These Awful People Are The Absolute WORST

Who’s the worst person you’ve ever met? I’m sure a few people came to mind instantly. A rude customer, a monster-in-law, or a backstabbing “friend,” we’ve all run afoul of someone so awful they just make our blood boil. The storytellers below know that feeling all too well, and they’ve shared the worst of the worst.


1. Back Off My Buns

There was an elementary school next to my high school, and some of the kids who went there were really messed up. They were like eight or 10, standing outside and being rude little jerks to everyone who walked past them. We were actually shocked with their vocabulary. Anyway, one day I was walking by, alone, eating some buns.

This one kid comes up to me with a smug look on his face and yells, “GIVE ME A BUN, YOU IDIOT!” The look on my face was must have been something like shock or disbelief as I replied, “No! Screw Off!” to him before I turned my back on the kid and started walking away to get to my next class on time. Big. Mistake.

I suddenly feel a slight push and weight added to my back. The kid was hanging on my back, pulling my hair and screaming “GIVE ME A BUN!” I felt like I had been attacked by an angry leper gnome. In my panic, the only thought I had in my head was “OH MY GOD! GET THIS OFF OF ME!” In some weird move worthy of WWE, I spun around quickly while straightening my back and loosened my backpack, which caused this little jerk to fly off me.

He spun around in the air and landed face-first on the concrete. He immediately started crying like the kid he was. I proceeded to walk over to him. His teary, fear-filled eyes stared up at me as I picked up my backpack. I turned my back on him again, picked up a new bun, and enjoyed the fading sound of that brat’s crying as I walked away, eating my sweet bun.

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2. The Revenant

I’m a single father. I have raised my son alone because when he was just a few days old, his mother suddenly decided she didn’t want a child anymore. She claimed she’s not ready to have a child and refused to even feed him or hold him. I wanted to give her some time, since I thought that maybe it’s just postpartum depression or something.

I was ready to be there for her, but she was serious. She packed her stuff and left the hospital. Her last words were that she wants to see neither me or our son ever again. I have never seen her since. But I suspect I know what really happened. I kind of feel like my mother-in-law had something to do with it. During her pregnancy, this woman was talking all the time about how young her daughter is and how inappropriate of a moment this is for her to have a child.

I don’t have any proof and I can’t tell anything for sure but I feel like she somehow secretly persuaded her to take this step for whatever reason. So I was left alone with an infant in my hands. It definitely wasn’t easy, as I was just 21 years old. I had to leave college and work very hard to give my son everything he needed. Fortunately, I wasn’t completely alone.

There were people who helped me to get through the hardest period, people who babysat him while I was working, who gave me advice on how to take care of a baby, and I’ll be forever thankful to them. When he grew up a little, it became easier. I could send him to a kindergarten and work without asking people to take care of him while I’m not there.

During all this time I hoped to hear from his mother, and hoped that she’d eventually come around and realize you can’t just leave your child like a worthless piece of trash. But even though I had left her in my contacts and she could call me or write me a letter or something, she didn’t. She never once used her rights to visit him.

When he was little, he often asked me why did his mother leave him, why didn’t she want him. I didn’t know what to answer because I always tried not to speak badly of his mother in front of him. Now my son is 25 years old. He’s a hardworking, educated young man and I’m so proud of him and I’m proud of myself that I was able to raise him to be a good person.

We stopped talking about his mother a long time ago. It was his choice. He was like—well, if she doesn’t want to be with us, then it’s her loss and there’s nothing we can do about it. But that wasn’t the end of the story. Recently my mother-in-law appeared on our doorstep. Without a call, without any kind of notification, she was just there and she had come to visit her grandson.

I couldn’t believe my ears and at first, I almost didn’t recognize her because so many years had passed. She was behaving as if she was a caring grandmother who had come to see her grandchild like she does all the time, not like she was gone for 25 years. When my son saw her, he didn’t recognize her either. I have shown him pictures of his mother and his grandmother just in case they show up one day but I never really thought that they would.

She ran up to him and hugged him just like a loving grandmother would, asking how he’s doing and commenting how big and beautiful he has become. He pushed her away and looked kind of confused. I told him that it’s his grandmother who has randomly shown up to visit him, and he was like ”oh” and walked away from her. She didn’t take this reaction well.

She looked at me and was like, ”What have you taught him if he doesn’t even say hello to his grandmother? He’s looking at me as if I’m a stranger! Haven’t you told him about his mother and me or shown him our pictures?” Well, technically you are a stranger, lady. He had never seen you in person, so why are you so surprised? You show up out of thin air after 25 years when he’s all grown up and expect him to treat you with love? Isn’t it kind of delusional?

My son said, ”Dad did showed me your picture, but I didn’t need a picture—I needed you to be there for me.” He was quite hateful with her, throwing question after question at her, and her responses were so incredibly narrow-minded and limited. It was like she wasn’t expecting him to ask any questions. He asked her where his mother was and she was like, ”Oh, she’s doing very well, she’s living together with a great man and she has two nice kids. She has gotten over that misunderstanding about your birth.”

She was acting as if her daughter was the victim here. As if we were the ones who left her. He asked her why his mother abandoned him, and she said, ”Well, she was such a young girl, it would be craziness for her to have a child at that age! She had her whole life ahead of her and a baby would only be an obstacle. You must understand it, she didn’t want to lose her freedom!”

Honestly, her daughter was older than me when our son was born; she was 24. I don’t think it’s too early to have a child, it’s not like she was 14 or something. Actually, age has nothing to do with it. I could have given up my son too, but I didn’t because I loved him and I wanted to be his father. At this point, I wanted to show my mother-in-law the door, but my son stopped me. He had one more heartbreaking question.

He asked why she didn’t want to be his grandmother. His mother left him, fine, but why did she leave him too? She said, ”Well, I had no time to take care of you. I was a young woman too, I had my life, too. And grandkids are only obligated to take care of grandparents when they’re old. So that’s why I’m here.” My son told her to leave and never come back.

He said he doesn’t want to see her ever again and he won’t help her with anything. As she was leaving, she attacked me like, ”That’s what I thought, a man alone cannot raise a proper human being! Such a rude and impolite boy, he would have turned out better in an orphanage than with you!” So according to her, the conclusion is—don’t have children while you’re young or if you do, feel free to leave them and then come back a few decades later and they’ll love you even though they have never received any kind of care from you.

But seriously, what the heck was she expecting?

RichardBmn

3. Stay Away!

My friends used to live in a gentrifying neighborhood near the beach in my city. They had a regular apartment, but someone bought the building in front of them—it was beach adjacent—knocked it down, and put up a few luxury homes. Among all the people who bought homes there, a crazy woman bought one.

She had a two-car garage, and a driveway, and best we could tell, she had one car. But NO ONE was allowed to park on the street in front of her house, which was clearly marked as a public street and where people had been parking since forever to go to the beach or because their building didn’t have parking. We could see this street from their apartment.

She went out and keyed any cars parked there. It took a while to figure out it was her, but eventually, people saw her doing it. All the neighbors warned their friends not to park there, and people started putting up cameras to get evidence of it. Some dude with an ugly truck started parking directly in front of her house every day just to mess with her, because he didn’t care if she scratched it up. Well, that just made her get even worse.

She slashed his tires. It got to the point where every time she opened her door to walk outside, neighbors would cuss her out through their windows. One night she went out in the middle of the night, and then painted the entire curb on that street red. Someone got it on video, and several neighbors called the city.

I think she got a talking to and a fine, and she had several insurance claims pending against her from damage to cars. She finally stopped. Everyone still hates her though, even new neighbors, who are told the story of her from older residents.

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4. Detour

I had a falling out with my best friend and, at one point, they wanted to reconcile. So we had a day together and it was good. About two weeks later, I was summoned to court on traffic charges and accused of refusing to appear. It turned out that this “friend” of mine had recently been stopped by traffic authorities, did not have identification on him, and claimed to be me.

As soon as the judge read the case report, including the physical description of what was supposed to be me, he looked at me and dismissed the case. I never saw that “friend” again. I heard much later through mutual acquaintances that they had taken their own life. The whole situation is very messed up and sad on multiple levels.

depthnoir

5. Cat Fight

I can’t believe I’m about to type this, but here we go. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for seven months. She’s amazing and we’re super compatible in a lot of ways. She is an outspoken vegan, and she made it clear at the start of our relationship that it was important to her that any potential partner had similar cruelty-free values.

Me, already being a pescatarian, had little difficulty transitioning to a fully plant-based diet. My girlfriend was proud of me for going cruelty-free and everything seemed well. We became “the vegan couple” on our college campus. But a horrific problem has come up. See, then there is my cat, Mittens…I’ve had her for three years and I adore her.

She’s such a sweet and cuddly cat. However, my girlfriend was always a little apprehensive around her, and she blamed it on not growing up around cats. After a while, we sort of made a tacit agreement to mostly hang out at her apartment instead of mine, so Mittens never really came up again in conversation. Until, well…

We began seriously looking at either buying a new apartment together or having one of us move in with the other. However, after a lot of talking and planning, my girlfriend sat me down and dropped a big reveal on me. She said that with this next phase of the relationship, she did not see a future with me unless I was willing to give away Mittens.

She said that she believed owning a cat is unconscionable for vegans, because they hunt mice and eat meat, and because the very act of owning a pet is a violation of vegan principles. I was stunned. I told her that I was absolutely not willing to give up Mittens, and Mitten had no choice but to eat meat, so I was reducing harm as much as possible by buying reputable brands of cat food.

Plenty of vegans own cats and think along those same lines. My girlfriend got mad and said, “How much flesh does your cat eat? How many animals perished to make all that food? Would you be okay with that being human flesh?” I got mad and told my girlfriend that I would have really appreciated her telling me about her cat opinions before we got serious.

She went on and on about cats hurting animals. I ended the conversation there. I was so angry that I left my girlfriend’s apartment, and I snuggled with Mittens when I got home! Although the mood soured a bit when my girlfriend sent me a link advocating for the extinction of domestic cats. Sigh.

I think it goes without saying that I am not going to get rid of my cat. However, it pains me to think that an otherwise wonderful relationship could be ending because of a difference in ideology. I don’t even really understand where my girlfriend is coming from because like I said, a lot of vegans own cats and they make it work.

Now granted, cat ownership can be a controversial topic in vegan circles and I probably would not have gotten a cat if I had been vegan at the time, but I have Mittens now, and she deserves to eat. Yes, I’ve researched vegan cat food, but Mittens has some digestive issues and my vet strongly cautions against it. I’ve talked to some of my vegan and vegetarian friends, and they all think my girlfriend has lost her mind.

Some have suggested that it’s not about Mittens and my girlfriend just wants an excuse to end it. So, we broke up, obviously. I would never, ever give up my cat Mittens. Many also said that this situation was about control, not veganism, and looking back, I do see a pattern of control on my girlfriend’s part. I was blind to it, I guess.

I called my girlfriend and said I was not willing to give up Mittens under any circumstances, and given the recent issues we’d had, and our incompatible views, I thought it was best that we parted ways. I said she deserved a partner that shared her values. She then asked if we were breaking up, I said yes. There was some anger on her end, but otherwise the situation actually went better than I expected.

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6. Beat Em At Their Own Game

You all, my revenge on my mother-in-law was GLORIOUS!  So I’ve been married a long time, a long time. My mother-in-law was mostly just annoying but had her awful moments, and I’ve been low to no contact for probably the last 10 years with her and my life has been divine because of that. My husband doesn’t mind because he gets lots of romance when his mother isn’t interfering in our relationship.

But way back, I tried so, so hard to get on her good side. I was such a sweet summer child. I thought to myself, she should be happy for my husband that he has me. I cooked and cleaned and threw parties and most people liked me. But she was sly, so my husband didn’t catch the nuances of her behavior. I tried to point it out, with little luck, because I had no experience with a woman like this.

We left for our honeymoon a week after our wedding, which was enough time for us to set up our small apartment and get cozy living together beforehand. We left for a week and left the keys with my mother-in-law to fetch our mail and various things. Y’all, when we got back, she had completely rearranged my kitchen, the living room, threw out some of my pictures and knick-knacks from our bedroom, and I swear she also tossed some of my lingerie.

I was upset, so upset. I cried to my husband, and he got angry at his mom, talked to her, then came home with the usual, “She can’t imagine why I’d be upset! She was being SO helpful! She didn’t mean to do anything wrong!” Then she started crying on cue and my husband was thrown for a loop, having never experienced woman-to-woman territorial rages.

He came home spewing her diatribe and simply told me that he would help me put things back. And he did, except for the kitchen—he only made things worse in there but not for lack of trying. My mother-in-law never even taught him how to butter bread. Sigh. But, I learned a valuable lesson. Whenever the mother-in-law was up to her shenanigans, she would wait until we were alone, look at me and do this evil smile with a nod to acknowledge her disdain to me properly.

I learned from the best, the very best. My mother-in-law was the town pillar; active in church and charity, and so sweet to the people she approved of. So, here is the revenge. My mother-in-law is old now, and still just as sneaky. If anything, old age has sharpened her skills, and she has taken on the role of helpless old lady quite fabulously.

There are volunteers who help her and bring her meals, sit and read with her, it’s all quite nice, really. She did a week-long stint in the hospital recently, and my husband got the key to her house to retrieve her mail, etc. Well, I made a copy of said key (without him knowing, of course) because I had a plan. During that week, I took some time off work and let myself into her house to rearrange, I mean, clean her kitchen. I also threw away some broken porcelain and other items, and took pictures off the walls and put them in the closet. Then I rearranged the linen closet, the coat closet, my mother-in-law’s closet and her bathrooms. Both of them.

I left the living room mostly alone, sadly, but I didn’t want my husband to catch on, see. Then, on the day my husband was supposed to pick her up from the hospital and bring her home, I offered to help him clean her house for her homecoming! He was mildly surprised at my offer, but I said I’ve decided to let bygones be bygones.

I will help, then get out of the way so he could help the mother-in-law get settled in. She can mostly live by herself, with a little help every day from friends and family. So we cleaned, mopped, and vacuumed. Got everything sparkly and clean. I went with him to fetch his mom and sat in the back seat.

When we arrived, my mother-in-law immediately noticed things were askew but she couldn’t tell what it was yet. Then she noticed the missing pictures. Mother-in-law: “What did you do with my pictures?” Husband and me: “What do you mean?” Mother-in-law: “You took my pictures!!!” Me: “Oh my, no mother-in-law, I helped him clean and that’s all.”

My husband confirmed that this is all I did. I asked if she’d like some tea, and she yelled at me to stay out of her kitchen. She went in herself and screamed, “What have you done?” I looked at my husband, all puzzled, and he repeats that he and I only cleaned the counters and dishes, and mopped. My mother-in-law was livid, so I told my husband that my presence must be upsetting to her so maybe I should leave.

My husband, confused because he had no idea why his mom was acting so outwardly hostile to me, agreed. So I cheerfully told my mother-in-law that I’d be on my way and my husband could call me when he’s ready to be picked up. That’s all he heard, but I did one more thing. He didn’t see me smiling at my mother-in-law because he was facing my back.

Then I nodded at her with her very own signature nod. She was livid. My husband told me on the way home, when I went to pick him up a few hours later, that she had accused me of all sorts of things, and that’s when I said, “The poor dear’s mind must be going.” He agrees, the poor thing is getting so old, after all. She should have been nicer to me.

I get to help pick her nursing home, and I know very well how to play the helpful supportive role. Thanks, mother-in-law!

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7. The Missing Spark

I started getting random power cuts multiple times a day, and had the landlord call the electrician out a few times before we realized that someone was turning off my main electricity switch by hand. The switch is in a room accessible by everyone in my building. When I told my landlord it had to be someone in the building turning it off, he said he had a thought.

I got a call back 10 minutes later. My downstairs neighbor had just then made multiple noise complaints about me. I guess the landlord had called and asked if he’d been switching off my electricity, and the neighbor chose then to actually complain. This is when I realized that all the power cuts happened when I was in my kitchen, right above my neighbor’s bedroom/where he spends most of his day.

I had thought my appliances were causing the power cuts before. It turns out he thought that turning off my electricity frequently would magically make me understand that I was being too loud when I used the kitchen late at night. When I didn’t receive the telepathic message that he was trying to send me via power cuts, I guess he got angry and did it even more!

Somehow, it got even worse from there. Every time I went into the kitchen, any time of the day, he would turn my electricity off. I had to leave my apartment, go to the other side of the building and turn it back on every single time. It happened 2-3 times a day usually, but at worst it happened 5 times in a day. I started tiptoeing and being as quiet as possible.

However, he listened for me and turned off the power to punish me for using my kitchen at any time. By the way, as soon as he actually complained, I started being as quiet as possible late at night, because I do stay up late and hadn’t taken care to be quiet before. But by now, he had decided I should be punished any time I use my kitchen.

The letting agents were unable to do anything without any proof, and installing CCTV wasn’t an option for some reason. So, one day a lady from the office offered to help me catch him. I met her in the street, she waited near the electricity box, and I went to my kitchen and started making myself a drink. The power went off.

I get a text from her saying that she had caught him, and the sting operation was a success. Right then, I hear an unholy tantrum begin below me. For the rest of that day he bangs, screams, puts on his vacuum cleaner for 20 minutes straight. Anything to get revenge, I guess. After this, the landlord locked my electricity switch away so only I could access it.

In between the guy being served an eviction notice and him leaving, he decided to just scream at me through the floor when I was in the kitchen, and go outside and throw stones at my window. I installed my own CCTV camera and the stone-throwing stopped. I was so intimidated by the thought of using my kitchen I actually lost weight before he left.

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8. Room Service

I live in the Eastern time zone of North America. My “friend” once texted my roommate, who was also the owner of my condo but was living in California at the time where it was 5:00 in the morning PST. In this text message, he claimed that I was high on illicit substances and having rowdy and inappropriate parties every night.

In reality, I was fast asleep when this all went down. Turns out he was the high one texting so early, and did this so that I would get blamed for the damage he himself caused. He was upset at me about something I stood up for and tried to make me homeless as a result. When you hear the backstory of what he was upset about, you will realize how truly ridiculous he is.

REASON: We were at a bar and he was very buzzed and high, sitting at a table. My other friend and I had literally got there just in time to miss a big disagreement between two other friends. The guy in question was pumped up and excited to fill me in, but the way he snapped his fingers and slammed the table to demand me to sit next to him was too much.

I said, “Let me get my first drink first, then I’ll walk over. Please don’t snap your fingers at me and demand that I do things.” Things escalated very quickly after I said that, to the point where he threatened to tip the table over. It was an ugly scene to say the least. And, next thing I knew, he was using this incident as his justification for trying to get me kicked out of our house.

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9. Love Potion Number 9

Monday, my boyfriend and I decided to make the 8ish hour drive back to our home state to live for a few months. Right before leaving, we got into a big fight because I wanted to stay at my mother’s house for a while. However, he doesn’t want me to, among other things I won’t get into. Well, before leaving we decided to eat dinner so we didn’t have to stop anywhere.

Fast forward to our drive, and not long after hitting the road, it all went so wrong. I passed out. I don’t even really remember falling asleep. I woke up one time for a while, drank some Gatorade that he gave me, and then I fell asleep again. I thought this was extremely weird because I wasn’t tired hardly at all and we didn’t even leave super early.

I kept commenting on how weird it was that I was tired the whole drive and slept 90% of it. Yesterday, the tension eased a bit, and he made a disturbing confession. He made the offhanded comment that he wishes he could drug me more when I “act out” and argue with him. I ask him what he’s talking about. He proceeds to tell me he put Benadryl in my drink.

That’s why I slept, so he didn’t have to deal with me. He literally said this as though it wasn’t that big of a deal! I’m still reeling from the conversation and completely floored. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not but something tells me I’m not, and it’s extremely messed up to put medicine in drinks. I don’t even know what to do.

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10. By Any Other Name

A guest walks into brunch and orders our smoked salmon plate. The only dairy in this particular dish is a ramekin of cream cheese that is served on the side. A couple of minutes later, I’m in the kitchen getting coffee for another table. I turn around and the smoked salmon lady has followed me to the kitchen. When I turn around and see her, I ask, “Is there something you need?”

She says, “I forgot I’m not eating dairy, so can I change my order to the buttermilk pancakes?” Confused at what I just heard, I ask, “The buttermilk pancakes? There is dairy in the pancakes…” “Well, as long as it’s not a lot it’s ok.” Lady…..it’s like the main ingredient. It’s in the name. BUTTERMILK pancakes. Do people really listen to the stupidity that comes out of their face holes??? I can’t.

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Tales from your serverUnsplash

11. I’m A Cool Boss

It was my first day at a pizza restaurant. This place was always SLAMMED. It’s really where I learned how to be a good server, because before that I worked at over-staffed burger joints or Italian restaurants. Things were moving pretty fast but I was doing surprisingly well. I had about 10 tables and I was used to three-four table sections previously.

I will never forget this couple that came in and sat down at table 24. They were an old couple. I’m talking both grey-haired and over-dressed to be at a pizza restaurant. I will say I did give them excellent service despite my frazzledness of starting a new job. I was feeling it, and felt great about handling all of my tables…until I did mess up.

The man at table 24 handed me his card to close out. I’m BUSY, like I didn’t even have time to pick a wedgie if I had one. I go to the computer and swipe his card. Admittedly, I forgot to print out the itemized receipt, which I get can be very frustrating. The man at table 24 had every right to be upset. But instead of asking me to grab the itemized receipt, he began to LOUDLY, in a small room, with a deep and firm tone, tell me how horrible I am at my job.

He said that it’s no wonder I only got as far in life as working at a pizza shop. He kept going on with these TERRIBLE comments and wouldn’t let me walk away when I tried. So now all of my other tables just saw me get ripped a new one, and I’m in the weeds after wasting time getting yelled at by this guy. The owner of the restaurant must have come in at some point.

He saw this man yelling at me, came up to the table, and did the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Owner: “Excuse me, sir,” he says to the man at table 24, “I am the owner of this establishment. I’m not sure what the problem is here and frankly, I don’t care. What I do care about is you belittling my waitress. So I’m going to ask you and your wife to leave and not come back to my restaurant.”

The man at table 24: “Fine, but you’ll be losing our business.” Owner: “I really don’t care, and don’t want people like you in my restaurant anyway.” It was the coolest reply I had ever seen. The owner then STOOD THERE AND WAITED for these people to leave.  After they left, the owner came up to me. He said: “Screw those people. You’re doing a great job and I wouldn’t have hired you if you didn’t show potential. If anyone else talks to you like that I want you to tell them to screw off and get out. I don’t want their money.”

Coolest. Boss. Ever.

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12. When It Rains, It Pours

It was an outdoor ceremony at a golf course with an indoor reception at the clubhouse. About an hour before the ceremony, the skies went dark and storm clouds began rolling in. I always tell my outdoor brides we need to call the wedding no later than 30 minutes in advance so we have time to move guests indoors, as well as any important items (flowers, decor, etc).

In this case, the bride had a beautiful indoor venue that could be used for both the ceremony and reception, which is why there was no tent. I suggested to the bride that she move her ceremony inside, but she said no. She wanted it outside. I showed her the clouds. “It’s Seattle,” she said. “There are always clouds.” I thought to myself, well yes, but these are storm clouds and you have 200 people sitting outside on a golf course…

She wouldn’t budge. At the 20-minute mark before the ceremony, it started to get windy. Nothing big yet, but this was just another sign that wet weather was upon us. She still wouldn’t reconsider. Several guests were then seated outside; though many others hovered inside the reception area because it started to get cold out. I told her this and warned her what would happen if it rained during the ceremony.

She still wanted it outside. When the ceremony began, everything immediately unraveled. First, it started to sprinkle. Bridesmaids were getting wet as they walked down the aisle. Shoes were sinking into the grass. Guests were looking worried. The bride walked down the aisle just as big wind gusts came. The rain started to fall in earnest, and it was too gusty to use umbrellas.

We weren’t even five minutes into the ceremony when the heavens suddenly opened and it POURED. Guests started running inside. The ceremony was still happening for the bride, but the guests were bailing. Musicians grabbed their instruments and headed inside. The bridal party continued to stand there like nothing was happening, much like the band on the Titanic.

There were maybe 20 guests left. It was an open downpour, so anyone left behind was just soaked. The officiant was rushing at this point; though, there wasn’t really anyone left to witness the vows. Before they got to the kiss, the lightning began. At that point, they finally bailed. The bride and bridal party spent the reception looking like drowned rats.

The bride was just ruined. Runny makeup, hair smushed. She had rashes on her skin from being wet all night. Wet lace and heavy ball gowns are also not easily worn wet. All the decor that was meant to be moved inside following the ceremony was ruined…Thousands of dollars on flowers and centerpieces down the drain. Literally.

And in the end, hardly anyone witnessed the ceremony at all, and they didn’t even get to finish. Bad bride.

MrsRossGeller

13. Out Of Her Mind

I’m a male officer, I’m dating a man, and my mother-in-law hates this. Yesterday I came in for my shift in the morning, without thinking about my mother-in-law at all. I got changed, had a cup of coffee, looked who I was going to be paired with, and when my partner and I walked out of the station to go to the patrol car, I saw my mother-in-law.

She did kind of come up to me, not close enough for a conversation but close enough so that I could hear her. She started to say something about my boyfriend and some money she needs. I saw her but I totally ignored her. I just walked past her without saying a word and went straight to the patrol car to start my shift. The fact that I ignored her annoyed her pretty badly, I guess.

She stepped back a bit, waited until we got into the car, and just before we turned on the engine and started to drive, she grabbed a rock from a nearby flowerbed and threw it into the windshield of our car. The windows of our patrol cars are quite durable, fortunately. It cracked but didn’t shatter and I didn’t end up with a face full of glass.

I wasn’t driving, my partner was driving and it was obvious that she aimed her throw right at the passenger seat where I was at. Then she probably realized that doing that to a police car in front of two officers in front of a station wasn’t the smartest thing to do. She turned around and took off running. I got out and ran after her. This pursuit wasn’t very long.

She only made it to the park that’s not far from the station when I caught her. And that’s when she started to make the biggest scene I had ever seen. She had no intention of calmly letting me put handcuffs on her. Instead, she dropped to the ground and started to yell for help.  Mind you, it was an early morning, but there were already quite a lot people in the park—some were walking their dogs, some were jogging, some were just walking through to get to wherever they needed.

She was yelling at the top of her lungs, “People, good people, help me! I’m being attacked! This isn’t a real officer! He’s trying to kidnap me!” and things like this. She was yelling for help so loudly that everyone in the park stopped whatever they were doing and looked at us. Everyone—men, women, children, dogs, and cats. There was not a single person who wasn’t looking at us.

You might think that I’m a man and she’s a woman, so I should be able to hold her down, but really it’s not that simple. She was hitting and scratching and biting. She was spitting at me. Also, during the struggle, she kicked me several times, quite hard, and it was really painful. Honestly, at this point, I had all the rights to tase her. I didn’t.

My partner came with a car, helped me, and together we managed to handcuff her. The next problem was getting her into the patrol car. Our patrol cars are like vans; the back door opens and there’s like a cage with a bench where you can put the person in. And my mother-in-law wasn’t going to get in there without a fight. Even with her hands cuffed, she was kicking the door, and spread her legs very wide so that we couldn’t get her in.

When we finally got her in, she was putting her feet in the doorway so we couldn’t close the door. While she was doing all this, she was yelling that we’re breaking her bones, that we have no rights to treat her like this, that this is against the law and still asking the people to call the real authorities. During my whole career as a cop, I had never had an arrest like this.

I have detained many aggressive people, many weird people, but this right here was the stupidest thing ever. We took her to the station, and if we had trouble getting her in the car, now she didn’t want to get out. She held onto the bars and we literally had to grab and pull her out. Once inside, my mother-in-law immediately demanded to see the captain.

She wasn’t listening when we tried to explain that the captain isn’t going to do anything for her and shouldn’t be bothered with this. She insisted that she has the rights to see someone superior, and technically she’s right. So we went to get a captain for her who recognized her from the last time she had gotten in a scrape with me (yeah) and wasn’t too happy to see her.

My mother-in-law said that she wants to complain about “this officer” while pointing at me. She said that I misused my power, used way too much strength on her, and didn’t even care that she’s a fragile woman. She claimed that I twisted her hands and brutally pushed her into the car. The captain asked to see my body camera, since this is one of the reasons why we use body cameras all the time.

If the suspect says one thing and the officer says something different, then you can watch the recording and see what actually happened. So, the captain played the recording for all to see. Then he asked her, “What’s this, ma’am?” as she was clearly ignoring my orders on camera. My mother-in-law was like, “This is me fighting for my life! It’s a survival instinct. I thought he would shoot me right in the head!”

The captain was like, “No, ma’am, this is you resisting. If an officer is giving you a lawful order, you’re supposed to listen, and if you don’t listen, the officer has the right to use a certain amount of force to detain you.” This is when she amped it up. She hissed, “I take no orders from gays!” while glaring at me. She was charged with vandalism, fleeing from an officer, resisting and assaulting an officer.

And just as she was going to be booked in, she suddenly started to complain that’s she’s not feeling well. She said her heart hurts and she’s dizzy and her blood pressure is too high and she wanted an ambulance. Everyone realized that she was faking, but just to be sure that we’re not mistaken, we called an ambulance. The medics came and examined her.

Just like we thought, she was fine. Her heart rate was normal, her blood pressure was normal, and she had no need to be hospitalized. I was just thinking, “What do you think would have happened???” The charges don’t disappear just because the person is taken to hospital. She probably didn’t know that even if she was hospitalized, an officer would have gone there with her and stayed with her all the time.

And as soon as she was ok again, she would be transported behind bars anyway. She wouldn’t sneak away if that’s what she was thinking of doing. The ambulance left and even though our captain is a very calm and composed man, at this point he seemed very irritated. He was like, “Ma’am, is the circus over or are you going to give us more nonsense?”

My mother-in-law then asked him if he was going to punish me and he answered that no, he’s not going to punish an officer simply because I was doing my job. And then she looked straight at him and went, “Are you gay too?” I froze. I couldn’t believe that she really just asked that to a captain. I know he’s not gay but this was probably the most inappropriate thing she could have done.

He knows I’m gay because I was forced to come out to him when my mother-in-law tried to cause troubles for me the first time. He ordered her to be taken behind bars immediately, and even then she still had the audacity to speak. She insisted on having a phone call so that she could call her son and he could pay her bail. I’m not sure why she thinks my boyfriend is going to bail her out—he didn’t do it last time.

I called him first and I told him that his mother is behind bars, and he seemed quite delighted as he’s so tired of her. The captain offered for my boyfriend to come to the station and see the recording if he wants, but we really don’t want to show ourselves as a couple more than absolutely necessary.

LimePopcorn

14. One Bad Date

I’m a full-time student getting my PhD at age 30 and I work full time as a server. I’ve been working at this Greek bistro for the greatest people for almost 15 years now. I started bussing at almost 16 and I’m now a manager. So a few months ago, it’s around six, and one of our regulars—I’ll call him Andy—comes into the store.

Andy works at a mattress store and always comes in for lunch. He’s an awesome guy, and he’s a big guy at close to 400 pounds. Anyway, Andy shows up after work with a woman. She’s maybe a good 10 or so years older than him, but it’s obvious they’re on a date. So we make a fuss over him. The owner’s wife gets him our best table and we bring them a complimentary glass of champagne.

He orders our platter of meat and she orders a vegetarian platter. They are eating, and suddenly I hear her gasp. Andy’s face is blue and his hands are over his throat. I go over and I give him the Heimlich while the owner calls 9-1-1. I’m giving him back blows when his date whacks me with her purse. “You’re hurting him, I took first aid and that’s not right!!”

She’s screaming in my face. He’s still choking, so the owner pulls her away from me and she’s screaming still. Andy’s piece of steak goes flying, and he’s then able to breathe. By now, the paramedics are there and—get this—his date is telling them I hurt him. On the contrary, the paramedics told her that I saved his life.

Anyway, they end up taking Andy in because he was wheezing a bit. She throws me a dirty look and follows them out. Two days later, Andy comes in for lunch with his co-worker and thanks me over and over. Then he tells me that was the first and last date with that woman. He brought his newest girlfriend in yesterday. She loved the restaurant and best of all, she’s nice.

couldbeworse

15. For Better Or Worse

I have a GROOMZILLA! I am the office manager for a photographer during weddings. I go along with her on wedding days to be an extra set of hands and to help gather everyone for the portraits. The bride and groom were doing a “first look” before the ceremony, which is when the bride comes up behind the groom, taps him on the shoulder, and he turns around to see her in all bridal, smiles and all.

We also get photos of other couples, the wedding party, and families out of the way before the ceremony, so the guests are free to spend the rest of their time enjoying the reception instead of ducking out to take pictures. It’s great because they get an up-close picture of the groom’s reaction to seeing his bride, which is harder to get in a church or ceremony. Everyone stands up when they see the bride at that point, and if you miss the shot, there’s no recreating that look on his face.

So this couple was doing their first look, and it soon became clear that something was terribly wrong. The groom had been on a party bus with the groomsmen for a few hours while the bride was getting ready in the hotel, so they were all HAMMERED…like they couldn’t focus their eyes when I went to grab the groom. I asked him to set down his drink for the pictures and he just rolled his eyes.

She came up behind him, already trying not to cry, then tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around….and instead of looking at her, his eyes immediately looked around for the drink, which he had set on a window sill. I kid you not, he reached around her, grabbed the drink, and took a long gulp while looking at her.

He put the glass down, then burped…in her face. He said, “You look nice” before spinning around and heading back to the bus. I followed after him as the photographer stood there, absolutely stunned. I told him, “Hey Mike, you still have a bunch of portraits to take before we get the guys off the bus…” Just as he turned around to answer me, the bride threw her bouquet and hit him in the chest.

He grabbed it and whipped it into the middle of a very busy street. The bride followed him into the bus screaming, and I followed behind her, but I couldn’t get around her without stepping on the dress. At the same time, another sloshed groomsman was coming back on the bus, trying to get around both of us. He bumped me aside and stepped on her dress, ripping part of the train and sending both of us stumbling backward.

He dodged the falling bride, and I kind of caught her butt to keep her mostly upright. I could feel her dress ripping more in my hand as she was trying to right herself. Somehow, it took a worse turn. At that point, all the guys on the bus were completely laughing their butts off. I mean, including the groom.

I had tears in my eyes because I just landed on my tailbone and my palm was scraped from breaking my fall. All I was thinking was, “Don’t touch the dress, don’t get blood on her dress, just get her standing up.” The groom told the bus driver through his laughter, “Just go. Just go man, she can meet us at the church.” I met eyes with the bus driver and I just kind of shook my head no.

The groom saw me. “Screw her, she’s not paying you, I am. Do you want a $100 tip? Drive.” The bus driver left. The bride was beside herself at this point. I drove her to the church, and they still got married an hour later, to my surprise. I drank myself silly when I got home that night. I just checked Facebook—they are still married three years later.

rumpie

16. The Grinch Who Saved Christmas

My husband and I have this board hanging on our wall. It’s a list of all the things we want and need, how much it will cost, how much we saved for it, and when we should be able to have it. It has things like a new fridge, dishwasher, nice knife set, wish list items, etc. I even include pictures, model numbers, or other specific descriptions for a lot of these items. I’m very proud of it.

My father and his wife come to visit on a semi-regular basis. My stepmom always makes sure to look at my board, comment on it, and express her sadness that we are unable to afford the stuff. Within a week or so, she will buy one of the exact things on my board…for herself. Sometimes it’s a smaller item like the coffee maker, other times it’s a larger item, like a motorized toy car for her children.

Her buying these things isn’t really what bugs me, what bugs me is her rubbing it in my face that she was able to “get it first” or how I was “copying” her when I do finally get the item. It’s super annoying and childish. Anyway. I was walking through a local store’s Christmas section right after Thanksgiving one year. I was looking for board ideas and happened upon a giant, ugly, and super pricey outdoor Christmas decorations set. Which gave me an idea.

It was definitely not my stepmom’s style. But hey, why not try? When I got home, I put the set on the high priority section of my board. I went as far as to erase the money I had pooled for other things and move it to this Christmas monstrosity so we could “buy” it sooner. I was hoping this trap would be tempting enough for her, especially if I made this set seem super important.

A couple days after that, my father and her visit. She looks at my board and asks about the set. I gush over it, describing it as the way to make my Christmas dreams come true. I really lay it on thick. On Monday, we go to visit my dad at my stepmom’s request. Sure as heck, she bought and put up the entire set. It’s ugly and over the top, and I hate it.

It’s hilarious. Immediately, she dives into describing why she just “fell in love with it” and how she “had to have it.” She’s making a huge deal on every little piece and how it was soooo worth the money. Finally, she concludes her gloat fest with telling me that I really do have great taste and she’s sorry she beat me to it. That’s when I dealt her the fatal blow.

“Oh, I don’t actually like the set. I just put it on the board and said I liked it to mess with my husband. He hates the over-the-top stuff like this junk. Glad you love it though.” If her smile fell any harder, it would have fallen right off her face. The rest of the visit she was quiet and didn’t say much. She looked like a kid who got coal for Christmas.

My dad kept asking her what was wrong and got a lot of “I’m fines” and then finally she got a headache and went to bed early. She now refuses to talk to me, with none of her usual texts or calls. Best Christmas ever.

uglybelladonna

17. Power Couple

Bartender here. This girl walks into my bar and I walk over as usual place a napkin in front of her. Then I ask her, “Hey! How are you? What can I get you today?” “Cosmo,” she says. “Alright coming right up—that’s a really cool dress, by the way,” I say. It was like one of those expensive skin-tight Kim Kardashian dresses.

It also had these metal panels going through it that lit up when she moved—I don’t know, it was cool so I just mentioned it. It was a very quick off-the-cuff comment. Not hitting on her or anything. Her response chilled me to the bone. She then gives me this “ew” look and goes, “One. I have a boyfriend. Two. I don’t date gay men. Three, hurry up with my drink before I decide you don’t get to work here.”

I suddenly stop, slightly shocked. A flood of thoughts quickly go through my head. Like was she joking…? Would someone think that was humorous? Nope. Witch was SO serious. My Turn: “In what universe do you think you can walk into a bar—insult the bartender—and actually expect him to make you drinks????  Silence. “Nah witch, you’re dismissed.” But it wasn’t over.

This girl comes back the next day with her boyfriend and she points at me as if saying “that’s him.” He goes, “Yo, I heard you insulted my girl. Do you know what happens when guys talk like that to my girl?” Ugh, here we go with one of those jerk guys who wants to put on a macho performance for his girl. These specimens are the dumbest of the dumb.

I go, “Do you know what actually happened?” He goes, “I don’t care what happened! You disrespected my girl.” At this point, he actually jumped over the bar and I jumped over the bar as well to HIS side. Then this guy jumped BACK over the bar to the guests’ side, at which point one of the bouncers tackled his dumb butt to the ground.

If my girlfriend acted like that to a bartender and they got mad, I’d be like “Yeah—that was a rude thing to say.” God, I hope those two don’t procreate.

AliensAreDemons

18. The Cautionary Tale Of Huggy Holly

This story requires some background, so buckle in. I promise it’ll be worth the wait. When I was six, bad things happened to me at the hands of someone I had been told I could trust. Part of the aftermath of that situation was lots of therapy and an introduction to a strange and wonderful thing called “bodily autonomy.”

I was told that I, even as a child, could tell other people that I did not want them to touch me. If anyone touched me without my consent, it was okay for me to tell them “no” and it was okay for me to be as loud and emphatic about this as it took for them to get the message. I could even push them away if they persisted! Adults might be upset if I said “no,” but that was not my problem, because adults are expected to control their emotions and actions.

At first, the only people I would allow to touch me at all were my mother, my maternal grandmother, and my aunt. It took a while, but eventually I was able to expand the list. Family members who received my permission were aware of the implications of my trust, and treated it as a serious privilege. People Who Were Allowed to Touch Me at the Time of This Story: Mom, grandmother, aunt, brother, grandfather.

People Who Were Not Allowed to Touch Me at the Time of This Story: Everybody Else on Planet Earth (This is relevant). Now, there’s a substantial age gap between me and my brother—about 14 years, because I was quite a surprise. At the time of this story, I was about eight years old. I was a small kid, and even now, I’m under five and a half feet tall.

I was a major tomboy, and my mom kept my hair trimmed into a shoulder-length bob because I was terrible at taking care of it. My brother had been dating a girl for a couple of years, and they decided that they liked each other well enough to get married. His mother-in-law-to-be was…interesting. Very, very touchy-feely, huggy-wuggy, smoochy-woochy, why won’t you get the ever-loving-heck out of my personal space-y; thus she earned the nickname of “Huggy Holly.”

Upon seeing pictures of me, she squealed that I was just the cutest thing she’d ever seen, and she couldn’t wait to meet me and give me a biiiiig hug! And pinch my cute round cheeks! And ruffle my pwetty hair! And kiss my widdle rosebud mouth! My brother told her no. “No, don’t hug my sister. Don’t pinch her cheeks. Don’t ruffle her hair. Don’t kiss her. Don’t touch her at all. Don’t even ask to touch her. If she offers you a hug, that’s one thing, but do not, under any circumstances, touch her without her express permission.”

Huggy Holly could not wrap her head around the idea that a child could tell an adult not to touch them and expect to have their wishes heeded. My brother has mentioned that he must have tried to explain it to her a dozen times. She just could not, or would not, understand. During the course of the wedding planning, there was a fair amount of communication between my family and my brother’s future in-laws.

I was brought up as a topic on several occasions, and every single time, my mother reiterated my brother’s warnings. Huggy Holly would always say, “Yes, I remember, but—” and as we all know here, “but” is shorthand for “Watch how fast I invalidate what I just said.” In this case, the “but” was always followed by weirdly rapturous comments about how adorable and darling I was and so on.

Moreover, she seemed to have unclear ideas of how this in-law thing works, because she kept talking about how much she was looking forward to “getting another darling little daughter” that she could spoil with fancy tea parties and dress up in pretty princess outfits, like she’d done with her own daughters. My mother must have so much fun dressing me up like a little doll!

I remember my mom laughing until tears came into her eyes during a few of these phone calls, because she knew exactly what kind of semi-feral wolf-child she’d raised, and no matter how much she tried to gently explain this to my brother’s mother-in-law, the information never, ever sank in. This woman believed with the holy fire of a fanatic that I was some kind of living, breathing Precious Moments figurine.

She’d be rabbiting on about this coochie-coo stuff while my mom was gazing out the back door, watching me roam the back yard, eating live ants and mud while building elaborate stages for the battles of my Thundercats and He-Man figures out of sticks, grass, rocks, and whatever mud I didn’t eat. When I could be induced to hold still long enough to be cleansed of accumulated filth and clothed in strange human garments, I was reasonably cute, but I constantly longed to fling off the constraints of civilization and go roll around in the dirt and play with the mangiest stray animals that a major urban area could produce.

I once tried to convince my mother that a huge, evil-eyed sewer rat was top-tier pet material and had bonded with me and I should totally be allowed to keep it. (She disagreed. The rat was returned to its natural habitat and went back to catching and eating pigeons in the alley behind our house. But I have now seriously digressed).

The day of the wedding rolled around. Because I loved my big brother and had opted to gracefully tolerate his chosen spouse until such time as I developed an actual liking for her, I cooperated with the efforts of my mother and grandmother to make me look presentable. I was wearing my very best outfit, which was a frilly pale-blue dress trimmed with white lace and, yes, it made me look adorable.

We disembarked from the car and went into the church to mill around in the pre-ceremony confusion. Suddenly, out of the crowd, this strange woman in a cerise satin dress which emphasized a bust that needed no extra emphasis and a hairdo like an explosion in the blonde factory came swooping at me with her arms flung wide, emitting a sort of teakettle noise.

I back-stepped fast and said, “No!” loudly and clearly, but on she came, her fuchsia lips scrunching into a kiss-pout that resembled a hemorrhoid pillow, burping out something about the “sweet little princess.” My entire assembled family—brother, mother, aunt, grandmother, grandfather, one uncle and his wife—all shouted, “Don’t!” at the same time.

It was probably the most organized as a group they’ve ever been. (My family is mostly Irish, which means we mostly fight with each other, except for my Czechoslovakian grandfather, who always watched the fights from a peaceful safe distance). My uncle, the person physically closest to the brewing disaster, tried to intervene, but the weird lady was moving like she’d been fired out of a ballista made of bad decisions, and frankly that particular uncle isn’t a fast mover even when not faced with a high-speed idiot.

Secure in my knowledge of Bodily Autonomy and armored with the assurance that defending myself from unwanted contact was the Right Thing to Do, I was prepared to act. So, as Huggy Holly stooped upon me like a Haast’s eagle upon a moa, single-mindedly focused on hugging the child she’d been repeatedly told by several different people not to hug, I took action.

I squared up, planted my feet, and hauled both fists back at shoulder level. “DON’T TOUCH ME!” I screamed at the very top of my lungs, and double-punched my brother’s imminent mother-in-law squarely in the breasts. Anyone who has ever been punched in the breasts knows that this is not a fun experience. Possessing a balcony that one could do Shakespeare off of, Huggy Holly had a fair bit of upholstering, but her momentum combined with the small contact patch of my eight-year-old fists concentrating the force resulted in a not-insignificant impact.

She reeled backwards, arms flailing Kermit-fashion, and my uncle just barely missed (so he claims; I suspect intentional action, but that’s fine by me) catching her as she toppled onto her be-satined butt, incidentally crushing the gigantic stupid frilly bow on the back of her dress. Having defended myself adequately, I shot into the cluster of my family members and hid behind my grandfather.

He was a short, cheerful, smiling, gentle old man whose heirlooms included a WWII Luger that he acquired from “a German officer who didn’t need it any more” occupied Czechoslovakia (you may draw your own conclusions). My uncle, who honestly looked as if he’d rather kick the woman, helped Huggy Holly back to her feet while she began to gasp and sob, clutching at her bosom.

“Why did she do that?!” she demanded. My mother calmly said, “We did warn you not to touch her. Several times.” Huggy Holly wailed, “But she’s so smaaaaaaaaaall and prettyyyyyyy!” “You know, dynamite comes in small decorative-looking packages, too,” my grandmother remarked, then turned to my brother. “Okay, where are we sitting?” That was literally the first time I saw this woman. She did not improve with further exposure.

GeneralBystander

Monster in lawUnsplash

19. Squirrelly Business

We had a couple living downstairs from us, in a condo, who thought that they were living in a single-family house on a 20-acre lot in the woods.  Among all the things they did to their neighbors, one of the craziest things they did was leave a note on our door threatening to sue us and make us pay for their Pomeranian’s surgery.

This was because my mom had a bird feeder on our balcony and the squirrels running up to try to get the seeds made their dog bark constantly. The dog had a collapsing trachea. They did not think that the fact that they walked her on a retractable leash attached to her collar, and that they would hit the stop button on it if she started running so she jerked so hard she flipped had anything to do with it.

Even the fact that they dragged her around by the leash couldn’t be a reason, apparently. It was obviously the squirrels. They dropped the threats after I filmed them walking their dog when they did their little stop maneuver. My mom tried to talk to them about it and they both denied posting the note, each saying that it must have been the other one because, “I don’t think it’s the squirrels, but my husband/wife does.”

They moved out after six months.

shiguywhy

20. Gossip Girl

I first met my ex-friend as a coworker. He needed a ride home since he didn’t have a car, so I offered. I drove him home after almost every shift for three years. He became my closest friend. I was 16 years old and had just started driving. He was in his mid to early twenties. This was eight or some odd years ago. Now, as a teenager, I made some bad decisions and wasn’t always the best guy. But that doesn’t mean I deserve what he did to me.

Fast forward to four months ago, when he told my fiancee every terrible thing I’ve ever done throughout my life, and detailed to her every reason she should leave me. He gave her a spare key to his house and told her that when she makes the right decision his doors are open. Apparently, he’s secretly been trying to end our relationship for almost two years.

He’s been feeding her lies and whispering in her ear about how bad a person I am so that he can have my fiancee join his fiancee and him in a three-way relationship.

Hastur_19

21. Three’s Company

So my wife and I have been together for eight years. We have a little girl who is five now and a baby boy who is two years old. I love both of them more than anything and I finally feel like I have everything. A beautiful wife, two healthy kids, a great career, and a big house. The token “American Dream,” minus the dog, since I’m allergic.

When we talked about kids before, my wife always said she wanted two. I only wanted one, since it would be easier and we’d have more money for vacations and stuff, but my wife maintained it’s important for a child to have a sibling. I grew up with four and my wife with none, so I guess I understand where she’s coming from.

After our son and getting through the baby years and sleepless nights for the second time, I didn’t want to ever go through that again. Both kids were very fussy and colicky. But when he was a year old, my wife began casually mentioning that she wanted a third. I would laugh it off, but finally, she sat me down and gave me a chilling ultimatum.

She said we have to have a third. I said no, we agreed on two, but she said she wanted four, so three was actually the compromise. I refused and said I wanted one, and we have two. She then got angry and called me selfish for taking away her dream of wanting a big family. A couple days later, she apologized and we were intimate.

In fact, over the past little while, I noticed her drive increased exponentially, but so did mine and I was happy to engage with her. After all, she was on birth control, I had a condom, and it was all good. Thinking back on it, I probably should have figured something was up. Still, I was barely handling two little kids and work on top of housework and yard work and everything.

I came home from work one day while the kids were at their grandparents. My wife had a huge smile on her face and she sat me down and showed me a positive pregnancy test, literally dancing in joy. My first thought was, “oh God.” My wife noticed a less-than-happy expression on my face and started screaming at me. She berated me for not being supportive and this was a “miracle from God” and I should be grateful.

I said I was sorry and hugged her and said I was super excited for the baby. My wife was delighted, and later that night she was calling all family and friends to happily tell them the news. When she was talking about the nursery and how we’ll convert my office into a room, I started to get a little suspicious. Everything was so well thought-out and it seemed like she’d been planning this for a while.

When she was asleep, I took the condoms out of the cupboard and ran them underwater. Holes. I nabbed her phone and saw she’d set a password. That was odd. Nevertheless, my wife has a terrible memory, so I tried her birthday and it opened. I saw texts that made me go white as a sheet. They were of her best friend of my wife complaining how I wouldn’t come around to a baby.

Her best friend suggested to “arrange an accident” with a winky face. My wife agreed and said she was going to come off of birth control. It went on for a little while, ending with my wife saying that yes, we were going to have a third. So I woke her up immediately and asked her if this had really been a “miracle”? She got that deer-in-headlights look and burst into tears.

She wailed and then she got angry. Through tears, she screamed how I had no right to go through her phone and it’s her choice whether or not she wants to take birth control; the side-effects are bad and she was sick. She also brought up that if I really didn’t want a third kid, I should have had a vasectomy. She told me to go sleep on the couch.

I laughed out loud and said no, I’m sleeping here, you’re leaving. So while wailing, she packed a bag and left to her parents. When she called the next day, I told her I just need some time to myself. She said that’s fine, but I need to come around for our child. I told her I wasn’t sure if it’d be “our child” and she cried more.

It’s been two weeks since then. We’re back in the same house, and she constantly keeps on stopping me and trying to get me excited for our kid and planning the nursery and names and how happy our kids will be to get a younger sibling. I’ve been ignoring her entirely. I don’t know if I should leave her over this. I don’t trust her anymore.

She entirely betrayed me. I’m angry. But I have another child on the way.

throwrawifebabytrap

22. Keep Em Coming

Last night I worked a table of 14. They were all terrible people, the douchiest people I have ever come in contact with. The royal family of Worthless Jerk Land. One guy sits down and orders a pint. He says, “Every time you come to the table I want you to have a pint for me.” I thought he was probably just joking, so I leave and come back.

He says, “Where is my pint? Did you really forget what I told you like two minutes ago? Wow.” So I said, “OH! I am so sorry, it won’t happen again.” So, for the next two hours, no matter what, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I approached the table I left a pint. After about 45 minutes, the drinks began to pile up. I just didn’t ever stop.

Every time I put a drink down, he said nothing. If he would have acknowledged my presence and told me to stop, I would have. He said nothing. I started to feel bad, for a couple of minutes…and then he yelled at me like a dog to get the food out faster. THAT IS WHAT HE WANTED. I just want to reiterate that. HE ASKED FOR IT.

Also, I was watching him drink. If at any point his behavior or consumption increased, I would have stopped. He walked out the exact same way he walked in. Like a jerk. Anyway, it got so bad that the pints were SURROUNDING HIS SEATING AREA. Just glasses and glasses and glasses. It was incredible. I make my own drinks where I work, as we don’t have a typical bar, just a large server station.

A friend of King Doucherbottom even tried to take one that I put down, but I grabbed it. Then I said, “Sorry sir, this is your friend’s drink. I would be happy to get one for you if you like.” Long story short, he ended up buying 25 drinks at eight dollars a pop with a 20% mandatory auto-gratuity on the table. He maybe drank four.

I have never felt so good in my life. It doesn’t pay to be an arrogant jerk, folks! This was a crowning achievement in my seven years of serving. I work at a place where some people come in and treat me like a piece of stew meat, and I have learned to play the game in order to make money. I love my job and the people I meet, but I get stepped on a lot. It’s nice to win one for once.

No bartender was involved. I can’t deny the illegality of it, but I do not regret it! The bussers enjoyed the undisturbed drinks after he left, too. I felt so good bringing them back in a bus tub of ice. It was like seeing the excitement of children on Christmas morning. My manager saw the bill and was angry, but no reports of anything we would be liable for as of yet! And there was a sweet twist at the end.

They split the bill seven ways, and they did not even look at the charges. I put down the bill and the cards went on top. Their total bill was about $1,200 with everything included. This not common for a table of 14 where I work, but not surprising. I came out making around $240 before tip out. So all in all, a very good evening for me.

purplebikeshorts

Tales from serversUnsplash

23. The Unhappy Hippy

I worked a wedding where the bride and groom were hippies, while the groom’s father was the chief of the local police. They were all from the same little town. One side of the room was full of officers, and the other side was full of dread-locked, patchouli-wearing, barefooted hippies. After dinner was over, the entire hippy crowd went outside and stood in a huge circle to get high while the officers looked on with utter disgust on their faces. It was epic—but then it got weird.

The bride was off her rocker but eventually came to her senses when she caught wind that someone was planning an after-party without her approval. She didn’t like that one bit. She started screaming at the top of her lungs, “WHERE IS SHE?” over and over again while storming around. When she found, the girl, a bridesmaid, she proceeded to freak out on her.

It was in the middle of the dance floor, in front of 300 people. The bridesmaid started to cry and the bride completely lost her mind. All anyone could do was stare with their mouths hanging wide open in disbelief….the words that came out of that bride were some of the absolute worst. Several people tried to step in, but the bride lashed out at everyone.

It was the single most disgusting thing I’d ever seen. The girl ran off and the bride proceeded to pass out on a couch in the bathroom. Classy girl. When it’s your “big day,” for the love of God, please be of sound mind.

Hippydippy420

24. A Tough Transition

I split custody of my transgender daughter with my ex-husband. My daughter is 16 and only came out to us as trans about a year ago. We also have a 14-year-old son. Custody is an uneven split in my favor, and my ex gets every other weekend as he moved a few hours away. I am bisexual, and my parents kicked me out when I came out to them. Eventually, a gay couple adopted me. Meanwhile, my ex-husband was raised by very conservative, very religious people, and not the good “love one another” religious; the “Feeling gay? Jesus should fix that” religious. So when my daughter came out to us as trans, I definitely took it more in stride than my ex did. In fact, my ex still hasn’t fully accepted it.

My daughter is a typical “girly girl,” far more than me, and we have mother-daughter days where we get our nails done and buy her some clothes. She’s been growing out her hair and it’s a little below her clavicle. My ex mother-in-law has these two specific photos that she’s obsessed with. The first photo is of my ex father-in-law and his father.

It was taken on my ex father-in-law’s 16th birthday; he’s out in front and his dad behind him, who has his hands on his shoulders. Both men in the picture are wearing suits. The second photo is from my ex’s 16th birthday. It’s a recreation of the first photo, but now my ex is in the front and his father is behind. Before my daughter was born, when I was still pregnant and we were told she’d be male, my mother-in-law immediately got excited about the idea of recreating that photo when our “son” turned 16.

My daughter turned 16 at the end of September. I had pretty much forgotten about the photos until she turned 16, but then I didn’t hear anything about it from ex or his mother and figured that since they no longer had a 16-year-old son to take the photo with, they’d just leave it alone until our actual son turned 16. On Wednesday, my son got sick so I texted my ex to say that he wouldn’t be coming over this weekend.

On Friday, I brought my daughter over as normal and then headed off. I told her to text me if she needs anything but I needed to get home to look after her brother so it might take me a while to get there. Still, I put some money on her card so if she needed to get home quickly she could. The plan is always I do drop off Friday night, straight after school, and my ex drops them home Sunday night.

My daughter came home Saturday afternoon, fresh off the train, a full 24 hours early, with a short, uneven, chin length bob. She told me that she’d woken up Saturday morning and come downstairs to see my mother-in-law and my ex. My mother-in-law said they were taking a photo for Christmas cards…and then handed my daughter a suit.

My daughter explained that suits aren’t really her thing but this woman insisted and my ex agreed, leaving my daughter feeling like she couldn’t argue. She put the suit on. My ex mother-in-law then picks up the kitchen scissors and told her to sit for a haircut. My daughter says no way, and my ex then suggests she tie her hair back as a “compromise.”

They take the photo. At some point after taking the photo, my daughter sits down and turns her back on my ex mother-in-law and the entire ponytail gets cut off. At this stage my daughter runs upstairs, gets changed, grabs her phone and card, and tells both my ex and her grandmother to go screw themselves and leaves. My daughter gets the first train home.

I’ve done my best to even out the bob. I am now looking into fixing it so she doesn’t have to go to his place ever again. The custody agreement was made over a decade ago and both kids are now teenagers. I can see my ex putting up a fight if they just stopped going, so I’m going to have to go the lawyer route and see if I can’t renegotiate custody.

Permalink

25. Free For All

We rented a house from my mom’s coworker who grew up in this house and was renting it out. Across the street was Jeanette, an 80ish-year-old lady, who had lived in that house most of her life and knew our landlord very well. Well, because she knew the landlord, that meant she felt she could come into our house whenever she wanted.

She watched us through her window and had every excuse to come by. I have never really locked my doors, but obviously, we started to. It didn’t stop her. If she knew we were home, she would ring the doorbell incessantly. Our blinds always had to be down, living room lights off, so she wouldn’t know we were home. Just got in? Quick, run inside before Jeanette sees you.

We saw her peering out of her blinds on a regular basis. One morning was my breaking point. The doorbell was going. I hid in the bathroom to pretend that I wasn’t home. How did she see me?? The doorbell stopped, but the doorknob kept rattling. She tried for five full minutes to open our door. It probably would have been longer, but I gave up and let her in.

Some of the notable things that she did/said included coming in when my husband was cooking and calling him a good little housewife. She also told our neighbor he shouldn’t be dating his daughter. They were, of course, not father-daughter, and were in fact a 40-year-old couple, and there was not actually a big age difference.

Why didn’t I tell her to go away? Look, I’m a nice midwestern girl. I can be confrontational if someone is being mean, but she was just…lonely? A tad crazy? But harmless. It’s like she was a character from a sitcom…we didn’t know these people existed.

Outside_Cod667

26. Fishy Behavior

I asked my best friend if he could stop in daily to feed my fish and test my water while I was out of town for two weeks. I ran a decent saltwater tank. It was a nice 150 gallon bowfront and gorgeous. I came home to a horrible sight. The tank was completely nuked. That means the fish were all dead and the tank was full of parasites. Turns out the friend didn’t stop by even one time. I gave him $200 to do this, and he said, “Yea, no problem. It’s on my way home from work anyways.”

A lot of folks are usually interested in hearing the aftermath of this situation. When I got home and saw my tank nuked, I went to my friend’s house and confronted him. He basically shrugged the entire thing off. He claimed he had just forgotten and acted like I can just start a new tank, like it wasn’t a big deal at all. I was in such a rage that I thought it best to just leave or I would hurt him bad.

So I went home, had a good cry, and proceeded with cleaning up. I sold off the equipment and gave up for about three years. I’ve never spoken to the guy again and have zero intentions of ever doing so.

averagesizefries23

27. The Pains Of Being Pure

My fiancé proposed to me about eight months ago. We decided on having a relatively small wedding, which is in two days. Everything was going great. He seems absolutely perfect and we are very much in love. I am a virgin and so is he; he wanted to save it for marriage and I wasn’t fussed, so I agreed to saving it, too.

He has told me before this that in his family, the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. I laughed this off as it seriously sounded like a massive joke. I was so, so wrong. He was super serious. He wants me, the night before, to open my legs up in a small ceremony-type thing so his dad can check me while he, his brothers, and uncle can watch so that they know I am still “pure.”

I told him fat chance I am going to do that, and he was begging to me to go through with it and saying how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me but his mom did and it will prove how much I love him and that I have nothing to hide anyway, as I am still a virgin. I left and he was crying, it was very dramatic.

So I went and talked to him this morning I told him that his father is not going to look at me and he needs to respect that. He was adamant that it needs to happen, and then it got more brutal. He accused me of lying about my virginity. I was trying to be calm and rational, but he was not having it and just became more and more angry.

I told him if he really loved me, he would stand by me on this and tell his father no. Instead, he slapped me and said he didn’t need to prove anything. So I ended it and left him. I am currently at my friend’s house being miserable and eating pizza, which at least is pretty fun. Either way, I can’t help but think that I dodged a bullet on this on.

FarReference3

28. Fast And Fresh

So, where I work we have the option for people to pre-order food from their phone because I guess that’s the way it is nowadays; everybody wants everything fast. The system is kind of messed up, though, because sometimes they call in for the food and pop in five seconds after as if they ordered from the parking lot. So it obviously won’t be ready yet.

Anyways, this lady did exactly that, but thankfully it was a really small order so I started preparing it immediately. She walked up and I’m guessing it took me about 30 seconds too long, so she starts going “HELLLLLLOOOO!?” like three or four times. I walk over, smile at her, and give her the stuff. She then starts yelling at me as if I’m her child.

She’s yelling something like “THIS ORDER WAS ON-THE-GO WHICH MEANS IT SHOULD BE READY THE MOMENT I GET HERE SO NEXT TIME DO YOUR JOB AND HAVE IT READY.” This was out of character for me because I’m the nicest guy if you’re nice to me, but I kind of just looked in her direction and tiredly murmured, “Screw off.” She started flipping out and yelling more.

“EXCUSE ME!? EXCUSE ME!? WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” I lied and gave her a fake one. She told me to get a manager. I went and got the manager, and at this point I was enraged. I briefly explained what happened, and when my manager got over there the lady started being rude to her, saying things like, “Oh, he WILL be fired. I can guarantee that.”

She called corporate and all the managers and owners got involved. I talked with the owner on the phone, and the owner was only upset that I lied about my name. The owner was saying things like, “In the future, this is how you handle it,” so I assume I still have the job. She did mention that she HAS to call the lady back and apologize.

Anyway, if I get fired…my God, was it worth it. Telling this lady to screw off was the most satisfying thing I got to do all year.

theoffrepeater

29. Mistaken Identity

On my day off, I scheduled a lunch date with a guy from school, but traffic was brutal so he was running late. I was sitting at my table, looking at the menu. Note: It wasn’t the restaurant I work at, it wasn’t the same kind of food as the restaurant I work at, and it is geographically nowhere near the restaurant I work at. A woman came up and took my menu out of my hands.

“Why are you just sitting here? We’ve been waiting for service for 45 minutes.” No, they hadn’t. They came in the same time I did, 10 minutes ago, and they had already gotten drinks. “Ma’am, I don’t work here.” I didn’t recognize her at this point. “Don’t lie to me, you’re a waitress, you served me just last week, don’t you remember?”

I vaguely remember her coming into my restaurant now because she complained her meal wasn’t served with hot sauce then sent it back because it was too spicy. I tell her, “I am a waitress at local Mexican restaurant but I am not a waitress at local burger bar.”  She says, “Same difference. You’re a waitress. Get a pen and paper and take down our orders.”

“I am a waitress, but not here. I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch like you are. I am not employed here in any capacity.” To which she replies, “But you’re a trained waitress and this place is clearly running behind. Don’t you people take an oath or something?” Well, this lady asked for it. I rarely get to stand up to this kind of stupidity in my role as a server, because 99.9% of the time it happens while I’m actually at work.

So I went over to their table with a pen and paper from my backpack. I wrote down all their orders. I said it would be 45 minutes and to just sit tight. I even brought over ketchup they asked for (just grabbed off another table) then…….I left. I texted my date to meet me at a place a few blocks over. The next day, the lady had called my boss at my actual restaurant, as well as totally unleashed on the manager at the restaurant I was dining at.

I felt bad when I realized the tough spot I’d left the people who actually work there in, so I went back the next day to apologize and follow up on the aftermath. Thankfully, they were chill and we had a great laugh over it. They were like, “We were so confused because she described the server with explicit details but no one remotely like that works here so we thought she’d lost her mind.”

My boss knew who I was from her description and told them he takes this very seriously and asked what day this occurred. Then when they told him he said, “You must be mistaken, because that’s that server’s day off, and she wasn’t here.” After some irate yelling and screaming at my very friendly manager about how I still need to “represent the restaurant wherever I go,” she gave up.

Now to just cross my fingers she doesn’t come by my actual restaurant!

tamiraisredditing

30. Some Like It Hot

I had this client book me two weeks before her actual wedding. I regret taking it to this day. She had no transportation to take her home at the end of the night. I asked her repeatedly what her plan was, and she told me she would just refrain from drinking and drive herself to her honeymoon spot. She never told me where that was, even though I kept asking.

Fast forward two weeks. A massive tornado just went through the area the day before her wedding, so there were power lines and trees blocking every entrance to the highway in the boonies of Maryland. I got up early to deal with the issues at the venue—there was no electricity on a 100-degree day, so that was a huge problem. I got a call from her around 6 am saying she realized she now needed transportation.

Fine, I decided I’d find it for her. “One last question, where is this mystery honeymoon spot?” I asked her. Turned out, it was hours away in West Virginia. I called every Maryland-based limo company and begged them to find someone to drive into the Maryland countryside at 11 pm and then take them to West Virginia. Finally, someone relented and I called the bride to tell her the price. Complete. Meltdown.

“Well guess what, you requested that at the last minute, so you’re going to pay whatever they want to charge you,” I told her. The wedding itself was a complete circus. The bride hated her hair and makeup and made it very well known to me, even though she had personally booked the stylist. As it was 100 degrees out, the original unshaded area was going to be terrible for the ceremony.

I suggested we moved it somewhere cooler for her comfort, like underneath this beautiful centuries-old tree. She refused, but as guests arrived, they did nothing but complain. I decided to say screw it and moved the ceremony to make everyone happy. It was a one-hour traditional Jewish ceremony and no way was I going to let people suffer in the sun.

After the ceremony, I had to wait outside the bridal suite while the couple had a wedding ceremony…which is something I never want to witness again. That ceremony went way over schedule, thus extending cocktail hour and shortening the reception. The bride freaked out that she lost out on dancing time and blamed it on me.

At the end of the night during clean-up, the mother of the bride started throwing decor in her car rather than let my team do the load out. As soon as she left, I noticed my emergency kit was nowhere to be found. I called her and she claimed she never saw it, even though it was next to the decor we had started to pile up.

The next week, I got a call from the venue saying they saw a car throw a bag out of their window onto the steps of the venue before speeding away. Alas, it was my bag and I had to drive for over 90 minutes to go fetch it, even though the mother and bride lived super close to me and had my address. To top it all off, I got a heat stroke and my poor assistant had to drive us home at midnight.

MorallyCorruptBae

31. Daddy Issues

“My son is your children’s father and there’s nothing you can do about that.” This is the exact quote my former mother-in-law screamed at me in my own driveway back in 2006. All while her worthless, addict son literally hid behind her. My girls were three and six and my fiancé had already taken them into the house. What set her off was hearing my kids call him “dad.”

We hadn’t taught them this, they had just started doing it because her precious son only saw my girls four or five times a year. So here I have this garbage human that literally had his mommy fighting his battles, who didn’t answer his phone when I called, didn’t work or pay child support, and didn’t even know our youngest daughter’s birthday or how to spell our oldest child’s middle name.

And then I have this fiancé, this sweet, kind-hearted man who fell in love with me and my girls, who said to me when he proposed, “Those girls deserve a dad and I want to be it.” This guy wanted the job, so why should I be dealing with this fool and his mother anymore? I replied to her, “Nothing I can do about it, huh? I guess we’ll see about that.”

That was the last time she saw my kids. I never called her son again and I stopped answering her phone calls. It’s amazing how quickly he disappeared when I stopped forcing him to do his job. My fiancé and I married that fall. We filed adoption papers after Christmas. My ex didn’t contest it. He didn’t show up to court. His mother showed up on my doorstep on Easter but my husband told her to take a hike.

My children are 20 and 17 now. They don’t know my ex. In 14 years, they have not seen or heard from him. No phone calls or birthday cards. No social media requests. If he walked by them on the street, he would just be any other guy to them. He’s been completely erased from my children’s lives. He does not exist to them. He is not their father. So yeah, I guess there was something I could do about it.

WaymoresBlues

32. A Cat Lady (Not So Much)

I have this neighbor lady who makes a big issue out of one of our cats and she can never just leave us alone about it. One of our cats was hit by a car at a young age and as a result, she’s a few cards short of a full deck but for the most part, she functions normally. Well, one time the cat was outside and found its way onto neighbor lady’s porch.

So, neighbor lady brought her over to us and explained that our cat got into her porch somehow. We thanked her for bringing our cat back and made sure to not let it happen again. Everything about that interaction seemed perfectly normal—we were so wrong. We later found out that she had reported us to the authorities because our cat was “very thin and hungry like they were being starved.”

This was even though that cat was a chonker at the time. It turns out she had done it to our other neighbors who have cats too. The cats don’t even have to leave the yard, if the cats are out of the house then according to the neighbor lady they are being neglected and starved. She’s, suspiciously enough, never done such a thing to our neighbor who has dogs though, even though that neighbor regularly plays with her dogs outside.

Straight_Ace

Crazy neighborsPexels

33. I’ll Have What She’s Having

This was the crummiest act anyone ever did towards me. I had just started dating a guy in our friend group. We were in all different classes but he was in the same class with her a lot. As soon as we started dating, she became very clingy towards him. She was always hanging onto him, flirting, and just overall acting like she was interested in him.

After two months of us being together, he broke up with me. I was heartbroken. And as soon as he and I weren’t together anymore, she stopped acting the way she had been around him. It was suspicious for sure, but I just wanted to think she was still my close friend. Then, I confided in her that I really liked another guy and was ready to move on.

She just so happened to be in a summer play with this guy that I wasn’t a part of because I was working all summer. She starts going on and on each time I see her about how much people think she and him are a couple and how she is always flirting with him. It made me realize that the only reason she was doing all this was because she wanted my attention on her, even if it meant stepping on her close friend’s feelings.

I stopped confiding in her after that. A few years later, I met and married my husband. She messaged him on Facebook to congratulate us and “interrogate” him, since I was “her dear friend.” She ended up getting flirty quickly and my husband stopped responding. I also have an ex-friend who did similar things, on top of being emotionally manipulative, but it wasn’t as obvious other than the “accidental” nude photos she sent to my husband.

breentee

34. This Was A Test, And You Failed

I need some help processing this. The person I’m dating (together 3 months), I’ll call him “Dan,” recently invited me out to dinner to meet some of his co-workers. The first red flag was he invited everyone out to a Hooters, and said they chose that restaurant because it’s close to where they work and is easy to get to.

Which is true, but there are several other restaurants nearby that offer better food and a better atmosphere. Before he invited me out to dinner, he half joked that his co-workers (all of them are male) didn’t believe that he was dating a “hot girl” who is into the same hobbies as them—that these are hobbies that are considered to be primarily for men.

I was a little irked at that comment, but he said he was “just joking around.” This pretty much became the catch phrase for the men that night. When everyone arrived at the restaurant, Dan and his co-workers were making comments about the girls who worked there and their physical appearances. This made me a little uncomfortable, but I didn’t say anything. I soon regretted this.

Once everyone ordered their food and drinks, his friends started to quiz me about my interests. Many of them share the same “male dominated” hobbies I’m interested in, and they more or less just tried to see if I knew facts about the hobby, as opposed to asking me questions about what I like or don’t like or what I’m currently doing in said hobby.

For example, if my hobby was American history, one of them would ask an esoteric question like “Oh, so you like American History? How many one-dollar bills are currently in circulation? How old is the French Broad River!?” I also work as a junior automation engineer at a start up software company. I haven’t been writing code that long.

I’m really green and I know I still have a lot to learn. The projects I’m working on are small and I’m getting help at work. All of his friends are senior level software engineers and were quizzing me about my work and trying to see how much I actually know. They were asking about advanced things I did not know about, and were asking me technical questions that don’t even apply to my job.

But, they were all smiling and laughing, and would frequently say something like, “Aw we’re just kidding!” At one point, I felt like I was at some weird interview and was taking one question at a time from each jerk at the table. I know I stopped fake smiling at some point and just emotionlessly answered their questions.

I think one of them became self-aware, because he just looked down at his phone for the rest of the evening, didn’t ask me anything else, and just looked uncomfortable. When they weren’t asking pointed questions at me, they were talking to each other and ignoring me. I’d be interrupted if I tried to include my thoughts on the subject, or nod at me and look away to someone else.

I should mention that all of these guys were 5-10 years older than me. I’m 25, the guy I’m dating is 29, and his co-workers are in their early-mid 30s. I don’t have as much experience as they do, and part of me was hoping I could meet peers who could have helped guide me or answer my questions about their careers. They all kept saying they were just kidding around or just joking and laughing about it, but it was so cringey.

Dan was sitting beside me and wasn’t stopping this behavior from his co-workers. He was coaching me, I guess? Saying things like, “Oh! You know this one!” or “Come on, you got this, we talked about this last week!” Dan also made the comment of, “See, she’s really smart too!” to one of the guys at the table. That whole night was just awful. But his response was somehow more chilling.

He was actually irritated at me because he saw my whole mood change while I was being quizzed by his friends. He said he noticed me having an “attitude” with his co-workers, when they were just having fun and trying to get to know me. That it was immature of me to have been so obviously annoyed and that I “audibly sighed” multiple times when one of his friends spoke to me.

I can’t stop seeing Dan as a super cringey dude now. I thought he was acting ridiculous and seemed more like a 13-year-old boy as opposed to someone who is supposed to be turning 30 in a couple of months. I’m pretty sure I can’t go on with the relationship at this point. I don’t think this is an overreaction on my part, if I were to break up with him.

Everything was going fine before this happened. But now I just feel gross. The dinner happened last night and I haven’t returned any of his texts today. I know ghosting is wrong, but I don’t want to look at him or speak to him, the thought of him just kind of disgusts me at this point. I’ve never felt like someone’s show poodle before.

I don’t know if I’ll feel differently in a week or if I’m unjustified in my anger.

throwRAgoolala

35. Too Loud Up There

My neighbor, an old lady, complained about many things. First, she complained that my “dog ran around at all hours of the night,” even though I never had a dog, or any other animal for that matter. Second, she claimed that I was “always too loud.” This despite the fact that I lived alone and I’m in the Navy and would literally be away for weeks at a time.

Also, understanding that I lived in a condo, I had bought an expensive Bluetooth headset to use with all of my devices. There was literally not a speaker in the house connected to an entertainment system. She also complained that the rainwater coming off of my deck would drip on hers, because I apparently engineered the building in such a way that her deck stuck out further than mine.

I sent her letter to the property manager and the strata board, ccd her, and said that the next time she left me a letter like that or screamed through the ceiling at the top of her lungs I was going to charge her with harassment.

Oni_K

36. I’ve Got A Secret

I’m married and one of my best friends was a woman, who was basically like a younger sister to me. My wife really never had any issue with it since there were no trust issues between us. Around our second year of marriage, this “friend” (who I’ll refer to as “J”) decided to spread a rumor to my coworkers that we had been having a one-time affair.

One of my coworkers told me and showed me proof that J was saying all this stuff. When I finally confronted her, she initially just kept lying about it, until I showed her the screenshots of her texts. Then everything blew up. She got angry at me for not caring about her, not loving her, and the fact that I “left her” by getting married.

Eventually, I found out that the “one-time” rumor wasn’t a one-time rumor. Instead, she had been saying this stuff to her coworkers and family ever since I got married, including the claim that I was leaving my wife for her.

Pheliont

37. The Ghosts Of Exes Past

My ex-fiancée ghosted me before our wedding. It’s been 16 years and now she wants to talk it over again.  I was never given an explanation. She just left and told nobody. It was literally right before our big wedding ceremony. She didn’t leave a note, nothing, just left. Even her family were left baffled. We had dated all through high school and all through college.

She eventually returned, but not to me. I had to learn via her parents that she had no intentions of coming home. She wanted nothing to do with me and told her parents to avoid having me around. I never got a choice in the matter. So, I respected her wishes. I never understood why she did it; my only guess was she had a mental breakdown because she cut off all contact with everyone.

We were both young and still growing. I don’t know, but I’ve struggled with it since. So now out of the blue, she messages me on Facebook after all these years and wants to meet up. I’m an influx of emotions right now. Angry, nervous, hopeful, sad. I…I still have feelings for her. Still, I don’t know if I could take her back.

But, looking at her Facebook makes me miss her. She’s even better looking than she was before and SINGLE. I’m conflicted. She won’t talk about anything as to why she left. She said it’s best to do so in person. The only thing I can tell from her Facebook is a bunch of stuff about her being weak and living a life full of shame and regret and being lonely.

She ghosted me and I should want nothing to do with her but, darn, I still have feelings for her…I never stopped thinking about her.

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38. Cruel To Be Not-So Kind

I’ve been a server at various points throughout my life since I was 16, and I am 29 now. Usually, I would serve or hostess as a part-time job, but currently, my only job is being a server. Recently, I had three guys come in who looked about my age. When they sat down, I greeted them and then asked them how many shots they were going to be buying tonight.

They were fairly loud and seemed in a good mood, and I said this mostly to be funny. The first couple of guys told me they didn’t want shots, but they would be ordering pints. Then the last guy told me he would need a few shots if I was going to be his server. I chuckled, since I thought we were joking, and went and got their drinks.

They ordered their food, a few more drinks, there weren’t any major issues, and they said it would all be one check tonight. I went to pick up their credit card receipt, and there was 0.00 in the tip line. Ok, maybe they’ll leave cash—no big deal. But as I am thanking them for coming in, one of the guys interrupts me. His words shook me to my core.

He tells me that I probably noticed he didn’t tip me. I am honestly kind of embarrassed to be having this conversation, and I was flustered, so I just replied with something like “Oh, that’s okay, have a nice night.” He then proceeded to tell me; “I didn’t really feel like shelling out an extra 20 bucks for you, because no offense, but you could step it up a bit. All the other waitresses in here are very cute and earn their tips, try putting on more makeup, or going to a gym. I am just being honest with you. If a guy wanted to screw you, he’d tip you better.”

I was so mortified I didn’t even say anything. I could feel my face turning red, while every guy at that table stared at me. Nobody said anything. I work very hard, and I take so much pride in my work. I try to look nice and put together every night, because it can speak to how much pride you do take in your job. I am friendly and outgoing, because I love working with people and I love my job.

I wish I would’ve had something to say back to him, but I just walked away instead. I’ve worked double shifts all week and closed each night. I’ve been stiffed a couple of times almost every day this week, but I don’t take it personally and I try to still always hold my head up. Even so, that really hurt. For what it’s worth, though, I don’t think what he said holds any true merit.

I love and accept myself wholeheartedly. It was more so the fact he said it at all, his entitlement, and to be reduced to whether or not he wants to sleep with me to determine my worth. This happened at the tail end of my night. I was the only server on the floor, and the only other female on staff with me tonight was the bartender, who I’ve never really confided in and or gotten along very well with.

We’re just co-workers, that’s it. I also didn’t tell my manager, because my manager is a guy. He is mostly friendly, but honestly, my manager is creepy too. Lots of unwanted hugs and shoulder touching. Comments and questions asking me if “I have a man, or if I’d ever be willing to be a stepmom”—he has four kids with his ex-wife.

Like I said, it’s been a long week. I worked doubles every day, and closed every night. Two of those nights I was the only server on for hours because so many other servers called out. I know I am better than he is, and that I am doing just fine, it’s just exhausting existing as a woman sometimes, and there’s not enough places you get to “just be.”

UnsupportedDevice

39. Wait And See

So last night was probably the busiest night we’ve had for the last week. I’m a waitress at an upscale steakhouse restaurant. The hostesses up front put us at an hour-long wait for walk-ins because of so many booked reservations, which is the usual protocol from the general manager. Well, this particular couple had me FUMING beyond belief.

The front lobby is packed with guests waiting for a table while reservations are seated as soon as possible. The hostesses have a system on an iPad to let all the managers know which guest is seated where, how long they’ve stayed, etc. I’m bussing a table at my section when I overhear one of the hostesses try to speak to a pair of people at my section a booth over.

This couple walked into the restaurant, saw the number of people waiting for a table, and decided to seat themselves with NO reservation. They also sat at a dirty table, and here I’m thinking, “Are these people for real?” This is what I got between the hostess and the older man sitting down with his wife: “Excuse me, sir? You didn’t come up to the host stand in order for us to find out what reservation you had?”

“We don’t have reservations. Someone needs to clean this up.” Here, he points to the messy table. “I’m sorry sir, but if you don’t have a reservation the wait is going to be an hour long. Someone has already requested this booth by the fireplace and they need to be seated.” “We don’t care about reservations. We’re hungry and we’re going to eat. Get someone to clean our table! I’m not asking a third time!”

After that failure, the hostess looked at me, and she was pretty shaken up. She had never dealt with any guests THAT rude and upfront before, so it was understandable. With my Latina blood boiling, I went over to the jerks and gave them a piece of my mind. “This is my section, and after hearing that conversation, you both have no right to be served. There’s a family waiting for this table, and I’m going to ask you to leave. Unless you want me to get a manager to escort you out.”

The couple squawked at me, demanding I get them drinks, while I went straight to my manager, who saw what had already happened with the hostess. They were escorted out and were told they weren’t welcome back. Ever. This is the type of stuff I don’t think I’ll ever get used to. If you have to wait an hour-long for a table like everyone else, then you do it. If not, go to another restaurant.

cammm_ebc

40. Putting Her In Her Place

I waited tables during college, and this is one of the best memories I have of my manager handling a rude guest. One of my tables was a gay couple at a booth. They were holding hands across the table basically the whole time they were at the restaurant. At one point, a lady with two small children flags me down from across the dining room.

Her table wasn’t in my section so I assumed she just wanted me to go find her server. I go over and ask her what I can do for her, and she says, “What the HECK is wrong with you? How can you possibly allow THEM in here? I’ve been coming here for 20 years and I’m appalled that they’d let a couple of those types eat here. Do me a favor and move those queers to a different table so my kids don’t have to see that sort of disgusting behavior.”

Literally, all they were doing was holding hands. Get over yourself lady. I wanted to tell her off for being such an intolerant witch, but instead just said, “One moment ma’am and I’ll get a manager for you.” I went and told my manager what was going on and he promptly went over to her table and told her that if she had an issue with other guests minding their own business and eating their food, then maybe she’d be better off not eating out at all.

She grabbed her kids and left without ordering. I always had a ton of respect for him for not putting up with horrible people’s issues.

ScaryTerry22

Tales from your serverPexels

41. Sister Act

It was my cousin’s wedding and he was marrying this very awful girl whom no one, except his sister, liked. This girl hated everything about everyone and liked to be vocal about those things. So, halfway through the reception, I was super bored since I didn’t want to be there. Honestly, I only went because my mother insisted.

The place was very awkward—no one was dancing and the bride was having a screaming contest with her dad outside. I noticed a woman who was very young sitting at the bride’s family table, holding a baby and talking to some guy. I didn’t notice her before since the baby was very quiet during the entire ceremony and they sat at the back.

I recognized that woman as the bride’s 17-year-old sister who, by the way, was a teen mom. The guy, I later learned, was her boyfriend and baby daddy. At some point, the bride came back from outside, looked at her sister angrily, then marched her way to the groom’s family…where she proceeded to complain about how her sister was stupid and irresponsible. Here’s where it got very embarrassing very fast.

She was talking so loudly that her sister, the guy, and everyone could hear her. The sister then started crying quietly while hugging the baby, who was now anxious. The guy, on the other hand, looked ready to attack the bride, and the bride’s father seemed angry as well. Just when things couldn’t get worst, The truth came out.

The bride started talking about how her sister was stealing her thunder, making the day all about herself and her mistakes. The bride’s father then went to talk to her, taking her out of the venue so she could “calm herself,” but everyone could still hear her having a complete and total tantrum outside.

The sister and her partner later said their goodbyes to her family and friends, but she was still crying at that point. Later on, I learned that the bride was always jealous of her sister because she was “the baby and the favorite daughter.” The bride and the sister are no longer on speaking terms.

pandizzy

42. It’s Not What It Looks Like!

My mother-in-law is an idiot who likes to talk behind people’s backs and thinks she can buy the love of my children with awful toys that get donated as soon as she leaves. She came to our house, unannounced as usual, and just let herself in, as usual, to drop off some toys that she had recently bought because we all know they didn’t get enough stuff Christmas only days ago!

So I was making myself scarce, tinkering around in my shed, and apparently she looked in the cabinet under my aquarium, saw a piece of equipment, and automatically assumed that it was some kind “intimate” parts enlarger. What??! She proceeds to go tell my wife that she thinks I have a weird side of me that I am hiding and she thinks my wife should have a talk with me.

My wife said that her mom was totally serious, a little mad even, and my wife asked her to explain. So my mother-in-law goes get my “pump” from the cabinet and shows it to her. My wife said she nearly peed her pants when she recognized it as a piece of aquarium equipment, but she held her composure and quickly walked outside and yelled for me to come in.

When I got in she said, “My mom has a question for you.” My mother-in-law asks what I need that “sick device” for? I calmly explained what it was and that she should really worry about her own life. She noticed that my wife was about to expire from containing her laughter and she stormed out of the house. It was great. I can’t stand that witch.

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43. Loose Lips

My partner and I were out shopping, and he had wandered off to look at something else, wanting to avoid the makeup and beauty counter. I haven’t physically been to the makeup section in a while, choosing instead to use Sephora online, so this was exciting to me to get to be at the actual counter and do a whole lot of swatches and drool over makeup in person.

You know that scene from Parks and Rec where Ron can sense a shift in energy and he can “smell” his ex-wife whenever she’s in a few miles’ radius? It was kind of like that. I felt someone watching me. I felt this shift in energy. I was very much aware of being alone and that there were no store attendants close by. I look over and I see my mother-in-law, and she’s staring at me and throwing me a dirty look.

She doesn’t like me. She looks down on me. She looks down on my teaching job, and she thinks I’m vapid and vain because I wear makeup. She thinks I’m a gold digger. She thinks I’m a troublemaker. She’s called me a makeup-wearing hussy behind my back. Which to be honest, I kind of own that. I dig it in a weird way. She comes over to say hello, this huge grin on her face because of course, I’m looking at makeup and skincare.

To her, this just re-iterates those thoughts she has of me as being shallow and vain. We mumble a greeting to each other, and then she says to me, “Buying more makeup?” Her tone is very surprised, as if I couldn’t possibly need more. “Yes,” I say. “Apparently I have a reputation as a hussy to uphold.” Her. Face. Dropped. She knew that I knew.

She knew that there was a mole and someone was telling me stuff about her and what she said about other people. It felt great. I walked away and left her there, and then my partner and I left before she could spy on him and try to feed him information or gang up on him.

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44. I Will See You In Court

An ex-member of our condo board lawyered up and said she’d sue the new member running for her position and the condo as a whole because she claimed he was falsifying documents and was slandering her. When her lawyer saw the signatures of the residents, he laughed and said, “She’s got nothing.” Only two people voted to keep her and the 74 others voted for the new guy.

holysmokesiminflames

45. Binning It

I once totally randomly caught my neighbors on camera, at 1 am, dumping trash into and onto my bins which were already on the curb for morning pickup. I wouldn’t mind a little trash if there’s space in my bins, but they put in about twice as much as can fit, causing the bins to overflow and mixing the recycling and compost with their trash.

I promptly returned it, neatly piled on their porch with a note written on a bill with their name and address on it, quoting the county ordnance on dumping (the volume was enough for a $5,000 fine), and that they were on camera. A couple of days later they left an envelope saying, “Sorry, neighbor,” with tickets for a concert.

It was a “free” concert in a sketchy venue with a printed invitation that screamed “MLM recruiting event.” I wonder if they even understand that what they did is not an apology. I haven’t crossed paths or words with them again.

mazamorac

46. Room Service

My first roommate was one of my best friends from high school, though out of everyone in the friend group we had we weren’t the closest, I guess. Nevertheless, we were still very good friends. Aside from being a poor communicator who would sometimes leave her phone at home and then disappear with her boyfriend and scare everyone, she was actually a great roommate considering how a couple of messy, working 19-year-old girls can be.

She went through a rough patch at work where she was basically working 60+ hour work weeks and in escalated customer service issues for a store credit card. She was miserable. When she got a week off after working, she wanted to throw a party in our house and promised to host, clean, and handle it all. I was 19, not being expected to do anything, and I wanted to go to a party.

So I said heck yeah! Everything with the party was a blast until towards the end, when people started asking me for things. I was intoxicated, so I said, “Why the heck are you askin’ me?! Ask my friend!!” That was when I found out that my friend had been getting hot and heavy with her boyfriend, but had let two of our intoxicated mutual friends sleep in her bed already.

So the two lovebirds directed partygoers to me for anything they needed and left to go to my friend’s boyfriend’s place for the night, during her party. This was all done without even informing me. She left her phone, of course, and he didn’t answer his. The following night, when she didn’t come back, I cleaned up with a few members of our friend group, who also couldn’t believe she had done this. I was beyond furious.

She wasn’t intoxicated or anything, and she had specifically encouraged me to drink and have fun all night, saying she wanted to enjoy the hosting experience. She said seeing us all have fun would relax her more than drinking would. And then she bailed and left me with a ton of bugs drawing food and dirty dishes in the sink, along with the mess you’d expect from thirty young drinking idiots.

It took five hours for five people to clean up! And we were actually good cleaners! She didn’t come back for three days. Except for once, two days after the party, when I was at work, to get some of her things. I know because I had missed a stack of pizza boxes she had put in the oven, so they started a small fire and my dad went to check on things for me.

The day after I finally managed to confront her about it, which was maybe five days after the party itself, she was so “upset” that she packed everything and moved out. Just like that. She ended up cutting all of our friends off, and we realized she had some other things going on in the background that were extra shady. But yeah. Whew.

ghastlybagel

47. Be My Pest

We let my friend crash at our place for a while when he was between places. While I was out one day, he got intoxicated and tried to intimidate my wife into sleeping with him. He told her: “If you don’t do it, I will tell him you did and he will believe me.” She suggested he go get some beers first and then locked the doors. She hid out at a neighbor’s place, where she called me and then the authorities.

Officers arrived on the scene before I could get there. Unfortunately, they couldn’t actually take him in for anything. Instead, they basically just told him he should: “Screw off to somewhere else or we will find a reason to throw you behind bars.” Good thing too, because if I had gotten there first, I would probably have gotten taken in myself for kicking his butt.

Liar_tuck

48. Money Can’t Buy Class

My girlfriend and I have been together almost three years. 99% of the time, we’re great. She’s funny and smart and we have a lot of shared interests. But every time we visit her family, I start doubting everything. They are very wealthy, which by itself is not a bad thing, but they’re also very fixated on being rich and have a habit of placing the monetary value of things (and people) over everything else.

I come from a very middle-class background. I have a good education and a decent career that I really enjoy, but I’m definitely not rich. Because of this, they view me as a loser. For example, yesterday we made the two-hour drive to her parents’ in my new-ish Honda. When we got there, her mom immediately ordered me to park the car behind the house so the neighbors wouldn’t see it.

She was furious we didn’t bring my girlfriend’s Land Rover, which they bought for her as a birthday gift this year. The girlfriend doesn’t like to drive on long trips and I’m not allowed to drive the Land Rover (per her parents) so we brought my Honda. Oh, but the plot thickens. My girlfriend’s dad has never spoken to me directly.

Even when she introduced me the first time, he turned to her and said, “What does he do?” So we went in the house and I gave her dad the usual, “Hi, merry Christmas” and he gave me the usual disinterested glance. One more example: Last year, I made the mistake of bringing a bottle of wine. It was a $25 bottle, which was pricey for me, and I even had the wine store lady help me pick it out.

My girlfriend’s mom told me to put it in the kitchen. They didn’t open it while we were there, and she later admitted to my girlfriend that they’d re-gifted it to their housekeeper because it was “gas station hooch.” We managed to get through the day yesterday without much drama except the car thing, which I’d normally consider a win.

But today I keep thinking about the whole situation with her family and wondering if I’m really willing to deal with these people for the rest of my life. My girlfriend and I have tossed around the possibility of getting married more than once, but I know they’ll never accept me. If we get married, I’ll have to see them a lot more than once a year.

My girlfriend has given up trying to defend me to her parents and just ignores them most of the time, but I can tell it bothers her, too. They bankroll a big chunk of her lifestyle and I think she’s worried they’ll cut her off if she pushes too hard—they’ve threatened to over other things. So am I wasting my time? Is this relationship doomed?

My girlfriend always tells me she doesn’t care what her family thinks, but I’m not sure that’s true. She always tries to downplay how mean they are to me. But I know I’ll never be good enough for them, even if I’m good enough for her.

SomeCase

Relationship issuesPexels

49. Ding Dong, The Witch Is Gone

I am no longer a server, but I was one all through college. I worked at a franchise of a chain of 24-hour restaurants that is notorious for cheap breakfasts and bad service. A big yellow sign with red letters. I took great pride in my job and how I treated my customers. In all honesty, if I could find a server job that offered good insurance and steady tips, I would consider going back to it.

I really, truly loved waiting tables and making people’s lives a little more pleasant, at least while they were in my section. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. I had several “regulars” that always sat in my section, but there were other servers who had their regulars as well. One of them was a really pleasant, jovial man…and his horrible, nasty wife.

She was the kind of woman who got off on being a witch and making other people’s lives miserable. One particular day, I had to cover some tables in a different server’s section because a server called in sick. I was warned about this couple when they came in, but had never waited on them before, so I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect.

I was told that she had a habit of complaining endlessly about everything, demanding to speak to the manager every time they came in, and berating the servers and cooks at every turn. The husband (who often came in by himself) was the opposite—friendly, good-natured, well-liked. As soon as they were seated, before I could even get their drink orders, the husband got up from the booth and walked outside for a few minutes, leaving me alone with the wife.

I put on my best smiley, cheerful face and greeted her. She refused to make eye contact with me and instead scowled and snarled, “You would think that, as much money as we spend here, you people would know what we like to drink! Why do we have to keep going through this? I want ICED TEA, NO LEMON!!” She didn’t tell me what the husband wanted, and I didn’t ask.

I was just so taken aback by the anger straight out of the gate that I just turned on my heels and walked away. I poured her an iced tea—NO LEMON!!—and brought it back to her. Before I could even set it down, she snapped, “I already know what I want to eat, and we’re in a HURRY.” (Bear in mind that the husband is still outside).

I took her order, still trying to be pleasant, and before I could walk away, she snarled, “and the last time you people brought the food out, it was COLD!! I do NOT want cold food! And I want EXTRA CHEESE on my scrambled eggs!! and SALSA!!” Her voice seemed to drip with more and more anger with every word she spat out.

As I was ringing up the order, I thought of a thousand things I wanted to do, then I hit upon an idea. Instead of getting back at her, I was going to not only go out of my way to make her meal as perfect and delicious as possible, but I was going to embarrass her as well. I made sure everything was perfect…piping hot, lots and lots of cheese on the eggs, fresh salsa warmed up to room temperature.

By the time the meal was ready, the husband had returned to the table and was happily chatting with one of the servers. I mustered up my best scared/sad face as I brought out the food to her. As I sat it down, I started to tear up, just a little, and expressed in gushing, flowery terms how sorry I was for how badly she was treated the last time she was here, and how hard I worked to make sure the food was absolutely 100% according to her specifications.

I said that I felt SO BAD for how she was treated that I was going to pay for her meal out of my tips and how I hoped that she would be willing to accept my apology on behalf of the whole restaurant for her miserable experience. I really laid it on as thickly and sweetly as I could. Her husband, who was happy and smiling and cheerful just seconds ago, stared her down with a sick, horrid look.

His face turned bright red. She was MORTIFIED, her face turning equally red…she hung her head and said, “Ummm…okay…”. I asked her if everything was to her satisfaction this time, and if it wasn’t, I would rectify it immediately. She stared at her plate, pushed it around a bit, and said, “Ummmm…yeah…”. The husband is staring her down now, clenching his jaw.

He politely ordered his meal and as I was walking away, I heard him hiss at her, “What did you say to her? What did you DO??” She was silent and sulking for the rest of the meal, and he was polite but not overly chatty. When they were finished, she stormed out before he even left the table, head hung. He apologized profusely to me for how she had acted and left a generous tip on top of paying the tab.

To the best of my recollection, she never acted like a witch to any of us ever again.

bad_thrower

50. Silence Is Golden

I waited tables and tended bar for years before switching to my current career. One day, this table comes in, eats, drinks, pays cash. I tell them to have a great day and walk away. While taking a drink order at a new table, I notice the lady standing there angrily, and I make eye contact with her husband and he looks really embarrassed.

I finish taking the drink order and go over to them. “Yes? Is there a problem?” She tells me I gave her the wrong change and was really nasty about it. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but I had intended to round up to avoid pennies. You heard me right…pennies. Like, their change was supposed to be $3.78 and I intended to give them $3.80.

Well, I guess I made a mistake this time and gave them $3.75. Either way, she was really rude. She showed me the receipt, and I apologized and admitted my error. But then came the best part. Looking at it, I pointed out that I had forgotten to ring up her coffee, and that I would be right back with an updated check. She was angry that she ended up paying more than if she’d just kept her mouth shut.

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Tales from your serverPexels

51. Just Desserts

I once saw a full-grown groomzilla scream at a 17-year-old wedding store cashier and then proceeded to almost physically fight three managers over the price of 300 handmade chocolate bars. He had signed off on the price and they were in the middle of making them. Despite the wedding not being that day, he also was freaking out that they weren’t done the minute he walked in, even though they were scheduled to be done by closing time. It was 10 am in the freaking morning. He had been told to pick them up an hour before the end of the workday.

He wanted the people behind the glass to stop making the bars because he wasn’t going to pay that price for “late” chocolate bars, but he also didn’t want them to stop because they were supposed to be done by now. So he kept breaking away from the managers to yell, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” at the glass. He thought the sample labels with their names on them were tacky too, even though he had signed off on them as well.

Hereibe

52. The Marriage Contract

I was the wedding salesperson at a hotel that was going through a rough patch, so I really didn’t have much of a choice when it came to clients. There was one bride in particular that drove me crazy. She had been a problem for a few months before I was hired, and I remember the Director of Sales told me that I was inheriting a handful.

I figured that no one could be THAT bad and laughed it off. Oh, I wish I’d listened. In our first meeting, she presented me with a detailed list of why my venue was a piece of garbage. Her fiancé spent the whole time looking defeated. In our second meeting, she brought the absolute worst reviews on Trip Advisor (printed off) of our hotel from as far back as 2003 and used these as a bargaining tool.

She hadn’t signed the contract yet, so I was very ready to walk away from this at that point, but my bosses insisted we needed the revenue. After this, I started playing hardball and told her that another couple was interested in their date and that if she didn’t sign within two days, I’d be selling it to them. This was a load of bull, mind you.

I hoped she would go away at this point, but she instead asked for the contract immediately. I, being forced to oblige, sent it but with extra clauses. First, she would pay the menu price for any food or beverage ordered. Second, we were allowed to terminate the contract for any reason with no penalty. She signed and obviously didn’t read it.

During the tasting, she started coming down on me pretty hard because she didn’t feel that the drinks were worth $6 a glass. I offered her Franzia as an alternative for $5.50 a glass but reminded her that I wouldn’t negotiate menu prices, as per the contract. She finally went back and read the thing and asked me about the other additions.

I informed her that it was to protect me against “bridezillas.” After that, she was far more agreeable.

thatmistersir

53. Nothing Hurts Like Good Manners

My mother-in-law wants us to have children, and we won’t. My husband finally told her about his vasectomy, which seemed to shut her up, and all further interactions with her have only been mildly annoying. Until now. Yesterday, my mother-in-law told us all that she had purchased a burial plot for her and my father-in-law, and how she’s pre-planned a funeral.

She wanted to start working on their long-term medical requests and power of attorney documents. All good things! Then she starts to tell us about her estate. My father-in-law tries to change the subject, but no no, we have to talk about this as a family. Well, mother-in-law gets this smug look on her face and then goes on about how their estate will be divided up.

Basically, it gives my husband almost nothing because we “don’t have children, and the money is to support their family line.” Our response was perfect. Y’all. Her face when my husband and I both nod approvingly at this and confirm that this seems like a smart plan. I’m fairly certain that she wanted us to either fight back or cry and make a scene or beg her for money.

She controls two of her children with money but not us, and it drives her batty. She sent my husband an email last night “apologizing” for her decision and giving him a “method of communication” about this without me involved. 100%, she was trying to get him to beg her for money or change her mind. So, he popped me on the email and responded, “Mom, she and I want you to enjoy your money and have a happy and secure retirement. This is your money, you can do whatever you want with it, and we’ll never criticize you for your decision about this.”

Ha. The rest of her kids are already fighting over their bones, but not us. I’m using good manners as an insult.

DeeplyBison

54. The VIP Syndrome

We had a woman in my old neighborhood who used to pretend she was a cop all the time. First, I encountered her screaming at the post office staff because she’d arrived past the pickup time and they couldn’t guarantee her letter would be in tomorrow. She was there almost an hour just pitching a fit while they opened the other counters around her. Her rant was along the lines of “Do you know who I am?!” and all that stuff.

The second time that I encountered her she’d cornered some poor child on the bus and was telling her she’d have her taken away because she was an officer and she didn’t like the way the kid was eating a bag of crisps or something like that. Real invective stuff. I stepped in and politely asked if the child knew this person, at which point she backed off.

Anyway, I guess she saw me leave at my stop because I woke up the next morning to find my garden torn up. Total weirdo.

slightly2spooked

Crazy neighborsPexels

55. He Said, She Said

The story that comes to mind for me is the horrible first impression my at the time ‘best friend’ had on my then-new girlfriend, who is now my wife all these years later. We all went out to dinner. My wife is shy and quiet, while my friends are loud and rowdy. My friend’s cousin kept messing with her and being obnoxious, despite her very clearly asking him to stop.

At one point, he made inappropriate comments on her breasts, and it got to the point where she ended up crying and walking out of the restaurant. I followed her out. Then, my “friend,” who had been in the bathroom at the time, called me to ask what happened. I told him his cousin was being a jerk, and his response was that my girlfriend was probably doing something to provoke him.

He claimed that they had been trying to lighten the mood and get her to talk more, but she was just “giving them the cold shoulder.” He then informed me that she wasn’t welcome at their outings anymore. He went on to apologize later on, but was also having serious problems with drinking and we drifted our separate ways before long.

Psychotic_Jester

56. There’s No Place Like Home

My friend is trying to gaslight me because I’m thinking of selling the place I’m letting them stay at and not using the money to buy them a new place to live. Also, they’re pretty messy and ensured that they caused enough damage that it would take a while after they moved out for the house to go to market. The latter part was just an unspeakably lousy thing for them to do.

They knew I had been thinking about selling the place since last year. This year was the final nail in the coffin with the property management team, whom they despise as well. I know it’s very hard to find places to live during these times, so I made sure to give my friend as much advance notice as possible about my plans. By no means did I just spring the news on them out of nowhere.

wert989

Terrible friendsPexels

57. History Repeats Itself

I gave my friend a birthday present and she just said she didn’t like it. I later found it in the trash when I visited her. She would always be late to everything. She got tickets to an Incubus concert and a meet and greet. It wasn’t in our city, so I saved all of my money to be able to afford the trip. A week before, she texted me saying she was going to Disneyland, so she sold the tickets.

I once painted a whole big beautiful mural in her room. Two months later, she just painted over it with purple because she got bored. She once invited me for coffee and I got really excited because I hadn’t seen her for a while and had a lot going on. I was almost homeless at the time, so I took the little money I had to pay for my coffee.

I got there only to discover that what she had invited me to was not a private get together at all. It was a multilevel marketing presentation that she was trying to sell me on. There were like six other people there, who all appeared to be just as disappointed as me. Then, she did it again the next time we made plans. I don’t know why I thought it would be different. That was the last time I saw her.

Kovvacs

58. Don’t Lose The Weight, Lose The Man

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year. I am 5”4’ and 125lbs. He pursued me. Slowly, though, he keeps making more and more negative comments about my appearance. He made me a workout and eating plan and constantly asks if I follow it. He basically wants me to go vegan. Honestly, I’m not into the vegan lifestyle and I don’t eat horribly.

When we ordered in yesterday I got baked ziti. He looked at me and said something horrible. He asked how I could be ordering this when we both agreed I need to lose weight. Every time I try to dump him over this, he tells me I don’t understand where he is coming from. He told me I’m average and he wants me to stand out.

He says that he noticed I have low self-esteem and he is trying to make me confident and be happy with myself. Every day, he asks me if I did my workouts. But that’s not the worst part. He will send me photos of other girls and say if I follow what he says I will look like that. He REALLY pursued me and now I feel like he’s ruining my self esteem.

Why pursue someone so hard if you aren’t that attracted to them? He told me if I lose 15 pounds, I’ll be perfect. He sends me pictures of women who have post pregnancy bodies or not good bodies at all and he tells me that they are like me, that they are chubby and not curvy. Or he will send me pictures of girls I don’t consider pretty and say if I listen to him I will look like that, I just need to lose weight.

I tell him I think I’m thinner than those girls and he tells me that he has better eyes.

throwra0099909009922

59. A Card-Carrying Fool

I was serving a family. The parents were clearly in their 50s/60s, while their kids were in their mid-20s. When ordering drinks, I carded the kids but not the parents. The mom pipes up with the whole, “Heyyy I don’t look that old, why didn’t you card meeeeeeeee?????????” I respond with, “Okay, let me see your ID, then.” It all went so wrong.

As it turns out, mommy dearest left her wallet at home. I inform her that, unfortunately, once requested, I am legally not allowed to serve her drinks unless she produces a valid ID. Obviously, she’s FURIOUS about this, so I send the manager over to confirm with her that I am not allowed to serve her. It almost goes without saying that I didn’t receive a tip, but hopefully, this idiot learned something today.

spacemermaid1701

60. Dishing It Out

Boy oh boy, some people. This happened yesterday.  I’ll keep this short and not bore anyone with unnecessary back-story about the type of restaurant I work in, or anything about the set up. All you need to know is that: First, it’s fairly small, so I work alone with one chef; second, it’s family-friendly; and finally, we have a wide menu, with options ranging from $7.00 dishes to our most expensive $17.50 dish.

Not very pricy at all. One day, I received a phone call asking specifically about our $17.50 dish—our seafood paella. It’s made fresh to order, and takes about 15-20 minutes to make. Not to mention that seafood is expensive. So, the price is justified. The person I was speaking to asked if we were a buffet. We are not. I told them we are table service, and can do the paella any time.

I asked if they wanted to make a reservation because of the time it takes to prepare the paella. They said no, and hung up. So I went about my day. A few hours later, a family of four comes in. They sit down, glance at the menus, and then wave me over with a snap of the father’s fingers (gotta love that). The dad then says, “Show me the paella.”

I direct him to the back of the menu, where it’s listed very clearly and shows the ingredients and the price. Him: “I want that.” I write it down. The mother then says she wants a paella, followed by the two kids saying the same. So I confirm. Me: “So that’s four paellas? You don’t want to share?” Dad: “No. We’ll all have paella.”

So I put the order in after reminding him it’ll take about 15 minutes. I offered them drinks, but they just wanted water. I started getting the cheap vibe, but they ordered FOUR paellas, so how cheap could they be? Food comes out. They love it. Dad asks if he could get one to go. I put the order in so it would be ready when they finish.

We’re at five paellas now, and almost $90, before tax. I let the chef/owner know my concerns that the family may object to this price despite having made it clear to them. He gave me the okay to give them a 10% discount right off the bat. He’s a good guy. The time comes to bring the bill, and the man’s eyes go super wide.

I wrote out the bill so that every paella has $17.50 next to it. I watch as realization hits. He opens his mouth to object, and I immediately say, “The owner said to give you a discount because you ordered five of our most expensive dish and he wanted to thank you. He was happy to hear that you enjoyed it enough to order another to take home.” That shut him up. I then watch as he scans every last line of the bill and then settles on the tax, which was nearly $11.

Him:  “You added a tip for yourself?” He was angry. Me: “No sir.” Him: “What’s this then?!” Me: “…The tax.” Honestly, I wasn’t expecting a tip at that point, but he did leave me 10%. So basically the discount we had given him. They said the food was excellent, but I highly doubt they’ll be back. For some reason, they thought ordering the same dish would equal just the price of one dish.

Serendipitious14

61. Pie In The Sky

First, let me explain a few things here. This is not my story as such, but I got to witness it firsthand. A good friend of mine is from a family that owns three very successful Italian restaurants, with a pizza oven that uses actual wood, so really top of the line. So he learned the business basically from the day he could walk.

When he was 25, he had a good business idea: A place in the middle of the city that sells mostly slices out of a window, but also whole pizza, pasta dishes, and salad, and does delivery. Plus a few small tables inside if someone wants to eat here. He created a solid business plan, and had his eyes on a prime location. It is 50 meters away from the biggest parking area in the city.

There are 400 parking spots there, where several times a year we have big city fairs, and anybody who wants to go in the park strolls right by it. So his dad said he would finance him, but as a credit to be paid back in a timely manner. They agreed on everything, and a year later he opened up. The story takes place about two years after they have opened and the place is HOT.

He already repaid almost 75% of the credit in a mere two years. Usually, there is a line for the slices, which are from a huge family-size pizza. One day, we are sitting at a table playing chess, while his guys run the shop; he had already worked a full 11 hours that day. In comes a baby boomer couple, and it was clear as day that the lady with the you-know-which haircut rules this relationship with an iron fist.

They sat down at the table next to us, and after not even a minute she rudely asked us why she has no menu yet, and to get off our lazy butts. I already wanted to tell her I do not work here, but my friend winked at me and walked over to their table, giving them our menus. The lady says to him, “It’s about time you get off your lazy butt.” By the way, she has now waited a minute. “You can’t play chess when you have people waiting. What kind of service is this?”

So my friend took their drink orders and walked behind the bar to make their drinks right away. They had to wait maybe three minutes for their drinks. When he comes back, she says, “About time, did you have to brew it first, or what is taking so long?” At this point, my friend’s patience is starting to wear thin, but he still stays friendly.

Friend: “You saw me walk to the bar and make your drinks right away, then return right away. Those drinks take a bit to pour correctly. I am sorry, but there is no way I could have brought those to you any faster.” Her: “We are customers and this is how you talk to us? Ever heard of the customer is always right? How can you be so rude to paying customers?” Now my friend really had enough.

Friend: “I was very respectful toward you, while you were very rude from the moment you came in here—“ The moment he said that, she got this weird grin on her face, and you could tell this was EXACTLY what she wanted. Her: “SHUT UP! How dare you!!! I will have you know that me and the owner are old friends. I will have your job over this, now get me your manager.”

This is where it got so good. He decides to mess with her. Friend: “PLEASE, I need this job.” Her: “TOO LATE, you should have thought about this before you treated guests this rudely. NOW. GET. ME. THE. MANAGER.” Friend: “Right away miss.” He then went behind the bar and had a short talk with one of the older guys working there.

They then both return to the table. Server: “What seems to be the problem?” Well, this woman changed so fast. Suddenly she played the sweet old lady. “When we came in here, your server sat there with someone and played chess. We waited and waited, and finally asked nicely if we could have a menu. He rolled his eyes at us and gave us the menu from his table.”

She tells the rest of her “story” in her sweet voice, then says, “Since I know the owner, and we eat here all the time, usually, the service is excellent. I demand you fire him and comp our meals.” The new server turns to my friend and asks, “Is that really what happened?” Friend: “Of course not, she came—” Then the lady’s mask drops again.

She starts screeching, “What are you asking him for? I just told you what happened. Are you calling me a liar? Wait until the owner hears of this.” At this point, my friend and the server could no longer hold it back and they started laughing. Her: “YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, NEVER EVER HAVE I BEEN SO INSULTED.” Well, enough was enough.

Friend: “Yeah I know, wait until the owner hears of this. Oh wait, the owner already did hear of this. I AM THE OWNER, and I have never seen you in my life, nor have you ever eaten here. You two are just trying to scam a free meal out of me, by being impossibly difficult until the server finally snaps or does something wrong.”

Wow, I had no idea people could get that red in the face. She put 10 dollars on the table immediately. Friend: “Now GET OUT.” And they shuffled out, never to return. BOY that was the most entertaining attempt to scam him I have ever witnessed.

hicctl

62. Take A Picture, It’ll Last Longer

As a wedding photographer, I’ve seen my fair share of crazies over the years. The worst situation I ever had was with a couple who started arguing right after the vows. Typically, you shoot the bridal parties in the morning, and if you’re lucky enough, the men will get dressed on time and let you take a few snaps of them while they’re all suited and booted.

On this particular day, the men were already hitting the sauce pretty hard and what happened next was truly triggering—they ended up at the church stinking of booze. I could tell the bride was angry as I was shooting the ceremony—she wouldn’t look at her husband-to-be throughout the entire service. The groom, in all fairness, kept himself pretty well composed but was still stinking.

The poor guy was nervous. After the ceremony, before the bridal party gathered at the prearranged shooting location, the bride and groom had about 30 minutes of alone time in the limo to conduct a full-blown argument. When they pulled up to the location, I got them to roll the window down for a champagne toast through the window shot, and all I was getting were smiles through gritted teeth.

It was awful. I tried my best to ease the mood, but this bride was in no mood for any wisecracks or enjoyment. The moral of the story is, don’t argue on your wedding day or you’ll end up looking back at angry photos.

piratedel

63. Daddy Issues

The bridezilla in this story insisted on wearing the garter from her mother’s wedding. I don’t get the whole garter tradition but whatever, the bridezilla wanted to wear her mom’s garter. But there was a big problem with that—her mom was married, then got divorced, then got remarried and had a daughter, who was the bridezilla.

The garter she wanted to wear was from the first marriage, not the marriage to her own dad, to whom her mom is still happily married. The father was extremely hurt and upset by this, not to mention confused. His protests were ignored. Also, the bride thought she was too good for her dad’s side of the family, so they weren’t invited under the pretense of it being too expensive.

She just ignored her dad when he repeatedly offered to pay for them to come. He pointed out that he was already paying for everything else, so it couldn’t possibly be a money issue for her…poor guy.

SassyTeacupPrincess

64. More Harm Than Good

Right now I have a lot of problems going on with my mother-in-law on top of a bunch of other issues. Foremost, I’m fighting cancer for the second time in my life. I was first diagnosed when I was 14, fought it and won. I lived a happy and peaceful life until recently, when I had my health checked for job necessities and surprise!—I’m 30 years old and I’ve got cancer again.

This is secondary cancer, different organ, nothing to do with the first one. Fortunately, stage 2 only, however my oncologist warned me that it’s aggressive, grows and spreads fast, and I could be stage 3 or more in a short period of time so we had to act fast. Hearing that you have cancer is always devastating but to me, it feels like something wants me gone very much.

I was distraught that I’ll have to go through this again. It’s a very hard fight, both physically and mentally; any current or former cancer patient will agree on that. I had a surgery and now it’s time for chemotherapy. The doctors decided on oral chemo that I can take at home and only have to go to a hospital to do blood tests and scans every few weeks, which is very good.

I wouldn’t have the strength to go there every day. I’m on a sick leave from work now and because of the treatment, I’m quite weak and I’ve lost a lot of weight. Before that my wife and I, we both had an equal share of household chores. Some days I feel better than others, however directly after every chemo appointment, even the simplest chores are often a physical impossibility for me.

I try to do as much as I can, but my wife has been amazing. She doesn’t care at all that I don’t help around the house as much as I did. She’s like, “Your only obligation now is not to die.” The other day my mother-in-law came over to visit. She knows about my diagnosis, and I was on the couch reading while my wife was doing something around the house.

My mother-in-law walked over to me and was like, “Look at that! Lying on that couch as if you’re on the beach! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself—a grown man and lying down in the middle of a day while your poor wife is working so hard!” I said, “I just had chemo, I have a headache, I’m nauseous, I don’t feel good.” Nope. She was like, “A young man like you and you cannot beat some silly cancer! You cannot cure yourself with those chemicals! Nature products only!”

Later that day, my mother-in-law was talking to my wife in the kitchen. I didn’t mean to listen, but I heard their conversation anyway. The mother-in-law was like, “You really shouldn’t let him take that poison he’s taking or he will be a goner. It’s poison, otherwise he wouldn’t feel so bad. Doctors nowadays are totally stupid, you should seek herbal treatments instead!”

As all of that came from someone without any medical education, my wife shut her up quickly and told her to stay away from things she understands nothing about. The next day I was going to take my chemo, as I’m scheduled. I’ve got to take it once a day and I prefer to do it in the morning because then I feel better in the evening and I can sleep better.

But, as I walked into the bathroom and opened the cabinet, there was no trace of my chemo bottles. They were gone, completely. I asked my wife if she moved them by any chance and she said no. We looked around but realized it’s pointless because they couldn’t fall out of the cabinet and there’s also no need to hide the chemo; we don’t have children or pets who could accidentally swallow it. Then the horrific truth hit us.

My wife remembered that just before leaving the day before, my mother-in-law asked to use the bathroom. She could have easily taken the bottles with her, considering her words about the toxicity of chemo. My wife turned into a dragon. She was literally almost spitting fire as she got dressed and stormed out to go to her mother’s house.

I had never seen her so mad before. She came back a half an hour later or so and told me that she demanded my medication from her and my mother-in-law admitted she took my chemo but that when she left our house, she threw it out. Obviously, it’s gone. We can’t search through every garbage bin the city, but just the fact that she did it blew my mind.

My wife and her mom had a huge argument, and this woman really thinks she did me a favor. She was like, “Don’t you see he’s dying, don’t you see how fragile he’s become? It’s not cancer that’s hurting him, it’s those pills! I got rid of them, I saved your husband and that’s how you thank me, by insulting me? Better go and buy him some herbal teas!”

Because of her, I missed a dose of chemo, which is very bad, and I had to see my oncologist immediately. When I told him I need more chemo, he was surprised and said, “What happened to the chemo I gave you a short time ago? You couldn’t have used it all already.” And I had to be like, “Well, you see, doctor, my mother-in-law took my chemo.” He looked totally baffled, as if the fact that someone would take someone else’s chemo is ridiculously stupid. WHICH IT IS.

He prescribed me new bottles of chemo and a new schedule on how I’m supposed to take it, and now I keep it in a cabinet with a lock. Even though my wife swore to me my mother-in-law will never set her foot in our house again.

FredDaniel

65. Getting Along Like A House On Fire

The last few months have been rough. Near the end of last year, we lost the house to a freak accident, and we lost almost everything we owned. It’s just been a really stressful time for my little family of four. We were out for a school recital when we received the call from a neighbor, and we returned to find the house in flames. The fire department tried to save what they could, but the damage was really bad.

We ended up selling the property and moving altogether because the repairs amounted to essentially rebuilding the house. I have been married for 10 years and my mother-in-law has never liked me. I still didn’t expect her to act the way she did during this time. I always believed that even if she didn’t like me, she’d help me in a time of need because I was the mother of her two grandsons and the wife of her son, and I made them happy. I found out just how wrong I was.

On the night of the accident, we needed a place to stay temporarily, at least until we could have a few moments to breathe and get our bearings. My husband suggested we stay with his mother for the night. It was late and it made the most sense to us both. We drove over to the house. My boys were half-asleep in the backseat and we left them in the car when we went to speak to my mother-in-law to explain what was going on.

She was very sympathetic at first and said she had no problem with my husband and my sons staying…but I would have to make other arrangements. My husband lost it with her and began to yell that she was being unreasonable, and she refused to budge. In her words, I wasn’t true family and she’d never blessed our marriage in the first place, so I was not her responsibility.

We left and spent the night in our car, and we got a motel the next day. She began calling and inviting us over to stay again, and she said that she’d graciously permit me to stay in the garage for a few days. Again, we didn’t take her up on the offer and my husband told her that she was being very disrespectful. My mother-in-law got very angry in response and said that we were spitting on her generosity.

She then offered to keep the boys so that they wouldn’t need to stay in a motel while we put our lives back in order. Again, we rejected her offer. We heard nothing from her for a few days until we learned that she had been badmouthing me to people. She was claiming that I was tearing the family apart in this time of need with my grudges.

From her point of view, she’d opened her house to us in an instant and I’d turned her down and forced my husband and sons to live in a cheap motel because I didn’t like her. My husband set the record straight, but my mother-in-law did not ease up. It turned into a nightmare in the blink of an eye. She made an official complaint to the fire department claiming that I had caused the accident purposefully to destroy the house and force the current situation.

She said that I was money-hungry and had designs on her house and this was all part of my plan to take her house from under her. I was taken in for questioning and I understand why due to the nature of the allegations, but I was cleared off everything as the investigation proved it was an accident and there was no way someone could deliberately caused the accident.

She later showed up to the house while we were going through it to see what could be salvaged, and she made disparaging comments about how we should not be upset as these were just things. Yes, they were things. I’m not upset about the stove and the couch and the bed. I’m upset about the arts and crafts projects my sons made for Mother’s Day every year.

I’m upset about family heirlooms that are irreplaceable. I’m upset about the memories that were lost. The house was a fixer-upper when we bought it and we did a lot of the restoration ourselves. We had professionals handle things like the wiring, but we did the painting and the sanding and whatever we could to save money. My youngest son had a gaming console that he owned, which had been left at her house before the accident.

They’d been over for a weekend with their father and had taken the console to keep them occupied. My mother-in-law stated she didn’t have it, and we must have taken it back. My son argued with her that he’d had a conversation with her about leaving it there for the week so his cousin could use it while visiting. She gaslit him to the point of frustrated tears and kept saying we’d taken it back and it had probably been lost in the accident.

The truth came out from others that my mother-in-law had given it away after we’d refused her initial offer of hospitality. The shining ray of light through all this has been that this is the straw that broke the camel’s back for my husband. We all went no contact after these incidents and a few more, and we cut contact with her shortly before moving to our new place. She has been trying to get our address from family members, but she hasn’t had any luck just yet.

My husband made it clear that he’d have no problem cutting off anyone else in the family who gave her our address or contact information. If she can’t support us when we’re at our worst, she doesn’t deserve to be there when we’re at our best.

PikaPrincess420

66. Silence Isn’t Golden In This House

If the sun is up, my neighbor has to be making noise. Yet, he goes ballistic on anyone who makes even the tiniest peep after the sun goes down. This is what a regular day seems to be for him. From 8:00 AM–10:00 AM: mow the grass, and get out the LOUD leaf blower to blow even the tiniest particle of grass off the sidewalks and driveway.

10:00 AM–1:00 PM: get out the pressure washer to wash the sidewalks, driveway, siding on his house, his boat, his cars, the dog, whatever he can find; break for lunch, but play talk radio in his garage at maximum volume while he eats; fiddle with the engine on his motorcycle, revving it every 30 seconds to make sure it “sounds right.”

1:00 PM–6:00 PM: get into a screaming match with his wife, all on the front lawn; fiddle with the motorcycle again; get out the table saw and randomly cut a pile of lumber that he will never build anything with; get out the chainsaw to cut up wood for his fire pit; dinner time…with loud talk radio blasting in the background.

6:00 PM–9:00 PM: pressure wash the sidewalks…again; get out the weed trimmer and mercilessly destroy even the slightest hint of a blade of grass that is too tall; leaf blower time again; and, finally, the last shouting match with the wife, with talk radio playing, until the sun goes down and he is, apparently, done for the day.

And, then…9:05 PM: go bananas at a neighbor (me) for coming home and parking my car too loudly after dark.

Faustus_Fan

67. Happy Birthday

I had been seeing a girl for several months. It was an unofficial sort of thing, yet we introduced each other as boyfriend and girlfriend and all that. I had my birthday come around and had some friends over for drinks. One of those friends was Aaron. He was the last guy from our school friends’ group that I was still friends with. Pretty sure that was my 22nd birthday, so we’d been friends for a while.

My girlfriend was drinking a fair bit and decided that I wasn’t giving her enough attention, so she started flirting with him a bit. I didn’t really mind, since I knew she was intoxicated and I figured it wouldn’t go anywhere since I trusted him. Oh, how wrong I was. My girlfriend was absolutely plastered by the time things wound down and everyone started going home.

Aaron was intoxicated and was going to be sleeping on the couch. The two of them ended up on the couch making out and who knows what else. She started throwing up not long after and that sobered herself up enough to realize what she was doing. The next morning, my friend acted like we were still friends and I was just quietly waiting for it to be long enough that he could drive home.

I blocked him on everything the moment he left and had a talk with my girlfriend. I ended up forgiving her due to how out of her senses she was and how sorry she was. I found out a few days later that at least two of my other friends had been telling Aaron that he needed to stop because she was my girlfriend, and he had just made a bunch of excuses and ignored them.

Looking back, it wasn’t really a surprise. He’d started dating my previous ex a month after she broke up with me, then cheated on her with one of his little brother’s intoxicated friends and got dumped. This was almost ten years ago now. We broke up a month or so later when she and her family moved to another state.

Jungleman6

68. A Losing Game

My fiancé and I just got engaged a week ago. I proposed to him when I heard from our friends that he was sad that his proposal plans were ruined. We have been very happy this past week. But there was a huge downside. I guess this caught the attention of his bitter ex. She contacted me on through text and said that even though I may be marrying him, I would never be able to satisfy him the way she did.

For some background, early on in our relationship I was a bit insecure about this ex, especially how attractive she was. Still, my fiancé assured me that he would never, ever consider being with her again, because she mistreated him and used to force him into things he didn’t like. I soon grew out of these insecurities. Until I saw the videos she sent with the texts.

I decided to watch the videos she sent. It was a huge mistake. I have never seen my fiancé so passionate/vocal during intimacy with me. She even had a video them getting it on in a public place; I never knew he was into all that stuff. I got really upset and decided to check if he had kept any of these videos on his phone.

Turns out he hadn’t kept any of them, but it didn’t end there. I found out messages discussing them with his best friend Sarah. Apparently, his ex had sent these tapes to him as well to remind him how good it was between them. He had deleted them right away and blocked her, but was debating whether or not to tell me about this, and thus asked Sarah’s advice.

The conversation somehow turned into Sarah asking who was better in bed. My fiancé tried to evade the question, but she pressed the issue for some reason. It looked like she was teasing him and was being playful, but after a while he got mad and sent her a mini rant about his feelings. The important gist of it was basically this:

“If you look at it from a purely physical perspective, then yeah (ex) was better. She was more my type physically. She was very aggressive and passionate and always took the initiative, which I liked, and she was very ‘talented.’ But she was also horrible to me towards the end, she started using intimacy as a tool, and instead of feeling loved it became a desperate attempt for me to connect with her.”

Conversely, he said, intimacy with me made him realize that it was not just about the physical aspect. He said he felt loved and secure and happy when he was with me. Although the second half of his rant somehow saves it, I still feel really hurt by his admission that intimacy was better with her. I can’t get it out of my head.

He did tell me that he liked me being aggressive and taking initiative, and I do try to be more like that, but once things start happening I end up becoming more passive and let him take the lead. I know I can try being more aggressive, but I am afraid I can never be as good as her and I can never be the kind of girl that can give public “services.”

Now I wonder if he settled for me. Logically, I know I don’t have to be the best at everything for my fiancé. But it hurts because he is the best boyfriend I have ever had in all aspects that I can think of, and I always thought our bedroom life was amazing. Now I feel like I just got lucky because I was the first person he dated after that witch and the bar was set so low.

The ex managed to ruin what was supposed to be one of the happiest periods of my life. I don’t know how to bring this up to my fiancé without sounding like a nut with no self-control, who thought it was a good idea to watch the videos and snoop on his phone.

ThrowRAsadfiance2020

69. Be Careful What You Wish For

This isn’t your traditional server story, as I make pizzas, but it’s still a frustrating story from the food industry. I work at a chain pizza place, and like most pizza places our busiest day is Friday during the dinner rush. Almost all the staff is on hand and everything is on fire. It really didn’t help that we had a 40-pizza order that day due at 6:00 pm.

This all happened last Friday. A lady calls in (by the way, please order from the web) and orders four pizzas for delivery. Three of them were double pepperoni pizzas, which take way longer than you would think. I tell her that it will take about 1½  to 2 hours for delivery. This lady starts asking what the heck is up with that wait time, and I explain what I said before about the dinner rush.

She goes into a rampage, telling me that she’s been at work all day and she does not want to cook. “My family is starving, my kids are crying, and you’re just making them suffer more with that wait time!” Being the shy, timid college girl I am, all I could do is apologize and apologize as this lady is grilling me. Also, the wait time is only getting longer as orders are coming in.

She still hasn’t put in her order, and I can’t help make anything as I’m on the phone. My manager knows this. So he comes over to the phone and takes it from me. He asks the problem and then says, “Here, your wait time will be nothing and you won’t have to spend any more money!” Slams the phone down, ignores her order, and continues on with his work. Thank you, manager!

Vizzy1225

70. Order Up

I bartend, and was working a day shift. We aren’t a restaurant known for takeout, but we allow it and are set up through the various service apps. We had an UberEATs order in the middle of lunch hour, and eventually had a driver brusquely walk in and act a little aggressive when announcing himself. I had the order ready, so I asked him to verify what he was picking up.

He raised his voice, “It’s for [name], what’s the name say?” We don’t get a name. I told him that I didn’t have one, so I just needed him to tell me what was on the order. I’ve seen them check this dozens of times. It’s usually not inconvenient. Again, louder. “What’s the name say!? Are those the wings!?” It was three items together. None were wings.

I repeated that I didn’t have a name and told him that we didn’t have an order for wings. He got angry. “Are those the wings!?” I explained again that they weren’t wings, showed him that I had three items together, and asked him to clarify what order he was looking for. At this point, he snapped, and started screaming at the top of his lungs.

CAN I GET ANY SERVICE!?” The bar fell silent. I put the food down and told him to leave. He continued shouting. “FINE, I’LL LEAVE THEN!” He continued causing a scene as he made for the door. I told him he needed to get out immediately or I’d call the authorities. Then he spit on the floor, slammed the door open, and stormed off.

The bar stayed silent for a few more seconds before people returned to their meals. Not two minutes later, another driver showed up, verified the order, and left without issue in under a minute.

oppopswoft

71. Musical Chairs

I was setting up for a wedding of 200 guests. It was my job to put white chair covers on all the chairs and tie pink sashes around each one. A tedious and lengthy process. I was just about finished when my boss came in with the bride to check out the room. The bride took one look at the set-up and said, “What? I asked for black chair covers!”

I looked at her like, are you freaking kidding me? But my boss was all, “Oh I am so, so sorry, that is our mistake—we will get that fixed for you right away, don’t you worry!” And guess who then has to untie every perfectly tied bow, take off every perfectly aligned chair cover, and replace them with black ones? Me.

I managed to just finish in time for the wedding to start. I then went back to my office and check the paperwork for her wedding. We had these breakdown sheets that basically list what is required for each wedding, and these went back and forth between the bride and the planner many times before everything was settled and agreed upon.

I looked through every single draft of this witch’s paperwork and NOT ONCE were black chair covers mentioned. Only white, in every draft. I checked my emails too to see if she had mentioned it there, nope. Nowhere in any of our records had she asked for black chair covers…yet she still complained to my boss that our screw-up with the chair covers had caused her so much stress she could barely enjoy the day.

SushierKat

72. Cruella De Vil

Today my mother-in-law was over and as always, she started to talk about children. We’ve been married for eight years now but we don’t have children because we don’t want them. My mother-in-law has a hard time wrapping her head around this, though. She started to wail that we’re going to be too old soon (we’re both 30), and I kind of feel like she thinks our dog is to blame.

I think she sees our dog as some kind of a hindrance that prevents us from having children because sometimes she says things like, “If you didn’t have the dog, you could have children more safely” or “It’s so weird that you care so much about an animal but don’t even think about having your own child.” Our German shepherd is 14 years old now.

Of course, my husband and me realize that his life is coming to an end and it’s really hard because he has been my dog since I was a teenager and my husband has come to love him even more. He’s like a child to us and it’s very difficult to say goodbye. He doesn’t have any terminal illnesses, though, and the vet said that as long as he’s still eating, drinking and walking, we don’t have to think about putting him down yet.

So this time my mother-in-law got upset because we asked her to close this topic about children once and for all. Whether or not we have children, it’s none of her business, and we’re definitely not going to have them just because she wants us to. She went out of the living room and to the foyer to get her jacket that was hanging there on the rack.

Between the living room and the foyer, there’s this short hallway and our dog was walking there. I went out of the living room just in time to see her snarling, “Get out of the way, you dirty mutt!” as she kicked him on the side. The dog staggered aside, surprised, as he has never been hit before. Even when he was a puppy and was doing all kinds of mischief, we never ever physically punished him and this witch wasn’t going to either.

So I was like, “What are you doing? Why would you kick the dog?” She said, “Well why is he getting in my way, moving like a snail! I don’t have time to stand here forever! ” Yes, lady, the dog is slow. It’s because he’s old and doesn’t have the energy anymore to run around all the time. So…MOVE AROUND HIM! Honestly, she could have easily walked past him, the hallway is wide enough.

But no, she probably hoped that no one would see her taking her frustration about us not having children out on the dog. I told her that the dog lives in this house and she doesn’t, and that she doesn’t have any right to treat our pet like that. The dog doesn’t have any fault in anything. If we wanted to have children, we would have them regardless of owning a dog, he’s not an obstacle.

I told her that if she ever does something like that again, I will rip her head off. My husband didn’t see his mother kicking the dog, but he heard the noise and came to see what’s going on. I told him that his mother attacked our dog. First, he couldn’t believe it, and then he blazed in fury. He was 100% on my side and he told her to leave our house and never come back.

He said she’ll never step over the doorstep of our house because our dog deserves a peaceful remaining time of his life and she’s a danger to him. To be honest, I was pleasantly surprised. I knew he puts me above his mother but I never thought he has that much of a spine. My mother-in-law was starting to say something, but my husband dragged her into the foyer.

He didn’t even let her get dressed. He threw her jacket and her boots out the door and told her to never contact us again and that if we ever decide to have children, she’ll never see them. My mother-in-law was offended beyond words. She was like, “All because of one dirty, shedding, unsanitary piece of hair? You’ll both regret it. ”

Our dog is fine, in case you’re wondering. My husband insisted that we go to the vet to make sure she didn’t cause some internal damage, but everything is ok, as much as it can be at his age. My husband blocked my mother-in-law’s phone and it looks like he’s very serious about going no contact with her. So am I. I will never understand cruelty towards animals.

BlackBerryBlack

Monster in lawUnsplash

73. Sharing Isn’t Caring

I’ve always had issues with my mother-in-law, but this year, I’m so angry I can’t see straight. We arrived at my in-laws (a four hour drive) for Christmas on Saturday. We were only staying one night and then heading back home. We don’t visit them often, mainly due to my job. I’m an OB/GYN and have very few days off. We get there on Saturday and my father-in-law is nowhere to be found.

This was after my kids hugged and kissed my mother-in-law hello. My husband asked where his dad was. Mother-in-law:  “Oh, we have both not been feeling well. We’ve had vomiting and diarrhea for two days. He is in the bathroom.” My husband: “Did you guys eat something bad?” Mother-in-law: “No. Everyone has been sick at the office!” I could have screamed. I nearly burst into tears.

Me: “How could you do this? How could you knowingly expose us to something like that? It’s Christmas! And you know I work with newborns and pregnant women!” Mother-in-law: “Well if I would have told you…you wouldn’t have come to visit.” My mouth just fell open. My husband told her that it wasn’t right and asked what if her grandchildren got sick?

Her: “They’ll be fine!” And guess freaking what. On Christmas Eve, I was up with my children. All throwing up. All night long. I woke up this morning and have been vomiting. I’m going to have to let my partner do my scheduled C-section tomorrow. And my kids are unable to enjoy Christmas because of my stupid in-laws. I’m so angry. I just don’t even know what to do.

fireballrose

74. Birds Of A Feather (And Other Things)

The old lady who lived below me left me multiple cryptic letters blaming me for the birds chirping too loudly in the mornings. Not pet birds. The sparrows and other birds outside. This went on for months. The notes were quite accusatory. For instance, one of the notes said, “AGAIN, your bird dodo is on my railings, bird seeds on my porch & chairs, & your birds are ruining my nite rest, wee hours of the morning, birds in your feeder chirping.”

I did not have a bird feeder when I received this note. Yes, for a brief period I had had a bird feeder, but I had taken it down after a few months after multiple cryptic letters. Also, eventually, management had gotten involved and took her side even though bird feeders were explicitly allowed per the lease. So, no more bird feeder.

However, there were several trees nearby, including one that literally hung onto both her and my balconies. I assure you that birds existed before I set up the feeder, and they continued to exist after. My sister and BIL took over the lease four years ago, and they still get the occasional note from “bird lady.” Apartment management has even inspected their unit to verify there’s no bird feeder or any other bird luring devices.

NarcolepticKnitter

75. Government Gridlock

My friend lied about me at our government job to the point where I was investigated by the Attorney General and ultimately had to leave a job and a boss that I loved. She quit when we found out it was her who lied, as she knew my boss would can her sorry butt. Oh, and I was the one who got her hired in the first place. Also, I can’t forget the best part of all.

I was one week postpartum on maternity leave when she decided it was the appropriate time to do all this. Talk about some people. It was rough.

puzzleslut91

76. Them’s Fightin’ Words

My best friend since middle school got me knocked unconscious after starting a confrontation with a large group of guys. He proceeded to tell everyone we worked with that I had started it. A few weeks later, I had returned from a holiday to my home country and he had moved one of his friends into my room at the place we were renting. I never talked to him again.

scratch32

77. Tinder For The Fire

My husband just messaged me on Tinder. I accidentally discovered he had Tinder on his phone, and I catfished him with a fake profile…and he messaged me. We’ve been together for 20 years and married for 15 years. I don’t even know how to approach this with him without crying or screaming. I don’t think I can trust him anymore.

ThrowRA_sadangry

78. To The Left, To The Left

I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. This friend is in a serious relationship. My wife then said to her, “Sweetie, remember it’s your choice. Don’t settle for just anyone. That’s the mistake I made. Who knows who else I could have had. [My name] was my very last resort, and now look where it made me end up.”

Hearing that honestly broke my heart in two. So I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Today after breakfast I told her we should “sit down and talk.” She was hesitant, but I said it was important. We went to the living room and she said to me, “I already know what this is about.” Of course, the waterworks started happening right away.

I told her what she said had deeply hurt me. Through her tears, she said, “I was just joking, I wasn’t serious.” She then went on saying stuff like “I love you, I love you.” I told her I can’t be in a marriage where my wife doesn’t love me the same way I love her. She tried to tell me that she loved me and that I meant something to her.

But it was all false. She said she “didn’t want to lose me.” I told her I don’t think this marriage was the right decision. And from there I basically told her it was over. I told her I knew how she really felt about me, and that it was messed up that she basically played with my emotions. We have no kids, and I pay fully for the apartment we live in, and I own almost everything we have other than her clothes.

I even pay for her car. So after all of this, she’ll have little to nothing left. Before our marriage, we agreed to sign a pre-nup, and at that moment, I’ve never been so happy with a decision I’ve made in my life. After that, it was a few seconds of awkward silence, before she said to me “Screw you.” She started screaming at me.

She started telling me, “You just can’t end things like that.” I told her I could do whatever I wanted, and that’s when she became very hostile. She screamed at me saying, “You’re the worst relationship I’ve ever been in. You think I can’t find someone again?” “Do you think you’ll ever find someone as good as me? You’re an idiot.”

She grabbed her bag and phone and said, “I’m leaving!” before slamming the door behind her. At that moment, I felt like I was on one of those dramatic sitcoms you’d find on TV. I sat down on the couch and cried, and I’m still crying as I type this up. It’s both happy and sad tears. I knew it was only time before she cheated on me or left me.

She never loved me, that much was obvious. Our relationship only went one way, and I feel like a complete idiot for not seeing it earlier. I’m going to start the process to annul our marriage. Tomorrow, I’m going to start throwing all of her belongings into trash bags, because that’s essentially where they belong, and give them back to her.

Visaul

79. Found In Translation

This happened years ago, but it still feels like it was yesterday. I was serving at a Steak ‘n Shake, and was about 70 lbs. bigger than I am now. I’m very white, with blonde hair, so you wouldn’t know by looking at me that I’m almost fluent in Spanish. As I was cleaning a table one night, the one right next to it was seated for me.

While wiping the dirty table, I heard the new table talking loudly about me in Spanish. When I understood their words, my blood ran cold. They were saying how big my butt was, how fat I was, and how they didn’t want to be served by someone so disgusting, not knowing that I 100% understood them. My initial reaction was anger and tears.

I wanted to give them bad service and not even try to be nice. But, I wanted to be the bigger person. I walked to the table and did my “Welcome to Steak ‘n Shake! My name is Brandi and I’m here to help you out” speech…but I said it all in Spanish. The look of shock and embarrassment on their faces gave me one of the greatest feelings ever. Then, I listed every burger, every milkshake flavor and every side item in Spanish.

For the entire meal, I spoke no English at all, and I gave them the kindest and most attentive service I’ve ever given anyone. The nicer I was, the more humiliated and ashamed they were. When one of them asked quietly if he could have some more water, I already had a tray in my hand with his water on it. They refused to speak Spanish to me, and would hardly even look at me.

When they left, they closed their ~$25 check, then left me a $50 bill under a plate for my tip. Such a glorious day! Everyone always asks why I didn’t spit in their food, give them bad service, or ring in their order wrong. Hurt people with kindness baby! That’s the way I do it.

brandimariee6

80. I’d Prefer Not To

To start off, I’m not a server at the moment but this happened to one of ours. The other day we had a customer go OFF on a cashier because they asked if they replaced something due to an allergy or if it was just a preference. For what it’s worth the corporate office mandates that we ask this question for their records.

She had substituted some pasta for our gluten-free rice noodles and because it’s a lot more work for us to deal with it and a lot of people just honestly like the taste of rice noodles, we want to know if we strictly need to do it as an allergy order. This lady, who was I’d say 50 or 60, got real close, and in that Mom Whisper started lecturing him on how rude it is that he asked.

She says how it’s none of his business, how she has Never Been So Insulted, how we should just treat everything that COULD POSSIBLY BE GLUTEN FREE as if it was an allergy, etc., etc., etc. He replied: “Okay, that’s great, but is it an allergy or a preference?” therefore cementing him in my heart as one of my favorites. As expected, it was a preference.

RexMori

81. You’re The Problem

I had a bride that openly spoke complete trash about the groom’s family in front of his face. She would say that they were “crazy, unclassy, and annoying.” Yet, on the day of the wedding, her family was actually the difficult one to deal with, while the groom’s family was absolutely lovely. On top of all this, the bride yelled at all of the vendors all day, resulting in the videographers leaving after just one hour of shooting.

The photographer cried in the bathroom, and the groom apologized to me for her behavior all night.

Toronto_Planner

82. Tie One On

I was hired to assist with makeup at a wedding. I was eight months pregnant and had to tie the mother’s sari. While I was tying it, the mother told me I was doing it wrong and wanted me to do it her way. I told her that she wouldn’t be able to walk if I tied it the way she was requesting. She started to get frustrated, so I just gave in.

For what it’s worth, this woman didn’t know how to tie a sari, since she apparently doesn’t wear them. Minutes later, she came out and started screaming at the wedding planner, complaining that I didn’t know how to tie a sari. She was in tears! The planner took her away, calmed her down, and tied her sari the way I did in the first place. But it wasn’t over.

I was left in the room with the bridesmaids and the bride. The bride turned to me and starts screaming, “You ruined my wedding day! How dare you make my mother cry. You are a horrible person and are ruining the most important day of my life.” I couldn’t help it…I started laughing and I couldn’t stop. It was so dramatic for no reason.

Nothing was ruined. It took 10 minutes to fix. Just as the wedding planner walked in, the bride started really tripping out and screaming at me, “Get out! Get out! I don’t want to see your face, you ruined everything.” Then she started to cry.

Honestly, I shouldn’t have done it but I laughed even harder and said, “You are in for a surprise if you think a poorly tied sari is the worst thing in the world.” I then turned to the planner and told her to pay me so I could go home and put my feet up. The wedding planner called me the next week to help with another wedding…I said no.

hreem

83. No Entry

At my sister’s wedding, part of the reception was held indoors, in an area that isn’t wheelchair accessible. My disabled wife and I had to miss out on that part of it. We found out about it on the day, minutes before that part of the wedding was due to start. A little while after, we realized that there actually is a way to get into the area.

We would just need to go through an inside room that had been set up with tables for dinner. I found my sister and asked them to ask the staff to let us through. My blood still boils at her reply. My sister forbade us from going through the room, saying she didn’t want anyone going into it until it was dinnertime. So my wife and I were left sitting alone outside while she and her friends had a chocolate fountain and open bar.

I came about THIS close to giving her a loud piece of my mind and bailing on the wedding.

kahlzun

84. A Hairy Situation

When I was younger I dealt with a lot of bad situations. My only real escape from that was my hair. I know how silly that sounds, but it is what it is. When stuff started to fall apart, I’d turn to my hair and use it as a medium to control and reflect how I felt. I’d cut it, dye it, style it weird, whatever, and it would make me feel better. In 2011, I gave myself an 80s-like purple mohawk.

This involved shaving off a good portion of my hair, and it was the last time I truly felt like I wasn’t in control of my life. Since then, I’ve let my hair grow without much messing with it other than regular maintenance. This year after the birth of my third child, my hair reached the length of my thighs. To me, my long beautiful hair is a reflection of how far I’ve come with my overall mental health and happiness.

It’s very, very important to me. This brings me to now. With three children under five, my long hair stays in a ponytail, braid, or bun. Little hands tend to pull on it otherwise. This fact for some reason has been EXTREMELY annoying to my husband’s stepmother. Every time I’d see her, at least once she would bring up what a waste my hair was on me.

She would tell me that a mother shouldn’t have a “rat’s nest” like I have or something snide like that. She’s annoying and I ignore her for the most part because she just wants attention and I won’t give it to her. Until yesterday. I was sitting on my father-in-law’s couch, breastfeeding my youngest and having a pleasant conversation with my husband and father-in-law about what we were watching on the TV.

Suddenly, I felt a tug on my hair and before I could pull completely away, I heard the scissors close. There’s my mother-in-law and my four-year-old standing behind the couch, both laughing as she holds a large portion of what was my bun. The three of us turned and stared at her. It was like looking at a cartoon villain. Now I’m devastated and trying not to cry in front of my children.

My husband starts yelling at her, asking her if she insane. My four-year-old starts to cry, which is followed by my mother-in-law, who tearfully claims, “It’s just a joke, it’ll grow back. We thought y’all would laugh.” The whole situation falls apart with my husband arguing on my behalf, my three children and I crying, my mother-in-law snot bubble sobbing, and my father-in-law trying to get us all to calm down.

We end up leaving with my husband telling his dad to divorce his wife because being married to an overgrown eight-year-old is probably against the law. Which I would have giggled at if I wasn’t so upset. My husband drives us around looking for a stylist that will take a walk in, and I call my sister-in-law to come sit with me. She meets us at her stylist’s work place.

She was off work but came back as a favor, thank God. Looking at my tattered hair was horrible. Large chunks where gone, the length was all over the place. It was awful. I felt like I lost a body part. Luckily the stylist was very talented and salvaged my hair to right above my shoulders. It looks nice, but I’m still sad looking at it. I don’t know how long it’ll take to get over this.

My mother-in-law sent me a couple half-baked apology texts like, “Sorry but don’t be a baby, hair does grow you know” type of stuff.

thatsahardpass

85. Strings Very Much Attached

I’m engaged, and planning on getting married next fall to my fiancée. We want something very small. We have a guest list of 11 people and we want to wear clothes we already own. When we first met, she was in a suit and I was wearing a white dress. We have a mutual best friend who is helping us design custom rings, and we want a short ceremony where we just sign the certificate and we’re done, followed by a meal at our favorite restaurant.

My parents transferred me $10,000, and her parents did the same. We did not ask for this. We both called our parents and explained that we were fine for money, but they said it was a “wedding gift,” so we thanked them. My mother-in-law wanted to know how we were doing the outfits and we told her that I’d be in a dress and my fiancée would be in a suit.

She has spent two weeks trying to convince my fiancée to wear a dress so she will look “pretty” for the wedding. Every time either of us has tried to say we’d already chosen our outfits and explained why, she insisted that we both had to buy wedding dresses. My parents, meanwhile, have been nagging both of us about our guest list.

We said small and intimate from the start, but they’ve given me expanded guest lists, which includes cousins, uncles, and aunts I’ve never even met. When we tried to reinforce the “small and intimate” aspect, they brushed us off. So we met both sets of parents for lunch earlier. They said that there was a miscommunication and the money from her parents was actually a “dress budget” for both of us, meant to only be used on dresses, and the money from my parents was for “the guest list” so it was meant to cover venue and catering for an expanded guest list.

We both went away from the table to talk. We discussed it and agreed that the money wasn’t worth it, so we brought up our banking apps and transferred the money back. Then we went back to the table, sat back down, and told them what we’d done. Chaos broke loose. They responded that we were acting like children, and we said that we wouldn’t be told what to do.

My mom and my future mother-in-law promptly burst into tears, and both fathers looked pretty angry. They told us that the money was meant for us, and we said that we wouldn’t accept anything from them that came with strings attached. We repeated that we had all wedding elements, including our outfits and guest list, already decided.

We said it was final and we wouldn’t be taking suggestions, to which they said we were being unfair by not giving them a say. We then thanked them for the meal, put down a $20 each (our meals came to about $15) and left without another word. We felt justified at the time, but since then we’ve both gotten messages from our siblings, saying that we were rude to our respective parents when they were just trying to do something nice, and now we feel like we went too far. I still don’t think so.

Permalink

86. Total Meltdown

I saw a public freak out recently that reminded me of something that happened when I was a hostess in my early 20s at a steak house. A family of four came in, and when I sat them, the mom (I’ll call her Karen) wanted to move to an area where all the tables were full. I told her she could wait back up front and we’d seat her when one of the tables opened.

She insisted on standing right by the bus station so she had a view of the people sitting in her desired area. The four of them were in the way of guests and servers but Karen did not notice, she was too busy staring daggers at people eating. I went to the manager, who tried to move her to no avail. Finally, we just let them stay because we noticed a couple in a booth packaging up their food.

I checked in a few minutes later to see if that table had left yet and was dismayed to see they had ordered dessert and coffee. Karen was still standing there, watching them. The kids were bored and running up and down the wheelchair ramp. I asked Karen again to move back down to the waiting area as she was blocking servers and her kids were an accident waiting to happen.

She loudly asked when her table would be ready and pointed right at the couple sipping their coffee. Knowing we were talking about them, the couple looked at us and smiled. A disturbing realization dawned on me. It hit me then that they were not leaving on purpose. Oh dear God. Karen realized it as well, because she got very angry.

She yelled that they were keeping her booth from her and we should kick them out. I told her we would not ask anyone to leave until they were ready. Then I watched in horror as the woman approached the couple. Karen: “You’re done here, this is my table now. Pay the bill and go.” Couple (Smiling sweetly): “We just got our coffee and dessert.”

Karen: “THEN TAKE IT TO GO!! WE ARE HUNGRY AND YOU’RE IN OUR BOOTH.” Couple: “This is our booth. It’s not yours until we leave.” Karen raged insults at them until the manager came rushing up to help. He tried to intervene but could not be heard over her screaming about her starving children. The couple kept their cool the whole time, nibbling their dessert and stirring their coffee at a sloth’s speed.

Finally, the manager had enough and told the woman to go. She was utterly FLOORED that we were asking her to go and not the couple. Then she escalated it. She picked up an empty dessert plate from their table and chucked it across the room, where it hit a wall and smashed into pieces. The manager screamed for someone to 9-1-1, since this was before everyone had cell phones.

I remember trying to hide my smile from the people around me. What adult acts like this? This woman was in her 40s! There were a ton of open booths too, just not in that area. Then Karen’s husband appeared, grabbed her by the sleeve, and started pulling. She let him lead her toward the front door as she continued to yell insults at us.

She called the manager a loser and mocked his career choice. She told me I was “a plain nothing going nowhere” and “worthless,” and when they’d gone, I went into the back for a while to hide. I needed to get away from people. When I returned, the server of the couple ran up to me. He said, “That couple left but they wanted to talk to you.”

Apparently, they felt so bad about how that woman acted. They saw her watching them and she was being so rude, so they decided to take their time to mess with her. They didn’t think she’d do that! They waited a few minutes to talk, but they thought I went home and asked the server to give me something as an apology.

The server then handed me a $100 bill. It was a bad night but it kind of made me feel better. It’s not every day a customer acknowledges when they’ve made your life miserable. If the couple had just left, none of that would have happened. Nothing they did hurt me, of course, but the insults from Karen sure did. Thankfully, Karen was never seen again.

It’s not easy to be a young kid making $5 an hour and being berated by people who think they’re better than you.

votedog

87. You’ll Pay For This

I just remembered a lovely moment of karma from a few years back. I was serving on July 4th in a vacation town in California at an upscale German bratwurst place. Everyone mid-day drinking, we were wildly understaffed, and absolutely slammed. I’m a really fast and sweet server even when I’m busy, but I had 10 tables and I was pretty frazzled.

One of my tables was a middle-aged couple and their adult son. I can’t remember the specifics, but they were really condescending, high-maintenance, and impatient. When it came time for them to pay, I was pretty relieved for them to leave. The man paid with card, signed the receipt, crumpled the customer copy, and put away his card.

We were trying to turn tables as fast as possible because we were so busy, so I picked up his signed receipt and thanked them. Then, they sat there for what felt like forever. I didn’t think much of it because I was wildly busy. When I went to clear their table after they left, I was really confused. The original itemized receipt was still on the table with a stack of cash, enough to cover the whole bill and an OK tip—BUT THEY ALREADY PAID AND TIPPED ME WITH CARD.

I guess the guy was more sloshed than I thought, completely forgot he had already paid, and then paid again in cash and just left. It was definitely not on purpose, because the “tip” on the credit card receipt and cash “tip” on the cash payment were almost the same, and they were complete jerks. In the middle of a hellish shift, I almost started crying with joy.

It came out to a $100 “tip” for a $75 bill. A little blessing from the server gods on a hard day. Wishing accidentally generous customers on you all.

elderlyfemme

88. The Tax Man

I work security at a bar that is open until 2 AM, nightly. The job is mostly checking IDs at the front door and spotting guests who are clearly in their cups so I can cut them off. Last Friday, a small group of young 20-something guys showed up around 8 pm and started drinking like they were at a college fraternity party.

While I am checking IDs at the front door a few hours later, one of the bros gets kicked out by a manager.  I’m told to not let him back in. Cool. I asked if he was driving, he said no. I offered to call him a taxi, but he told me to go screw myself because he was getting an Uber. This guy was so out of it, he couldn’t stand or see straight.

10 minutes later, he is still there and I ask what’s up. This time he decided to insult my ethnicity (I’m Jewish). A few more minutes pass, and he comes up and asks me to call him an Uber. I tell him that not how it works, he has to do it. He throws another Jewish joke at me and orders me to call him an Uber and hands me his unlocked phone.

This is the part where I could have just opened the app, ordered a ride, and left the driver a massive tip, but this guy needed to pay the jerk tax. I opened his contacts and found exactly who I wanted to call: his mother. I told her that her son was out of it, got kicked out, and needed a ride. She was livid and said she would be there in 15 minutes.

I give the phone back to him and said his ride was coming. That guy sobered up so fast when his mother pulls up and immediately starts shrieking at him in front of everyone. He gets in the car, crying at this point, and I tell the mother about his comments, which sends her into another rant before driving away. I wish I could follow up with what happened to him, but I doubt he will be drinking anytime soon.

thinkdeep

89. Tongues Will Wag

Way back more than a dozen years ago when my now-husband and I met, we came to a rapid mutual decision—friends with extremely frequent benefits. Neither of us wanted re-marriage. We both had kids, though, and religious parents, so we tied it up in a nice “we are dating” bow and presented it as a package deal. My parents loved him.

His dad was kind of iffy with me, but his stepmother hates me. She’d managed to run off the ex-wife , so she didn’t appreciate a newcomer to share attention with. I am a brutally honest person by nature, but I put up with, ignored, or rolled my eyes and walked away from far, far more than I should have. I wasn’t trying to be the bigger person, I was simply an adult who didn’t need or want to play mean girl games.

What finally tipped the scale was when my guy’s brother, after a nasty divorce, found an extremely sweet, very innocent young woman to date. The stepmom’s target shifted from me (a hard target) to my now sister-in-law (a soft target). She could bring this young woman to tears with her barbed tongue and insults, and she enjoyed it. She was always waiting until her boys were distracted, then she would move in for the hit.

One Saturday evening, the stepmom was just viciously tearing down this girl (and me) while we were BBQing. My guy and his brother were out at the grill with my father-in-law and well distracted. The stepmom went on a hateful, relentless rant about their ex wives, and how they didn’t or couldn’t love us or they would have proposed by now.

Frankly I was ignoring her and eyeballing my now-husband’s cute little butt through the window, making some mental plans for alone time once we ditched the rest of the family. It was in that window that I caught the reflection of the innocent girl with tears running down her face, and my mind snapped back to the conversation just in time to hear that the “boys” only had room in their hearts for one woman—and that was her! I had the perfect reply without thinking.

“You can have his heart,” I said. “I’m more interested in his package and tongue.” It rolled out of my brain and off my tongue before any filter could catch it. My sister-in-law choked, then laughed until she was laugh-crying, laughing and snorting at the same time. The stepmom screamed and cried all the way out to the “boys,” wailing about the perverted godless heathen sitting in her house. Oh, but it got better.

When my father-in-law and brother-in-law both high-fived my guy, she wailed louder, ran into the house, and locked herself in her bedroom with a resounding slam of the door. My father-in-law decided he liked me that night, handed me a drink, and welcomed me to the family. He also told my sister-in-law to up her game. He knows his wife is a witch, and what she starts we are clear to finish in his book, no harm no foul.

To this day, my sister-in-law and I can make the witch run away from us and leave us in blessed peace with one simple tongue gesture.

Permalink

90. The Truth Will Out

My mom was never a good mother, and I ran away at 13 to live with my dad. I then found out I have a medical condition—a tilted uterus. It never caused me issues so I never paid the news any mind. Fast forward a few months, I’m 14 now. I’m home at my dad’s alone, and suddenly I collapse in agonizing pain. I’ll try to describe the pain.

My back felt like someone had a hold of my lower spine and was trying to pull it from my body, while simultaneously twisting a knife in my stomach. All I could do was crawl my way to my bed and cry. My dad and his girlfriend came home to hear me screaming. He asked what was wrong, and I tried to act tough. “Oh it’s nothing, just my period. I’ll be fine, etc.”

His girlfriend told him that’s not normal and I needed to go to the hospital. Being the manly man he is, he didn’t want to handle lady problems, and called my mom to take me. Well, my mom shows up angry, but remains outwardly calm…until I get in the car and we pull away. Instantly, she came in with a horrific accusation. She starts telling me that I’m probably having a miscarriage.

That this is what I get for being a hussy and getting pregnant at 14. I, between sobbing and screaming in pain, try to explain what the doctor told me about my tilted uterus. She, of course, calls me a liar and tells me to shut up. We get to the ER, sign in, and she’s explaining her theory to the nurse. We finish and are told to go wait.

While in the waiting room, she never said a word to me, just glared. The nurse calls me in and tells her to wait until the exam is done. She’s not happy about this, but, not willing to argue with the nurse, she sits back down. The exam finishes, and she’s called in. The doctor explains everything I had tried to and follows up with, “She’s definitely not pregnant. It’s just a bad month and it will pass in a day or two.”

He says he can give me something for the pain, but my mom denied that offer. I was sent home to just wait it out with instructions to take it easy. Get in the car, still crying, no words from her. It’s very tense. I admit, knowing my mom, that this next sentence was a mistake. But in my delirious state I just wanted my mom’s comfort, and for her not to be mad at me as I did nothing wrong.

I said, “I told you I wasn’t lying.” She instantly pulls over the car, and simply but very angrily says, “Get out of my car now.” She left me there to get myself home. No cell, no money, in crippling pain. I managed to walk a few blocks very slowly, and the last few I literally (I really wish I was exaggerating) crawled back to my dad’s.

After finally getting home, his girlfriend found me and helped me up to my bed. She got me Tylenol, a hot water bottle and all that. I told them what my mom did. My dad’s girlfriend was just stunned while my dad just shakes his head in disgust at his ex’s actions. That was the last time I spoke to or saw my mom for eight years.

Permalink

91. Bad Vibes

I work at an upscale restaurant. We have two floors, and last night I was serving upstairs. We only have hosts downstairs. When we are on a wait, the hosts will see when there are open tables upstairs, page the guests and send them up. A server then greets them, sees where the host had pre-planned for them in our system, and we seat them.

Now that you know how that works, I’ll also just add in here that I am one of the top servers in my restaurant, consistently selling the most every week, and I’m a trainer. So my managers all love and appreciate me and mostly have my back. Okay, so the Karen family, is paged that their table is ready. They walk upstairs and stand by the host stand while I finish at my table and make my way over to them.

I said, “Hey guys, how’s it going” They just stared at me. Finally, the wife goes, “Do we just seat ourselves?” I, holding a paper cocktail menu and silverware, after walking over to them and feeling like I had made it clear I was about to seat them, said, “Nope that’s my job! You guys can follow me this way.” They follow to the table for six and they all take their seats.

I slide the silverware I was holding down to everyone individually instead of just setting six silverware on the end of the table for them to hand out. I said, “Our menu is all virtual, and there is a link on your table. I’ll be right back!” I come back and ask if they have any questions or if they’d like to get some drinks started. Again, silence.

I just pick someone and say, “Okay, can I grab you something to drink sir?” We don’t have what he asks for, but I suggest something similar and he says okay. The wife asks what we have on tap. I said, “We have a lot, what do you like to drink?” She said “I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking YOU.” I say, “Alright, we have 27 kinds on draft plus 19 that are bottles, so if you tell me what you’re usually into, I can guide you through what will work for you.”

She goes “Jesus Christ, I’ll just have a Bud Light since you can’t sell a drink.” I, looking stunned, laugh and say okay. Her husband then turns his attention to me and says, “Are you having a bad night?” To which I say, “No sir, are you?” and he said, “No, we are just trying to have a nice family night and you’re rude. You’ve been rude the whole time and you threw our silverware at us.”

I’m stunned so I just say, “I definitely did not throw it at you guys I was trying to slide it down the table for all of you, sorry if it came off that way. I’m not having a bad night and I haven’t had an attitude.” The wife jumps in and says, “It all started up front when you said, ‘THAT’S MY JOB’ (she changes the entire tone I said this in, of course) and now you’ve just been rude to all of us this whole experience.”

For what it’s worth, we’re like five minutes in from them walking up the stairs at this point. Then she yells, so loudly that all my other co-workers hear, “YOUR AURA IS UGLY AND WE DONT APPRECIATE THAT, JUST SEND US A NEW SERVER.” It took everything I had, like I mean, everything, not to say anything rude back to her.

I just said, “I’m happy to grab you a new server, and I’ll just grab my manager for you too while I’m at it.” My manager goes over, knowing everything from my side already, and they tell him I was rude by seating them and making that comment about how they could not seat themselves, when “there was no host at the stand so we just assumed it was pick your own table.”

They also mention throwing their silverware, and “my attitude and aura are just plain ugly.” My manager stuck up for me and said I’m actually one of their best, but they still insisted on another server. Imagine being one of the three other servers having already heard and seen this go down, and now it’s your table. That server made $3 on $80, by the way.

Screw you guys, my aura is shiny.

Glittakitten

92. That’s The Tea

So my mother- and father-in-law have been staying with us for a week. It’s the first time I have ever had to stay with her. I’ve never particularly liked her but I stay civil for the sake of my husband. However, in the past week she has made my blood boil. Some of it I can put aside as just lifestyle differences. For example, she came and rearranged my kitchen, threw out some of my things, etc.

What is annoying me beyond my belief is that she was whispering and complaining about me to my husband just seconds ago, less than 5m away. We live in a small two-bedroom apartment, so it’s not like there is heaps of space. My husband and I have a great relationship and even he thinks that his parents are overbearing. Anyway, I walked outside and offered her tea.

I then told her she did a lot of talking and must be thirsty by now. She got all embarrassed and mumbled that she didn’t meant for me to hear it. I told her if she wants private conversations, my home is not the right place. That was as passive aggressive as I could be with a smile on my face.

fingerprintsindirt

93. Blood Under The Bridge

My mother-in-law killed her grandchild, my daughter. She was two years old at the time. My husband and I let her babysit the baby while we were busy with job-related things. It was summertime and they were staying in the mother-in-law’s house that has a pond next to it. My daughter loved water; bath-time was her favorite time of day.

They were playing at the edge of the pond and then the mother-in-law remembered she had to take clothes out of the dryer, so she left a two-year-old alone next to the quite a large body of water. My daughter’s childlike curiosity plus her love of water resulted in her getting into the deep part of the pond and drowning. All because she considered clothes in the dryer an important enough reason to leave a toddler unsupervised.

When she realized what happened, she started to panic and call for help. Her neighbor heard her, they got into the pond and called an ambulance, but it was too late. Imagine what it’s like for a parent to come home to the person you trusted your child with and they tell you your child is gone. Somehow though, it got worse than all that.

Throughout it all, she was begging us not to involve the authorities into this. She kept repeating it was an accident and she “doesn’t know how it could have happened,” “was only gone for a moment,” ”feels even worse than we do” and “calling the authorities won’t bring her back.” We did call them, of course, and she was charged with negligence and sentenced to three years behind bars, which, in my opinion, was too light of a punishment.

Now recently she was released, and my husband was the first person she looked for contact with. He never once visited her while she was behind bars. It doesn’t matter that she served her sentence, neither I or my husband will ever forgive her for this. Besides, she hasn’t asked for forgiveness; all she gave us were excuses and more excuses.

In the courtroom, my husband told her she’s not his mother anymore and that he never wants to see her face again. Our marriage was damaged too, we were depressed, we fought a lot, and there were times when we were on the brink of divorce. We separated for a while, and I left for another country thinking that this was it for us. However, my husband came to look for me and we managed to save our family and continue our life together.

I couldn’t bring myself to have any more children for a long time but eventually, I got pregnant again and last summer we welcomed our son. He’s nine months old now. Obviously, we weren’t going to tell my mother-in-law we’re parents again, but then my nightmare happened. She saw us walking with a baby stroller and realized that once more she has a grandchild.

So she tried to get in the contact with my husband. First, she reproached him for not visiting her, cried about how hard it was for her to spend all those years behind bars, that she shouldn’t have been there because she’s too old for that, how could he do this to his own mother, how could he abandon her, etc. Then she was like, “But I saw you have a new baby, I’m so glad I have a grandchild again!”

Then she went on about is it a boy or a girl, when will she be able to see them and meet them because she wants to take care of them so much. My husband told her immediately that she doesn’t have anything, this is our child, and ours only. Our son doesn’t have a grandmother, we’ll be telling him this as he grows up, and he will never ever in a million years be anywhere around her.

We’re 100% on the same page about this. The loss of our daughter still hurts and we’re going to do everything we can to protect our son from her. He doesn’t need an irresponsible grandmother who would likely endanger his life just like she did with his sister. My mother-in-law was shocked to hear this and began to wail about us being so evil and cruel towards her, that we’re going to hold that against her forever even though she paid for it and we cannot be so heartless to prevent her from seeing her grandchild.

But what was she thinking? What was she hoping for? That we’re really going to let her around our baby? That we’ll ever trust her with babysitting again? Honestly, I’m not sure if I can leave my son with any babysitter. I don’t trust babysitters anymore, because if a grandmother can be careless enough to let a child perish, who knows what an unrelated person could do.

So my husband told her firmly that she’ll have no access to the baby and he doesn’t want to talk to her either so she should do something useful with her life and leave us alone. My mother-in-law wasn’t having it. That evening, she came to our house, asking to see her grandchild again. We didn’t let her come in, obviously, and she got mad, claiming that as a grandmother, she has rights to meet her grandchild.

We told her that she lost all her rights to our children when she let our daughter drown. If a trust is broken, it cannot be repaired and there are some things that just cannot be forgiven. She escalated it from that point. She told us that she’ll go to court and she’ll demand permission to meet the baby. I’m not sure if there is such a thing but if it’s true, I highly doubt she’ll get it considering her record.

If we need to go to court and prove she’s not the type of grandmother you should let around your child, we’ll do it. If she comes back again, we’ll call the authorities. If we need to leave this country and go live somewhere else just to be away from her, we’ll do it too. Nothing’s impossible. I’m amazed at her lack of shame. She knows very well she tore apart our lives three years ago.

No parent should bury their child, but we had to because of her, and now she comes to us as if she’s the best relative ever, as if nothing ever happened.

AriGritty

94. Caught Red-Handed

My then boyfriend had let me use his iPad to watch a movie on Netflix. He had his messenger account linked to both his tablet and his phone, and messages kept popping up on it while I was watching without him realizing I could see. I got to watch in real time as he got his best friend’s wife to agree to sleep with him over the coming holiday weekend; with the promise that he’d get rid of me for that weekend so they could get intimate in our bed.

hoocares

Notifications factsKristina Dimovska | Factinate

95. My Boss is a Heartbreaker

I had a doctor that constantly ignored patients in serious pain. He thought all of them were faking it to get pain killers. After a senior director at Microsoft died from a heart attack in our ER that he refused to do an EKG on, I went to management and told them what I had seen.

quiet-nurse

96. A Fresh Start

Due to reasons, my mother-in-law had to move in with my husband and I for a while. I’m South Asian, and my husband is white. Indian food is what I was raised eating and I love it to this day. Currently, I suddenly have a lot more time to cook than I did before. I stocked my kitchen with rice, different spices and whatever else I would need to make what I wanted.

My husband doesn’t mind and enjoys the food. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, does not. She’s never liked me. Some stuff she says includes, “What kind of people use their hands to eat? Just use a knife and spoon like normal people.” My husband has stuck up for me on all those occasions before, but having to live with her 24/7 is wearing him down.

After she moved in, she immediately started complaining. “Why does that smell so strong? It’ll cling to the walls. Stop that.” Or, “God, are you really feeding my son that? Just eat normal American food.” At first, I decided to stay quiet. My husband did try to talk to her once, but that fell on deaf ears. Like always. So I woke up yesterday morning and go downstairs.

I chat with my husband and mother-in-law for a while. Go into the kitchen, open my pantry, and there. Is. Nothing. My rice, spices, flour, everything has been cleaned out. I had a rice-dispensing machine that I got a few years back and that was missing too. I go to the fridge, and besides milk, bread, butter, jam, and eggs, there was nothing.

I get my husband and ask him what happened to the food. He looks in confusion until my mother-in-law pipes up and says that she threw everything out. When asked why, she simply says, “My child isn’t used to eating your types of food. Just make him what Americans eat.” That made me so angry. She has this insane thing about not acknowledging that I am American, or when she does she tells people that I got my citizenship through marriage.

Wrong on all accounts. I was born here and so were the last four generations of my family. As a cherry on top, I go grocery shopping and they were out of stock on basically everything that I wanted. I come home and she still has the audacity to ask why I’m not cooking like I usually do. I’m seriously going to destroy this woman by the end of all this.

LegitimateSorbet7

97. Llorar a mares

I had a Spanish teacher, and in order to gain other students’ sympathy, she would make fun of one of the students for the entire class. Of course, other students would sometimes laugh because the class was super boring so it was like a show. However, I HATED the whole thing. She would pick the students that didn’t reply to her provocation, the low-profile type, and she would say “Oh, it’s just a joke!”

One day, she chose the guy that never caused trouble for her next victim. She used him as an example to describe a homeless guy in a picture. After 10 (long) minutes, he stands up and leaves the classroom crying. And when she stops him before he leaves, he turns around the drops the mic. He says his dad passed the previous night and pushed her away.

Once the door closed behind him, she paused for a second, pretending to be crying, and mocked him saying, “My dad just passed cry cry, poor baby” Before I realized it, she had my Spanish book flying in her face, and I called her an “ugly witch.” Yeah, yeah, my insult level isn’t great in Spanish, but it got the job done!

PM_fav

98. Revealing Too Much

On the day of an economics mid-term, all 300 students had to go to a big lecture hall to take the test. Because it was such a big group, the professor had to use a microphone to give us instructions. So after giving this whole speech about the exam, he bid us all good luck and left the lecture to go do some work in his office next door.

Well, he didn’t realize one important thing: He had left his microphone on, so while the entire class was silently writing the exam, we listened to the events that unfolded inside his office. We heard the brief muffled conversation between him and the female TA of our class. Then that conversation stopped. We all realize that they’re being intimate.

The TA’s quieted moans were magnified on the speakers in the lecture hall. The entire class stayed silent. Then, the professor swore loudly and abruptly shut off the microphone. Later, as if nothing had happened, the professor came inside. He was fired a week later.

n00bstar

99. Disappear This Miss, Please

I may or may not have carried a heavily intoxicated girlfriend and a large amount of substances out of my boss’s house (CEO of a very large company) while she was covered in her own filth so his wife wouldn’t catch him as she arrived home from her sister’s house a day early. How did this happen, you ask?

My old boss regularly cheated on his wife with any number of women. Well, he calls me one day, because we are friends away from work, and asks me to come to his apartment ASAP. I drive over there, and he’s blitzed, and this chick is laying naked in her own filth mumbling about something. He says he has to shower and clean up because his wife is ten minutes away so please “Get that out of here.”

I grab the girl and help her to her feet and cover her up with a t-shirt. As I’m walking her out, he yells for me to grab the party bag. The only bag is a Dopp kit. I grab it, jump in my car and drive off. This girl is blasted! She doesn’t know where she lives and is sure she’s having a heart attack. So, I calm her down somewhat and reach in her purse and find her ID.

Luckily, she has her current address on it, and I take her home. I drive back to my house and pull into the driveway and remember the Dopp kit. I open it up and there’s a LOT of illegal substances in there. I got a steak dinner and a few beers later that week from the boss. Needless to say, I no longer work there.

studenthous

100. The All-Seeing Pie

Several years ago I was running pies for the Hut. We had a particularly nice house that I always seemed to get. It was a nice couple with three kids and a big house. They had money and always had large orders and tipped well. One day, I get routed to their address but I notice the order is very different than normal. It’s about double what they order and the name on the order is not the father’s name.

Interesting, so I take the order to their house. The house is literally bumping. Mom and dad’s car is nowhere in sight. I get their oldest daughter, roughly 15, to answer the door. Now mind you, I don’t care at all if the kids are having a good time, but she made an enemy of me that day. She proceeds to complain that I took forever in a condescending tone, make fun of my uniform, and stiff me on a $100+ order.

I didn’t say anything at the time, but I got my revenge. About two weeks later the house orders again. Normal order, normal name. And I magically get their order. When I arrive, her father is at the door and I can’t help myself. I ask him if they had a good time at the party. He’s clearly confused, so I remind him of the great party they had two weeks prior.

He sits and thinks for a minute. Then he hands me a freaking $50 tip and says, “Thank you very much, I’m sure we enjoyed the party a lot.” After he closes the door, all I hear is him yell “Brooooookk get your butt down here right now.” It was a jerk move sure, but nah, be nice to your driver—and tip them.

thriftykwak

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12


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