“Life is nothin’ but poop, so eat lots of beans… And prunes” -Cray Jones
Poop may not be pretty and can be malodorous at times, but it’s pretty darn important. Whether it’s called a number two, crap, guano, or dung, fecal matter is used to fertilize crops and even produce energy. Since most living things on this planet produce some type of waste material, poop is just another facet of the cycle of life.
28. A Little Big Trouble
Constipation affects nearly 63 million people in America at any given time. Thanks to modern-day diets and lifestyles, some people have a little trouble when they need to ‘push’. Chronic constipation affects anywhere from 10% to 20% of the world population, and is on the rise. Eating fiber and drinking more water can help.
27. Shock Rock Tribute
Screamin’ Jay Hawkins honored the troubles surrounding poop in 1969, with his notorious song ‘Constipation Blues.’ It’s a real winner.
26. Making Paper
In Thailand, the dung of elephants get collected, cleaned, and undergoes a process to be made into paper. It’s for a good cause, the paper made from elephant poop is sold to raise money for elephant preservation.
25. Eat What
Dysentery took a toll on German soldiers occupying parts of northern Africa in WWII. This was, until they noticed that locals were unaffected. The secret? Eating fresh camel poop staved off dysentery, thanks to some beneficial bacteria, called Bacillus subtilis.
24. Many Names For One
Guano not only refers to the droppings of sea birds, but also is used to describe the fecal matter of seals and bats.
23. Light My Fire
Since the discovery of fire, humans have used dried animal dung to light their cooking fires. Today, solid and liquid manure can be burned to produce natural gas. The droppings of chickens, cows, and pigs are harvested for natural energy production.
22. Under The Cover of Darkness
‘Night soil’ is the term given to describe human waste. Before the creation of sewer systems, many cities were, for lack of a better term, full of poop. People would be hired to cart away human waste, under the cover of night, so residents would be spared the sight and stench of removal. Human waste was typically dumped in fields and in rivers.
21. A Present For The Moon
When astronauts aboard Apollo 11 made history, leaving the first steps of man on the moon, they also left something else. About 96 pounds of human waste. Talk about leaving an impression.
20. More Than Meets The Eye
Poop is made up of about 75% water. The rest of a bowel movement consists of live and dead bacteria, fiber, mucus, and dead cells.
19. Scavenger Clean Up Solutions
The vulture is reviled by some because it dines on carrion. Despite surviving off of rotting flesh, vultures still care about keeping clean. Vultures poop on their feet, using the bacteria in their waste to fend off the germs in their meals.
18. Colorful Display
Poop can come in many different colors, depending on your diet and health. Green stool is caused by eating lots of leafy vegetables, versus red stool, which can be caused by plants like beets. Black stool can be a serious health indicator, as it might mean there is blood in the stool. Take a look occasionally, it’s for your health!
17. Trust Your Nose
If a poop smells really rank, it could be your body’s way of telling you that there is an infection. Certain parasites and digestive conditions make fecal matter smell really bad. It’s just nature’s way of getting your attention.
16. If It Floats There’s Fat
Poop should sink. If it doesn’t, there might be a health problem. Floaters mean there is high fat content, and can also indicate celiac disease.
15. Don’t Mind If I Toot
People pass gas about 10 to 18 times daily.
14. Something’s Fishy
The parrot fish eats coral. They digest the coral skeleton and eventually poop it out as sand. Beach photoshoot anyone?
13. No Rush To Flush
Known for their lethargic lifestyle, Sloths only poop once a week. Going to the bathroom for these slow moving creatures, can actually risk their lives. They come out of their tree to do the deed making them extremely susceptible to predators.
12. Tire Tracks
In WWII, soldiers in the German military would drive their tanks over mounds of camel poop for good luck. When Allied soldiers found this out, they began leaving land mines disguised as camel droppings. When the Germans uncovered the ruse, they opted to ride over camel poop that already had tank tracks. In response, Allied soldiers made land mines which looked like camel poop that had been previously rolled over.
11. Read To Push
Known as the ‘Mariko Aoki phenomenon,’ some people get the urge to go number two, after smelling books. Who knew books could move people to such feelings?
10. One Way To Remember
Wombats not only make poop shaped in the form of a cube, they also use their droppings to remember where they live.
9. Dropping Some Justice
A man on trial in 2009, committed some dastardly actions with a bag of poop in a San Diego courtroom. He ended up charged with robbery, and two counts of assault by poop. The man’s lawyer and jury were on the receiving end of some angry poo flinging. He was consequently sentenced to serve 31 years in prison for his actions.
8. 14 Karat Deuce
For the low price of $275, there is a pill available on the market that can make you poop gold.
7. Pandas Unpack A Load
A panda can excrete up to 48 pounds of poop a day.
6. Hiding In Plain Sight
The viceroy and white admiral caterpillars disguise themselves to look like poop, in order to fool predators. The dung spider has its namesake, as it too looks like feces, because great minds think alike.
5. Old School
As many as 3 billion people on the planet, still rely on using dung to cook their food.
4. When you gotta go…
The winner of the 2005 London Marathon, Paula Radcliffe, did the deed on the side of the road, mid race. She did this despite being in full view of cameras and spectators.
3. Not Full Of It
The makers of Cards Against Humanity love stunts, and have pulled off some noteworthy feats. On one Black Friday, the game creators sent out 30,000 chic looking boxes filled with crap. No bull.
2. An Unusual Record
A woman in Ann Arbor, Michigan is credited with making the longest poop in the world. After eating a high fiber diet for a week, she managed to make a record poop measuring 26 feet in length!
1. The Stool Collector
George Frandsen of the United States has the largest collection of fossilized feces. In fancier language, fossilized feces are called coprolite.
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