There’s nothing quite like witnessing somebody’s dream day turn into an utter horror story. These Redditors had invitations to some of the wildest weddings ever, and their stories truly take the cake: bridezillas, devastating accidents, disturbing confessions, and so much more. Buckle up and watch these fairytales fall apart.
1. He Just Ran Into My Knife
I was helping out at my parents’ restaurant. They were hosting a huge wedding party and everything was going well…at first. I was busy serving drinks and suddenly loud yelling and screaming started right behind me. As it turns out, the bride had somehow found out the groom’s dark secret. How bad was it? Well, he had hooked up with her sister right before the wedding ceremony—and apparently on a few occasions before.
To say that she did not react well would be an understatement. Actually, what happened next kind of reminds of that lyric from Chicago’s “Cell Block Tango.” How does it go again? Oh, yeah. “And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.” In her anger, the bride grabbed a dinner fork from the table and plunged it into the groom’s chest…several times. We had to call first responders. It was absolutely insane.
Apparently, the (former) bride’s parents are still regular guests at my parents’ restaurant. And, according to my mother, they told her that the groom and the bride’s sister now actually have two children together and are planning on getting married.
2. When It Rains, It Pours
It was an outdoor ceremony at a golf course with an indoor reception at the clubhouse. About an hour before the ceremony, the skies went dark and storm clouds began rolling in. I always tell my outdoor brides we need to call the wedding no later than 30 minutes in advance so we have time to move guests indoors, as well as any important items (flowers, decor, etc).
In this case, the bride had a beautiful indoor venue that could be used for both the ceremony and reception, which is why there was no tent. I suggested to the bride that she move her ceremony inside, but she said no. She wanted it outside. I showed her the clouds. “It’s Seattle,” she said. “There are always clouds.” I thought to myself, well yes, but these are storm clouds and you have 200 people sitting outside on a golf course…
She wouldn’t budge. At the 20-minute mark before the ceremony, it started to get windy. Nothing big yet, but this was just another sign that wet weather was upon us. She still wouldn’t reconsider. Several guests were then seated outside; though many others hovered inside the reception area because it started to get cold out. I told her this and warned her what would happen if it rained during the ceremony.
She still wanted it outside. When the ceremony began, everything immediately unraveled. First, it started to sprinkle. Bridesmaids were getting wet as they walked down the aisle. Shoes were sinking into the grass. Guests were looking worried. The bride walked down the aisle just as big wind gusts came. The rain started to fall in earnest, and it was too gusty to use umbrellas.
We weren’t even five minutes into the ceremony when the heavens suddenly opened and it POURED. Guests started running inside. The ceremony was still happening for the bride, but the guests were bailing. Musicians grabbed their instruments and headed inside. The bridal party continued to stand there like nothing was happening, much like the band on the Titanic.
There were maybe 20 guests left. It was an open downpour, so anyone left behind was just soaked. The officiant was rushing at this point; though, there wasn’t really anyone left to witness the vows. Before they got to the kiss, the lightning began. At that point, they finally bailed. The bride and bridal party spent the reception looking like drowned rats.
The bride was just ruined. Runny makeup, hair smushed. She had rashes on her skin from being wet all night. Wet lace and heavy ball gowns are also not easily worn wet. All the decor that was meant to be moved inside following the ceremony was ruined…Thousands of dollars on flowers and centerpieces down the drain. Literally.
And in the end, hardly anyone witnessed the ceremony at all, and they didn’t even get to finish. Bad bride.
Fact: Swords Akimbo
In early European history, weddings were more of a cutthroat affair. The best man was literally the best swordsman. He was there to protect the groom and fight off anyone trying to disrupt the wedding. Additionally, the groom would strategically place himself on the right side of the altar to allow for easy access to his own sword. No doubt, a fool-proof way of keeping those pesky in-laws in check.
3. I’m Like A Bird
I was the best man at my sister-in-law’s wedding. After a whole year of planning, all the bride wanted was a ex release while they said handwritten vows to each other. It was a very small, non-denominational wedding. The day arrived in early summer and all seemed to be going well…except something was off with the bird handlers.
They showed up a bit late and were sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time came to say their vows, I helped the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to the altar where the bride and groom were standing. Vows were just about wrapping up and the handler gave ME the signal to open the chest. I opened it and witnessed a horrific sight.
I saw 20 to 30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE! I immediately closed it and tried to pretend nothing was wrong. Too late. The look of horror on the bride’s face was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up, but by the end of the reception, the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on.
4. Stairway From Heaven
I’m a wedding photographer. I was at one really fancy event a couple of years ago. It was a typical outdoor deal at a swanky location in the middle of nowhere. The place was really nice—it had a large concrete stairway flanked by water fountains that led down to the altar area, so the bride could be seen by all like she was ascending from heaven.
The ceremony began and the bridal party came down to take their places. Then the bride appeared with her father. She took three or four steps down the concrete steps, then disaster hit. Her shoe twisted on her and she tumbled down a good 12 feet or more. She busted out the majority of her front teeth in the fall, and there was so much blood all over her.
With the place being so isolated, it took a good 40 minutes for the ambulance to arrive and she was in intense pain. Ultimately, she was OK and I got an email from them weeks later with the reschedule date. This time, there were no stairs anywhere in sight.
5. I…Sort Of…Do
The bride told me two days before that she found her fiancé annoying and that she didn’t like him and that he was AWFUL in bed. She was visibly, endlessly uncomfortable at the rehearsal wedding/dinner combo—and then it got worse. On the day-of, she sobbed the entire morning. She ended up not getting any makeup done cause she wouldn’t stop scream-sobbing.
She refused to get dressed, stalling the wedding for about 35 minutes. At the ceremony, she said 45 minutes of “vows” that she had prepared. It was nine pages of inappropriate vows to friends and family, his parents and sisters, none of them for her husband. She then almost didn’t say, “I do.” She managed to get a, “Uh, yeah, okay, yeah I do,” out of her almost a full 60 seconds after she was supposed to say anything.
I could go on for hours, but it was the most painful and awkward wedding I’ve ever been to. I’ve got my money on 10 months. We’re one month in.
6. No Show Nuptials
I’ve catered many weddings and there have been some memorable ones. Fights between guests, wedding cakes falling over, things spilled on wedding dresses, the lot. But there was one I’ll never forget. It was an all-day do with a small ceremony of a few close friends and family. There was then a big reception filled with a huge buffet and a free bar.
It was all in the same venue and they had paid for 250 evening guests. But here’s the thing—only 30 guests turned up, at most. My heart broke for this couple. A beautifully converted barn, loads of food and drinks, great music—but no guests. At about 10 pm (the venue was licensed until 11 pm), the buffet food had barely been touched.
The few people who were there ate, but it hardly made a dent as it was planned for so many more people. I asked the mother of the bride if she wanted me to cover and refrigerate the untouched food so the new couple could take it home. Her reply made me cringe. She said, “Oh no, there are still a lot of people coming.” It was the most awkward I’ve ever felt in my life.
No more guests showed. There was a flash of car headlights in the distance at about 10:30 pm and the bride BEAMED when she thought it was latecomers arriving. But no, it was just taxis arriving to pick up the few who were there. It’s the only event I have ever done where we didn’t have to kick people out of the venue. At 11 pm, the place was empty. Then we found out the whole story.
In a nutshell, the bride’s parents paid for the day, and the happy couple had zero control over their guest list. Her parents invited all their “friends” to the evening function, but in reality, it was just associates they wanted to flex on—resulting in no one caring at all about an invite to a wedding where they didn’t know the bride or groom. It was basically just a networking event for the bride’s parents.
7. What A Way To Go
I’ve been to a few awful weddings, but this one was the worst. I did a dessert table for a wedding at my old country club job once. As I was setting up, people started shuffling in…keep in mind, the actual marriage ceremony was supposed to be going on at that moment, so nothing was fully set up. The couple was nowhere to be found.
It felt more like a funeral than anything else; just people talking quietly amongst themselves. I tracked down the club’s wedding photographer since I knew he’d probably have details and I found him chatting with a bridesmaid. Apparently, the couple was super Christian, conservative, and young—like, in their 20s. The groom got sent to a “pray away the gay camp” as a high schooler after getting caught with his best friend.
He was there for a year. When he came back, he met this girl and they decided to get married. Well, he ran into the guy he got caught with like two months before the wedding, decided he missed their friendship, and they started hanging out again. As the wedding got closer, he realizes: “What the heck am I doing?” He started freaking out, and the night before the wedding, he went to the guy’s house. That’s when it got WEIRD.
He called the bride and she refused to accept that he was not showing. So she went through the whole mess of getting ready and he didn’t show up. She lost her darn mind on the speakerphone with him at the church where everyone could hear, all while he was yelling, “I’m gay! I like men! I love him, and my parents can’t force me anymore! This isn’t about you and you’ll thank me in the long run!”
8. Ghosted At The Chapel
As a wedding photographer, I have been to more than my share of weddings. I don’t know what happened with this one…but it was a little surreal. I sat down with the bride and groom and filled out the contract and then I got the deposit. The groom suddenly stood up, said forget it, and walked out. But I didn’t find out the dark truth until later. Two months later, to be precise.
That’s when I get told the wedding is off. Three months after that, the same bride called to rebook with—get this—a different groom—but the story doesn’t end there. The day of the wedding, I’m at the church. I’d gotten the final payment the week before. So, I’m waiting there and…no one shows. No one. Well, except for me and the DJ.
9. You Can’t Keep This Hoedown
I played in a wedding band for several years. We played a wedding at a farm and they provided us with a greenroom. It was just one of two small rooms built into the side of a barn. After we finished the first set, we and a few of the guests all went back to this barn to hang out. Once we were inside, we could clearly hear two people sharing what should have been a private moment.
We all thought that it was funny as all get out, and started making all sorts of noises to let the couple know that we were there. The noises coming from the couple stopped immediately, but nothing else happened for a while. We all thought that the couple was too embarrassed to come out just yet. They were probably sorting themselves out and bracing for the walk of shame.
More time went by and the couple still didn’t come out. So, one of the guests knocked on the door to ask if everything was alright. The door opened and the best man, who was married, appeared and literally bolted out of the barn as fast as he could with his jacket pulled over his head to try and hide his face. Then, a few seconds later, the bride walked out and started crying her eyes out.
It turns out they had been sleeping together behind the groom’s back for quite a while. The groom got wind of what had happened in the barn. There was a lot of shouting and then I’m not sure what happened after that. We just packed up all of our stuff and got out of there. Eventually, I found out the ending of that strange story.
A few years later we got a request from the same bride and best man to play at THEIR wedding—and that’s not the weirdest part. They were having it at the same venue.
10. Bachelor Party Proposal
Not really a wedding moment as much as a bachelor party moment, but my ex got married to a woman two years ago from a super conservative religious family. We were still friends for the most part and I was surprised he asked me to be a groomsman but I figured, hey, it’s always good to be able to stay friends with your exes—that feels like mature growth and closure.
He got really wasted at the bachelor party and at one point asked me if I ever had any regrets about us breaking up. I said I had loved him but no—we had made the right decision in the long run. And then he told me that he sometimes wishes that we were getting married the next week and how his fiancé’s family will never accept him. Then it got even more uncomfortable.
After an awkward pause, he said, “What if we just run away together?” I laughed it off as a joke and said we should rejoin the group. Then he said it again later again in a joking tone. And then a third time later in the night. We had been friends for years but only dated for like six months. Turns out he asked the same thing to another one of his exes who wasn’t a groomsman, but was attending the wedding.
The couple is still together technically, but separated.
11. Her Own Worst Enemy
I work as a wedding server. As soon as someone says “Bridezilla.” I think of this one story where the manager of our hotel had to shut down the wedding halfway through. This was the Bridezilla of all the Bridezillas I’ve ever seen. There were a lot of little things leading up that were casual Bridezilla—until the wedding took a dark turn.
At one point, she accused the wedding server staff of taking her veil…then the manager found it in her room and also showed her the card swipes to her room proving only she had been in the room that day. About 20 minutes later, she was screaming at some poor front desk employee accusing her of taking her wedding boots.
The manager intervened again, and after a long talk the photographer told them he had a photo of the boots on the staircase of the church, and asked if she had worn them since…When she said no, she told our place it was our job to have picked them up and made sure she had them, even though the church was not related to our place at all.
THEN shortly after she started opening the wedding gifts frantically inside the ballroom and screaming at anyone and everyone, guests included, saying someone took her wedding certificate. After that, our manager gathered the wedding staff and told us to take off our uniform jackets, empty them in front of him, then to clock out and go home.
Which we all did. None of us took anything. We heard next day that the maid of honor had the certificate and after we left the wedding was shut down completely.
12. A Load Off His Mind
I was at a wedding where the best man got super wasted before he made his speech. Well, that turned out to be a problem as he had a lot on his mind. He said: “We all know how easy the bride is. I can name at least seven guys here she’s been with.” But he had another bombshell to drop. He continued and said: “To be fair, it’s not like the groom is much better. Let’s not forget he was with MY wife a few weeks ago.”
Well, the speech lasted about another five minutes. He got even more wasted at the wedding and couldn’t stand by the end of the night without help. As for the marriage, it lasted just over 18 very rocky months—the last few months were the worst. Technically they are still together, it’s a long story. They don’t live together anymore and the divorce was filed a long time ago and he is just making it as hard as possible.
Fact: Single For Life
Why risk a terrible wedding or a horrible marriage when you can just marry…yourself. Believe it or not, this is not a new thing. In fact, what’s sometimes called “sologamy” or self-marriage dates back to 1993. It’s not legal everywhere, but that doesn’t stop these self-loving singletons from throwing mock weddings and spending tons of money in the process.
13. That’s Nuts
A co-worker of mine was at his best friend’s wedding. At the reception, there were very specific rules about the food—no nuts was the big one. There were a couple of people there, including the maid of honor, who was severely allergic to them. Well, the venue served something that had nuts, and the maid of honor went anaphylactic. Her Epi-pen wasn’t effective, and she passed on the way to the hospital. Obviously, lawsuits were expected.
14. Guest Got Grumpy
From a guest’s perspective—mine—this wedding was a disaster. I wonder if it’s an omen that the marriage won’t last. First, I bought the identical dress as the bridal party (so I had to buy a new one at the Good Neighbor store: $8!) We all parked across a highway so, after the wedding, when it got dark, everyone took their lives in their hands crossing it to get back to their vehicles.
We sat at table number 19. They started serving at 22 went to 34 then back to 1 through 21 so we were at the third last table. Supper started at 6:30, but we didn’t eat until 8:30. The last meal I’d had was at noon so we had an eight and a half hour fast during the day. There was midnight pizza at 10:30, but we were still full from supper.
There were 300 people and only two porta-potties (one for men and one for women). We weren’t allowed to use the washrooms in the house whatsoever, not even the elderly or kids. Next, we all almost got hit by fireworks. There were literally people screaming and running for cover as they came directly into the crowd, including myself.
The last straw was the country music they played for over an hour straight—I can’t stand that genre of music. It may have gone longer than an hour but we left before that. I know I was only a guest, but so much bad luck can’t be good for the marriage.
15. The Unhappy Hippy
I worked a wedding where the bride and groom were hippies, while the groom’s father was the chief of the local police. They were all from the same little town. One side of the room was full of officers, and the other side was full of dread-locked, patchouli-wearing, barefooted hippies. After dinner was over, the entire hippy crowd went outside and stood in a huge circle to get high while the officers looked on with utter disgust on their faces. It was epic—but then it got weird.
The bride was off her rocker but eventually came to her senses when she caught wind that someone was planning an after-party without her approval. She didn’t like that one bit. She started screaming at the top of her lungs, “WHERE IS SHE?” over and over again while storming around. When she found, the girl, a bridesmaid, she proceeded to freak out on her.
It was in the middle of the dance floor, in front of 300 people. The bridesmaid started to cry and the bride completely lost her mind. All anyone could do was stare with their mouths hanging wide open in disbelief….the words that came out of that bride were some of the absolute worst. Several people tried to step in, but the bride lashed out at everyone.
It was the single most disgusting thing I’d ever seen. The girl ran off and the bride proceeded to pass out on a couch in the bathroom. Classy girl. When it’s your “big day,” for the love of God, please be of sound mind.
16. This Wedding Almost Went Horizontal
At one wedding I attended, the groom ended up at the emergency room between the ceremony and the reception. Apparently, he’d gone out the night before the wedding with his sister and friends and got completely plastered. They had to hold a cold pack to the back of his neck to keep him going vertical during the wedding photos.
The marriage lasted 30 days until they had a fight, she left the house and he filled the U-Haul truck with everything but her clothes.
17. A Real Showstopper
This didn’t happen at a wedding but at a 30-year wedding anniversary. I was working as a waiter at a hotel and we had ballrooms for private parties and other bigger events. The bride and groom had spared no expense. There were about 100 guests, a five-course meal, an open bar, and a whole day party. We were supposed to close it at 4 in the morning.
It was grand—one of the biggest parties I had waited on so far. After the main course, the husband stood up and gave a speech. A long one. He started out reminiscing about when they had met: their early life together, the hard times they had endured, etc. He then talked at length about how he loved their children and told each of them how proud he was of their accomplishments.
So far, it was one of the better speeches I had ever heard. It was heartfelt, and he had a lot of charisma. He was well-spoken and funny, too. But then it took a dark turn. He looked at his wife again. He told her that he had hated her for the last four years of their life together. He called her a toxic narcissist and said she had made him feel miserable to the point where he contemplated ending it all.
He also her that he knew she had a lover. He pointed him out in the crowd, next to his wife and children. He had evidence and was suing for divorce, intending to take everything. He gave her the divorce papers right then and there. Oh, but it got even better. He then announced to everyone that he had gotten his own apartment. He had hired movers to move all his stuff while they were at the party, and he said he would be leaving shortly.
In the stunned silence that ensued, he tipped all staff, dishwashers, bosses, waiters, and busboys $200 each and left. Needless to say, everyone left within the hour.
18. Think Of The Children!!
So this wedding took place in an Episcopal church. The priest had all his finery on and the church itself was decorated very nicely for the occasion. The bride and groom had made a point of asking everyone to wear casual clothes. We all took that to mean “semi-formal.” Nope. They and their kids all came out wearing overalls and white t-shirts.
They stood next to the priest, who was in his formal robes. The other cringey part was when the groom, in the middle of the ceremony, started repeatedly talking about the Bible verse “let the little children come to me” and insisting it implied “and listen to what they’re telling you.” He kept saying that over and over again, even though most of us had no idea what he meant.
He then launched into an impromptu twenty-minute speech explaining how he and the bride had gotten together. There were plenty of parts in the story where the groom was like “I wasn’t sure she was right for me,” but his son was pressing him because “he wanted a mom.” It was a sad story actually, as the kid lost his biological mom when he was only four and this was eight years later.
So, his speech was basically this long and unfocused story that boiled down to “I’m marrying this woman so that my kid can have a mom.” That, and some more confusing Bible references mixed in here and there for good measure. Not a good sign when that’s your main reason for getting married to someone. Nevertheless, I knew it, probably half the attendees knew it, and the priest definitely knew it.
That whole background story might have been okay to tell during the reception, under a certain kind of atmosphere, but I have no idea why he decided to tell it in the middle of the actual wedding ceremony. When all was said and done, this couple ended up getting divorced less than two years later.
19. Cooking Up Trouble
I was the maid of honor. Me, the best man and the couple went into a separate little room to do the signing stuff. The bride excused herself to go to the bathroom and the groom started making pretty mean remarks about her cooking—something she’s passionate about—to the officiary. She came back, heard they were talking about cooking family meals together and gave him the warmest smile, thinking he had praised her.
He scoffed awkwardly and changed the topic. That’s always stuck with me. He wasn’t laughing WITH her but AT her, behind her back. They lasted seven months.
20. In The Dark
I used to do catering work, and this one time, my boss sent me to a remote location in the woods on a beautiful river. I found out while we were loading the truck that the boss wouldn’t be going and that I was essentially in charge. My boss promised me that everything was taken care of…Little did I know it would be a complete nightmare.
You can imagine my surprise when I arrived at this remote location and literally nothing was set up. We were only about an hour early, so I frantically started trying to get the tent in order. We needed extension cords to run the coffee and tea, but there were none there. We needed tables to set up the food, but there were none. I somehow whipped up some last-minute fixes for the missing things.
Then, just as the bride and groom are arriving, it got so much worse. We blew the fuse for our only power source and the place was plunged into darkness. We reset the breaker and I moved some stuff around, but the fuse blew again. This delicate dance went on for the entire evening—through speeches, the first dance, everything. I think the worst part of the entire experience was when we went to rinse our dishes before boxing them up and found out that the water pump for the place stopped working and needed to be primed again.
At that point, I said forget about it, we’ll take them back dirty, and the crew and I spent several more hours after the long ride home doing them. That was the day I worked a 15-hour shift without a break—and still ruined the wedding. Needless to say, I quit that job.
21. He Wheeled His Way To Divorce
This is one of my go-to stories because it’s really insane. At his stag, my uncle was trying to breakdance and had an accident. He ended up at the hospital because he broke his neck. So at the wedding he has to go down the aisle in a wheelchair. She divorced shortly after. He can walk again now, but because of his surgery, he cannot turn his neck.
Fact: Why White?
In 1840, Queen Victoria changed wedding traditions forever when she chose the color white for her wedding dress. Before then, most women chose colorful frocks that could be easily worn again and again. Those who did wear white communicated their status, proudly letting the commoners know that, as rich brides, they could afford to have their dresses cleaned.
22. Some Like It Hot
I had this client book me two weeks before the actual wedding. I regret taking it to this day. She had no transportation to take her home at the end of the night. I asked her repeatedly what her plan was, and she told me she would just refrain from drinking and drive herself to her honeymoon spot. She never told me where that was, even though I kept asking.
Fast forward two weeks. A massive tornado just went through the area the day before her wedding, so there were power lines and trees blocking every entrance to the highway in the boonies of Maryland. I got up early to deal with the issues at the venue—there was no electricity on a 100-degree day, so that was a huge problem. I got a call from her around 6 am saying she realized she now needed transportation.
Fine, I decided I’d find it for her. “One last question, where is this mystery honeymoon spot?” I asked her. Turned out, it was hours away in West Virginia. I called every Maryland-based limo company and begged them to find someone to drive into the Maryland countryside at 11 pm and then take them to West Virginia. Finally, someone relented and I called the bride to tell her the price. Complete. Meltdown.
“Well guess what, you requested that at the last minute, so you’re going to pay whatever they want to charge you,” I told her. The wedding itself was a complete circus. The bride hated her hair and makeup and made it very well known to me, even though she had personally booked the stylist. As it was 100 degrees out, the original unshaded area was going to be terrible for the ceremony.
I suggested we moved it somewhere cooler for her comfort, like underneath this beautiful centuries-old tree. She refused, but as guests arrived, they did nothing but complain. I decided to say screw it and moved the ceremony to make everyone happy. It was a one-hour traditional Jewish ceremony and no way was I going to let people suffer in the sun.
After the ceremony, I had to wait outside the bridal suite while the couple had a wedding ceremony…which is something I never want to witness again. That ceremony went way over schedule, thus extending cocktail hour and shortening the reception. The bride freaked out that she lost out on dancing time and blamed it on me.
At the end of the night during clean-up, the mother of the bride started throwing decor in her car rather than let my team do the load out. As soon as she left, I noticed my emergency kit was nowhere to be found. I called her and she claimed she never saw it, even though it was next to the decor we had started to pile up.
The next week, I got a call from the venue saying they saw a car throw a bag out of their window onto the steps of the venue before speeding away. Alas, it was my bag and I had to drive for over 90 minutes to go fetch it, even though the mother and bride lived super close to me and had my address. To top it all off, I got a heat stroke and my poor assistant had to drive us home at midnight.
23. Ex Marked His Spot
I was at a wedding where I was a plus one for my date. The bride was totally inebriated and sat down at our table and started talking to us. She then told me that she’d slept with her ex right before walking down the aisle. She literally did it with her ex in her wedding dress in the bridal suite. She then downed the last of my drink and went off to the dance floor.
I was left speechless. Less than a year later, the bride and groom were divorced.
24. This Wedding Was No Cakewalk
This happened at the reception. The cake had come out and the bride was trying to playfully feed the groom a piece of it. She kept pulling it back once it got close to his mouth. The third time she did this, his reaction was chilling. He slapped it out of her hand and stormed off. In the ensuing awkward silence and wide-eyed staring, we all knew it wouldn’t last.
Surprisingly, they were together for nearly two years—but the biggest surprise was yet to come. The bride ran away with her stepbrother and eloped. No one saw that coming.
25. Sister Act
Not a wedding planner, but a wedding guest. It was my cousin’s wedding and he was marrying this very awful girl whom no one, except his sister, liked. This girl hated everything about everyone and liked to be vocal about those things. So, halfway through the reception, I was super bored since I didn’t want to be there. Honestly, I only went because my mother insisted.
The place was very awkward—no one was dancing and the bride was having a screaming contest with her dad outside. I noticed a woman who was very young sitting at the bride’s family table, holding a baby and talking to some guy. I didn’t notice her before since the baby was very quiet during the entire ceremony and they sat at the back.
I recognized that woman as the bride’s 17-year-old sister who, by the way, was a teen mom. The guy, I later learned, was her boyfriend and baby daddy. At some point, the bride came back from outside, looked at her sister angrily, then marched her way to the groom’s family…where she proceeded to complain about how her sister was stupid and irresponsible. Here’s where it got very embarrassing very fast.
She was talking so loudly that her sister, the guy, and everyone could hear her. The sister then started crying quietly while hugging the baby, who was now anxious. The guy, on the other hand, looked ready to attack the bride, and the bride’s father seemed angry as well. Just when things couldn’t get worst, The truth came out.
The bride started talking about how her sister was stealing her thunder, making the day all about herself and her mistakes. The bride’s father then went to talk to her, taking her out of the venue so she could “calm herself,” but everyone could still hear her having a complete and total tantrum outside.
The sister and her partner later said their goodbyes to her family and friends, but she was still crying at that point. Later on, I learned that the bride was always jealous of her sister because she was “the baby and the favorite daughter.” The bride and the sister are no longer on speaking terms.
26. He Whispered Not-So-Sweet Somethings
So, just prior to my wedding I’d asked my husband to practice dancing with me because I’m uncoordinated due to a disability. He blew me off and said we’d be fine. So the wedding night came and as we were dancing, he spoke in my ear, not even quietly. “What are you doing? What’s wrong with you? You’re embarrassing me!!”
We lasted two years. Leaving was the best decision I ever made.
27. Surprise, Surprise
I used to work at a pretty upscale catering hall in New Jersey back when I was in college, and we had one instance where I witnessed a ruined wedding. We all thought it was weird when a couple of the groomsmen got access to the reception room during cocktail hour. It was for “decorating,” they said. Not something we normally saw the men do.
In any case, we got through the main courses just fine, and then one thing became VERY clear to us staff. The bride’s side of the family was VERY conservative. They didn’t drink, they barely danced, and they watched wide-eyed as the groom’s side of the party went wild. Anyway, it came time for the speeches, and about halfway through his speech, the best man stood up.
He said something like, “Hey, bride’s family—I know you think your girl is so sweet and innocent, but if you want to see what they’re REALLY like, look under your seat! That’s when things got insane. Well, taped under EVERY chair was a picture of the bride and groom caught in the act. The groom’s family and friends roared with laughter, but the bride’s side was MORTIFIED.
There were so many fights that broke out that night. Did I mention this was in New Jersey? The wedding was pretty much over at that point.
28. Your Love Has Lifted Me Higher
The groom was high on something strong and giggled throughout the whole ceremony. The best man was the groom’s dealer who dressed in a tux—the only one in a tux. The host of the party alternated between arguing with his wife in Russian and running up to us—us being the only bride’s friends who showed up for the wedding—every time he saw us in groups of two or more.
He said: ‘Don’t smoke, if she (his wife) won’t let me smoke weed in the house then you guys can’t.” Every. Time. We. Grouped. Up.
29. A Lot of Energy in This One
My brother managed a gas station about ten years ago and had hired the soon-to-be bride as an employee. A little while into her employment, she requested a few days off for her wedding. The date was still a couple of months out, so it was no big deal. About a week before her requested time off, she came into work and had the following exchange with my brother:
Bride: “Wanna see my new tattoo?” Bro: “Uh, sure.” She lifts the back of her shirt to reveal a huge, green, Monster Energy “M” covering the whole upper half of her back. Bro: “Holy moly! Wow!” Bride: “Awesome, huh? And my fiance got the same tat!” Bro: “Really?…” Bride: “I know, I know what you’re thinking. Copyright, right?”
“But what are they gonna do? It’s already on my body! It’s ALREADY ON MY BODY! Ha ha!” Bro: “Right. That. That is what I was thinking.” Then, at the ceremony, the pair awkwardly gave the same demonstration to all their guests. There are even pictures of it. I’m working on getting a hold of those. It was a camouflage-themed wedding.
She had an open-back camo gown with camo heels. She even had a camo veil. I really wish it had been ghillie suit headgear. The groom had camo pants with camo boots and a camo bowtie. He was, indeed, shirtless. He did wear a camo ball cap, though. I imagine them walking down the aisle, backs glistening in the sun with vaseline over a huge Monster logo.
Just the perfect day that every kid dreams about someday having. They were happily married for seven whole months.
30. Picture Imperfect
This is what happened at my brother’s wedding. Throughout the exchange of vows, the bride was looking at everyone—except my brother. She was busy making sure all eyes were on her. Later, she instructed the photographer—a family friend who was cheap—to “mingle” and get shots of people “being happy.” Within 10 minutes, she’d summoned the photographer back, shouting, “Whose wedding is this?! I meant get shots of people being happy for me.”
They broke up when she cheated on him. Apparently, the marriage that she was desperate for was only good while it brought her attention.
Fact: A Savory Good Luck Charm
Bouquets weren’t always just pretty accessories. Back in the Middle Ages, people didn’t even choose flowers for their bridal bouquets. Instead, they used a collection of herbs, and sometimes garlic, to keep evil at bay. It was all about superstition and keeping the good times rolling.
31. Too Much Fun
I worked on a tropical island off the coast of Queensland, Australia, and loads of weddings happened there. Most days, there’d be one or two. One time, this groom’s party came through my bar. They were on the bucks party thing before the wedding the next day, and they were pretty in their cups by 4 pm. I figured they started early and would finish early, given they had a sunrise ceremony.
About an hour later, they left for another bar on the island. Then, the bride’s party came through, equally sloshed. I finished work at 9 pm, then came back three hours later to work in the nightclub. I got in at midnight and started pouring drinks. It was busy as heck with like 250 people in the club. Around 1 am, the bride, groom, and their wedding parties rolled in absolutely destroyed.
They looked disgusting. I had no idea why security let them in because I wasn’t going to be serving them. They left about 45 minutes later, which means they would roughly arrive back at their hotel rooms around 2 am with the expectation that the bride and her party needed to be up at 4 am for hair and makeup. But they all decided to keep partying. “We’ll just stay up all night and keep drinking until the wedding!”
At that point, they had to have been drinking for 15 to 18 hours. It backfired so badly. Ceremony time rolled around and she couldn’t walk down the aisle in her heels, so she tossed them off. The groom and all his friends were drunk as heck and could barely stand. They tried to say their vows, but the celebrant couldn’t understand them. This was a huge problem.
She wasn’t allowed to marry them because they were too far gone to consent to marriage. The whole wedding was canned. A simple wedding like the one they had cost $35,000, so they wasted all that money. They did have the reception, though. From what I was told, the bride passed out about an hour in. The groom threw up everywhere.
The mothers of the bride and groom were both crying.
32. What Happens In Vegas…Doesn’t Always Stay In Vegas
This couple I know had their bachelor and bachelorette parties in Vegas at the same time. In fact, they were across the hall from each other. The bride and groom got into a huge fight on the last night of the trip. When I was leaving, I said, “I’ll see you guys at the wedding” to the groom and he replied, “I’m not sure there’s gonna be one.”
There was a wedding, but they were divorced within 18 months.
33. Money Can’t Buy Class
Strap in, folks. This is going to be a bumpy ride. I work in a relatively high-end country club in the American South. We had a doozy last season. It was not only the bride who was crazy, but the whole wedding party. The “Happy Couple” were not members of the club, but had convinced our coordinator to sign off on it.
However, this coordinator quit shortly after booking, and a new girl had to deal with the fallout. First off, they had been extremely rude to our new coordinator and managers through the whole planning process. They had a private coordinator as well, but she was pretty well useless. Ours didn’t even know she existed until the rehearsal.
The bride had demanded all kinds of free stuff during the planning. Now, I have no problem doing a wine tasting to go with the food tasting. However, if you come back three times to try the same free samples, I’m not playing ball anymore. You’re paying for it at that point. You and the five people with you. Fast forward to the rehearsal.
We have regular dinner service going on in our dining room for our (rather exclusive) members. Renting the ballroom for a day does not entitle you to take over the entire clubhouse. The bridal party are drinking, yelling, cursing, and being generally ugly all over the grounds. Nothing was right, according to the private coordinator who had never seen the space before this.
Everything had to be moved. “What do you mean your covered terrace can’t accommodate 250 people for the ceremony without an extra tent?” “I was told the dance floor would be by THOSE windows, not these.” “We absolutely cannot let anyone into the ballroom until after the ceremony, so I don’t care that the terrace is only accessible through it, make them all walk around the building through the wet grass.”
This whole time, the bridal party is getting louder and drinking more. The little old ladies trying to eat poached salmon in peace are obviously annoyed. Father of the bride has set up a provisional account to pay for the wedding, since we don’t accept cash or cards, only accounts. The bridal party knows the account number, and we’ve been told to put everything on it by our managers, as long as the person ordering knows the number.
You can see where this is going. He didn’t see it that night, but he argued every single drink when the bill came. Even the 18-year-old scotch that he alone was drinking. Okay, enough of the day before. On to the main event. Most of this day I was on the periphery, since I was working on the other end of the building. This is the end they weren’t supposed to be on, except the bride and bridesmaids, since their dressing room was on that side.
I could still hear pretty much everything that was happening, and saw way more than I should have. As guests arrived, they were directed around the outside, as per the request. The mother of the bride freaks out because OF COURSE they didn’t want HER side of the family to have to go that way. They need to be allowed to walk through the active dining room and around the other side where the golf course is.
At this point, the groom and groomsmen are getting positively sloshed in the men’s locker room, which our members are still using as well. Bridesmaids have moved out of the ladies’ locker room and are rampaging through the members’ bar. And by that I mean that we caught them multiple times pouring drinks behind the bar while the bartenders were getting their bar ready in the ballroom.
They had the same move every time of, “Oh, gosh, how did this bottle get in my hand and why is it suddenly half empty? Haha, silly me!” The ceremony goes well enough, considering basically everyone standing up front could barely stand. You may be asking how we let it get to that point. Well, they had snuck in a lot of drinks. I mean, a lot…
Highlights of the reception: The bride is cursing. A lot. I don’t think one sentence came out of her mouth without a variant of a swear word. During hors d’oeuvres, the maid of honor comes out of the locker room and informs me that it “needs attention.” You know, the room where only they had been for the last three hours because they had scared off all the members already.
It shouldn’t have been my job, but the attendant had gone home early due to an emergency, so I figured I would take a look. I was horrified at what I saw. I came right back out to get every manager I could find. I even cleared the coast so our chef could come look after he saw my reaction. It was, quite simply, disgusting.
The small wastebasket was overflowing because they had put a bunch of stuff on top of the nice big covered one and then forgot about it. Part of the overflow was a used tampon. There are separate baskets in the stalls for those. Dirty panties, about 10 empty champagne bottles, everything a normal person would put aside or throw away just sat wherever it had fallen.
I removed the trash (with gloves on) and didn’t touch one thing that was personal. I should have thrown out a lot more. About 1.5 hours in, the bride asks the bartender what Black people drink, so she can get something to give to the band. When she is told we don’t serve the band drinks due to liability, she flips out. More cursing.
How dare we not do exactly what she wants? Do we know how much she is paying for this? Not nearly as much as a lot of our members pay for theirs, I can tell you. Her new husband manages to somewhat calm her down eventually. By this point, all of the guests are so loud and obnoxious and not staying on their end of things that we call in extra security just to stand at all access points and wrangle them.
Remember all those “hidden” drinks? About two hours into the reception, the security guard nearest to the men’s restroom hears an awful noise from inside. Goes to investigate and finds a broken urinal and an empty handle of Jack Daniels. Time for cake! This can’t go wrong can it? Oh, it does go wrong. Wifey smears cake on the lower half of Hubby’s face.
Haha! So cute! Hubby puts tiny dollop of icing on end of Wifey’s nose. “OH MY GAWD!! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT?! YOU’RE RUINING EVERYTHING!!” (Paraphrased. It went on waaay longer than that). She proceeds to go literally running through the entire clubhouse and most of the surrounding grounds screaming at the top of her lungs.
As it was a nice night, many of our members were enjoying the patio off the dining room. One member in particular had been listening to the hubbub, and asked me the names of the couple. I had to laugh when I remembered that he’s a prominent divorce lawyer. I, jokingly, asked if he wanted me to pass out his card. He, very seriously, said yes.
The party was shut down two hours early. Officers were informed of potential drunk drivers leaving the property. The bridal party were staying in rental houses on club grounds, so our security escorted them back. You’d think that would be the end. But, alas, no. I did not witness the next day’s meeting, but I gather it involved a lot of apologies from the groom, and a lot more angry words for everyone from the bride.
Plus debates about the bar bill from dear old dad, because they could not possibly have had three kegs in that short of a time. He was right, sorry for the mistake, we should have charged for the fourth tapped keg. About a week later, we were informed of an investigation claiming that one of our staff had taken the bride’s laptop.
For maybe two weeks, we were randomly called by the local authorities with updates on the case. Then she found it in the trunk of her car, where it had been the entire time, because they used a club-owned laptop to play their slideshow. Which she had tried to walk out with. I think that’s the whole story. I probably blocked some stuff out. Except there’s one last twist.
We think the original coordinator did this to us on purpose. She didn’t leave under the best terms, and confirming the booking was one of the last things she did. She must have known it would go like this.
34. Crossfaded Groom
It was my boyfriend’s sister’s wedding. The groom got really inebriated before the vows and then smoked a ton of green stuff after the vows. He was super crossfaded and began to make a complete fool of himself. When we went up to congratulate them after, she refused to be near him or take pictures with him. It was super awkward.
So, after the speeches, everyone basically left because the mood was so bad. The family was still around and they opened gifts. Someone had given them a nice bottle of champagne and the groom tried to open it, but dropped it and it shattered. The bride stormed off screaming. The groom got upset and started cussing out the air.
They still went to their honeymoon together in Florida, and she got pregnant almost immediately. Maybe seven months into her pregnancy, she kicked him out because he slept with her roommate. They got divorced when their kid was six months old. But it’s for the best, the dude is a real jerk and wasted a lot of their money by being selfish on their day.
35. The Family That Lies Together Stays Together
My sister and her husband. They met each other our junior year of high school, and she moved in with him halfway through our senior year. I never liked him and did not hide that fact. I especially didn’t like him after he hit on me while they were dating. Didn’t hide that fact either, but my sister brushed me off. Before he popped the question, she found out he’d been texting other girls.
He promised he’d change. The wedding was a train wreck, honestly. It was a small affair in our family back yard, with our aunt officiating. That same aunt started crying midway through the ceremony. My stepmother read a poem about them she wrote halfway through the ceremony—she always wants to be the center of attention.
The groom’s drunken father, who had been barred from the wedding, came stumbling in at some point during the vows to search for alcohol, and I saw the groom grab one of the bridesmaids’ bottoms. I didn’t point that out to my deliriously happy stepsister. I should have. A year later it turned out the groom had been sending racy messages and pictures to my stepmom.
My sister somehow forgave both of them. She has low self-esteem. They got caught again a year after that. At that point, my dad had divorced my stepmother, so I have been distant from this whole shebang. But my sister—who I do still talk to—finally divorced that jerk. Divorce for everyone! Let’s pull an Oprah.
36. This Renaissance Fair Was More Renaissance Awful
This story is about my own wedding. First, there was the dress. The wedding was a Renaissance Fair style wedding outside at a large gazebo and the maid of honor had promised to purchase a stylized dress for my bride that they had agreed on. Three days before the wedding she called to tell us she had no money to get the dress and had been too embarrassed to admit it.
So we literally hand-sewed one together in 24 hours. It actually turned out pretty nice for what we had. Next, there was the cake. My mother-in-law was supposed to pick up the cake in Austin and drive an hour south for the wedding. She left her house 30 minutes before the wedding to pick it up. When she finally showed up, an hour late, the cake was destroyed.
She’d put it in the back seat and drove like a maniac all the way down, just slamming it against the box with every turn. Then, there was the fight. During the one-hour delay—while we waited for the cake—there was almost a fistfight between two groomsmen because…well, a bunch of tempers flared when the maid of honor showed up wearing the same dress she said she was unable to afford for my bride. Clearly, it was an attempt to upstage the bride.
Next came the speeches and things still weren’t getting better. The same maid of honor—the one in the bride’s dress—made a speech and she started it off with this: “When we all met, I didn’t like the groom at all. However I found that he grows on you…like a fungus.” This was about me and after everything else that had happened, I didn’t think it was funny.
Since all of these issues were on her side of friendships or families, I was told to suck it up and we’d discuss it later. I sort of assumed that a lot of these “friends” would sort of get out of our life once we were married, but it was quite the opposite. In fact, two years later when I accepted my first well-paying job out of college, it became an issue that it was an hour and a half out of Austin…so she decided to just stay in Austin to be with these same friends.
I mailed her the divorce papers and since she couldn’t be bothered to even show up to the hearing. I never saw her again.
37. You Make Me Sick
I don’t work in the wedding industry but I have a depressing wedding story. I have a friend who I grew up with. She was always gorgeous and incredibly popular with guys and I always thought she was a great person. As I got older, I came to realize she was actually extremely toxic in relationships. Nevertheless, she had been seeing a new guy for two months when one day, I received a wedding invitation in the mail.
Knowing her history with guys, I braced myself for the worst at this wedding. But even I could not have seen this coming. I turned up to the wedding, and it’s a gorgeous little backyard-type wedding. It’s spring and everything looks perfect. I greeted her family and it was like I had turned up to a funeral. They were all extremely solemn and when I asked about the groom, her mother rolled her eyes and said, “This is a mistake.”
The wedding commenced and the bride walked down the aisle. Her face was grey. She looked like she would rather be anywhere else. The couple managed to exchange vows even while the bride did everything in her power not to touch her husband-to-be. She stood a solid meter away from him at their backyard altar. She actually cringed and looked away when the groom choked up talking about how much he loved her.
When the priest finally said that it was time to kiss the bride, my friend did the unimaginable. She took a slow step forward and presented her cheek for the groom to kiss instead of her lips. No one cheered. There was just an awkward shuffling of feet and a few scattered claps. It was the worst wedding I’ve ever been to.
They lasted about three months.
38. A Colorful Situation
My mom gets her hair dyed blue every couple of months. When my sister was planning her wedding, I confirmed with her that my mom and I were going to the salon the week before her wedding and that my mom was going to be dying her hair. My sister was fine with it because my little sister, the flower girl, was also going to have blue hair. They would match!
Well, apparently the groom had a hissy fit to end all hissy fits about my mom’s blue hair. All of a sudden, it wasn’t okay for my mom to walk my sister down the aisle; instead, some random man that my sister had only known for a little while got to do it. The groom even called my mom names in the Church right before the rehearsal!
I started to yell at him, but the pastor intervened. Then the groom threatened to leave my sister at the altar because my mom had blue hair and would ruin the wedding pictures. Nobody in my family liked him before that, and he certainly didn’t win any points that day.
Fact: The Bride Takes The Cake
What’s better than one wedding cake? Two wedding cakes. And that’s how it used to be. The wedding cake used to include both a “bride cake” and a “black cake,” giving the groom a slice of the spotlight. Of course, this tradition was eventually phased out, and today, the bride cake reigns supreme.
39. Brokeback Wedding?
The bride and groom did the first dance then spent the rest of their reception completely apart from each other getting inebriated with their own separate friend-groups. The only other dancing all night was the bride dancing with her high school friends, the father-daughter dance and the mother-son dance, during which the groom was crying.
The best man’s speech didn’t mention the bride at all and basically boiled down to “Groom, you’re married now, but our bond is older and stronger, all of our hunting and fishing trips together are the best thing in our lives, can’t wait for more.” Such a sad, desperate atmosphere. They made it a little over one year.
40. Psychic Photographer
I’m a wedding photographer and I’ve come up with a few signs that tell me that a marriage is not going to last. They are actually pretty accurate. Here’s the first one: When a very young couple says things like their partner is “perfect” and claim that they never fight. This is a good sign that the marriage won’t last.
Another one that I’ve noticed is, believe it or not, name calling. At one wedding, I particularly cringed when the groom called the bride a “dumb hussy.” Later she told me that: “It’s because we so get each other and are so comfortable with each other that he can call me ‘dumb hussy’ as a nickname.” Sadly, this couple didn’t even last the year.
There was another one that really made me cringe. The wedding was all about the groom promoting his band. He even sang his bride a song that was literally just him showing off his vocal range with some classic piece. She stood up and joined him on stage halfway through, and he looked annoyed that he had to share the limelight.
They lasted about two years—he was sleeping with the other vocalist in the band.
41. Don’t Judge A Cake By Its Cover
I’m a baker here. I wasn’t present for the freakout, but it was my fault so…A few months back, I had a bride who wanted a navy to white ombre cake made with white sponge. Now, dark, rich colors like that in white cake SUCK. They always taste terrible because they have so much gel coloring in them to get them just the right color.
However, you can do it OK if they’re willing to have the dark layers be chocolate. Navy is especially easy, thanks to blue velvet. I tell her this when we’re planning. “But I want white cake!” She says. I tell her I’ll do all but the last few in white sponge. She agrees, and I make the darn thing and drop it off. I come back to pick up the staging stuff the next day, and make an awful discovery.
I find my whole freaking cake sitting there. Apparently, when they cut into the thing and fed it to each other, she freaked out over it being chocolate, and refused to let any of the cake be served. Apparently, she forgot that she had agreed to have the bottom tier have two layers of blue velvet, so she threw a massive temper tantrum over “the cake being wrong.”
Apparently, she kept talking about how I ruined her wedding, then locked herself in the bridal suite. If she wouldn’t have been a little psychopath and let the staff cut the cake like they should have, she would’ve seen that 90% of the cake was white sponge like she wanted.
42. Honeymoon For Three?
This was my sister’s best friend and it was a bachelorette party moment. The bride had been having an affair and everyone knew it. The groom’s friends tried to tell him, but she convinced him they were making it up. I mean, at that point it was just sad. She actually had the balls to force her fiancé to apologize to the guy she was sleeping with for the accusations.
The night of the bachelorette party, she actually took all her bridesmaids back to the other guy’s house and spent the night with him. He also came to their wedding. It was so awkward. Everyone knew and everyone was talking. The groom was told, but chose to overlook it. After the wedding the bride insisted the other guy come on a group vacation with her and her husband and included him in all their social functions.
Now, if they’re non-monogamous, whatever, go crazy! But her husband was an absolute wreck about it for years and she just kept gaslighting him. No one could convince him to leave her. She told my sister that the affair guy insisted he would never marry her and didn’t want kids so she was using her fiancé to get them. They ended up divorcing two years later after their second child was born.
She immediately moved in with the affair guy, and they did end up getting married. The bride and the affair guy are still married and the second child is likely actually his. The groom ended up marrying a girl they went to high school with and seems content.
43. The Best Laid Plans
The bride’s father was 45 minutes late to walk his daughter down the aisle. While we were waiting, the air conditioning broke down in the venue. It was over 100 degrees outside and humid like I’d never felt before. Plus, the place was overcrowded. You could barely move without bumping into someone else and in the heat, that was extra miserable.
I guess the air conditioning problem had also affected the refrigeration or something because most of the food was spoiled. The only food on the buffet was salad, spaghetti, and rolls. Not enough to feed even half the guests. Most people left after the first dance, and two of the bride’s aunts fainted. The bride and the wedding planner were crying.
44. A Dark Turn
I was studying photography and used to act as an assistant to a well-known wedding photographer. One day, we went to a couple’s wedding. He shot digital and I shot black and white film. We spent all day with the couple from 9 am through until 2 am the next morning when we left. I could see how genuinely in love they were.
It was only a day, but I got to know them quite well and I really liked them both. The next morning, I got a call from the photographer and his voice was shaky. He hit me with the most gut-wrenching news—he explained that the groom had been killed that night after the reception party. Three guys had broken into their bungalow to steal their wedding gifts. The groom got out of bed to stop them and they executed him in front of the bride. I was in shock for about two weeks.
The next weekend, the photographer and I went to the bride’s house to present her with the photos. We’d worked together to get the job massively accelerated so she had the photos of her husband. We did it at our own expense and didn’t charge her a penny for the day or all the prints and album. It was sort of the least we could do.
Because my photos didn’t matter as much, I’d been able to simply capture those natural moments between them, rather than the staged wedding photos. So they had the normal album pictures but also about 150 snaps of just them being a couple. She was in tears from the moment we arrived until we left a few hours later. She was a shadow of the woman I’d met only a week earlier. That still haunts me.
45. She Married Magic Mike
I once showed up to the wedding of a friend of my husband’s who I only knew casually. When we arrived at the church the groom was inebriated in the parking lot—and getting drunker by the minute. I thought it was kinda nuts, since it was a full-on Catholic ceremony which involved lots of kneeling and standing. I honestly have no idea how he made it through, but he did.
At the reception, he proceeded to continue the drinking party, while his new wife cried in the washroom. When it was time for the first dance he kind of stumbled around the dance floor despite a year of dance lessons. When it was time for him to take his new wife’s garter off and throw it to the bachelors—he instead, did a strip tease type dance and got himself down to his underwear—in front of many elderly family members.
Needless to say, people were shocked. I gave this marriage a year or two tops. They, however, are still married 25 plus years later.
46. For The Birds
A friend of my girlfriend was getting married. The wedding was quite normal—they got married in the local church, then there was a party in a nice restaurant. The photographer asked the bride and her bridesmaids (my girlfriend was one of them) to go outside for some photos. Some minutes later, one of the bridesmaids came back asking for help. The most unexpected thing had happened.
Apparently, there were some swans that attacked the photographer and the majority of the people around him were not doing anything other than laughing. In their defense, it was hard not to—the guy who was running around and screaming.
47. Vomit Fountain
I used to work at a museum. In summer, the museum doubled as a wedding venue. As part of the wedding package, the museum would stay open after hours for the guests only. So, my boring job was to just sit there and basically greet people. Well, after watching quite a few weddings, I finally saw one that really took the cake.
Almost everyone at this wedding was plastered. People were jumping into the fountain, and someone even vomited in said fountain. At one point, the bride was crying. It turns out the groom and one of his groomsmen were screwing upstairs in one of the bathrooms. A fight ensued between the groom and the father of the bride.
It got so ugly that someone had to call the cops. Entertaining for me, but I felt so bad for the bride.
Fact: Gaudy Or Gorgeous
Wedding dress prices are absolutely ridiculous, but they’re nothing compared to the most expensive wedding dress on record. In 2006, Renee Strauss and Martin Katx designed a $12 million wedding dress and it’s certainly…something. Dripping in over 150 carats of diamonds, this flashy gown is an opulent sight to behold.
48. Take A Picture, It’ll Last Longer
As a wedding photographer, I’ve seen my fair share of crazies over the years. The worst situation I ever had was with a couple who started arguing right after the vows. Typically, you shoot the bridal parties in the morning, and if you’re lucky enough, the men will get dressed on time and let you take a few snaps of them while they’re all suited and booted.
On this particular day, the men were already hitting the sauce pretty hard and what happened next was truly triggering—they ended up at the church stinking of booze. I could tell the bride was angry as I was shooting the ceremony—she wouldn’t look at her husband-to-be throughout the entire service. The groom, in all fairness, kept himself pretty well composed but was still stinking.
The poor guy was nervous. After the ceremony, before the bridal party gathered at the prearranged shooting location, the bride and groom had about 30 minutes of alone time in the limo to conduct a full-blown argument. When they pulled up to the location, I got them to roll the window down for a champagne toast through the window shot, and all I was getting were smiles through gritted teeth.
It was awful. I tried my best to ease the mood, but this bride was in no mood for any wisecracks or enjoyment. The moral of the story is, don’t argue on your wedding day or you’ll end up looking back at angry photos.
49. Marriage Smashed To Bits
I was living in Germany and kindly included as a last-minute plus-one to the wedding of a family friend. At the rehearsal dinner (or the German equivalent, the Polterabend) it’s a tradition that the guests smash ceramic and porcelain items on the ground. My boyfriend explained that it’s a tradition—reminding the couple that life is sometimes difficult and you have to work together to clean it up.
The bride kind of half-heartedly motioned to the groom to sweep it up. He did a little bit, then just moved on to talk to his friends, leaving most of the shards strewn around the yard. So I guess the meaning of the tradition was kind of lost on both of them. Additionally, I don’t think I saw the couple talk to each other once over the next three days of celebrations.
It was a gorgeous wedding, and I’m so grateful that I was invited—a really good way to begin living in a new country—but it wasn’t surprising to hear that they’d divorced a few years later.
50. Maid Of Dishonor
All of my interesting stories came from my time as an event server. Honestly, I felt like a lot of the weddings I saw at that event hall represented the culmination of two people’s most expensive mistakes of their lives. Coworkers and I routinely placed bets on which ones would last the year. Our manager even told us about one time when they called a couple to clear up some minor details regarding the wedding a few months prior, only to find that couple was no longer married.
I have to say, though, that the best/worst maid-of-honor speech I have ever heard was the one where the maid-of-honor had formerly dated the groom. And she said this. In the speech. And she also mentioned that it hadn’t worked out between them for a laundry list of reasons, which unfortunately for my nightly entertainment, she did not delve into.
AND then she threw in a few wink-wink-nudge-nudge comments about the groom’s performance in the bedroom. The bride looked furious the whole time this speech was happening and made a beeline for the bar as soon as it was socially acceptable. Can you blame her? The groom, meanwhile, is super awkwardly avoiding eye contact with the maid/his former lover, and the last thing I witnessed between the happy couple was a tense exchange interspersed with both of them chugging their drinks.
Yeah, I wouldn’t place any bets on that one.
51. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
My husband was the best man at a wedding. The bride was a nightmare. Not just during the wedding, but in general everyday life. All of the friends hated her, and she had no friends of her own. We knew it was doomed when, during the portraits, the bride was making everyone miserable as can be. The groom said (exact words): “I’ll just send her to therapy. And, if that doesn’t work, we can just get divorced.”
52. Worst Wedding Ever
I’m a wedding photographer. I’ve been right in predicting divorces a few times, for sure. This one groom in particular was so full of himself, but did that “Whatever you want, my Queen,” thing because he wants everyone to see him as this great guy, but really, he’s a self-absorbed jerk. He was a “chef” and loved telling people that. It was a quick engagement and marriage, and I got the feeling maybe too quick.
The wedding and reception were both at his parents’ place. His mom had a lot of input, as did his sister. Between those two, they shut the bride out of her own wedding whenever she tried to talk. On the day of the wedding itself, I arrived to shoot the bride and bridesmaids getting ready but she was alone with the hair and makeup person.
I initially thought that the makeup person was a friend, but she wasn’t. Her bridesmaids were nowhere in sight. Two hours went by and still no sight of them. The bride tried calling but couldn’t get a hold of them. The makeup finished with still no sign of the bridesmaids, so I helped the bride put her veil on and did up her shoes.
I was feeling so bad for her. This was supposed to be her big day and there I was, basically a stranger, putting on her veil on and telling her that she looked beautiful. Finally, the bridesmaids showed up. The maid of honor was the groom’s sister. When the bride questioned them, the sister said that had gone out for breakfast.
The bride innocently asked why they hadn’t told her and the sister started getting defensive, accusing the bride of being a “bridezilla.” Then it came out that this maid of honor—or dishonor—had invited the groom and all of the groomsmen for breakfast too. She was the only one in the whole wedding party that hadn’t been there.
The kicker? None of the bridesmaids were ready—they hadn’t dressed, done their hair or makeup. The wedding was supposed to start in 30 minutes. The wedding ceremony went well enough, but the rest of the evening was a mess. We were supposed to go to a nearby beach and trail for photos. This never happened, because the groom was literally talking to every person in attendance in the longest receiving line situation I had ever seen.
The sun was about to set and I told the couple that I literally had no photos of them alone together and we needed to get the light. The groom brushed me off, “Yeah, yeah after the speeches.” That would have been alright, but his speech ran on for 30 minutes. By that time, the sun had set. Finally, the bride just looked at me, defeated, and said, “You can just go home now.”
Not long after, I delivered the images that I had managed to capture from that debacle of a wedding. The groom refused to pay the remainder of my money. I got a million excuses. After a month, I finally texted him and said I was going through small claims. The next day, he sent an electronic payment, with an angry message about hounding him and giving me a bad review.
The joke was on him though. I saw the bride six months later at a restaurant, and before I could ask, she told me she left him. I found out from a friend that the groom was no longer a “chef”—three separate restaurants had fired him.
53. Stage Fright
It was a big wedding with around 500 people. It was all the wife’s doing—she wanted a huge $70,000 wedding. I was a groomsman. Pre-wedding, the groom was nervous as heck. There was a lot of pressure for the day to be perfect, and it was her dream wedding, yadda yadda. At some point, a bottle was pulled out. It went from a few “calm the nerves” shots to finishing the whole bottle.
We gave him water, got him in the shower, and then redressed him. Midway through her vows, he puked all down the front of her dress. It was horrible, but it was great to watch. They’re going on eight years strong.
54. Wedding Night Horror
So at this wedding, apparently the bride and groom were both virgins and were waiting for marriage, in accordance with their culture. Apparently, the groom spent all that time on the internet watching adult films. This, unfortunately, led him to having wild and unreal expectations for his wedding night. He thought it was going to be so kinky.
The shy, religious bride, on the other hand, expected that their wedding night would be a sacred and beautiful coming together of souls, but the groom did not read the memo. He apparently slapped her around, tried to use the backdoor (if you catch my drift) and asked if he could give her a golden shower—all on their wedding night.
The bride was, obviously, absolutely horrified and kept making excuses not to be intimate with him again. He said he had a wonderful time, and kept asking when they could have round two.
56. This One Takes The Cake
I once attended a classmate’s wedding. They were both young, maybe about 22 or 23 years old. There is apparently a “caking” tradition in some parts of the country where, when they cut the wedding cake, the couple feeds each other a little bit of it and smears some onto each other’s faces as a joke. The bride had absolutely made it 1000% clear to the groom that she did NOT want to be caked.
He did it anyway. And not just a small smear. He full-on smushed the entire slice into her face. She was stunned initially, then got up, with her face full of cake, and yelled “YOU JERK! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!” She then ran as fast as she could to a back area near the reception. The groom tried to follow her, but the bridesmaids and the mother of the bride stopped him.
So, the groom ended up sitting awkwardly at the head table by himself while half the wedding party rushed off with the bride. She stayed back there for like an hour. They eventually did let him go back there to check on her. We could hear her crying and them arguing. The rest of the reception came to a screeching halt until one of the bride’s aunts emerged and directed the servers to clear the tables and put on some music.
They got divorced two years later.
57. Caked Mashed, Bride Dashed
I had a buddy—this was almost 30 years ago, btw—who’s girlfriend told him that if he mashed the cake in her face, it was O-V-E-R. She told him at least 10 times in my presence. The day of the wedding arrived and his “buddies” had gotten to him by making the whip noise and saying he had to show her “who wore the pants.”
She fed him his piece—very politely. He mashed her face, she walked out and had the marriage annulled. Can I just say: good for her!
Fact: The Most Depressing Wedding Fact Around
Having a living, breathing spouse is fine and all, but imagine being able to wed a dead person. Well, if you live in France, then you’re in luck…kind of. Over there, as long as you can prove that you intended to marry the deceased, you can still tie the knot.
58. Musical Chairs
I was setting up for a wedding of 200 guests. It was my job to put white chair covers on all the chairs and tie pink sashes around each one. A tedious and lengthy process. I was just about finished when my boss came in with the bride to check out the room. The bride took one look at the set-up and said, “What? I asked for black chair covers!”
I looked at her like, are you freaking kidding me? But my boss was all, “Oh I am so, so sorry, that is our mistake—we will get that fixed for you right away, don’t you worry!” And guess who then has to untie every perfectly tied bow, take off every perfectly aligned chair cover, and replace them with black ones? Me.
I managed to just finish in time for the wedding to start. I then went back to my office and check the paperwork for her wedding. We had these breakdown sheets that basically list what is required for each wedding, and these went back and forth between the bride and the planner many times before everything was settled and agreed upon.
I looked through every single draft of this witch’s paperwork and NOT ONCE were black chair covers mentioned. Only white, in every draft. I checked my emails too to see if she had mentioned it there, nope. Nowhere in any of our records had she asked for black chair covers…yet she still complained to my boss that our screw-up with the chair covers had caused her so much stress she could barely enjoy the day.
59. Oedipus Wrecks This Wedding
We noticed during the wedding that the soon to be mother-in-law of the bride was insufferable. Every chance she could she would make it about her and her son, the groom. God forbid she let her new daughter-in-law have the spotlight. The mother-in-law had the photographer follow her around for most of the wedding. Most pictures have her in them.
She was always near or around her son, but like always touching him too. It was weird. We joked that all three of them are going on honeymoon together. She gave an hour-long toast about how she is still the most important person in her son’s life. I think she said something like, “You may be his wife, but he’ll always be mommy’s little boy.” She always went into way too much detail about how she breastfed and changed his diapers.
She danced with her son more than the bride. And I’m not talking 60/40. Like 90% of the time it was mother and son dancing. At one point she was even bumping and grinding on him. So at no point did my girlfriend and I think the bride was going to put up with this crazy mother-in-law for more than a couple years. Sure enough, she got pregnant soon after the wedding.
A couple of months after the baby was born, she filed for divorce.
60. Tonight’s Not Gonna Be A Good Night
I was a banquet manager at a hotel for years, and have worked hundreds of weddings. The worst one by far was the time the bride was at least twenty years younger than the groom. It was almost definitely an arranged marriage. Only about twenty people were invited to the reception, and the only decoration was a lousy quality massive blown-up picture of the bride and groom in the shape of a heart.
When the bride and groom walked into the room, someone put the Black Eyed Peas’ “Tonight’s Going to be a Good Night” on over a CD player. Then the song played again, and again, and again for three hours straight. The only time it stopped was when the CD ended because apparently, no one had learned how to use the repeat feature.
So, they had just burned a CD with the same song on it 20 times in a row. When it did stop though, someone just got up and restarted it. Also, there was no drinking at this event. Disaster.
61. Marital Discord
A month before the wedding, the couple made an appointment with me—the church music director/organist—to plan music for the ceremony. Both made suggestions on music he or she would like. But no matter how many pieces were considered and demonstrated, they couldn’t agree on anything, and would get into heated arguments over processionals, recessionals, vocal solos, and prelude music—even though they were all good possibilities.
The bride and groom simply seemed indifferent to one another’s wishes and needs. In the end, based on what I heard each of them most wanting, I offered compromises in an effort to bring about peace—selections which they finally agreed to. They were engaged, but showed no signs of being in love.
62. Bride On The Side
I was the maid of honor, they seemed like the perfect couple, together for nearly 10 years and had this big, expensive, beautiful wedding. The bride would have been happy with a small event but told me the groom had a big family and had insisted. Alarm bells hit soon after. I sat with her parents in the front row and realized the groom to bride ratio was so massively off.
The groom had three best men, as well as ushers and whatnot. His sister and one best man read something during the ceremony and then all three best men made long speeches about him at dinner. It was all about him. The photographer was even his friend’s mom, so she kept whisking away the boys for these “hilarious” lads’ shoots.
The bride was ignored most of the day and in the evening the groom got smashed, spilled a drink over her wedding gown and danced with his friends. It felt more like a big birthday party than a joint event. I’d never seen that side of him, but I felt so sorry for my friend, it was like she was just there to be a prop to his plans and look good.
Three months after the wedding, he began being emotionally abusive. A month after that he admitted he’d been having an affair for years, then left. If I hadn’t seen the way he behaved at the wedding, I never would have guessed he had that in him.
63. Runaway Bride
My mother was a church organist and she attended many weddings. I suppose the story that stands out the most was one where the bride said she couldn’t marry the guy because she didn’t love him. She then ran out of the church in full Runaway Bride fashion. It was a smallish town, so people found out later that she had met somebody new and fallen hopelessly in love with him.
64. The Things These Eyes Have Seen
The bride and groom got way in their cups, then eventually started to argue with each other. They were crying, yelling, and screaming, running out into the courtyard and causing a scene. The best man went to check on them and found them rolling on the ground, but not in a sexy way. The best man threw the bride out of the way, slammed the groom’s head into the sidewalk, and pinned him down. The bride then started kicking the groom in the face.
The best man pushed her away while sitting on top of the groom, and the bride finally stormed off with a bridesmaid. Then, the best man let the groom up, who began kicking trees and breaking the posts off the gazebo. That’s when he revealed what had been building up inside of him for months: “I’m going to kill myself!” The best man told the bridesmaid to go grab an officer from inside for assistance.
The officer came out and tried to help get the groom to his room since the wedding was at a fancy hotel. The groom proceeded to be disrespectful with the officer and ended up getting detained. The father of the groom then disowned him but also yelled at the bride. The best man and his date ended up taking care of the bride and groom’s child. At least they got to stay in their honeymoon suite for the night.
Source: I was the best man.
65. Pepper Spray Instead of Confetti
Well here it goes. My cousin got married probably a decade ago and during the wedding it came out that the groom was not the best to my cousin while dating. The bride’s brother did not take this well and during the after party a shouting match became a brawl between the two families. Next thing you know officers show up and literally pepper spray everyone—including my grandma, kids, and anyone near the area.
I don’t remember if anyone got taken away but the story got on CBS for the international news. They did not last long to say the least.
66. Field Trip
My dad has vintage and veteran cars, and when I was younger, he used to do some weddings with them. I loved clearing out the confetti from the car when he’d get home. One week, he arrived back and there was no confetti in the car…The story was wild. Apparently, on the way to the church, the bride changed her mind, and instead of taking her and her father to church, they asked if he could drop them at the local zoo as it was her favorite place.
So he did and he left them there in full wedding attire. They were going to get a taxi home when they were done. It was in the days before mobile phones too, so I’m guessing people were waiting at the church for quite a while. Also, I recently called my dad to ask him if he remembered this and he seems to think that she was only getting married because she was pregnant and thought she had to. It was the early ’80s, after all.
Fact: The Earliest Engagement
These days, most millennials are waiting until their thirties to tie the knot, but throughout history, finding a wife was often a wild free-for-all. One of history’s earliest engagements saw the daughter of Henry VIII, Princess Mary, engaged to the Duke of Brittany when she was only two years old. Yikes.
67. Daddy’s Little Girl
I worked as a banquet server at a ritzy, riverfront hotel. People come from all over to have expensive overpriced weddings. So needless to say, many of our brides were Bridezillas to some extreme. Our summer season is very expensive. Usually, our local brides only get married there in the off-season to save some of their cash.
One local bride that I will forever remember, however, went absolutely crazy. Before the wedding even started, one groomsman left because he couldn’t stand her demands. We were all in the ballroom setting up as we normally do. At this particular wedding, the bride had a wedding planner who set the centerpieces, which were a pretty general country theme.
The bride storms in, literally has a temper tantrum that they are not right because the candle was supposed to be on the left and not the right. We fix it no problem even though it was not us but her wedding planner who set them. Now, you’d think that would be all…but no. One of her bridesmaids lost her bouquet right before the ceremony.
Instead of troubleshooting, she completely berates and humiliates her bridesmaid. Then starts stomping her feet and saying, “Dadddddyyyyy” like a two-year-old. This was over and over again. To her, every little detail was wrong in some way, shape, or form. Needless to say, I was so glad I wasn’t responsible for the bride and groom’s table that day.
68. Didn’t Party Hearty At The Bachelor Party
I was invited to a high school friend’s wedding. The night before the wedding she asked me to join her future husband’s bachelor party. He had no friends and it was only he, his brother, his father, and I. They were not thrilled with my presence. They wanted to go to a peeler bar, but thought I would rat them out. We went to a bar, but I could tell I was the killjoy, so I went back to the hotel and they went to the peeler bar anyway.
My friend called me after I got back to the hotel. She asked me why I didn’t go to the peeler bar and I told her that it wasn’t my thing. She asked if we could hang out and catch up. I said “sure” and she came to my room only wearing a robe. It was obvious there was nothing on under it. It seemed like she was coming on to me, which seemed very sad.
We watched a movie and she fell asleep. At some point in the night, she left. The next morning at the wedding I was sitting next to a mutual friend. This friend was encouraging me to object and looked disappointed when I didn’t do it. They lasted five years, but lived together less than two.
69. Hakuna Matata
The groom had his car stolen on the morning of the wedding and spent the whole day swearing and punching inanimate objects because, as we all heard a thousand times that day, not only was the car “the most important thing in his life,” it also wasn’t insured. The wedding was at a Boy Scout hall, for no apparent reason…maybe irony…but the reception was in the cafeteria at one of those “Underwater World” places.
There was a glass tunnel that you could walk through to see fish swimming all around you, but no one was allowed to go see the fish because, get this: the whole day had a Lion King theme. Except for, you know, the venue. Then, towards the end of the night, the bride got into a physical fight with one of the bridesmaids because she caught her sleeping with a groomsman.
The bride then tearfully admonished the groomsman caught with his pants down for cheating on her (the bride). I have no idea how long the marriage lasted for, as I never saw or heard from them again.
70. The Tiger King Of Weddings
I used to work at a pretty lousy, privately-owned exotic animal facility—think like Joe Exotic but less substance misuse. People often booked kids’ birthday parties, etc. One time, we hosted a wedding reception. The theme was HOT PINK, so the clowns we normally hire were better dressed than them. The bride looked like she wanted to cry the entire time‚ and not happy tears.
I felt bad for her. I feel like the groom just wanted to book the cheapest venue with AC and they happened to like animals. If you like animals, you wouldn’t support where I worked.
71. Beauty Is Pain
The bride and groom decided to “get a few pictures in” right after the ceremony…except they disappeared for about five hours. We all waited at the venue for them, but since no one got any word from them, the buffet wasn’t set and the DJ didn’t play any music. After two hours, most guests decided to collect some cash. We talked the manager of the venue into serving the buffet and getting the DJ to play music.
So we basically started the party without the couple. When they finally got back, they were in shock—basically, all food was gone, people were sloshed, and everybody had forgotten that this was their wedding. So the wedding itself wasn’t ruined, but everything around it, well…at least the guests had a great time when we took things into our own hands.
For what it’s worth, they did actually take pictures during that time. The photographer did his best but to be honest, the couple wasn’t that good-looking and they thought he could simply work some voodoo magic on the spot to make them look good. He was angry, to say the least, and actually tried to talk them into going back to their party several times.
72. Honeymoon For One Please
A friend of mine was getting married and she was planning her honeymoon. She’d always dreamed of sitting on a beach on a Caribbean island and she wanted that for her honeymoon. The only problem was that her fiancé had a severe sun allergy. My friend went ahead and booked the honeymoon anyway, even though I thought it was a terrible idea.
About the groom’s sun allergy: it was really serious. He had red hair, really fair skin, and burned up within minutes. And I mean really bad sunburn, the kind you have to go to the hospital for. He always had to wear sunglasses, long-sleeved shirts, and a hat, even on cloudy days, so the vacation was definitely not for him.
When she went to tell her groom, I expected him to be livid. His reaction knocked me off my feet. He actually suggested that she go alone—on their honeymoon! These two married young and it didn’t occur to them that it would be strange if she went on the honeymoon and he stayed behind. He was a good guy and just wanted to see her happy, and she really wanted to go on this vacation, because she had never left the country.
They separated half a year after the wedding and my friend, the bride, told me that the marriage had been a way to prolong the relationship despite both of them knowing that it was already over some time before they got married. Kinda like a couple gets a baby to save a marriage. It really was just sad because they were a nice couple, but they stayed friends after separating.
And I can guarantee that she didn’t cheat on him while away, they were both really loyal.
73. Mistaken Identity
I got invited to the wedding by a friend and went because I was told that there was going to be a really good band and a high-level buffet at the reception. We showed up a bit early and things were still being set up. Someone needed some stuff from the grocery store, so I volunteered to go. A woman said she would go with me to show me where the grocery store was and to help get stuff, so I agreed.
On the ride to the grocery store, she started talking about the wedding and how going to weddings was always kind of sad for her. I asked if she had a bad divorce or something, and she straight up told me that she found weddings arousing, but never had any luck finding a man at one. Ok, red lights and warning buzzers should have been going off. I knew they should have.
They were at some level, probably, but I totally ignored them—huge mistake. When we got to the store, she asked me to pull around to the side and park behind a bunch of empty semi-trailers. I did, and she crawled across the seat of my truck and started kissing me. Things progressed and stuff happened. It took maybe five minutes total. It was the definition of a quickie.
Afterward, we shopped and got the stuff that was needed, and headed back to the church. When we got there and the stuff was taken to the kitchen, I found my friend. She asked why it had taken so long and I dodged the question. I’m not a good liar, so she got suspicious and I dodged that. Then she got mad and demanded that I tell her what happened. So I did. And she freaked. That’s when she told me the chilling truth.
She told me that the woman that I had gone to the store with was…the bride! She was not amused. I was not amused! The groom, when he walked up to me about five minutes later, was not AT ALL amused. He just punched me. I went down, and he walked away. Apparently, a few people knew what had happened, as I was getting the stink eye from a number of people as I picked myself up off the floor.
I asked my friend if we should leave and she agreed. I heard later that there was a three-hour delay and a lot of serious negotiating after I left, but that the wedding ultimately proceeded. The marriage lasted eight months, which was a good six months longer than anyone I talked to about it had given it.
74. Christian Teens Make Huge Mistake
While they were planning the wedding, the bride came to me and asked, “Is it normal to realize that getting married is a huge mistake but still go through with it? Do you think we can still be happy?” I tried to talk gently to her about everything and then she admitted that she and her groom had already done it and that if she didn’t marry him, nobody else would want “used goods.”
I tried to gently explain that her not being a virgin does NOT make her “used goods.” Her response was, “Well, you’re a gay Christian, so God isn’t happy with you either. But at least you married a man so you can hide it.” This poor girl was raised to believe the worst that Christianity can offer. She was 17 when she was getting married to her 18-year-old groom.
They got married anyway. The worst part is, they’ll probably stay married forever because they are VERY religious and God doesn’t allow for divorce. It was really hard to watch the bride cry as she walked down the aisle. Not happy tears either.
75. Friends With (Medical) Benefits
It was a friend’s wedding back in 2016. It turns out that they were getting married quickly because the bride, my friend, suddenly needed medical benefits—which he had through his job. This was not a great reason to get married and it didn’t bode well for the upcoming marriage. That said, there was no excuse for the terrible behavior we saw at the wedding.
I was a bridesmaid and really hadn’t met the groom much prior. All I can tell you is that he was nice, but quiet. The day before the wedding the bride asked me to help babysit one of the groomsmen because he was a nightmare. She didn’t just ask me. She also asked another bridesmaid, the DJ, and others to help watch the nightmare groomsman.
Our job, she instructed us, was to cut this groomsman off from booze before the ceremony, not to allow him to make a speech, to keep him from hitting on girls, the works. This guy was an alcoholic jerkbag that had managed to have six kids and two DUIs. Somehow he was the absolute best friend of the shy and quiet groom.
The day of the wedding, the best maniac breaks into the bar, gets hammered, and has to be dragged down the aisle. He gets the florist smashed, while they pretty much do “it” on the dancefloor. He makes, what I can only assume to be, a speech during the father/daughter dance. The bride was super angry and stressed, as well trying to get things to not be a total mess.
The groom blocked us from keeping the groomsman in check, and wanted us to just let it go while he did everything the bride asked him not to do. It was like a weird purposeful or intentional self-sabotage thing. The groomsman also broke into the groom’s private stash of homemade mead he’d made special just for the wedding.
He also stripped his clothes, and ran through the parking lot, and hid in bushes at 11 pm. So the groomsman was a write-off, but then the groom took over being the wedding’s most deranged participant. After the wedding was finished, I got a text from the groom. He asked me if I wanted to have a threesome with him, and my friend—otherwise known as the bride.
It turns out that this was the bargaining chip for his medical benefits. If she wanted the benefits, she had to open up the relationship. The divorce was finalized a year and a half later.
Fact: Let Them Eat Cake
We all know that the British royals do not skimp on their wedding plans. But did you know that Queen Elizabeth II had 12 wedding cakes? Not only that, but her official cake was a downright monstrosity. It weighed in at a whopping 500 pounds and towered over her, standing nine feet tall.
76. Safe And Not-So Sound
This was around 2009 in Tenerife. On the second day of the wedding, the bride went swimming in the ocean. She swam out too far and was basically “lost at sea” for nine hours or so. She eventually found her way back but was in bad shape. Everyone was panicked the whole day and thought she drowned. By the time she got back, there was a twisted development.
Her husband found her phone and read a bunch of messages supposedly from her aunt, but it was clear from the content it wasn’t her aunt at all. She had been having an affair with the best man for years. They got an annulment shortly after. $60,000 down the drain. It was one of the most opulent weddings I’ve ever been to.
77. Reunited And It Feels No Good
My parents got divorced a long time ago, but always remained friends. One day, they surprised us—my siblings, me, and our spouses—and announced they were getting remarried: in Vegas, no less. We all thought it was weird, but decided to go anyway. I mean, it’s Vegas, right? It would be a great weekend regardless of the occasion.
Flash forward to two days into the weekend, and there has been no word of a wedding. All of us kids had a conversation: “What should we do? Should we ask about it?” This should have been our first clue that it wasn’t a good idea for them to get married. But lack of perspective made us oblivious to the obvious. So we pressured them.
“Hey! You told us you were going to get remarried, when are you going to do it?” Anyway, then we suddenly found ourselves in front of the justice of the peace. He was wise, and asked to speak privately to my parents, and I am sure asked them: “Why are you doing this, are you sure?” Well, I guess they gave him the correct answers, because he did it!
Long story short, they ended up divorcing AGAIN! And not long afterward.
78. Tie One On
I was hired to assist with makeup at a wedding. I was eight months pregnant and had to tie the mother’s sari. While I was tying it, the mother told me I was doing it wrong and wanted me to do it her way. I told her that she wouldn’t be able to walk if I tied it the way she was requesting. She started to get frustrated, so I just gave in.
For what it’s worth, this woman didn’t know how to tie a sari, since she apparently doesn’t wear them. Minutes later, she came out and started screaming at the wedding planner, complaining that I didn’t know how to tie a sari. She was in tears! The planner took her away, calmed her down, and tied her sari the way I did in the first place. But it wasn’t over.
I was left in the room with the bridesmaids and the bride. The bride turned to me and starts screaming, “You ruined my wedding day! How dare you make my mother cry. You are a horrible person and are ruining the most important day of my life.” I couldn’t help it…I started laughing and I couldn’t stop. It was so dramatic for no reason.
Nothing was ruined. It took 10 minutes to fix. Just as the wedding planner walked in, the bride started really tripping out and screaming at me, “Get out! Get out! I don’t want to see your face, you ruined everything.” Then she started to cry.
Honestly, I shouldn’t have done it but I laughed even harder and said, “You are in for a surprise if you think a poorly tied sari is the worst thing in the world.” I then turned to the planner and told her to pay me so I could go home and put my feet up. The wedding planner called me the next week to help with another wedding…I said no.
79. Ebony And Ivory—But No Harmony
This was my wife’s friend. She’s a very conservative, religious white girl who married a black man. Most of her redneck family didn’t approve of the marriage and didn’t show up. But that wasn’t the cringiest part. She planned the whole marriage around race. Like a vanilla cake for her, and a chocolate cake for him. The wedding colors were black and white, and even the meals were white meat for her side and dark meat for his.
It was extremely uncomfortable as a guest. They lasted two years.
80. Young And Dumb
I was invited to a wedding of a friend’s friend because she didn‘t have enough of her own people to get the reception as big as she wanted it to be. Also, the bride and groom were super young—she got pregnant three months after hooking up with him and were marrying for all the wrong reasons. When the party started, the whole atmosphere was forced and strained.
Everybody knew the whole thing was fake in a way, so I decided to spend my time outside instead. I was having a wonderful time…until I heard screaming inside. The bride then ran past us very Hollywood-style, all teary and dramatic. It turned out that the ice cake wasn‘t stored properly, so it melted and came out a little lopsided. The bride didn‘t come back, even though the cake was still really nice. The couple got divorced nine months later…
81. I Don’t Want You To
The wedding was mine. My bride had a taste for theatrics and wanted a choreographed dance number for the first dance. She wanted the whole wedding party involved, but there was no interest. I’d never danced (not even at a club), but was willing to take lessons with her with the understanding we would do something together so she could have her dream wedding.
It turns out I sucked at dancing, but with the help of some great instructors, I got through a few lessons of slow dancing. I can proudly say that I can now awkwardly shuffle around on a dance floor—but don’t expect anything crazy. For some reason, the dance school wouldn’t choreograph anything for us, so she promptly gave up.
When it came to choosing the song, she decided she wanted “I Want You To” by Weezer—my favorite band, and the song had just come out recently. However, it’s not a slow song to slow dance to. I suggested we choose something else, but she insisted we would just slow dance to it. I made her promise she wouldn’t change her mind.
So we’re on the dance floor, slow dancing to “I Want You Too” and I guess it was looking kind of awkward slow dancing to a fast song. So, sure enough, 30 seconds into the song she backs up and starts dancing a jig. I just stood there in disbelief fuming while she kept shouting and motioning for me to dance in front of all our guests.
To boot, we had set a budget, she exceeded it, then her parents decided to chip in 5K, and rather than use it to offset what we were over budget, she decided to spend more. In retrospect, that should have been a huge clue that she didn’t respect me at all. She cheated on me and ran off with some guy like a year later. She then got “remarried” before we were legally divorced.
Her parents never did hand over the 5K, because they’d put a provision on it that we had to go up north for a weekend and take some stupid Christian financial planning course their friend ran. My ex was also an atheist and didn’t want to do that, but knowingly spent the money we didn’t actually have.
82. Partners In Crime But Not In Life
My cousin and her husband had a pretty lavish wedding, one that seems like it should have been out of their price range. It was a huge red flag that everyone just ignored. Well, a couple of months go by and on Facebook, they are posting about the new Maserati they bought. My cousin is a college student, and her husband is in “sales.”
After that, they bought a brand-new Mercedes and a yacht. Well turns out they had been running a Ponzi scheme and had defrauded people out of more than a million dollars. After they got caught, they turned on each other. The husband got nine years in federal prison, and my cousin got two years. Oh, and she gave birth to their child in prison.
Both of them are disgusting human beings so I’d hoped for more time in the slammer.
83. Wedding Ala Jerry Springer
It was an Appalachian wedding in West Virginia. At the reception, there was a dude in the bathroom looking super depressed. He told literally anyone who asked that he was sad because the night before the wedding, the bride told him that was the last time they would be intimate. When enough people heard this guy’s story, a fight broke out.
People were super wasted by then, so it was a fight like on Jerry Springer where EVERYONE’S fighting, and Steve can’t even hope to break it up. The next morning everyone went to breakfast together at Bob Evans—because of course they did. The bride and groom were there and after a bit of awkward small talk, followed by silence, someone asked: “So, are you getting divorced? Or….?”
The couple said they decided to stay together, since she technically didn’t cheat on him. But later she proceeded to cheat on him in the most spectacular ways: she literally auctioned herself off in a “slave auction” a couple of years later.
84. Picture Imperfect
As someone who has done a fair amount of wedding photography, one particular Bridezilla stands out for me. She abhorred the engagement photos and insisted that I must have used a warped lens or something that made her look fat. She readily admitted that her fiancé, who was standing right next to her in the photos, looked fine and normal, but there absolutely had to be lens distortion or something else that made her look significantly heavier than she really was.
That was awesome. I waived the fee for the engagement shoot and scheduled another at no cost to see if I could placate her. I recommended colors for her to wear that would “compliment her skin tone” and scheduled the second shoot for the golden hour where the light would be most complimentary, since she had insisted on the first shoot being at noon.
Two days after the second shoot, I delivered the photos and she was content enough to agree that I could be honored enough to be their wedding photographer. We (my assistant and I) get to the wedding location an hour early. We took literally hundreds of shots of pre-wedding preparations, all of the family shots that could be done with the family who actually showed up on time, and everything else that was agreed upon.
We shot the wedding as discussed. After the formal ceremony, we continued to shoot more casual shots, cake cutting, first dance, the reception, and everything else that was agreed upon. At that point, the dinner was being served. Again, as previously agreed upon, I wasn’t going to shoot a bunch of people jamming food into their faces and it was time for a break anyway.
Her mother, who was actually the one paying me, invited myself and my assistant to discreetly grab a plate of food and sit at the back of the reception area and relax for a few minutes. The bridezilla came completely unglued at that point. She stood up and literally shrieked that “the photographer isn’t here to eat, he’s here to take photos and make me look good!”
The entire clubhouse went silent and all eyes turned to me. I set my fork down, glanced at the Bridezilla’s mother, and then back at the entire ballroom and mumbled through an apology that wasn’t warranted but somehow seemed necessary. Then I got my revenge. I proceeded to aim my camera directly at the fat witch while she chewed every last bite of her meal and jammed seemingly endless desserts into her maw.
Shortly thereafter, her mother and brand new regretful husband approached me and suggested that despite our contract to shoot through the duration of the reception, it might be better if I go ahead and call it a night. So I left. Very happily, I might add. The next day, as I was starting to do post-production edits on the photos, the psycho called me.
She screamed about how there was no way they were paying for the photos (that she hadn’t even seen yet) and that she was going to call the local TV station to make sure I never got work again. “Ok,” I said, “I understand you’re upset. Please enjoy your honeymoon and we can discuss this later.” And I guess I kind of hung up on her.
Half an hour later, her mother called me. She assured me that the bill would be paid in full and apologized profusely for how her daughter acted. I got paid in full. EVERYONE in the family was perfectly happy with the wedding photos except the Bridezilla. Her mother thanked me for my patience. Her husband thanked me for my tolerance.
And I thanked the powers-that-be that I’d never have to see or deal with the atrocious with again.
Fact: The Grass Is Always Greener
Even though brides used to be able to wear whatever they wanted on their wedding day, there was one color that everyone avoided like the plague—the color green. Simply put, green was often associated with promiscuity. Why? Well, women with “loose morals” were more likely to “roll around in the grass.” Pretty dang scandalous.
85. Objection Overruled
I used to be a Deputy Sheriff and part of my job was taking in-custody defendants to their court dates. One particular defendant happened to have two court dates on the same day. The first court date was, to my surprise, his wedding date. The other case was for roughing up his girlfriend— the same one he was marrying. They were getting married so the bride could not be compelled to testify against the groom.
So when we were at the wedding court date, the judge did the usual thing and asked if there was anyone who objected. The Assistant DA in the back stood up and proceeded to blow my mind. The entire courtroom went dead silent until the Judge spoke, ‘Well who am I to stand in the way of love?’ And with that he banged his gavel, they were married.
The ADA’s case fell apart, and the defendant was released that day. He was, however, back in prison by the next week. I’ll let you guess what he was taken in for. So what happened in the end? The good news is: no he did not kill her. The bad news? The last time I saw her she was pregnant with his kid.
86. Twin Trauma
My cousins are identical twins…and I mean identical. On the wedding day of one of them, something bizarre happened. He and his girlfriend had been dating for quite a few years, so she had no good excuse. What happened was that during the reception, people were clinking their glasses for the couple to kiss. Well, the bride got up and kissed the wrong twin.
87. No Entry
At my sister’s wedding, part of the reception was held indoors, in an area that isn’t wheelchair accessible. My disabled wife and I had to miss out on that part of it. We found out about it on the day, minutes before that part of the wedding was due to start. A little while after, we realized that there actually is a way to get into the area.
We would just need to go through an inside room that had been set up with tables for dinner. I found my sister and asked them to ask the staff to let us through. My blood still boils at her reply. My sister forbade us from going through the room, saying she didn’t want anyone going into it until it was dinnertime. So my wife and I were left sitting alone outside while she and her friends had a chocolate fountain and open bar.
I came about THIS close to giving her a loud piece of my mind and bailing on the wedding.
88. I’ll Take That Chicken Parm To Go
It wasn’t a good sign when the bride uninvited me from the reception dinner while I was at the wedding because she thought I would try to take the groom away from her. I got to go home and take off my heels and not have to socialize with people and my boyfriend came back with delicious leftovers. So honestly, I think I was the real winner here.
89. It’s All About Me, Myself, And I
When I was eleven years old, my cousin got married for the third time. I never really liked her because she was 37 when I was 11, so we didn’t have a lot in common. Also, she was pretty full of herself. The wedding itself was fine. Pretty boring, but fine. Then we get to the reception. We were told we had to sit down as soon as we got there.
Some people found this instruction weird and out of the ordinary, but I had only ever been to one other wedding before this one so I personally didn’t think anything of it. Her other weddings were when I was little, and no kids had been allowed to attend. We all sat down and the bride and groom then made a huge dramatic entrance.
Everyone awkwardly clapped for them as they strutted around the room with actual crowns on their heads. The bride then gets the microphone, hands it to her mom, and asks her to say something she loves about the bride. She then tells her mom to pass it on and says she wants everyone in the room to say one thing they absolutely love about the bride.
Not the bride and groom. Not their relationship. Just about the bride herself. It was one of the most painful things I’ve ever seen. Everyone was awkwardly trying to come up with things to say about her when it came to their turn. When it was my turn, I just said, “Your eyeshadow is pretty.” I felt so awkward and wanted to be anywhere in the world but there.
My older brother said “Pass,” which made her force a fake laugh and urge him to say something. He ignored it and she kept insisting, so he said, “Your parents,” and passed the mic on. To make matters even weirder, she then had the staff set up a booth where we could all pose and take pictures with a life-size cutout of Donald Trump.
She has since begun posting photos of herself with the cutout on Facebook constantly. She seems to think it looks so realistic, which it doesn’t. She even made a post pretending that she had been caught cheating on her husband with the cutout. She has posted pictures of herself kissing it and of it standing in her room.
These posts are always accompanied with captions like, “Oops, I just got caught with my side piece!” or some other cringy stuff like that. But that’s not even the worst part! Even weirder, the husband laughs about it and encourages it. Meanwhile, her daughter from one of her previous marriages deleted her from Facebook.
Nowadays, this daughter often stays with her dad because she just can’t stand her mom anymore. Anyway, my cousin and this new husband ended up divorcing a few months after the wedding. The reason why was truly disturbing. She had caught him cheating on her with an 18-year-old girl who was still in high school at the time.
Since the first time I had met him, I could tell that this guy had always given off bad, creepy vibes. This was to the point where even strangers noticed and wanted their kids to stay away from him. She married another guy a few years later, and they are still together and living happily ever after. I guess fourth time’s the charm!
90. He Gave Marriage A Shot
We all met at the groom’s house on our way to the bachelor party. We gathered around for a shot and his toast, verbatim, was, “To my future ex-wife.” We all looked at each other awkwardly for a moment, but ultimately didn’t think much of it and had a great night. It turns out he was already cheating on her, ended up having a kid with the other woman, and got divorced when she found out. He is obviously no longer a friend.
91. Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off
A couple of years back, I was waitressing at this function lounge that was hosting a reception. The music started but nobody came in for a solid 30 seconds, so the DJ cuts the music. Everyone then heard loud arguing in the foyer for about a minute, and two men later came stumbling into the hall fighting each other bloody. It was the groom and the bride’s brother.
Turns out, the groom’s side of the family didn’t want him marrying the girl, and the groom decided at the reception that he agreed with his family. Long story short, more people got involved with the fighting, and officers were called. The bride was, understandably, a crying mess. Still, she decided that if she spent so much money on the event, then they were going to have a party with or without the groom.
Honestly, she was so much stronger than I could have ever been, so good on her for that…but the whole thing was an absolute mess.
92. This Monster-In-Law Is A Little Extra
My wife’s brother just got married this past May. The bride’s mother is a big DIY person and decided to go a little nuts with extra flowers, table pieces, decorations, etc. Please note that I said “extra.” You see, the hall was already decorated by the venue, she just took it upon herself to buy and add way more stuff.
Anyway, a few weeks ago she sent my mother-in-law, the groom’s mom, an email with receipts of all the extra stuff she bought—$7,000 worth!!!—and asked that she pay half since it was technically set up in time for the rehearsal dinner for guests to enjoy. It’s causing a huge rift between the newlyweds since the bride is taking her mom’s side.
93. Crying Over Spilled Champagne
One of my good friends got married and I’d never met the bride before the wedding because “she’s just shy.” On the wedding day, she was belligerently inebriated before the ceremony even started and couldn’t even get through the lines she was supposed to repeat (i.e. “I promise to love you”). She ended up slapping the groom, spilling champagne on her dress, and then crying under a table while he tried to comfort her.
They lasted about four months.
94. Drama 101
My wife got invited to a client’s daughter’s wedding. The couple were both drama students and many of the bridal party were drama students. The maid of honor’s toast was so disturbing, it’s unforgettable. It consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom, along the lines of “if it couldn’t be me, I’m glad it’s my best friend that’s marrying you.”
Somehow, that’s not the worst part. The best man’s speech was a lusty declaration of “if it doesn’t work out, call me, babe…like the previous time you called me.” Other toasts were similarly weird. A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and said to me that he was “this close” to standing up during the “speak now or forever hold your peace” thing.
I’m still not sure if the whole thing was a bunch of emotionally messed-up 20-year-olds, or one big piece of performance art.
95. Child Bride
I used to work at a David’s Bridal and a bride came in once with tons of friends. We did the Say Yes To The Dress thing, and an hour later she was standing there in $3,000 worth of stuff and didn’t have any money with her or in her account. She decided she wanted to apply for the store credit card. I ran it through the system, and she got denied.
She then called the groom for his info and he told her no. She threw a HUGE fit on the phone with him, standing on the bridal stage, literally demanding “WHY NOT? WHY?! WHY!!” like an actual child over and over again. I’ve never seen a 30-year-old age backward so quickly. She was just a brat. Literally stomping her feet in front of me, all her friends, and the other brides in the store.
I was so embarrassed for her. But then I got a big surprise. At the end of her tantrum, she hung up on him and her friend said, “I’m so sorry you can’t get your dress.” The bride stopped crying instantly and said: “Oh I’ll get the dress. I just have to do this at home, and when he gets mad enough, he’ll come get it for me so I’ll stop.”
I was speechless. Sure enough. Girl came back two days later with her man and he applied for the credit card and bought the dress. He was livid and silent, and she was over-the-top smug. I can’t imagine they’re having a happy marriage if they are still together.
96. Top Secret
The bride gave explicit wedding instructions beforehand through various channels. One rule was that there were to be no posts on social media before the bride gave the OK, and certainly no posts before she posted herself. Anyway, a few hours before the wedding, someone posted something, saying that they were at the wedding or whatever.
Absolutely nothing malicious, just a generic statement. The bride saw this and everyone could tell she was about to blow up. At the end of the vows, the bride turned to the congregation and said, “Can you all please unfriend Jennifer as I gave out explicit instructions that there are to be no social posts until I give the OK, and she has broken that rule today.”
Just imagine—she literally just finished her vows and she finally has a new husband, but that was the first thing on her mind. Everyone awkwardly laughed as if she was joking…nope. She then stormed off, with her new husband awkwardly following behind. There was a weird atmosphere after that and everyone started making excuses to go home.
I’m talking proper fake emergency stuff here: “I have to get back because I need to err, my erm, yeah bye…” Everyone left much earlier than usual. No one wanted to be there and have awkward conversations with the bride.
97. I’m Gonna Getcha
I was dating this girl who asked me to go to her ex’s wedding. We dated for a few months prior, but asking me to go to a wedding together felt like a serious commitment…I still accepted. I planned for the week off work and we went all out for this wedding. Half the time, I was trying to make the most of our time together, but she always went missing.
Fast forward to the reception. She made a scene in the most unstable and mentally sick way. In front of the groom, the bride, and everyone else, she said out loud: “I’m still in love with you. We literally have been sleeping together all week and I can’t stop thinking about you.” She quickly got escorted out after that.
The bride was clearly upset, but everyone tried to go about their business. As soon as I left, my “girlfriend” started completely ruining the hall and all the decorations, just throwing a fit on her way out. It was so embarrassing. I figured she was telling the truth since she was missing the whole time, but I’m pretty sure that everyone during the whole thing assumed this was too crazy to be real.
I definitely regret not seeing her true colors before, but when you work so much and try to date at the same time, you have very little time to get to really know some people. Time sort of flies by and you end up dating for a few months. Fast forward a month or two later…she got together with the groom and I’m pretty sure she has no regrets about wasting my time.
She probably doesn’t even feel bad about using me or even ruining that man’s marriage. This woman is seriously twisted.
98. My Way Or The Highway
I’m not a wedding planner, but I was going to be at a wedding as a bridesmaid. The bride-to-be took us—the maid of honor, another bridesmaid, and myself—out to pick out dresses. The bride’s mother and the groom’s mother also came at her insistence. We arrived at the dress shop only to find that the bride, her mom, and the groom’s mom had already picked out the dress she wanted us to wear for the wedding.
Okay, that was fine in theory, but we had been under the impression that we’d get to pick our own dresses. Whatever, it was her wedding. When we tried the dresses on, however, we realized something disturbing—they didn’t really look good on the two of us because we both had different frames and sizes. We came out, showing the bride and two moms, and the moms were in agreement that the dress they picked really didn’t work. The bride’s response, on the other hand, was jaw-dropping.
The bride was very upset that we didn’t magically look great in the same dress. She then started making snide, subtle comments about our appearances, implying that we’d need to lose weight to look good in them, and telling one of the other girls how she’d need a push-up bra to look “normal.” The moms ignored the bride’s attitude and flagged down an employee to help us find some alternatives.
We live in a small city, so the selection they had wasn’t the best, but the employee found at least half a dozen other dresses that come in the color the bride wanted. We tried them all on, but because we vary so much in body type, most of them didn’t look good on both of us. For example, the strapless ones looked bad on the busty girls, while the long dresses didn’t fit right on the short ones, etc.
The bride continued to make comments about our bodies. Finally, the last dress we tried on was generic enough that it looked fine on all of us…except the bride didn’t like it because it didn’t make us look “sexy” enough. To make matters worse, the dress had pockets. She absolutely did not want her bridesmaids to have pockets.
At this point, every single one of us was happy with this choice except for her. She reluctantly agreed to let us pick that dress but she was very clearly not happy. So then we picked out shoes. The bride told us we will be wearing the same shoes as her but in a different color. Weird, but again, we didn’t argue with her.
When we tried them on, though, there was a snag in her plans. I have very small feet (technically a 3 in kids, though some size 5 shoes will fit). The heels she wanted were sky high and strapless. When I put them on and tried to walk, my feet kept slipping out. They were also open-toed, so I couldn’t really stuff the front as I’d done in the past.
To top it off, just standing in them to try them on, the front was absolutely ruining my feet. I told her this, and she watched me try to walk in them only to have them flop off. Her mom asked me if they came in a smaller size, but they were fancy shoes, so no, they obviously didn’t make them for kids. The bride’s solution?
“Once you start to wear them, your feet will swell and they’ll fit then.” She then walked off. The bride’s mom assured me that we’d “figure something out” and bought all of our outfits as her condolences. I never got to know how that would have worked out, though, because the bride and groom simultaneously cheated on each other, and they called off the wedding.
The bride didn’t even have the nerve to tell me herself; I had to hear it from the maid of honor. We are no longer friends, and it’s sad to me that this wasn’t even the reason why. I can’t believe I let someone treat me, and other people she called friends, like that.
99. Well, You Did Throw the Bouquet…
She flew in town to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. And she decided to cheat on her husband with one of the groomsmen and blame me for that. Because it was my wedding, so that clearly makes it my fault that she was unfaithful.
100. Missed Encounters
At the wedding of a college friend of my husband’s, we learned that the bride (his old friend) had been in love with him for over a decade. We learned this from the women at our table at the reception. We introduced ourselves while we waited for the bride and groom to arrive. They were horrified that we were there—and extremely worried.
My husband had NO idea that she had feelings for him. She bee-lined right for our table after the “introducing Mr & Mrs” thing—ignoring her family and leaving her husband standing alone. She clung to my husband and sobbed—lifting her head to glare at me. She had to be pulled off of him.
She repaired herself, then followed us as we tried to leave quietly—her parting shot was to stare at my chest and say, “Well I guess I know what I was missing all along!” Her new husband was in shock and my husband was horrified and embarrassed—he was completely clueless and would never have gone to the wedding if he’d know she was obsessed with him. It was bizarre.