"I Was So Nervous, I Threw Up On Him" And Other First Date Horror Stories We're Trying Not To Laugh At
Not every first date can be the stuff of poetry. It’s not about meeting the right or wrong person; dating is sometimes just a skill that some adults have yet to master.
Standards like basic hygiene, conversation, boundaries, and basic honesty about one’s extra partners are, apparently, harder to meet than it seems.
At least, this was the case when Reddit asked users to share the worst first dates that they’ve ever been on.
From spontaneous expulsions of blood to dates that were literally too clownish to function, the horror of these would-be lovers is our entertainment. Swipe left on these 42 uproariously shocking tales of first date horror stories.
42. The Key to My Heart (and My Car)
I met up with a girl I'd met on OkCupid, we had planned to go to this little coffee shop. I get there about 15 minutes early and find that the place is closed inexplicably. I then return to my car to find out I had locked my keys AND phone in my car.
So I had no choice but to just sit and wait for her to show up so I could explain to her that the place is closed AND ask her to help me get my keys out of my car.
41. When Sharing Is Not Caring
Went on a date with a guy I'd met through a mutual friend. Things seemed pretty normal until we were sitting and waiting for the movie to start. He got his phone out and started showing me pictures of two of his ex-girlfriends.
Both women were completely naked.
40. Bleeding Heart
I had a casual first date with a guy at my apartment. We watched a movie that he had seen before and drank a bottle of wine and chatted.
Toward the end of the movie there's a little blood and the guy walked into my kitchen, pretended to get a glass of water, and dropped to the ground and started seizing.
It was terrifying. I ran over and kept saying his name and after a few seconds I was about to call 911, when he woke up, realized what happened and just said "Darn it..."
Apparently the sight of blood really gets to him and this was not the first time this had happened.
To sum it up: date started with wine and talking, ended with him seizing on my kitchen floor.
39. No Points for Trying
I went out with a guy who I had met on Tinder. The entire time, we argued. Either he didn't agree with me, or I didn't agree with him, on ANYTHING.
Normally, I don't argue with someone just because I don't agree with them, but this guy was so arrogant. After leaving the bar, he somehow thought it would be a good idea to ask me to come up to his place. Saying "No”
was the last time I spoke to him. RIP Tinder app.
