Broke the Biker’s Patience

When I was 20, we were in a DCA drum corps for the summer, on our way to a show in Pennsylvania or something. We had stopped at Wendy’s to eat. While we were there, a group of bikers—obviously part of a club—came in the same Wendy’s to eat. They sat behind us. My friend decided to try to hit me with his straw paper.

His attempt went right past me and hit a biker in the back of the head. We go dead silent, waiting for a reaction. Nothing. We let out a deep sigh of relief and continue eating. As we are heading out the door, my friend decides to use the bathroom. I wait for him on the bus. A few minutes later he comes flying out of the Wendy’s, red-faced and looking terrified.

Apparently, a biker had met him in the bathroom, cornered him and explained “I’m the nice kind of biker, so I’m going to let you off with a warning, but be aware that many bikers would be kicking your butt right now. Get out of here.” That was the end of shooting straw paper.

SigKapEA752

41. Got a Face That’s Hard to Place

When I was young, I was in the Navy. Another guy on our ship, a friend of mine, was rumored to have been a top-notch collegiate wrestler, almost, but not quite good enough to make the Olympic team that didn’t go to Moscow in 1980—yes, I’m old. Anyway, being rather full of myself, and never having seen this guy in any kind of dust-up, I decided to have a go at him.

We were just fooling around, there was no anger involved, just one young tough guy testing another. I goaded him a few times to show me what he had. I was poised, well balanced and ready for him. And then I was on my back looking up at the sky. I wasn’t hurt. I never saw him move. No time had elapsed. One instant I was standing in front of him ready for whatever he did, and the next I was on my back looking up at the sky.

The genius that I was, I figured it had to be a fluke. So, I got up and tried him again. Once again, I never saw him move, didn’t feel a thing. Just one instant I’m in front of him ready to go, and the next I’m on my back looking up at the sky. And once again, no time had elapsed. Well, I am less stupid than I am stubborn, so I admitted that he was better than I was and stayed where I was to contemplate the clouds floating silently by overhead.

Never before, or since, have I ever been so utterly and completely over-matched. That was the day I learned the difference between a good athlete and a world-class athlete.

Adddicus

Messed With The Wrong Person FactsKristina Popovska | Factinate

42. Don’t Mess With Our Parade

We were in the funeral procession on a back road, headed to the cemetery for my uncle’s graveside service. This “jack wagon” in his jerk-mobile comes speeding up a side road, breaks the line, and decides to pass everyone using the left lane. He was a real jerk, and totally disrespectful. When he overtook the hearse, his day took a downturn, as he forced one of the eight motorcycle escorts off the road.

It was at this point he found that there were hundreds of police cars following behind the family. My uncle was a high-ranking deputy sheriff, and basically, every local police officer, state trooper, and deputies from over 50 counties were attending that funeral. When his car disappeared in the rear-view mirror, he was “gently” being taken into custody and placed into the back of a deputy’s cruiser by several officers.

wizardrc

43. Get Off My Lawn, Youngsters

One night my dad had his garage broken into by some kids. We were in there working at some designs for the ducts of a house being built when some kid knocks on the door of the garage. We go out to help the one kid, whom we assumed was alone at the time, on the other side of the house from our detached garage. Dad goes around to the garage to get his set to help out and finds a different kid walking out with his 40oz. bottle of booze.

That kid got laid flat pretty quickly. I heard this interaction and shuffled my way over, abandoning the kid on the side of the house facing the big street (we’re on the corner). I see the out-cold kid on the ground in front of the garage door with the bottle and know something is up. I go back around the house to see if they’re connected and the kid with the bike has taken off down the street on the bike that we were really just going to fix the brakes on.

Knowing that kid 1 was gone, and figuring there was two at this point, Dad heads into the house—again the garage is detached but not far—and finds yet another kid fumbling around in the bedroom where his keys were. He comes back out of the house and tells me to make sure they don’t go anyway, both of them are out cold at this point and he is off to chase down the kid on the bike.

He ends up chasing kid 1 in his van down the street near a hardware store and bumps his tire from behind to kill his balance and knock him to the ground in the parking lot. I couldn’t believe my dad took down not one but three kids.

Starthreads

44. It’s the Circle of Life

An IFBB pro bodybuilder was at a nightclub hanging out, and a fight broke out. An angry large man, probably 230 lbs. and over 6 feet tall tried to shove him in the commotion. I watched him pick the guy up like Simba, carry him out on the street, and chuck him onto the sidewalk like he was an old cabbage.

potato_reborn

45. Beware of the Block Parents

I was on vacation a few years ago, and one day I see a man running away from some lady chasing him. Suddenly three guys appear out of nowhere and one of them punches that man in the face. I still remember the sound of that punch. Then one of them started calling the police while the other two were making sure the man doesn’t get up.

Later I found out that the man was a wanted criminal, and he was asking weird questions to children of that lady who was later chasing him.

domcioonline

46. Knight in Crotch-Kicking Armor

I was in a bar in Missouri. It had a nice mix of customers with various backgrounds. College students, city dwellers, country folk, etc. There was a group of white, preppy 20-something guys acting douche. The king of the douches marches up to bar and tries flirting with the bartender. She smiles and listens to him but clearly doesn’t care.

He keeps spewing stupid pickup lines while his friends egg him on. Next to him is a thin black guy drinking a Cosmo. After the last failed pickup line. The thin black guy says, “She really doesn’t give a flying darn about your pickup lines, she’s just doing her job.” King Douche doesn’t like that, starts talking smack about the black guy.

Very immature stupid stuff. The thin black guy keeps his cool, sipping his Cosmo. King Douche calls him a name for drinking a Cosmo, continues on an offensive rant. Thin black guy finishes his drink and turns to King Douche, who says, “What you gonna do fa-” Thin black guy kicks him in the crotch. As he bends down in response to his annihilated testicles,

Thin black guy uppercuts him in the throat. While King Douche fall tries to comprehend what is going on, his friends come up behind him. Thin black guy kicks King Douche into his friends. The bartender tells the flock of douches to get the hell out. They help King Douche to his feet and leave. Thin black guy goes back to the bar to pay for his drink.

The bartender says, “Thanks Marcus.” Marcus replies “No problem, see you later,” then he walked out to his car and drove off. That is the last time I saw Marcus.

Permalink

47. The One Finger Discount

My mom told me this story about my dad about when they were young/newly married. I don’t think an adult could necessarily get away with this in American-helicopter-parent culture these days, but this happened in the late 70s. My dad was a restaurant manager and had to fire a high school kid. He lived in the same neighborhood as my parents and would often see my dad when he and his friends were driving to school.

They would flip my dad off and yell things at him. One day my dad got sick of it all, and drove to their school, found them trying to park, used his car to block them, got out and went up to the kid’s car window and told him, “If you ever flip me off again I’m going to rip that finger off and shove it up your butt.” The kid stopped flipping him off.

TommyPimple

48. No Help From Above

My teacher saw me getting bullied but did nothing, until one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I told her how I was sick and tired of being blamed that it was my fault I had no friends when every single bully told people to avoid me. They invented this thing called the Katie-touch, like the cheese touch but you could get the Katie-touch if you talked to me, and I finished it by telling her that she was stupid and that she didn’t care what happened to her students.

No one backed me up and nothing changed. I got a three-day in-school suspension and the bullying got worse. Kids would take my lunch and shoes, so I did get in trouble for not wearing my indoor shoes and I passed out one time from hunger and dehydration from not eating. I hated that school, and I’m so glad I went to a junior high that didn’t have anyone else there from my old elementary.

katieotic

49. Lost and Found (on My Face)

Worked at a fast food place about 13 years ago. This lady in the drive-thru claimed she was missing a sandwich. Our policy was to ask for the bags back to verify. I asked to see the bags (3 or 4, decent sized order) and instead of handing them back like a civilized human being, she instantly started raging and throwing the food into the window while cussing me out! Guess what one of the items that she threw at me was? Yep, said missing sandwich.

Im_a_mouse_duh

50. Call It An Act Of God

This happened in eighth grade. I was bullied from the beginning of seventh grade and one day, I decided to report him. I got bullied for reporting the bully. I got so mad that one day after church I beat him up in the parking lot. I made sure I didn’t beat him up enough to have to call an ambulance but enough to hurt. He didn’t mess with me from then onwards.

LuckyIGN_Xynis

51. The Littlest Woman-Hater

I’ve worked with children in care and I feel as a disclosure that many come from severely dysfunctional families, and it’s our job to raise these children. I trained, tested and got a degree in this so I knew what I was getting myself into. There was one child who was particularly violent towards women; kicking, biting, spitting and inappropriate touching.

We were all paid minimum wage and severely unsupported by management. On one occasion, this particular child overpowered me. I just could not contain the behavior and I was alone (which should not have happened anyway). I did my best to protect myself, but I was absolutely covered in bruises, scratches and bitten on my arm. After shakily writing up my report I vowed never to be in a situation like that again. I left a week later.

AlmousCurious

52. Help Out or Get Out

What made me snap was watching someone else get bullied. I was bullied all through school by my supposed “friends.” I was on my way out to my car to go home one day and noticed a freshman getting teased and then his books smacked on the floor and then get tripped. I grabbed the little punk and slammed him against the locker and said, “Pick up all his stuff right now and apologize before I make you a permanent addition to these lockers.”

After he was done, I told him that if I catch him doing it again, I will be explaining to his grandfather personally why he has a broken nose. His grandad was the superintendent of the school district.

boysch2000

53. Sometimes the Best Thing to Do Is Walk Away

The moment I snapped, I quit my dream job. My boss and her assistant were horrible mean women who made my life a living hell. I was training guide dogs for a pretty well-known school, and the work was amazing, and I felt like I was being a part of something amazing. But they crushed my soul and I felt like I had a small nervous breakdown.

Not much happened to them. I’m not a vengeful person, I just walked away for my own sanity.

tomturkeypeach

54. Can’t Even Pick on Someone Not His Own Size

This happened six years ago, when I was in fifth grade and the bully was in sixth grade. I’d gotten to school a bit early and was just chilling on my phone when the bully came up and started ranting about how I couldn’t be on my phone. I said that hadn’t even started yet and it was none of his business. He then reached for my phone.

He literally tried to take it. Of course, I didn’t let him. I was getting really frustrated and told him, again, to go away. He didn’t. He decided it was a good idea to freaking punch me in the face. I wasn’t ready at all, so I didn’t even have time to put my arms up or anything. Just a first straight to the face. Now, I was a pretty small girl back then, and the bully was a year older and apparently played a lot of sports and stuff.

On top of that, he was standing up and I was sitting down. I just snapped. Without even thinking I just punched back as hard as I could. He just kinda stared at me before running off. I could literally head him crying. He shouted at me that he’d tell a teacher, but no one mentioned it to me ever again and I never got in trouble.

The bully didn’t bother me even once after that.

Ed_The_Smol_Bean

54. Your Safety Is Our Number Two Priority

I told my supervisors, manager, and safety department about severe issues at work, including broken equipment and more. They didn’t do anything. I told the union and they didn’t do anything either. I reported the issues for SEVERAL months—nothing. So, I finally said forget it, and reported them to the government. Suddenly, I had my supervisor freak out and ask if I called them. I told him straight up, “Yes, you’re darn right I did.” He threatened to fire me, but I had the perfect comeback.

I told him about the whistleblower laws and how that would be the stupidest decision he could ever make. I told him to please do it, as I would love the easy $200k I would easily win from the lawsuit. I haven’t had any issues at work since.

zocjonar

55. Well, He Warned You

It wasn’t me, but a kid I knew in middle school would constantly get picked on by two other kids who would act like jerks, badger him, push him around. Well, one day they were messing with him, pushing him around, and calling him names and he looks at one of the kids and calmly says “If you push me one more time, I’m going to punch you in the face.”

The bully decided to push him again and the kid turned and punched him square in the nose. The bully immediately started crying when he realized his nose was bleeding. He ran off with his friend to tell on the kid even though they were bullying him in the first place. Everyone around him (including me) was cheering him on as he had stuck up for himself.

ca_golds

56. Can’t Erase That Kind of Payback

Eighth grade: I had been dealing with him whispering insults and ending up with spitballs and snot in my hair. The teacher switched our seating arrangement and I ended up behind him. He called me stupid and I had it. I got him on the back of the neck with my pencil. So…yeah. Honestly, no clue where the courage came from. The bullying did stop!

Gruv_3

57. Watch Out for The Silent But Deadly

This wasn’t me but a quiet kid at school one of the bullies was picking on. The quiet kid never reacted even when the bully punched him. This went on for months. and the bully was always trying to get this guy to fight him, but the kid always said, “I don’t want to fight you.” Then one day the bully broke this guy’s art project on purpose, which he was about to hand in to be marked and the kid snapped.

He belted the absolute snot out of this bully. We actually had to jump in and break it up because he was going to kill the guy and didn’t look like stopping. I will never forget the bully turning up to school a few days later. His face was so swollen, and one eye was completely closed and black and blue from all the punches he took to the face.

I learned two things that day: bullies are cowards, and always be wary of the quiet ones.

Ready_4_Reddit

58. I’d Like to File a Complaint

When I was 12, part of the bullying included this other girl being a jerk about getting into our lockers. She had the one next to me, and they were both on the ground, so we’d have to put our bags on the floor when we wanted to get into them. If she got there first then I had to wait for her to finish before I could get to mine, but if I was there first then she’d shove my bag out of the way and wouldn’t be patient at all.

It sounds unimportant now, but this wasn’t the only thing that was going on. One day, she grabbed my bag and shoved it out of the way like normal and I snapped. I yelled at her, explaining exactly how she had been being unfair, and that she needed to make a freaking decision on which way it was gonna work, and then stick to it.

She and her friend literally had their mouths hanging open in shock, which is a sight I’ll never forget, and the lockers stopped being an issue after that (she decided on patience rather than shoving bags out of the way). I just wish I’d lost my mind at the bullies more often, maybe the rest of it would’ve stopped sooner.

elusiveekfish

60. Choke It Out

My twin sister makes fun of me and doesn’t stop. One time I had enough of her bullying, and I told her if she didn’t leave me alone, I would strangle her. She still wouldn’t leave me alone, so I attempted to “pretend” strangle her (I just grabbed her neck for a few seconds). It was enough to scare her, and she ran away crying. We were about 9 or 10.

DeathByLlamas8

61. The Hands of Fate Came for Him

I was the quiet kid at school. Bully had been especially annoying to me that day. At lunch, he yelled something to me, I walked up to him, and slapped him across his face. His face instantly became red and he jumped at me and tackled me to the ground. I shook him off, then shoved him into the wall. After that, he didn’t mess with me.

boopboii

62. Sticks and Stones May Break Your Bones, But So Will the Right Shove

So, I grew up moving around a lot with mom and dad. Unfortunately, that meant being the new kid quite a bit. I was a pretty awkward kid, but I generally managed to make friends. Except at one particular school, I was there for three years which is the longest run at one elementary school I ever had. Anyway, the popular girls would bully me constantly.

I was about 50 pounds soaking wet when I was younger and was on average skinnier than most. They would call me anorexic and ask why my parents starved me, etc. They didn’t. My parents were and still are amazing. But one day the popular girl asked me to give her a push on the gliders—you’d hang on to a T-bar and push off from one but platform to the next.

Well, I pushed her. Really hard. And she fell off and broke her arm. I transferred schools the next week.

elizastin

63. Appealing to Their Inner Gentlemen

I was about eight years old at the time. A group of boys at school gathered around me/formed a circle and started pushing me around. I was a reserved and shy kid, and this was surprisingly the tipping point for me. I started yelling at each of them and asked them if bullying a defenseless girl made them feel cool. They backed off.

I saw one of the boys alone in one of the washrooms (unisex sink area) and for the first time, he said hi and walked off. I’ll never forget this day.

Girlfromlondon_

64. A Case of Misplaced Rage

Walking out of the library, someone kicked my wheelie pack, right where my laptop was. I spun around, there was my long-time bully, and my former best friend, still friend. I assume it was the bully and had enough of him. I punched him square in the nose as hard as I could, instantly causing a spray of blood. He recoiled, and I tacked him to the ground, and just whaled on this kid.

He was probably six inches taller than me but was fairly skinny. He required stitches and had a broken nose. People knew he harassed me and vouched that he had it coming. I got away with it scot-free. The next day my friend told me she was trying to get my attention, because I didn’t hear her call my name…the bully didn’t kick my pack at all.

AFTER_THAT_LION_DUDE

65. One Punch, Many Victims

There was this one girl at our school who wasn’t a bully in the usual sense, she was just mean as heck. Me and the mean girl were on-and-off friends until seventh grade. Then, she just started hating me for god knows what. On KiK, she would tell me to off myself and keep harassing me. Nobody out of the three other people in the group chat did anything about it.

I finally had enough and with permission from my parents, I went to school, waited for her until she got comfortable at her table, and then I went up and punched her in the face. She said later on it didn’t even hurt, but she was crying when it happened. I hid in the bathrooms for the rest of the morning period, then was suspended for three days.

The girl who was harassing me wasn’t in trouble because I couldn’t provide screenshots of her saying it in the group chat. When I came back to school, I got so many high-fives from other people that thought she was mean, and they were cool with what I did.

OhNoItsLily

66. Meet the Consequences of Hate

My story. Kids used to bully me for having darker skin. I had the complete Mediterranean look as most Balkan guys look like, but kids are harsh nowadays. I was weak, scared all my teen years until high school. I even hated myself and my parents. Thankfully I accepted myself after a lot of help from my parents and friends.

But in the first class of high school, I was taller than most of my classmates, and had pretty much buffed up due to Rugby and mostly gym. The building was being repaired at that time because we were adding art classes. My longtime ringleader of the bullying came up to me on the first day of class. He said, “What’s up n-word?”

I picked up a half-cut plastic pipe laying on the ground, smashed it on his head, pulled him from the neck and slammed his face on a door. Due to my anger, I kept slamming him to the door while the other “pack” of his was watching in horror. The only thing that stopped me from killing him was the mark of blood on the door.

We were both given warnings, but from that day on I changed to the courageous man I believe I am now. Violence isn’t the answer, never do what I did.

Brainmated

Snapped Back At Bully Facts

67. Not Poor on Rage

I was a quiet, awkward kid with a large family, so we were always wearing hand me downs. In fifth grade, I was always getting picked on because I didn’t have the right sneakers. I was in gym when I was getting picked on again and finally, I snapped on this one kid who was the ringleader. But it wasn’t like the cool, punch the guy and say something cool.

It was like I had a nervous breakdown. I picked up a chair and threw it at him while I was in tears and then I just started screaming “What the heck is wrong with you? Why are you so mean to me?!” until my teacher pulled me away and sent me to the nurse. My dad had to come to pick me up and the teachers had to explain to my dad why everyone picked on me.

I was so embarrassed I stayed home from school for the next two days.

-Words-Words-Words-

68. Careful Where You Aim Those Lips

One day, during neighborhood sports down at the park after a basketball game, a kid who was part of a bigger group who liked to pick on me and being a complete jerk threw a basketball at me as I was walking away with two friends. I completely lost my mind, looked at him did some crazy ass karate kid style jump kick to get in close which knocked him to the ground and beat the snot out of him.

Realized we were in the street after the rage subsided, so I let him get up and threw him back down onto the grass where I continued. At one point he weaseled away and found a hockey stick close by and picked it up. I laughed at him and walked away, he didn’t bother to chase. With that said I was “big man on campus” for like two days but after that people were still total jerks to me.

He, on the other hand, never said a mean word to me ever again.

egnards

69. Don’t Become Glass-Cleaner

One day, maybe eighth or ninth grade when I gained more confidence, I saw a guy being bullied for being ginger. So, I intervened, saying something along the lines of “What is wrong with you, leave this guy alone!” So, they responded: “Well, you’re a moron, and I’m not trying to wash your hair in the toilets” The guy then walks towards me and try to hit me in the face, but years of judo practice gave me good reflexes.

Didn’t even tried to hit the guy at first, just dodged his fists a few times. Then when he finally hit me and made me lose my glasses, I grabbed him and slammed him on the big glass mirror of the toilets, breaking it. I then make the guy fall and threw him a kick in the stomach (glasses are expensive), then left with the ginger guy for the infirmary.

Wished I had thought of something cool to say to the bully, but my ninth grade self wasn’t as cool as I wished. Ended up paying for the mirror, and probably with seven years of bad luck, but the ginger guy ended up being a nice friend (probably because I didn’t call him “ginger guy” at the time). In short, don’t break mirrors using a bully.

ChuckMauriceFacts

70. A Daily Dose of Vitamin Revenge

At lunchtime, I sat at the nerd table. The off-beat cool kids’ table was next to us. They spent the last ten minutes mashing up an apple without breaking the skin. They brought it over to our table and slammed it in the center, splattering mushed apple all over us. Walking back from this, one of the jerks decided he would follow me.

Tossed an orange gently at my back. The more I ignored, the harder they laughed. When it hit me in the back of my head, I lost it. I walked over, picked up the orange, and from point blank range I slammed it in the kid’s face, drenching him in orange. It felt so good.

ThePedeMan

71. Remember to Respect the Lady

This was a while ago. Guy used to bully me and other people at lunch every day. I always just ignored it until I saw him slam a locker door on this girl’s head. She was bleeding from the cheekbone. I don’t know what incidents led to that, but that doesn’t matter, and it made me furious. I couldn’t believe what I did next. I dragged him to the ground and broke his arm by snapping it from the elbow via armbar.

I was a purple belt in jiu-jitsu at the time, which he didn’t know. He was screaming from the pain. I was almost expelled. Instead, we both got an in-school suspension for two weeks, including Saturday detention.

m1nhC

72. Get Some Fresh Air, Jerk

One morning, someone pulled my chair out from under me as I went to sit down. There was an open window behind me. I grabbed him and threw him out of it. It wasn’t high enough for any more injury than to his dignity, but he was put somewhere closer to in his place.

GeebusNZ

73. Try Grindr Next Time

I’m gay and got constantly harassed about it every day for the whole school year. One afternoon, some middle schooler (whose friends had bullied me before) walked up to me and in a mocking tone, asked, “Are you gay?!” I said, “Why do you care?” He replied, “I don’t know dude, are you gay?!” I asked, “Why should it matter to you? It really shouldn’t make a difference.”

He replied, “Just tell me if you’re freaking gay!” I had had it with this kid and his friends’ (who were walking alongside him) questions. I quickly snapped at him: “Why do you want to know? You got the hots for me or something? Do you want to suck me off or some something?” He said, “Yeah sure whatever, just tell me if you’re freaking gay!”

I screamed out at the top of my lungs: “Y’ALL HEARIN’ THIS STUFF?! THIS KID WANTS TO SUCK ME OFF!!!” The kid got super embarrassed, and his friends all laughed at him. After that, nobody messed with me (or at least harassed me.)

Davi-Danger

74. Having a Ball Being a Survivor

I was getting strangled by my high school bully. I was about to pass out and my best friend kicked him in the balls. He hit the ground and my foot hit his face. Parents took his family to court, won.

ghostanddarkness

75. Caste Means Nothing After School

When I was in junior high at a big city school, one of the members of the football team used to pick on anyone he believed to be “below him.” He decided one day to come after me, but I mostly ignored him. Eventually, he decided to escalate the situation and slammed my hand shut in my locker door. I kinda had one of those blinding white-hot rage moments, and I beat the snot out of him.

I was on the wrestling team, so I took him down and punched him a bunch of times before the teachers broke us up. After the fight was over, embarrassingly enough, we were both sobbing because A) I was fuming mad and B) He got beaten up. His parents threatened to sue my parents over the ordeal, but nothing really came of it.

We ended up being friends after that.

Chingparr

76. Not Suitable for Disney

When I was young, about 10-12, I used to have a friend in my neighborhood. He and I would get together with the various kids in our area to play games with. Wiffleball, football, you name it. Well, one of the guys we’d play with would relentlessly make fun of me and be a general jerk. We’ll call him Dick. One time I had stepped away from the field that we used to play on, but only for a few minutes.

I left my sweet Razor scooter behind for that short period. When I came back from whatever I was doing, I found my scooter in the drain to the very small drainage ditch in the field. I had to kneel down and fish it out for about ten minutes. When I finally got it out it was soaked. Not with murky water, but with pee. Dick had thrown my scooter down the drain and urinated on it.

All while this was happening Dick and his gaggle created a new nickname for me. “Goofy freak.” Every time I’d pass by his house or his gaggle of twats, they’d chant “Goofy freak” at me or shout “Yo Goof!” Then they’d laugh. I don’t know why they targeted me. I wasn’t overweight, I don’t have any weird physical features, I’m just the most average white guy you can think of.

It did stop at one point though after I spat in Dick’s face after a particularly bad tirade on his part. He didn’t retaliate, he just seemed stunned. I think he caused a lot of my self-esteem issues though. I’m very self-conscious, and I struggle with insecurity. On the other side, he inspired me to pursue a career in counseling adolescents.

Permalink

77. A Series of Unfortunate Events (for Them)

I was severely bullied from my earliest memory all the way through high school. The times I remember snapping were these. In third grade, we were putting the chairs upside down onto the desks at the end of the day and this kid kept pushing my chair and pushing me. I turned around and shoved him as hard as I could with both hands and he fell onto the desk behind him, the chair fell off, he fell off onto the chair, and I got in trouble.

In fourth grade, at some Boy Scout thing, there were sodas. I got one out of the cooler and a kid who bullied me a lot grabbed it out of my hand and walked away. I grabbed another one and threw it at the back of his head. Got in trouble, of course. In seventh or eighth grade, after being bullied incessantly, I lost it and was crying and screaming and punching the lockers and got in trouble for denting a couple of them.

In ninth or tenth grade, while on the bus, one of the bullies grabbed my comb out of my back pocket. He’d messed with me a lot. Rather than punching, for some reason, I used my open hand to slap him really hard on top of his head. He was seated and I was standing in the aisle. He complained of his neck hurting from it and I got in trouble.

Between each of these instances, I’d put up with constant bullying every day and do nothing and no teachers gave a darn. Bullies got away with bullying all the time, but even if I simply said “leave me alone” with a loud voice, I was in trouble. It never made sense to me.

Up2Eleven

78. You Got the Long End of the Stick

Beat mine with a hockey stick one day after school. We were playing road hockey, he lived down the street. He just kept going and to be honest I saw red. I just remember my dad pulling me off while I was slamming my wooden goalie stick into his side while he tried to cover his bleeding face. His parents never pursued anything; my parents took me to counseling.

He ended up nearly killing his best friend in a drinking and driving accident. The friend was never the same, permanently injured. Bully died by suicide a few years later after he didn’t make a junior hockey team. I still feel bad. I have never been in any violent interaction before or since. Now as an adult, and an educator I know he was likely really hurting.

pm_me__your__pain

79. The Real Health Hazard Is Your Mouth

In fifth grade, I saw the girl who bullied me getting picked on. Her mom died due to health complications and someone was saying she died because she was “too fat.” Even though she picked on me every day I still stuck up for her. She didn’t thank me or anything. But I think after I did that, she was a little nicer to me.

kayleigh_Gideon

80. The Itsy-Bitsy Spider Came Up to Whoop Your Butt

I wasn’t the victim. The victim came to me for help. I don’t know why, because I’m tiny. But this poor girl had a condition that had stunted her growth, so she was the same age as me only a foot shorter. About five boys were on this spider-looking piece of playground equipment and had taken her hat and were teasing her. I’ve never raised so much hell.

I must have looked like Gollum climbing that thing to go after them. In the end, one got a vicious junk kick because he wouldn’t back off me. The rest I scattered. I’m sorry but that is bull. Five older boys against the one tiniest girl in the school. And she felt she couldn’t go to anyone but me. No. I don’t care how much crap I get but there are unspoken playground rules in place.

You just don’t do that.

Permalink

81. A Family Throwdown

In seventh grade, there was this one student who enjoyed taking other student’s notes or textbooks and ripping page by page off. One day, he rips my assignment. I scream at him; a teacher nearby immediately comes. He hit the teacher slapping, punching so I threw a wooden chair on him. Later, I learned that the teacher is his mom and that’s why he always being arrogant. Thinking he can get away with stuff.

I broke his jaw. But left with only a warning. He got a seven-day suspension. I don’t know how many times he was caught red-handed.

Maynotbeme

82. Revenge is Better With Friends

In eighth grade, I snapped after being picked on during gym class. I had my first genuine “screw it” moment in my life, and decided I was going to wreck the guy who was picking on me, no matter how bad I got beaten down in return. As it turns out, he was a wuss, and I landed a few really great shots that got him on the ground.

That’s when his friends showed up to kill me. But my friends saw what happened as well and they were inspired. This quickly turned in to thirty kids having an all-out brawl. I felt bad afterward because I never intended for anyone aside from me and the initial instigator to get hurt, but it became sort of a weird bonding moment.

A lot of friendships were made that day and going into high school, many old grudges were dropped. I want to add that I never felt “bullied” in the modern sense. Looking back, it was all standard rich kid/poor kid/clique bull that has been going on since the cavemen. Also, I’d like to add that we were playing hockey, so by causing a riot I feel my actions were all on the level.

satisfried

83. Should Have Just Paid the Troll Toll

When I was younger, my dad bought some oil field royalties, percentage ownerships of what is produced, which gave a check each month for a few hundred bucks. Well as time goes by, the checks begin to dwindle and then stop. At this point, he began to look into the company that operated the oilfield and received a significantly less than satisfactory answer.

At this point, they really should have just given him the checks each month, because he proceeded to look into the company and peel back a metric ton of fraud and other deceptions. Over the course of a seven-year litigation case, my dad figured out exactly how they were committing fraud and after working with a few lawyer friends, hit them with the slap of God in court, which removed their operator’s license for oil wells and promptly thereafter, they went out of business.

He ruined a $50 million company because they tried to screw him out of a few hundred bucks a month.

LegalGraveRobber

84. The Grandfather of All Beatdowns

I was on the road with my grandpa—he was a truck driver—and we had stopped for the night at a truck stop. We go to do our normal thing of showering, eating, playing a game or two, then sleeping. If you don’t know, truck stops have separate room showers. I got out of the shower and was waiting outside for my grandpa to finish his.

I go look at the glass figurines that most stops have and was just about five feet from the showers. Next thing I know, a man grabs my arm and starts dragging me to the door. I was about 10 at the time, but I looked about 6/7. Obviously, I don’t know this man and I start crying loudly, trying to grab onto something to stop him.

Thankfully my grandpa walked out at that moment and heard me screaming bloody murder. He ran toward us—I’ve never seen that man run before. The guy dragging me was yelling at him, “It’s my daughter, I promise, don’t worry!” That man flew to the ground so fast and hard. My grandpa’s hand was bloody, blood sprayed when he was hit.

The man looked up at him and yelled that I was his daughter. My grandpa said, “I’m the grandfather, care to try again?” As he got closer. Cops came as my grandpa was straddling him and was about to beat him to a bloody pulp. Workers of the store backed up my grandpa, showed security footage, there were even bruises on my arms.

If my grandpa had been in the showers another minute, who knows where I’d be or what would have happened to me. I love you, grandpa!

pan-orama

85. Who is the Real Gentleman?

It happened between my high school boyfriend and my older brother. My freshman year of high school I met “Scotty.” He was a little on the weird side, a scene kid, but he was nice enough. Until the day he decided to hit me. I said something he didn’t agree with and in retaliation, and he slapped the bejeezus out of me. If there was an award for best slap, then Scotty won it.

My head snapped back, saliva flew from my mouth, tears formed in my eyes. We had been in the car, sitting in traffic behind some accident or something else. He kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. I sat down on the side of the road and called my brother because I wasn’t ready to deal with my mother’s reaction.

My brother showed up in his Jeep and held up traffic on a Friday afternoon to make sure I was okay. He had even stopped at the store and bought me a bag of frozen peas for my cheek. We drove on, the car was deadly silent. My brother was steely-faced, white-knuckle gripping the wheel, with pure anger in his eyes. We drove past our road and kept going.

He pulled into Scotty’s yard and stormed up to the door. I stayed in the car. Scotty came out, 5’7” tall to my brother’s 6’3”. My brother grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him a good foot off the ground. I didn’t hear what was said, all I know is my brother never had to hit the kid, whatever he said to him made Scotty go pale and shaky.

Brother laid him down on the front porch, came back down, got in the Jeep and wrecked that boy’s front yard. Tore it the hell up. Scotty’s dad was one of those guys who won awards for his yard. Scotty had to explain to his dad why his yard was messed up. His parents called and apologized for their son’s behavior. We never heard another word from Scotty.

carmelacorleone

86. He Who Smelt It, Shouldn’t Be Dealt It

I was working retail right after high school. Minimum wage job ($5.15/hour) as a stockman for a retail company. When I took the job, I thought “stockman” was only dealing with the merchandise from the truck to the floor. Turns out, it was a code word for “Everything the managers, cashiers and people on the floor don’t do”, including janitorial work.

It was one Saturday, we were busy, and someone trashed the men’s room. Clogged the toilet, then pooped in it again, and flushed it in the only stall we had. The walls, they had to have taken an ink pen, broke the ballpoint off and let it ooze out all over the walls. It was disgusting. I was the only stockman on duty because the store cut everyone’s hours.

So, my manager told me that I had to clean that restroom up real fast and get back into the stockroom and do the rest of my other duties that day. I took a survey of that destroyed restroom and told the manager (he was a jerk anyway), “No. I don’t think we have the tools to fix that toilet and I’m not doing that with my hands and if you tell me to do so I will quit.”

He fired me for refusing to clean it up. The next day his boss, the store’s actual manager (the one who fired me was just a co-manager) told me that such cleanups aren’t store staff but should have been a call to a plumber and that the guy who fired me didn’t actually have the authority to fire me. Then he asked me to come back to work because I was the only stockman scheduled for the weekend and no one else was either answering the phone or wanting to come into work.

I didn’t go back.

GreatJanitor

87. Below the Belt Hits

There was a bully in my high school class who liked to “pants” other guys. His goal was usually to get both the pants and the boxers, leaving the victim’s genitals blowing in the breeze. After gym, the bully decided his target was a guy named Dan. Dan was a brilliant yet awkward guy, definitely on the spectrum. Dan was a tall gangly guy and an easy target.

However, Dan had a secret. He had just received his black belt in jiu-jitsu and was fully capable of absolutely messing stuff up. I think you see where this is going. Anyway, the bully struts up to Dan and yanks his shorts down. Shorts, boxers, everything. Dan is left standing there fully on display with the whole class laughing at him.

Dan calmly stepped out of his downed shorts and put the bully into some crazy hold. Once he got the bully to squeal, he flipped him over his back onto the bleachers. The gym teacher saw the whole thing. The bully suffered a broken leg, missed out on his entire senior year of athletics, and was suspended. Dan received a warning not to break the legs of any more classmates.

nate800

88. Walking on Sunshine

My older brother once threw me into the ceiling and let me drop to the floor. So, for the next year or so, I would always wait until he would leave the room, and then I would go into his closet and pee in his shoes. I didn’t tell him for around 20 years. When I finally did, he said “You little jerk! I could never figure out why my feet always smelled so bad!”

waxaholic

89. The Wrong Neck of the Woods

My ex-boyfriend treated me like garbage, stole a bunch of my money, stole my car, and badly damaged my dignity and self-respect. I come from a small town, and he wasn’t a local. So to get my revenge, I had him move into town with me and then took him to meet the tough, no-nonsense locals as soon as he got settled. I then told them all about the way he treated me.

Let’s just say he’s gone now and won’t be coming back to my area any time soon…

crazycatlady25

90. And That’s All She Wrote

When I was 12 years old, I used to ride this private school bus home. It was the same as a regular bus, but it went directly to my house which was about half an hour away from school. Hence, we could often fight on this bus with no real consequences, since it was only for a few people and there was very little supervision.

Being one of the last people to get on, I always had to sit on the folding aisle seat. I was minding my own business when my mortal enemy came up behind me. After mocking and hitting me from behind for several minutes, he grew bored and eventually lowered his guard. After a few minutes, I turned around and saw that he was still standing next to me and talking to someone else nearby.

I pulled out a sharp pencil, turned in my seat, and attempted to spear the bully’s rear end with all the might I could muster. Unfortunately, I missed his bottom, and instead drove the pencil deep into lands where it had no business being. Hearing his girlish yelp, I withdrew my pencil and fled to the front to the seat next to the driver, to safety.

And laughed maniacally.

Igor_the_barbarian

Revenge Stories facts Shutterstock

91. Inconvenience Store

I’ve never been much of a fighter, but I had my day: I was once driving and this truck was tailgating me like I’ve never seen. I really thought he was going to hit me. I pulled over to let him pass, but he just got in front of me and started hitting his brakes. I pulled into a convenience store to get away from him. He followed and got out of the vehicle.

I’m a big guy, but this dude was the size of a bear. He was towering over me. I could tell that he was trying to intimidate me for his own amusement, so I just thought screw it. I gave him a quick jab to the throat and watched all 400+ lbs of him fly into the ground. I quickly ran back to my car and sped away before he could get up and follow.

Pile_Of_Pineals

92. Brotherly Love

My sister used to beat me up, steal my birthday money, and call me a loser in front of friends and girls that I liked. When our mom went shopping for Christmas, my sister would tell her to buy me all these horrible clothes to make me look the part. She was pretty much just a total jerk to me at all times. So, every time I had to pee in the shower, I’d pee in her shampoo bottle and body wash, or sometimes all over her razors and body sponges.

Screw you, Vanessa!

emperor_friendzone

93. The Name Game

When I was seven years old, the Monica Lewinsky scandal happened. My first name happens to be Monica. You can imagine what a bunch of immature kids liked to call me at the time. One girl, who was several years older than me and whom I had never talked to before, kept picking on me and calling me Monica Lewinsky. I asked her to stop, and she didn’t. Keep in mind that this girl was pretty big compared to me.

One day, she was playing on this jungle gym in the shape of a fire engine and was trying to balance herself. So I took advantage of her vulnerability and started tickling her. When I noticed that she didn’t like being tickled and was losing her balance, I continued to tickle. This was probably my innocent way of being violent. The girl eventually lost her balance, fell down, and broke her leg.

When I saw her later in a cast with crutches, she looked at me with this apologetic expression and never called me Monica Lewinsky again. She was afraid of me, a little seven-year-old girl.

ohappydagger

94. Video Evidence

One time, when I worked in a small video store as an assistant manager, there was this one customer who was being a real jerk to the point where I got fed up with his garbage once and for all and threw him out. He had been a jerk to every single other employee in the store, including our boss. He was just a mouthy, harassing jerk and I couldn’t stand him. It felt good, but I didn’t stop there.

Anyway, I saw him in a little strip mall nearby one time, and I overheard him bragging to some guys about how he was cheating on his worker’s compensation. Then, he pulled out this wad of cash and waved it under their noses like a paper fan. “I got all this freakin’ free money from lying about my injured hand!” What a jerk.

I decided I would get revenge on him for everything he had done to my employees. If you go into the Blue Pages of the phone book, you’ll find a listing in all capital letters that says “WORKER’S COMPENSATION FRAUD HOTLINE.” Now, take a wild guess what video stores keep in their records. Full name, home address, and phone number.

Not only did I turn this guy in to the authorities, but I was also able to provide great detail as to exactly how he had faked his injury based on what he had told his two friends.

Patches67

95. Pin the Nail on the Bully

A bully repeatedly knocked a binder out my best friend’s hands every single day while we walked down the halls at school. I decided that he and I needed to get revenge. Now, this was in the era before anti-bullying PSAs and whatnot, so we were really left to our own devices. We came up with a plan so devious that it would never fly nowadays.

I convinced my friend to stick thumb tacks through an entire side of his binder, turning it into an extremely dangerous spiked weapon. I also instructed him to just hold on extra tight while waiting for the bully to come and do his thing. The bully soon arrived and lacerated his hand pretty badly. After he slammed his hand down into it, my friend held on and yanked back.

The idiot didn’t try that garbage again from that day forth.

ddollas

96. Pick Your Poison

I’m immune to poison ivy, so I was always uprooting it for my parents in our yard. We had about a full acre of it. One day, I happened to have left a whole pile of it in this concrete area behind our garage because I was too lazy to dispose of it properly and wanted to go fishing. I headed over to a fishing pond across this canal in my neighborhood.

I didn’t always have a functioning bike, and the walk was only about a mile. On this particular day, as I was making my way over, a “big kid” who was probably about two or three years older than me happened to be passing by. He was a real jerk. He’d always do stuff like ride by me on his bike and act like he was gonna high-five me, but then just slap my face and ride off laughing.

Anyway, as he was passing by on his bike that day, he decided to pull that stunt again and I went back home feeling upset. I wanted revenge. I got my water gun and was gonna shoot him if he messed with me again. Then I saw the poison ivy and got an evil idea. I poured it into a bucket with some water, stirred it all up good, then dumped the mixture into my water gun.

I went back to the pond as soon as everything was ready. On the way back home, he came around and tried messing with me again. I hosed him down with my water gun. He started freaking out and broke the gun, but man was it worth it! He had no idea what had hit him! From what I heard, he didn’t go back to school for almost two weeks after that.

Paranatural

97. Very Amusing

When I was about 13 years old, my family had saved up to take us to the Six Flags Over Georgia amusement park. It’s about a two-hour drive away from our house, so we left early to get there as soon as it opened. That way, we wouldn’t have to fight any crowds at the gate. As we pulled into the parking lot, we found a decent spot in an area that was already packed.

As we started to pull into the spot, a car of four 20-something-year-olds cut us off and took the spot. Ok, whatever we think. But no. To add insult to injury, the driver then got out and yelled, “What the heck are you gonna do about it, loser?” His buddies all had a good laugh and headed over to the gate. I could tell that my dad was steamed, but he kept his mouth shut.

We eventually found another spot and, as we were heading to the gate, my dad said he’d be right back and walked off. Fast forward to the end of the day. The park was closed and we were the last group of people making our way out. We hopped into the car and, lo and behold, as we were leaving the parking lot, we saw the car from earlier with four flat tires and four annoyed guys just sitting there.

My dad drives by them and, without missing a beat, rolls down the window and yells “What the heck are you gonna do about it, losers?” as we drive off into the sunset.

Permalink

98. Magic Schoolbus

There was a bully that got moved to our school after being kicked out of like five others. As soon as he got settled in, he started picking on the kids on my bus. For the most part, I was just quiet and stayed away from him. I was a skinny kid with big glasses that the other kids already called names, because I was always reading and lugging around a bag of books everywhere I went.

One day, it must have been my turn, and the new bully knocked the books out of my hands from behind. I didn’t react at all. I just picked them up and waited. He had gone through picking on everyone else on the bus, and the driver now had him sitting in a seat by himself towards the front. The next week, when we had pulled up to my stop, I waited to be the last kid off.

As I passed his seat, I selected five of the heaviest books I owned and put them in the bag. These included math, science, and a couple other thick textbooks. I was never particularly athletic, but I wound up all the angst and rage of every kid that had ever tolerated this jerk’s reign of terror and it was batter-up time.

I swung the bag of books at that big unsuspecting head from behind like I was Babe Ruth. I really let him have it. I then just continued walking off the bus as if nothing had happened, while the bully, who had bit his tongue and was bleeding profusely out the mouth, started to cry. His mom pulled him out of our school shortly after and we never saw him again.

I think back now and realize that the poor kid must have had an awful home life to act the way he did. Nevertheless, I live by the premise that if someone messes with you, your moral obligation in self-preservation states that you screw back by a factor of ten so that they never dream of messing with you again.

Harsh revenge is the only language that certain people in this world understand, so I regret nothing.

NutcaseLunaticManiac

99. Mommy’s Silent but Deadly

Seventh-grade science class. The bully said something about a quiet kid’s mother. The quiet kid’s mom was dead. The quiet kid also apparently studied boxing. Who knew? “What did you say about my mom?” WHAM. “What did you say about my mom?” WHAM. Bully was so shocked he did nothing and took the two straight punches to his face.

I don’t think the kid got in trouble, as it happened before the teacher came in.

PrivateIsotope

100. An Inconvenient Store

I worked at a convenience store. My coworker and I were classmates, and we were 16 or 17 years old at the time. The place got broken into, food and drinks were stolen, and when I came to work, the owner and his daughter were yelling at my coworker. He was angry and wanted us two to be liable for the damages. So he threatened to fire me and my coworker—but when my coworker told him that he’ll have to clean up the mess with only his daughter, the owner suddenly mellowed out.

We quit a week later anyway, when we found out that it was the daughter who had let her friends in to steal stuff, and then roughed the place up to make it look like a break in. The place shut down a few years later because of violations.

illogicalfuturity

Sources: 1, 2

Sources: 1, 2

Sources: 1, 2


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