There’s nothing worse than a spoiled brat—and as these stories prove, their behavior can range from utterly absurd to incredibly disturbing. From the adult brat in our lives to the actual tantrum-throwing children, these rich and entitled people—or sometimes just entitled—give new meaning to the phrase “spoiled rotten.”
1. Can Buy Me Love
This girl I used to be friends with broke up with her boyfriend because he didn’t buy her the $4,000 Cartier bracelet she wanted for her birthday. Even though he took her out to a fancy dinner and bought her a bouquet of roses.
2. A Costly Choice
I was invited to a graduation party, hosted by a very wealthy couple whose daughter had just graduated from Yale. Her father came out, in front of the guests, displaying his Rolex and Cartier watches—asking which one of the two expensive watches the group thought would be “the more appropriate for the occasion.” Everyone just looked at each other, silently—not quite sure what to say.
3. An Enlightened Brat
I used to intern at a firm that dealt in tax and estate management for “high net worth individuals.” Given the worm’s eye view of the place that I had, I could only ever catch glimpses of our clients’ crazy; but suffice it to say, their stories are absolutely insane.We had a respected spinal surgeon who became convinced that he no longer needed to sleep or eat to survive. Oh, it gets worse.
Instead of sleeping, he would meditate for two hours a day and would eat vitamin pills instead of food—except for when he came to town for a meeting and made the firm take him out for a steak dinner. He was performing two or three operations a day in this state.
Neil Armstrong’s nephew or grandson or whatever was attending Space Camp the same week I was. There were many rumors of him being a little brat. It was confirmed true that almost every day he was at risk of getting kicked out. The last day of camp Neil actually spoke to a huge crowd of space nerds. Minutes before the speech, that little brat got kicked out, publicly, in front of mostly everyone at the camp. Neil must have been so embarrassed.
5. Where There’s a Will, There’s a Brat
He was 25 years old when I knew him. His father owned oilfields. He had a credit card that he used for anything and everything, which his parents paid the balance on every month. He never even kept track of what was charged on it, just bought whatever caught his fancy. He openly and shamelessly admitted that he had offered his college professor money to give him a passing grade.
One day, he was cranky. He said something I will never forget for as long as I live. He genuinely meant it too. He said, “I wish my parents would just die, so I could have their money. Why should I have to wait?”
6. Aren’t They Precious
Young girl about five years of age, getting ready to go into New York City to visit her Grandmother. She was at her Aunt’s house and did not have a pair of shoes that she liked. She called her chauffeur, told him which pair of shoes she wanted—the dude got the shoes and drove some 20 miles to deliver them, and she told him he got the wrong ones and he was an idiot. No one in the family thought this was inappropriate.
7. Bullet Dodging 101
I brought a girlfriend at the time to my parents for Christmas. We had been dating for roughly 7-8 months and my parents went and dropped some cash on gifts for her. She opened them and said: “It’s like you don’t even know me. I would never wear any of this. You can take them back and return them.” RIGHT in front of my parents.
I asked her to leave. She asked if I could give her a ride home since it was Christmas…I said no and to call a cab.
8. My Money, My Spot
Stuck-up jerk in some giant land yacht of an SUV parks in a handicapped spot, does her shopping, then pushes her cart into the other handicapped spot. Went out to confront her, since she didn’t have a handicapped tag or a permit, and she stares me down and then launches into a speech about how she is so important and busy. It got so, so bad, I was speechless.
Then she says “the cripples” can walk an extra few feet because SHE contributes so much to THEIR welfare checks. She rolled up her window and managed to spin her tires backing out of the space. I just stood there, stunned.
9. Size Matters to the Little One
I was nannying for a wealthy family in the upper east side of Manhattan when I got engaged to my now-husband. Boy, age eight or nine, thought my ring was super cool and unique because he “never saw one that small before.” Thanks, kid.
10. The Road Less Traveled
My cousin’s daughter used to smash and break things as a way of “punishing” her parents when she didn’t get her way. She got a brand new car when she was 15 years old, despite not even being able to learn to drive until you’re 17 where we live. She got it just because she wanted it. She then took “spoiled” to the complete next level.
She decided that she wanted to take the car for a road trip with her friends, and she told her dad she would accuse him of molesting her if he didn’t pay for all the trip expenses.
11. If You Can’t Join ‘Em, Beat ‘Em!
A girl at my college who had always been extremely spoiled wanted to be the perfect sorority girl that she had always imagined she would become. Therefore, she demanded that her boyfriend step it up and she began trying to mold him into a typical “frat bro.” She changed his hair and clothes and made him rush tons of frats.
When he didn’t get into any, she had her rich parents help fund the start of a new fraternity on campus. I still don’t think it’s an officially recognized fraternity, but they’ve been trying to get it validated for three years at this point. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she had them declare her the “fraternity sweetheart,” and plastered the title all over social media.
12. The Smell of Success
I grew up in a very well-to-do suburb, and there was a family who had an extremely bizarre habit. They would buy cedar clothes hangers for their closets, but then once the cedar smell “wore off” after a month or so, they’d buy new ones and take the old ones to Goodwill. Apparently just lightly sanding them to refresh the scent was too much trouble.
13. Eat Your Words
A while ago I decided to treat myself to some Burger King. I was having a bad day and had a headache coming on. So I was waiting in line at the BK, when suddenly this woman comes in with a monster of a child. He was out of control, screaming, punching his mother, throwing things around. The mother didn’t pay any attention to him and he continued yelling, “I want a PIE.”
My headache turned into a full-blown migraine. I calmly turned and asked if she could please calm her child down. Immediately she got up in my face, telling me to mind my own business. I nodded and turned around, when the child cried out again how he wants a pie. I then decided to ruin their day in the most devious way I could think of.
When I got to the front of the line I asked the person at the register how many apple pies they have left. They told me and I bought all of them. I ate one and made sure the kid saw me throw the rest in the trash.
14. Making Amends
A girl at my high school constantly whined and complained because her parents refused to move out of the master suite of their mansion. She felt that she deserved it, because the attached walk-in closet and bathroom were bigger than hers. To reconcile this, she had her parents pay to redecorate her room every single year.
15. The Butler Did It
I work at a high-end buffet in Vegas. You get sat, are told to wait, I come up and greet you, explain our offerings, go over the drink menu, take a drink order, and then inform you to help yourself while I get the drinks. As I step away one time, I hear a kid about eight or so say, “So I have to get my own food?” Mom said yes.
Kid said, “I told you we should have brought Michael with us.” I didn’t understand who Michael was at first. When I realized the truth, I almost burst out laughing. Mom said, “NO, I told you before, we’re not bringing our butler on vacation.” I was five feet away and this was clear as day. I was stunned—that kid was 100% not joking one bit.
He really wanted his family butler to be on vacation so he wouldn’t have to walk to a buffet and get his own food. I’m not insulting the little dude for having one baller lifestyle, but holy balls that was an insane conversation to hear.
16. Family Planning
One classmate’s mom and step-dad literally asked her for permission to have a child together. She told them no because she wanted to be an only child. They listened.
17. Total Jerk
Saw a college guy with a ridiculously expensive car, I can’t remember the model, rear-end this woman who drove an absolute beater. Her car was definitely totaled and his wasn’t looking that hot either. He got out and started screaming at this woman. She was in tears. He kept telling her that she was going to pay for this.
When the authorities came, I saw each of them give their statements. Then he got the most satisfying comeuppance. After that, me and like 10 people came forward and gave our witness statements. It sounded like each and every one of us put the complete fault on him, which was the truth. When the authorities went back to him, I saw his face just sink.
He probably told them it was her fault and just found out that two handfuls of people just confirmed that he’s full of it. I’ve never seen that many witnesses stick around for a simple traffic accident. I think the other people felt the same way I did: that kid was a jerk and should be punished for what he did.
18. Modeling Excellent Behavior
A former friend of mine decided that she wanted to be a model, so her parents paid for modeling school and dozens of photo shoots. She wasn’t ugly, but she was definitely not model material. She would brag to everyone that she was a model and talk about having another gig or photo shoot, when in reality it was paid for by her parents to keep her happy.
19. Helicopter Parents Never Fly Coach
I worked as a nanny for a 1% family. The stuff I saw haunts me. I remember having one parent complain how rude it was a friend hadn’t offered to fly them to Miami on a private jet for a weekend getaway, and they were “forced” to go first-class. Had the other parent tell me they thought it was really “sweet” I was happy to help others and never be wealthy.
They would also spring last-minute trips on me and their kid all the time, so I’d stay in the main house with their child while the parents were country-hopping. Poor kid never had any sense of who was going to be where. There were business-related videos of the parents on YouTube, so it got to the point where I’d play them on an iPad so the kid had some sense of consistency.
Just to be clear, the kid was absolutely adorable and very sweet (which made it really hard to leave, I felt terrible), but it was pretty disheartening to think they’d probably turn out like their parents in a few years. The best part about the parent complaining over the first-class flight was when they asked me if I thought they were overreacting.
Literally asked me “Wouldn’t you be upset? Don’t you think that’s rude? They’ve been doing better [financially] now that they have Company X money they could have sent a plane etc.” and I’m thinking, well I’m pretty sure my entire year’s salary couldn’t pay for one chartered flight, so you know I’m probably not the best person to ask.
20. Choo Ch-Oops
I know someone who bought a condo without realizing that it was very near a train track. Entitled person was so outraged, they called a major rail freight company and asked them to stop running trains at night. Just for them. Spoiler: It didn’t work. Seriously the most eye-rolly thing I’ve ever heard about in my life.
21. This Kid Definitely Got What He Deserved
When I was 12 my dad dated a nice lady with a bratty 9-year-old who would talk back to her and refuse to do chores which would then be passed on to me. One day at the dinner table everyone is eating and he goes “listen!” And rips a tiny toot. His Mom is embarrassed and asks him to stop or go to the bathroom. Instead, he smiles this awful grin and leans in to rip one loose again—it couldn’t have gone worse.
All of a sudden, he accidentally soils himself in the middle of dinner. His expression of horror was the best thing ever, I cried laughing as he ran clutching his butt away from the table.
22. The Main Attraction
In a popular mall, a grown woman rolled on the ground kicking and screaming when the grown man she was with refused to buy her jewelry. She slammed her hand on the glass counter, then it turned into a shouting match. Then the guy started telling her off about how she needs to be a “traditional woman” or something.
He then proceeded to (childishly) mock her about how childish she was behaving. Like full-on making fake crying sounds. She cried. Then stopped. Like cold, hard stop on the crying. This was the glorious moment when she jumped onto the ground and rolled around kicking and screaming. I loved to see it.
A couple of years ago I had a study group going for a college course. We were usually together for a good three or four hours, so it was pretty common for someone to volunteer to go get food for everyone. Since they were the person getting us food, we would all kick in a little extra so that the person getting the food didn’t have to pay for theirs. Colloquially, “If you fly, I’ll buy.”
So, one day one of the girls in the group announces she’s going to Dunkin’ Donuts about an hour into the study session. I look up and say, “Ooh, I’ll buy if you fly,” and she looks at me like I’ve grown an extra appendage. Then she scoffs the most disgusting response I’ve ever heard. She says in this really disgusted tone, “I don’t bring food to other people. Servants do that.”
24. Lincoln or Bust
I met a girl at a bar, we were really hitting it off, and she decides to come home with me. So I’m super excited about my prospects for the night, and I take her out to the parking lot so I can drive her home. That’s when she stops in her tracks, suddenly turns me down, and walks about into the bar. Why? Because I drive a Honda.
25. Spoiled and I Know It
I have a billionaire customer with four kids, and all of them are pretty spoiled. However, the worst case is the youngest one, who once said to me spitefully “We’re going on Tiger next week and you’re not allowed to come!” Tiger is the name of their yacht in southern Italy. It’s not just that he’s spoiled that gets to me, it’s the fact he knows it and rubs it in purposely.
26. The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree
When I was in college, I worked as a substitute teacher at the local elementary schools. Subbed a kindergarten class one day. Things went fine until after recess. I went to pick up the kids at the designated line-up spot, and one little girl was throwing a fit because “My mommy says I have to be in the front of the line.”
I got to the room and she threw another fit because “My mommy says I have to sit in a blue chair.” This was the same chair she sat in before recess. It was (light) blue. The rest of the day, this same thing continued. At the end of the day, I made an unsettling discovery. Her mom was a girl I’d gone to high school with—and she had been one of my bullies. The overwhelming urge to tape the child’s mouth shut suddenly made sense.
27. I Own the Biggest Jet; Huge
Limo driver here. One of my clients was mad about the absolute stupidest thing one day. I guess when he landed at an airport one time and someone had a bigger jet than him. He obviously upgraded since that “incident” because when I picked him up last time, he came in on a massive jet that could have been a commercial plane. I wish I had his problems.
28. Pinch Parent
I was seated next to a Texan once on a flight, with an entire family behind us. The 9-year-old kid, who was seated directly behind him, would not stop kicking and pushing the seat as if nobody else mattered or even existed. After a while, the Texan turns around, looks right at the kid, and says, “You keep kicking my seat kid, and we’re gonna have problems.”
Kid stares at him blankly for a second. But the Texan knew just what to do. “You understand what I’m saying? Keep your feet off my darn seat or I’ll beat you to smithereens,” he repeats, then stares him down for a full 10 seconds. Never looked at the parents once, and the kid looked petrified. It was clearly the first time he had ever been talked back to, and he didn’t know how to react.
The Texan then turns back around, looks at me, and winks. It was pretty classic. The parents never said a thing, and the kid was like a mummy for the rest of the flight.
29. Bending Is for Rubes
I saw some like 12-year-old rich kid with his dad at Guitar Center buying like $6,000 worth of recording equipment. An item he was purchasing was on the lowest shelf. No big deal, right? Well, this kid proceeds to do the most spoiled thing ever. He snaps his fingers, pointed at it, and demanded an employee to “fetch this” for him.
30. Say My Title
Back in the day when I first began to do fieldwork, I met someone who just got his PhD. While we were out there, an old friend who he hasn’t seen in years came up to him and greeted him using his first name. His insane response blew my mind. He actually stopped the person in the middle of their sentence and said, “Excuse me, my name is Dr… ___,” and he was absolutely serious.
This was about ten years ago and I now have a PhD but I wouldn’t imagine doing that to anyone. Really, the only people that refer to me as Dr. are my students or if I am at a conference or something and that is absolutely fine by me.
31. I Prefer to See the Wallet as Half Full
Somebody told me about a guy bragging about spending $100 on a bottle of wine, and she told me “Everyone knows good wine is $100 a glass, not a bottle.”
32. Making Waves
Someone I know had booked a post-Christmas vacation in southern Thailand in 2004. If that doesn’t already ring a bell, let me remind you that this was probably one of the worst times in the history of mankind to go there. She arrived the day after the tsunami…and got super mad about the hotel being destroyed and her tour operator not being able to offer a proper replacement. Then she took it to the next level.
She also tried suing the hotel and operator, but to no avail. Like, what the heck is wrong with you? What part of human decency don’t you understand? Over 200k people have had their lives ended and all you freaking spoiled brats care about is that you won’t be able to stay in your five-star hotel? Worst of all, she told me all this herself, probably looking for confirmation or something.
33. They Call Me Richie Rich
This kid on my block whose parents were the CEO and CIO of a semi-major delivery service, kind of like U-Haul, never found out that being rich wouldn’t make him popular. He literally told me that he wanted to be known as “The Richest Kid in School.” I swear he thought life was a TV show or something.
34. Mo Money, Less Problems (For Me)
I have a cousin who racked up $40K in student loan debt, and during this time thought it was a good idea to spend months following U2 around Europe for one of their tours. She asked my grandfather, a man who was raised during the Great Depression and worked his butt off just to become solidly middle class, to pay off those loans so she could buy a house.
The funny thing is, my grandfather would have helped her in any way he could if he felt she wasn’t just taking advantage of him. He helped me buy a car, helped some of my other cousins purchase a home, would gift you a new washer if yours broke, and was always there for our family in general. After he turned her down, she got revenge in the worst way possible.
She was so angry, she refused to let my grandparents see their great-grandchild for several years. Yeah, great move there.
35. 365 Toys a Year
There is a family who has a young boy. His grandmother (who only speaks her native language) will buy the boy a large toy every time she goes shopping, which is at least once a day. And he expects her to; I’ve seen him throw a huge fit because she was in a hurry and forgot to buy him a toy. It always ends up with her going back and getting him a toy.
36. Crunchy Eggs
I had a roommate in my freshman year of college that came from an incredibly rich oil family. I remember him having the hardest time adjusting to not having someone else prepare him food. I remember waking up one morning and going to the kitchen and seeing him try to eat eggs and toast he had just prepared himself.
He asked me how I normally prepare fried eggs because his tasted really crunchy. When I found out the truth, I burst out lauging. Turns out he had just cracked the egg whole into the pan and prepared it shell and all.
37. Too Rich to Read
I work at a grocery store deli, and some customer once asked my coworker what the sale items were. The coworker mentioned that all yellow signs are specials, and she pointed to the signs we have. The customer point-blank told the coworker that she has no time to look at signs, and she needed the coworker to tell her all the sales. Mmkay, lady.
38. Nothing’s Free
This crazy spoiled rich girl came into my Starbucks. The cashier told her the total and she said, “Wait, I don’t get it for free?” , she thought apparently people gave her parents free drinks and such for her all these years. like, She never realized her parents swiping their cards all those years was them paying for her things, I guess.
39. First-Class Spoiled Brat
I was working with a 9-year-old once who didn’t understand that I couldn’t bring back a ton of bulky items from my vacation. I explained the sizes of suitcases, bag limits, etc. She looks at me and says, “Well just ask your pilot to carry the extras, you don’t have a big family so your plane won’t be crowded.” I then realized that this child had only ever been on her family’s private plane…
40. All Poors Are the Same
My mom had a friend who ended up marrying a rich guy and acting like she was hot stuff because she snagged him. She once asked us if she had given us some random kitchen appliance she had gotten rid of. When my mom replied no, this woman legitimately said, “Oh, I must have given it to one of my other poor friends.”
41. A Touchy Statement
I work in auto parts and a really flustered woman came in last winter. All she said was that she couldn’t see clearly anymore cause the things weren’t cleaning the glass. I go out to look at her wiper blades. It’s a newish Mercedes, and the rubber is torn clear off the frame. So, I go back inside and while I’m getting her replacements, I’m explaining to her how you need to free the blades from ice before you turn them on, or they’ll tear like that.
She gives me the most puzzled look I’ve ever seen on a person: think puppy hearing a weird noise for the first time, head cocked and all. She asks me what I mean…I said before you get in and turn them on, just give them a gentle pull so they’re not attached to the ice anymore. Her out-of-touch response made my blood run cold.
She gives me that look again and says, “It’s cold, you can’t expect me to seriously touch it.” Now it was my turn to be a little puzzled. She says, “I thought the car took care of that nonsense, you can’t expect a regular person to work on it like that.” I said ma’am, the only way to prevent this happening again is to ensure the blades aren’t stuck in ice…that’s it.
She huffs out loud and says, “Fine! I guess I’ll have to talk to the help about being on top of that from now on.” Then she pays and leaves before I can process and say anything else.
42. Happy Nothing Day!
A child who was a guest at someone else’s birthday party threw a tantrum because she wanted presents too. She got her way—her parents took her shopping right after the party and she got a brand new Gameboy.
43. Walking, Talking Wallet
Here’s a super snobby story from my big sister’s younger years. She was about 12 or 13 at that point, and she and my dad were out buying her some new winter shoes. My sister locked her eyes on a pair of Converse boots almost instantly, and my dad suggested at least looking around some more in case she found something even nicer.
To that my sister just said in a very matter-of-fact way, “Remember, you’re just the wallet.” Nowadays if someone from the family takes someone else shopping to buy them something, it’s “tagging along as the wallet.”
44. Designer EpiPen
The worst case of entitlement that I’ve personally seen was when my cousin expected my brother to carry her EpiPen at Disney World. Why? Just because the special bag her mom bought her didn’t go with the outfits she was planning to wear. So her mom spent two weeks looking for a new bag that matched her clothes.
45. Car Problems
My buddy’s girlfriend had her father buy her a new Jeep. The same week, she needed some extra money and decided to take it out of her mom’s purse. She got caught, obviously, and they took the Jeep. She threw a fit about having mean parents so the father sold the brand-new jeep and got her a little beater SUV. It probably won’t help her: This family is rich.
I’m talking like, “maybe I’ll buy a G6 or maybe I’ll buy another boat” rich. Her father invests portions of her money every month for her. She only spends tip money from her job, the rest goes to her savings (which her father handles). He’s made great amounts of money investing in stocks. She is wealthy enough to never need to go to college. Yet, she’s taking money from her parents and complaining about how bad they are.
The parents are doing the best they can to discipline this girl but she is just too much for her own good.
46. Is Laziness a Handicap?
College roommate parked in the front-row handicap spots every single day before going to class, so he wouldn’t have to walk so far. Racked up thousands of dollars in parking tickets, only to have mommy and daddy pay them off every time.
47. Daddy’s Little Ghoul
Had a boss ages ago. Great guy. He had two kids: One was a pretty normal guy, and then a very, very “everything is about me” daddy’s girl for a daughter. One day, she runs through our office, tears streaming down her face, straight out “looks like someone kicked the bucket” levels of trauma. I was actually scared. She slams the door to his overhead office, loud enough that everyone in the store can hear.
And then there is a ton of tearful screaming (“WWAHHHHHTBTHBTHA THASKJHT THBTHTBTHBTHBT’) as her father just keeps repeating over and over “What’s wrong? What happened?” Ten minutes later, she blurts out I RAN OVER MY IPOD MINI. She must’ve dropped it in the parking lot at the gym and backed over it somehow? Who knows. Couldn’t stand her at all, apple fell very far from the tree on that one.
48. The More the Merrier
A guy (in his mid-20s) who worked for me was mad that his father bought him one jet Ski-Doo. On Christmas, he said to his father, “What am I going to do with one?” His father bought him a second one so his friends could go too.
49. Sink Your Teeth Into This One
When I was a teenager, my mom ran an in-home daycare. There were these two sisters, about 3 and 5, who were spoiled rotten (literally). They weren’t necessarily wealthy, but they were definitely never told no. We had lunches set up two ways: The parents could pay a little less and send lunch with their kids every day, or pay a little more and we would provide lunch for them.
These two girls would bring their “lunch,” which their mother let them pick out and usually consisted of mostly fruit snacks, super sugary juice, and other non-nutritional foods. They simply refused to eat anything else. Of course, this meant they were always in a bad mood because sugar can only get you so far, and if another kid had a snack they wanted, the girls would gang up on the kid and try to take it.
They had to be closely monitored during lunch and snack time. They ate so much sugar that their front teeth were nothing but little brown nubs…
50. A Brat of a Different Breed
An ex-friend of mine was given a puppy at his seventh birthday party. He publicly threw a tantrum because he didn’t like the breed. Thankfully, the puppy was given to his aunt and the little brat was told he would never receive another pet. Cue epic tantrum saying he changed his mind. Nope. Didn’t work.
51. Her Ego Puts Her Over Carrying Capacity
A local socialite married into one of the richest and most powerful families here. The story goes that she was at a bank’s main office to meet with the CEO. Instead of taking the elevator like a regular person, she had her bodyguards remove all the people inside the elevator so that she could go up alone without people bothering her.
She said something along the lines of, “Get out of my elevator.” Funny thing is, one of the people she had forced out the elevator was the bank owner’s wife, who decided to take another elevator with the rest of the people who were forced out. The owner’s wife got her sweet revenge. Once the socialite got to the office, the bank owner’s wife was already there and promptly told her to “get out of her building.”
52. Row Row Row Your Boat
A girl at my high school used to complain that her boat was a foot short of being a yacht. Not her family’s boat. They had a different boat. This was her boat.
53. The Great Exchange
My husband and I host high school age exchange students in Canada. They come from a bunch of different places in the world. Had this one boy from Southern Italy. About two weeks in, we had this conversation: Him: My sheets haven’t been washed yet. Me: Have you washed them? Him: No. Me: Well that’s probably why they haven’t been washed. His next words left me stunned.
“The housekeeper does that.” The weird thing is that he did wash his clothes. His hang-up with the sheets was he didn’t know how to put the bed back together. Needless to say, he learned how to do laundry properly, make a bed, and went home with some basic cooking skills and a couple recipes in his pocket. Kid was definitely a brat, but his willingness to learn these things made us have the patience to teach him.
54. Normal Kid
I know a guy whose dad was the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I was hanging out with him when he suddenly said, ‘My dad isn’t paying for my rent anymore. I can’t believe how hard budgeting is when I have to pay for my own rent. I can only go out drinking once a week now. Have you guys always had to watch what you spend this closely?’ I tried so hard not to laugh. He turned 25 this year and has been out of college and working for two years.
55. Money Can’t Buy Sense
The last girl I dated was spoiled, but at the same time that lead to her being naive as well. She knows all about designer stuff and how to decorate a house, but it was only 10 months or so ago that she learned about the space station and that people are in space year-round. Or that we have rovers on Mars, and have for a while. But that’s just the beginning of the nightmare.
She also just learned that our solar system is in a galaxy, and that the galaxy is in the universe—She thought the solar system was the universe. You may say “so what?” but she is a teacher in the local school system who has no basic understanding of science whatsoever. She thought that Einstein was the guy who either built or designed the Eiffel tower.
That aside, she has no basic living skills. She can’t cook and often wonders why her cup/glass/bowl is on the table or counter where she left it. She called me asking for directions the first time she had to do laundry, one call for the washer and 30 minutes later another call for the dryer. She has no money management skills due to her family’s wealth and always being supplied with cash.
Now that she is not at home, she can’t understand why her account gets to zero. I have been there when she goes to buy something and has insufficient funds. She will say “how is that possible, where did the money go…can you help me find where the money went?” like it’s just sitting in another account or something. She moved out from her parents’ house at 33 and she’s 36 now with no idea how to support herself.
She feels entitled when things are not exactly how she expects them. Oh, and mom and dad still pay for her cell phone, internet, Netflix, car insurance…all she pays is rent, food, clothing, and beauty products. I remember when she got this blank stare because I said I couldn’t afford to drop almost $5,000 on a trip with no warning. It turned into “Why don’t you want to go with ME?”
She couldn’t understand when I said it wasn’t about her, it was about going on a trip that cost $5,000 and leaving in 2 weeks, no warning for work just drop everything and go. Not to mention if we booked the trip months in advance, we could have done it for half the cost. I can’t imagine how she will make it when her parents are gone.
56. Where’s the Dorm Maid?
Was an RA for three years, we had a student and his mom aggressively call the dorm’s front office because: “It’s been two weeks, and nobody’s come to clean our room yet.”
57. Shopping Spree
I used to work at a big chain grocery store, and there would be screaming kids and such, but they’re peanuts compared to this horror story. So this mom and her two sons (6 and probably 13) came in one summer day and the boys just started acting out. They rode in the carts and were crashing into walls or displays. Mom does nothing to quiet them.
They continue to run around the store, causing chaos and irritating customers. When they got to the soda aisle, all heck broke loose. The kids grabbed soda bottles and started shaking them and then opening them. Soda sprayed everywhere and their mom did NOTHING. My manager just had enough and confronted the mom. She called the kids “little brats” and said that she was going to make the mom pay for the sodas that were opened.
The mom refused and said, “I’m not paying for something I’m not going to buy.” People then pointed out the sodas that were opened and the mess her kids made. “They were just having fun!” She yelled, but no one took her side. A uniformed officer happened to be in the store and confronted the mom with the threat of writing a ticket for unpaid merchandise. She then finally paid up, but she left her cart of food behind. My manager then banned her and her brats from the store.
58. Putting on a Show
Was at the Vancouver Aquarium with a school field trip for my kids and a few other families. One family would do everything to push their way to the front, not pay for things, etc. Their kids had heelies. The park was pretty busy. Little brats would run into people and just skate away without a word, but there was one kid in particular who sucked the most.
We were sitting and waiting for the Beluga show to start and that same kid comes buzzing in from stage left on his stupid heelies. Then he hits a wet patch and his feet go flying out from under him. He lands flat on his back in a giant puddle in front of the entire crowd, and everyone started to laugh. It was glorious.
59. Maybe I Want to Try New Things
A girl in my high school bullied her mom into buying her an electric guitar that was signed by our state basketball team at a silent auction. She didn’t play the guitar, or like sports.
60. Do You Know What My Dad Does?
A rich guy in our college dorm thought he was untouchable cause his dad was some NFL player from the 90s and had not blown all his money yet. He would get freshman girls blackout drunk and then film himself with the before showing all his buddies the next day. Well, one buddy was not as close as he thought, and he gave him the rudest wake-up call.
He went to the RA, who then went to campus and then the real authorities. It was a fun night watching the parking lot fill up with the officers on duty that night and watch them haul his butt out of the dorms while they went and gathered evidence.
61. I Guess Beggars Can Be Choosers
My mom’s cousin’s kid was, and probably still is, the worst. She was like something out of a TV show, stamping her foot and getting her way while her parents scrambled like madmen to ensure that she got everything she wanted. Once, when my Grandpa was very sick, she had to be driven home by my uncle. She point blank refused to get in the car.
When asked why, she said: “My daddy drives a Ferrari. I’m not getting in that thing!” It was just a basic Ford Fiesta. She sat on the floor and screamed. We told her to get in the car. She still wouldn’t, so my uncle called her dad. Her dad then drove all the way back from the hospital and picked her up like it was no big deal. She was 6 years old at the time.
62. You’re Never Too Old!
This 30-year-old guy I know named Matt is the most spoiled person, adult or child, that I’ve ever seen in my life, hands down. He uses substances and still lives at home. His parents literally drive him to the city on a regular basis and give him money to buy junk with. He works at his parents’ restaurant, delivering pizzas in his dad’s BMW.
He can goof off on the job and take days off all the time, never having to worry about being fired. And the jerk still has the nerve to whine about how awful his dad is! One time, I watched him literally cry his eyes out on the phone, begging his dad for money. As soon as he hung up, he whined because the dad was going through a slow period at the shop and said he would not be able to deliver any money that day.
63. Nice Try There, Cupcake
Hosted and gave a lecture to a cooking group (+ kids), and as a thank you for this free event, the organizers gave me some cupcakes they had baked during the workshop. One of the kids started screaming at me that she wanted the cupcakes and almost pulled the plate from my hands. The mother very softly said that those were meant for me.
The kid shouted while stamping her foot, “But I want them, she [meaning me] doesn’t want them.” The mother just looked ashamed and did not say anything further while the kid ran off angry. It’s not about the worth of the cupcakes, more about the sheer confidence in the kid’s eyes that I would hand the thank-you gift I had just gotten over to her, just because she wanted them.
64. Vacuum Tutorial
My first roommate had to ask me how to vacuum. Not how to use it, literally how to vacuum the floor. She’d never used one.
65. Stupidhead Is Not So Stupid
I witnessed some great creative punishment of a spoiled brat while was standing in line at a major supermarket. In front of me was a woman and a small girl (about 4), and in front of them was a young mother, with a small boy (about 3). The little boy asked his mother for a candy bar, and was told “No.” The little boy then asked for a candy bar again, and he was told “No” again. I was getting a headache so this was extra annoying.
So at this point, he decided to have a temper tantrum. He threw himself on the ground, cried, screamed, called his mother a “stupidhead,” amongst all of the classic tantrum behavior. So, his mother then whispered to the mother standing behind her and they smiled, all while this little boy was so upset about being denied a candy bar. I was confused—but then their devious plan was set into motion.
His mother then took a candy bar from the shelf and put it in her cart. The boy was happy upon witnessing this, and his tantrum stopped. The mother and son went through the checkout and paid. The mother then turned around and handed the candy bar to the little girl behind her in line. She looked directly at her son and said, “Children who behave are rewarded, and children who throw tantrums and embarrass their mothers get nothing.”
She turned around on her heel and walked away from the boy, who was left silent with his jaw gaping. A bunch of us broke out in applause. It was brilliant.
66. I Got a Golden Ticket
My classmate got three traffic tickets in two consecutive days. About $700 total, including fees and whatever. His response was disturbing. He just paid the fines without batting an eye and then cheerfully said it was a good lesson to learn. Pretty sure I was more appalled and upset about the whole thing than he was.
67. On a High (Income) Note
I have some very wealthy extended family. One of them recently purchased an $80,000 violin for their teenage son. I remarked that it seemed pretty excessive, especially because he had exactly zero plans on playing it after he was through with high school. Her only response was, “Well what else was I going to spend it on?”
68. Speaking Up
Went to see a local high school play set in WWII Germany, two rich teen girls with their fancy handbags etc sat the row in front of me. They spent the whole show talking quite loudly about how the actors were so bad etc, and at one point said: “this is why I go to private school, so I don’t have to sit through this all day.” But karma came for them quick.
As the intermission began and everyone was applauding the guy sitting next to me leaned forward and told them “if you shut up you might learn something.” The look on their face was priceless, and I didn’t hear a peep out of them for the rest of the play.
69. Dish It out
I worked at a Tim Hortons a long time ago, and there was a spoiled English girl that was briefly employed. Things weren’t too bad until she was instructed to wash dishes. She literally cried and I think she quit soon after. Apparently, her family paid people to do that back home.
70. Swipe Your Fears Away
A friend of mine was dating a super-wealthy girl in college. Not sure how they got together, it was some internship thing or something. He grew up pretty poor, and he told me a story about how they were at Wal-Mart and he was considering buying a pair of flip-flops, but they were like $10 and he wasn’t so sure it was something he could afford at the time.
Apparently, she said to him “What do you mean, you don’t know if you should get them? Whenever I want new clothes, I just ask my daddy for the money card.” She literally used the phrase “The Money Card,” as if it was some weird artifact that magically made all clothes free for her, which, I guess it kinda did.
71. Sold to the Highest Bidders
Mitch got everything he wanted. Granted, he was smart and ambitious, but was also petulant and snobby. The combination made him virtually hated by everyone. Our 3rd-grade class would get monopoly-esque money for an auction of toys at the end of the year. If you were bad, you had to pay money, but if you were a little sycophant, like Mitch, you were filthy rich.
At the end of the year, Mitch surveyed all the toys and calculated how many “brownie points” it would take to swipe all the best stuff. One by one, Mitch swiped the best toys, always bidding perfectly. At the end, Mitch had enough for the most coveted toy on the table: the Chia Pet. Brent had the second most money and timidly started the bidding.
Mitch toyed with him and gradually raised the price until Brent had to go all in. Mitch raised the bid by a small margin and then Susan, who almost had a nerf toy, gave her sizeable pile to Brent and Brent raised. Mitch panicked and counted his money for a higher bid, but it was already too late. All the people he had screwed suddenly turned the auction into a popularity contest and Brent delivered the final blow.
Mitch freaked the heck out and had the most satisfying meltdown. If he had just tried to get a few things, no one would have wanted to screw him, but by leaving so many people with so much worthless cash, he was truly hoisted by his own petard. Screw Mitch, lol.
72. Two Hundred Reasons Why
I once asked one of the directors of my company to spot me for lunch because I had forgotten my wallet. He handed me two $100 bills and was legitimately concerned it might not be enough.
73. At Least the Dog Didn’t Eat It
A classmate of mine decided one day that he hated doing his homework. So, his mom and dad did all of it for him, including writing his papers and doing his school projects from start to finish.
74. You Passed the Test With Flying Colors, Mom
One time I wouldn’t give my daughter a push on the swing because she was whining instead of asking. She knows we don’t listen to whining but her grandpa was there so she was testing me. When she figured out I really wasn’t going to do it, she grabbed the rope from the swing and flung the swing at me. It missed me, came back and smacked her right in the face.
I’m sure it hurt too because it was a board with a rope through the middle. Not that I’m happy that my kid was hurt over it but I taught her about karma that day.
75. Sounds Like A-Hole in One
The last time we hung out with my friends and their kid, we went mini-golfing. Each time one of us hit our ball, he would snatch it and throw it across the course. I wisened up to this and immediately went to pick up my ball for safekeeping right after I hit it. As I was picking it up, he tried to grab it out of my hand and fell over lightly.
He laid on the ground, pounding his fists and crying. His parents looked at me like I was the jerk. We ended up limiting our time with them as a result of the kid’s bad behavior.
76. The “Happiest” Place on Earth
When I was in high school, my family was pretty poor, and I had a fairly rich friend. My single dad spent years saving up for us to go to Disneyland. We finally went when I was 16. Fast forward a year, my friend is going to Disneyland for Halloween break. Her dad told her to invite two friends. So, she invited me and another girl.
I was freaking stoked. But she kept saying, “I don’t know, it’s probably going to be boring, my grandma takes me to Disneyland like every break.” And when we got there, all she wanted to do was sit on benches and text. All of the rides were “boring” and she’d already been on them dozens of times. It ended up being pretty boring for me because I didn’t want to go on the rides without her.
77. Bank of Dad
I occasionally hung out with a kid whose dad was super rich. He would just ask for money and get it. He tried to use an ATM and had no idea how to, so he asked me or someone else to get money for him. It was so confusing for him. Most simple tasks were incredibly difficult because he was raised not to lift a finger.
78. Too Big to See a Difference
I have an aunt and uncle who are both experienced aerospace engineers (retired officers, now higher-ups at private contractors), so they make an obscene amount of money. You can always tell how much they’ve lost touch with the value of a dollar when you look at presents that they’ve bought. One time they made a huge, offensive mistake.
They bought my aunt a $600 iPod and my mom a $20 t-shirt for christmas. Still, they didn’t mean any insult; they just thought my mom would like a shirt better and that my aunt would like an iPod better, and they didn’t even look at the prices of them.
79. I Want the Money
I work for a dentist, and her son is a spoiled brat. He was at the office one day because she had to bring him to an appointment later that day. He got bored and went out wandering around some of the local shops. He came back a little while later and without any preamble walked up to her and said, “Give me $80.” She asked him what it was for, and he just repeated himself…and she gave it to him!
80. Save It for Home
Went to a destination wedding in a Mexico resort. Rich kids rented a golf cart, tore through the streets and flipped the cart (injuring people and causing a huge commotion and traffic jam). A Mexican lady comes out and begins to scold them for their behavior. “You wouldn’t act this way at home!” I’ll never forget his earnest response: “I promise you we do.”
It was the earnestness of his reply that got me. He really believed that he was placating her with that response. There’s gotta be a German word for something being funny because the other party is aloof to their own behavior.
81. Side Chicks
When I was a poor college student my wealthy cousin and his wife went on vacation and offered to let me house sit to give me a break from my three slovenly roommates. They live a few towns over in a very nice house with a huge front lawn and a fancy, tall iron fence with double gates. The fence and gates are about 11 feet high. You have to have a remote to open the gates.
That first night I slept so well! I breakfasted like a king and then drove to school. I got back around five, made a supper fit for a king, and settled down to write an Econ paper. My cousin has a warning system for when someone driving turns off the road and comes up to the gate. There’s a chiming sound and you can look at screens in a couple of different rooms to see who it is so that you can buzz them in.
I was deep into my paper when I heard the chime. I was confused at first and check my phone before I realized what it was. I looked from the sofa and could see a movement on the security screen. I stood up and got closer. I’ll never forget what I saw. I had a clear view of two women getting out of a white car. One tried to squeeze between two bars of the gate—impossible—and then the other woman tried to boost her over the top of the gate—hilarious.
The top one fell and even from the house I could hear swearing. I was about to press the intercom button and ask WTF was their problem but I was chuckling at their antics and just watched silently. They peered at the house intently from between the bars for a while. The skinnier one actually stripped down to her bra and panties and tried to squeeze through the bars again. No dice. Butt and breasts were not allowing that to happen. More swearing.
Then, as the skinny one got dressed again, the bigger one went back to her trunk and got out a tire iron. As soon as she started with the hinges of the gate I was calling 9-1-1. The officers took too long and the women left. I showed the officers the video but they couldn’t get a license plate number. When my cousin and his wife returned the next week I told them what happened and we watched the tape. He said that he had no idea who the women were but his wife looked peeved. I packed up, thanked them for my “vacation” and left.
She divorced him that summer.
82. Would’ve Been Loaf to Deny Her
I worked at a very expensive and exclusive country club, the type you’d see the Bluths at. One of the members drove her golf cart over from her house. She said the help had forgotten to buy a loaf of bread, and she wanted to buy one from our kitchen. I told her that we couldn’t sell her a loaf of bread, so she asked how many sandwiches a loaf of bread can make. I ended up selling her 10 sandwiches with nothing on them at $7/piece.
83. Unreal Estate Problems
My brother works at a rehab center for the kids of wealthy parents. He’s always got stories, but the one that sticks with me the most was a kid who was in trouble with the law and doing rehab before his court appearances. You know, to look like a better person and hopefully the judge would go easier on him.
He was mopey one day and my brother asks him what’s wrong. The kid starts talking about how tough the whole experience has been for him, how it’s been so hard on his family that his parents had to sell his house to pay for his rehab. My brother felt sympathetic and says, “Dang, that sucks that your parents had to sell their house over this,” to which the rich kid corrected him, “No, they kept their house. They had to sell mine.”
84. Wrong Side of the Bed
A kid who used to work for me came in to work super cheesed off one day. I asked him what was wrong, to which he replied, “My freaking maid didn’t make my bed again, but my dad still won’t fire her!”
85. Ubers Are for Losers
I grew up dirt poor in a really terrible household. Many years later, I went to Stanford. The stuff I saw there was enough to write a freaking book. Absolute insanity every single day of the week. I’m talking people talking smack about how trashy Tiffany’s jewelry is. My buddy Kyle had a guest over to his apartment and his guest commented on how nice the furniture was.
As a gesture, Kyle gave his guest all of the furniture because “That’s what rich people do.” It was his roommate’s furniture. He refused to have it replaced. A girl I know purchased a $5k dress in Beverly Hills. Brought it back to her hotel room. Didn’t like the way it fit, left it in the hotel room for the maid. But this is the really good story: Same girl fell head over heels for a guy at a party, ogling him all night.
He was WAY out of her league. He starts chatting with her and a few minutes later it turns out that he’s actually just friends with someone at the party and was invited, he doesn’t go to Stanford, he goes to Berkeley. When she found out, her response made my blood run cold. She smacked him across the face like four times because how freaking dare he talk to her knowing that he goes to a state school.
86. Someone Needs to Go Back to School and It Ain’t Us
I work landscaping and was working at a lady’s house, planting a tree and spraying the grass with pesticide. When we were packing up the truck, I heard her say to her teenage son to do well in school or he’ll end up working like us. All but two of my coworkers on that job had at least bachelor’s degrees from major universities.
I’m working on a master’s degree in conservation management right now. You actually need to be pretty smart and well trained to apply chemicals around houses.
87. The Princesses and the Pauper
Two girls, both nice and fairly level-headed but also just raised too darn rich. One would take a taxi everywhere in town. It was a very safe, small college town with free campus buses, and she’d taxi across campus. She lived two blocks away from me and would take a taxi from her dorm to my house. Google Maps says it’s a full four-minute walk.
She swore she just had a terrible sense of direction and couldn’t figure out where we lived, but you’d think after the first embarrassingly short taxi ride, she’d throw our address into Google Maps and just walk. The other would regularly complain about people not knowing how to manage their money. It took a while to figure out, but eventually it clicked that she meant very poor people didn’t know how to invest their money in stocks and bonds.
88. International Fashion Crisis
My cousin’s best friend yelled at her dad and said that she hated him because he wouldn’t take her to London to buy a dress, even though the exact same dress was available from the exact same store back home. She needed the one from London because “they make things better over there.”
89. The Princess Diaries
I had a roommate for a while. He wasn’t the spoiled one. His girlfriend was the most entitled brat I’ve ever met in my life. She didn’t work because she claimed she had “health issues” and her parents paid for everything. Personally, I think her all-soda and fried food diet may have had something to do with her health issues.
I swear none of us ever saw her drink a glass of water. Anyways, she caused a car accident while texting, and her parents’ response was to buy her the same car. She then got in another accident (her fault again) and her parents bought her a slightly less nice (but still way nicer than anything I’ve owned) car.
She was a completely spoiled princess with no life skills, and my other roommates and I all hated her. The cherry on this sundae? She was 37 years old and acting like this. I just can’t imagine being that age and seeing nothing wrong with being completely dependent on my parents for everything. And crashing my car a million times.
90. Call It a Bad Harvest
Group of rich high school kids in Montana out driving around, drinking. Found two combines (large farm tractor thingies, worth about $250,000 each) out in a wheat field. Decided to have a demolition derby. Got caught. In the judge’s chambers with the farmer, who just wanted the damages reimbursed. The high-end family lawyers asked what the heck they were thinking when they did it. Their insane reply? “Well, you can’t put a price on a good time.”
91. To Be Fair, It’s Kind of Hard
I had to help a girl pay her tuition bill, she was upset because she genuinely thought the process of putting in credit card information was difficult. Yes, she took her dad’s credit card and paid $20k for the semester like it was buying a stick of gum.
92. Regan, Is That You?
I offered to help some friends out and watch their children for a short period. Their nanny had quit unexpectedly and they didn’t have a new one lined up. I found out why the nanny quit on day one. Dad was home, but worked nights, so I was in charge (5 am to 9 pm) and expected to keep the kids (3.5 and under 1) quiet, fed, clean, occupied, and perform some minor household chores.
This was for $100/wk because that was what they paid their previous live-in above her room and board and visa expenses. The one-year-old was the Easiest Baby Ever (TM). No fussing, no crying, happy all the time, easy to feed and get changed, loved baths. The 3.5-year-old, however, made me consider a tubal. And possibly an exorcism.
She had apparently never had the previous nannies tell her no, so she had been allowed to ride roughshod over them and the household pretty much since she was born. She told her mom I shut a cabinet door on her hand because I picked her up and removed her from the kitchen pantry where she was climbing shelves to get to the junk food.
She threatened to call “Dramma and Drampa” on me repeatedly until I handed her the phone to do it, then screamed and threw it at me because I wouldn’t dial it for her. Tried to kick me in the shins for serving nutritious meals and not just chips and cookies all day. Took a pair of scissors and threatened to cut the baby’s hair off and tell their parents I had done it.
When all the various intimidations didn’t work, she tried screaming to get her way. Twice, she woke her father up with an ear-piercing, bloodcurdling scream, then tearfully told him I was “beewing mean” and demanded I get fired. Dad pitched a fit, swatted her on the butt and went back to bed after telling me to do my freaking job and keep her quiet so he could sleep. But it gets worse.
All this was in the two weeks I covered them while the service got a new nanny. The new nanny quit after three days. According to what the little beast’s mom told me when she begged me to come back and nanny for them again, the girl had ruined their dining table the first day by fingerpainting on it with honey, chocolate syrup, pancake syrup, and Nesquik powder.
Day two, she dragged a bucket into the living room to “shampoo” the baby’s hair while the nanny was making lunch—and dumped the entire bucket, plus an entire bottle of baby shampoo, over the baby’s head. She nearly drowned the baby, ruined the living room carpet and shorted out the TV. Off to a great start her.
Day three, the nanny had put both kids down for their afternoon nap, and came in to find the elder girl standing over the baby’s crib with a pair of scissors, getting ready to stab the baby in the face. That was when she woke the father up, quit, packed her bags and walked out. Of course, they blamed all of this on the nanny’s lack of attentiveness and lax discipline.
In hindsight, I feel kind of bad for her…no boundaries, no attention, no mental stimulation. What do you expect?
93. We All Suffered
Back when the recession hit, one of my very best friend’s family was very distraught, because they had to sell one of their three private jets.
94. The Price of Love
My neighbor is this really down to earth guy who managed to work his way from nothing to being quite wealthy. A few years ago, he married this beautiful brunette that can safely be said to be on the upper scale of maintenance cost. She was given too much freedom when they redecorated their mansion, and ordered custom made stairs that cost about $100,000 USD.
Once she had them installed though, she noticed that they didn’t really match her choice in furniture, so she had a virtually identical set of stairs made that only differed from the last set by a few shades of white. How this guy puts up with her is beyond me.
95. You’re Ruining My Spray Tan
A girl I knew in college was the spoiled brat of divorced parents. Her stepmother couldn’t have kids and married the girl’s father when the girl was a toddler, so stepmom spoiled “her baby” rotten. There was the typical paying for her school expenses including college tuition and whatnot, but the summer before her junior year she decides she wants a car.
Her dad says no. She throws a tantrum. Her stepmom buys her a Lexus. This girl gets home from one of her regular spray tans and discovers the new Lexus in the driveway of the house she’s subletting for the summer is now hers. End of the story right? Not by a long shot. You see, the Lexus isn’t the one that she wants.
She throws a freaking monstrous tantrum on the front lawn because that’s not the car she wanted; she wanted a red car in some other model. Her parents are trying to calm her down and she’s cried so many tears, she’s ruined her spray tan. Her dad and stepmom take the car back. She continues to whine about not having a car, how she needs a car, that she’s a freaking adult who needs to drive to do anything fun.
Initially, we thought they took it away for her ungratefulness. A week later her dad calls; he just happened to be driving around and saw a car for sale in the make and model she wanted…only it was white. This garbage human has another meltdown, ruining her second spray tan she got to fix the first one. Why now? Because she felt left out of the finding and purchasing of her car because they were doing everything without her.
Her stepmom came up again and took her shopping for a car. It took the girl the entire weekend. Then, after her stepmom left, she had the gall to complain that they clearly didn’t love her because they just didn’t know what she wanted right off the bat. She was also 19 and dating a married doctor from the local hospital. I just blatantly avoided her after that summer.
96. Employee for a Day
I used to live near a very affluent area, and many of the most convenient grocery stores were just inside said area. A friend of mine was staying with us for a few weeks and would occasionally stop by said stores on her way home from work. One day, while she was at the self-checkout, a woman came up to her telling her to bag her groceries.
My friend politely told her she didn’t work there. The lady then insisted that my friend did indeed work there, and demanded she bag her groceries, citing the way she was dressed. For reference, at the time she was working as an intern at a local engineering firm so her outfit was professional, and not at all resembling the uniform of the store.
Eventually, this lady’s tantrum caught the attention of an actual employee, who then had to tell the woman SEVERAL times that my friend was not, in fact, an employee of the store. Then the woman said the most ridiculous thing of all time. “Well, she should have just bagged my groceries anyway.” And that is the story of how my best friend came the closest she’s ever been to literally choking someone.
97. Double the Displeasure
An old friend of mine and his family are loaded. They constantly get the newest car, most massive house, multiple out-of-country vacations a year first-class, and he’ll get the most expensive tickets possible for concerts. Plus, mommy and daddy would never say no. So when the iPhones/ and iPod touches were blowing up, he asked for a very specific color and GB for the iPod touch.
It was near Christmas and they were sold out EVERYWHERE. His mom was so disappointed that she went overboard with a ridiculous gesture. She paid a lady at the mall DOUBLE the price of the newest iPhone max GB while she was walking out so he could get something similar since she couldn’t find the exact make and model that he really wanted for Christmas.
Fast forward to Christmas Day. He opens the box—and his response was disgusting. He was so peeved it wasn’t what he wanted that he slammed it onto the floor, saying that it wasn’t what he asked for. It was DESTROYED. Then he called her a witch (but worse) and left to go to his room without opening the rest of his presents. Truly unbelievable.
The mom then had a breakdown and went to the mall again to ask for what he wanted for the next few weeks until yet again, someone had just bought one and she paid double to gift it for him again. That was the last time we ever spoke, and from what I hear, he has no job, still lives with mom and dad, no high school diploma, upgrades his Mercedes every year, and decided that he’s going to be a rapper or nothing at all.
98. With a Little Help From My Housekeeper
There was a kid at my high school. When he was 14, he had a learner’s permit, but his parents got him a Mercedes-Benz G-Class. Every day, he drove it to school and was determined to park it in the parking lot to show it off. So, he had his housekeeper drive to school with him and her son drove a car behind her to take her back home—which was only about 2 miles away from our school.
99. A Serious Effort at Discipline
My nephew (by marriage) is a jerk. I had to drive him once and he kept messing around with the windows, so I locked them. Then he started incessantly pushing my door lock buttons. So I stopped holding back toots and stopped opening the windows. And let me tell ya, this was during a phase in my life where my farts smelled like I might be suffering from some sort of colonic necrosis.
He gagged and sputtered and threatened to throw up. It didn’t matter. I just kept on going. In fact, at a certain point I thought I might poop my pants. I didn’t care. I was willing to do it just to make that little jerk suffer a bit. Take that, Evan.
100. You Probably Know What Evian Is Spelled Backwards
I worked at a private villa in Bali. One guest stood out because she only drank and bathed in Evian. So one day I spent almost an hour filling a large tub from tons of Evian bottles. The same young woman complained that the path from her villa gate to her room wasn’t well lit. This was probably because she wore sunglasses at night.