Slam-Dunk Court Cases
Sometimes, lawyers spend months prepping a case for trial, and then months more inside of a courtroom trying to win. Sometimes, though, it’s literally and open-and-shut case.
These people took to Quora and Reddit to spill the details on their quickest, most slam-dunk court cases ever.
1. Seeing It With His Own Eyes
I had a co-worker who was trying to get disability due to some severe health issues. As it happens, he was turned down the first time, and then went to court.
After his name was called, he was trying to get to the front of the court but was taking some time. It was perfect timing. The judge took one look and granted his disability claim.
He hadn't even made it to the front of the courtroom, and he won.
2. Back The Heck Off
I once got stopped for “following too closely” in a line of traffic, even though I was a full rig's length behind the car in front of me. It gets more deranged. See, at the time I was being stalked by an officer and filed a complaint against him.
He was no longer allowed to stop me, so he asked his buddy with the other local department to stop me. I knew all this at the time. So I go, “Great, he gets to harass me through all his buddies now too, I guess," to the officer.
He goes, “You were riding that guy's bumper!” Anyway, he handed me the stupid ticket, and off I went. Because I knew something he didn’t. Officers rarely show up in court to fight the ticket. I did, and they left my case for last in hopes the officer would show up. Nope, he didn't.
The judge asks what happened. I say I don't know what's going on. There was a line of cars, I kept my distance. You could have fit a rig in between. But I didn’t stop there. I explained how I've been harassed endlessly by the other officer.
The judge interrupted me, saying he was very familiar with the antics of that officer and his buddy who gave me the ticket. He said, “I am very sorry, I don't understand why they still have jobs.
Since he didn't bother to show, there's no one to argue the law's side. Case dismissed”.
3. See No Evil
Back when I was young and stupid, I was once driving on bald tires in the rain. The van in front slammed on the brakes and I hydroplaned right into the back of it. The van was okay but it had a wheelchair lift that I had ruined.
I admitted fault and we were exchanging insurance details when an officer comes up. He was angry with me even though I admitted fault and said I would pay. He wrote me a ticket. I really did not need three points on my license.
My brother told me what to do. He said if the officer didn’t see the accident, he cannot testify in court about it. My brother also asked how mad the other driver was.
I said that he obviously wasn’t happy that I’d run into him, but he was otherwise okay.
My brother told me to contest the ticket, and then two weeks before the trial ask for a postponement.
His reasoning was that the other driver might show up the first time, but unless he truly hated me there was no way he would show up for the postponement date as well.
I do all this and then I finally get my court date. The officer was there and had several cases in a row. The transcript went like this.
Judge: “Officer Jenkins, did you see the accident occur?”
Officer: “No, sir”.
Judge: “Is there anyone in the courtroom who witnessed the accident?” (Silence)
Judge: “How do you plead?”
Me: “Not guilty, sir”.
Judge: “Wise choice. Next case”.
4. Gone Fishin’
This was a battery case before a Justice of the Peace in a Nevada town of less than 100, so it was the only case being heard. The JP asked the Prosecutor where his victim and the arresting officer were.
The DA stated that he was unable to locate the victim as they didn’t live in the County and that the officer who had written the report had passed on duty in a traffic accident a few months before the hearing.
He continued to say that no arrest had been made at the time of the incident and the Defendant (me) had posted bond. Being that the JP knew me semi-personally (like I said, it is a small town) he knew I’d traveled over 500 miles to be there.
The JP said, “Did you really waste both of our time with this? Why are we even here?” But it gets worse. At this point, I spoke up and informed the JP that I had contacted the DA’s Office prior to this court date, trying to resolve the issue. I was told that unless I just wanted to accept a conviction in absence and pay additional fines for failure to appear, I’d need to be there.
Basically, they were unwilling to negotiate any settlement. The JP just sat there for a moment, gathering his thoughts. He then lit into both the DA and his own bailiff for wasting his “fishing time”.
He advised me of my right to contact the State Attorney General to file a formal complaint.
The JP rapped his gavel and sternly said, “Case Dismissed”. The whole thing took less than five minutes. I never even got to warn my chair. I went fishing with the JP afterward—I didn’t want to waste the trip, after all.
I also received a check from that County two weeks later for twice the bail amount I’d posted. It more than covered all my travel expenses and I got to enjoy a short vacation.
