These Weddings Went Horribly Wrong

Lots of people grow up imagining their perfect wedding day—but I’m guessing none of us were picturing psychotic in-laws, cheating partners, or horrible accidents. Here’s praying your big day goes a little better than these…


1. When One Door Closes

My uncle got left at the altar on his wedding day after a five-year relationship. My grandad had to go up to the altar, thank everyone for coming, and say there would be no wedding. My uncle was heartbroken and went on a trip to New Zealand to get over it. He sat on the plane next to a dude from there. The guy invited my uncle to his family’s home…and my uncle ended up marrying his sister.

They are still together and have three kids. She is awesome and the best aunt.

Betty5boop

2. Never The Two Shall Meet

I’m a part-time wedding planner. The bachelor party and the bachelorette party were being held in the same hotel in New Orleans. I tried to get them to do separate venues but nooooo, the group discount would cover an extra day in Carmel. They begin at 8 pm and collide drunkenly at about 3 am. It was some kind of drunken fistfight that turned…intimate?

Everyone was so ashamed the next morning they called it off. They made up six months later and got married. They picked something simple, like their backyard, this time.

Darklordofbunnies

Wedding ruinedUnsplash

3. For Better Or For Worse

A friend of mine had a bachelor party at the local peeler club a few days before the wedding. I was going to come later in the evening as I was flying in late for the bachelor party and wedding. Got a call right before takeoff. The news shook me to my core. The groom had fallen from the upstairs in the VIP section and had severed his spinal cord.

Even after a few months of rehab, he was fully paraplegic. Amazingly the wedding did happen, almost a year later. It puts things in perspective that she still stayed.

Coxxy24

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4. Family Feud

My cousin runs a popular upscale marriage venue. The groom’s mom was a heavy drinker and got belligerent when she drank, so understandably the bride wanted the groom to try to limit her drinking. The afternoon before the wedding, the bride arrives to see groom’s mom smashed with the groom himself giving her drinks. Next thing my cousin knows, the bride and groom are in a straight-up fistfight.

This leads to an Anchorman-style street fight between members of both families in the parking lot. Apparently they recently scheduled a new day for it. I can’t imagine the tension there.

zacktyzwyz

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5. Gimme Gimme Gimme

Friend invites me to his wedding. He and fiancée are fairly poor and have lived together for years. They’re both semi-disabled (his is PTSD, hers is physical) and on fixed incomes, and live in a somewhat expensive area. They have three gift registries (Target, Macy’s, Crate & Barrel) and a HUGE invite list—over 300 friends and family members.

All the stuff on the registries is standard stuff like towels, coffee cups, flatware, etc. Anyway, people fly out, get ready for the wedding, and two days before the wedding is the bachelor party. That’s when the dark truth comes out. The friend has too much to drink and admits that she’s not really his fiancée; they are just roommates and they have no intention of getting married, they just needed the stuff.

They’re going to cancel the wedding tomorrow and keep all the gifts. I had to protect him from getting his butt kicked by about two dozen people. Then he had to have the fiancée come clean to everyone since he was too hungover. They ended up returning most of the gifts to people—but a surprising number of people let them keep the gifts. As his grandfather said, “If you needed these things that badly to lie like this, you must have been very desperate.”

gaqua

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6. Talk About Bad Timing

My friend had been with his fiancée for eight years when she got pregnant. Fast forward eight months and we decide that because they are basically common-law married anyway, we need to throw him a bachelor party. So we go to the nearest big city and we are all living it up when he gets the call that his fiancée is in labor. None of us is in any state to drive.

We end up calling a cab and paying over $300 to get him to the hospital as soon as possible. My friend is stumble-down hammered he walks into the delivery room smelling like a peeler club, with lewd things drawn on his face and covered in glitter. I was positive that was the end. They’ve been married seven years and just had their second child last week.

robertshammer

7. Liar, Liar

The sister of the groom chatted with the sister of the bride. Just casual conversation, but it came to light that almost 100% of what the bride had said besides her name was a complete lie. Sister of the groom calls him up and says he really needs to figure out if this is right. A few fights and some long thinking later, the groom leaves her and leaves town. It got worse though.

It turns out pretty much all the bride’s friends had been lied to as well. They all stopped talking to her. She lied about all the normal details of a person’s life. Where she went to high school, instead of a boring suburban school it was an expensive private school.

She claimed her family had a ton of money she was set to inherit. Claimed they had a home in Hawaii. Faked knowing people in the same industry. Small to large, didn’t really matter, almost all of it was fake from what I heard. I didn’t really know her, but we were at the same company. People I worked with used to work in her department so I just heard most of it second-hand.

I have no idea how she thought this would work for the rest of her life. I honestly think she had a mental condition. From what I understand, she tried to rekindle the friendships but quickly started to lie again and that was it. She quit the company shortly after all this went down.

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8. She Dodged A Bullet

I had an awful teacher in high school who used to brag about how he left a woman at the altar. He was a short, angry, jerk of a man. He would cover the windows so no sunlight would come into the room, and make us put all of our backpacks against the wall. He would then publicly mock anyone who had to get up and retrieve something from their backpack during class.

Anyway, he said that he went up to the bride and told her it wasn’t worth it. And then he went home to have a drink. Ugh, he was so smug about it, it made me feel sick. If I wasn’t so insecure in high school, I would have complained about him.

AgentTypo

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9. The Silver Coffin Lining

I used to work at an upscale wedding venue. Two weeks before a huge, expensive wedding, the groom’s father dies, so they ask us to turn the wedding into a funeral instead. They were a lovely couple, and it was really awfully sad when it happened, but I still use it as my go-to answer for “describe a time when you delivered outstanding customer service” type questions in job interviews.

de_ebrietate_sua

Wedding ruinedShutterstock

10. A Nasty Surprise

I worked at a music venue in the Detroit area that was also a popular wedding reception location. Came into work one week in the fall, when pretty much every weekend is booked solid with weddings, and noticed Saturday was open, no one scheduled. I talked to the wedding planner and she tells me the groom canceled…Odd. Talk to the wedding planner’s younger brother, who was our head bartender.

He tells me that the groom, excited for the wedding, left work at lunch on Friday, bought a nice bottle of red, and headed home to surprise his bride-to-be. Except, he was the one in for a surprise. He walked into his new house to hear sounds coming from their bedroom. He walked in to find his bride in bed with another man…his father. We tried to talk him into doing a big screw you party because we’d never fill the space and there was no refund, but he declined.

cornnndog

11. A Whole Lot Of Fuss

This happened several years ago. My ex was the best man in a wedding for his best friend. The night of the bachelor/bachelorette party, the men and women each had their own get-together, and then were supposed to meet up with each other later that night at a bar downtown. I was with the ladies and after our party, we got into the party bus and headed down.

The bride called the groom and told him to leave to meet us there. We waited and waited. Groom is a no-show. Bride demands that I call my then-boyfriend and find out where they were. Boyfriend reports that they made a pit-stop at strip joint, which the bride and groom apparently had an agreement they wouldn’t do. The bride obviously flips out.

She grabs my phone demands that my ex order everyone to leave the club. Ex tries to explain that it is not going to be easy to get 40 highly intoxicated men out of the club when they had already “started.” Meanwhile, the groom is still ignoring bride’s calls. The bride demands that we all leave. The bride and groom’s sister get into a physical altercation and have to be pulled apart.

The bride is screaming that she is canceling the wedding. The ex and I hightailed it out of there as it had escalated into a two-family brawl. The next day, the groom calls my ex and asks if we want to come over to watch movies with him and the bride. They got married weeks later and are still married.

TA704

12. The Biggest Betrayal

While working the night before a wedding at a hotel, the staff and I heard a loud scream from upstairs. Cue the bride screaming and sobbing shouting, “The wedding’s off!!!” while storming out the place, followed by the groom stark bollock naked covering his nether regions with his hands apologizing profusely. Turns out she caught the mother of the bride and the groom getting it on.

Safe to say we had an easy shift the next day as we didn’t have a wedding to cater for.

Shockwavepulsar

1. What A Way To Go

I’ve been to a few awful weddings, but this one was the worst. I did a dessert table for a wedding at my old country club job once. As I was setting up, people started shuffling in…keep in mind, the actual marriage ceremony was supposed to be going on at that moment, so nothing was fully set up. The couple was nowhere to be found.

It felt more like a funeral than anything else; just people talking quietly amongst themselves. I tracked down the club’s wedding photographer since I knew he’d probably have details and I found him chatting with a bridesmaid. Apparently, the couple was super Christian, conservative, and young—like, in their 20s. The groom got sent to a “pray away the gay camp” as a high schooler after getting caught with his best friend.

He was there for a year. When he came back, he met this girl and they decided to get married. Well, he ran into the guy he got caught with like two months before the wedding, decided he missed their friendship, and they started hanging out again. As the wedding got closer, he realizes: “What the heck am I doing?” He started freaking out, and the night before the wedding, he went to the guy’s house. That’s when it got WEIRD.

He called the bride and she refused to accept that he was not showing. So she went through the whole mess of getting ready and he didn’t show up. She lost her darn mind on the speakerphone with him at the church where everyone could hear, all while he was yelling, “I’m gay! I like men! I love him, and my parents can’t force me anymore! This isn’t about you and you’ll thank me in the long run!”

notsugarbabybutok

2. That’s Nuts

A co-worker of mine was at his best friend’s wedding. At the reception, there were very specific rules about the food—no nuts was the big one. There were a couple of people there, including the maid of honor, who was severely allergic to them. Well, the venue served something that had nuts, and the maid of honor went anaphylactic. Her Epi-pen wasn’t effective, and she passed on the way to the hospital. Obviously, lawsuits were expected.

Hoju22

3. No Show Nuptials

I’ve catered many weddings and there have been some memorable ones. Fights between guests, wedding cakes falling over, things spilled on wedding dresses, the lot. But there was one I’ll never forget. It was an all-day do with a small ceremony of a few close friends and family. There was then a big reception filled with a huge buffet and a free bar.

It was all in the same venue and they had paid for 250 evening guests. But here’s the thing—only 30 guests turned up, at most. My heart broke for this couple. A beautifully converted barn, loads of food and drinks, great music—but no guests. At about 10 pm (the venue was licensed until 11 pm), the buffet food had barely been touched.

The few people who were there ate, but it hardly made a dent as it was planned for so many more people. I asked the mother of the bride if she wanted me to cover and refrigerate the untouched food so the new couple could take it home. Her reply made me cringe. She said, “Oh no, there are still a lot of people coming.” It was the most awkward I’ve ever felt in my life.

No more guests showed. There was a flash of car headlights in the distance at about 10:30 pm and the bride BEAMED when she thought it was latecomers arriving. But no, it was just taxis arriving to pick up the few who were there. It’s the only event I have ever done where we didn’t have to ask people to leave the venue. At 11 pm, the place was empty. Then we found out the whole story. 

In a nutshell, the bride’s parents paid for the day, and the happy couple had zero control over their guest list. Her parents invited all their “friends” to the evening function, but in reality, it was just associates they wanted to flex on—resulting in no one caring at all about an invite to a wedding where they didn’t know the bride or groom. It was basically just a networking event for the bride’s parents.

Gypsy_Green

4. A Real Showstopper

This didn’t happen at a wedding but at a 30-year wedding anniversary. I was working as a waiter at a hotel and we had ballrooms for private parties and other bigger events. The bride and groom had spared no expense. There were about 100 guests, a five-course meal, an open bar, and a whole day party. We were supposed to close it at 4 in the morning.

It was grand—one of the biggest parties I had waited on so far. After the main course, the husband stood up and gave a speech. A long one. He started out reminiscing about when they had met: their early life together, the hard times they had endured, etc. He then talked at length about how he loved their children and told each of them how proud he was of their accomplishments.

So far, it was one of the better speeches I had ever heard. It was heartfelt, and he had a lot of charisma. He was well-spoken and funny, too. But then it took a dark turn. He looked at his wife again. He told her that he had hated her for the last four years of their life together. He called her a toxic narcissist and said she had made him feel miserable to the point where he contemplated ending it all.

He also her that he knew she had a lover. He pointed him out in the crowd, next to his wife and children. He had evidence and was suing for divorce, intending to take everything. He gave her the divorce papers right then and there. Oh, but it got even better. He then announced to everyone that he had gotten his own apartment. He had hired movers to move all his stuff while they were at the party, and he said he would be leaving shortly.

In the stunned silence that ensued, he tipped all staff, dishwashers, bosses, waiters, and busboys $200 each and left. Needless to say, everyone left within the hour.

TheGrumpyUncle

2. With Mothers Like These, Who Needs Enemies?

At my (half) sister’s wedding, when they got to the objection part, her mother (same dad, different mum) leaned across to another family member and whispered, “Yeah, he isn’t good enough for her.” The officiant stopped the wedding and asked her to speak up, saying it’s a legal part of the wedding and if she has an objection then please state it loud enough for everyone to hear.

My sister’s mum laughed it off and sat down red-faced…while I glared evils into the back of this woman’s head. My sister is awesome, and the guy she’s with makes her super happy. At the reception, things got so much worse. In his speech, he thanked the mom for accepting him into the family and said how happy he was to have another mum (both his parents have died). Oof from me.

mistymorningsunrise

13. A Moment Of Weakness

Neighbor’s jealous harpy frenemies convinced her to cheat on the husband-to-be at the bachelorette party. Her friends were very far gone and SnapChatted evidence to him as “a joke.” Obviously, he didn’t take it that well and left her. Packed up all his things in their apartment and drove to his parents’ instead of getting married. The bride apparently didn’t leave her room for about three weeks, totally distraught with how her relationship fell apart.

Dlang17

14. More Than Just Friends

This was my best friend’s bachelor party a few years ago. He had dated his fiancée for six or seven years at that point. She made a male friend at work that became a groomsman. I hated him, didn’t trust him, and told my buddy that. The night of the party after huge amounts of drinking, my friend the groom breaks down crying, leaves, and walks home.

He didn’t say anything to anyone, just left. Found out the next day that the bride-to-be had been banging that groomsman for months and they were trying to work through it. He couldn’t get past it and canceled the wedding.

americanadian78

15. Everyone Knows But Him

A week before his wedding, a friend of mine walked into a nightmare. It was his dad getting it on with his fiancée. The next day in a fit of rage he trashed their room AND THEN in the process found explicit love letters to his recently married best friend (and best man) in her underwear drawer. The letters were as recent as the past week. The wedding was canceled.

Whenever I ran into him at a bar I made sure he never had to buy his own drinks.

Stopikingonme

16. The Show Must Go On

The bachelorette party is three days before the destination wedding. My sister (the bride) is taken by her friends for a dinner. I’m at the bachelor party with the groom, and we start getting weird messages. Garbled texts, and then we get a call from a local hospital. They’ve all got food poisoning from the dinner. The groom goes “Yeah, this isn’t happening boys” and we figure one more shot and we’ll make our way to the hospital.

Never underestimate the determination of a bride and bridesmaids. The wedding was delayed by only a day, to the Sunday, and she walked down the aisle with enough gravol shoved up her bum and shot into her veins that I’m not sure she knew where she was, let alone that it was a wedding. The bridesmaids were all various shades of grey, green, and ill.

It was open bar, and to avoid spoiling the party, the husband and groomsmen stayed back and kept drinking. My sister was so tired that she and the bridesmaids took another dose of gravol and all went to sleep in their hotel room. My mother, who is a retired ICU nurse, went to take care of them.

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50. Forget Fainting Goats…

My cousin and his very sweet wife got married two years ago. First off, they got really unlucky with the weather, and what was supposed to be nice cool fall weather ended up being a heatwave with a dust storm. It was steaming outside, 100 degrees with full humidity. The first very obvious problem was that they had been planning for an outdoor wedding in a cool climate. As such, many of the dishes that they were going to have for their buffet dinner were mayonnaise and meat-based, and they’d been sitting outside in the heat after the ceremony without much means of keeping them cold.

To be fair, the Church was beautiful, and the bride looked gorgeous. In the middle of the ceremony though, we noticed the bride start to sway. As everyone started to murmur, she fainted, woke up…and then vomited all over her wedding dress. She looked horrified and humiliated, and then started crying. During the super hot day, she hadn’t had enough to drink or enough to eat, so when everything calmed down, her body had caught up with her.

The priest asked her if she needed to stop, but she waved him onward, determined to finish the wedding. The priest said something really nice about how marriage is not about these random happy moments like a wedding, but about the challenges that you go through as a couple and how you thrive from them. She made it through and then we headed outside to the heat and the possibly rotting and poisonous food.

I managed to avoid most of the mayonnaise-based foods, but my brother and sister did not…they would suffer greatly in the aftermath.

stopinthenameofsign

43. One Moment Gone So Wrong

Best friend got wasted, as did everyone, at the lake house during the bachelor party. One kid wanted to take the boat out in cold, cold water. No life vests. With three of them in the boat. At 1,000 feet from shore, they tipped the boat. Only one tried to swim to shore to get help. He was so cold by the time he got to shore that it took him an hour to reach the nearest house for help.

My friend stayed with the other guy holding onto the upside-down boat. The other guy had heavy clothes and boots and they couldn’t get them off as it was dark and their fingers were numb. I don’t know how long they managed to hold on waiting for help until they went under. The wedding party the next day became a search and rescue.

Many months later, they found the body. Sometimes I hate him for not swimming to save himself. Sometimes I admire him for trying to save his friend. I miss you so much watermelon.

evilerisstever

52. The Family That Lies Together Stays Together

My sister and her husband. They met each other our junior year of high school, and she moved in with him halfway through our senior year. I never liked him and did not hide that fact. I especially didn’t like him after he hit on me while they were dating. Didn’t hide that fact either, but my sister brushed me off. Before he popped the question, she found out he’d been texting other girls.

He promised he’d change. The wedding was a train wreck, honestly. It was a small affair in our family back yard, with our aunt officiating. That same aunt started crying midway through the ceremony. My stepmother read a poem about them she wrote halfway through the ceremony—she always wants to be the center of attention.

The groom’s drunken father, who had been barred from the wedding, came stumbling in at some point during the vows to search for alcohol, and I saw the groom grab one of the bridesmaids’ bottoms. I didn’t point that out to my deliriously happy stepsister. I should have. A year later it turned out the groom had been sending…adult messages to my stepmom.

My sister somehow forgave both of them. She has low self-esteem. They got caught again a year after that. At that point, my dad had divorced my stepmother, so I have been distant from this whole shebang. But my sister—who I do still talk to—finally divorced that scumbag. Divorce for everyone! Let’s pull an Oprah.

coffee-and-insomnia

17. Bad Habits

The day of the wedding, the bridesmaids discovered a bunch of drugs and syringes in the bride’s bag. The groom was furious and called off the wedding an hour before it was set to happen, but still let us enjoy the food and bar that had already been paid for at the venue. He dodged a bullet and I got drinks for free all night. Win-win if you ask me.

Tee_Red

18. A Backup Plan

Not mine, but a friend of my wife. It was a destination wedding in South America; we live in the US. Because it was a destination wedding, they both had their bachelor and bachelorette down there. The bride-to-be went looking for the groom the night before the wedding. No one knew where he was…and we eventually found the dude locked in a bathroom with some local girl doing coke.

The bride was obviously angry but they went through with the wedding. But then the twist came in. Cut to a few years later, and we randomly went out to dinner with just me and my wife with the bride. Turns out she never mailed in the wedding certificate. All this time, they haven’t been married. She said she had too many red flags to go through with it.

Dude has no idea they aren’t really married, even though they have been married for years and have two kids together.

Robot_Warrior

19. Rekindling An Old Flame

I’m a musician, and I work on an infamous street for revelry and debauchery. One night, a bachelor party came in around the same time as a bachelorette party. The show I work with does special things like funny songs for special events, so I bring them both up at the same time to do something special. Then it got awkward. In the middle of this, on stage, they start making out.

And they Do. Not. Stop. I finish my routine as best I can and get them offstage. Later, as I’m looking around the audience, my eye catches on them again. They’re in the back corner just going at it while their respective parties hang out up near the front of the stage. And they are really getting into it. Hands down pants and up skirts. At some point they disappear.

I take a break and head to the restroom. It’s locked. I hear a woman yelling…some very encouraging…things from inside the stall. I sit in the lounge area outside the bathroom for about 10 minutes. The bachelor and bachelorette come out, looking a bit disheveled, but not too bad and not at all weirded out. They see me and immediately want to chat.

For some reason, people always want to get to know the musicians here. All their secrets came spilling out. There’s curiously no guilt on them at all. I have to pee like a racehorse, but this is too good to pass up. Come to find out, they both are getting married to other people, but know each other from having lived in the same small town of about 5,000 all their lives. They ran into each other for the first time since high school graduation at our bar and old feelings emerged that neither had ever attempted to act on.

They don’t stay long, and as they leave I hear the bachelor say, “I have my own room, let’s go there.” The rest of the party stays till the show is over, partying hard and having fun. Possibly the best bachelor/bachelorette parties I’ve had. Anywho, I wind up seeing the “bachelor” and “bachelorette” together at our bar and out in the street every night for four nights.

Always holding hands and/or getting frisky. They came back a little over a year later. They got married here in our town to each other instead of who they were engaged to that fateful night. Most of their respective bachelor/bachelorette showed up for the event. With this story, I always feel torn. Did I participate in the destruction of two relationships, or did I facilitate the meeting of two soulmates?

Slowhandpoet

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20. Down To The Wire

My aunt was visiting me, and a friend’s daughter was getting married that day nearby. My aunt wanted to drop by the reception to bring a wedding gift. When she got there, she got horrible news. It turned out the wedding had never taken place. It seems they got to the altar, and when he said “I do,” and they asked her “Do you take this man to be your wedded husband?” she said, “No,” and walked out.

The weird part is they were both at the reception, hanging with their friends. He looked really unhappy. She looked delirious. If I were him, I’d never want to be within a mile of her ever again after that. I don’t know what her reasoning was. Maybe it was good. But it was really incredibly rude of her to literally wait until the very last moment to break it off.

themcp

5. In The Dark

I used to do catering work, and this one time, my boss sent me to a remote location in the woods on a beautiful river. I found out while we were loading the truck that the boss wouldn’t be going and that I was essentially in charge. My boss promised me that everything was taken care of…Little did I know it would be a complete nightmare.

You can imagine my surprise when I arrived at this remote location and literally nothing was set up. We were only about an hour early, so I frantically started trying to get the tent in order. We needed extension cords to run the coffee and tea, but there were none there. We needed tables to set up the food, but there were none. I somehow whipped up some last-minute fixes for the missing things.

Then, just as the bride and groom are arriving, it got so much worse. We blew the fuse for our only power source and the place was plunged into darkness. We reset the breaker and I moved some stuff around, but the fuse blew again. This delicate dance went on for the entire evening—through speeches, the first dance, everything. I think the worst part of the entire experience was when we went to rinse our dishes before boxing them up and found out that the water pump for the place stopped working and needed to be primed again.

At that point, I said forget about it, we’ll take them back dirty, and the crew and I spent several more hours after the long ride home doing them. That was the day I worked a 15-hour shift without a break—and still ruined the wedding. Needless to say, I quit that job.

LadyWalks

6. I’m Like A Bird

I was the best man at my sister-in-law’s wedding. After a whole year of planning, all the bride wanted was a ex release while they said handwritten vows to each other. It was a very small, non-denominational wedding. The day arrived in early summer and all seemed to be going well…except something was off with the bird handlers.

They showed up a bit late and were sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time came to say their vows, I helped the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to the altar where the bride and groom were standing. Vows were just about wrapping up and the handler gave ME the signal to open the chest. I opened it and witnessed a horrific sight.

I saw 20 to 30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE! I immediately closed it and tried to pretend nothing was wrong. Too late. The look of horror on the bride’s face was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up, but by the end of the reception, the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on.

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7. Surprise, Surprise

I used to work at a pretty upscale catering hall in New Jersey back when I was in college, and we had one instance where I witnessed a ruined wedding. We all thought it was weird when a couple of the groomsmen got access to the reception room during cocktail hour. It was for “decorating,” they said. Not something we normally saw the men do.

In any case, we got through the main courses just fine, and then one thing became VERY clear to us staff. The bride’s side of the family was VERY conservative. They didn’t drink, they barely danced, and they watched wide-eyed as the groom’s side of the party went wild. Anyway, it came time for the speeches, and about halfway through his speech, the best man stood up.

He said something like, “Hey, bride’s family—I know you think your girl is so sweet and innocent, but if you want to see what they’re REALLY like, look under your seat! That’s when things got insane. Well, taped under EVERY chair was a picture of the bride and groom caught in the act. The groom’s family and friends roared with laughter, but the bride’s side was MORTIFIED.

There were so many fights that broke out that night. Did I mention this was in New Jersey? The wedding was pretty much over at that point.

alllowercaseyouknow

21. A Photo Finish

An ex-girlfriend was at a bachelorette party at a seedy male dancer’s place. She came home from the party and said, “Well, the wedding is off.” The bride was getting the usual treatment, sitting in a chair with the men gyrating around her, whipping stuff around, and then they got, uh, really frisky. When it ended, the bride kind of comes to her senses, looks around, and sees like 20 of her friends pointing cell phones at her recording and taking photos.

She starts freaking out. My girlfriend says she started screaming at everyone “you better delete that” and generally having a full rage meltdown. This tale of modern romance closes very shortly after, with the bride’s phone ringing in a call from her fiancé, who has already received photos from her “friends” of his bride to be getting it on with a male dancer in front of a crowd.

McFeely_Smackup

22. Showing Her True Colors

I was at an engagement party of a long-time friend the other day, and everything was good until afterward. As soon as we got back to their house (I was crashing at theirs) they had an argument. I saw a side to her I never wanted to know. She got angry and punched him in the face twice, then said, “If you tell anyone I did this I’ll say you’re abusive.”

He said he was done with her, but somehow the wedding is still on. I’m supposed to be the best man, but there’s no way am I condoning the wedding in any form, and that includes going to the thing.

the_creature_walks

Wedding ruinedShutterstock

23. Daddy’s Little Girl

This was my buddy’s bachelor party. The bachelor got super wasted and the father of the bride, who was super conservative, was shocked and did not know the well-mannered/polite young man marrying his daughter was, in his eyes, a “raging alcoholic.” In fact, the bachelor got so tipsy, he began to let some secrets slip about his relationship with the bride.

Again, the father of the bride was a bit old school in his thinking, and the bachelor let the following slip: That his daughter was basically living with him since Junior year of college and her apartment in college was just for show. That even though he is drinking a lot, his future wife can outdrink him 2-1. His future wife has a cute tattoo on her inner thigh and that all their friends had seen it when they went skinny dipping at the father’s lake house.

That we had a massive graduation party at his lake house when he and his wife were in Europe for two weeks. Finally, the bride is into some kinky stuff. That drew the line. The father of the bride declared there would not be a wedding, and asked where had he gone wrong raising his daughters. He has four daughters total and this was his oldest and who he considered his best behaved. They married anyway.

mgoode87

Wedding ruinedUnsplash

24. The Bro Code Strikes Back

A dancer came to my buddy Jack’s bachelor party and was playing around with condoms, but nothing truly untoward happened throughout the party. At the end of the night, Jack the groom-to-be was cleaning up a bit and put the condom wrapper in his pocket absentmindedly. The next day his fiancée Kristen was doing laundry and found the wrapper.

She freaked out thinking that he had cheated on her. Jack tried to reassure her and explain the situation. Kristen is a really cool lady and takes it pretty well and calms down…but she can’t quite shake the feeling. So, Jack tells her to call me to confirm what happened. Kristen calls and asks, “So what happened last night?” Mind you, I’m totally in the dark about the situation, and Jack and I had never discussed what we are supposed to tell Kristen, so I totally downplay it to erase the dancer completely.

“Not much, the boys just had a few drinks and had some Havanas.” I hear YOU LYING PIECE OF—click

slugbearwave

Wedding ruinedShutterstock

25. A Rollercoaster Ride

On man, so I have a good story. The night before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner is at a distillery. Everyone gets hammered. I mean everyone, even the grandparents, all extremely intoxicated. The groom’s dad was so gone that when he tries to give his speech to the couple to be, he cannot even talk, nor stand up. After the rehearsal dinner, the whole wedding party decides it is a good idea to go out drinking some more at some karaoke bar.

At the bar, the groom’s little sister, who was in high school at the time, randomly decides to get on stage to try her hand at karaoke. However, instead of singing a song, she just starts talking about how she wants to screw all the groomsmen. Promptly, her family rips her off stage and takes her home. Later in the night, everyone is having a great time, but then the bride tipsily tells the groom that she is not sure if she loves him anymore.

The groom becomes enraged, leaves the bar, attempting to walk (stumble) back to his hotel, which wasn’t anywhere near the bar. The groom’s brother runs after him trying to calm him down and the groom ends up getting into a huge fistfight with his brother/best man. The next day, the groom and best man look like they had both been hit by a truck.

For some reason, the wedding is still on. The groom’s mother decides the only way to fix things is by trying to cover the wounds with makeup. So now you have the groom and best man looking like Casper the Friendly Ghost up on the altar, and then in walks the bride…still soused. They end up both saying “I do” but weeks later, as expected, they get divorced. Then the plot thickened SO much.

It ends up that before the wedding while the groom was on his bachelor party weekend, they met a bunch of girls who were going to the same place for a bachelorette party. The groom hooks up with one of the girls he meets. Long story short, now he is married to the girl who he cheated on his ex-fiancée/wife with, and has been for the past seven years.

It’s always funny to think back on how much of a circus that wedding was.

negativeonthewedding

26. Second Thoughts

My cousin was a young, newly-minted US Marine and was set to marry some girl he met at a gas station near base. She had no job, no real aspirations, and seemed only interested in his benefits, but she was putting out and he was happy. Nobody in the family wanted this to happen, but we were all afraid to push too hard and risk alienating him, so we all, including his parents, just went along with it.

We figured that it would fizzle out well before the wedding date. Well that didn’t happen. Until the actual day of the wedding, it all went off. On the morning of the wedding, she informs him that her best friend will be coming to live with them for the first year in order to help her acclimate to living on her own. He tells her that there is no way that this can happen, because he lives in base housing and there are strict rules against it.

Apparently, this was a deal-breaker and she backed out, with not too much protest from him. We later found out that he had been having misgivings but was too chicken to call it off himself. The reception was bought and paid for already, and my cousin’s family were all very relieved that the wedding was off, so anyone who felt like sticking around after the non-ceremony had an amazing time.

Even though the non-bride’s family weren’t there, I think we still drank almost all of the drinks.

ballantiner24

Wedding ruinedShutterstock

8. Too Much Fun

I worked on a tropical island off the coast of Queensland, Australia, and loads of weddings happened there. Most days, there’d be one or two. One time, this groom’s party came through my bar. They were on the bucks party thing before the wedding the next day, and they were pretty in their cups by 4 pm. I figured they started early and would finish early, given they had a sunrise ceremony.

About an hour later, they left for another bar on the island. Then, the bride’s party came through, equally sloshed. I finished work at 9 pm, then came back three hours later to work in the nightclub. I got in at midnight and started pouring drinks. It was busy as heck with like 250 people in the club. Around 1 am, the bride, groom, and their wedding parties rolled in absolutely destroyed.

They looked disgusting. I had no idea why security let them in because I wasn’t going to be serving them. They left about 45 minutes later, which means they would roughly arrive back at their hotel rooms around 2 am with the expectation that the bride and her party needed to be up at 4 am for hair and makeup. But they all decided to keep partying. “We’ll just stay up all night and keep drinking until the wedding!”

At that point, they had to have been drinking for 15 to 18 hours. It backfired so badly. Ceremony time rolled around and she couldn’t walk down the aisle in her heels, so she tossed them off. The groom and all his friends were loaded as heck and could barely stand. They tried to say their vows, but the celebrant couldn’t understand them. This was a huge problem.

She wasn’t allowed to marry them because they were too far gone to consent to marriage. The whole wedding was canned. A simple wedding like the one they had cost $35,000, so they wasted all that money. They did have the reception, though. From what I was told, the bride passed out about an hour in. The groom threw up everywhere.

The mothers of the bride and groom were both crying.

YoungPatrickBateman

9. Please RSVP

We attended a wedding for a family member who didn’t have a lot of money. It was hosted at an inexpensive venue, but it was still nice. My heart broke when only a third of the people invited showed up. You could see the hurt in the couple’s face. They came up to our table and said, “Do you have any friends in the city?” They had all this food for 100 people but only 30 guests.

They were willing to have complete strangers come down just so their money and food wouldn’t go to waste. We hadn’t handed over our card with cash inside yet, so my husband hit the ATM and added another $100.

redgreenbrownblue

10. Stairway From Heaven

I’m a wedding photographer. I was at one really fancy event a couple of years ago. It was a typical outdoor deal at a swanky location in the middle of nowhere. The place was really nice—it had a large concrete stairway flanked by water fountains that led down to the altar area, so the bride could be seen by all like she was ascending from heaven.

The ceremony began and the bridal party came down to take their places. Then the bride appeared with her father. She took three or four steps down the concrete steps, then disaster hit. Her shoe twisted on her and she tumbled down a good 12 feet or more. She busted out the majority of her front teeth in the fall, and there was so much blood all over her.

With the place being so isolated, it took a good 40 minutes for the ambulance to arrive and she was in intense pain. Ultimately, she was OK and I got an email from them weeks later with the reschedule date. This time, there were no stairs anywhere in sight.

MaestroLogical

44. Change of Heart

Amazingly, I saw the groom himself object. He just stood up there and started crying, then announced in front of everyone that he had fallen out of love with the bride a while before but didn’t know how to break it off. It was extremely uncomfortable, and they both stepped out. Ten minutes later, they came back in and got marriedbecause she’d apparently told him she was pregnant.

They’re still together, with three kids now. I’m not sure about the husband, but I can confirm that the wife is having an affair. Neither of them are happy, but she has a comfortable life and he doesn’t have the spine to leave.

naked_nun_run

53. Sister Act

First of all, if you’ve never been to a Jewish wedding, the way it goes is, first they have the reception with the bride and groom in separate rooms, then the ceremony, then family goes away to sit for pictures while the guests sit down to eat. Then the bride and groom come in and the dancing starts. In between the ceremony and the pictures, though, is what’s called “Yichud” which doesn’t really translate, but it approximately means “isolation together.”

The bride and groom lock themselves in a room and are observed by two reliable witnesses outside the door to have stayed therein long enough to have consummated the marriage. Although nobody actually does it there; it’s considered declasse. This is one of the things that actually solemnizes the marriage. So. After the yichud, the bride comes out and drops a bombshell.

She announces, “Sorry everyone, the wedding’s off. We’ll be getting a divorce, and we’re returning all the gifts…except for the bedroom set, where I caught my new husband trying it out with my sister last week.” So? Well, think about this. She knew about the episode before the wedding. Why’d she go through with it? Because under Jewish law, if you’ve once been married to a woman, even after divorcing her you aren’t allowed to marry her sister at any time until your first wife has passed.

By going through with the ceremony, she in effect locked her sister out of ever being able to get together with her soon-to-be-ex…

ShalomRph

27. It’s Not All Fun And Games

A buddy of mine was getting married. We went out for drinks, but his wife did not permit him to have an actual bachelor party. As we drank, he made a disturbing confession. She was mistreating him and masking it as intimate “play.” The wedding was two weeks away. Only, he hated the whole idea and only went along with it because he had low self-esteem.

She was really aggressive. She had come on to me the year before and I said no. She went so far as to wake me up by sitting on me naked on the couch when I crashed once at their place. I was trashed and thought I was dreaming at first but came to my senses before anything terrible happened. I told him about it later, but he chalked it up as just her personality.

He didn’t seem to care, even though I knew better. Anyway, we come home from the bar and sit in the living room and watch TV. He goes off to his fiancée for a bit. About 30 minutes later, I wake up to my buddy putting stuff in a backpack. He says he is going to go to a hotel, that he cannot stay here with her anymore. Says he will drop me at home.

That’s when she comes out in full leather gear with another man following her. Starts yelling at him and doing some fairly familiar “dominant” commands. He isn’t having any of it and leaves, while yelling at her for cheating and also leaving me there. Then she yells at me for not trying to stop him. I had the perfect response: “You’re the one with handcuffs.” And I walked home.

The wedding was canceled by him and she spent the next month saying stuff about how he was intolerant of her lifestyle. All I cared about was my buddy getting out of a horrible relationship. He is now married to one of the best women I know. So, a happy ending!

Abraxas_Templar

Wedding ruinedUnsplash

28. It All Comes Out Eventually

How about the father of the bride, happily married with kids, sleeping with the maid of honor the night before the big day? Yup. That didn’t go over too well with the bride. Even better, this is how it went down: The bride walked in on them bangin’ boots. Big fight ensued, yada yada, then the maid of honor spills the beans that the groom ALSO had slept with her.

A few months before. Yeah. None of that went over well at all.

rethorne

29. Bonnie And Clyde Y2K

So the couple has been sleeping together for a few years, she gets pregnant, and they decide to get married. Months of planning go by and she begins to show. Bride’s parents wig right out, call her every name in the book, and forbid her to get married. But the couple got their revenge. They cancel the wedding all right, then take her parents’ car to elope and torch the garage on their way out.  It was magnificent.

Darklordofbunnies

30. Watching Out For His Own

This ex-friend of mine, who has a daughter with another woman, was at his wedding reception with his new wife dancing. While there, she says he should forget about his daughter. He thinks she may be kidding and forgets about it. Later on she tells him again to forget about his daughter because she can give him as many kids as he wants.

He gets super angry, tells everyone to get out, the party is over. The bride doesn’t know what the heck happened but he is already gone. He goes to see the bride a week after just to return the ring the bride’s family gave him. He never spoke to her again so she gave up and a year later she sent him the divorce papers for him to sign at long last.

OshiiCat

31. Finding His Fit

One of my dad’s friends got way too wasted, left with a dancer at the club, disappeared for a few days, and then came back dating said dancer. But here’s the best part. Eventually, he actually married the dancer and they’ve been together for over 20 years. They seem pretty happy too. Romance can be weird and you find it in unexpected places, I guess.

hehbur

32. Getting Cold Feet

On weekends I work at a place that hosts quite a few weddings. At about 2 pm one day, our in-house event planner came back downstairs looking really uncomfortable and asked if anyone else would go back up to the dressing room area with him. Turns out he rounded a corner to find the groom sobbing uncontrollably and being consoled by the bride’s mother who kept saying, “It’s not too late, you don’t have to do this.”

This was all made even more uncomfortable by the fact that the bride was pregnant. Wedding went off without a hitch and staff reported that the couple looked “very happy” once the trigger was pulled.

iamfrankfrank

33. Let’s Call It Even

I had a buddy whose fiancée slept with a male dancer at her bachelorette party. He found out but wasn’t totally irate about it. They had a pretty open relationship and flirted all the time with other people. Anyways, a couple days before their wedding…he got wasted and slept with one of his fiancée’s friends. But the outcome was hugely surprising to all of us.

He told her what he did, and they both basically said “truce.” They got married. Eight years later, they’re happy with two kids. It’s weird though, because the friend that he banged still hangs out with all of us…no one really talks about it. True story man.

ZK686

Wedding ruinedShutterstock

11. The Best Laid Plans

The bride’s father was 45 minutes late to walk his daughter down the aisle. While we were waiting, the air conditioning broke down in the venue. It was over 100 degrees outside and humid like I’d never felt before. Plus, the place was overcrowded. You could barely move without bumping into someone else and in the heat, that was extra miserable.

I guess the air conditioning problem had also affected the refrigeration or something because most of the food was spoiled. The only food on the buffet was salad, spaghetti, and rolls. Not enough to feed even half the guests. Most people left after the first dance, and two of the bride’s aunts fainted. The bride and the wedding planner were crying.

PleasantSalad

12. A Dark Turn

I was studying photography and used to act as an assistant to a well-known wedding photographer. One day, we went to a couple’s wedding. He shot digital and I shot black and white film. We spent all day with the couple from 9 am through until 2 am the next morning when we left. I could see how genuinely in love they were.

It was only a day, but I got to know them quite well and I really liked them both. The next morning, I got a call from the photographer and his voice was shaky. He hit me with the most gut-wrenching news—he explained that the groom had passed that night after the reception party. Three guys had broken into their bungalow to steal their wedding gifts. The groom got out of bed to stop them and they executed him in front of the bride. I was in shock for about two weeks.

The next weekend, the photographer and I went to the bride’s house to present her with the photos. We’d worked together to get the job massively accelerated so she had the photos of her husband. We did it at our own expense and didn’t charge her a penny for the day or all the prints and album. It was sort of the least we could do.

Because my photos didn’t matter as much, I’d been able to simply capture those natural moments between them, rather than the staged wedding photos. So they had the normal album pictures but also about 150 snaps of just them being a couple. She was in tears from the moment we arrived until we left a few hours later. She was a shadow of the woman I’d met only a week earlier. That still haunts me.

HumbleTrees

13. Wrong And Strong

My ex-wife’s grandmother was in her 90s and in a wheelchair. While we were up at the altar, she wouldn’t shut up about the flowers and how they might need water. She was not talking quietly to her neighbor, either—she was yelling in her old lady voice. She didn’t have dementia—she was very with it—she just had no volume control or understanding that what she was doing was inappropriate.

“THEY LOOK TERRIBLE!” she yelled. One of the cousins, without saying anything, got up and started to just wheel her out. “WHERE ARE WE GOING?!” She yelled. We all got a chuckle at her, then we went on with the ceremony.

IvoShandor

14. For The Birds

A friend of my girlfriend was getting married. The wedding was quite normal—they got married in the local church, then there was a party in a nice restaurant. The photographer asked the bride and her bridesmaids (my girlfriend was one of them) to go outside for some photos. Some minutes later, one of the bridesmaids came back asking for help. The most unexpected thing had happened.

Apparently, there were some swans that attacked the photographer and the majority of the people around him were not doing anything other than laughing. In their defense, it was hard not to—the guy who was running around and screaming.

Nikopavvi8

15. Stage Fright

It was a big wedding with around 500 people. It was all the wife’s doing—she wanted a huge $70,000 wedding. I was a groomsman. Pre-wedding, the groom was nervous as heck. There was a lot of pressure for the day to be perfect, and it was her dream wedding, yadda yadda. At some point, a bottle was pulled out. It went from a few “calm the nerves” shots to finishing the whole bottle.

We gave him water, got him in the shower, and then redressed him. Midway through her vows, he puked all down the front of her dress. It was horrible, but it was great to watch. They’re going on eight years strong.

TheMotorcycleMen

46. Boozed Up Bride

My sister-in-law is a nurse, and she was at a wedding where the bride was so loaded, she couldn’t even stand. Not only did this girl puke, but she also soiled herself… I’m talking number two—and that was just the start of the nightmare. Then her sister came in, also loaded, and they fought and somehow slipped in the mess resulting in one of them smashing her head on the sink and getting knocked out. My sister-in-law took care of them and called them an ambulance.

jeezy-chreezy

47. And Another One Gone, And Another One Gone

I went to a wedding with a girl I dated in high school. Her uncle was marrying a woman that had already been married four times. Four. Times. As she walked down the aisle, instead of the traditional “Here Comes the Bride,” they played “Another One Bites the Dust.” I have no idea if the couple is still together, but I very seriously doubt it.

IReallyDontCare2020

48. Mom-Zilla

At my sister’s wedding, the mother of the groom arrived late…wearing a bright red, skin-tight mini dress with stilettos. She then proceeded to try to get in front of the camera so as to block it from taking photos of the bride. During the vows, she coughed loudly and made groaning noises. The pastor apparently decided it would be prudent to not ask if anyone objected to the union.

After the ceremony, as we were getting ready to leave, she tried physically attacking my sister, but there were enough of us to get in her way. They are no longer together.

lilmissmel052

49. One Wedding To Mar Them All

I once photographed a wedding that made me quit photographing weddings. My husband was my second photographer, and even he couldn’t believe the day we had. We showed up early to get a feel for the venue and grab photos of guests and details. Then, I went to check on the bride and my husband checked on the guys. The bride was extremely angry with everyone because apparently her husband-to-be had been smoking earlier and when she had ordered him to stop, he decided to have a drink instead.

The wedding ceremony was very dry. No tears. No sincere words. Then at the reception, the brother of the groom got up to speak. His toast included things like, “I can’t believe we’re here today; no one thought you would make it this far” and, “You know we wish the best for you and we hope you’re happy.” All of the guests were cringing.

Immediately after the speech, the bride said to me, “I don’t want photos of any of his (the groom’s) family. I also don’t want photos of my sister who thinks she’s a model.” That was the last wedding I shot, and it was nearly four years ago. That man was miserable. I could see it in his face and everyone else’s.

mommak8

34. Flying Too Close To The Sun

It was the party the night before the wedding. The groom and the groom’s friends, as well as the bride and the bride’s friends. They rent a cabin at a cool little state park for the party. We are all sitting at a picnic table, drinking, talking, nothing wild. The groom is stabbing a pocketknife into the picnic table top—not hard, just sticking it in the wood.

The bride-to-be says, “If you keep doing that, you are going to cut your finger off.” Groom replies, “No, it’s a lock blade, it won’t close”. Next stab: lock blade closes and cuts his pinky off. He was rushed to hospital with his pinky in the cooler. We have to hold the groom up at altar the next day due to his pain medicine. Pinky reattached, and everything was eventually cool.

kellydean1

Wedding ruinedShutterstock

35. With Friends Like These…

For some reason, a guy I know decided to have a co-ed bachelor party and invited all of his friends from college, from youth, etc. This took place in a large city, and a lot of us that knew each other from high school all went to the same big commuter school in the city and lived with our parents through college, so it was a really unique group. Lots of lifelong friends, and a bunch of new friends from college we brought into the fold.

So here’s our groom: Mr. Perpetual Life of the Party. Charismatic, fun, likes to have a good time. Marrying a total buzzkill of a girl, but darned if she isn’t crazy hot. Also very, VERY Catholic, and won’t let the groom into her pants before the wedding. Groom has been angry about this for a while, which led to some accelerated wedding plans. Anyway, co-ed bachelor party.

It was a big beach house rental. Girls and guys, and it turns into a total debauch fest. About half of us had dated or fooled around with each other through high school or college, so people are sneaking off in various states to do various things—everything from smooching to full-on three-ways. It was messy. I had really only dated a couple of girls in the group, one of whom I couldn’t find, and the other was already busy in a bedroom, so me and another loner girl got it on out of pity for each other.

We had just finished what turned out to be a remarkably good pity session when we heard the door to the next room close. These old beach houses had all been renovated a bunch to cram in as many bedrooms as possible, so the walls between were often thin. I couldn’t believe what I witnessed. It was the groom, talking with my sort-of ex that I hadn’t been able to find earlier.

From what we could hear (everything) and what we learned later, it seemed that they’d been talking about the fact that the groom’s bride-to-be was a real chilly person, and his lack of intimacy with her was really chafing. Well, you guessed it. They went hard, and the girl ended up getting REALLY loud. Like, pretty much everyone knew what was going on.

So. Three days later, everyone under the age of 40 at the wedding knows the groom schtupped this girl, but nobody says nothing. Four days into their honeymoon, the groom comes home early and calls me and some other folks. Turns out he and the girl had been texting about their adventure while he was on his honeymoon with his wife and included a choice bit about how his new wife was bad in the bedroom.

She saw the texts. Choice offered: Ditch every friend you have and stay married, or leave. Guess which one he picked? Spoiler alert they have like eight kids now.

uberphaser

Wedding ruinedShutterstock

36. Better Late Than Never

I was a bridesmaid. All of her friends (including myself), her parents, and anyone else with half a brain had been telling her to get rid of him all along, and to definitely not marry him. He had no job, and he was physically and verbally mistreating her. We’d given up by the time of her wedding, and I was trying to be happy for her. Instead of saying “I do,” though, she just started looking around the room and then ran back down the aisle.

We were all dumbfounded, except for her father who yelled a variation of what we were all thinking: “Thank You Jesus Christ.”

SFbaimei

Wedding ruinedUnsplash

37. Up Close And Personal

My friend had a cousin who was getting married. The night before the wedding day, we were at a bar that had hired a dancer. There were like 50 men there. When the girl showed up, we came to a mind-blowing realization. Turns out she was the wife’s sister. Nobody knew this was her side job. The family was in a terrible mood so the wedding was canceled, though they got married a month later.

JimmyJim10

36. Welcome to the Doghouse

My friend is all hippy-dippy into nature and is fully in love with his dog (like, they go everywhere together). So obviously, when he got married, the ceremony was outside a) for the nature but also b) so the dog could be with him. There were some rows of chairs with lots of people filling them including groom’s mother, who was sitting with his dog.

Bride and groom were at the front with the officiant. Officiant begins. Officiant comes to the part where he says, “Do you take …” Groom’s dog, Shadow, began to howl a loud, long, mournful howl. Everyone laughed. Officiant started the question again. Loud, long, mournful howl again. Everyone laughed. Groom told Shadow to come to the front.

Shadow ran up, stood directly in between the bride and groom and the officiant started again. Not a peep from Shadow. Her vows. His vows. Officiant looked at Shadow and asked, “Shadow do you take bride and groom to be your lawfully wedded parents?” Shadow barked one single bark. Officiant concluded the ceremony, everyone cheered and clapped, and Shadow barked three times, the only times that he made any sounds. Not kidding. Beautiful dog too.

SamNeedsAName

37. A Gang of Back-up Plans

A wedding I was at, one guy got up and pledged his undying love for the bride, followed by four or five others objecting for various reasons including one guy’s love for the groom. By the second or third objection, though, it was clear that the whole thing was a clever ruse. I found out later that it was all set up by the bride as a prank on the unsuspecting groom and family and friends. It was pretty hilarious!

stevo_james

38. It’s My Turn to Use the Husband

My boyfriend was friends with a guy who was getting a quickie marriage and needed witnesses. We agreed and went inside the little reception room, where the preacher, bride, and groom were lined up, waiting for us. The preacher started his thing and I noticed a woman come in and lean against the back wall. She looked mad, standing with her arms crossed.

Preacher: Is there anyone here today who objects to the union of **** and ****? Please, speak now.

The couple looked back at us and we both smiled. Suddenly, the bride’s attention turned to the woman in the back of the room.

Bride: What the freak is she doing here?!

The woman quickly raises her hand, looking at the old preacher.

Woman: I object! I don’t agree with this marriage!

The bride glares at her.

Bride: Shut up! Wait your freaking turn! It’s my scheduled day! You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first!

The woman had to be dragged out of the room, kicking and screaming and spitting at the bride…

After the reception, my friend explained that the groom was originally in a relationship with the bride. After 10 years together, he started sleeping with her sister, the woman at the back of the room. They were close sisters, until both ladies got pregnant by him, simultaneously.They fought each other like cats and dogs for the next several years.

Then, the two young cousins became school-aged and absolute best friends. Neither one of the sisters would give up the man, and he wasn’t sure which one he loved more, so he kept seeing both women. Last I heard they were all still together, but the two sisters had now teamed up to take down his pregnant mistress…

redhourglass8

39. He’s Just Playing the Long-Con

The groom’s ex got up and screamed that he was her soulmate, that she forgave him for “this whole thing” and that they should leave now because he’d proven his point. By breaking up with her five years earlier, falling in love, and holding a wedding. I ate so much cake and got so loaded at that wedding. Meanwhile everyone else was screaming and throwing stuff. Good times.

HammeredHeretic

43. Two Funerals and a Wedding

My uncle and his wife had a few bad omens both before and during their wedding. Firstly, there was a series of deaths; the bride’s mother passed away, shortly followed by the priest who was supposed to perform the wedding! Secondly, we received our invitations a little more than a week before the event, so everything was pretty rushed, apparently.

Events hit their peak when my cousin nearly got physical with a member of the wife’s family DURING the wedding. An all-out brawl was narrowly avoided. My uncle pinned all the blame on my cousin (his daughter) although both parties were clearly in the wrong. Now, they barely speak to each other. Yes, they still went through with the wedding, and are still together; I just hope they last because if not, my uncle will not have many people to turn to.

DaMainManSundae

44. Sounds Like An Excuse for Incomplete Homework

I attended a wedding recently that included a fairly large red flag. It started out fine; the venue was nice, and the ceremony was beautiful. At the end of the ceremony, however, there seemed to be a problem. Apparently, the bride was refusing to sign the marriage certificate on the grounds that she “had a tummy ache.” They separated three weeks later.

Capri-Cosmic

45. Disney For The Win

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of action and animated movies, most of them having romance at some point. If they taught me anything, it was that that if you loved someone, truly loved them, you would kiss them with your eyes closed. Well, at a wedding I attended with my family, I noticed something odd when the time came for the kiss: the groom didn’t close his eyes!

Fast forward a year, and it turns out that the groom was cheating on her with a lot of other women, so she divorced him. I was not surprised.

Octowolftfm

37. Up Close And Personal

My friend had a cousin who was getting married. The night before the wedding day, we were at a bar that had hired a dancer. There were like 50 men there. When the girl showed up, we came to a mind-blowing realization. Turns out she was the wife’s sister. Nobody knew this was her side job. The family was in a terrible mood so the wedding was canceled, though they got married a month later.

JimmyJim10

38. Reading The Tea Leaves

When I was in 6th grade, my mom decided that she wanted to marry her boyfriend of eight years. I had never liked him and he had never liked me, so I asked her why she wanted to marry him. The only reason she could come up with was that we needed help with money. My step-dad is a really angry person, and is emotionally abusive to women.

I told my mom that I didn’t approve of her choice, and she told me that what I wanted didn’t matter. I needed this man in my life. They had my little brother involved in the wedding. He was the ring bearer. My two step-sisters and I refused to take any part in the ceremony. They didn’t like the idea of the marriage, either. Well, in the middle of whatever the preacher was saying, he turns to us three girls and asks us, “Do you approve of this union?”

I look at my oldest step-sister. She looks at me. “No.” “No.” “HECK no.” It sort of ruined the entire lovey-dovey atmosphere that was around before, but at least we weren’t kidding ourselves. Fast-forward to now, my mom has a five-year-old boy with my stepdad, and is very unhappy. My stepdad tells her that she is worthless as a woman if she doesn’t cook and clean all by herself.

MissGarrison

39. Prince Charming Right Here

I worked as a cook doing banquets at a high-end restaurant and hotel. We were prepping on Friday night for the wedding reception on Saturday when one of the salespeople comes down and tells us we might not be needed on Saturday. We all look up with confusion and ask why? Turns out screaming was heard down the hall, so someone reported it.

They bash the door down to find the groom attempting to kill the future wife. Officers take away the groom that night. But wait, it gets worse. The mother of the groom tries to keep the wedding going and claims it was all a misunderstanding. The officers did not agree with this sentiment.

Steezycheesy

40. Those Who Can’t Marry, Teach

My eighth-grade US history teacher was left at the altar before. She was large and in charge, and she would get flashbacks from that moment she was left at the altar during class and turn from chill to crazy in a matter of seconds. She even had photos of the two of them with his face scratched off and whatnot in the classroom, and she would always reference him and talk about throwing him off a building or something similar. Long story short, I got a B in that class.

thrillaveza

Wedding ruinedShutterstock

41. Nothing To See Here

I was not in attendance because I was like two at the time, but a cousin of my dad was on the altar ready to go, then the groomsmen showed up with the groom still messed up from the night before. The groom threw up on the altar when he got up there. The wedding was called off and the two never married. My great-grandfather prevented everyone from eating all the food at the reception and everyone just kind of went home.

countrytime

Wedding ruinedShutterstock

42. Grief Makes People Do Stupid Things

My college roommate was engaged to a college sweetheart of hers. She graduated and moved out of state for work. He had one more year of school, but he passed tragically in a drunken walking incident. He fell off a two-story parking garage. This is not even the craziest part. See…in her and the guy’s brother’s fit of depression and sadness, the brother of the dead guy knocked her up.

So four months after the funeral, we were all gathered again for a quickie wedding. Only it wasn’t your regular wedding. She was Indian, so it was a day-long traditional ceremony. I had barely recovered from the puke-flu and HATE curry, so it was all I could do just to attend. The dad of the deceased spent the entire day crying on my shoulder about how wrong this all was.

Well, he wasn’t kidding. Within the year, his surviving son would beat the heck out of my old roommate and she filed for divorce.

Stabfacenotback

16. Runaway Bride

My mother was a church organist and she attended many weddings. I suppose the story that stands out the most was one where the bride said she couldn’t marry the guy because she didn’t love him. She then ran out of the church in full Runaway Bride fashion. It was a smallish town, so people found out later that she had met somebody new and fallen hopelessly in love with him.

GrumpyOik

17. The Things These Eyes Have Seen

The bride and groom got way in their cups, then eventually started to argue with each other. They were crying, yelling, and screaming, running out into the courtyard and causing a scene. The best man went to check on them and found them rolling on the ground, but not in a sexy way. The best man threw the bride out of the way, slammed the groom’s head into the sidewalk, and pinned him down. The bride then started kicking the groom in the face.

The best man pushed her away while sitting on top of the groom, and the bride finally stormed off with a bridesmaid. Then, the best man let the groom up, who began kicking trees and breaking the posts off the gazebo. That’s when he revealed what had been building up inside of him for months: “I’m going to kill myself!” The best man told the bridesmaid to go grab an officer from inside for assistance.

The officer came out and tried to help get the groom to his room since the wedding was at a fancy hotel. The groom proceeded to be disrespectful with the officer and ended up getting detained. The father of the groom then disowned him but also yelled at the bride. The best man and his date ended up taking care of the bride and groom’s child. At least they got to stay in their honeymoon suite for the night.

Source: I was the best man.

Plagueistragedy

18. Field Trip

My dad has vintage and veteran cars, and when I was younger, he used to do some weddings with them. I loved clearing out the confetti from the car when he’d get home. One week, he arrived back and there was no confetti in the car…The story was wild. Apparently, on the way to the church, the bride changed her mind, and instead of taking her and her father to church, they asked if he could drop them at the local zoo as it was her favorite place.

So he did and he left them there in full wedding attire. They were going to get a taxi home when they were done. It was in the days before mobile phones too, so I’m guessing people were waiting at the church for quite a while. Also, I recently called my dad to ask him if he remembered this and he seems to think that she was only getting married because she was pregnant and thought she had to. It was the early ’80s, after all.

zelda4444

29. A Door Long Open

One of my friends interrupted his cousin’s wedding to come out of the closet. But that’s not even the weirdest part. This was actually the second time my friend had come out to his family. The first time was when he was a teenager (about eight years earlier). Almost everyone at the wedding already knew. He couldn’t understand why people were so mad at him.

Parkstreet2north

30. Addicted to You

When I was 13, I went to my second cousin’s wedding. Everything was going great… they even got past the “speak now or forever hold your peace” part. They wrote their own vows, but before my second cousin’s fiancé could even begin her vows, the groom’s son (from a previous relationship) got up and announced to the entire room that the bride was cheating on his dad with her dealer.

My second cousin yelled at his son to either sit down or leave. The son left, my second cousin married her anyways. Five years and one baby later, he finds out it was true, and they separated. They were too tweaked out to afford a divorce. Finally, he got engaged a third time but before he could get married, his ex-wife had to pay for their divorce. Yep, family dinners are a little awkward.

Permalink

31. In This Case, First Is Probably the Worst

The groom’s dad interrupted the wedding to ask the bride’s father whether or not she was truly a virgin. Then he went on about how he didn’t know anything about the wedding and blah blah blah. Truly weird and embarrassing. When the groom’s father interrupted the wedding, the bride’s father (officiating the wedding) did in fact say it was confirmed.

I have no clue how or what. They seemed to be super conservative and wore sleeved dresses, long hair, etc. They eventually showed the father-in-law out and continued the ceremony, which was super awkward afterwards. It was literally as if I was on Punk’d. I’d gone with a boyfriend. After seeing what his family was like, I did not stay in that relationship for much longer.

chickenbiscuit26

32. Hog Heaven

My cousin had her enormous wedding on a farm with a huge pig roast. Her father and my other older cousin never really got along. At one point during the reception, my older cousin had enough and absolutely lost it. He looked at a handful of us and asked if we had his back. Of course, we all nodded not really knowing what was about to happen.

He disappeared and a few minutes later comes back with a 20lb bag of pork meat from the leftover roast. He walks down to where my cousin’s dad is (my aunt proceeds to yell, Lonnie NO!!!) and smacks him right in the side of the face with the bag of meat. An all-out family brawl ensued. The whole family hasn’t been invited to a wedding ever since.

TheeDaveyJones

33. Have a Rescue Boat Just in Case

I was getting married along a river at the end of summer. On the day of the ceremony, tons of wake boarders and boats were out. I was a ball of nerves and the ceremony felt so serious…when all of a sudden, some dude bro on a boat blasting music screamed “Don’t do it bro!!” and sped off. It was actually hilarious and made the rest of the ceremony a lot more fun. My husband and I cracked up, even though his brothers looked like they were about to jump in the river after the guy!

Coopamonster

34. Cupid’s Arrow Lands Too Late

I saw a random guest stand up and declare his love for the bride. He poured his heart out, saying that it should’ve been him up on the altar that day. The whole room went dead silent, the bride went pink with embarrassment and groom went red with anger. The best man promptly called for DJ/MC to start playing music. All this was in front of the random guest’s wife. Didn’t go down to well.

rubber_band_ball

39. A Candle In the Wind

I went to my uncle’s second wedding. The ceremony included a special section in which the bride and groom were supposed to light a candle together. However, even though they tried several times, the candle wouldn’t light! Finally, when the Officiant helped, it lit… but then it went out again almost immediately. They got a divorce a year or two later.

Realistic_Nerve

40. Thrift Store Wedding

A friend of mine from high school foolishly decided to marry the childhood friend that got her pregnant via a drunken one-night stand. They’d known each other most of their lives, but hadn’t seriously dated before the pregnancy. She bought a rather ill-fitting “proper” wedding dress from a thrift store for the occasion.

Honestly, it was cocktail-dress length in front and had a train in the back, it didn’t zip all the way, and it was supposed to be off the shoulder but was so tight that she wore it as strapless. The wedding took place on a Wednesday afternoon in the middle of nowhere. I stepped into the room where she was getting ready and she was bawling her eyes out.

I asked her what was wrong, and she said that she knew the groom was a player and that he’d cheated on his previous girlfriend with her. She added that she knew that he was only marrying her because of the baby, and that she didn’t know what else to do. She still went through with it.

LWiddows

41. Script Change

My father is a retired judge. Many years ago, he performed a rather unusual wedding. During the rehearsal dinner, rather than saying “I do,” the groom asked if he could make any positive statement. My dad said yes, but didn’t ask what the groom intended to say instead. Well, the big moment came on the wedding day, and he never expected the groom to say what he did. Instead of “I do,” he yelled, “I like fat chicks!”

My dad looked at the bride in shock, but apparently she just had a vacant expression (my dad’s words) and appeared not to be at all bothered. So, my dad pulled himself together and finished the wedding. We have no way to know if they’re still married, but I’d bet they’re not.

Revwog1974

42. A Colorful Situation

My mom gets her hair died blue every couple of months. When my sister was planning her wedding, I confirmed with her that my mom and I were going to the salon the week before her wedding and that my mom was going to be dying her hair. My sister was fine with it because my little sister, the flower girl, was also going to have blue hair. They would match!

Well, apparently the groom had a hissy fit to end all hissy fits about my mom’s blue hair. All of a sudden, it wasn’t okay for my mom to walk my sister down the aisle; instead, some random man that my sister had only known for a little while got to do it. The groom even called my mom names in the Church right before the rehearsal!

I started to yell at him, but the pastor intervened. Then the groom threatened to leave my sister at the altar because my mom had blue hair and would ruin the wedding pictures. Nobody in my family liked him before that, and he certainly didn’t win any points that day.

amberdaisywalker

35. Blast With the Past

I once went to a wedding where both families were Irish and the booze was flowing. At some point I used the men’s room and noticed the groom in a stall (the door was open) with someone who was not the bride. I didn’t know these people (I was my girlfriend’s plus one), and it might have just been some other guy in a suit, so I said nothing.

Some time later, my girlfriend states seriously “We should get going now.” Weird but okay. We grab our stuff and head downstairs. I see the suspicious fellow again in the stairwell going to absolute town on this same lady… My girlfriend grabs my arm tightly and keeps walking past, mumbling a thank you for the invite. I just smile and follow cause it’s all weird.

Long story short: yep, that was the groom… and the woman he was with was his ex-wife… All this went down at his own wedding to another woman (and the bride genuinely seemed like a great girl). The look that woman gave us as we passed was this smugly dominant “I always get what I want, heck yeah.” My girlfriend explained the whole sordid story to me in the cab on the way home.

I never got a follow up to that story, but 10/10 on the music and the drinks. Would tag along to an Irish wedding again!

ArtificeOne

41. The Family That Stays Together Objects Together

A friend of mine was getting married to a guy she had previously dated but broke off the relationship because one night he was drunk and tried to strangle her. They were apart for a couple of years (he supposedly cleaned up), and then started dating again. This guy was bad news. He would talk smack about her all the time, make her cry and stuff, but she kept dating him.

The worst I ever saw him treat her was after I’d already received their wedding invitation in the mail. I was out with my girlfriend when we see Mr. Toxic sitting at the bar, kissing some random woman. I whip out the phone and start filming. I go over to my friends’ house. Mr. Toxic’s car isn’t there so I show her the video.

She breaks down and says she says she doesn’t want to marry him, but feels obligated because all the reservations are already made. I’m like, okay she’s never going to end it so I go see her dad (we’re good friends). He’s a hulking 6’4″ 300lb. Harley rider with a handlebar mustache. When I show him the video, veins start showing up on his forehead.

Before I left, he asked if I could send him the video. I’m like, “Of course.” The next day he calls me up and tells me that the wedding is going to now be a “Dodging A Bullet ceremony with maybe a butt-kicking for the finale.” I told him that I would be more than happy to attend. Apparently, dad told my friend he’d never let her marry Mr. Toxic and they hatched an amazing revenge plan.

The day of the ceremony, Dad had a huge flat screen TV plugged in at the venue. When dad and daughter got to the end of the aisle, the flat screen with surround sound came on and the video played. Mr. Toxic was pasty white, sweating profusely. He did the perp walk down the center aisle, caught my eye with me giving him the finger too.

When he leaves, Dad says, “Let’s Party!” It was amazing. We had a great night. My friend danced her butt off and laughed a lot overall. About six months later, she met the man of her dreams. Just a really fantastic guy. The wedding is this September.

DeanSmartin

42. A Double-Decker of Trouble

I was at my good friend’s wedding. She’s a sweet girl and she’d fallen hard for a truck driver. Their relationship was long distance forever, so she was thrilled that they were finally getting married. When the priest says, “Does anyone object to this?” a woman stands up and says, “I do.” Turns out the guy wasn’t a truck driver but a married man from Florida who had two kids. He just said he was a driver so he could play her long-distance. Oh and obviously the objecting woman was his real wife. Awkward…

Chad_Ostapuscat

51. Keep It In The Family

Several years ago, I got a phone call from the maid of honor for a wedding I was going to attend (as a guest) two weeks from then. She was flustered, but managed to get out: “There’s no wedding, Groom called it off. He’s in love with someone else.” Well, I didn’t press. I was friends with both of them, so I knew that the full details would eventually make their way back to me. I could not believe what I found out.

Turns out, a couple weeks before the wedding, the groom called the bride and said he was coming over. They needed to talk. When he got to her apartment, he broke down in tears and confessed that he was in love with someone else. He loved her, but couldn’t marry her because he didn’t love her in the way a bride deserves. There was much crying and shouting over it all, but eventually, the bride recovered from the news enough to ask him who he was in love with.

“Well,” Groom said, “It’s [Bride’s Brother].” The wedding was definitely off at that point. Now, five or six years later, the groom and the bride’s brother are married and happy. However, I lost contact with the bride shortly after her wedding plans imploded, so I’m not sure if she ever forgave the boys for that one.

NexysVI

49. Playing Favorites

My fiancé and I have been together for eight years and engaged for three. I was doing my PhD program and was juggling planning the wedding. My fiancé took much of that work, but it was perfect because our dream venue was booked until after my graduation, so what we did is book our dream venue three years in advance.

It is really a beautiful venue, and the only slot we got was September of this year. My sister got engaged a few months ago to her fiancé. They were planning on having a spring wedding next year. They had no venue lined up, but had a few vendors lined up as well as a set date.  Yesterday, our parents invited us and our significant others to a family BBQ, where my sister announced to our extended family that she is expecting.

Everyone was so happy for her and my brother-in-law, who is a great guy. My Nan asked my sister if the wedding was still on the set date or if they were going to wait. because of the baby. She said no, that she hoped to move it to September. No big deal for us. We don’t have many out-of-town guests, so they could attend both weddings no problem.

Nan was happy and asked my sister if she needed help planning such a short notice wedding. This is where the horror started dawning on me. My sister then turns around and says, “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I was really, really hoping we could kinda, like, take your venue? I really cannot stress myself too much with planning a wedding while going to maternity classes. And I think it is so beautiful! It would really mean a lot to me.”

It went silent, but everyone was looking at me expecting me to say, “Yes of course everything for my little sister!” My brother-in-law looked very uncomfortable and told her that they had talked about this and that it was not okay to put me on the spot. But my sister just said, “Don’t be like that! My sister wants to do what’s best for me, so it’s no big deal right?”

I just said “Well, it kind of is. I don’t know. I have my heart really set on the venue.” Cue the crying. She stormed off. My family’s reaction infuriated me even more. Nan told me that I was being selfish because she needed the venue more than I did. I tried to defend myself and my mother said, “You waited three years already. Would it have hurt you to wait a few more months? When has your sister ever asked you for something?” A few comments later, my fiancé got really mad and we left.

Later, my sister called me crying and said that it was unfair that I always get what I want and that I could have done this one thing for her. Dad said it is just a venue and what matters is the person who you are marrying. He is kind of right…but we have been planning for so long. My fiancé is furious with my family and doesn’t even want my sister to come. Now my family is threatening not to come because I am being selfish and my sister needs it more than me because having a baby is too stressful.

My brother-in-law called me and apologized for the inconvenience. He told me he had discussed it with my sister and she had told him she would not ask. He is properly mad with her now and warned me that my sister is blaming me for “potentially ruining her marriage.” My father has sent me about five texts along the lines of, “I hope you are happy. Your sister hasn’t stopped crying since yesterday” and so on and so on.

My fiancé and I have decided to boot my sister from the bridal party and replace her with my aunt, who is the only family member that took my side. We have not decided whether or not we will invite my family as a whole. Furthermore, my mom took it upon her to tell on us. She called my fiancé’s parents and told them that it would be best if my sister gets it because she is pregnant.

My future father-in-law told them to screw off and basically ripped my mom a new one for expecting something so ridiculous. He said they were going to lose me if they kept playing favorites. So my mom is now crying too and saying that my father-in-law is a jerk. This is just getting so pathetic. It seems straight out of a bad soap opera. And then it practically became a soap opera.

Sometime after this, and after hearing I was upset about her selfishness and posted this story on the Internet, my sister started contacting me again and saying I was being unfair. That she is family and that she asked it nicely because she loves me. She also underlined the fact that the opinion of internet strangers doesn’t count because family is more important and I should focus on making my family happy.

The only text I sent back was this. I am sorry that you perceived it that way. I did not in any matter distort what happened. As you might notice I didn’t describe your tone nor exaggerated anything. Perhaps you have that night different in your mind than I do, but I digress. I am sick and tired of bending to your will. My whole life I have been your servant and your doormat.

Remember all the birthdays I had to share with you because you would throw a tantrum because you didn’t get presents? Or when you cried so that I would fill out job applications for you? But the thing that has hurt me most till now is when you ruined my graduation. I am done. I admit that I also spoiled you but I will not any longer.

 If you want to marry so bad before your baby is born, then you could look at [hotel x] that offers last-minute weddings. I have spent too much time planning MY wedding to gift it to you. And if you want to ruin our relationship over this, then go ahead. I will sleep sound and safe knowing that it wasn’t my fault. She only sent me a “Wow…You must love me so very much.”

And blocked me. She unblocked me this morning to send me a supposed message from MY wedding planner talking about rebooking the venue. Throughout this, my parents haven’t actually written me since the thing with my father-in-law. My older brother contacted me and wanted to know what happened because he got a weird story from mom and dad.

Mom had told him that previous to the BBQ, I had offered to give up the venue to my sister and that I humiliated her on the day—my brother wasn’t at the BBQ. I told him what really happened and he had no problem believing me. We talked a lot about our parents’ behavior and he confessed that his moving far away was partly due to our parents being jerks to us.

He told me that mom was mad at me for betraying my family. I haven’t written my parents because I have to come to terms with the fact that they love my sister more than me, if they love me at all. Anyway, we continued with OUR wedding.  We put passwords with the majority of our vendors and also with the venue directly. We didn’t talk to our planner yet, which is why my sister’s text worries me so much.

Also, we canceled the catering that my parents paid for. So short-term, we won’t be able to get full catering like we wanted to. But all our friends and my fiancé’s family will help us prepare a buffet, and everyone is going to chip in. That will be our bachelor party. As we will have to spend more on our food now, we canceled our bachelor parties and will have a family and friends cooking session.

We called my planner and she was actually really horrified. She told me she never had as much as talked to my mother or sister since the day we went to book the venue. She assured me that even if they were to call and say that I wanted to give it to my sister, I had to be present to make any changes. So we informed everyone that will work for us on our wedding and they offered to hire security for that day at a reduced price.

I am finally realizing just how toxic my family is. I will try to sort it out. If they apologize from the bottom of their hearts, they will be allowed into my wedding, but if not…Then well…I still have my brother, who will be walking me down the aisle, and my aunt.

paperweightfairy

47. Wedding Transference

I work in the industry and my friend is the wedding planner. He is a good-looking, straight male who has an amazing eye for design and detail. He can do everything from wedding dress design and execution to flowers, you name it. And his services are not cheap. He once had a bride who called him up a few days before her wedding.

She told him she couldn’t go through with the wedding because she was in love with someone else. The conversation went something like this: Bride: “I can’t marry him, I just don’t love him anymore, I think I’m in love with someone else!” Him: “What do you mean you’re in love with someone else!? Your wedding is in five days!”

Bride: “Well…I’m in love with you. You just GET me! I’ve never met anyone else like you!” Him: “…Do you know how much your parents are paying me to get you?!” She ended up getting married five days later as planned, and it was never mentioned again.

ClassicJenny

89. It’s All About Me, Myself, And I

When I was eleven years old, my cousin got married for the third time. I never really liked her because she was 37 when I was 11, so we didn’t have a lot in common. Also, she was pretty full of herself. The wedding itself was fine. Pretty boring, but fine. Then we get to the reception. We were told we had to sit down as soon as we got there.

Some people found this instruction weird and out of the ordinary, but I had only ever been to one other wedding before this one so I personally didn’t think anything of it. Her other weddings were when I was little, and no kids had been allowed to attend. We all sat down and the bride and groom then made a huge dramatic entrance.

Everyone awkwardly clapped for them as they strutted around the room with actual crowns on their heads. The bride then gets the microphone, hands it to her mom, and asks her to say something she loves about the bride. She then tells her mom to pass it on and says she wants everyone in the room to say one thing they absolutely love about the bride.

Not the bride and groom. Not their relationship. Just about the bride herself. It was one of the most painful things I’ve ever seen. Everyone was awkwardly trying to come up with things to say about her when it came to their turn. When it was my turn, I just said, “Your eyeshadow is pretty.” I felt so awkward and wanted to be anywhere in the world but there.

My older brother said “Pass,” which made her force a fake laugh and urge him to say something. He ignored it and she kept insisting, so he said, “Your parents,” and passed the mic on. To make matters even weirder, she then had the staff set up a booth where we could all pose and take pictures with a life-size cutout of Donald Trump.

She has since begun posting photos of herself with the cutout on Facebook constantly. She seems to think it looks so realistic, which it doesn’t. She even made a post pretending that she had been caught cheating on her husband with the cutout. She has posted pictures of herself kissing it and of it standing in her room.

These posts are always accompanied with captions like, “Oops, I just got caught with my side piece!” or some other cringy stuff like that. But that’s not even the worst part! Even weirder, the husband laughs about it and encourages it. Meanwhile, her daughter from one of her previous marriages deleted her from Facebook.

Nowadays, this daughter often stays with her dad because she just can’t stand her mom anymore. Anyway, my cousin and this new husband ended up divorcing a few months after the wedding. The reason why was truly disturbing. She had caught him cheating on her with an 18-year-old girl who was still in high school at the time.

Since the first time I had met him, I could tell that this guy had always given off bad, creepy vibes. This was to the point where even strangers noticed and wanted their kids to stay away from him. She married another guy a few years later, and they are still together and living happily ever after. I guess fourth time’s the charm!

MiceRekei

43. Whoops!

I work wedding bars often in between library shifts, and I saw a wedding where the bride never turned up to the altar and texted the guy 15 minutes before saying, “Sorry but I’m not coming.” It was super depressing, they went ahead with the ‘party’ and the groom ended up leaving at around half 7, the rest of the guests at 10.

What had happened was the bride had spent all day with her parents the day before and they apparently hated her husband to be and had convinced her not to show up. Last thing I heard was she came to his door the next morning and apologized, they’re still together as far as I know… Man was that an awkward work night.

Camero32

99. Missed Encounters

At a wedding of a college friend of my husband’s, we learned that the bride (his old friend) had been in love with him for over a decade. We learned this from the women at our table at the reception. We introduced ourselves while we waited for the bride and groom to arrive. They were horrified that we were there—and extremely worried.

My husband had NO idea that she had feelings for him. She bee-lined right for our table after the “introducing Mr & Mrs” thing—ignoring her family and leaving her husband standing alone. She clung to my husband and sobbed—lifting her head to glare at me. She had to be pulled off of him.

She repaired herself, then followed us as we tried to leave quietly—her parting shot was to stare at my chest and say, “Well I guess I know what I was missing all along!” Her new husband was in shock and my husband was horrified and embarrassed—he was completely clueless and would never have gone to the wedding if he’d know she was obsessed with him. It was bizarre.

streamstroller

101. My Way Or The Highway

I’m not a wedding planner, but I was going to be at a wedding as a bridesmaid. The bride-to-be took us—the maid of honor, another bridesmaid, and myself—out to pick out dresses. The bride’s mother and the groom’s mother also came at her insistence. We arrived at the dress shop only to find that the bride, her mom, and the groom’s mom had already picked out the dress she wanted us to wear for the wedding.

Okay, that was fine in theory, but we had been under the impression that we’d get to pick our own dresses. Whatever, it was her wedding. When we tried the dresses on, however, we realized something disturbing—they didn’t really look good on the two of us because we both had different frames and sizes. We came out, showing the bride and two moms, and the moms were in agreement that the dress they picked really didn’t work. The bride’s response, on the other hand, was jaw-dropping.

The bride was very upset that we didn’t magically look great in the same dress. She then started making snide, subtle comments about our appearances, implying that we’d need to lose weight to look good in them, and telling one of the other girls how she’d need a push-up bra to look “normal.” The moms ignored the bride’s attitude and flagged down an employee to help us find some alternatives.

We live in a small city, so the selection they had wasn’t the best, but the employee found at least half a dozen other dresses that come in the color the bride wanted. We tried them all on, but because we vary so much in body type, most of them didn’t look good on both of us. For example, the strapless ones looked bad on the busty girls, while the long dresses didn’t fit right on the short ones, etc.

The bride continued to make comments about our bodies. Finally, the last dress we tried on was generic enough that it looked fine on all of us…except the bride didn’t like it because it didn’t make us look “sexy” enough. To make matters worse, the dress had pockets. She absolutely did not want her bridesmaids to have pockets.

At this point, every single one of us was happy with this choice except for her. She reluctantly agreed to let us pick that dress but she was very clearly not happy. So then we picked out shoes. The bride told us we will be wearing the same shoes as her but in a different color. Weird, but again, we didn’t argue with her.

When we tried them on, though, there was a snag in her plans. I have very small feet (technically a 3 in kids, though some size 5 shoes will fit). The heels she wanted were sky high and strapless. When I put them on and tried to walk, my feet kept slipping out. They were also open-toed, so I couldn’t really stuff the front as I’d done in the past.

To top it off, just standing in them to try them on, the front was absolutely ruining my feet. I told her this, and she watched me try to walk in them only to have them flop off. Her mom asked me if they came in a smaller size, but they were fancy shoes, so no, they obviously didn’t make them for kids. The bride’s solution?

“Once you start to wear them, your feet will swell and they’ll fit then.” She then walked off. The bride’s mom assured me that we’d “figure something out” and bought all of our outfits as her condolences. I never got to know how that would have worked out, though, because the bride and groom simultaneously cheated on each other, and they called off the wedding.

The bride didn’t even have the nerve to tell me herself; I had to hear it from the maid of honor. We are no longer friends, and it’s sad to me that this wasn’t even the reason why. I can’t believe I let someone treat me, and other people she called friends, like that.

gildedheart

104. I’m Gonna Getcha

I was dating this girl who asked me to go to her ex’s wedding. We dated for a few months prior, but asking me to go to a wedding together felt like a serious commitment…I still accepted. I planned for the week off work and we went all out for this wedding. Half the time, I was trying to make the most of our time together, but she always went missing.

Fast forward to the reception. She made a scene in the most unstable and mentally sick way. In front of the groom, the bride, and everyone else, she said out loud: “I’m still in love with you. We literally have been sleeping together all week and I can’t stop thinking about you.” She quickly got escorted out after that.

The bride was clearly upset, but everyone tried to go about their business. As soon as I left, my “girlfriend” started completely ruining the hall and all the decorations, just throwing a fit on her way out. It was so embarrassing. I figured she was telling the truth since she was missing the whole time, but I’m pretty sure that everyone during the whole thing assumed this was too crazy to be real.

I definitely regret not seeing her true colors before, but when you work so much and try to date at the same time, you have very little time to get to really know some people. Time sort of flies by and you end up dating for a few months. Fast forward a month or two later…she got together with the groom and I’m pretty sure she has no regrets about wasting my time.

She probably doesn’t even feel bad about using me or even ruining that man’s marriage. This woman is seriously twisted.

khaingo

50. Privacy, Please

It was a bachelor party in Vegas. The bachelor hooks up with a girl, and gives her his cell phone number so they can continue the party that night. This backfired in the sharpest way imaginable. See, the bride-to-be is sitting at home with the iPad, getting all of the iMessages from the girl as they are coming in. She canceled the wedding that day.

hfi

Wedding ruinedUnssplash

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

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