The Craziest Wedding Drama
Weddings are supposed to be magical and memorable—but these nuptials had such crazy wedding drama, they'll be memorable for all the wrong reasons.
1. Does Anyone Here Object To This Union?
A few years ago, my family and I got invited to my second cousin's wedding. The bride (my cousin) and groom were wonderful people in their mid-twenties who had known each other since middle school. They were very much in love and had been deemed "
the perfect couple" by our entire family. The wedding was exquisite, too.
It was a large outdoor wedding with beautiful decorations and flowers everywhere. It was a shame it ended up being nearly ruined. First of all, the bride and groom had to wait 45 minutes because the groom's mother was late. She showed up in a fancy white dress that could rival the bride's and insisted on being in all the pre-wedding photos, which made it hard to tell who was the bride and which visibly upset the actual bride.
The groom's mother then started verbally attacking the bride on her appearance, among other things, which left her close to tears. Then, when it came time to say the vows, the best man stepped forward—and what he said left us all in total shock. He professed his undying love for the bride, saying that he'd been in love with her ever since high school.
He proceeded to list all the things he loved about her including some prettyexplicitthings he said he wanted to do to her. He claimed he knew she felt the same way, but the bride just shook her head, looking extremely uncomfortable and even a little bit scared. He was escorted out of the premises unwillingly. And to top it all off, the groom's ex-girlfriend decided it was the right time to object to their marriage.
She claimed that it should have been her at the altar with the groom. But after that whole mess was taken care of, the bride and groom got married and the wedding party was still awesome.
Despite the shaky wedding, they're still as happy a couple as they were before the wedding, and they've been married for five years and have two beautiful little girls.
Like I said. A very dramatic wedding.
2. What A Tangled Web They Wove
I was the best man at this wedding, but I lived in another city, so most of this is second-hand. Still, the drama involved seems crazy considering how undramatic this couple normally is. I was the best man for my older brother.
The bride and my brother had eloped about a year earlier for health insurance reasons, but were throwing a moderately sized wedding to celebrate it (around 100 people) in a local park.
The bride asked her brother Alex to officiate the wedding and his girlfriend of four years, Christie, to be her maid of honor. Bride and Groom specified a very strict no plus-one policy.
You weren't allowed to take your significant other unless there was a ring. Christie was an obvious exception, because she and Bride were already friends.
Note that my other brother's girlfriend of five years was directly told not to come because of this policy. About two months before the wedding, disaster struck. Alex calls Bride to let her know that he and Christie broke up and that Christie no longer wants to come to the wedding and won't be the maid of honor. Bride asks what happened and Alex just says that they drifted apart.
Also, Alex has a new girlfriend that he'll be taking to the wedding instead. Bride reminds him of the policy and that they won't allow plus-ones if there's no ring. Well, she was in for a surprise. Alex says that there is a ring. Alex and his new girlfriend (let’s call her Danielle) are engaged. Also, Danielle is pregnant. Bride asks how he met Danielle.
Alex met Danielle when he was helping teach a pottery class at his local community college. Danielle was a student taking the class. Danielle is 19. Bride asks the obvious question: "
Did Alex cheat on Christie with Danielle and get Danielle pregnant”? Alex says absolutely not. Alex says he broke up with Christie, started dating Danielle, proposed to Danielle, and then he and Danielle got pregnant on purpose.
Note that Bride had spoken with Christie two weeks earlier and Christie had been excited for the upcoming wedding and being the maid of honor. Still, Alex is her brother, so Bride agrees to invite Danielle to the wedding and Christie is uninvited.
The bride needs a new maid of honor and doesn't have many close female friends. She ends up asking her 16-year-old cousin from Europe who she hardly knows.
This isn't a big deal for her. The wedding goes forward without a hitch. Everyone has a good time. My little brother's girlfriend helps with set up and clean up, but doesn't attend the ceremony or reception as per the Bride's wishes. A few months later I run into Christie at a bar. That’s when I find out the twisted truth.
I buy her a drink and Christie is more than happy to tell her side of the story. Alex had been cheating on Christie for months with Danielle, before Christie learned about it.
Alex and Christie were actually trying to have a kid during that time and had even picked out baby names. Alex only fessed up to his infidelity when he found out that Danielle was pregnant.
He then swiftly dumped Christie and proposed to Danielle. As a final insult to injury, Christie had recently found out the name of Alex and Danielle's new child.
The name was one of the baby names Alex and Christie had picked out for their potential baby.
3. Mixing Business With Pleasure
The wedding planner we hired was seen by multiple friends and family making out with and going into various closets with a friend of ours who was helping set up our wedding. We confronted our friend and he confirmed they did the deed multiple times on our wedding day. I’m furious. It was so unprofessional and inappropriate on all levels.
And that’s not to mention there were tons of things going wrong with our wedding or not completed properly with our wedding that I can’t help but to think would’ve been done better/smoother if she hadn’t been “busy” all night.
One of the major things was she did not check out catering at the end of the night and they ended up taking all of the food we paid for with them instead of leaving it behind.
Ultimately, she refunded us after the wedding. We expressed our concerns to her and she offered a refund and asked us not to review her.
4. Karma Is Real
My wife and I chose "rustic picnic" as the decor theme for our small wedding. This was in 2013 and mason jars were still very trendy.
We aren't trendy people, and weren't then but figured this was the cheapest way to throw off a wedding that is still "pretty”. We also were having our wedding in a state park, so it fit. If you can't tell, our wedding was intentionally affordable.
As a working-class queer couple with conservative family members, it was important to my wife (and her mother) that our wedding "fit the mold" so to speak. We went to a few $25k+ weddings that year, and I'm still proud to say our wedding was the prettiest, and most Pinterest-worthy of that era. Of course, that all came with a downside.
In the hours before our nuptials, her mother cried out of sheer relief that our wedding was not going to be a total embarrassment. And it didn't come without significant effort. We scoured craigslist for mason jars.
Drove an hour out of town for them, out to the country. Some were pretty plain, but some were genuinely antique jars—an excellent find.
We purchased lace and wrapped half of the newer ones with it, delicately gluing the lace to the outside of the jar. The other half or so we both made patterns with our hand prints in muted versions of our wedding colors. It was a dorky cheesy choice, but believe it or not, they looked nice and were very much ours. Or so we thought.
We also happened to pick up off craigslist about a hundred glass baby jars. They wrap those with almost impenetrable paper labels. It took very tedious hours to get these labels off.
To pull off having these tables covered in mason jars, glass, and flowers it took us at least four weekends to pull off. Effort. Time. Money. Personalization. I'm still angry, can you tell?
Enter... Courtney. You know people like her. Well, she is engaged to Todd, my future brother-in-law. Did they get engaged a month after we did, after only knowing each other a month? Yeah, they did.
First she showed up to our wedding shower wearing sweatpants. It was noticeable, it was weird, but whatever. I wish I could have gone in sweatpants.
She only got worse from there. What does she do in the middle of the shower? Burst out crying. "She doesn't have anyone planning a shower for her, she doesn't have any of their wedding planned, nothing is done, they don't have a venue”. Granted, at the time she was having issues with her family, a messy parental divorce. But money was no issue, they did quite well for themselves.
A brigade of my wife's relatives offered their help; My wife offered our help crafting anything that needs done. We were done with our own wedding labor at that point, but still in the crafting zone. She rebuffs ALL of these offers of help.
Eventually, they land a venue at a countryside church, and plan to do their reception outside.
We hear about a few people in her family getting fitted for their attire for their wedding. Nothing strikes out of the norm because we are busy excited for our own impending wedding.
The morning of our wedding our enlisted family and family friends (none of her siblings or their partners) helped me set things up perfectly. Our wedding goes off without a hitch.
Both of our parents contributed the food, and it was tasty. It was this amazing joint effort of love. As the reception wore on, it was easily noticeable that her siblings and their partners were nowhere to be found.
They spent the entire reception drinking in their cars or around back of the building. It was a small wedding, thus easily noticed.
A few times, they came back around and Courtney would clearly be looking down her nose at everything. Just obviously, being a judgemental cow. My wife didn't notice either of the offenses until her maid of honor wasmadon her behalf in the weeks after. I've got a keen eye for terrible behavior, but again, I gave it no mind as this was our day.
Just as folks helped us set up, they helped us clean up. Even Court and Todd—surprising considering their complete lack of participation. Everyone breaking things down without asking. Earlier than we would have liked. I wasn't angry about that. I appreciated the help, but chose to continue dancing with my wife, under the stars. We were blessed with wonderful weather.
In the midst of our dancing, I noticed something strange. Todd was placing boxes in his truck and Courtney was hovering around inside. Literally, she spent more time inside "cleaning" than during our entire reception. Again, I have a keen eye for garbage, but let it slide because again, this was our day. Do you know where I'm going with this? Yes, they attempted to takeall of our decor.
And that’s not all. My thief aunt also snatches a table, chairs, and bottles of booze. But this is normal behavior for her. She recently was fired from her job for taking cake from a work event. Our cake was also stolen. My wife's mother's BFF cut the cake for us. Tiny little slices for everyone, about a quarter inch wide. Why? Because at the end of the night she planned on asking to take some of the cake for a graduation party the next day.
"Of course, yes feel free, just leave us the top two tiers" What utter garbage. You should have seen these slices she was passing out. In the days after our wedding we had to fight to get ourstuffback. My wife's mother attempted to convince us to let them have it, "they have nothing”. No. We hear from her cousin that Courtney is claiming wepilferedideas off her Pinterest, and she feels the right to our things.
However, remember she had no idea what she was doing for her wedding at the time of the shower. They only booked a venue a month before ours.
My wife finally gets a hold of him and explained they were very personal to our wedding, and that it would be extremely weird for them to use it. Finally, with enough cajoling, he dropped the boxes off at their parent's house.
We got most of it back. I still think there was some missing. But it’s still not over yet.
At the rehearsal dinner a week before their wedding, we find out that my wife's ENTIRE family was at the fitting. She was excluded from the very start. Everyone in her family, including cousins, children of cousins, and aunts are dressed similarly.
They are all included in the wedding party. We are visually the outsiders. My wife is heartbroken and leaves their dinner in tears.
Despite a terrible experience at the dinner, the night of their wedding we are called by her mother that Courtney is freaking out. All of these plates she painted need work. My wife, the saint, actually helps. Well, that’s where karma came in. Guess what happens to the plates during the reception? The paint leaks off onto people's food.
It rains at their wedding and is the coldest day on record for June in our area. Their wedding is chock full of decor she had bought in the days prior at TJ Maxx. Some of thestuffstill had price tags on. On top of it, she cheats on him. One and a half years later, he was both divorced and married again. Then, my wife’s other brother get engaged.
They include my wife as a bridesmaid probably to attempt to forego any drama (she wasn't REALLY included), and possibly to appease the mom. Her parents and brothers all start attending the same church that doesn't recognize or condone homosexuality.
Awesome. The church lumps queer people in with "hoes, dealers, and drinkers”.
They don't bat an eye. Despite being a queer couple, once we had the necessary goods it was incredibly easy starting a family for us. We are blessed with two daughters, who happily will never know such family drama.
Well, Todd is impotent and her other brother requires expensive intervention to conceive.
