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What is it about “all you can eat” that inspires human hubris? These buffet employees share their grisliest and shocking tales of a good meal gone bad. When unlimited portions meet the human frailty, the results can be messy, loud, and downright violent. Mind the salad bar and cringe at these horror stories from the buffet line.


1. Not Stacked Up for This Job

Years ago, I worked at an all-you-can-eat country buffet in South Carolina. I was a busboy. One day, I went to a table. It was a mess, as per usual. It looked to be a large family/group of families of around 12 people or so. The thing that stuck it in my memory is that whenever they had finished with what they were going to eat, they would scrape their plate and use it again. Scrape their plates… onto the floor next to their chairs.

So next to each chair, there was a six-inch to 18-inch pile of chicken bones, crab legs, mashed potatoes, remnants of baked potatoes, etc.

which_spartacus

2. Lost in the Sauce

My first job was as a dishwasher at an all-you-can-eat fried catfish buffet. People are animals. Especially the ones that get far more food off the buffet than they can eat. Then they take the leftovers and pile them on a plate or tray, cover in ketchup and tartar sauce, then pour their iced tea over the top of all that. And, by the way, a lot of people who did that got at least two plates like that a night.

sixpackshaker

3. It Pays to Eat

Not mine, but I had a buddy who was 400+ lbs and the dude could put away some food. He went to a casino buffet that was one of the higher end ones that had crab legs and steak. On about his fourth or fifth plate stacked full of crab legs, the manager came out and gave him $250 in free slot play to leave the buffet.

So, I linked this to my buddy who pointed out that there were two other dudes there and none of them was under 300 lbs. They killed a metric ton of food between them, and he was putting them to shame. The buffet was higher end, so it was $50 a person, but they easily all ate probably three or four times that and he ate probably eight or ten times that worth in food. He then went on to win just over 100 dollars with that free slot play as well. If you can’t beat the casinos at the games, beat ’em at the bar or the buffet.

Gosupanda

Buffet Workers Horror Stories FactsMax Pixel

4. Mommy’s Little Distraction

A woman came in with two of her kids and had a pretty regular meal. You pay when you leave at our place, and she decided to sneak out with her younger daughter before paying, leaving her underage son alone at the table. We caught on pretty quick and sent someone after her, who found her in her car in the parking garage, waiting for her son to come as well. She refused to come back in and pay, so we had to keep her son ‘hostage’ until the police came to handle the situation. What some people will do to their kids, I swear.

Forgot to mention: we also found out from her son that she stole one of the managers’ keycards and they would regularly come into the hotel and use the card to go swimming in the top floor pool. Smart, I’ll give her that, but still.

Valkrine10

5. See How Well This Worked for Augustus Gloop

Went as a customer to a Golden Corral. I’m walking to the chocolate fountain, and three little girls step in front of me. All three of them just go hands deep in the fountain. The family was the first table by the fountain and all they did was laugh about how cute it was… Employees turned it off immediately.

lovelyyyrose1993

6. Where’s the Roadrunner?

Buffet where I live got shut down for serving coyote meat and labeling it as other meats.

Vismungcg

7. Time is Relative, But Not in the Kitchen

At one point myself and two other family members worked at a Golden Corral (each in different sections) because small towns don’t have a lot of job options for high school/college kids. I worked in the bakery, which was surprisingly low in horror stories other than the chaos that remained after a large group of children came through.

My brother worked the steak station. He got these regulars that would tip him pretty well if he would prepare blue steaks for them. The very idea of ordering blue steaks from a buffet makes me gag. My cousin worked the salad bar. Management would require her to keep seafood items on the bar for long after the point where they’d be safe to consume. I think the record was chilled shrimp from Mother’s Day that stayed for over a week and a half. They finally caved and let her toss them when a customer complained about the smell.

natlach

8. Pulling My Leg?

I bus at a slightly nicer restaurant. On Fridays and Sundays, we offer a prime rib and crab leg buffet, among a salad bar, hot and cold entrées, and a desert bar. It’s honestly pretty nice, and our buffet runner keeps anyone from doing ungodly things to the buffet.

But the one incident that will always stand out to me was when this family of five came in. From the moment they came into the moment they left, they ate as many crab legs as they possibly could. Their server and I were clearing plates off as fast as we could. But every time we would return it seemed like another mountain of crab leg shells would appear in front of each member of that family. I do not know how they ate so much, and I honestly can’t recall if they ate anything besides the crab. Piles upon piles of shells were left upon the table after they left. It was truly a sight to behold.

What’s more is after I wiped down the table and came back with settings, I had to get another rag to wipe down the table again because something in the crab leg juice combined with our sanitizer and left a nice milky residue upon the table. Delicious.

When I leave this job, I’ll never be able to look at crab legs the same way.

ASuitofT51PowerArmor

9. Someone Woke Up Crabby

My parents owned an all you can eat buffet. I was there every day of my life from four to 14 years old. My favorite horror story is when a couple came in to eat (obviously). They loveeed the crab legs and every time my mom put some out, they took them ALL. Also, just a reminder, crab legs are expensive! Forget the other customers, they just took them and ate them all. So, they’re there for maybe two hours now and it’s getting dark. They’ve eaten through at least a week’s stock of crab legs and my mom finally decides it’s enough. She stops putting it out in the buffet and brings individual plates to the customers who wanted it but couldn’t get any due to this couple.

Understandably, the couple is angry. They literally flipped the chairs at their table, flipped their plates, bowls, cups, etc. and completely trashed their area. Food was all over the floor, table, chairs. Sticky soda was dripping into the carpet. They left in a hurry, but someone caught their license plate. We called the cops and I think they said they charged them with something? I can’t remember the aftermath details clearly, because I was probably eight or nine years old (20 now). I just remember looking at the mess and feeling really angry that my sister and I had to clean it up with our mom. It was a family-run business, so we didn’t have much help.

Anyways, that’s my horror story. The end.

blooberries1

10. A Cheesy Ending

Not a buffet, but I worked at a pizza parlor that offered a lunch buffet of endless pizza. The lunch ran from 11am-3pm. This gentleman comes in (I think he was homeless). He serves up a sky-high plate of pizza and just goes to town. He stayed from the beginning to the very end to make sure he got his money’s worth. Well, his body didn’t appreciate being stuffed like a piñata of pizza. He got up, waddled fast to the bathroom, and next thing I know I’m being told he had liquid poop trailing behind him to the bathroom and inside the bathroom. I was informed by my boss about the incident. I told him I was just heading out for a break. I was not about to clean that up.

AnonymousCrime2

11. What Goes in Must Come Out

I worked at a Ruby Tuesday in center city Philly (first floor of the Liberty Place building). I had a couple that would come in about twice a week and always requested me. They would gorge themselves at the salad bar for about an hour, ask for large glasses of water with no ice, then both would take the water into the bathroom. They would come out a few minutes later with empty glasses, ask for the check and leave. I finally put it together that they were bulimic after I walked in the women’s bathroom and it smelled like vomit. Very polite folks and tipped well though.

jessperk

12. The Real Takeaway is Make Better Friends

A long time ago, my mom and I picked up a friend of hers and we went to a local Chinese food buffet. This place had a thing where you could get a pound of food for $5 in a takeout container instead of sitting and eating at the restaurant if you want, so that was our plan. The three of us were browsing around the buffet line with our takeout containers, adding what we wanted to them… and then I noticed my mom’s friend doing something freaking disgusting.

He was eating a chicken wing. Like, right in front of the buffet line, hiding his face behind his takeout container. And then he took the chicken bone and put it back in the buffet tray. I walked over to my mom and told her what he was doing. At first, she thought I was joking. So, she walked over towards him and now he was standing there eating a slice of watermelon right off the buffet, and then putting the rind back in the tray.

So, my mom is like “What the heck are you doing!?” and he’s like “Don’t worry, I do this all the time! They never notice!”

So of course, both me and mom are panicking, worried that they’re gonna call the cops or something because of this jerk. We basically pretended to not know him and continued to fill up our containers the right way. After a couple minutes, one of the employees walks up to my mom and tells her that they noticed what the guy was doing, and they noticed that we were also uncomfortable about it and didn’t intend to blame us. But they warned her that if she doesn’t get him to pay for the food in his container and leave immediately, they’ll be calling the police.

So of course, mom tells him that we need to go. Now. And he just brushes it off like, “I don’t care. They’re not gonna do anything!”

Well, me and mom walked up to the front, paid for our containers, apologized, and walked out and left him in there. A minute later, you can see and hear him shouting with the staff. He throws his container on the ground and food splatters everywhere. He storms out, shouting insults as he leaves, and of course gives them a “I’m never coming back!”, to which they reply “You’re not allowed in here no more! We’ll call the cops!”

So, we’re standing out by the car, waiting for him. Of course, we yell at him for being a piece of trash. We get in the car and the next thing you know, this jerk starts pulling chicken wings and Chinese donuts out of his freaking pockets and eating them.

We dropped him off at home and never spoke to him again.

A_Wild_Taka_Appears

13. Make Room for More

I had a co-worker that briefly managed a Ryan’s Buffet. He said that it was fairly common for people to gorge themselves, then purge in the restroom and start eating again so that they could “get their money’s worth.”

obeyyourbrain

Buffet Workers Horror Stories FactsShutterstock

14. The Four Horsemen of a Bad Dinner Out

I worked as a server at a Chinese buffet and four things came to mind instantly.

First, a middle-aged woman puked on her table and blamed it on giving herself the wrong insulin dose. The four mountains of food she destroyed probably contributed too. Profusely apologized and tipped me $1.

Second, I tried to pick up a dirty plate off a table that had a big pool of hibachi sauce/grease on it. The customer stopped me and said. “That’s the best part.” Then proceeded to drink the sauce like it was the milk after a bowl of cereal.

Third, a young mother complained to me because the crabmeat and cheese that we serve on the buffet made her child sick and they threw up. Her child was an infant. Not even a year old. I’m no childcare expert but baked artificial crabmeat and mozzarella can’t be good for a baby.

Fourth, the restaurant was raided by ICE one morning shortly before opening. The entire back of the house and one of our managers were deported. Back of the house was 1/2 Chinese and 1/2 Latin American.

Lewshis

15. The More They Eat, the Higher They Fall

I didn’t work at an All You Can Eat, but my sister did.

The buffet itself was on the first floor, so you had to take either the stairs or the elevator to your seat.

Once there was a lady who was carrying a tray with a whole lot of stuff on it down. Glasses, plates and a whole lot more junk. My sister asked the lady if she needed any assistance, to which the lady replied, “You assume because I’m fat, I need help?” My sister didn’t react. A few seconds later the lady fell down the stairs. There was blood and food everywhere.

InfiniteLap

16. Getting a Feel for the Food

Worked in a buffet restaurant for a few weeks a while back. It was fairly common to see people do disgusting things like sneeze in the food or just poke their fingers in things like sauces to taste them. Even saw one guy literally drop a slice of pizza on the floor and after awkwardly looking around, he put it right back.

Brought it up a couple of times, but the restaurant wasn’t doing well, and we were told that we couldn’t accept the losses to start throwing “good” food out.

pm_me_nothing____

17. Giving Himself a Raw Deal

I was at a Chinese buffet with a Hot Pot option that you had to pay extra for. There was a separate section with the stuff for that which was raw. This guy loaded up his plate with all this raw stuff and was eating it, including dangerous raw stuff like shrimp. I think he may have been slightly intellectually disabled.

The Chinese staff had to come over and inform him that he was eating the wrong things and try to explain it to him. He got really embarrassed and said that he did not understand how it worked. Between the Chinese staff with their limited English, and this poor guy who was not capable of really understanding what he had done wrong, it was one of those awkward moments in life that you cannot forget no matter how much you try.

imk

18. Whatever Happened to the One Dip Rule?

College friend worked at a Chinese buffet. He said they caught a regular dipping his pizza in the wonton soup bowl (like, in the queue and not at his table) and eating it. Bite, dip, bite, dip, bite, dip.

After he did it for the fourth time in a month, management finally kicked him out.

ndkjr70

19. Leaving a Bit of Myself Behind

I was once at an Old Country Buffet, waiting patiently to get some Mac & Cheese. The kid in front of me piled his plate high, and then started tapping the serving spoon to get all of the cheesy goodness free from the confines of the spoon. Once he was satisfied with his handiwork, he licked the spoon clean. I didn’t have any Mac & Cheese, and haven’t been back since.

allhailkircules

20. She’s Got This Meal Wrapped Around Her Finger

Not an employee, but I was standing behind a woman at Hometown Buffet. She was getting some lasagna or something, basically a really cheesy pasta that when you lift the serving utensil, a lot of cheese hangs on. I witnessed her lift her pasta, twirl all the excess cheese that was connected around her index finger (and there was a lot), clip it off with her thumb nail, and then fling it back into the pasta.

I knew I shouldn’t have been at Hometown Buffet in the first place, but this solidified my stance to never go back.

TACObracommander

21. It’s All or Nothing

At one point, I worked for a pizza place that used to have a day buffet that I would make pizzas for. One time, two huge dudes come in the moment we open for the buffet. The manager on duty dropped the first two pizzas down on the buffet, turned to grab the next two, turned back and both pizzas were gone.

A few minutes later, both dudes walk back up. Each takes an entire pizza again and they walk back to continue eating. They proceeded to do this over and over, grabbing an entire pizza each for themselves for the entire three hours we were offering the buffet. Was one hell of a day.

mysticbooka

Buffet Workers Horror Stories FactsShutterstock

22. With Taste Like This, Who Needs Style?

There was a fairly expensive restaurant in Dallas in the 80s called Southern Kitchen. About $25 per person back then with food served to the table. Really good stuff.

They were famous for cinnamon rolls. The owner said he’d seen many, many women ruin expensive purses hiding those rolls.

Man, I miss that place.

NightMgr

23. One Toddler, Two Tantrums, No Taste

A few years back when Golden Corral first got the chocolate fountains, I went there and was going to try it out. As I was walking up to the fountain, and I started to contemplate what I was going to have, a toddler takes his drink and just pours it into the fountain and ruins it.

So anyways, the manager comes over and is going ballistic because they had just set it up for the day and now they would completely have to replace the chocolate. Shortly after, this man comes up and decides he wants some chocolate brownies, but he can’t as the machine is being purged in the back of the place, so what does he do? The guy just puts his tray down and leaves the restaurant, goes to the toddler’s family’s car and slashes their tires. He was never caught after that.

That man had the kind of devotion this world needs.

Fo_Shizzle_My_Diggle

24. Foot-First into Flavor

Watched a lady get a to-go box and fill it up until the Styrofoam was about to collapse. When she dropped an egg roll on the ground, she then proceeded to pick it up with her toes (she was wearing flip flops) and place it into her box.

zekuntslayer

25. He’s on a Roll

Not an employee but when my family was on vacation in Florida, we went to an all you can eat pizza place. For dessert they had these really tasty sticky buns that were in big demand. So, me and my dad are in line to get one and once they put them out some big guy at the front of the line literally just picked up the whole tray and walked back to his table. There were like 30 cinnamon buns. Nobody else at his table.

Habs16

26. More Mouths to Feed

All you can eat prime rib special. First round you got prime rib, veggies, mashed potatoes. Subsequent plates just prime rib. Guy did eight plates

Lady came in with two small kids. Said she wouldn’t pay for two kids because they wouldn’t be eating. We were curious where the kids went at one point and found she was feeding them under the table like dogs.

samacerothstein

27. When the Stomachs Grumble, We Get Ready to Rumble

I watched a fight break out between a customer and a manager at an all you can stack restaurant. (You pay for a plate, and you can take as much as you can stack on a single plate) Anyway this guy had his plate stacked about a foot high with food. As he was reaching for a serving spoon, he dropped his plate. He demanded another and the manager got mad and told him he shouldn’t have stacked it so high. He refused to give the man a refund and pointed to a sign that said something about paying for dropped food. Apparently this wasn’t the first time this had happened.

Permalink

28. The Smell of Success

Once witnessed a man eat four plates of food piled high (I’m talking southern food, so it was all fried foods), claim he was having a heart attack, clutch his chest, and then let out the biggest, most foul-smelling fart I have ever experienced.

After he laughed about it, he continued to go back and eat two more plates of entrees, and a plate of desserts.

Permalink

29. When All You Can Eat is Just Not Enough

So, I work in an ‘all you can eat’ using tablets. This is (according to my boss) based on a Japanese kind of restaurant. We serve (mostly) Asian food, from Chinese to Japanese and even some Korean. The premise is that people order their food in rounds and we then bring the food to their table when it is ready.

We always warn customers beforehand that if they leave food behind because they ordered too much, they will have to pay extra. We have seen people try the weirdest stuff if it comes to not paying extra: people dumping food in their handbags to people shoving it in their mouths then going to the toilet to flush it. People even put hair on the leftover food and blame us for it. We see them pull all this stuff and more.

And when we actually catch them doing it, they blame us for it and refuse to pay. Some people let it come down to the police to sort it out sometimes, there have been multiple occasions on which they were involved to solve the problem for just five euros. I guess some people’s greed has no limit.

DemocraticDoge

30. Food Service is No Match for a Mother’s Service

I was just a witness, but I saw how a woman came in with about five kids and made them all sit at a table while she got food, even if they seemed old enough to get it themselves.

She just grabbed two trays, placed three plates on both of them and literally poured all the chicken nuggets on one plate so it was a huge mountain.

She did the same to five other dishes and left five pans that were full or almost full before she came empty.

Needless to say, people were mad, especially when she did it multiple times again with other dishes and would often glare at people if she saw them taking food from dishes she probably wanted.

roxan1930

31. Too Weird for This World

There was this man who used to come into our restaurant who clearly wasn’t all there in the head. He was functional but very weird. As the months progressed, he got WAY weirder. He started wearing women’s underwear over his clothes, even going so far as to stuff his bra. Picture a 6’2” 250lb dude with a baby face wearing silky underpants and a lace bra over ratty jeans and a stained Hawaiian shirt: that’s our guy.

He went from being able to hold a sort of normal conversation to just spouting conspiracy theory word salad. But the weirdest thing was his change of eating habits. He used to eat a variety of our soup/salad/baked potato options from our buffet, but as his mental health deteriorated so did his desire for variety, I guess. By the time his weirdness devolved to aggression and we had to 86 him, he was coming in for two things: pickles and ranch dressing.

He’d pile as many pickle slices as he could onto his plate, then put so much ranch on them the dressing and pickle juice would be running all over the tray. He’d eat it all, and his face would be covered in ranch and pickle bits. Then he’d drink water straight from the pitcher he inevitably stole from the wait station, sliming it with pickle ranch slobber. Never a dull moment with that dude around!

Pickle Boy, wherever you are today, I really hope you got the help you so desperately needed but I was not sorry to see you go.

For those who are asking about the term 86, in this case it means we kicked him out permanently.

cawatxcamt

32. No Restroom for the Restless Worker

Not an employee or a customer, but we had a Chinese buffet shut down for a health code violation. It turns out that an employee was cutting veggies while taking a dump. To this day, I still wonder if that means the dude brought a bucket into the kitchen or veggies into the toilet. I honestly don’t know which is worse.

darkagl1

33. Dig Your Teeth into This One

Family was gone. I saw their dirty plates with napkins crumpled on top, so of course I clean it up and bus the plates. 15 minutes later, they come back and the mom starts yelling at me in Spanish, so I get my co worker to translate and basically her daughter’s retainers were in the napkins and I already threw them away. She kept complaining about how they were $250 so I literally had to dig through a huge trashcan full of a sludge of food and drinks for 15 minutes. But fortunately, I found them, and the daughter thanked me, and she seemed embarrassed that her mom made me dig through the trash.

m2toofly

34. If You Can’t Keep Up, Don’t Get in the Kitchen

Not an employee, but I witnessed a marvelous thing.

Sitting in a small-town Chinese buffet. Three big dudes, not obese but farm-built big, come in. These guys proceed to just… clean house. Plate after plate after plate. They weren’t wasteful; they ate everything they took. They were very polite to the staff and other customers. But I bet each man ate a dozen plates, each stacked high. The cooks were working to keep up.

My family and I were watching this marvelous feat of eating unfold in awe.

When they approached the counter to pay, all this eating unfolding in only 45 minutes or so, the manager greeted them at the counter. In his broken English he simply said, “You men. You no pay… but you no come back.”

The guys gave each other and the manager a “yeah, fair enough” look and left.

chilibreez

35. A Cheap Meal Brings Out the Monster

I worked at a pizza buffet for two years during collage. I have a number of stories, but the one that I will always remember is the guy who got super upset that we wouldn’t make more dessert pizza when we were half an hour past closing time.

This guy comes in with his presumed wife and two children around 8:30. We close at nine o’clock. Nothing out of the ordinary happens until nine rolls around, where it was still commonplace for people to be finishing up and eating what pizza was still left. I was doing the dishes and taking the empty dishes back from the buffet and I see this guy, arms crossed and staring at me as I take the empty dessert pizza dish.

He says something to the effect of “When’s the next one coming out, I never got any.” I let him know that we close at nine, and we can’t really make anything past then because the oven gets shut off. Luckily, the manager overheard this and stepped in to back me up and I quickly scamper off to the back to continue the dishes.

He seemed pissed, but it wasn’t unheard of, as being a cheap pizza buffet, you don’t exactly bring in the most affluent folks. About five minutes later, as I’m finishing up the plates, the same manager comes barreling through the back door, out of breath. He grabs two of the long wooden pizza pushers and says come with me. I have no idea what’s going on, but I grab the pusher and follow him out the door. I learned later on that the guy started flipping out, throwing the register and a fishbowl.

He grabbed a broom and swung that around, hitting the girl behind the counter. This bit we caught on camera. As I exit from the back, this guy is screaming and ranting unintelligibly. He was just asking for a fight. He walked up to the manager, got all up in his face, and kinda choked him and pushed him back.

He came at me next, and I was really, really close to taking a swing at his knees or something but the other manager had quickly gotten back up and he resumed harassing him. After about two minutes of tiptoeing around a brawl, and his wife presumably screaming for him to get back in the car, he eventually gets in and they drive off. I won’t forget the glossed overlook in his eyes as he came after me. Freaks me out to this day.

crazyfoot369

36. Stay Away from the Soup of the Day

My wife and I went to a Sweet Tomatoes for a lunch date because the unlimited salad and soup was always good. One time, I saw a man over by the soups take the serving ladle for one of the weekly specials and take a big slurp from it. Then, apparently, he didn’t like it and spat it back out into the ladle and put the ladle back in the soup. WTF, dude.

I got up immediately and told the nearest staff what I’d seen, and they got right on getting that nearly full pot of soup out of there. I didn’t have any more soup that visit, the what-ifs were too damn strong. Which is a shame, because I love their chunky chicken noodle.

Saberus_Terras

37. Something Smells Fishy

I worked at a Shoney’s in high school. We had a breakfast buffet every day and a seafood buffet on Friday nights. You’d see stuff dropped in the wrong containers, cheese sauce splattered everywhere, people tasting things off the bar instead of at their seats. The leftover Friday fish fillets became fish chowder the next morning. The leftover chowder from Friday also became chowder the next day. My understanding is that you are not allowed to save cream-based soups and foods from one day to the next. We would serve that stuff all weekend. We also often had nasty slippery shrimp we would bread and serve.

I handled so much shrimp on a daily basis there that I smelled like dead fish nearly all the time, even after showering.

carlweaver

38. Melt Their Hearts, Not Their Food

Not a worker, sorry, but the Golden Corral in the city where I went to college got shut down thanks to an employee.

He found it odd that they made a busboy sign a non-disclosure form to work there. He found out it was because they were breaking just about every health and safety rule.

They were serving meat that had gone green, they would leave food out overnight, the freezer once broke down for three days, and they kept serving from it despite it being in the danger zone. He wore a hidden camera and gave the news the footage. It made me SO glad I never ate there.

UmbralApocrypha

39. The Napkins Are There for a Reason

Back when Golden Corral had just introduced their chocolate fountain, I was eating there (not a worker). When I was done eating and going for dessert, I approached the chocolate fountain. As I walked over there, I watched a kid sneeze directly into it. No attempt to cover his mouth, and his parents didn’t seem to care either. I was no longer interested in trying the chocolate fountain.

Indoorsman7

40. The Never Know When Your Last Meal is Your Last

I used to work in an all you can eat buffet. I would usually be the one who cleans up after people once closing hours pass. Essentially, I was the de facto janitor of the place.

This one time I had to clean the bathrooms after the place closed. No problems in the female bathroom, but when I went into the male restroom the image was burned into my retina instantly. An old man was lying on the floor, face down in a puddle of muck. Not just any sewage muck, but opaque, black muck. It had the color of motor oil. Smelled awful too, like a mix of fecal matter and rotting durian. Certainly, it didn’t help that the liquid wasn’t just smeared all over the floor but spread across the walls too. There were freaking handprints across the wall, presumably when the geezer was trying to stand himself up.

I peered into the toilet, more of that brown liquid, along with chunks of corny poop. There’s also this fluid in your digestion called chyme. It’s basically the thing right before food turns into poop, the pulpy acidic liquid with partially digested food in it. I could see scraps of chicken breast and sauce mixed in there with the pulpy chyme.

As for the old guy? Well, turns out, he didn’t merely faint. He actually died. I was in a room with a fresh, decomposing corpse in the stages of Algor mortis. He had his pants off, presumably because he pooped himself to death, but I don’t know. He emptied himself like one of those cement mixers you’d see in a cartoon. Except you just replace the cement with a liquid that embodies death itself.

Needless to say, I, like him, emptied my digestive contents, just from the opposite end that he did. After that I quit. Screw that place, man.

Mediocre_Liar

41. Move Over, Sweet Lips

Obligatory “not a buffet worker,” just a witness. We were waiting in line for the soft serve machine at Golden Corral. The woman in front of us gets up to the machine and awkwardly jerks the handle around in an attempt to get at the sweet, sweet ice cream within. She’s pushing, pulling, twisting, doing literally everything but turning it to the right (which would have dispensed the ice cream).

She’s really perplexed by this. So, she takes the next logical step, of course, which is to wrap her lips around the spout, form a seal on it with her mouth and start trying to suck it right out of the tap. One of the workers sees this and looks on in disgust before he unplugs the machine. On the way out, we see that he put an out of order sign on it, so thankfully they didn’t keep serving it after that whole incident.

Leigh_Lemon

42. No Everything Can Be Split

I used to work at Buffalo Wild Wings, and they would do a Monday night special of endless wings & fries for $15. I once served a dude who came in by himself and ate 75 wings over the course of about an hour. It helped that he asked for no fries with the order, but still…75 freaking wings, man.

Also, every week, without fail, I’d get at least one table who would try to “split” the all-you-can-eat. Like just order one order and feed several people with it. That’s not how any of this works…

ddeevv

Sources:1,2

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When Edward VIII’s baby brother Prince John died of severe seizure at only 13 years old, Edward’s response was so disturbing it’s impossible to forget.
43 Scandalous Facts About Edward VIII, The King Who Lost His Crown 43 Scandalous Facts About Edward VIII, The King Who Lost His Crown “I wanted to be an up-to-date king. But I didn't have much time.”—Edward VIII. For such a short-reigning king, Edward VIII of the United Kingdom left behind no shortage of controversy. First, there was the…
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The average person doesn't even get 50% correct. I guess it's hard to be smarter than an 8th grader...
Quiz: Are You Smarter Than An Eighth-Grader? Quiz: Are You Smarter Than An Eighth-Grader?
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I had an imaginary friend named Charlie. My parents asked what he looked like, and I always replied “a little man.” When we moved away, Charlie didn't come with us. My mom asked where he was, and I told her that he was going to be a mannequin at Sears—but that wasn’t even the most disturbing part. The years passed by and I’d forgotten my imaginary friend, but when someone told me a story about my old house, I was chilled to the bone.
People Describe Creepy Imaginary Friends from Their Childhood People Describe Creepy Imaginary Friends from Their Childhood “I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend—I didn't bother with him.”—George Carlin. Many adults had imaginary friends as children. At their best, these make-believe buddies were cute, helpful, and whimsical…
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The average person only gets 10 right. You muggles don't stand a chance...
Quiz: How Much Do You Really Know About Harry Potter? Quiz: How Much Do You Really Know About Harry Potter?


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