"You Are Not The Father" Paternity Stories
Five legendary words are the reason shows like Jerry Springer and Maury were so good: “You are NOT the father!”
1. Calm And Uncollected
I used to work in the newborn nursery at a hospital. We get the babies right from delivery, clean them up, footprint them, check their vitals, etc. Dads usually came in with the newborns. So one day, this dad came in with this baby.
The dad was white, the mom was white, and the baby was very obviously not white. The dad was very quiet standing next to the baby, watching us clean it up.
He said quietly, "I don't think this is my baby". You could tell he was absolutely devastated. We advised him not to sign the birth certificate until he was sure.
Not sure what happened after we sent the baby back out to the mom, but I felt awful for the guy.
2. Oops Baby
I've never cheated on my husband, and after our second kid, he had a vasectomy. Cut to a year later—I discovered I was pregnant (and then subsequently lost the pregnancy).
I began to freak out because I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, but I was scared everyone else would think I did. Turns out, my husband was embarrassed to do the whole cup thing at his doctor's, so he never did the sperm count test.
He still had a count and needed further "treatment". Scariest darned day of my life.
3. Chosen Family
My fiancé’s father is almost certainly not his biological dad. His mom was just a genuinely terrible human being who didn’t even try to hide the fact she was cheating.
But his dad loved him from the second he was born, and when his mom decided four years later she just didn’t want him anymore, she just gave him to his "dad" and rode off.
His dad ended up getting remarried and they tried for kids before finding out his sperm count was too low to ever father children (they ended up adopting many years later). He sat my fiancé down when he was 13 and told him the truth.
The dad said that if he wanted to do a test they would, but it was up to him.
My fiancé cried and told him he just wanted him to be his dad, and that was the end of that.
4. Never A Dull Moment
My wife is a registered nurse as well as a hospital supervisor. “Code Yellow” is the code over the intercom for security and/or large male nurses needed.
It rarely ever happens, but every now and then, over the speakers, you hear a “Code Yellow to Labor and Delivery". You know the reason.
