It’s hard to do justice to the story of the walking disaster that was Pope John XII. When even the historian most sympathetic to his life states, “There cannot be a doubt that John XII was anything but what a Pope, the chief pastor of Christendom, should have been,” you know he must have messed up somewhere along the way. An adulterer, backstabber, and all-around terrible human being, John XII’s story is like a trainwreck you can’t take your eyes off of.