Brutally Awkward Dates
No one really likes a first date, unless you're some kind of masochist. After all, pretty much all first dates are embarrassing in some way, but few make it to the level of deep, uncomfortable cringe that these Redditors shared. Grab the popcorn and prepare to white-knuckle it through these tales of brutally awkward dates.
1. Blinded By The Dawn
In my second year of college, I was pulling an all-nighter at the same time as one of my friends, who was very cute. We weren't in the same place, but we kept messaging over Facebook. It was really nice just talking with her.
I had been single for about two months and was feeling confident. When dawn hit and our papers were done, she asked me out for celebratory breakfast.
I looked like I had just finished an all-nighter, and she looked radiant. As our breakfast went on, we talked, laughed, and the caffeine begins to mix with the satisfaction of completing my work for the semester.
I’m feeling like I'm in a really good place. The sun is starting to fill the windows of the restaurant we're in, and there's this warm light everywhere.
She smiles coyly and asks me if I'm over my ex. I smile, say I am and I'm already thinking about who I'd like to ask out next. She smiles even broader and asks me who that is while touching me on the hand. And I said the stupidest thing possible. "Her name is Rebecca and she was in one of my history classes." Distinctly, this was not the girl I was out to breakfast with.
She looked devastated. At the time, I had no idea why. Realizing the mood had changed I quickly said, "I'm sad the semester's ending soon, but I'll see you in the spring!"
I ran back to my dorm, ending what I would later learn was the first date with my future wife.
2. Times Were Tough In The Nineties
My wife was set up on a blind date by a friend several years before I met her. They agreed to meet at a mall and then go from there.
This is the late nineties, before cell phones, so he tells her he'll be wearing blue jeans and a Megadeth t-shirt and she tells him her outfit so they can identify each other. She arrives at the mall and sits down to wait.
After thirty minutes there’s still no sign of him. She’s about to leave when a guy approaches her and asks if she's waiting for a date. It's him, but wearing a completely different outfit. Confused, she asks why he told her he'd be wearing something else. His response was absolutely insane. He just shrugged and says his mom didn’t do the laundry yet. Two strikes...
They still decide to grab some food. He tried to use an expired coupon and started an argument with the girl behind the counter. At the table, he asks my wife if she knows how to cook. What meals does she know how to cook?
Can she make this or how does she make that etc. The conversation continues but now he adds, "Do you do it naked?" after everything.
For example, she likes to go rock climbing, “but do you do it naked?" Or, I like to grow my own vegetables, "but do you do it naked?" Needless to say, my wife decided to end the date early and leave.
He asks if she can lend him bus fare since his mom won't be coming to get him for several hours. He was twenty-seven years old.
3. Frosty Valentine
This was embarrassing at the moment, but it worked out. It was a second date, on Valentine's Day, so I decided to go all out. I bought her flowers, a musical card, and chocolates.
I was aiming to impress her and couldn’t wait to surprise her after the date. It was freezing cold, and I didn't have anywhere to keep the presents except my car, which I thought would be fine.
We finish dinner and everything is going smooth until we get back to my car. The flowers had withered, but I thought, “That’s ok, I still have two more surprises!” I hand her the card and hear it go bbbzzzzzz as she opens it.
I sighed and said, "Well... I hope the chocolates are okay." She started laughing and gave me our first kiss.
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4. Anxious Love
My first date with my now-husband. Two very anxious people with no dating experience. We decided to go to the library and use their wifi to watch Netflix in the backseat.
As soon as we got to the library he got out of the car and threw up in the parking lot. I then admitted to him that I had done the same before he picked me up. He tried to play it off, but we both knew it was nerves.
