Insane Legal Plot Twists
"Law and Order" might work for some judges, but not with these ridiculous cases.
Whether it's an incompetent client or an unhinged attorney, these lawyers' stories of their most outrageous plot twists inside and outside the halls of justice had us banging the gavel and screaming for order in the court.
Buckle up, it's about to get wild.
1. Animal Instinct
A woman called saying that she had a product liability suit involving animal crackers she gave to her daughter. I was thinking it was going to be something to do with food poisoning and kept listening. I wish I’d never heard her next words. She explained that when she looked at the crackers, it looked like the monkey was holding its nether regions.
Well, nope, it was a banana. Still, this woman was mortified and ashamed. She said she told all her co-workers, and they were very shocked and uncomfortable. I wanted to tell her she was nuts and that they were probably freaked out, but I didn’t.
2. Latte And Order
My family friend is a lawyer. She had someone come to her asking to sue Starbucks because someone spilled their latte on the sidewalk and she slipped on it and hit her head. She claimed Starbucks was at fault because it wouldn't have happened if "
Starbucks didn't put extra slippery whipped cream in the drink". My friend did not take the case.
3. Not So Friendly Now
A year out of law school, I once had a potential client who wanted me to sue Canada. Apparently, he could not get into the country due to his court record.
I tried to reason with him, saying that it was up to the sovereign nation to set its own rules regarding entry to their country, but he insisted that we could make a lot of money suing Canada.
I didn't take the case, but I told him I might be able to get him a letter that said "Sorry" –from Canada.
4. An Old Grudge
I’m a lawyer in a small town. I mostly do estate planning, probate, old people stuff, etc. I have a client who sued his ex-wife for not selling the house after the divorce as she was supposed to. Judge held her in contempt, and asked what my client wanted to do about it. His revenge was brutal. He had his ex-wife thrown in the slammer. They are both nearly 80 years old.
The client also has something valuable buried on his property for his grandchildren after he passes. I have a sealed letter in my desk that he pays me a goodly sum each month to hold and give to his grandson when he’s gone.
