“Help! Come Quickly” The Ridiculous Reasons People Called 9-1-1
When you think of emergency dispatchers, you probably don’t picture them laughing their butts off at their callers' misfortunes—but it definitely happens.
Sometimes it’s because people make mistakes, and sometimes it’s because people have unbelievably misguided ideas of what justifies dialing 9-1-1.
Either way, dispatchers often receive serious calls for help that turn out to be straight-up comical.
So, prepare to laugh, facepalm, and slowly shake your head as these Redditors share their weirdest, funniest, and most bizarre “emergency” calls.
1. What Doctor Agreed To This?
I have a friend who works as a dispatcher. She has a lot of crazy stories—but this is the craziest by far. She once told me about a call that came in from a lady whose 20-something-year-old son ran away from home after she forced him to get a vasectomy.
Sorry, what? Although my friend hasn't updated me about this bizarre tale, I hope the poor guy got away and found somewhere safe to go.
2. Thanks, Son
I was an emergency operator before becoming a paramedic. I had a lot of funny calls, but my favorite by far involved the all-too-common problem of a kid getting a hold of a locked cell phone and only being able to dial 9-1-1.
It was Father’s Day, and this particular kid, who was about five years old, called in at least six times, but he’d never stay on the line long enough for us to get a good location “ping” on his cell phone.
It was probably about 10 PM local at the time, not early in the night, but not too late either. Long story short, we were finally able to get him to stay on the phone long enough to trace the call by talking about how his teddy bear was “sick.”
We asked to speak to his parents, but he told us that they were in bed and the door was locked. So, we asked him to go knock on the door, and he then told us he was locked in his room.
Okay…We think we know what’s going on now. By this point, we already had an officer en route to this kid’s house to make sure everything was okay and tell his parents their kid had been calling 9-1-1.
The officer arrived on the scene, and a few minutes went by before he eventually came over the radio and said, “S120 back in service, the teddy bear is 10-4.”
The officer made his way up to the comm center and proceeded to tell us all that the kid’s dad answered the door wearing only his boxer shorts and was more than a little agitated when he found out his son had been calling 9-1-1.
Apparently, the dad was getting his Father’s Day “gift” from the mom when the officer showed up.
3. That’s One For The Books
One time I went to a local library to do some work because my home was filled with loud guests. I was there for a couple of hours when I saw I had 25 minutes left before closing. So, I packed all my stuff up and brought it to the bathroom with me to take a dump without leaving my things unattended. I planned to leave immediately afterward. I didn't realize, but I'd made a huge mistake.
Y’all, they locked me in. The librarians thought I left. The whole place was empty and dark. I walked right out the front door, which was locked, and triggered the security alarm.
Now, not to throw race into it, but I’m a big Latino man in a very, very white and upper-class part of my state. So, I had a very real sense of fear.
I didn’t want to get caught driving away from the scene in case any Karens were peeping out of their windows.
Instead, I decided to call law enforcement on myself and explain that I got locked in the library while taking a dump…and the operator was dying. The officers showed up, and one of them goes, “So, you like breaking in and taking dumps, huh?”
I went white as a ghost and immediately started bumbling my words. They brought the whole department out because they thought it was just the funniest blunder ever. Thankfully, they were cool and just laughed at my dimwittedness.
4. Steer Clear
I called 9-1-1 about two cows running around on the street by my parents' neighborhood. The operator asked me to describe the animals, and I said, “Lady, I promise you they’re the only two cows running down the street right here.”
Then one got hit by a jeep, and I had to clarify that there was now only one cow running down the street.
