Breakups. Whether it was a quick fling gone horribly wrong or a long-term relationship that fizzled, there’s nothing quite like the mixture of heartbreak and regret that accompanies a breakup. Even worse than that? When the breakup somehow goes horribly wrong. Whether it’s a case of cheating, lies, awful fights, or overblown reactions to normal conflict, breakups can make up some of our most memorable and terrible experiences.
So, how can you mend a broken heart? Well, one surefire way is to vent about it on the internet. That’s what these Redditors did when they shared their stories of the worst breakups they ever experienced with the most despicable partners this side of a TV soap opera. So get out the popcorn and enjoy these tales of when love when utterly, horrifically wrong.
1. You Should Have Dropped the Girl Instead of the Class
Left her dorm room to go get to a canceled class. Decided to go back to her room to hear her having sex with another guy (she was very loud). I knocked on the door and she answered thinking someone was going to ask them to keep it down.
2. The Joke’s On You
I once commented on a social media post and made a joke, saying that I went back to a girl’s house to play Uno and talk about politics. Clearly just a harmless joke. Then one day, I get into an argument with my girlfriend and she screams out “AND I KNOW YOU WENT BACK TO THAT GIRL’S HOUSE TO PLAY UNO AND TALK ABOUT POLITICS!!” That moment was so ridiculous that we could never recover.
3. Can’t Get Much Worse
The moment I knew we had to break up was when he made fun of me for a failed suicide attempt to the girl he had a “love child” with—during our marriage—after 10 years of being gaslighted and abused. There’s more, but I really don’t care to relive any of it. I recently got remarried to my best friend.
4. Road Trip of Regret
My ex-wife cheated on me, lit my house on fire, took my daughter to Puerto Rico without telling me, abandoned her daughter, ran away to Barcelona and shacked up with a guy, came back and expected me to forgive her… That’s only the tip of the iceberg.
My boyfriend really looked up to Captain America, who always did the right thing and stuck to his morals. One day, he said that he wasn’t happy with me because I was not living up to Captain America’s standards of good behavior. That was it for me.
6. That’s Never a Good Sign…
When she came home from work one day and the first thing that popped into my mind was “Well, there went my day.” Just a normal day, no fight the night before, no stress, just my subconscious finally making himself heard.
7. Taking Some Initiative
The biggest moment I remember is the night of my sorority initiation ceremony. I didn’t have my phone for a few hours and in response to him not being able to get a hold of me he went and got two sleeve tattoos. They were done in his friend’s basement and they looked like it too.
8. Taking Things to the Next Level
When my mom called me and said that I needed to come to the house (30 minutes away) because she didn’t know how much longer my grandfather was going to make it. She insisted that I let my girlfriend at the time drive me because she didn’t want me driving upset, as I was very close with my pawpaw. Girlfriend agreed… I threw on some shoes and was ready to go. Girlfriend proceeded to get in the shower. And then blow dry and straighten her hair. And then do her makeup.
My mother called when we were 15 minutes away and told me that he’d passed. Had we left when we were supposed to, I would’ve gotten to say goodbye.
9. Unreal Real Estate
My ex-girlfriend, who was 25, never invited me into her place. We would always hang out at my place and I would drop her off at her place. She didn’t have a car either. I hung out with her and her roommate Ashley a couple of times at the bar. I never asked her why she didn’t invite me in, but I did think about it sometimes.
After we broke up, a girl my ex-girlfriend knew told me why. She said that it wasn’t my ex-girlfriend’s apartment, it was Ashely’s apartment and my ex-girlfriend just slept on the couch like a mooch.
10. Definitely Getting the Message Across
My ex’s friend took a Snapchat of my ex (while she was still my girlfriend) hooking up with a dude at a party and sent it to me.
11. Meet DefinitelyNotYourGirlfriend123
The moment that killed my relationship was when I discovered that my ex-girlfriend had secretly made a Reddit account without telling me, and started commenting on posts of mine asking how I felt about my girlfriend. Any relationship with that little trust and that much deception is in trouble.
12. Breaking the Golden Rule
When I stopped by her house on the way to work to drop off flowers on her doorstep as a surprise and saw my “friend’s” car parked out front. This was at 5 in the morning. My “friend” was married with a pregnant wife at the time.
13. Money is No Object
One of my exes was a stickler about money to the point it felt petty. Every time we went out to eat, even after dating for two years, he would flag down the waiter and say, “We need the check split in half. Evenly.” If we would spend $5 at the grocery store buying spaghetti and sauce, he would ask me to pay half.
Anyway, my 17-year-old cat was dying, and I was heartbroken. The day I said goodbye to her, my ex—then boyfriend—took me out for ice cream. We shared a $5 sundae at Dairy Queen. He paid! I was so happy and touched by the small gesture during the worst day of my life. But then in the car afterward, he asked me if we should “settle up now or… because, I mean… the sundae was $4.95 and I don’t think you gave me any money for it,” and I lost it.
I threw a $20 at him and cried. Listen, I don’t expect men to foot the bill all the time, and I definitely like to be fair, but buying your long-term girlfriend a $5 sundae when she’s absolutely distraught is not unreasonable. This was 8 years ago, and I’m since engaged to a wonderful and generous man! We share money wonderfully and I think I’m even more appreciative of him because of this particular ex.
14. What Happens in Vegas Doesn’t Always Stay There
I doubt I’ll ever get the truth on it, but my ex (we were together for six years, engaged for a year and a half) went on a work trip to Vegas, we were eight months away from our wedding, half of it was paid for (venue, videographer, photographer, flowers, and catering all had deposits, dress was bought and paid for)…
And when she got back from the trip she said: “I don’t love you anymore.” Kicked me out of the apartment and had a new guy move in three weeks later and got engaged to him a few months ago (about a year and a half after the split). Either she had been cheating for a while or thinking about it or both. Either way, it was the best thing that ever happened to me, while simultaneously being the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced.
I’m MUCH better off now and MUCH happier and healthier as well. I’m finally over it (almost two years later) and although she hurt me pretty freaking bad, I look back and realize that I hated myself (I was severely overweight) and wasn’t in any position to love someone the way they needed to be loved because I didn’t love myself.
Life will dump on you, and you can either wipe it off and learn from it, or sit and play in it and get used to the stench until no one wants to be around you. It’s your choice!
15. Stake Out for an Unfaithful Nurse
Had a suspicion that the wife was seeing someone else. She had been acting “off” for about a week. We would be sitting on the couch and she would get text messages claiming to be from a female friend, yet she would always set the phone face down. A few nights later she tells me that she is going to go cover a shift for a nurse co-worker who just had a miscarriage and that she would be working late.
That night I woke up out of a dead sleep with my heart racing, with just a feeling that something was wrong. I snuck over to her side of the bed, took her phone and went out into the living room to go through her text messages. Sure enough, she had detailed plans to meet up with some guy at a hotel to have sex.
I took photos of the texts with my phone as future evidence. I went back to bed, returned her phone and just laid there contemplating my next steps. I finally just laid awake for about four hours until it was time for me to get up for work. I knew they were planning on meeting in the afternoon at the hotel, so when I arrived at work I told my boss that I needed a half day and possibly a few days off afterward.
About an hour before their planned meetup time, I drove to my brother-in-law’s house. I let him know what was going on and asked to borrow his truck so that I could witness their arrival with my own eyes. He made me promise not to confront them. I showed up at the hotel parking lot and about 30 minutes later, they both arrive in his truck.
She was dressed in her work outfit. After they went in, I snuck around to his truck and deflated all his tires (not slashed because that’s a bigger crime). She had carefully planned to cover her tracks. She took our two kids to the babysitter dressed in her scrubs to appear like she is going to work. Then drove her car to the parking garage to have him pick her up there, knowing I might drive by her work to see if her car was there.
I left the hotel, went back home, piled every picture we had ever taken together along with photos of our kids on the kitchen table. I packed a bag for myself and the girls and drove down to my hometown to stay with some friends. On the way there, I called the hotel and asked to be connected to the room under her name.
She answered and I don’t remember exactly what I said, but something to the effect of “I know where you are and I know what you’re doing…” She wasn’t really phased until she heard our girls in the backseat laughing and signing. Then she broke down and begged me to come back. I told her we needed a few days away and that they deserve a better mother than her and hung up. She called me constantly and I just sent it straight to voicemail for the next few days.
16. Who Are You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Own Eyes?
Go to the gym, no headphones! That’s cool, the house is five minutes away. Pull up in front of my house and see work friend’s car out front. Walk in the house through the open garage. Son coloring at the kitchen table. Ask him “Hey bud, where’s your mom?” He points at the stairs. Walk to stairs to hear moans and movement.
Up to this point I had suspected the worst but never had proof. Knew I had to go look and catch her or she would say I was overreacting and tell me it wasn’t what I thought. Walk upstairs and hear them in the spare bedroom. Walk in the room and say “well this is awkward.” They freak out and try to grab clothes and tell me nothing is happening.
I walk out to my car and have ex-buddy chase me out and tell me to hit him. I go to my command (I’m in the military) the next day. Report him and have the command force him to call his wife that day and let her know. I am now divorced and much happier!
17. Frozen in Fear
My friend lived and went to school in Paris. We were out to dinner with a mutual friend, and both began talking about this guy they went to school with and both had dated. This guy had been dating this girl for a few months, but they broke it off because she got this really weird vibe their last few arguments. My friend agreed.
They both proceeded to tell stories, but this girl’s were way more messed up. The guy stalked her for weeks afterward, showing up near her apartment “coincidentally” and tipping her off that he was hot on her trail, asking her how certain events were, etc. One day she came to her apartment to find her knives had all gone missing.
She remembered she had given him a set of keys. A few days later, the knives were in the freezer. She changed her locks after that, fearing for her life. Shortly thereafter (a week or two had gone by), an old lady who lived downstairs was reported murdered. The cops had no leads and the girl was so creeped out she moved as soon as she could.
18. Way to Break the Relationship
I was on a “break” with my girlfriend at the time. Got a text from a girl that I had mutual friends with and we knew each other kind of well—started having dirty conversations, talking about sleeping together, etc. Turns out my girlfriend had gotten a burner phone with a different number and was the one sending me the texts the whole time. She was not pleased.
19. True Colors
I overheard my girlfriend telling a friend that she wasn’t really interested in me long term and just saw me as a familiar old friend to have some fun with for a bit. It was hard, but I couldn’t go on dating her after hearing that.
20. A Conversation Waiting to Be Discovered
I picked up his phone to change the channel on Chromecast. It unlocked and opened the Messenger app where he was making plans with my roommate to hook up while I was at work the next day.
21. Casper the Ghost
I dated a guy I worked with at a restaurant. He was a bartender and I was a server. We’d hooked up after a few months of heavy flirting. It was extremely casual (I thought) and only went on for a few weeks. Then, for reasons unknown but likely mundane (like he liked someone else, I believe) he decided to call it quits, but his method for doing this was to “ghost” me, as in to quit responding and otherwise acknowledging that I exist.
Now, that is doable when you communicate mostly by phone/email to get together, but WE WORKED TOGETHER, on the same shift! So this ghosting would result in bizarre instances where he would work service bar, I would ring up drinks for my tables, and he would stand there and act like I didn’t exist, standing there right in front of him and asking him to make the drinks I rang up, which he wouldn’t do because that would break the illusion that I didn’t exist.
This inexplicable behavior went on for weeks. Someone must have finally asked him why he was acting so weird, because after several weeks he finally sat me down and gave me this overly wordy apology about how he hoped I wasn’t too crushed and heartbroken, but he didn’t see us working out. I informed him that I was never heartbroken as our time together was never very serious.
He seemed let down at my lack of pining away for our lost love. Anyway, literally a week after that conversation, I met and started dating the man who would eventually be my husband. The girl the previous guy liked dated him briefly, then ghosted him (and quit too, so it was actual ghosting, not pretend) so he tried to revive our heavy flirting routine to no avail. It wasn’t the most psycho experience, but considering we were all grown adults in our late 20s at the time, it was just bizarre.
22. Get Your Head in the Game
We went out to lunch, she wasn’t even able to hold a conversation. I had to repeat myself multiple times because she was so enticed in whatever hilarious thing she was reading. Asked her what was so funny and she just kept saying nothing. As I was on my way to dropping her off at her place, her phone, sitting in the cupholder, started ringing.
The number wasn’t registered in her contacts. I went to answer it expecting a telemarketer or someone who simply had the wrong number with the intent of messing with them to have some fun. I went to grab the phone. She has never had a problem with me answering calls like that before, she even found it entertaining.
Anyway, she freaking attacked me, started screaming at me, and ripped the phone from my hand. We didn’t speak for the rest of the ride, needless to say, it was obvious what was going on. Shame. Turns out it was my only friend at the time. Lost two people I thought I could trust that day.
23. Pronoun Trouble
My moment of truth was when I told her I loved her for the umpteenth time, and she said, once again, “Who are you trying to convince—me or yourself?” This was from a woman with whom I was planning to marry. It just hurt me so much that she could think that way after all we’d been through. I never recovered emotionally from it and broke off our engagement some months later as a result.
24. A Not So Holly Jolly Christmas
My fiancé left me two days before Christmas. She told me she needed to move out for a bit and get space. That she was moving to her friend’s house. This went on for a week, until, because we have a family Apple plan, I looked up her location. And she was not at her friend’s house…I’m now a single dad of a one-year-old and she’s moving out West with him… Merry Christmas.
25. Gotta Go Fast
I broke up with her at her house, but she decided to follow/race me back to mine. As we were both driving, she sped past me going 20 MPH over the limit in the wrong lane trying to get to my place first. She almost got into a head-on collision with another car. We get back to my house. I’m trying to figure out how the heck to get rid of her without hurting herself/me/my property.
After she yells at me for an hour or so, cries, smacks herself, tells me not to do this, etc. she grabs a box of Nerds from the coffee table and hurls it at me. She missed me, but the box of Nerds exploded into my couch. She stormed off…and then basically harassed and stalked me for months. There are still Nerds in that couch.
26. A Love-Hate Relationship
My dad was recently caught cheating on my mom after 27 years. While using his laptop, my mom noticed that Facebook said: “Hello Mike Long, can we log you back in?” My sweet mom still had no idea he was cheating, until my teenage sister broke it to her that he’s using a fake account. That only opened a whole other world of nasty surprises. Love you dad, but I also hate you.
27. A Small Miscalculation
When he admitted, with a sigh of relief, that he had recently hooked up with my sorority sister while I was gone for work. Immediately, he hugged me and told me how much better he felt now and said he knew that we would grow stronger together from that point on. He was wrong. It was like one of those movie moments where the camera should have panned from his relieved smile during the embrace to my dead eyes.
28. Sometimes It’s Not Even a Secret!
I’m a live-in nanny and the parents are going through a particularly nasty divorce (mostly because she’s totally insane). Either way, she decided one day that she didn’t give a damn anymore, and started bringing this dude she’s been sleeping with over to the house, sometimes even while the Dad is home.
She says “they are just friends,” but I’ve caught them making out on several occasions. Which she portrays, of course, as that “he kissed her,” “she didn’t want it” blah blah blah. Really Amanda? Then why did I watch you go sit down on his lap and stick your tongue down his throat? She’s also encouraged the kids (while the Dad isn’t home) to call this new guy “daddy.”
Thankfully the Dad has finally realized just how crazy she is and is getting a divorce, but as this is all pretty recent, we haven’t found a new place yet. Thank God he’s going for full custody, and that the kids are still really young (and that I’m going with him and the kids). It terrifies me what those kids are going to have to deal with in their lives because she is their mom.
She is an incredibly selfish, narcissistic, piece of trash excuse for a human being, and I hope all this karma comes back to bite her on the behind really hard some day.
29. Conned Out of Love
My ex-girlfriend who I was still relatively good friends with swiped my debit card when we were hanging out one time. She then proceeded to wipe out my bank account. When I confronted her, she told me it was to help pay for an abortion because her current boyfriend got her pregnant. Anyways, I stopped hanging out with her and the last I heard she had joined the army and was kicked out a couple of years later due to addiction.
30. The Party’s Over
My relationship ended when I caught my then-girlfriend cheating at a party. I was visiting her from out of town and was having a pretty fun time. After a while, I told my girlfriend I needed to turn in, and she was like, “Yeah, go crash in my bedroom. The party’s basically over anyway.” So I got into bed and closed my eyes.
Then, I noticed that it had gotten really quiet in the living room. Like, no one was talking at all. That was a bit odd, so I got up and walked out…and my girlfriend was swapping saliva with some guy on the couch. They were so intent that they didn’t even see me standing there looking at them until I said “What the heck??” out loud.
I’ll never forget her jumping away from the guy and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, then saying “It’s not what you think.” Oh really? Then what, precisely, was it? Despite some dramatic attempts to keep me there, I took off and didn’t look back.
31. All-Natural Pettiness
Going to share a story on behalf of my manager. He had recently broken his foot when a car jack broke on him and the car came landing down. One of my co-workers decided to buy him a plant as a “get well” gift. His (now ex) girlfriend was convinced that that was my co-worker making a move, so she peed on the plant to kill it. Also tried to get pregnant by not taking her BC pills to trap him into a marriage.
32. Plot Twist
It happened to a friend of mine. We were all on vacation (about seven friends) and everybody was drinking. We were the only two who didn’t. He managed to snag his girlfriend’s phone while she was passed out and pulled me to the side. He said, “she’s cheating on me, some guy named Joey has been texting her and meeting her after work for sex every day.” We ended up searching for names and mutual friends via Facebook. Turned out Joey was a girl.
33. Acts of Dog
I asked my ex to please stop hurting my dog, which he had started to do for no apparent reason. He refused. He then accused me of hitting him out of the blue. I know I did not. He was “gaslighting” me, a specific form of abuse that is very mentally harmful. At first, I questioned if I actually did it and forgot. Then later, I figured out what was going on and knew I had to go as soon as I could afford to move to another place. I am now gone and happy.
34. Is the Excuse Any Better Than the Crime?
Found a condom clearly used for sex. He ended up blaming it on his mother, who didn’t live there. Happy to call that jerk an ex.
35. My Nightmare Wedding
My old roommate was the type of gal whose personal bookshelf was filled to the brim with wedding magazines and a few interesting titles included “making marriage work” and “Working through difficult relationships.” She often went out with her girlfriends to try on wedding rings and wedding dresses.
That’s all fine and dandy, but she wasn’t getting married. Didn’t even have a boyfriend. She BARRELED through hook-ups at a remarkable speed. I didn’t think much of it until she hooked up with a friend of mine. He informed me of the following: They started hanging out as friends, for about a week or so. Big surprise, they ended up having sex.
Just once. He told her straight up it didn’t mean anything, and he didn’t think they should continue. She came home to me crying, absolutely bawling her eyes out because she didn’t understand why he would “break it off so suddenly.” A few days go by and I guess she broke into his apartment, cleaned the entire place and cooked him food.
She waited at his apartment for several hours until he came home and said, I kid you not, “Hey honey, how was your day? I hope you don’t mind but I cleaned up the apartment and made us some dinner before bed.” I think he nearly pooped his pants.
I was dating a girl in college and didn’t think she was cheating. Another guy she was dating thought she was. He found my info on her phone and texts me about it. He wants to confront her. We both meet up at her place while she isn’t home. He’s a nice guy and we honestly got along pretty well for the half hour we talked before she arrived.
She saw us both as she drove up and the look on her face was pure shock. By the time she got out of her car she was crying, but didn’t say a word to us. We went into her apartment and her roommate acted as the mediator but it didn’t really get anywhere. Me and the other guy were pissed and wanted answers.
We weren’t getting any so we both gave her some choice words and rolled out.
37. Doubts Confirmed, I Guess…
When I said I was having doubts about the relationship, and he responded by trying to kill me. He literally started to run my car off the interstate. It seemed like reason enough to immediately end it and get a protection order.
38. Google Knows Everything
I signed into her Google Account to check her emails (She forgot her password so I had to reset it). I checked her Google Maps history and her most recent visits were at my best friend’s house while I was away for work.
39. Pawn Stars
When I was a senior in high school, I broke up with my boyfriend. He had recently given me an (ugly) “I love you” necklace. After we broke up he asked for it back. I was out of town and said I’d give it back to him when I got home. He started leaving rude voicemail messages on my phone, so I was like, screw you I’m not giving back the necklace.
So I told him I pawned it, and backlash ensued. More crazy phone calls. He had his crazy flavor of the week call me and cuss me out. Then HIS DAD started calling me and threatening me. Lots of crazy over an ugly fake gold necklace.
40. Scheduling Conflict
Had been with this chick for about one year. At our school summer camp, a guy from the class above me came up to me and straight up said: “Hey, I hear you’re so and so’s new boyfriend, I’m her ex and just wanted to say hello.” I didn’t really know what to make of the situation but for some reason, I just asked when they broke up, and he said: “Oh, like one month ago.” Needless to say, that relationship was over quickly.
41. Now or Never
After many months of romantic talks and walks, I said that if she gave me just a few years, I would have the money to get settled down and marry her. She then said that she didn’t want to have to wait that long. From that point on, it was all downhill. We went for coffee a few days later and she told me she didn’t think we were right for each other. I was devastated.
42. You Don’t Say?
He was basically living with me because we just had a baby, and he hadn’t been home for a couple of days. His best friend informed my best friend that he had no idea we were even together because he has been with this other girl for the past couple of nights on his friend’s couch.
43. The Real Ex-Files
He tried to convince me that while on a camping trip with his cousin, they came across a dead “bigfoot.” While poking the bigfoot with a stick, people in decon suits from the CIA came upon them and made them leave the woods because it was top secret info, blah blah blah. He then proceeded to tell me that the CIA began following him, and they recruited him to carry out hitman-type missions for them.
He wasn’t a teenager when he did this. He was 25. No, he is not schizophrenic. He is, however, a sociopath and a conspiracy theorist. When I dumped him, he stalked me and almost got me fired from my job. He would call my department non-stop and hang up if anyone but me answered the phone.
He’d drive around the parking lot and blow up my work phone and cell. He sent creepy letters to a guy I was seeing. He’d show up to a local bar I hung out at…. he lived 45 miles away and had no friends in my town.
44. Second Time’s the Charm
He rang my friend, who I happened to be with at the time, to tell her he’d been sleeping with his ex and asked what should he do. Her not knowing what to do, she put him on speaker and asked him to repeat. Then the yelling started.
45. Alcoholics Identified
My wife always had a drinking problem but I tried to not judge and just live with it. Until one day when I came home from work to find my daughter saying she couldn’t wake up mommy. After ten minutes of trying to wake her up and finding an empty bottle underneath the couch, I realized that I can’t be with a person like this and neither should my daughter. I have recently started the divorce process. It’s going to be messy, but it’s worth it to make sure my daughter won’t be traumatized like that anymore. Wish me luck.
My ex, many moons ago, was an idiot. She KNEW that I had many friends that lived in the same neighborhood as her ex that she had left a couple of months before dating me. She always told me she was going over to a female friend’s house to study, and I had no reason not to believe her. Til one day she wouldn’t answer a single text.
Now I’m not the kind of guy to text a billion times. I’ll text you, then if you don’t reply, MAAAYYBE I’ll text you 2-3 hours later to make sure you got my last message, and if you still don’t answer, then, “Meh”, I’ll talk to you when you feel like you want to talk. So anyway, I’m at my friend’s house later that night having not gotten a reply from her since maybe 12 hours ago.
Me and the group of friends decide to go outside in his backyard to make a pit fire, when I notice her car in the driveway of the house behind us. I didn’t know it was her ex’s house but it was the waaaaaay wrong neighborhood for her girlfriend’s house. I call her sister up and say “Where is your sister,” and she says “Oh, she’s at [the girl’s house].”
“Well, I’m going nuts then because I’m looking at her car right now and this isn’t her friend’s neighborhood.” Her response to that was “Uh…” So I hang up and ask my friend who lives in the house we were all hanging out at, who owns the house behind him. “Oh that’s [her ex-boyfriend’s name]’s house.” I called her phone to find it was off.
So I just chilled the rest of my time there, and paid it no more attention, no sense in worrying at this point—it’s a done deal. About two hours later I get a call from her saying the phone was on silent for “Study purposes” and asking if I wanted to come over. “Sure,” I told her. I arrive at the house a little bit after and she hops in the car.
As soon as she shuts the door I ask “How was studying with your friend?” and she gives me some BS answer as if I didn’t know she wasn’t there. After she’s done spewing her lie I say “Weird. Must have been a long walk from [ex-boyfriend’s] house.” I made sure to look at her face as I said it so that I could see any expression.
She knew I knew but wouldn’t let it go. It will go quicker if I just give you the dialogue: “We were just talking things out” “Why would it be ok to just go over there to do that if you have a boyfriend? Talk things out? What needs to be talked out?” “We’ve been friends for a very long time before dating. I can’t just stop talking to him.”
“So to get around that, you feel it’s logical to lie to me about going to a friend’s house? It’s 11pm, “you’ve been talking it out” since 10am. I’ve tried getting a hold of you a couple of times too. Silence for a bit… So what did you guys do?” She wouldn’t answer or look at me. I told her to get out of the car and just pulled off.
She broke up with him the first time because he was physically abusive and seemed to not really want to do anything with his life. About a year after I drove off she calls me asking if we could try to make it work again and if I’d like to get together over dinner. So I said “yes” and arranged a date at a fairly upscale place for Saturday at 8 pm.
Told her the dress code and all, since it was a snazzy joint. I’m not sure how long she sat there, because I. Didn’t. Go.
An ex of mine once wouldn’t stop tickling me and when I asked why, she said, “I’m trying to get you to punch me!” It wasn’t her kink or anything apparently? She just wanted to see how far she would have to push me before I snapped, and was really disappointed to discover I would never hit her. We broke up that night.
48. Life Lesson: Power Trips Always Lead to Writing on Whiteboards
I stopped by his house to surprise him. His bedroom window was open and she was very loud. I tried the front door and it wasn’t locked so I let his dogs in the house (because it would piss him off) and sat on the couch for a few minutes thinking about how much power I had. How I could burst in and do anything. I just wrote goodbye on his whiteboard and left.
49. Telephone Tag
My moment was when I realized the hypocrisy and double standard in how he expected and demanded that I had to be available at any and all times to receive his calls whenever he felt like calling, even at 2 in the morning. I also had to answer within the first two rings or he would start hurling insults and abuses.
I used to sleep with the phone tightly clutched in my hands so that I could know if he was calling and pick up. If I told him I was with my mom, he would make me put her on the phone so he could make sure it was her. Meanwhile, he never picked up when I called him and would only call when he felt like it—sometimes days or even weeks apart. I finally realized that this wasn’t fair or right.
50. Wrong Place, Wrong Time
I was at a party with a group of friends. I was standing behind my best friend talking in a group when my friend all of the sudden gets a text. I look at his phone and it’s my girlfriend’s full name and her asking when he is going to be over. She was supposed to be out of town at her mom’s house.
51. Scarface Is Less Cool IRL
My craziest ex became a pretty big drug dealer while we were together. He really loved it too. Like this guy grew up watching gangster films and genuinely got off on the idea of the adrenaline rush of being constantly paranoid, avoiding cops, and the bouts of violence. It all happened so fast that I didn’t realize how crazy everything was until I hear myself say it aloud.
He had guns everywhere, carried them all the time. He would completely lose his mind when he was angry. He kicked a guy in the face for harassing me and successfully scared everyone we knew. Nobody would look at me a second too long after that. I couldn’t do anything without him knowing about it.
If I left his apartment after an argument he’d drive all over looking for me during which time he’d go from screaming profanities to crying and begging forgiveness from the street, from his car, over the phone. He also had PTSD, which enhanced paranoia over everything. If you can imagine waking up to your loved one facing the door with a gun in his hand ready to kill the next person that knocked, welcome to my life.
I was astonishingly calm throughout it all. I guess I forgave most of it over the PTSD, which I really wanted to help him get past. He didn’t sell drugs in the beginning. It was the bulk of why we broke up. He was actually really great at first. We really loved each other. Last I heard he was living the dream and getting into serious trouble.
52. Holden Would Be Proud
My best friend lived in the family’s old vacation trailer behind his house (back in the 90s). I arrived with a twelve-pack, opened the door and there was my girlfriend. She was standing full frontal (not a stitch on) and he was in his boxers. Later he told me “Nothing happened.” JD Salinger had a term for that kind of guy, it was… PHONY.
53. If That’s a Minor One, I’d Hate to See a Major One
The second time we had ever gotten into a minor argument, she reacted by cutting herself and throwing a tantrum. It was so bad that I actually ran and locked myself in the closet. I knew instantly that this could not continue.
54. If He Can Make It There, He Can Make It Anywhere
He went to NYC on a business trip and his phone was constantly going straight to voicemail whenever I called. When I finally got in touch with him he said that he was having a hard time getting a signal… in midtown Manhattan. So I called his office and asked for him and they were totally confused. It turns out he was in another state visiting someone he met on the internet.
55. I’m Your Number 1 Fan
Dated a girl for 3 weeks. Near the end of that third week, she invites me back to her place and I discover she’s made a shrine just for me… it looked like I had died, and she never got over my death. Trying to remember now, there was a picture within a picture frame with her photoshopped into it badly, several used napkins from our dates, and a bag of 2-week-old popcorn I didn’t get to finish from our first date… so yeah.
56. Love is Not a Game
I’d finished doing the dailies on my WoW character, and I knew he wasn’t going to be home for a while so like many times before (with his permission) I logged into his account to do dailies for him. Then the PMs started. Very explicit PMs. Not only was he cheating on me in a game (with loads of people, cybersex in WoW, eugh), but there was one girl who was talking about things outside the game too.
I admit I played along for a while to see what was going on. After that, I told her who I was. It all ended rather badly, between her and I, him and I, and him and her.
57. It’s Not What You Know, It’s Who You Know
My moment was when he fell asleep next to me, and a text message arrived on his phone. Curious, I look and see who it is from. The contact was named “Babe❤.” I’m horrified. It must be a joke. I read some texts to see the things they were saying. I found a message of her saying, “You make me the happiest girl in the world.” Unbelievable. That’s a big no for me, goodbye!
58. She Can’t Keep a Secret
She kept telling me how she wasn’t happy with us being apart at different colleges and how she met these really nice people. Turns out one of them had a thing for her and they made out one day. She broke down and told me immediately. She wanted to keep hanging out with him and I was obviously not okay with that.
I visited her to patch things up. Dumb of me to try to salvage it in hindsight. Not long after, she meets another guy in one of her classes who happens to be friends with some of her other friends. I immediately got a bad vibe but I just told myself I was being paranoid and she said nothing would happen.
Yeah, apparently they hit it off a little too well. Long story short she tells me about this one too after I kept asking. I ended up trying to patch things up again. Screw everything about how that relationship ended. Actually, in hindsight, if my relationship hadn’t ended so poorly, I wouldn’t have met some of the fantastic people in my life today.
Now that I think about it, I actually haven’t had any contact with her since the breakup.
59. On the Road Again
Years ago, had a GF I was dating for a few months, had to break it off. I go for coffee to give her the news and 4 hours later she’s trying to throw herself out of my car at 80 KPH. We went from coffee shop to parking lot where she cried more, then I started driving, pulled over again, so she could wail more. I felt like Kramer in that Seinfeld episode.
It just went on and on. Then came the suicide threats…”I’m gonna kill myself without you” “Screw this life!” Finally, I called her friend and told her to come pick her up. I start driving her to the pickup spot, and she’s screaming and I’m driving, all of a sudden, she pulls off her seatbelt and opens the door. So now I’m driving with one hand and holding her in with the other.
I had to scream to a stop in the middle of the road while she ran through a ravine. Saw her friend, told her what happened, and her response was maybe you should let her cool off…. yeah really, Sherlock?
60. Rough Ending
She was acting weird and then accidentally left a note to our roommate who she had just cheated on me with. She admitted it when I confronted her, and then I became homeless.
61. Set for Life
One of the moments that made me realize my first boyfriend was a dud was when I asked him why he never looked around before crossing the street. He said he was hoping he would get hit by a car someday, so he could just sue the driver and be set for life. I asked how he planned to do that with his body mangled. He said he was sure he could manage to roll over and look at the license plate. Real winner, that one.
62. It’s the Thought That Counts
20 or some odd years ago I caught my ex, not actually having sex, but in bed with another guy. On Valentine’s Day. With a dozen roses in my hand. What a horrible person. Fighting would get you kicked out of college, so I told the much smaller guy that as soon I saw him off campus someday, I’d kill him.
15 years and worlds later, I’m at an engagement party at a bar, and some friends come up and tell me the guy over there is extremely scared of me and thinks I’m going to kill him. I look over and couldn’t stop laughing. It was so far in the past, but for some reason, that guy remembered it like I had sworn an oath to avenge my family. It felt good. His fear was redemption enough.
63. Distress Rehearsal
She faked her own overdose when I tried to break up with her. After she made hints that she would do something, she hung up the phone and wouldn’t answer my calls. Fast forward 2 hours later, I kick in her door because she wouldn’t answer the door either, to walk in to her laying on the couch with a picture of us and pills all over.
After shaking her and starting to call police, she turned to me and said, “I knew you loved me.” That’s when I realized she was truly crazy. Oh, young love…sigh.
64. That Escalated Quickly…
I caught my ex when we were both standing in the examining room, getting his “UTI treatment.” Doc came in and said gonorrhea. He lied for a whole 2-3 months I imagine. Even lied about how he got it, tried convincing me he accidentally swiped his genitals in some mystery fluids in a gas station toilet (what in the world…).
When he realized I wasn’t that stupid, he tried to drink random bottles on the doctor’s shelf. He started hitting himself. He fell on his knees sobbing and tried grabbing my hands and begging for me not to leave. He threatened murder-suicide that entire night, and assaulted me for close to nine hours when I was trying to pack my bags to leave.
He choked me in the driveway. I just spoke at his sentencing this Thursday. He is a convicted felon now. I hope he’s grown from this.
65. Daily Routine
Every night, my boyfriend would come home drunk, demand physical attention, and go to sleep until work the next morning. I cannot say that there were no good days in the relationship. There were some better days than others. But things overall were miserable and unhealthy. He would hit me, use cuss words, and throw my things away.
He even once asked me to leave in the middle of the night. The moment I decided to leave the relationship was when it hit me that this daily cycle would probably never change.
66. Did He Get an A+?
I caught my boyfriend of two years. He had asked me to proofread his paper on his Mac and the text messenger popped up in the right hand. He was sitting in his bed texting some girl “goodnight, I love you” while sitting right next to me in his bed. I deleted his entire paper, wrote “Who’s Marissa?” saved it and told him it looks great and left. She was his girlfriend of eight years who lived next to his parents two hours away.
67. There’s a Snake in My Boot
Was dating a guy who was pretty abusive. Had enough one day and kicked him out. His car was gone. A few hours later, I was expecting my mother. I thought I had heard her truck pull up, so I came downstairs, opened the door, and there was a freaking cottonmouth snake ripped in half on my welcome mat.
I screamed and slammed the door, and immediately re-opened the door to find the snake no longer there…I questioned my sanity about seeing the snake, how it got there, and how it disappeared so fast…but he told me later that day that it was his plan all along.
68. What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas
We got married way too quick. It was Vegas where she was from. Came back to NY where I worked and she did nothing at all. She left around X-mas to see family in Vegas. Came back like three weeks later. Then a month later just after she interviewed for a job she told me she was leaving again to go to Virginia to help her worthless aunt move back to Vegas.
She gets there and blows $500 in two days then calls me to ask for money to put gas in her aunt’s car. I said hell no and she didn’t talk to me for two days. I finally tell her this isn’t working. We get a quick Vegas divorce and she is remarried six months later.
69. Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are!
I took a trip to my boyfriend’s hometown, hoping it would be a nice surprise that he would appreciate. The guy refused to come out of his room even though I was standing right outside his place and I knew he was inside. I was calling him continuously. Finally, he picked up and said he was not going to hang out with me.
I could not stop crying. I kept asking him why. He said “It’s not you, it’s me” and would not elaborate any more. Throughout the night, I kept on calling him for an explanation. He would not pick up. I was in a hotel right next to his residence. That whole night, he neither took my calls nor even asked if I made it back to my hotel safely.
So that moment marked the end of our relationship. To this day, I have no idea what happened to cause that. I have had no closure whatsoever.
70. When the True Colors Came Out
He became a totally different person after we got married. He became very controlling and manipulative. I was expected to do all the chores and make dinner every night (this after working a highly stressful 40 hour/week job). He became emotionally and verbally abusive to me. Constantly thought I was cheating on him.
If I had anything other than a smile on my face at all times I was ridiculed. Everything that happened was always my fault. He was never wrong. He was always the victim. I didn’t want to go home because I didn’t know if I was walking into Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. Had him go to two different counselors and didn’t make it more than two sessions with each because he didn’t need therapy.
I decided to stop it all when I started to become depressed from the constant stress. I am a normally very happy positive person and I became a walking bunch of nerves. I couldn’t get past the belief that anyone who truly loved me would never treat me like he had been. Have been divorced for six months now.
Although I get lonely sometimes, I would still take loneliness a thousand times over being back with him.
71. Hardly a Wholesome Breakfast
Broke up. Two years and one move later, I look up from my bowl of cereal on my birthday and she is staring at me through the screen door crying.
72. In Hot Water
She threw a pot of boiling water at me. It was thrown over our five-year-old son. She threw it at me because I was paying more attention to my son than her, I had just gotten home from work and he asked me to play the Nintendo with him.
73. Ask Me Anything
My girlfriend trusted me so little that she once started a Reddit thread titled “Who has cheated on their boyfriend or girlfriend??” Was she waiting for me to say “Meeeeeee!” or something? I could never get past that and it ended our relationship. Every time I think about it, it makes me cringe.
74. Getting Your Priorities in Order
He had a kid that lived in another state that he only saw a few times a year. On 4/20 one year, he decided to stay for our city’s 4/20 festival instead of going home for his child’s birthday. Quote—”Little Man will understand. It’s 2 Chainz.” Didn’t stay with him much longer after that.
75. Plot Twist
I feel ashamed sharing this, but I was the crazy ex. Have borderline personality disorder, boyfriend swore he’d love me no matter what and stand by me when things got hard. He left. I reacted by threatening to hurt myself bad enough to end up in the hospital if he didn’t come back to make him feel as grim as I did. Not proud at all. Someone’s gotta be the “crazy ex” though, I guess.
76. Lacking Some Empathy
When my best friend passed away, 2 days later I decided to finally step outside the house. Went to spend time with my girlfriend and a friend. When her and I were alone, she turns around in the car and says these exact words: “You shouldn’t be sad, you’re out with us right now. You’re bringing the mood down.”
That night I decided to end things. She then played the victim card and pretends nothing happened between us. This was just last summer. I’m a lot happier now.
77. Man of Mystery
I dated a boy (27), because he was not a man by any means, for a little over 3 weeks. When I say dated, I mean we met, went out, and had intimate relations. Never officially dated. Some of the weird/crazy things about him: He had been engaged 3 times prior but didn’t tell me this. I’m 99.9% sure he was unemployed, but he told me he had a job.
Yet he never went to it… or talked about… and nobody at the company knew who I was talking to when I called. He gave me a set of rules to follow, including that I needed to spend time with him 4-5 times a week at least. After learning all of this, I became severely wary and told him we shouldn’t continue dating.
He became furious and claimed that it was my fault. Being the manipulative jerk that he was, I started to feel bad for bailing so quickly, however, the following week he was seeing someone seriously so I’m pretty sure I dodged a bullet with that one.
78. Only One of Us Here Matters, Clearly
When I told him I had just found out my mom was leaving my dad for someone else, and he started complaining about his day at work.
79. In for a Penny, In for a Pound
I went out with a woman for about eight months. She was attractive, extremely smart and pretty funny—qualities I really like in a woman. However, she had one quality that increasingly turned me off: not only was she cheap, but she monitored how much I spent on her and derived how much I cared by how much I spent.
This all in spite of the fact that her family was so rich, they owned more than one private jet. The breaking point was when we went to see a movie one day and I asked her to put two dollars in a meter for me while I parked the car. The next day, I got an angry text from her demanding that I reimburse her for the two dollars.
I finally decided enough was enough and that I didn’t want to put up with this any longer.
80. Lies, Lies, and More Lies
When she told me she needed a few weeks to herself to “figure things out.” What she was actually doing was planning her wedding to a guy she met at work.
81. Fast and Furious
My ex-husband started taking shots of Patrón, after popping a handful of Percocet, while we were out to dinner with our children to celebrate his birthday. During the “celebration,” he had his phone up his butt, and had been texting his brother the entire evening. On our way home, with me at the helm of the vehicle, he decided it was a brilliant idea to throw his phone out the window at a stop sign.
I put the car in park, exited the vehicle, retrieved his phone, and when I returned to the car I put his phone behind me, so he wouldn’t do it again. You would’ve thought that I had shot his mother. He began trying to turn off the car, started hitting the steering column, was screaming at the top of his lungs. It was… manic.
When we got home, he jumped out of the car, sans phone, and I told the children to stay put. I popped it in reverse and started moving down the driveway. That guy came hauling down the driveway like a banshee and jumped on the running board, face melted into a frightening state of rage, and tried to BEAT OUT THE DRIVER’S WINDOW of my car.
At this point, my children were in the back seat screaming and crying, and there was no way I was going to let them witness their mother get beat to a bloody pulp, so I threw the car in gear and hit the accelerator. He flew off the truck and I took off and didn’t stop until I got to my mom’s. He canceled both my phone and his, since I still had it.
Turns out he had been texting his brother about going out for his birthday and “picking up chicks.” You know. Since I wasn’t going to put out. He called the police and told them I tried to run him over and asked them to do a welfare check on the kids at my mom’s. The police talked to the kids and saw the obvious marks on my window from his face and fists, and knew his story was trash.
I left that day with the clothes on our backs. The kids were subjected to so much after I left, and I finally had it made to where they never have to visit with him without supervision again. It’s that bad. I’m now remarried to a much, much better man. He’s a much better role model for the kids.
82. A Sign of Things to Come
When I overheard her conversation with her coworker wherein they were talking about her co-worker’s desire for children while her husband wanted to wait. My ex gave the advice, “If I were in your shoes, I’d just stop taking my birth control and not tell him.” I got the hell out of dodge fast!
83. Put it Off
When I told him that I didn’t have the money for a wedding right now and we needed to push it back a year. He said, “Well if we don’t have it now, we’ll never have it.” I suggested we just go to the justice of the peace, and he said, “No, I want a real wedding.” He and his family didn’t have the money to even help…so he expected me to pay for my own wedding by myself.
He had some friends over a few days later, and I was having a call with my bridesmaids, and I overheard him say, “Oh, I stay out of all that stuff…the wedding is for her, you know.” It was the first time that I had ever heard him outright lie to someone about something so trivial and dumb. I broke off the engagement the next day after I told him we need to postpone, because I’m not trying to go into debt for a day and he still said no.
He finally confessed that he wanted to get married because he wanted something in his life that was secure. I was like…and what was I going to get? A bag of problems is what. I am so thankful for my wandering ears overhearing him talk to his friends.
84. Sometimes, You Really Are Better Off Alone
When he left. I was in an abusive relationship and didn’t know it, my mom supported him. He plays the victim to everyone now saying I was abusive. He would pour drinks on my head when I made him mad or he would slap me, along with more.
85. Now the Only Thing I’m Sick of Is You
When I was 21, I started dating this guy who was about 30. I was one of those girls who insisted I needed to date older guys because I was sooo mature. Never mind the fact that he lived with his hoarder mother, had no job, no car, but plenty of “I’m so much better than everyone” attitude. He was basically emotionally a teenager, and just a bad guy.
He’d insult me constantly, publicly make fun of my appearance. He couldn’t take no for an answer. He wanted to hang out EVERY DAY, when I was exhausted from ten-hour shifts at work. One time when I was sick, I told him I couldn’t pick him up that day. He insisted on it because he “wants to take care of me.” Whatever.
I agreed, drove the thirty minutes to pick him up, and back. He spent the whole day just complaining, “I’m bored.” “Why won’t you talk more?” “Don’t you appreciate me coming over?” “Why do you want to SLEEP? Spend time with me. I didn’t HAVE to do this.” etc. He was insanely jealous and suspicious.
My yard at the apartment I lived in sloped down from the road, and the wind always blew down trash people threw out of their cars, including a cigarette butt in the driveway, and he saw it and accused me of cheating because it wasn’t his brand. Finally broke up with him. He stole and broke my iPod. He texted me nearly a year later to inform me that he was getting married to the perfect woman and was so much happier.
Then six months after that, to inform me that she cheated on him and they split up. He wanted a hookup, I declined. He claimed he had nudes of me from when we dated and threatened me with them. I told him he was pathetic. He’s sporadically texted me since then, but I never reply anymore. Maybe my nudes are out there somewhere, but whatever.
86. A Reason to Be Steaming Mad
Not me but my best friend. She was in a long distance relationship for a few years. They played a lot of Steam games together. At one point, she gave him her card info so he could buy himself a game on Christmas, on the condition that he would delete the card info after. He did not delete the payment info, and his computer got hacked.
She got a few large charges and reported it to her bank. Then she noticed smaller charges on her bank statement here and there from the past few months, all from Steam. Her boyfriend assured her it wasn’t him, so she reported those charges as well. What do you know—all of a sudden he got a vac ban from Steam for fraudulent charges.
He starts claiming she had given him her card info again for a different purchase, and that she just forgot. He really wants the vac ban lifted because he plays a lot of Dota, and can’t play multiplayer with the vac ban. And it gets worse. A few days later, her grandfather gets very sick very quickly. They were close, so she’s obviously devastated.
She went to visit him in the hospital, and mid-conversation, he had a massive stroke. She and her family were basically shoved out of the room so the doctors could work. A doctor tells them he may be brain dead, but they have to wait and see. My friend is distraught and calls her boyfriend while waiting. She explains what happens.
This jerk says, “That really sucks. Also can you make sure to call your bank so we can get that vac ban lifted?” She hung up on him and didn’t speak to him again for a year.
87. She Stole My Heart and My Home Décor
Here is one of my most recent experiences. I dated a woman for around two months and finally realized that things were just not going to work out. We sat calmly at my table and broke up, amicably, I thought. I went to put the kids to bed and tell them a bedtime story. I ended up falling asleep while telling the story.
When I woke up, my laptop was gone, my extremely nice winter coat, my cast iron pots and pans, pictures I had taken while overseas. I was shocked and hurt. Thankfully I still had a cheap pan left and decided to make myself a late steak dinner. Oh. Whoops. She took my steaks.
88. The Truth Doesn’t Come Out
When we were having the “Should we stay together and work it out or go our separate ways?” discussion and he said he didn’t want me to go. I asked him why. His answer was a full minute of silence staring at the table, completely at a loss for what to say. He couldn’t come up with any reason why he wanted me to stay. That silence said more than a million words ever could.
89. Strange Bedfellows
The moment I realized it was time to end my relationship was when my phone rang from a number with my girlfriend’s area code, and the voice on the other side said “who do you think you are texting my girlfriend like that?” Turns out, she had been secretly dating another guy for four months while I thought she was home recovering from heart surgery at her parent’s house.
We had been dating for four years. Both the other dude and I dumped her after a lengthy conversation. He seemed like a cool guy. I’d buy him a beer if I ever saw him.
90. Bull in a China Shop
Summarizing: he was the kind that never apologized and bought people with expensive gifts every time he’d mess up. When he did that to me, I broke up with him and refused to take his gifts. He was very confused and kept asking why I wouldn’t go back to him, since he bought me so much good stuff—and didn’t understand even after I lectured him, becoming increasingly angry with my (friendly!) refusals.
Then he threw the things against the wall and rammed his head through the window. Broken glass and blood everywhere. I called an ambulance and his family, and after that I noped out of the relationship for good. Nowadays he’s married, but our mutual friends say he’s still in love with me (and doesn’t hide it from the wife)… he asks them questions and tries to set up “accidental” encounters. I asked them not to share information about me with him anymore.
91. Truly Insensitive
When she made jokes about me “faking” my depression. My dad has severe depression (he gets help and takes meds for it) and his brother had it until he killed himself.
92. I Won’t Back Down
The one moment in my last relationship that stands out to me as the moment that finally pushed me over the edge is very clear. We were kissing in the parking lot of my college, when a truck filled with frat bro type guys went past and yelled stuff at us. Not anything profane or vulgar, mostly just laughing and good-humored stuff.
I kind of brushed it off and wanted to stop kissing and move somewhere less public, but my boyfriend flipped out and yelled angrily back at them. I, of course, knew that yelling angrily at a car full of rowdy young adults is only going to unnecessarily escalate the situation, so I tried to calm him down.
The truck just kept circling around and, for whatever reason, he just refused to go inside the car and insisted we continue what we were doing. It ended up escalating to the point where he threatened to pull a gun on them. And that was it for our relationship. I decided I wasn’t going to chop my life off at the knees because some idiot decided to shoot some unarmed teenagers at a college, potentially even implicating me in the case as an accomplice.
I’d been considering breaking up with him for a bunch of reasons even before, but that one incident turned out to be the final straw.
93. Running Late
He didn’t turn up to my brother’s deathbed when he said he would. His exact words were ‘I’ll get a shower and be there soon.” He then ignored my phone calls for hours and didn’t show up. He didn’t go to his wake or funeral, the very least he could have done. This was after eight years together and now even the worst day of my family’s life has been tainted in my head by a selfish pig of a man.
94. Keep It to Yourself
She wasn’t a very social person and didn’t get along with people. I took her to a Thanksgiving family gathering and at one point a little cousin of mine walked passed her and she mentioned out loud that she hates that little girl and how annoying she is IN FRONT OF THAT LITTLE GIRL’S SISTER WHO IS SITTING RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF HER!
She was just very rude and had no social awareness. Sorry, family comes first and even though I don’t like some people I don’t say it in front of everybody and be rude about it.
95. A Toy Story
So get this… I dated a guy in my late high school years who was very reserved and very handsome. The first seven or eight months were unreal, I was so happy, and things were going great. Soon thereafter, he and I decided to tell each other our deepest darkest secrets. (10/10 do not recommend) He told me that when he was young, he used to cut holes in his stuffed animals and would have intimate relations with them.
I had no idea what to think, but I honestly didn’t feel like it was the worst thing someone could do, so I just let it reside in the back of my mind. For unrelated reasons things got a little rocky in the months after. He became so jealous and overprotective. He would come up to my work and watch me for hours, he would drive me to and from wherever I needed no matter what, he would also get so upset when I spent any time away from him.
When I did get the opportunity to hang out with friends, he would always buy me flowers or pillow pets and leave them on my car almost as if he was letting me know he was watching. This just got worse over the next 3 months and I figured it was probably time to end things. I decided I was just going to drive over and just let him know things weren’t working out, simple enough, right?
Wrong. When he figured out what I was doing, he completely lost it. Punched holes in everything, broke whatever was in sight, and had a full-on episode. When I got to the house he was waiting for me in his truck which was completely ripped apart, might I add. I figured it probably wasn’t the best idea to get out of the car, so I turned around to drive away and he busted out his truck window and then followed dangerously close to my car.
After about a half hour, he finally let off and called me claiming he wrecked his truck. I went back to get him, but I’ll skip the details on the endless crazy things he pulled that night. Needless to say, it was over. A few months after the break up I decided it was probably a good time to get all of the things I had left at his house.
It was mostly clothes, but I always left the stuffed animals he got me there just because. Long story short, I walked into his closet (The walls were still completely demolished from his episode) and I found some of the pillow pets he had bought throughout the relationship. I grabbed my favorite one (a grey elephant named Charlotte) and on the underside, she was just covered in you-know-what.
By covered I mean graciously glazed from multiple endeavors. Side note: It is so weird typing this out. It never seemed as crazy as it actually is. And that’s all I have to say about that.
96. Explosive Battle
My ex-guy was unbuttoning his shirt to change one day while I was making coffee for him. Something wasn’t quite in place and I had an unsettling feeling that made me very scared. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw pen inscriptions on his chest—a girl’s name. Carefully and timidly, I asked him what that was and he promptly replied that his pen was leaking.
When I mentioned to him that no stain was visible on the shirt, he flew into a wild fit of rage. He began to cuss about my elderly parents, saying he wishes them to die slow, horrible deaths. My mother, who had been nothing but supportive and kind towards him as long as he had been around, was suffering in the hospital at the time and this was a disgusting and intentional low blow.
He then grabbed the steaming coffee and threw it right at me. At that moment, something deep inside of me just went “Kaboom!” and all my fears of abuse, of being alone, and of what others might think instantly evaporated. I slapped him hard and told him I was done, so he can pack up and go get lost.
I was truly done and there was not one iota of doubt left. He tried to talk me out of this and shamelessly added that I would suffer miserably without him in my life. I did not give in, and I’m so happy I didn’t—my life is much better without him around.
97. Hunting for Problems
Brother of mine caught his wife. Her phone would always be going off and she would hide it. He got curious, looked into it, and found some guy had been texting her for a few months. She said she was going to stay home because she had to catch up on homework over the weekend. My brother and I went on our hunting trip and he told me about it.
We never left the city, we went to my house and stayed there till it got dark, then drove back to his neighborhood in my neighbor’s car. She sent him a picture of her at home saying she was going to go to bed early that night. Well, we snuck close to the house after a car parked down the street and a guy walked to the house and let himself in.
My brother was fuming at this point and wanted to beat the crap out of the guy. I settled him down and told him to think about the long run. We snuck up to the house and using the night vision camera got video of them bumping uglies in the living room. My brother wanted to confront this guy at this point so… I did something messed up and called the cops.
I said I heard a lot of yelling from the house and asked if they could go check. It kept my brother from messing with the dude (a coworker of hers). Cops show up, take statements. We leave and the next day he pulls her iMessages off the email account and talks to a lawyer. We give the lawyer the messages and when we show up five days later from our “hunting trip,” he calls her and says he got something wild and wants her to come out and see it.
When she comes out he gives her divorce papers and kicks her out of the house. She had the police do a civil stand by while she got her stuff a few days later. House was his before they got married so all she got to keep was some stuff they bought together and her car. No kids and the prenup nullified the alimony she could have gotten as he made way more money than her.
The guy she was sleeping with had a record. We saw her a few months later, she tried talking to my wife and said she missed my brother and she was sorry, the guy and her broke up shortly after the divorce.
98. Pregnant Disaster
I was pregnant with my oldest daughter and had extreme pain one day, so I came home early from work. When I get home I see two purses that I knew weren’t mine sitting on the stand. I head to my room to see if my then boyfriend could explain the purses; I’m hearing noises coming from our room. I opened the door to peek in and he is having a threesome. I close the door and just go back into the living room.
I was shocked. I was supposed to be on bedrest, but I was the only one who had a job, so I was going to school and working while he got to stay home all day. I was livid, but what was scary is that I was so furious that I remained calm. I went into the living room, sat on the couch and waited for them to come out; when they finally did I asked them if they had fun?
I told them they needed to get out of my apartment. He tried to talk to me, but I told him he needed to get out. I calmly packed off of his stuff up, had a friend come over because I couldn’t do heavy lifting being 7 months pregnant and dropped his stuff off at his parents’ house that night. It’s still shocking to me that I remained so calm being that angry.
99. Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
When I was in the army, my wife and I were good friends with a newlywed couple that lived a few doors down from us. One day, I got home from work to find the guy sitting on his front door step. I said, “Hey!” He said, “Dude, you gotta come see this.” So I walked into his house, and it was completely empty.
There was not even a single scrap of paper or a bag of trash. To make things even weirder, every single cabinet door was open, as was every refrigerator door and every drawer. If it was supposed to be closed, it was open. He said that the front door was wide open when he got home, and every faucet was turned on, too.
There was no note or anything whatsoever. His wife was just gone without a trace, and everything in their house was gone with her. Strangely enough, my wife and I had just dinner with them, at their house, the very night before. We were all laughing it up, drinking wine, and having a great time, with not even the remotest sign of anything being wrong.
He said that the first thing he did after making this discovery was to call her parents’ house. As soon as the phone rang, her father answered the phone and—before the poor guy could even ask if he knew anything about what was going on—he just said: “Bill, you need to let it go,” and hung up on him.
Remember that line from True Lies when Tom Arnold says that his ex-wife even took the ice cube trays? Well, this girl really did take the ice cube trays. She also took all of his uniforms and other clothes. He literally only had the clothes on his back and whatever was in his pockets at the time to his name. I never did find out what the motivator was; she was just gone forever.
100. Don’t Shoot the Messenger
Just to warn everybody, this one is kind of messed up. It happened to a friend of mine. We were both deployed to Okinawa. My friend married his girl prior to the deployment. Then, he found out mid-deployment that she had cheated on him. Now, finding out about something like that is bad enough as it is—but the way my friend found out about this was the part that was the most messed up.
He had checked his Facebook messages one day and suddenly saw a message from some dude that he didn’t know. The guy straight up told him that he had slept with his wife. Apparently, she had never told him that she was married and, when he eventually added her on Facebook, he realized that she was married to my friend.
After making this discovery, he felt so guilty about the whole thing that he decided he had to message my friend and let him know. My friend wasted no time and divorced her while still in Oki. I’m not even sure how that was legally possible, but I definitely remember him doing some kind of legal paperwork the very next day after getting the messages—so I guess he found a way.