The Cost Of Heroism
Audie Murphy was, on the surface, the pinnacle of an all-American life: after becoming the most decorated enlisted man in US Army history and a WWII hero, he went on to hit it big in Hollywood in a classic rags-to-riches tale. But all that came at a devastating cost to his mental health.
Though he would meet a grisly and premature end, Murphy stuck around long enough to become the perfect case study for the under-discussed consequences of modern warfare on the soul of man.
1. He Was Born Poor
Audie Murphy was born in Kingston, Texas on June 20, 1925. Kingston was a small, rural community, and the Murphy family, with parents Emmett and Josie, were sharecroppers, an exploited position that meant the family always struggled to make ends meet. The number of mouths to feed only exacerbated the problem.
2. He Came From A Big Litter
The Murphys lived up to their Irish name (important note: the author is Irish) by having a whole mess of kids: Audie was the seventh child of a whopping 12 altogether. All those extra stomachs meant that resources were stretched very thin for the Murphys, and Audie was a skinny kid. And despite all those siblings, he was not exactly a social butterfly.
3. He Was Volatile
Though he came from a large crop, Audie did not have the social skills to match. Growing up, the young boy was reportedly an outcast and a loner, who suffered from dramatic mood swings and a short and explosive temper. Of course, as in most cases with troubled kids, home life was the likely reason for this.
4. His Dad Was Awful
Emmet Murphy was not a prime candidate for any Father of the Year awards. Whenever things got tough, the elder Murphy would disappear for days, constantly drifting in and out of Audie’s life over the course of his childhood, before eventually abandoning the family forever. And though this was likely part of the reason for Audie’s anti-social nature, the boy really stepped up when he had to.
5. He Became A Breadwinner
With his father now out of the picture, every member of the Murphy family old enough to help out had to answer the call, and Audie was no different. The young man dropped out of school in the fifth grade to pick up a job picking cotton to support his family. His sense of sacrifice would come to define his later exploits overseas. He developed another skill that would come in handy on the battlefield around this time too.
6. He Trained His Trigger Finger
Desperate times called for desperate measures, and when the Murphys couldn’t afford to buy food, they would simply find their own. To this end, young Audie became a dab hand with a rifle, skillfully hunting small game to feed his family. But despite the put-upon young man’s best efforts, things would only get worse for the Murphys.
7. He Lost Another
In 1941, when Audie was still just a teenager, his mother, Josie Murphy, tragically perished from a bout of pneumonia, exacerbated by endocarditis. The loss devastated the Murphy children. Finding himself an orphan now at the age of just 16, Audie’s despair and grief would last the rest of his life.
8. He Became A Shell
The loss of Audie’s mother stayed with him for the rest of his life, and he never truly got over her passing. Years later, he gushed about his mother in an interview, commenting on her beauty and thoughtful but stoic nature, and concluding with a devastating admission: “when she passed away, she took something of me with her. It seems I've been searching for it ever since”. At the very least, though, the comfort of a large family remained for the troubled young man.
9. He Heeded The Call Of Duty
Like many boys of his generation, the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in December 1941 had a profound effect on Audie, and he was eager to enlist and serve his country as they entered WWII. There was one problem, however: he was still too young. Luckily, he had a capable older sister who helped him forge documents falsifying his age. There was still one hurdle, however.
10. He Was Weedy
As previously mentioned, Audie was a skinny kid—12 mouths to feed and having to hunt for your dinner will do that to a growing boy. After convincing them he was old enough, the Army, Navy, and Marine Corps all turned him down for being underweight. Eventually, however, he evidently packed on enough pounds to be accepted as an enlisted man in the United States Army on June 30, 1942. It wasn’t long before they sent him overseas to meet his destiny.
11. He Entered The Fray
After completing basic and advanced infantry training, Audie Murphy deployed to Casablanca on February 20, 1943. He immediately excelled, showing great bravery and prowess in battle, despite his small frame. Soon Murphy received a promotion to corporal and assigned to the Allied invasion of Sicily, where again he met the moment bravely. Some of his exploits have become legendary.
12. He Racked Up Some Hits
The Army selected Murphy as part of Operation Avalanche, a significant push in the Allied invasion of the Italian mainland. While he was on a scouting mission along the Volturno River, Audie and his two companions got ambushed by German forces.
The attackers immediately gunned one infantryman down, but Murphy and his partner’s response was tenfold: they successfully took out five enemy soldiers with grenades and suppressive fire. His bravery earned Murphy a promotion to sergeant, and he moved on to his next historic accomplishment.
13. He Got Trapped
After receiving further promotion to staff sergeant and a brief sidelining with illness, Audie Murphy next participated in the Battle of Anzio. Terrible weather conditions meant his stint at Anzio lasted four months. On March 2, 1944, heavy rain and wind forced Murphy and his platoon to take shelter in an abandoned farmhouse. They were sitting ducks for an oncoming German attack.
14. He Let ‘Em Have It
Audie and his platoon must have felt pure terror when they realized that the Germans were closing in, armed with a tank. With the odds stacked against the motley crew of infantry, they nevertheless met the moment with valor: Murphy and his men managed to take out the crew of the passing tank, after which Murphy crawled out on his own and got close enough to the tank to destroy it with grenades. The Army would handsomely decorate him for his bravery, but history had no time for that right now.
15. He Watched History Unfold
Murphy’s bravery and competency hardly abated at all as the campaign wore on, and he continued to lead scouting patrols that resulted in the capture of many German prisoners. These exploits culminated in the liberation of Rome on June 4, 1944, a decisive turning point in WWII. The Allied success rewarded Audie with a break as he and his platoon remained bivouacked in Rome through July. It was a rest he desperately needed.
16. He Got Knocked
Deployment was not an easy experience for Audie Murphy, and it wasn’t just because of the thrilling battles. His malnourished upbringing meant that Audie was quite prone to illness, and he suffered multiple bouts of sickness over the course of the campaign, including a round with malaria. He also got wounded more than once over the course of his service. Ever the plucky underdog, however, Murphy did not allow any of this to keep him sidelined for long.
17. He Kept Going
Not only did Murphy bounce back from his illnesses, but he positively excelled following them. Deployed next to assist the Allied invasion of southern France, the young man proved himself again and again in thrilling displays of bravery, including one incident where he advanced on a German-occupied building, alone and under direct fire, and ended up neutralizing six enemies, wounding two, and taking 11 prisoners. Murphy was unstoppable, and he couldn’t stop proving that.
18. He Held His Ground
In January 1945, Audie Murphy found himself in France’s Colmar Pocket, where his platoon came under heavy attack from German forces. After instructing his company to retreat, this left Audie the only remaining Allied soldier, and incredibly, managed to singlehandedly hold off a company of German attackers for an entire hour. It was an incredible feat, and it only got more impressive.
19. He Pushed Back
Murphy got wounded during this incident—how could he not have? But amazingly, once reinforcements arrived, the plucky young solider—just 19 years old, by the way! —successfully led a counterattack against the German forces. It was an epic moment, pulled directly from a movie. Indeed, Murphy had something of a flare for the dramatics.
20. He Struck An Epic Silhouette
Perhaps the most striking image that arose from Murphy’s story came after German forces scored a direct hit on an Allied tank destroyer, which set it ablaze. During his hour holding off the enemy, Audie mounted the abandoned destroyer and fired his machine gun from the blazing inferno, painting an absolutely epic image. When asked later what inspired such heroism, however, Audie Murphy was characteristically humble.
21. He Had A Code
Tales of Murphy’s brave exploits took the United States by storm, and the press later asked him why he had dared seize that machine gun to take on an entire company of German infantry. Perhaps the media was hoping for some grand patriotic statement about freedom. But Murphy humbly replied with a simple answer: “They were killing my friends”. It was enough to secure him the highest honor.
22. He Got Recognition
For his unimaginably brave and valorous efforts, the US Army awarded Audie Murphy the Medal of Honor, the highest decoration given by the United States Armed Forces. It would have been a proud moment for the 19-year-old, who came from such humble beginnings, to be recognized for his heroism. And the recognition kept coming.
23. He Was Decorated
Though the feat with the German platoon was Murphy’s most well-known and dramatic act of valor, it was just one of many heroic acts he carried out over the course of his service. By the time he returned home, Audie Murphy had received every US Army combat award for valor available to enlisted men who served in WWII. So heroic was his performance that other countries even recognized him.
24. His Heroism Crossed Borders
Because of his significant involvement in the liberation of Europe from the forces of the Third Reich, Murphy received awards for valor from a couple of European nations too. He became the proud holder of a Croix de Guerre with palm from both Belgium and France, and with these awards, set an impressive record.
25. He Set A Record
With his long list of awards recognizing his valor, Murphy was far and away the most decorated American combat infantryman of WWII. This accomplishment would be impressive enough on its own, but throughout history since, his achievement has yet to be bested.
26. He Made History
Though there has been some minor contention, most agree that Audie Murphy is the most highly decorated enlisted man in United States history. His valorous service has become the stuff of legend, but behind the story, there is a grisly number that represents a lot of pain.
27. He Has A High Body Count
Murphy’s unassuming nature and heroic defense of his fellow servicemen is undoubtedly admirable. But in conflict, no heroism comes without great cost to the opposing side. Throughout his service in Europe, Audie racked up an astonishing total of 241 confirmed kills. Perhaps it was this ruthlessness that had the Army brass eyeing him.
28. He Could Have Climbed Higher
Before he had even set foot back on American soil, the higher-ups in the US Army were already making inquiries through official channels about naming Audie Murphy a prospect for attendance at West Point Academy, the institution that educates officers and grooms them for command.
Audie never pursued his enrollment further, however, with some positing that the prospect of studying for the entrance exam was beyond his capability and, indeed, desire. Regardless, when he finally returned home, he received a hero’s welcome.
29. He Became A Superstar
As mentioned, Murphy’s exploits had made their way back across the Atlantic, and he had become a beloved celebrity in his home country, basically overnight. Upon his return stateside, they showered him with elaborate parades, grand banquets, and adoring speeches. The American people were eager to hear his side of the story, and he eventually obliged them.
30. He Recorded His Experience
With the help of collaborator David McClure, Audie Murphy began to work on his memoirs detailing his life and exploits in the European Theatre of WWII. In 1949, he released To Hell and Back and it was a smash success. His career in the public eye had only just begun.
31. He Went To Tinseltown
Murphy got featured on the cover of the July 16, 1945, issue of Life magazine, in a story depicting him as the “most decorated” WWII fighter. The issue sold many copies, and one of these buyers was Hollywood actor and producer James Cagney, who saw potential in Audie’s story.
He contacted the newly returned veteran and brought him to Hollywood where, for the next 20 years, Murphy would embark on a successful acting career. He quickly became the obvious choice for a starring role.
32. He Relived His Glory Days
Ten years or so into his acting career, Murphy’s memoirs got optioned for a motion picture adaptation, and the hunt was on for an actor to play the lead role. There was, of course, an obvious candidate, and though he was reluctant at first, Audie eventually agreed to play himself in the 1955 autobiographical film, also named To Hell and Back. Oddly enough, though, it wasn’t the kind of movie Audie Murphy usually led.
33. He Was A Cowboy
All in all, Murphy’s storied acting career saw him feature in over 40 movies, and the overwhelming majority of these were Westerns. The gunslinging leading man starred in big titles like The Kid from Texas (in which he portrayed Billy the Kid), The Unforgiven, and No Name on the Bullet. Murphy found love in Tinseltown, too.
34. He Married A Starlet
Audie Murphy met fellow Hollywood thespian, Wanda Hendrix, in 1946, and they started dating shortly after. In 1949, the two young, ambitious lovebirds tied the knot. It was not a fairytale love story, however, and the couple would divorce just two years later, in 1951. Murphy would marry for a second time later that year. Perhaps it was his many talents that attracted the ladies.
35. He Had A Poet’s Soul
While assisting Murphy in writing his memoirs, David McClure discovered that Audie had a knack for writing poetry. McClure encouraged him to pursue the creative outlet, and the accomplished veteran made something of a side hustle with it: alongside his acting career, Murphy made waves as a successful songwriter. It was just one of many interesting facets of his career and interests.
36. He Was A Real Life Cowboy Too
With his successful acting and music careers, Murphy now found himself with wealth he could scarcely imagine growing up near malnourished in Texas. He took that money and invested it in his hobbies and passions, purchasing two ranches in California and Arizona, where he bred quarter horses. With these horses, he could also express his competitive side.
37. He Was A Jockey
With the horses he bred, Audie Murphy entered the horseracing scene, both as a rider and a provider of horses for other jockeys. He became a regular participant at the Del Mar Racetrack in California. Audie seemed to have many distractions in life, and given his mental state during this time, those distractions were much needed.
38. He Got Traumatized
Since returning from overseas, Murphy found himself plagued with regular bouts of depression and wrestled with constant insomnia. His mental state only further deteriorated as years went on, and though at the time his condition was termed “battle fatigue”, doctors today would diagnose poor Audie with a serious case of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). His mental illness manifested in troubling ways.
39. He Was Paranoid
Whenever he did manage to sleep, Murphy greatly suffered with nightmares about his service and, along with constant headaches and vomiting, the toll on his mental state only worsened. For years, he would sleep with a loaded pistol under his pillow, a sign of his deepening paranoia. This spelled trouble for those around him too.
40. He Was A Menace
As previously mentioned, Murphy’s first marriage did not last long, and his struggles with PTSD likely played a role in its dissolution. In a later recounting of her marriage to Audie, Wanda Hendrix claimed he once held her at gunpoint in a bout of paranoid confusion and rage. Murphy’s PTSD would manifest in gentler, but no less devastating ways too.
41. He Felt Remorse
Speaking to his complex character, one humanizing aspect of Murphy’s experience with PTSD was his guilt over the lives he had taken overseas. According to another account from Hendrix, she once witnessed her ex-husband tearing up while watching newsreel footage of German children orphaned by the conflict. But guilt can be a heavy thing to live with too, and Audie Murphy pursued the wrong kind of remedy.
42. He Numbed The Pain
With his guilt and his horror-ridden nightmares, Murphy’s insomnia got to be too much for the long-suffering veteran. Seeking solace in substances, Audie developed a dependency on sleeping pills, using them daily with the hopes of getting just one precious dreamless sleep. The problem eventually became evident even to him, however, and he took drastic measures.
43. He Went Cold Turkey
Recognizing his dependency on sedatives, Audie Murphy knew he was only adding to his suffering. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and the troubled veteran decided, at some point in the mid-1960s, to lock himself alone in a hotel room for a week, with no access to the pills, to kick the habit. His efforts were successful, and he found other, healthier ways to deal with his pain.
44. He Channeled His Pain
As previously mentioned, a collaborator discovered Murphy to be a talented poet, and this penchant proved to be a source of some solace for the poor man. For a brief time, he would write poetry as a kind of creative stress outlet, penning pieces like “The Crosses Grow on Anzio” about his experiences overseas. He seemed to make positive strides in dealing with his problems.
45. He Became An Advocate
As the United States marred itself in further conflicts in Korean and Vietnam, Audie Murphy astutely noticed the effects those experiences had on the next generation of returning veterans, seeing himself in them. He began candidly speaking out about his own experience with “shell shock” and advocated for state support for returning veterans. It was a touching and brave act, especially coming from a man so consumed by darkness.
46. His Problems Continued
In Murphy’s later years, his problems worsened when he found himself plagued with financial troubles. The reasons for this were numerous: he had lost a lot of money gambling at the horse track, had made some bad investments, and faced tax trouble with the IRS. Through it all, though, Murphy remained steadfast in his values.
47. He Kept His Integrity
Because of his reputation as a movie star, companies often pursued Audie Murphy to appear in commercials. During his financial dire straits, they courted him to advertise cigarettes and alcoholic products. Murphy was mindful of the poor example that would set for young people, however, and though he desperately needed the money, refused to take part in commercials for products he did not endorse. It would be the last great stand that the aggrieved vet would take.
48. He Took A Doomed Flight
On May 28, 1971, Murphy boarded a private plane in Virginia. Weather conditions were awful, with heavy rain, clouds, and fog, but the pilot chose to continue with the flight anyway. Although conditions were worsening, with witnesses claiming the plane was "flying in circles," the pilot did not report any trouble. Amidst the terrible visibility, tragedy struck: the plane collided with a mountain 14 nautical miles northwest of Roanoke, Virginia. There were no survivors.
After a thrilling and troubled life, Audie Murphy left this mortal plane at just 45 years old. The state gave him one final honor.
49. He Got Buried Among The Best
Audie Murphy was interred with honors at Arlington National Cemetery, a graveyard outside Washington DC where some of America’s greatest heroes are buried. In true, humble fashion, Murphy had requested that his gravestone remain inconspicuous, no different from that of any other enlisted man. That didn’t stop admirers from seeking it out, however.
Over the years, thousands of visitors to Arlington have paid their respects to Audie Murphy, recognizing his colossal and heroic achievements. His gravesite remains the second most visited in Arlington—behind only that of John F Kennedy. It’s a touching sign that, despite his troubles, that skinny young boy from Texas made a near-Presidential impact on his fellow countrymen.
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