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Alumni Share Their Funniest High School Memories

Steven Y

High school is a unique time in most of our lives.

The combination of learning about life, growing into adulthood, and spending all our time with the same group of people for four years tends to create a period of unmatched drama and chaos for many. As annoying as that can be, at times it can also be downright hilarious. I’m sure that just about every one of us can remember at least one moment from our high school stints that made us laugh harder than anything before or since—and that has stuck with us throughout the years.

Here are 42 such moments, as told by the people who witnessed them firsthand.


42. Getting the Last Laugh

The biggest laugh I ever received in my life was during mass at the end of my senior year of high school. I went to a Catholic school, so for my religion credit I played guitar at our monthly masses and this other guy played piano. Last mass of the year, he’s sick so I have to play both instruments. So when they’re bringing the bread and wine to the altar, the choir director says “hey, you have to play something on piano here!” I ask what she wants me to play and she says “I don’t know, anything!!”

So I played “The Final Countdown” by Europe and got detention for the rest of the year. But, I also got a huge laugh from the audience, so it was totally worth it.

zackhankins74

41. Pomp and Circumstance

We blasted the audio of an adult film over the speakers in the auditorium while the principal was trying to give a speech to everyone about graduation procedures. I filmed it too.

zoom1208

40. What’s So Funny?

The year was 2007. It was fifth period, history class. I was sitting in the front row with a clear view of the hallway. It was a mundane lecture until, out of the corner of my eye, I see a moderately attractive classmate walking in the hallway. Two seconds later she intersects with her friend. All of a sudden, her friend “pantses” her, causing her to trip and do a face-plant. I burst out laughing but, to my horror, no one else noticed. As a result, I was forever labeled as the dude who started randomly laughing during a very serious history lecture. Sigh.

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39. Surprise Ending

My school had a very crotchety librarian in her mid-to-late sixties. She’d yell at kids for eating or using their phones or making too much noise or any little thing. One time, there were a group of kids gathered around a computer laughing loudly. She starts to march over and asks “what’s so funny?” A smart aleck kid replied, honestly, with “dirty jokes.”

“Dirty jokes?” she says angrily. Then without breaking stride, she adds ” I loooove dirty jokes!”

whiteddit

38. He’ll Never Live This One Down

One of my friends got into a heated verbal argument with his sister in front of about 50 other students. He was so flustered and pissed off that, when he tried to say “I’m gonna kick your freakin’ butt,” he accidentally said “I’m gonna grab your freakin’ butt!” instead. The sister was so embarrassed that she wasn’t even mad anymore. Ten years later, we all still bring it up to him. Even his wife laughs about it now.

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37. High Crimes and Misdemeanors

The funniest thing that happened to me in high school was when I received a completely serious and legitimate detention for “Attempted Theft of a Pineapple.” That is now on my permanent record forever…

jvalordv

36. A Father With a Sense of Humor

As a Junior at a Catholic high school, I had to take morality class. It was essentially a class that described the church’s stances on modern social issues. Well, one day, we were talking about the issue of sexting and Father was describing the characteristics he saw whenever stuff like that was brought to the school’s attention.

He told the class that when girls sext, they’re usually full body nudes and they’re smiling. When boys sext, it’s usually just a picture of their junk and nothing else.

The golden moment came when my friend blurted out “You know what they say Father, one man’s junk is another man’s treasure.”

Father was known for being pretty laid back, and he thanked my friend for having the “wittiest comment of the year.”

itszkk

35. Gotcha!

My friends set up two WWE wrestling figurines in the hallway, and we all made a circle around them yelling “GET HIM! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!” The principal and a few male teachers came sprinting down the hallway to break up the “fight.”

The looks on their faces were hilarious when they realized no one was actually fighting. I’m still in tears laughing about it.

jennadorazio

34. Form Matters

Two kids were posturing, wanting to fight. Neither had ever been in a fight in school before. One of the kids had clearly never done that chest-bumping thing before that people do to initiate fights. He kept ramming his crotch against the other kid’s. It was a rhythmic unintentional grind that went on for about ten seconds until a security guard came and broke it up.

Secretly, I thought I was the only person to notice it. Then, the next day, everybody was making fun of it. I guess it was way more obvious than I thought.

lawjr3

33. A New Kind of Marching Band

A prankster at my school stripped to his underpants, gave himself a wedgie, taped a party hat over his crotch, and paraded through the halls playing the bagpipes. It was his last day before graduating, but I hear he’s banned from the property now. Sad, as it really was the greatest thing I’ve ever witnessed.

LeslKet

32. It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s…

One day in Sophomore year, a guy in our last class of the day gets a phone call right in the middle of the lecture. He pulled out his phone and said “hold on, I gotta take this,” to the look of utter shock on everyone’s faces. Then he goes “WHAT? Really!!” He hangs up his phone, stands up, and goes “duty calls!”

Then he rips his shirt off to reveal a full Superman costume underneath, with boots, cape, and everything. He takes off and starts running around in the hall. We saw him run by twice with the school cop chasing after him. He ended up hiding the rest of class in a bathroom. And got a week’s suspension.

So. Worth. It.

RedMistKnight

31. How Do You Say “Yikes” in French?

We had a French teacher we didn’t like. A kid used her kettle as a toilet.

We were amused.

rabtj

30. The VIP Treatment

As a pre-freshman, the summer before beginning ninth grade, I started helping out as a student trainer. I helped all the football guys stretch, ice, tape, etc. I also had to deliver Gatorade. Every football player from freshman to varsity knew me.

School starts, and a senior in one of my classes started giving me the business—calling me waterboy and stupid things like that. Our first pep assembly is held, and as the entire school walks out of the gym, that senior stops me in the main hall, pulls out a penny, and yells to the gathering crowd about how this freshman is about to push a penny. Just as he turns back to face me, the entire varsity defensive line walks up, picks the guy up by his arms, and walks him out the back of the school. Everyone is in shock, as the QB turns to me and says “let me know if someone tries to treat you like a freshman.”

I don’t know what happened outside. But the guy never said a word to me, and would cross to the other side of the hall if he saw me from that day on.

chocki305

29. Hay!

A girl started crying while giving a presentation about horses. Turns out she used to have a horse, but it had to be put down. Someone asked if the horse had one of those clever horse track names, and another student blurted out “Shooting Star!”

The entire classroom erupted, and the girl ran out of the room crying. Even the teacher was fighting back giggles while trying to bring order back to the classroom.

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28. Let’s Get Crackin’

As a Junior in high school, I would take a few packs of saltine crackers from the cafeteria each lunch and put them in my locker. The plan was to do something spectacular for a Senior prank with all of the crackers. Anyway, my locker doesn’t completely shut and can swing open if someone pulls on it. So I was sitting in the hall one day when nobody at all was there. My teacher and his little kids came into the hall and, out of all the lockers, the kid decides to fidget with and pull on mine. The saltines flood out everywhere and my teacher just gets the most confused look on his face. I hid my smile and to this day he has no idea why a locker was full of crackers. It’s funny to me at least.

A_Game_of_Scones

27. Taking One for the Team

A kid accidentally walked directly into the main doors of the high school in the morning, and his enormously dense skull shattered the inch-thick glass. There was blood everywhere, but we were highly impressed.

squiznard

26. Music to My Immature Ears

Every day back in high school, a friend of mine would suck air up his butt like he had a pair of butt lungs, and then would rip out the loudest and longest farts I’ve ever heard in the middle of class. It was a sad day when he was eventually expelled from school.

ballisticturtle

25. The Pizza Plot

My friends and I ordered pizza, against the school rules, and had it delivered to the school. When it arrived, all the teachers were so upset trying to figure out who did such a thing. Meanwhile, me and my friends smuggled it inside and sat down in a private area to eat it. All of a sudden, one of the cool teachers walks up and we’re sure he’s going to bust us for being the culprits. But nope—he just asked if he could have a piece. So we gave him one, he ate it, and moved along. We all shared a laugh and tried to do it again a couple of weeks later.

Stop_Wastin_Time

24. Nip It In the Bud

This is funny now that I think of it, but at the time it happened it was quite embarrassing.

I was put in the cheerleading class by mistake at the beginning of tenth grade. It was glorious at first, because I was the only guy in the middle of 20+ beautiful girls, all in tights, dancing around me. However, I started getting bored just sitting in a corner all class till the bell rang, and so I started playing with my left nipple for some reason without even noticing—till I saw like five of those beautiful girls looking at me and laughing. Then it hit me.

I was holding my nipples with the tips of my fingers.

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23. Raining Cats and Desks

Whenever the teacher turned her back, my friend Cory used to pick up entire desks, throw them across the room, sit back down, and have a totally straight face. The teacher was fresh out of college and had no idea what to do.

DublinItUp

22. Where Was the Teacher When This Was Going On?

One time in high school, this kid did that thing where you pass yourself out by pushing on the arteries in your neck so that you stop the flow of blood to your brain. He didn’t believe someone could pass themselves out. Sure enough though, he fell out of his chair onto the floor and woke up not knowing where in the hell he was for like ten seconds. All of this happened in the middle of class, and it was pretty entertaining—albeit dangerous.

Ad_Nauzeam

21. Unlocking the Gates of Hell

Some prankster wreaked havoc on the entire school by stealing all the locks to the stalls in the bathrooms. Many shenanigans involving people taking pictures of each other, among other things, soon went down.

Baevid_Salvawhore

20. I Think, Therefore I Am

In the middle of class, a kid once randomly asked my philosophy teacher if he was circumcised.

cjpinto7

19. Lost in Translation

We had open lunch in my high school, so we could leave campus by car and go eat at a fast food place if we wanted to. One day, I went to lunch with two friends who were from other countries. Two of us wanted Wendy’s and two of us wanted Taco Bell, so we decided to get Wendy’s at the drive-through and take that to Taco Bell where we would all eat. We walk into Taco Bell with the Wendy’s bags, and the guy behind the counter says “Sorry guys, we can’t allow foreign bags in here”…to which I responded, “Hey, don’t call my friends bags!”

OfficerBimbeau

18. You’re All in Mass-ive Trouble

I went to a Catholic high school. During mass, my friend took the Eucharist and walked back to his seat with it. While we were all quietly praying, he looked over at us with the Eucharist broken in half and made to look like fangs. He let out a very loud “HEEEEEEEENNNNGGG” which made us all laugh uncontrollably.

We all got in trouble, and “Jesus Fangs” was talked about constantly after that.

Dr_Farfrompoopin

17. A Comedian Who Laughs At His Own Jokes

First day of Senior year. I had just gotten back from a family vacation and hadn’t smoked in two weeks. So I burn down two joints before I go in, apply some eye drops, and am good to go.

Nope. Turned out I was much higher than I thought I was. My friend tells me that I reek like the devil and I start freaking out. So of course, the only logical response is to go to the bathroom and put some liquid soap in my mouth to get rid of the smell. I almost threw up. I was a dumb kid.

RefrainsFromPartakin

16. Blowing Hot Air

Oh boy.

In high school, there was this one kid. Let’s call him ‘Z’.

Z wasn’t a very bright kid, but he provided a lot of entertainment for the rest of us. My favorite moment was when, before the first band concert of sophomore year, he got himself so stoned that he broke out giggling during his own trumpet solo on stage in front of the whole school.

ThatSpaceyGamer

15. Vigilante Justice

One of the funniest, most memorable, and most satisfying moments in high school was watching some new kid who was getting bullied for months finally snap and smash the bully’s head through a door window.

The bully got suspended, and the victim just got a detention.

liverlad87

14. When Nature Calls

The funniest moment in my high school career was when a kid pooped on the trampoline. Ya gotta go when ya gotta go!

Haruvulgar

Cornelius_Crackerfap

13. Do My Eyes Deceive Me?

One of my classmates once put a plastic bag loosely over his head and ran out of the classroom shrieking the teacher’s name repeatedly. You could hear him running down the hallway. The teacher had no idea what to do or how to react. She just stood there blankly for a few seconds.
My classmate then came back and sat down like nothing happened. Since none of us showed any reaction, I think she ended up thinking she was hallucinating.

It still makes me laugh to this day when I think about it.

Frolic-A-holic

12. Separate School From Your Private Life

A friend of mine in high school got in trouble for pooping into the printer’s paper tray, getting stoned before finals, bringing alcohol to a school-sponsored event on the school campus, and plenty of other stuff as well. The final straw was when he finally got himself expelled for signing up to multiple porn sites using his school-issued email address.

ThatSpaceyGamer

11. Leaving Her Mark

We had a really weird substitute teacher at my high school. She always seemed like she was on a lot of prescription pills looking back on it.

Well, one day, we had her for math class and she always wrote her name on the board, even though we all knew who she was. That day, she mistakenly wrote her name in sharpie. This meant it wouldn’t come off. The janitors did not find it anywhere near as entertaining as my whole class did.

Frolic-A-holic

10. A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

My friends printed and distributed 5,000 photoshopped pictures of my principal holding a huge sex toy. It was amazing.

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9. Well That Plan Blew Up Fast

Some kid once bought a real grenade to school in the hopes of trying to sell it. He ended up getting immediately expelled. The rest of us found it hilarious.

ecky–ptang-zooboing

8. Thanks for Dropping In

When I was in high school, our band program was new and still very small. Sometimes we’d have chill days (especially after football season ended) where we would just play around in the band hall. One day, some of the boys decided to gang up on our band director (a young, slight, 24-25-year-old man) and try to wrestle him.

This one kid, who was built like a linebacker, snuck up on the director and tried to jump on his back. The director noticed at the last second, grabbed the kid’s wrist, and straight up flipped him over his back and slammed him to the floor like a full-on pro-wrestler. He stood up all wide-eyed and half-smiling, not sure if he should be proud of himself or submit his resignation for flipping a student. The landing knocked the wind clean out of the kid. Everyone else thought it was hilarious and applauded. They never messed with him again.

dekayge

7. A Message From Above

I went to a Catholic school that had lockers on the second floor. Someone found a hole in the bottom of their locker that went right through the ceiling of the classroom below. He would speak into the hole every now and then, pretending to be God calling out to the class. The acoustics were perfect in that locker. It took the teacher weeks to catch the culprit.

nise-

6. Cards Against Humanity

My class had this loud girl who was pregnant and would sit in the back, complaining about being in that form. After a test, I pull out my Yu-Gi-Oh cards and start going through them because I had a match against a friend after class. This girl walked by me and said loudly, “You still play with Yu-Gi-Oh cards?”

I looked her dead in her eyes and calmly replied: “You’re pregnant.” The whole class lost it and she almost punched me in the face. She tried to come up with a comeback but I was too busy winning my match.

ThatTypicalKid

5. Disconnected

We had this math teacher whom the entire class disliked. She would always use the interactive whiteboard to do her lessons. Some activities involved needing to go online to a learning website to demonstrate stuff. The Ethernet port was at the back of the classroom behind my friend, and he would pull it out slightly so that the computer wouldn’t connect to the internet whenever she was trying to use it. It drove the teacher mad whilst we were all pissing our sides because we knew what was going on.

theysomepussytome

4. Public Service Announcement

When one of the seniors found the codes to the school’s phone/intercom system, he played Adam Sandler’s “Vice Principal” sketch for the entire school to hear a few minutes before the real announcements would normally start. Watching my geometry teacher’s reaction and subsequent attempts to cover up the speaker was pure gold.

gidikh

3. A Hair-Raising Scheme

This one is only funny because it’s so ridiculous, but these two trashy girls at my high school got into a fight. One of them pulled huge chunks of hair out of the other’s head as they were going at it. Let’s call the girl that lost Sarah. The girl that won made posters saying “Got hair? Sarah doesn’t.” She taped strands of Sarah’s hair on the posters and posted them all around the school. “Sarah” was a huge bully though, so everyone just thought it was hilarious.

3CheersFor5Yearz

2. Snatching Defeat From the Jaws of Victory

At the end of the year, we had a special assembly where the school gave out prizes for “merits” collected during the year. It was raffle style, and “that kid” won a then-current generation iPod. He ran down, shook the hand of every teacher, and then proceeded to celebrate by doing a striptease in front of the whole school. He was well liked and we cheered him on until he was handed his shirt and escorted back to his seat.

Sofairy

1. A Painful Loophole

I went to a fairly conservative Catholic school. One of the rules was no visible piercings (aside from a small piercing in each ear, with rules about appropriate types of earrings).

There was this one girl who was a constant prankster and delightful deviant—one of those never in class, always wandering around the halls types. She decided the best way to circumnavigate the “no visible piercings” rule was to get her nipples pierced.

The day after she got them pierced, we had this assembly where we were welcoming about twenty priests from all over the world for a conference. For some unfathomable reason, that girl was chosen for the welcoming committee.

She had to stand at the door for over an hour and hug these men as they came in, while smiling and hiding the pain of freshly pierced nipples. Every time she got a hug, she winced—and the girls who knew about it just lost it.

SalemScout

Sources: 1, 2


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