To Call These People Stupid Would Be An Insult To Stupid People
To be fair, people can’t help having a low IQ, and not everybody has to be brilliant at calculus to make an impact on the world.
But, well, there’s also a certain kind of stupidity that is so glaring and unbelievable, it becomes its own kind of special achievement. These Redditors had the misfortune to meet those idiots, and they barely got out alive.
1. The Heart Wants What It Wants
We are going to call my boyfriend in this Jeff. So, I've been dating Jeff for four years. I have known him since high school, but I didn't realize he was a fool until this incident. This incident happened two years ago and we were two years into our relationship. We moved into an apartment and everything was just going great…so far. Until all of a sudden, he revealed his true self to me.
After work one day, I stopped by the store to get some stuff for dinner. I had gotten very little sleep the night before, and I had accidentally locked my keys in my car.
They had fallen out of my purse, or I thought I put them in my purse, I honestly don't know how I did it. I am surprised I even got to the store.
My car windows were up completely, so there was no way of somehow jamming something in there to unlock it.
However, I remembered I had a spare key at the apartment, so I called Jeff to stop by the apartment on his way home from work and bring me the spare key for my car to unlock it. He was about to get off anyways, and by the time I was done shopping, he'd be off work and almost at the apartment. I thought it was going to be so simple, but it all went so wrong.
Me: hey, I accidentally locked myself out of the car, can you bring me my spare car key? Jeff:......how did you even do that? Me: I honestly don't remember, something involving my purse, can you bring me my car key please? I'll get you pop tarts.
Jeff: just unlock your car. Me:....I can't, my keys are locked in the car. Jeff: no you can unlock it, just stick your hand through the window and unlock it.
Me: no I can't, my window is up. Jeff: get a coat hanger. Me: I can't, my window is COMPLETELY up, there is absolutely no way I can get anything through my window. Jeff: yes you can just stick your hand through the window and unlock it!
I honestly couldn't believe I was actually having this conversation. Me: listen to me very carefully.......
My window is completely rolled up, meaning there is no way for me to put my hand through the window and unlock it, there is no way to put a coat hanger through the window because the window, all the windows, are COMPLETELY rolled up!!!
Jeff: well I don't know what you want me to do about it. Me: BRING. ME. MY. SPARE. CAR. KEY. Jeff: WHY?!
I honestly thought he was messing with me, but he really sounded aggravated and like I wasn't understanding him at all Me: I will tell you later, please bring me my spare car key from the apartment please. Jeff: Ok fine I don't see why you need it.
I hung up, because DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. I go inside and get my shopping done, I see his car pull into the store’s parking lot and I head outside to meet him. That’s when I get an idea. He hands me my spare key. Me: come here Jeff Jeff: Oooo am I going to get a kiss?! ......no Me: look into my car Jeff. Jeff looks into my car Me: do you see my keys in there Jeff. Jeff: yes? Me: try to get them out Jeff.
Jeff tries to open my car door. It is locked. Jeff: I can't it's locked. Me: try to get them out without my spare car key. Jeff then proceeds to look for a window cracking. There is none.
Jeff: I can't there isn't a way to stick my hand or anything in there to unlock. At this point, I am staring at Jeff. He doesn't understand why I am staring at him.
I handed him my keys and told him to show me how to get the car keys out now. His response made me want to hit myself in the head. He then unlocked the door, rolled down my window, locked the car, shut the door, and then reached his arm through the OPEN window and unlocked it. Jeff: see like that, unlock it like that! At this point, I had such a massive headache from him not understanding why it was literally impossible for me to do any of that.
I just put the groceries into my car, I got into my car and I drove home. That night at home, he asked if I was mad at him. Me:.....I wouldn't say mad.......more like.....frustrated....annoyed.....tired......baffled.
Jeff: well I can understand, especially if you couldn't simply unlock your door like I showed you today. Two weeks later, we decided go to the downtown area for our date night. Before heading downtown, we had to get gas. I was waiting in his car when he rolled down his window and unlocked it from the outside by sticking his arm through THE OPEN WINDOW
Jeff: seeee like that, next time your keys are locked in your car, unlock it like that.
I really thought about just getting out of the car and beating him with the bag of candy he bought me from the gas station, but I don't believe he would understand why I was beating him.
He later brought it up to my mom at dinner and she also tried to explain to him why his idea wouldn't work AT ALL, but he was determined to make sense of it, when he couldn't because the WINDOW WAS ROLLED UP.
That was two years ago, I am still very much dating him to the point we are engaged now. I love him deeply, he is a good man. He just happens to be an idiot.
2. I Do Not Want This Woman Taking Care Of Me
Some background info: This woman I know, Shelley, is a 37-year-old with an RN degree in the Philippines. We work at an assisted living home. She was hired in November, but called out for three months before finally showing up. Which is when my company made a stunning realization. She was now heavily pregnant, something no one knew about.
Beyond that, she’s awful at her job. These are some of the things she’s done: A resident was prescribed a sublingual medication, because they were unable to swallow. Shelley nearly gave the medication with applesauce.
For anyone who doesn’t know, sublingual means it needs to be absorbed under the tongue. Which you are taught very thoroughly in our certification classes.
A swallowed dosage means the resident could have received a way higher dosage or a much much lower one. A medication error like that could mean extreme pain or worse. Also, some medications need to be refrigerated.
We have three fridges that are all labeled with very large signs. She put the medication in the specimen fridge, where we had urine samples.
She then left it there for days without telling anyone, and did not give it to the resident like she was supposed to. And that wasn’t even the worst. A resident of mine had pancreatic cancer. She and I were talking about the female resident’s state when Shelley asked if the resident was lying about her condition. Given that we had a doctor’s diagnosis and scans to prove it, I said no.
She said, “But only men have a pancreas, how can she have that cancer?” She was thinking of the prostate, a completely different thing. Another one: A resident has Fentanyl patches that are to be changed every 72 hours.
Shelley had been throwing the used patches in the regular trash cans. Fentanyl patches come with express warnings to avoid dumping them in the trash.
If a dog, kid, or bunny were to come across it, they will die if they chew on it or even stick it on themselves. It’s written all over the box, on our documentation sheet, and even on a sign in the residents’ room. We have a lot of dogs in the facility and disoriented individuals, and trashes are often left unattended. Last but certainly not least…
A resident has four eye drops that are required to be given over the course of 20-45 minutes to ensure their effectiveness. The resident has a camera in her room to ensure this time elapses.
The family came in very upset this last week, because Shelley kept going into her room for one eye drop, and never going back to administer the others at any point.
When she was confronted by the family and the Director, she said she did go back in for the eye drops. Despite nonstop video showing that she never went back in and the resident never left.
She still insists that she went back in and that the video is “lying".
3. Brothers In Arms
I lived in a fraternity, and Jim was my roommate. To be fair, Jim is brilliant with anything related to computers. To be equally fair, Jim is brilliant with absolutely nothing else.
Jim has decided that the five desktop computers he has somehow fit under his twin bed are no longer sufficient. Jim decides to custom-build a monstrosity of a computer to replace the desktops.
While I was gone at class, Jim has decided that there is not enough space in our room for the ogre he is building, so he moves MY bed out into the hallway. Jim is gone at the computer store when I get back and see this. But I got my revenge. I return the favor by moving my bed back in and his bed out to the front yard. A fraternity brother is taking a nap on it when Jim returns and pitches a fit.
He keeps tripping the circuit breaker. His computer is drawing way more current than it was designed for. Jim tries to solve this problem by placing a gas generator precariously on the window sill and plugging into that. This works until a variety of bugs and one very confused squirrel attempt to make our room their new home. I tell Jim the generator has got to go, which of course results in him pitching a new fit. Then he does something truly idiotic.
Jim has hired an electrician to install a new circuit for our room for his computer. It is winter, and the average temperature outside is in the negatives. Our room requires no heater.
The computer is so large and energy-intensive that if we DON'T open up the window with the snow outside, the room turns into a sauna. Our fraternity rents our internet from the university.
I'm on door duty. The IT guy knocks on the door. He tells me that he thinks there is either an error or a hardware malfunction, as it shows our single house is consuming a substantial portion of the entire university's bandwidth.
I show him to the router box. He confirms that there is no error. Our house is indeed consuming a large amount of data.
He tells me I have 72 hours to solve this problem or the university will both throttle our speed way down and put a cap on overall data. I head straight to Jim.
He is trying to argue that the billion files he is downloading are encrypted, so IT has no idea what the data is.
It takes a while for Jim to understand that IT doesn't care what he is downloading, but that if he continues this behavior there will be NO internet for him or anyone else in the house.
Jim now works for NASA.
Pexels
4. Orange You Glad You Asked?
About a month and a half ago, my boyfriend came to visit me at school. He was there for lunch, too, and somehow carrots were brought up, so he said, “Oh, I’m allergic to carrots". My friend right next to us then piped in with: “
What do they put in carrots that you’re allergic to?” It still gets brought up to this day; he’ll never live it down.
