These Patients Need A Cure For Idiocy
There’s a reason doctors spend so many years honing their skills in med school, but some people still think they know better than the pros.
Whether they’re ignoring health issues or taking matters into their own hands, boneheaded patients always prove that human stupidity is endless.
1. Sugar-Free Diet
A patient of mine, who is diagnosed with diabetes, had an unusually high blood glucose level of 1250. He told me, "I'm feeling hungry, is it possible for me to eat?" To which I carefully responded, "
Actually sir, your sugar level is remarkably high, we need to handle that before we think about food". The patient then requested a drink.
I proposed water—and his response threw me for a loop. He suggested something sugar-free "like juice".
2. Who’s Your Daddy?
A mom asked for a maternity test for her kid. You heard that right. No, not a paternity test, but a maternity test. She believed her spouse inserted another woman's egg into her while she was asleep.
3. Waiting For The Tooth Fairy
I work as a dental nurse and I'll never forget this one patient, a woman in her 30s, who visited the affordable emergency dental clinic where I was stationed. Her teeth were in BIG trouble—cracked, nearly pitch black. Even the simple act of her tongue brushing against her vibrant red, swollen gums would cause them to bleed.
She was in urgent need of multiple sessions with a hygienist for scaling and debridement. Our X-ray scan showed this woman had all of her wisdom teeth intact and that she had 10 fillings.
She would need root canal treatments to salvage as many teeth as possible, and we'd need to pull at least three out.
Honestly, given the state of her oral health, I wouldn't be shocked if she required even more work. So, I sat her down, walked her through the complete situation, and gave her the standard crash course in proper dental hygiene.
When I asked if she had any questions, she casually remarked, "It’s okay if I lose this set of teeth, my others will come through". The dentist and I exchanged a long glance, completely taken aback. We were speechless.
I could not come up with a single response to her remark.
4. Old Habits Die Hard
This woman was seriously overweight and had already lost one leg due to diabetes. In the general medical wards, she and her family would frequently eat a lot of fast food.
She lacked the strength to lift her own chest high enough, which eventually led to her suffering from respiratory failure, and she was transferred to the ICU to be put on a ventilator.
Once we were finally able to take her off the ventilator and remove the tube, her very first words were jaw-dropping: "Can I get some fried chicken from the cafeteria?"
