Oh, Snap: These Perfect Comebacks Left Us Speechless
There are moments in life where we just can’t play nice anymore. We just can't turn the other cheek. Instead, we have to give as good as we got.
From bar-room quips to revenge against unreasonable parents, here are the best retorts from quick-thinking Redditors. Sometimes, one witty comeback is worth a thousand words.
1. The Apple Falls Far
My mother came to visit my son and our young family one day, and decided to throw out this lovely gem: "Your son is so much better behaved than you were as a child. You were horrible!" Without skipping a beat, I simply said to her, "Probably because my son has better parents." She was not happy, but I was completely right.
2. Don’t Kiss and Makeup
I was in line at a fast food joint, and this diva Karen in front of me was giving the trainee cashier a really awful time. This nightmare customer was all dolled up—but I knew how to shut her up. I just said, "Maybe if you ate some of your makeup you'd be pretty on the inside." Entire line-up went speechless. Grabbed my takeout and left.
3. Going Gaga
My grandma was a classy broad with a great sense of humor. I loved her so much, even at the end when she was frail and needed a lot of help to get around. One day, we were hanging out and she said jokingly, "You're such a big baby."
I just laughed and said, "I'm not the one wearing diapers!" Granny loved that one.
4. Goth Forever
A fat guy in high school used to taunt me on the bus, asking if I used white-out for makeup because I was so pale. Finally, after I ignored him for a while, he says, "Don't you get hot under all of those layers of black, goth girl?"
I turned around to face him and said, "Don't you get hot under all those layers of fat?" Never bothered me again.
