These Bizarre Neighbors Are A Nightmare

Everyone has neighbors, and everyone has one neighbor who stands out from the rest. They might be good, they might be bad, or they just might be odd. Here people share their stories of having to live near one of those neighbors. The ones who, for better or worse, make every day a day to remember and give everyone in the neighborhood something to talk about.


1. Neat Freak

One of the neighbors down the street vacuumed his driveway every single day. Not only that, but he liked to show off how clean his vacuum attachments were. He disliked one of his neighbors on the one side, so when it snowed, he would build a wall of snow between their houses. He just kept shoveling all of it into a giant pile so he wouldn’t have to see them. That’s not all.

He didn’t like snow in his yard—and his solution for that was truly deranged. He would shovel his side into garbage bags then put it in his backyard.

bingalings1

2. Peacock Problems

I lived in a suburban neighborhood growing up and one family had a nice sized lot and a few peacocks. Maybe chickens too, but mainly peacocks. No one else in that neighborhood had livestock. I’m not sure if wild peacocks are a thing somewhere, but they weren’t here. I saw a peacock walking in front of my house, so I called the kid and said, “Dude, tell your dad one of his peacocks is out.” His reaction blew my mind.

He called me back 10 minutes later and said, “Dad says it’s not one of his.” Who’s peacock was it?

blackgeorgewallace

3. Speed Demon

We had a woman down the street from us that everyone just called “the crazy lady.” The speed limit was 30 mph and if you went over 23 mph, she would come running into the street yelling at you to slow down. At all times of the day, she would be watching and waiting. She went to my friends’ parents to tell them how awful their child was at driving, even when they didn’t violate any laws, and how they should have their driving privileges taken away.

She would even follow you home, just to yell at you. She would often call law enforcement and ask them to have radar in the neighborhood or set up one of those speed signs. It became a game of how fast can you drive by her house? I would set the alarm off on the speed sign with my remote control cars, my bike, anything other than a car just to aggravate her. Other people just honked their horn as they drove by, and would give her the one-finger salute.

IAmTheWaIrus

4. What A Conehead!

My old neighborhood had a guy who lived right on the corner of my street. He was a construction worker but seemed to be laid off 11 months out of the year. So, he would set up huge orange cones in the middle of the street so his daughter could ride her bike. Then he would stand at the bottom of the driveway and mean mug anyone who drove past.

Not only that, but he would always have this smug look when he saw you driving slowly to intimidate you. You had to, but not because it was right along a sharp corner, there was a six-year-old on a bike nearby, and it was tough navigating around those giant cones he had in the street. That guy totally sucked.

Shaw-Deez

5. Time To Bury The Shovel

There’s a guy that lived directly behind my parents’ house that was very alienating to all of his immediate neighbors and hated dogs. For some reason, he singled out my mom and dad because they walked their little pooches around the block and inevitably by his house. When he would see them, he would run out of his house and begin cursing at them.

He would yell at them not to let their dogs step on his lawn. My dad tried to reason with him, saying that if they pee it’s just the tree lawn and he picks up their poop. It didn’t matter to this guy. He would regularly go ballistic over nothing. It boiled over a few years ago when my dad was walking our old dog, a puffy white Shih Tzu, and our other puppy, who was very friendly.

The puppy stopped and peed in the yard next to this guy’s, and he somehow heard or noticed this grievous action from his garage. He came storming down with a shovel in hand and threatened to “beat the dogs to oblivion if they came near his house again.” It really shook up my dad. My mom called law enforcement to talk about how this guy systematically terrorized them for reasons unknown.

My dad is so nice, he talked the officer out of going over to this guy’s house because he didn’t want there to be more friction. Well, I wasn’t about to let him get away with his awful treatment of my parents. Whenever I would house sit for them and take the dogs around the block, I made sure I linger on this guy’s lawn, spit on his driveway, and let the dogs go wherever. One time he was out watching me walk my hounds by his yard.

I looked up at him and asked if he’d like to bring his shovel down to talk with me. I’m significantly bigger than my dad. I also used to box and power lift six days a week. I have zero problems intimidating people, especially spineless twits that threaten a pair of 13-pound dogs and an almost 70-year-old man. Oddly he didn’t oblige and went inside without saying a word to me.

Fick_Darkas

6. Karaoke Kooks

We lived next door to a family with two daughters who sang acoustic covers of Taylor Swift songs out in their yard on a regular basis. Almost every day. They could get really obnoxious about it some days. On school nights they would go at it before dinner, but weekends were the worst. They owned a karaoke machine. Need I say more?

_suelovessurprises

7. City Hall Staredown

I lived in a small town where many people biked to work. I worked at City Hall, and every morning when I biked to work, there was this older guy in a blue jacket and HUGE hair, puffing away in the bike parking area. He would just stand there and stare at people as they went into City Hall. Whenever he saw me, he would start to walk over.

Then the frantic race of me trying to lock my bike and get away before he would come over began. One day, I dropped my bike key and spent a few extra seconds fumbling with it on the ground. This allowed him to reach where I had parked my bike. He stood there, about a foot away from me, just staring, not saying anything.

It was super creepy, so I quickly ran inside. He proceeded to stand there staring at my bike for about 10 minutes. He would always wear a big blue jacket, jeans, and pink crocs. He would come to the building’s parking lot every morning except when it rained. Sometimes I would see him scootering around town. I’ve always wanted to ask the other people in my office about him, but I’ve never heard anyone mention him.

Japandrew89

8. This Situation Is Not Coming Up Roses

We lived in a rather quiet neighborhood for almost 25 years. Most people were in their late 50s and up, and nobody had moved out except for the elderly couple in the house next to us. They were upside down in debt and the bank foreclosed on it. The house was sold to a seemingly nice older couple who decided to move to the burbs from the country after their floral business went under.

After months of them working on the house at odd hours, they finally moved in and we noticed some weird things. First, my mom walked into our backyard and saw that all the plants in the garden that backed up to the property line between our houses had those little wire twist ties around their stalks. We just chalked it up to him being a nice neighbor and helping our plants since he was a florist.

Next, he kept traipsing through our gate from our back yard after using his side door and then leaving the gate open. My parents were mad because it’s a security risk, and it was unnecessary for him to even be back there. My parents asked him to close our gate if he used it, hoping that he’d take the hint that he was on our property. They thought that would fix it—but they were so wrong.

Instead, he got nasty and told them that six inches of the fence connected to the gate was his and we couldn’t tell him what to do with something connected to his property. He then spray-painted “his part” of the chain link fence orange. Lastly, we looked out from our kitchen window into the backyard and saw a new lock with a bright red band around it on our shed.

This thing was ten feet from his property line, and full of our old junk, extra swings from the swing set, toy sprinklers, an old Weber grill, etc. We never really used it for anything more than storage anymore, but there’s no way anyone would think this wasn’t ours. My dad went out there with bolt cutters and opened it—and was so weirded out by what he found.

He found ten boxes full of old mail this guy had been keeping. It wasn’t even in envelopes. It was all just ads, phone books, and newspapers still in the little plastic bags. We dumped it on the guy’s porch with a note that said to stay off our property or law enforcement would be called and put a heavy-duty lock on the shed.

Officers showed up at our door two hours later. He had called them saying we were tampering with his mail. We told them what happened and showed them the pictures we had taken, and they told him to stay off the questionable property until we could get a surveyor out. The surveyor came out, confirmed our property line is where we said it was. His reaction was chilling. He said he didn’t believe them. He accused us of paying off the city and the surveyor. He started egging our house and dumping trash in our yard. He now has a restraining order.

SimplySweet24

9. Un Bee-lievable

I lived in a suburban neighborhood and my neighbor was a beekeeper. Our backyard had a low fence line as well, so the bees were always around us. For some reason, we seemed to have a lot of aggressive bees in Arizona. One day, before I went to feed my dogs, I noticed something weird on the tiles in the back. There were a lot of random black dots, so I went outside, only to find thousands of dead bees.

I talked to my neighbor and he said that half of his colony was dead. One colony found his and they fought over territory. My backyard was host to a giant bee fight!

helgh4st

10. It’s All A Ruse

I lived on a quiet suburban street and the neighborhood was pretty good. There was not much wrongdoing, a lot of young families, with a local council that actually took care of things. Then there was this one guy. He was an older retiree probably in his late sixties. His children had all moved out and he and his wife lived on the corner of the block.

Our street was a cul-de-sac so you would have to pass his house to leave the street. At first, he would lure you in with friendly conversation as you walked by saying things like, “Grass is looking pretty green today,” or something along those lines. Once you made eye contact and entered into a conversation you would never be allowed to leave.

He would continue to talk even after you said your goodbyes or mentioned you were running a little late. You would have to physically walk away while talking until you were out of earshot. A curt nod of acknowledgment with a smile was the safest greeting, and even that could be risky if you have somewhere to be in the next hour.

His vice grip conversations, however, weren’t the worst of it. For a long while, I took pity on him and thought ‘he must just be lonely’ or ‘he’s mostly harmless’. This was unwise. After becoming comfortable with you he would attempt to ‘help’ you. This would involve anything from taking your garbage bins out before you’ve filled them with garbage, to tapping on your window at 5 AM because the newspaper delivery man didn’t put your paper in the letterbox.

We even had instances where we found him in our back yard because he was ‘checking on the condition of our fencing,’ which was not so great, and once we found him adding chlorine to our pool. We asked him politely to not enter the property when we weren’t present, but he definitely didn’t listen or would forget at his convenience.

After you had reached this stage of neighborly relations, the real fun would begin. Because you hadn’t had the courage to stand up to his meddling, he saw you as an ally in his retiree turf wars. You were asked to sign a petition asking that the other retiree down the street be charged for driving too quickly on a quiet suburban street.

The gentleman in question was lovely and never exceeded 40 km/h, let alone the speed limit. He would ask you to report on neighbors’ whereabouts and if you refused, he would get confrontational and accuse you of taking sides. I could go on for hours listing his shenanigans. I even suspected that he poisoned one family’s trees because they were blocking the view from his window.

PurpleCookieMonster

11. Chair-man Of The Block

We had a relatively young neighbor move in a few months ago. He lived alone and wasn’t very actively social. He kept to himself, but he was a nice enough guy. Our neighborhood has a slight gang problem where these two groups of guys walk around screaming at each other and getting into fights. One day, they ended up fighting in front of his house at around 2 AM. I’ll never forget what happened next.

The ruckus woke up the whole street. I looked out my window just in time to see the new neighbor come out in his pajamas, screaming his head off in Japanese. The guys who were fighting yelled at him to mind his own business and they went back to pushing each other around. The young guy went back into his house and came back out with a plastic chair.

He literally and indiscriminately started beating the smack out of these guys with the chair. There had to be at least nine of them, and they were big. The young neighbor was about 5’6″, 5’7″ tops. They never managed to touch him. By the end of it, two of the bigger guys managed to run away, but the rest of them were out cold and bleeding on the sidewalk. It was like WWE in real life.

Doggydogman

12. Nonstop Nuisance

I managed a triplex building, so I have come into contact with all sorts of characters, but this one guy took the cake. He was the meanest, rudest, craziest person I had ever met. If the tenants in my building left a window on the ground floor open and were cooking, or watching television, he would come on over and scream through their open window that they were being too noisy.

When I told him that coming onto the property would be trespassing and in the future, I would press charges, he stayed on his side of the fence and screamed louder in the general direction of whatever window happened to be open. For the record, these weren’t overly noisy people. There is a fairly long, but only about 3-foot high fence separating his property from the triplex.

But he didn’t stop there. If I, or the tenants, did yard work, or if I hired a crew to do yard work, he would pick up trash on his side of the fence and throw it onto the freshly manicured lawn, claiming that, “We left it on his side,” when we did no such thing. He even waited until they’d finished with a section before throwing some piece of garbage onto it.

If the tenants sat out on the back patio, he would call law enforcement with noise complaints and whatnot, even if there was no music playing and they were just sitting there. One time officers came over and said they had reports of a party with escorts there. They were looking at one girl who lived there, who, quite frankly, was probably the most attractive person I had ever met.

She started bawling her eyes out, and her boyfriend had to explain that she was a tenant and not an escort. The officers left without saying anything to the old guy. As soon as the cruiser was out of sight, the old guy came up to the fence and said something so disturbing, it’s unforgettable. He told her, “If you didn’t want officers to be called you shouldn’t have been dressing like that.”

Then the old guy tried to fight the girl’s boyfriend, who teaches MMA and competes in tournaments. Toward the end of the summer, he hired some random guy to cut down all the trees on our side of the fence. Not just the branches on his side, the entire tree. I had a professional reputation to protect and lived in a fairly small city, so, unfortunately, there was not much I could do.

themasterkser

13. Saved By The Stump

I’m pretty sure my husband is “that guy.” We had a tree stump in our yard that was massive and unsightly. He spray-painted a target on it and was designated as our ax throwing tree. My husband could often be found in the yard throwing axes, knives, saw blades, etc. at the stump. He has ginger hair and a fondness for kilts, so we would get a lot of weird looks in our small town.

There was also a rash of break-ins in our neighborhood, but our property was never messed with. I think he scared the kids that were doing it into staying away from our yard.

monkeyweasels

14. Property Pigs

We lived in our house for 40 years. During the height of the boom, the house that shared the same back property line was sold to a couple who paid WAY too much money for it. When the market tanked, they started blaming the neighborhood for their house being underwater. Everyone else in the neighborhood had been there for over 20 years and would help each other out with lawn and house projects.

Over two years, this new couple would randomly stick wooden stakes on our property trying to claim it as theirs. They tried to cut down lilac bushes we had planted and cut down trees on their property that would cause flooding on our property. They put up a fence between them and another neighbor that was not allowed because they said the neighbor’s car was ugly.

After we caught one of them creeping through our yard at night measuring things. I knew how to finally get revenge. We called officers and the town council. They immediately told the couple to never set foot on our property again. I ended up paying $700 to get a surveyor out there the next day to map out the property, officially. I ended up gaining six feet, and the surveyor reported their fence, so they got fined. It was the best $700 I ever spent.

mittenthief

15. The Apartment Downstairs

One Christmas Eve, my husband, our one-year-old, and I had gone over to visit some friends down the road and got back home kind of late. As we approached our building, we made a chilling discovery. We noticed the glass door that led into the complex was shattered, with a fair amount of blood coating the frame and a trail of it leading to one of the downstairs apartments.

We called law enforcement, and while we waited, the woman from that apartment came out and started mopping up the blood trail. When officers arrived, the woman and her boyfriend were taken to opposite vehicles to be questioned, as were we. Our neighbors kept changing their stories. He had tripped and fallen into the door, she’d fallen into him, they’d been arguing and he slammed it in a rage, and so forth.

It finally came out that they’d been growing pot in the back bedroom, and had gotten into a heated argument over how much they were going to sell it for. She had pushed him, and he fell into the glass at just the right angle for his elbow to smack it, thus shattering it and tearing up his arm and side pretty badly. We wound up having to crash at a motel for the night while the damage was assessed and the crime scene cleaners did their thing.

fuzzypurpledragon

16. Make Up Your Mind

Directly across the street from me lived a single male, around 50 years old—and he had strange dating/break-up habits. He would date a woman for about six months to a year, and her car would pretty much be at his house every evening. Around that six-month or one-year mark, he would wave my wife and me down to have a chat when he’d see us outside.

He would say, “If you EVER see my girlfriend’s car parked here again, call me and tell me. She is NOT allowed to be on my property.” A few days would pass, and he would let us know that it was, once again, okay for her to be at his house. This has happened with about four different women.

CheeseWhistleMcStink

17. This Is One Messed Up Neighborhood

Instead of just one person, my whole neighborhood was chock full of THOSE people. At the top of the street was the so-called de facto neighborhood watch leader who had followed my friend’s car, honked constantly at my house only to drive away when I would go to see what was going on and sat at the top of the street asking anyone who entered the road if they were going to MY address.

Down the way a little bit, was a couple who minded their own business, but always had their dog outside barking. They also had, presumably, their adult son sit in front of the window naked at night. Across from them was an almost senile elderly woman, who had cinder block sculptures in her yard. The neighbors on my side consistently called law enforcement on my house, ranging from disturbing the peace to accusing my brother and me of taking things from their shed.

When an officer came to investigate, he informed us the neighbors believed we were the thieves, along with accusing us of selling illicit substances and turning the neighborhood into garbage. Well, the next day, the truth finally came out. it was revealed the thieves were some of the family’s son’s friends. The mother of the household was extremely cocky about the situation and flat out refused to accept her own son’s friends did it and refused to apologize for the incident.

However, the worst one of all was my neighbor across the street. He lacked any common sense and spent most of his time revving his motorcycle or driving his just as equally obnoxious truck. When we first moved in, he immediately stated that we were NOT to use his driveway for parking, which was understandable and which we never intended to do because…why would we?

Throughout the months I had officers knock on my door around a dozen times, ranging from theft claims to claims our cars were blocking the neighbor’s driveway. Each time the officers were extremely polite to us and were on our side, realizing what the neighbor said was a lie. He threatened us with a weapon as well as repeatedly told us not to “try anything” as he had his whole yard hooked up with cameras.

He took pictures of my friends’ license plates and would call law enforcement to try and dig up ANYTHING incriminating, even something as minuscule as a slightly outdated sticker. We served him with a trespassing notice, and he upped his ante. Now I have officers knocking on my door about once a week and they are just as sick of him as we are.

fneighbors

18. Go Away Doggone-It

My one neighbor would try to organize huge doggy play dates. She would try to get upwards of 20 dogs together in this 50×50 fenced area our apartment complex provided. If you didn’t go, she would knock on your door and ask if she could take your dog without you. My dog didn’t like being crowded with a bunch of other dogs that were twice his size, and I didn’t need her to tell me how to take care of my pet!

He’s happy and healthy. I wish she would quit knocking on my door!

dork_fish_

19. Total Eclipse Of The Spot

I was living in an apartment a while back. We all got two parking spots, I used one for my car and the other for my motorcycle. My neighbor had a newer Eclipse and a big 4-door 4×4 truck that would barely fit in the spot. One day I came out to notice that the Eclipse was completely over the line into my parking spot, next to my motorcycle.

I brushed it off and figured it would stop. After about a week of her taking up more and more of the spot, to the point where their car was right next to my bike, I decided to take action. I moved my bike and parked my car inches away from hers. About two hours later, my door was being beaten upon. I opened it to find my neighbor, who happened to be about 5’2″, 300 pounds, and one of the ugliest women I have ever seen in my life.

She was cursing and yelling about how she needed to go to work and I had her car blocked in. I knew exactly what to say. I looked at her and suggested that she climb into her car from the passenger seat. This infuriated her further since it is obvious with her size this would be impossible. She then said she was going to call the housing manager and have my car towed.

I pointed out that I was WELL inside of my parking spaces and welcomed her to call. She pointed out that since she had two “real” vehicles and they didn’t both fit well inside of her parking spots, that she was somehow entitled to some of mine since I only had a motorcycle and smaller car. I laughed at her and headed inside.

I watched out my front window for about five more minutes while she stomped around yelling at people on the phone, getting more and more frustrated as she went on. She has realized that almost no matter what happens, she was going to be late for work, so she called her work crying. I let another couple of minutes pass.

Once I saw the look of defeat overcome her face, I walked out and moved my car. Huffing, she crammed herself into her compact car and drove off, obviously without a word of thanks. We lived next to them for another couple of months before they started a fire in their apartment and almost burned the whole place down. She didn’t cross that line again.

Permalink

20. Nosey Neighbor

We have a nice wooded area behind my parents’ house where my brother and the other boys from the neighborhood would go play paintball. This one time when my brother was walking back home, a woman called law enforcement on him because he had his paintball gun out while he was walking back. Despite being covered in paint and having the gear on, she saw the weapon and freaked out. I get it, not a huge deal.

Officers came, asked my brother a couple of questions, and reassured the lady that it was just a 12-year-old with a toy. That should have been the end of it—but it wasn’t. This woman proceeded to tail us whenever she saw any of us leaving the development. The neighborhood is nice and full of families who walk around with their kids at night.

So, whenever my mom would go for a walk around the neighborhood to get some air, this lady would follow her. She would also stand on her porch to watch my dad every time he stepped outside to have a smoke. Once, we were pulling into our development at the same time and she pulled into our driveway after me to “introduce” herself and ask invasive questions. One was, “So how long do you guys plan on living here?”

skintessa

21. The Sounds Of Sirens

The neighborhood I lived in had several characters—but the strangest had to be the siren dude. He was maybe 35-40 years old, skinny, and bald. He would walk around the neighborhood at seemingly random hours pulling a small cart behind him with whatever he felt like having that day, imitating siren noises with his mouth.

It didn’t matter what time of day it was either. He would sometimes wake me up at 7 AM, and other times, I would see him strolling around during the day, or even at 1 AM. He made high-pitched noises that sounded like cruisers pulling you over. You could hear him coming from a few streets away until he would walk by, and wave to you. If you made a siren noise at him, he would continue on his way. It was so weird.

yesitsnicholas

22. Boombox Boomer

There was a fit guy who was about 55, who rode around on his bike in a 90s wind suit kind of getup and played a boombox. He used to have a set up where the music played from small speakers bungee-corded to the back shelf area of his bike, but then he upgraded it to a fully installed, encapsulated system that would light up. He would just ride, sit, and listen to old school Motown and early hip hop for hours.

Banter725

23. The Second Coming

In my first apartment, I lived next door to a guy who was pretty much the second-coming of The Dude. He had shoulder-length hair, was often seen in a flannel bathrobe, and regularly offered me White Russians from his porch where he was blasting classic rock. He also had the most adorable four-year-old daughter ever who spent most days with him.

He often had friends come in and out of his apartment and would tell stories that went like, “One time, I was at a Grateful Dead concert in Indianapolis…And then three days later, I woke up at a Grateful Dead concert in Cincinnati…” He kept an eye on me, since I lived by myself, which was nice, and would invite my then-boyfriend and me over for dinner with him and his daughter. We still keep in touch.

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24. No More Room In The House?

There’s a woman in my town who has a house but lives in her car, in the driveway of said house. A car that, I’m almost certain, doesn’t even run. She’s seen at least once a week walking around our neighborhood picking up any trash she finds, which she then brings back to her house. She then throws it in a huge pile in her backyard.

The pile is so big, it could probably fill an industrial-sized dumpster. It’s a miracle she hasn’t been fined by the township for it, or maybe she has we don’t know. She’s never spoken to anybody. We are not even sure if she can speak. We have attempted to ask her questions, but she just smiles and continues walking. Weird.

Moosemancer

25. Don’t Drink The Water

I lived in a suburban town in New Jersey before I went away to university. There was this one field behind a church that all the town kids used to go to hang out at. There was a jungle gym, four baseball diamonds, a basketball court, a concession stand that was open on the weekends, and a big open field to run around in.

The only issue was that there were only two ways to get into this field, and they were about half a mile away from each other. Therefore, if you didn’t want to add an extra 10 minutes to your journey, then you had to walk past the “water guy’s” house. The water guy would stand outside his house every day from March until October, straddling a bicycle and saying, “Don’t drink the water,” to anyone that walked by.

His voice was very reminiscent of Hector Herbert from Family Guy, although not quite as high pitched or whistle-y. It got so bad that parents complained to the town. However, being weird isn’t an actionable offense and he never did anything but stand on his lawn and say, “Don’t drink the water” to passersby. This went on for the entire time I lived there. He was by far the weirdest guy I have ever seen in my life.

EmergencyTaco

26. Sweeper Swiper

We have this one family on our block. There must have been at least 10 people living in a modest-sized row home. Once when it snowed heavily, I had to dig my car out with my shovel and I also brought a broom to sweep it off. I barely got my car out, but I left the shovel and the broom next to my spot which was right in front of their house.

I forgot it at first, so I figured I would just circle the block and pick it up. Sure enough, I came back around and the shovel was gone and standing where it used to be was their 12 or 13-year-old daughter holding my broom. I asked her for it back and she started telling me I had to prove it was mine. At this point, I was furious.

I told her to leave the broom and get her parents. Of course, she ran inside with the broom and locked the door. I started pounding on the door for 10 minutes. No one answered. I was confused as to why anyone would want to take a broom! My only hope was they used it to clean the mess they lived in. I knew this because their front door was always wide open when they were outside. Luckily, they moved.

deebojones

27. A Man’s Castle Is His RV

I have a neighbor who speaks with a Western Massachusetts Hilltown drawl. He renovated his house so that it is now at least one-half auto garage, so he could park his RV inside during the winter months. He would get sloshed and drive his daughter’s Barbie power wheel around the neighborhood, often ending with hilariously injurious results.

He would often yell at people driving too fast down on our street, every so often kicking the doors or tail lights of said violators. Apparently, he has lived on the same corner of the block his entire life, having grown up in the house right next door to his current one. Overall, he is a pretty helpful dude and totally rocks.

organ_eyes

28. Can’t Get Better Than This

Our next-door neighbor was the nicest guy in the whole world. He’s an old Vietnam Veteran who connected with my husband and me because he found out we’re both Veterans, ourselves. Every week he brought home freshly baked bread rolls from work and would give us a big bag full. He would also invite us to bring our two-year-old son over to check out the latest model plane he built.

He would always offer to help me clean my car off after a snowstorm, and he is just generally the nicest guy ever. We would try to repay his kindness by bringing in his mail when he would go visit his daughter and by bringing over baked goods that I’ve made. He’s just the kind of guy who brings out the best in anyone he meets.

poop_squirrel

29. Window Watcher

There used to be an old lady who’d lean out her second-floor window every day, just watching the neighborhood. She would just stare at everyone for hours. Last summer she stopped and we assumed she’d passed away. Then a couple of months ago I saw her again. It turns out she and her housemate don’t use the upper floor anymore.

I guess hanging out the lower windows is less appealing. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed seeing her being weird until she wasn’t there anymore.

aveganliterary

30. Slip-N-Slide Set Up

Our neighbor would have a bonfire going every day. One day he decided to put a TV in front of the bonfire and he would put a trash bag over whenever it would rain. He then got a gigantic banner that said something, something “USA” that he used as a slip and slide. He also had a taped-up hose on the side of his house that he would use to water his plants and slip and slide, which were fantastically set up next to his barbecue grill.

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31. Balcony Boneheads

The balcony people at my apartment complex. There are two to four of them who would always be out on their balcony chatting nonstop. I don’t know how they have conversations because it seems like they are always talking over each other. They would listen to a radio station that had terrible reception loudly on the balcony at 3 AM in the middle of the week. I’m pretty sure that is not a requirement for anything.

statuepractice

32. Slingblade Sorrow

We called him Slingblade. He introduced himself when we first moved into the area. He was in his mid-50s, wore overalls, and lived in the shed behind the neighbor’s house. He said he would, “Never bother anybody. Except for some nights you might see me drinking a little and dancing around the burn barrel.” Which he did, quietly.

He showed us how to properly use a maul to chop firewood. He also let us know when strangers stopped by when we weren’t home. He kept to himself and never asked for a lift to the store that was two miles down the road. One day we saw the neighbor chasing him down the road with an ax handle. The day after that I saw him hanging out downtown with the homeless people. I kept hoping to see him again, but haven’t in several years. I hope he’s doing well.

SomethingTurtle

33. Grudge Holding Granny

Our ridiculously awful and crotchety old neighbor had an ongoing feud with my grandparents, who moved into the area over 30 years ago. The woman called the city on my grandfather when he was renovating because she was sure he hadn’t applied for permits and wanted to get him in trouble. To her surprise, he had. She then called saying the front yard was a mess.

In our city, if you have a bunch of stuff on your lawn, such as spare tires, car parts, or other attractive things, you can be forced to remove them. We had a full garden instead of a lawn, so we wouldn’t have to mow. The inspector agreed it was ridiculous because it is clearly a garden and not an eyesore. She would also wash her driveway after the rain, wasting water, as well as her car every two weeks. This, despite the fact she was in her 80s and never went anywhere.

She would mow her lawn in diagonal stripes and flat out screamed at her daughter when she mowed it the wrong way once. Every time someone new moved into the neighborhood, she would “warn” them about us. We still have no idea what she would say, but we know she would do it, because of her other feud with a new neighbor.

A young family moved in beside her with their two lovely children—they didn’t know what they were getting into. She would engage in extremely passive-aggressive tactics until things blew up and the man and she got into a screaming match on their front lawns. The neighborhood is well to do. People screaming on their front lawns is something you wouldn’t expect to see here.

While they were screaming at each other, my grandma was out front working on the garden, something she does regularly. The crotchety neighbor decided to call over to my grandmother, telling her to mind her own business. Next thing I knew my grandfather was screaming over to her to mind her own business, as we are on our property.

The man came over shortly afterward and we talked about the crotchety neighbor, and he confirmed that she had warned them against talking to us.

TickTick_Tick

34. Clean Freak Ken

When I lived in the city, there was Ken. I only knew Ken’s name because when we moved into the house, the landlord said, “Oh, and that’s Ken’s place.” I never met Ken, but I would watch from afar, as my bedroom window overlooked a room in Ken’s house. I’m pretty sure it was either his bathroom or his kitchen, which means one of two things.

Either he did his dishes by hand every night as naked as the day he was born, or every night he stood in the bathroom and vigorously scrubbed his junk for sometimes upwards of a half-hour. My girlfriend at the time and I used to get wasted and watch him. Sometimes even in the middle of getting busy, one of us would casually go, “Ken’s back,” and we’d giggle to ourselves.

The funny thing is, he kept the curtains in place during the day, so I never had a reasonable chance to peek in some more. He kept to himself. We kept to ourselves. And every night he would clean the bejeezus out of something with the curtains pulled back, daring the world to peek in on his proud vulnerability.

reverendsteveii

35. Barefoot And Bananas

There used to be a girl who lived in my neighborhood who was downright crazy. She would always walk around with no shoes on and hated me because I dated someone she was into, who also happened to live in the neighborhood. She came over to my house late one night and harassed me a couple of times, usually when she knew my parents were gone.

When I refused to come outside, she broke a car window with a rock. I’m so glad I will never have to see her again.

thepurpleskittle

36. What Kind Of Wizardry Is This?

We have a guy who was known as “The Wizard of Belgrave.” You would just see him walking around with his walking stick/staff. It doesn’t matter what time of day or night, it could be 7 AM or midnight, he was always walking. We would also see him in different suburbs, over 40 km (25 mi) apart. He would occasionally stop and cast spells on people.

nbg91

37. Attention Seeker

When I was between 10-13 years old, there was a girl next door who was two years younger than me. Her parents were extremely strange. We hardly saw them. The girl was basically an only child, as her older sibling was about 20 years older than her. As a result, she constantly craved attention from all the kids around us.

There would be times we would all be playing together, and she would just act weird. For example, she would try to lick us or would brag about things regarding her parents. However, the weirdest encounter I ever had with her was when it was just me and her in her house. She asked if I wanted to see something cool, so obviously, I said yes. I’ll never forget what she did next.

She then brought me to her bathroom, where she grabbed a diaper and proceeded to undress her bottom half and put on the diaper. She then had me watch as she pooped herself in the diaper. She even took the diaper off and showed me the poop to prove she had just gone in the diaper in front of me. This may have been the weirdest encounter I have had with anyone, EVER.

aIsiduous

38. This Ain’t No Country Club

Some neighbors lived a block away, on the same block as a country club and golf course. Million-dollar riverfront homes would start about seven houses away from them. However, they wouldn’t ever cut their lawn, or clear their snow. They would keep a pile of old mattresses and garbage in their backyard/alley. They would also have ‘meetups’ in their front yard, complete with cars parked on the sidewalk and bonfires.

I even caught one of them going through my shed last summer at 2 AM.

FruitbatNT

39. Serial Mower

I lived next door to a guy who would mow his grass every single day. He was nice enough to start at 8 AM, although I think that was only because according to the law, that was the earliest he could do it. Same thing with the rain. As soon as it was over, out came the mower. At that time I would work until 2 AM or 4 AM, so sometimes I didn’t get to bed till 6 AM. It sucked, and earplugs didn’t seem to help much. I moved out ASAP.

evanessa

40. The RC Man

I’m in a new neighborhood and THAT guy, thus far, is this guy who is 50ish and has a ton of RC vehicles. He often sits on his porch and speeds them around. I’ve seen half a dozen different cars and a helicopter. The other day I saw two boys playing with their RC car. One ran over and knocked on the guy’s door. They talked for a minute, and the kid ran back over to his friend and they both brought their car to him. He began working on it, apparently fixing it.

TaddWinter

41. Trail Of Destruction

My next-door neighbors had a daughter who was an addict. She would come around fairly often. She looked like Mickey Rourke in booty shorts and would wear an undersized tank top, and had a super bleached, teased mullet. She would usually help her elderly parents with yard work, etc., and was always nice to me. Her arrival, however, was usually accompanied by screaming matches with her friends.

Her little dog would be yapping and pooping everywhere too. There was even paraphernalia left in the yard, and sometimes she and her friends would appear to stash drugs/stolen goods in the shed that was out back. I’ve seen her mow the lawn in a negligee and nothing else. She would arrive with different people and cars nearly every time she showed up. The rest of my neighborhood was normal, but I swear sometimes looking out my back door was like going to the zoo.

RocketFarmer

42. Green Acres Is The Place To Be

My 72-year-old neighbor is the best. He climbed up on my roof in the freezing rain to help me patch it without asking. He let me use his boat to take my son fishing. I came home one Sunday afternoon and he gave me three dozen brown eggs and six pounds of bacon. He has orange and grapefruit trees that he gives me fruit from.

I borrowed a five-gallon gas container from him one time to get gas for my lawnmower. I returned it full, even though I got it empty and he refused to take it back. I had to put the gas in my truck to empty it before he would take it back. I thought moving from the city to the country was going to be bad, but thanks to him it’s the best move I ever made.

xwhocares3x

43. This Old Man Needs To Go

Our boring suburbia has but one issue—this old man. He has knowingly loaded and pointed a weapon at kids playing at night, tried to poison his neighbor’s dog, and threw boards with nails pounded into them into the bottom of a neighbor’s 3-foot pool. He also brings shady people around and was taken in for filming underage kids doing various things.

Hybriddecline

44. He Restored My Faith

My neighbors restored all sorts of cars. It’s cool, but not what you want to hear at 4 AM. I went over once when they were working on a car in their driveway to tell them that I thought the car was awesome. I then asked if they could try and be a bit more mindful. I explained that I understood that it is almost impossible to not be loud in that car, but I would appreciate it if they could keep from any unneeded revving and loud music until they got it moving.

If not, I asked if I could trade them cupcakes for a chance to drive it. We had a good laugh and they apologized. They worked nights/early mornings so they were so used to that being their middle of the day. They hadn’t thought anything of it. They let me drive it up the road and back too which was awesome. I made them car-themed cupcakes, and I was finally able to get some sleep.

A_Euonym

45. What A Treat

I used to live across the hall from a couple. The man worked for a major tech firm and the woman worked part-time, so they seemed pretty comfortable. I was living with two pretty much broke guys at the time, and I think they must have noticed our complete lack of housebroken-ness. Twice a week, we would get a knock on the door with a basket full of tasty treats. It had everything from tandoors full of delicious meat, to baskets of bread and pastries.

The woman was an absolute gem and was always there if we needed advice on something house-related. Without her, I would still be doing laundry once a day. Although the husband didn’t drink, now and then he would come over to hang out. They’d never take money, never ask for favors unless we offered, and they would always have a smile on their faces. They genuinely just seemed to enjoy being part of the community and helping out.

Permalink

46. This Guy Blows Me Away

Growing up, I had a neighbor who would leaf-blow his yard EVERY SINGLE DAY. Without fail around 3 PM that annoying wail of the blower would start up and go for at least a half-hour. On weekends he would start at 9 in the morning. He would begin on his roof, then blow off his whole yard. One day he couldn’t get it started.

He threw it in the garage, got into his car, and bought a new one an hour later. My neighbor’s kids glued leaves on his driveway to mess with him. Rain would only postpone the annoyance. Once it had stopped raining for a few minutes, he would be out there. In the summer, when I would get home after a long day at work, I would just want to take a nap.

Without fail, as soon as my head hit the pillow, I would hear that dreaded whir.

dontbthatguy

47. The Phantom Neighbors

My story is a bit different—but still totally weird. I have lived two houses away from the same neighbors for 20 years and have never seen them. None of the other neighbors have seen them either, but they do exist. The light on their garage door turns on at night and off during the day. They drive their car into the garage, then close the door. When they leave, they open the garage door once they are already in their car and drive off.

The windows on the car are tinted, so you can’t see in. They don’t answer the door when you ring the doorbell and put a “no candy” sign on the door during Halloween. They have no mailbox by the curb, instead, you have to put it in the door mail slot, and they hire people to do yard work. I think they must be serial killers.

Truckyouinthebutt

48. Your Term Is Up!

I had one neighbor who was the self-appointed mayor of the block. He would tell me all the time what I was doing wrong, from having my sprinklers on at the wrong time to not properly sorting my recyclables. I took his suggestions under advisement and even read the four-page typed note he wrote to me about the correct timing of the crabgrass preventer.

One evening, when I was cleaning off my deck, he walked up and began telling me about the latest landscaping issues. My niece, who was 13 at the time, was showering off after being in the pool. She walked out in a robe from the shower area and slung her suit over the fence to dry. I thanked him for his vast landscaping knowledge and told him we were off to dinner and shooed her inside.

I closed the slider and remembered I left the hose on, so I slipped the door back open and I saw her suit slid over the fence. I took two steps to the edge of the deck expecting to see her bathing suit on my grass. That’s when I spotted him—and it was the most disturbing sight of my entire life. The mayor was on his hands and knees in my grass, sniffing the suit crotch. We had a long talk about how he was going to come with me to the station.

c3h8pro

49. Stay In Your Lane

I lived in an apartment complex with assigned spots, and every day this person in a white Civic encroached into my parking spot. So every day I was parking closer and closer to her car. I was getting good at parking close enough to her, without hitting her. One day I was walking to my car to head out to work, and I saw her climbing through her passenger side door to get into her car, cursing up a storm.

She saw me, we locked eyes as she was climbing over her middle console. She started her car and drove away. Since that incident, she has stayed in between the lines of her own parking spot.

staygolden17

50. No Parking Zone

I lived in a duplex that shared one large driveway with another duplex. Parking could be tight, but all of us cooperated and made the best of it, except for one woman. She left a note on my car two days after my husband and I moved in, telling me not to park there because she didn’t like that I was “in front of her door.”

I was at least 15 feet away from her house and that was the only spot I could park in without blocking anyone else. I left her a note back explaining this. She banged on my door at 11 PM and screamed at us, calling me the c-word, and demanding that I get rid of my car. We eventually shut the door on her. The nasty notes persisted and were ignored.

I confirmed with my landlord that this is where I should be parking and he said yes, ignore her. Then, she started barricading that part of the driveway, so that every day when I got home, I would have to get out of my car and move her stuff before I could park. This became a real pain in the neck when I broke my elbow.

She used her trash can, a pedestal with a birdcage on it, and a bench to block the driveway and I had to move all of them to park. I started just picking them up and gently moving them towards her porch. Then she came up with something else. She started putting Vaseline on them. I grabbed her trash can and got a gloppy handful of Vaseline. Sure enough, everything else was coated in it as well.

I decided to use my foot to push everything up against her house. Mind you, nothing was damaged or knocked over, just moved. She called law enforcement and reported that she saw me vandalizing her things by picking them up and throwing them into her house, kicking stuff over, and smashing them into the ground. The officer was angry.

He thought that I was the teenage girlfriend of the guy who lived there, not the adult leaseholder. So he pounded on the door yelling, “Sheriff’s department! Come outside!” We went outside. He pointed to me and asked, “Are you the girlfriend!?” I resisted the urge to say something snarky in response to what I found to be a misogynistic and demeaning statement.

He went off on me saying, “Your behavior needs to stop right now, I don’t know where you’re from, but in [town] we do not tolerate this kind of disrespect blah blah blah!” Well, he didn’t know what he was in for. 15 minutes later, once we’d gotten a word in edgewise, he changed his tune pretty quick. He realized he’d been misled by our neighbor. We told him we were sorry he got dragged into a petty parking dispute.

He told us he’s been dragged into stupider stuff and told us that if she puts up the barricades again, to call them instead of moving it ourselves, to protect ourselves from false allegations. In fact, he wanted us to call any time she does anything to harass us. She also received a mean letter from the landlord telling her to knock it off.

We got a mean note from her saying, “The reason I don’t want you parking by my door is because you are trash! Your druggie psychopath girlfriend runs amok vandalizing! I want nothing to do with you,” among other things. We called law enforcement and she got spoken to by them, and the landlord sent her another mean letter. Hopefully, that’ll be the end of it.

stuck_at_starbucks

Sources: 1, 2

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