From phantom poopers to weird eaters, there’s always one kid at school who just seems “off.” You might have had a weird kid at your school, but were they as bizarre as these oddballs? These Redditors came together to share their real-life stories about “that kid” and all the strange stuff they got up to. Their stories are proof that whether they’re simply cringey or straight-up disturbing, they’re always one thing: unforgettable.
1. Wise Words From a Strange Place
There was a girl in grade 5 who created her own language called Shmolbi, and she’d sit in the corner and whisper to herself in it. People also used to tell her there were spiders on her hair and she’d get mad at them and scratch their faces. She purposely grew out the nails on her index, middle, and ring fingers and filed them into sharp claws.
To be fair, telling someone who is clearly not completely all there that they’ve got spiders in their hair is probably not going to end well for you. She ended up leaving the school in grade 6. Aside from that, in grade 3 I microwaved a kid’s winter boots in our lunchroom because I thought they were the reason he ran faster than me. I was just fat. That was why he was faster. So, I was the weird kid too.
2. I’m With Him on the Last Part
The weird kid smelled like he bathed in cat pee every day, and hissed at anyone who ever came near him. He also used to run through the hallways from class to class incessantly—except that wasn’t even the worst part. He then threatened to HURT me in a computer lab because I used Internet Explorer instead of Firefox.
3. Remember to Spay and Neuter Your Pets
She was a furry who tried recruiting people into her newly founded “Furry Religion” where the type of furry you were spiritually was based on your birthday like some freaking astrology thing. She also had a boyfriend who was into the whole furry thing, but in a really weird intimate way. They’d make out on the floor or in the lounge areas and bark/growl at each other.
It just made everything incredibly uncomfortable for everyone around them. Oh, and this happened in my first year of college, which totally adds to the weirdness. Teachers had to make a public announcement banning people from making out and doing all that romantic stuff on campus because of how bad it got. It didn’t make any difference to her.
4. A Sacred Bond Between Smash Brothers
There was a kid in my school who was obsessed with Mario. He had Mario sweatshirts and notebooks, and a Mario backpack. Well, someone figured out that if you told him, “Mario is dead,” he’d flip. Scream and cry “screw you, no he’s not” every single time. He got in trouble multiple times for attacking kids who said anything about Mario dying.
5. Fashion Is Filed Under “Z”
This kid ALWAYS wore a zoot suit. Every day. Not that weird, I guess. But back in high school, weird as heck. Some more details: These were not Salvation Army/hand-me-downs quality. This kid wore nothing but high-quality zoot suits, with a chain and nice shoes to match. Every once in a while, he had a chrome tipped, black cane.
His closet must have been full of these suits. He had bright-colored ones, pinstriped ones, dark blue ones, and pure black ones. Just every kind of zoot suit under the sun. I didn’t see him with the hat very often, though. This was in 2005 or 2006, and I think he won “best dressed” in the yearbook. I don’t have one to confirm, though.
6. You Could Say He Was Yellow-Bellied
Mustard Boy. I’ll never forget him. He would cover his lunch tray in mustard. Chicken nuggets? Mustard. Mexican pizza? Mustard. Breakfast for lunch? Mustard. It didn’t matter what it was, he would drench it in bright yellow mustard. He wasn’t doing it to just to make a mess of his lunch tray, either: he always finished his mustard-food.
6. No Pooters
The conversation turned to flatulence amongst the seventh-grade girls. The new girl, short and squat, and as of yet silent, shook her head and stated, “I ain’t never pooted in my whole life.” It echoes in my head regularly to this day. I also say it whenever I am accused of “pooting” because it is hilarious.
7. At Least He Didn’t Throw It
This kid got hit in the stomach by a dodgeball and pooped himself. Oh, but it gets worse. He then picked the poop up off the ground, and proceeded to put the poop in his pocket “so no one would know.” EVERYONE in the class saw.
8. Signed Vandalism
He made a stencil of his very…unique…self-designed tattoo. Then spray painted said tattoo stencil on the front of the school building, along with some other graffiti for good measure. Then he went to the administration and claimed that someone “saw his tattoo on Facebook, made a stencil from it and was trying to frame him.”
No one bought it. No one is that dumb. He was suspended, two days before his graduation.
9. A Quick Snack
We were sat in English class, and some kid answered a question, so we all turned to look at him as he answered (pretty normal). Kid was rather quickly upstaged by the weird kid next to him pulling a full cooked chicken leg out of his jacket pocket, no wrapping or packaging, and just chowing down on it.
10. Did Not See That Coming
In eighth grade, I was eating lunch across from this very strange kid. I remember him picking up his milk with both hands and squeezing it as hard as he could, then it popped and got all over him and his reaction was a disappointed look on his face followed by, “Oh man!” What did he think would happen?
11. Screw You Guys, I’m Going Home
He got caught taking from the teacher’s assortment of goodies, which she gave away once a week to students. She chose students randomly based on a raffle system where you had more tickets if you behaved. After a huge mess of him crying and trying to say it wasn’t him, he asked to be excused to the bathroom. He was gone for a solid 30 minutes.
The teacher got concerned, and upon checking the bathroom sign-out sheet we discovered he wrote for the sign-in time “never coming back.” One of us went to check the bathroom and he wasn’t there. The teacher tells the principal what happened and the authorities are called in. Helicopters flying by, a couple of cop cars. They eventually found him walking home.
12. Victim Addict
I mean, she did a lot of weird stuff in high school but I think the turning point was when she broke down in class crying because her mum had passed on. The teacher let her out to get some air. A lad had lost his mum to cancer the year before and left the class with her to talk about it. We all felt terrible. We’d been kind of excluding her because she was weird and she smelled, but we had no idea that this was happening—then, her web of lies unraveled.
When we saw her introducing her mum to teachers at parents’ evening we were freaking done. It’s not your typical type of stupid for that age. She seemed to have just forgotten that she’d ever said that.
There was one kid, Brian, and he was 100% convinced that he was a dinosaur. Every recess he would frolic around with his arms up at his chest like a T-Rex, growling at people. He talked normally sometimes too, but every conversation would somehow lead back to dinosaurs…Fun kid.
14. A Silence Says a Thousand Words
There was a kid at my high school who never talked. It wasn’t that he couldn’t speak, or that he only spoke to his close friends; he just wouldn’t speak to anyone. Teachers didn’t call on him because they knew he didn’t talk. When a substitute would come in and try to call on him, there was always some kid who would have to explain, “Ricky doesn’t talk.”
If you asked him a question, he would just look at you. It was weird and some people would take offense to his silence. But eventually, everyone realized that was just his thing and rolled with it. The only time he spoke was when we had to present individually in class. On those days, people would get really excited if they had a class with him, because hearing him talk was like seeing a unicorn.
A lot of people have mentioned this possibly being a case of Selective Mutism. I looked up the diagnosis and it seems like a good match. There were also rumors from kids who rode the bus with him who said that once he got off the bus, he would meet up with his neighborhood friends and (presumably) talk to them. When he did present in class, he didn’t have a weird voice or any strange vocal qualities.
15. Playing by Himself
No joke, he would touch himself in the middle of class. He didn’t actually pull it out, but he would aggressively “rub” the side of his pants and his face would get really red while staring at the girls in the class. Everybody noticed but a word was never spoken about it.
16. Can’t Say He Isn’t a Baller
We had this one kid who was a bit of an oddball, always said the most obscure things in the middle of class, and overall he kind of reminded me of Dwight from The Office. Anyways, we were in gym class playing kickball indoors because it was raining, and he was on me and my friend’s team. Everything was going well so far.
His turn came up, bases loaded, with a pretty close game, and class was about to end. We were all just watching in anticipation as the pitch came. Mid-roll, he turns around and looks directly at us and gives us the most confident smirk I’ve ever seen. Then he turns back around, runs up, and kicks the ball high into the air.
Now, we had a pretty decent-sized gym area, and at the top were all these metal beams for support. A couple of them were giant i-beam-type things. So anyway, he kicks the ball and it goes flying up 40 feet and hits all these beams and somehow lands perfectly on the edge of one of the i-beams that could only have been the length of the ball itself.
The guy ran the bases like it was business as usual, and me and my friends died laughing, convinced that he freaking knew that he would do that. The ball stayed up there the rest of the school year.
17. Just Not Cool
A science teacher in my school was cool if a little weird (not in a creepy type way). His room was always open for the kids to hang out in. He spent a lot of his own time and I suspect money managing an “animal club” which the kids were responsible for looking after. We had hundreds of different animals: hissing cockroaches, snakes, a three-foot iguana, mice, chipmunks, chinchillas, and more.
He also liked to tell cool stories about his own life, such as the pigs that he kept (Rasher and Bacon), his caving experiences, sailing experiences, etc. He would spend his own time helping students that were struggling and give them extra tutoring if warranted. However, he never tolerated laziness or attitudes and would call out students that couldn’t be bothered.
Which is where this kid comes in. This kid made a comic book depicting the science teacher touching the students (male and female) while saying his little catchphrases. It was found and brought to said science teacher’s attention. A meeting happened with the senior management in the school where the brought the kid, the kid’s mom, and the teacher in. I’ll never forget his chilling reaction.
This six-foot massive teacher which a huge ginger beard cried and said he had never experienced anything like it in his life before now. Even the rest of us hated this kid for what happened, and at that age, we were really immature.
18. Sounds Bad
He sprayed Axe deodorant directly into what we thought was a smoke detector. Thinking it wouldn’t cause anything, he was rather smug about how little cares he gave, until an alarm we never heard before went off. Turns out it was some sort of sensor that goes off when oxygen is displaced to dangerous levels by non-oxygen.
Because of the nature of the alarm, even though it was “false,” the school needed to have a company come in and verify that there wasn’t a carbon monoxide situation. Many teachers, and the principal, had no idea such an alarm even existed in our school.
19. Industrial Peanut Butter
This girl Maggie would find someone new to latch onto every month or so. When she found someone she wanted to befriend, she would do crazy, over-the-top stuff in an attempt to impress them. At one point she was obsessed with a girl we’ll call Kat. One day, Kat brought in a baggie of celery and was dipping it in a sauce cup of peanut butter. Maggie WOULDN’T STOP staring and basically watched Kat consume every last piece of celery…
Sure enough, the very next day, Maggie comes into class with, I kid you not, like six bunches of celery stalks, and a family-sized tub of peanut butter. She just eats it ALL day, with the biggest smile on her face, all while staring at Kat from across the room. This is a lighter example of the many off-the-wall things Maggie has done for her transient idol of the month, but the endless bushels of celery is just something I’ll never forget.
20. Whip It Real Good
He was on a hair trigger, and would easily snap and threaten people. Suspended multiple times. Two memorable incidents were when he freaked out at an art teacher. After he got mad, he went to his locker and came back with a bullwhip. He made that thing SNAP and sent everyone running, while the teacher barricaded herself in the supply room. That wasn’t the worst meltdown…
Another time someone made the mistake of teasing him about something and everyone laughed, and he pulled a knife and screamed “Who wants to be the first to die?!” He was expelled and I’m not sure what ever became of him. If I had to guess, though, I don’t think his life turned out all that well once he became an adult…
21. Who Says the Classroom Isn’t the Place for Fantasy?
This kid used to pick his nose until it bled, and then he would just go home because he had a nosebleed. Guess what? He would also eat the boogers. We were all surprisingly chill about that part of his personality—the thing we all hated most about this kid is that he would lie about the most random stuff, in any situation.
For example, he would deny that he got hit when playing dodge ball or caught when playing tag on the playground. One time my neighbor made me a little inukshuk glued to a piece of driftwood, and I brought it to school to show the class. This kid picked it up in front of everyone, immediately dropped and broke it, and then denied that it was him who broke it, even though we had all literally watched him do it.
He cried when we continuously called him out on it. This was also at age 16.
22. What Happens Later?
I went to Catholic school and during mass, this girl sitting next to me didn’t fully get up, but just sort of squatted and started peeing in the pew next to me (girls wore skirts as part of their uniform). She left the school shortly after. Also, had a kid who would get a nice big ball of spit in his mouth then let it drop out of his mouth into his shirt pocket. He said he was “saving it for later.” Catholic school is weird, folks.
23. “That Kid” High
One kid called in an explosive threat because he didn’t want to take an exam in the next period. Another kid ate as many syrup packets as he could without throwing up. Think he ate about 17 before he let out the highest viscosity vomit of all time. Third kid absolutely hated our band teacher, Mr. Whitcomb. After school, he snuck into the band room, and in heavy, red permanent marker he wrote on a white, fabric-wrapped bulletin board, “FAT PUSS WHITCOMB.”
Even with strong cleaning products, that never really came out. Stayed that way for at least a month before they could replace the bulletin board.
24. Howdy, Partners
High school. This guy is always dressed like a cowboy, with hat, boots, jacket, and even a belt with two prop revolvers and boots with spurs which he got in trouble for a few times. One memorable day was when he brought a stuffed horsehead toy with a long stick attached to it and ran around the school hallways with it yelling, “Heehaw,” and twirling an imaginary cowboy whip.
Senior year this dude even founded a cowboy club in our school. A month later, we had four of these cowboys heehawing thru the hallways riding their horsehead sticks.
25. This Hat Stinks
First day of high school (UK—age 11), kid found a pair of badly soiled boxer shorts in an outdoor bin that had clearly been there all summer. I’m talking caked in a 1/4-inch layer of dried poop. Proceeded to put them on his head and start chasing groups of people around the playground…not the best first impression to make when starting a new school.
The poor guy never really pulled himself out of the social rut he dived headfirst into that day.
26. Crime Runs in the Family
His dad started a house fire for an insurance scam and died in the fire. This was around sixth grade….I guess that messed him up a bit. The kid would tap his feet and hands uncontrollably, and he talked about shooting people.
27. You Never Know What’s Behind Closed Doors
Kid I went to school with was a nice kid, but weird. I definitely had some form of special needs, but I never knew what exactly. I’ll never forget the day I watched him walking down the hall with a Twix wrapper across his eyes. Like he was wearing a Cyclops (X-men) visor. I asked him why he would do that. His response was: “Well I can see through it, so I wanted to see through it.”
I felt so bad for this kid. He was bullied badly. The kids at school were awful to him. One day at lunch, I watched a giant jerk walk up to him after just sitting down with his lunch. Grabbed the kid’s backpack and also his Gameboy from the table (which was like the only nice thing the kid owned), threw it straight in the trash, and then dumped the freshly bought lunch right on top of it.
God, that makes me mad just now thinking back on it. On top of the constant bullying he received from the kids, the teachers had a hard time dealing with him (they did try, but it was tough when the kid comes out of left field with things and had zero home support), and worst of all? Everyone knew his mom didn’t give a darn about him.
Wouldn’t take him to doctors’ appointments, wouldn’t get him his meds, wouldn’t do laundry for him or help him with basic hygiene. She ran a salon and told him to sit in the corner and not bother her. He would ask for things like water or a snack, and she would just yell at him in front of clients (which is why everyone knew all this).
One day, he knocks on my door. Tells me he’s moving down south to live with his dad, and he seems really excited. Thanks me for being his friend, and wished me well. Then, a couple of years later, he was visiting the area again, knocks on my door, and says hi, asks how I’m doing, tells me he was thinking about me.
He tells me things were much better, that he was happy living with his dad. If I were a betting man, I’d bet that his dad actually got him proper meds and acted like a half-decent parent to the kid. I hope things are going well for you, Josh. I hope that you got it together, because you always deserved better than pretty much everyone in town gave you.
28. Tall Tales From the East
His go-to excuse for not having homework finished was that he was “traveling” (even though he was at every class), and he never paid attention to anything but his fidget spinner unless he was talking. The way he spoke, he knew everything there was about creative writing, yet his submissions consisted of plots ripped off directly from anime. This was in a college class.
29. I Have the Power of Fame and Anime on My Side
The video where a kid goes “I have the power of god and anime on my side” and screams like a banshee? Well, that kid went to my middle school. He was maybe four grades underneath me, but his weirdness turned him into one of the most popular kids in his grade, and we definitely all knew about him by the time that video went viral.
30. The Tentacles Make the Man
He walked around the halls saying “penis” or alternatively something that rhymed with that, like “smoke mariweenus, smoke mariweenus.” Ate chewed gum off the floor. Called everyone he didn’t like “a squid.” He never got picked on because if anybody pushed him or anything like that, he would scream at the top of his lungs.
31. All’s Well That Smells Bad
I knew this kid who smelled terrible. He’d walk in a room, and this disgusting stench would follow him, like some sort of cloud of garbage-scented air. If you were in class with him, it would permeate the entire room. Somehow, this kid managed to get even more gross. One of the teachers found a toenail in his locker. He had some sort of fungal infection on his feet and one of his nails fell off, which he then proceeded to take and save so he could send it to a family member.
Quite possibly the most disgusting and weird event I’ve ever witnessed.
32. A Most Delicious Misunderstanding
I wasn’t there when it happened (I had changed schools), but I keep in touch with my old friends. The weird kid (also a friend of mine) had gone up to the “popular kids'” table and told them he had a surprise for them tomorrow. So, of course, they think he’s going to shoot up the school, they have a lockdown, evacuate his class, and an officer goes in to talk to him.
Turns out he bought some donuts for the “popular kids” to try and make friends with them.
33. Not a Laughing Matter
We called him the “ha-ha man.” I can’t even remember his real name anymore, but he used to follow my friends and I around the playground, and he was a year or two younger than I was. Once, he started to creep us out and we tried to ignore him, so he started yelling, “if you don’t get back here, I’m going to grab your HA-ha.” I’ll never forget how he would say it, and this went on for over a year.
34. Don’t Play With Fire
This kid regularly put a lighter to his hair in the computer labs to make the teachers think a computer was on fire. I suspect they knew what was happening, but had to take the necessary precautions like call the fire brigade. When the same kid was about 13 or 14, he was bullying some girl. The girl’s older brother, about 18, confronted him about it, and the bully put the guy in the hospital.
35. Get a Kick out of This Story
We had a kid in 6th grade, let’s call him Tim. Tim was constantly getting in trouble for not listening to the teacher. One day, Tim and the teacher got into an argument. The teacher told Tim to step out of the classroom and wait in the hall so they could talk. On his way out, Tim slammed the door extremely hard, with the echo bellowing throughout the entire school.
The teacher then told Tim to go to the office, and he closed the door, only for Tim to start running and kicking the door over and over again. The teacher walked up to the door and locked it for our safety, then grabbed his phone to call the office. We couldn’t see anything Tim was doing in the hall because the door was one of those ones with only a tiny window to see through, so what the teacher said on the phone caught us all off guard.
“Hello, yeah, one of my students was misbehaving so I sent him to the office, and he began kicking door. Now he is currently pacing around in circles outside the door with his belt in one hand and…a boomerang in the other.”
36. Mr. Horseman
Wore a horse costume to school. Like full-on fur suit. Then he trotted around the halls and neighed all day. He was…odd. This was in high school, and he was well known in the school for having behavioral issues. He had no boundaries and didn’t understand social interaction. A lot of kids were cruel to him, other kids left him alone, others tried to be his friend and then ran for the hills when he overwhelmed them with invasive questions and excessive clinging.
The teachers took a “live and let live” attitude. The actual costume itself wasn’t technically against dress code, only the horse head. I wasn’t in any of his classes so I’m not sure if his teachers made him take the mask off. I just remember seeing him in the hallways with it on and thinking, “There’s no way that isn’t Blaise.” And it was.
37. The King Has Arrived
In my first year of university, there was a kid who wore a dinosaur head covering/hat that had a cape attached to it and would walk around campus just staring at people. My friend asked him one day what his name was and he replied with, “King Reptar.” Weird kid, haven’t seen him since. Also, one day during frosh week there was a movie being played on my university’s equivalent of the quad. He showed up and would squat by people while just looking at them.
There was also a kid who would ride a unicycle around campus.
38. Watch Your Back
There was a girl I went to school with from elementary through high school. I never really talked to her as she was extremely emotional, and any time I’d watch someone interact with her she’d either break down or scream. I was always nice in passing and would wave then put my head down. I managed to go years without getting stuck with her in one of my classes.
Freaking YEARS by pure luck not getting stuck in a class with her. Until my senior year—and it was worse than I’d ever imagined. Now mind you, her sophomore year she went missing and a huge search was put out trying to locate her. We all knew she was fine and about a week later she was found outside of a grocery store begging for money with her much older boyfriend.
She’d also spent years wearing a tail and ears to school because that’s just “who I am on the inside.” Overall… weird behavior that I can now attribute to neglect at home (didn’t find that out until after HS). So senior year rolls around and I don’t only have a class with her…I’m sitting right next to her in history. Well dang.
First day and she’s already set a standard for how bad this semester is about to be. “Oh, my boyfriend bought me a laptop but I hide it from my mom.” “I’ve done it with over 30 guys. All older too!” Stuff like that. Well, one day the teacher pulls me aside because he’s noticed she doesn’t overreact around me. The convo went like this:
Teacher: “Do you know X really well?” Me: “No, no I don’t actually.” Teacher: “Okay but you know she’s…got some mental stuff going on, right?” Me: “Uh yeah I mean I guess.” Teacher: “She threatened to stab another student yesterday after class so if you could just sit with her next semester as well, I’d appreciate it.” Me: ……
It did get reported to staff, but apparently her mom caused a big scene at the office and everyone decided to drop it since the kid being threatened was the only witness. She was freaking insane, but at least there was a silver lining: The teacher passed me with an A just for grading papers and listening/babysitting her from then on out. I know absolutely nothing about WWII now but far, far too much about that girl’s life.
39. The Collector
In high school, we had a computer class that was in a brand-new computer lab. So new that they hadn’t had time to set up all of the “keep kids from doing stupid stuff” settings and software. Now, this was one of the classes where each computer station was a module for some different software. We all moved around the class quite a bit.
One kid figured out he had free reign of the internet and started downloading a metric ton of smut, but he only did it on one module. Maybe because he thought it would mask who it was, maybe just to keep it all consolidated, idk. But the teacher figures out that someone had been downloading smut on this one computer, so she does the logical thing and talks to some of the better students in the class.
Ends up giving them extra credit if they can set up a webcam behind the module to catch whoever is doing it. In the end, they catch the kid red-handed with over 10 gigs of smut and a stack of DVDs he was burning it onto.
40. Pulling a Tyson
He once went into a berserker nerd rage in grade three or four. It was absolutely disturbing. He jumped on another unpopular kid and tried to rip the guy’s ear off. A ton of other kids tried to stop him but he just batted them all away. He eventually dug his teeth into the kid’s back and bit off a chunk of skin. It was pretty messed up. For anyone wondering, this was somewhere in Canada.
I don’t think he got suspended or anything (I honestly can’t remember) but he eventually became friends with the kid he attacked.
41. One Day You’ll See (or Not)
There was this guy everyone called Big Andy. He was kind of nuts. I mean like, the most caustic neckbeardy guy you’ve ever met in your life. I was kind of one of a few people who figured he was mostly harmless, but dude was that militant nerd variety that made it kind of hard to defend him. Threatened to bash people’s faces in, blow stuff up…I mean he had some serious issues.
The reason people picked on him was that he was about 300+ lbs, in high school, constantly wore anime t-shirts that were about 2 sizes too small, jean shorts, and carried a box of doughnuts around. No seriously, a box. He also had a really high-pitched squeaky voice. I mean, all of that, and people are real jerks.
He had it in his head he’d go become a computer programmer, start a video game company, and land a helicopter on the roof of the school during our reunion (His words). I always wondered what happened to him. I don’t know of him ever having any friends, and he dropped off the face of the planet after we graduated. Looked him up a few months ago on Facebook and just couldn’t find him. So, no clue whatever happened to the guy.
42. One Banana Short of a Full Fruit Packet
One kid in my freshman speech class was extremely socially awkward, so this was already just a perfect setting for disaster. We had to give a one-minute speech the second day of class off the top of our head about some of the things we liked and present an item or two that symbolized your passions and interests.
He goes up there, pulls out a pack of juicy fruit and just holds it up, pauses for a second, then said, “This is Juicy Fruit, my favorite gum. If you don’t like Juicy Fruit, then you can screw off.” Then went back and sat down. Everyone paused for a second, looked around, and just burst out laughing. It wasn’t for a grade or anything, so I’m pretty sure the teacher just didn’t care because it was so funny.
43. Should Have Got Him While He Was Cheap
He wouldn’t stop asking us to join his “Investment Club” or become a writer for his Investment website. Well four years later, that website got bought out for 2 million. Fast forward to today, he’s got his own firm and parties with models like every weekend.
44. It Didn’t Have His Back
There was this weird kid named Gavin who sat in the front row of my nutrition class. One day, he was not in class (he never missed class). So, as the teacher is doing attendance, she asks “Where’s Gavin?” Just as she says this, everyone looks outside to see Gavin throw his backpack down a couple of flights of stairs, jump down the stairs, and begin beating his backpack with a baseball bat.
The teacher silently walked over and closed the blinds as the entire class burst out in laughter. Had to be one of the most hilarious moments in my high school experience.
45. Not Every Move Can Be Magic
He was a wizard. One day after watching him for weeks, a couple of us just had to talk to him about it. So, we approached him and another young man who had what looked like a girlfriend there and started with “So um, heard that you were a wizard?” He nodded his head with a serious face. Of course, we asked how this happened, and he informed us that he was just born that way.
So, we asked if he could show us something, and he told us we weren’t ready. One of us, being an anarchy-loving individual, told him that his friend standing over by the wall was talking smack about him, and had said his staff was better than his. He chuckled and said he didn’t even have a staff. My friend followed with a, “Well, he said you were a wuss.”
At that time, he looked over his shoulder, looked back at us, then walked over to the dude, put out his hands and looked like he was straining and started yelling. The dude standing at the wall collapsed, and we all kinda lost it. He came back over to us and smirked. This guy lay there for a good half hour or so until the girl convinced him to resurrect her boyfriend.
He went over to the dude laying in the grass and stood over him with his hands out, and the dude got back up. After that, one of our goofy friends begged him to teach him the ways and make him a wizard.
46. Can’t Gape at This Ape
This weird kid at my school (great guy, really good friend and fun to be around) rode a unicycle every day to school. For the “Talent Show” that the school hosted on the last day before winter break, he wore a bodysuit and a Gorilla mask and did this dance. The best part is he had really bad social anxiety and he was a mess the entire day leading up to that point.
47. King You Will Be…Eventually
Guy who claimed to be a genius in math and science said he would one day rule on a floating continent. He had pages worth of random equations and formulas that somehow gave him the answer to creating a floating continent. He would walk around school with a clipboard asking people if they wanted to participate in the gladiator tournament he would hold once he had his floating continent.
I signed up for this gladiator tournament. I’m still waiting for the phone call.
48. Don’t Tell Me!
One day in fifth grade, a kid’s mom brought cupcakes and ice cream for the class. We went outside for recess to eat them. The overweight kid, who I always tried to be nice to because I’m pretty sure she had bad parents, ate too many of these cupcakes and threw up on the playground. But she proceeded to tell everyone she was fine and was all right to go play some more.
Not even five minutes later, I’m standing by the door to the entrance of the school and I smell the most horrible smell. I look over and, of course, It’s the same kid standing next to me. She got real close and whispered to me, “I just pooped my pants.” She told everyone who walked by until the teacher called her mom to pick her up.
Weirdest moment of my life because I’m not sure why she would tell everyone that.
49. Strike, Scream, Run
The one that always comes to mind is this kid, Glenn. I wanna say it was bio class in sophomore year. He was doodling or something and the teacher called on him to answer a question. He sputtered out something incorrect and the teacher walked over to his desk and said he needed to pay attention and stop drawing.
She turned around to go back to the front of the classroom and he stood up and chucked his pencil across the room, made a weird caveman/Tusken Raider shrieking noise, and swung his fist at her. Kid was easily 6’2″ tall and 240lbs, she was 5’1″ tall and 100lbs or so. He hit her square in the back and she went down. He made this shrieking noise again and bolted from the room in an awkward Naruto-run.
Fortunately, the teacher was only a little shaken; she brushed herself off and said, “Man, he’s having a really bad day.” Another kid picked up the pencil he threw and written on it was “Glenn Lastname – insanity: it’s what I do.” Good ol’ Glenn got suspended for most of the semester.
50. And He Was Never Seen Again
His name was Joe. One day I was in class and saw him being marched down the corridor to the pastoral leader’s office. The pastoral leader looked absolutely shocked at what she had seen, but the best was yet to come. Thirty minutes earlier, Joe had gone to the toilet and while he was there he had pooped into his hands and placed his deposit inside the hand dryer.
The next person to use it had poop splatted all over their hands. This wasn’t even the worst part. Somehow it was figured out that Joe had done this and he was swiftly taken out of his class by the pastoral leader—who happened to be American—and taken to her office. Now it’s important to note here that pastoral leaders’ computers aren’t subject to the same internet restrictions as the rest of the school.
The pastoral leader left her office for whatever reason, leaving Joe alone in the office. When she came back we heard this massive, “OH MY GOD” in her American accent. While she had been out of the room Joe had used her computer to get onto adult sites and started touching himself. I wasn’t one of the kids who actually saw it, but others responded to the shriek.
I never saw Joe again after the end of that week.
51. Save It for Your Diary
Not exactly the “weird” kid, but definitely the kid not many people wanted to interact with. He was very pushy, generally awkward. Also often tried being all cool by using big words but failing miserably. But the thing that took the cake was when some girl sent the entire grade something along the lines of “say your name X times, say your parents’ names X times, and then say your crush name X and in a few days your crush will be with you!”
He actually responded to the email. It was an awkward year until his crush left.
52. Liar, Liar, Pants Arrested
We had one guy who was always talking big smack, faking injuries (bent my ankle so I can’t practice/liver is burning, etc.), always drew pentagrams on stuff, took Japanese so he could get a “waifu,” just all-around a freaking creep with girls, too. Well, he got arrested here last month for deviant behaviors. I wasn’t surprised.
53. Hidden Valley or Newman’s Own?
This kid used to drink cups of ranch dressing at lunch…and nothing else. He would have 15-20 of those little ketchup cups loaded on his tray and he’d start slurping it down. Pretty sure he had some kind of mental disability so I don’t want to rag on him too hard, but just watching him do that every day turned me off of ranch for a few years.
54. A Little Embellishment
New kid had a scar on his shoulder. Told us he was shot…big long story involving selling illegal substances and all kinds of stuff. Soon after, we found out it was actually from having a mole removed.
55. Wholesome Time
He gave me a present at Christmas, and I will never forget it. He was a big slow kid named Raymond. He was weird, smelled kind of funny, and had a gruff voice. Did a lot of weird things in class. He had a really hard time making friends I think, for obvious reasons. This was sixth grade, and there was a lot of snickering.
I don’t think his family had much money. I thought he was kind though, and I tried to be nice to him as I didn’t have many friends either. One day out of the blue he asks me if I like cars. I told him I did. A few days later he gives me a wad of wrapping paper and tape and tells me merry Christmas. What lay inside almost brought me to tears.
It was just two matchbox cars. They were not new cars, or even in the box. I could tell they were once his own toys. There was a little note that said, “Hope you like these! Your friend, Ray.” It was really very touching and such a nice gesture. I wish I had thought to bring something for him. I had probably only spoken to him a handful of times ever, but apparently that was more than anyone else cared to.
I think those beat-up little toy cars were the best gift anyone has ever given me.
56. Soup or Soup?
This guy would just combine all of his food at lunch, including the drink, into a weird soup and eat it like that, no matter what we were eating.
57. Baller Dreams
There was this guy everyone called Big Andy. He was kind of nuts. I mean, like, the most caustic neck beardy guy you’ve ever met in your life. I was one of a few people who figured he was mostly harmless, but dude was that militant nerd variety that made it kind of hard to defend him. Threatened to bash people’s faces in, blow stuff up…I mean he had some serious issues.
The reason people picked on him was that he was about 300+ lbs. in high school, constantly wore anime t-shirts that were about two sizes too small with jean shorts, and carried a box of doughnuts around. No, seriously, a box. He also had a really high-pitched squeaky voice. I mean, all of that, and people are jerks.
He had it in his head he’d go become a computer programmer, start a video game company, and land a helicopter on the roof of the school during our reunion (his words). I always wondered what happened to him. I don’t know of him ever having any friends, and he dropped off the face of the planet after we graduated. Looked him up a few months ago on Facebook and just couldn’t find him. So, no clue whatever happened to the guy.
58. The School Dementors Strike Again
Man, so this kid was a strange one. Maybe something was up with him, but I don’t know. He really liked Slipknot, anyway. One day he swore he was a Wiccan. We used to have Smash Bros. tournaments and invite kids over to play at a friend’s, and he showed up saying he was able to change his eye color. He closed his eyes to concentrate and he opened them saying they changed. They didn’t. He said they became a lighter shade.
He tried to show me how to create fireballs and had this book of different wolf pictures and tried to determine what my wolf form was. He wasn’t a bad kid just weird so we dealt with it…until the incident. He was really into the Wiccan stuff, so two of my friends decided to screw with him. I guess you can say they were metalheads and they had that look.
Anyway, they told me they went up to him one day and revealed themselves as demons. One of them, let’s call him Vince, said he reached out to him from down the hallway, and said, “Your soul is mine!” and made gestures like he pulled his soul out of his body and buried into in the floor. So, the kid freaks out and begs for his soul back and my friends leave thinking the dumb prank was over—they were so wrong.
Later that day, I get a knock on my door and it’s the kid. He has a pair of those sharp metal scissors in his hands and he looks frantic. He is aggressive and tells me that he needs to find Vince. He needs to end Vince’s life to get his soul back. I’m pretty shocked, so I tell him that I don’t know where Vince is and the kid is reluctant to believe me because he has seen me with them. He asked me if I knew they were demons and I tell him I didn’t know.
Anyway, I pretty much shut the door on him and he leaves, freaking out. Supposedly, he was running around trying to find Vince to end his life and retrieve his soul. But this kid was pretty big, so someone saw him running around in the streets with scissors. We don’t know what happened to him. Obviously, as an adult looking back, it was a messed up situation for the kid. No one expected such an episode back then.
I do hope he is doing all right now. However, it was still weird as heck.
59. Shots Fired!
Sneezed and pulled out a large red snot. Everyone watched as it seemed to never end. His arm stretched out until it was no longer bent, and the snot was still running from his nose to his hand. It then proceeded to fling out of his nose and across the classroom onto a desk. One kid threw up.
60. He Has His Own Back
He ended up being the valedictorian for my graduating class, but his refusal to use a locker and carry all of his textbooks in his backpack led to severe back issues, resulting in him wearing a backplate throughout high school. It was honestly so preventable and tragic. I believe he also has Asperger’s, so he wasn’t social either.
61. No Stopping This Locomotive
I was in year 10 when he came up from primary school. I don’t know what was wrong with him, but he’d always pretend to be a train and chug along through the quad. People would chuckle as he went past, but he didn’t care. Him and his other weird mate would just scoot on by minding their own business, and mostly no one bothered them.
When I was in Year 11, though, one of the kids blocked his tracks and started bullying the heck out of him. A group of us shoved the bully out of the way and berated him for it, all while encouraging train boy to go on his way. Ours wasn’t the best school in the district but God dang, at least the trains ran on time that day.
62. At Least the Critter Believes You
One weird kid walked around in high school with a stuffed possum and made it talk in class. Also went on a rant during a class debate about how much she hated Australia because a classmate from there had rejected her. This had absolutely nothing to do with the debate topic and none of us knew what she was talking about.
Another girl claimed she was the CEO of her dad’s company and made 1 million a year at 16. Also said she was the granddaughter of the king of Norway. She’s not from Norway. She also tried to claim that her friend was killed during the 2011 Oslo terrorist attack. Again, not from Norway or Europe for that matter. Somehow, I got classified as “weird” but I’m really not sure why when I think about how many other weird kids went to my school.
63. To Serve and Make Uncomfortable
Dude had an unhealthy obsession with the Marines, but not the usual sort of small-town redneck thing where it’s all about ‘Murica and whoever is killing the bad guys deserves respect, but a sort of hero-worship. He had a whole running fantasy about this team of Marines that he was the leader of and a bunch of us that were his “circle” were also characters in this.
That by itself would be one thing, but he treated it as if he expected us to play along in this fantasy game he’d created (not that he believed it, just wanted us to play along). He would come to lunch and tell us about our pay grades, the missions we went on, etc., and he created Lego sets of this fantasy and took pictures and tagged us on Facebook.
As I think back on it, I don’t think he had a father figure in his life and he didn’t live in a particularly great part of the town, so hero-worshiping the pageantry and all of the Marines is among the better outcomes. And so, while on one hand he shouldn’t have tried to rope us in so hard when we were clearly uncomfortable, our reaction should never have been to be openly hostile to him like we were.
To my knowledge, dude became a Marine. Hope he’s doing well.
64. The Door Is There for a Reason
He once pooped at school, which is weird enough…but he had the cubicle door open, wiped his butt, and then held the tissue up to his face and smelled it. True story. My friend and I saw it by accident when we turned around the corner from the urinals after we went to the washroom. I’ll never forget it in my entire life.
65. Playing Hard to Get or Hard to Like?
Imagine the stereotypical kid being bullied in every American high school film ever and how they act all dejected and like everyone’s out to get them…except the guy wasn’t bullied and everyone tried to make an effort to talk to him when we were near him. I’m not exactly much of a social person myself, but I heard the guy mumble one word in the whole three years I went to school with him.
Any attempt to speak to him would be met by his best attempt at some kind of death stare to try and actively discourage conversation. I also once saw him outside the university accommodations that a friend was staying at and said hi to him as he walked past. He stopped, looked at me, frowned, looked back down, and carried on.
I had to explain to my friend afterward how that was normal for him. You can’t help but feel bad for the guy, but he did purposely dig his own social grave. I honestly hope he finds some people he can truly have as friends.
66. The Good Pesticides
Back in high school, I was casually acquainted with a guy who was a self-proclaimed “burnout” despite having never partaken of anything stronger than an Advil. He used to make a big deal about how high, drunk, or generally “messed up” he’d get on a daily basis, usually in between bouts of scrawling, “420 4 lyfe” on his school supplies.
One day, as a prank, one of my other friends gave the kid in question a bag of “grass.” After first looking genuinely shocked and then unbelievably (in the literal sense) excited, the would-be pothead disappeared with his “pot” for about five minutes…and when he came back, he was speaking in a high falsetto and acting like the world had suddenly transformed into a pinball machine.
“Oh, man!” he shrieked, flopping down on a bench. “That stuff got me so messed up, you guys!” “Yeah, I’m sure it did,” someone replied. “I’m so messed up, you don’t even know!” This continued for another five minutes or so, by which point we’d all gotten sick of his antics. “Dude,” said the guy who had originally offered the bag full of plant matter, “I only gave you grass.”
“Yeah, I know! It got me so messed up!” “No, I mean it was grass. Lawn clippings.” The alleged stoner’s eyes suddenly went wide as the truth of his situation dawned on him…but rather than confess to the act and keep some of his pride intact, he decided to double down on the situation: “Well, I don’t know what kind of weird pesticide is on your lawn, man, but that stuff got me so messed up! You don’t even know!”
Still another handful of minutes passed, during which time the kid “came down” from his “high.” It was the sort of scenario for which he should have received a lot of teasing…but I think everyone was afraid that he’d start doing that squeaky voice again.
67. Not Much of a Singer
I went to a little Swedish primary school. At about age 9-10(?) a Danish kid joined our class for one year. This guy has a lot of stories centered around him, but the one I remember in particular was during music class. Yeah, for some reason we had a music class where we just stood as a “choir” and sang random songs the teacher played on the piano.
For some reason, the Dane was really mad this particular day. He did not want to sing at all. He was fist-fighting the teachers, literally throwing chairs at them, and screaming (what I imagine to be) the most vulgar Danish curse words. Meanwhile, me and the rest of my class are singing some cute child’s song. I always imagine us being in a movie with the Dane in the main role.
He is fighting in super slow-mo and all you can hear is the choir of kids kindly singing sad songs. There was also the Chinese guy who peed on the floor in gym class because he was too scared to ask if he could go to the bathroom, but the Dane was the most memorable guy.
Friend of my brother’s (a year younger) in 10th grade if I remember right…I wasn’t there but I saw the aftermath—and I’ll never forget it. He was horsing around with a few other people in class, chasing each other and whatnot. There was a door that had one of those old-fashioned bolt-on slide locks with a round bolt that you lifted and slid into a round hole on the other side.
This door was wide open at the time…anyway, while running away from his friends he ran past this door. His picky finger slid perfectly into the lock where the bolt would normally fit, all the way to his knuckle, and literally just ripped it right off his hand at the joint. He didn’t make a sound himself when it happened (he did right after though of course), but my brother said the finger made a sound like a pencil being snapped in half.
They reattached it, and it still mostly worked after, but it always looked pretty wonky, all sad and crooked…Weirdest freak accident I ever heard of.
69. Most Likely to Be a True Crime
He would talk to himself and sit in the hallways reciting as many digits of pi as he could. He was a small, harmless kid who everyone treated well because he was endearingly weird, if that makes sense—but then we learned the dark truth. He actually kidnapped a girl after graduation. We were all so wrong about him.
70. Animal I Was
He was caught eating berries off of a tree branch in a compost trash can in fifth grade. He’d act feral around everyone else, but if you got to know the kid, he was actually pretty down to earth and cool. In middle school around sixth grade, I tried getting to know him better and found out he might have had some kind of multiple personality disorder.
He was grateful for someone who didn’t judge him that much (I’d try my best to not get him to do stupid stuff). He was later expelled for what everyone said was “biting a teacher.” I saw him once during high school and he 1) got really freaking hot and 2) seemed way chilled out. When I asked about why he left, he said he wasn’t allowed to talk about it but was getting help, so that’s always good.
71. Friends Who Never Were
In hindsight, she wasn’t so weird. She just marched to the beat of her own drum. She was very overweight and had a lot of health issues, including more than one skin condition, so people saw her as gross, and they avoided her. I can remember all the way back in first or second grade when we did dancing in gym class, and no one wanted to be her partner because her hands were covered in scaly rashes.
But she was smart, she had an odd sense of humor, and despite how everyone treated her, she was confident in herself and never hid any part of her personality. She was always the first to speak up in class and she challenged other people’s opinions so readily. But at the same time, she was constantly falling asleep in class, and she snored so loudly.
I remember she sat behind me during our AP exam for American History, and for the life of me I could not focus on my test because she was breathing so loudly. She was incessantly bullied, to the point of being pity-voted onto prom court. She had one real friend. And then a year after we graduated, she died completely unexpectedly.
I remember waking up to go to work one morning and my best friend had texted me that she had passed away, and I was absolutely shocked. Apparently, she had been out to dinner with her aunt, and on her way back to the table from the bathroom, she collapsed, and they couldn’t resuscitate her. They did an autopsy and couldn’t confirm a cause of death.
Her mother also passed on about a week after she did, and they had a joint funeral. Probably the saddest funeral I’ve been to. The worst part was that I lived in a really small town, so it’s all anyone was talking about for weeks. Her biggest bullies were some of the loudest voices. Some people from my graduating class held a memorial service for her where they sent off paper lanterns, but I couldn’t get myself to go because it was full of all the people who made high school miserable for her.
I couldn’t bear to listen to them talk about how great she was, how beautiful she was, when they never held those sentiments when she was alive.
72. It’s Physics, Not Anatomy
I had one girl in my year who had a weird obsession with our Physics teacher. Once in a lesson where we were learning about spinning forces, she asked if she could show a cool video to the class, and he said yes. The video was of her spinning on a pole in her underwear. Yep, she showed the entire class a video of her pole dancing.
When he sent her out, she was yelling the whole way, “WHY, ARE YOU SAYING THAT POLE DANCING IS SEXUAL? CAUSE THAT’S SEXIST.” She wore butt-skimming skirts with fishnet tights and corsets on non-uniform day as well. Always got sent straight home. They ended up expelling her when we were about 17. Don’t know what happened to her after that…
73. Making Amends
A girl at my high school constantly whined and complained because her parents refused to move out of the master suite of their mansion. She felt that she deserved it, because the attached walk-in closet and bathroom were bigger than hers. To reconcile this, she had her parents pay to redecorate her room every single year.
74. A Balanced Meal
There was this kid who liked to eat paper. So one day in the new term, he asked the new Asian boy for some paper. The Asian boy, in a full Asian accent, ripped out three pages from his notebook and said, “Here is breakfast, lunch, and dinner!”
75. Pineapple Check
Scrawny mean kid who hung out with the jocks did stupid thing after stupid thing that made everyone (students + teachers) hate him. He just had his little posse of like four people who I think were just being polite to him, and they’d hang out next to the school entrance all day. One day, we had one of those “touring high school acts” visit our school.
It was this group of four guys who did funny acapella covers of pop songs. It was honestly awesome. He’s sitting in the back of the gym and whips a pineapple at them and tries to hide. Everyone turns and looks at him—the band starts acapella singing again and just staring at him. Even the other meaner kids were like, “Wow you’re a DICK.”
I don’t remember the school ever having any touring groups visit again for the time I was there :(( It was a fun way to skip a morning class, and that jerk had to go and ruin it by throwing a freaking pineapple.
76. Getting it All Out
I remember being on the swings in primary school and there was another kid who was upset that all the swings were taken, so he tried to forcibly remove another kid. The teachers told him not to bother other kids and so he stood NEXT TO the swings, crying loudly, waiting for someone to get off. When I looked at him, he was crying so much his nose was running, but it looked like someone squeezing out a tube of toothpaste.
It was the grossest thing I’ve ever seen.
77. Cool to Fool
There was a kid named Shane I went to middle school with; this was in the early 00s when white rappers like Eminem were really big. He started going by “2Shanez” as his “rapper name” to sound cool. There was a fire drill/evacuation one day where we all had to go sit on the track and wait for the fire department to clear the building (…I don’t think it was a drill after all, looking back on it).
The track was furthest from the school, with a field for soccer and another field for field hockey in between. The track area was fenced off by a chain-link fence about four feet high, and it wasn’t a very long stretch at all. It wasn’t blocking anything, just more of a divider.
Anyways, everyone is making their way towards the track and walking through the “doorway” gap in the fence, while 2Shanez decided he would be cool, pull a stunt, and hop the fence. It ended badly, to put it lightly. He didn’t jump high enough, caught his junk, ripped his sack open. In front of the entire school. He was wheeled off by the school nurse in a wheelchair with a blanket covering his crotch.
2Shanez met his 2chainz that day.
78. Look Out, Truffle Shuffle
There were many weird kids across my school life, but this came to mind first. There was this one weird kid in my primary school who, on his last day, insisted on doing what he called the “chicken dance” (not the actual chicken dance at all) in front of the whole class. This act involved him derping around in a circle at tremendous speed all the while flipping his shirt up and down over his head, exposing his gross, blindingly white little boy chest, to a dramatic composition containing crashing wave sound effects.
79. The Spark is Mightier Than the Pen
It came to the staff’s attention that someone was selling fireworks to the pupils (secondary school so these kids were 12-18 years old) after some genius let one off in the playground. Naturally this was a tad concerning. We’d finally got a lead on a kid who we thought was doing it. So, we pulled the kid into the Pastoral Care base, where the form tutors basically live.
Since we had basically nothing to go on but rumors that it was this kid, we just plainly said, “We know what you’ve been doing.” This kid just erupts into tears. Like we’re talking hysterical sobbing, you would have thought he was being put to death. Through his sobs, he’s saying, “Sorry, it was me.” So, he chucks his bag onto the desk and unzips it.
Out rolls at least 30 clicker pens of varying colours, sizes and brands. So naturally, we all just stare at each other, confused as all hell. Apparently, this kid was buying pens from a local supermarket and selling them on at a marked-up price to the kids who always forgot their pens. Pretty smart if you ask me.
We never caught the kid who was selling the fireworks but funnily enough once people started getting pulled into offices, all the fireworks magically disappeared.
80. Post-Secondary Disappearance
A little over 10 years ago, the weird kid from my school went missing, they’ve never found him. Apparently, he was at a party just before graduation, got into a fight with his girlfriend, and left to walk home. They’ve extensively checked all the nearby woods, dredged the rivers and lakes, it even caught the attention of some TV “psychic.” They found his car, abandoned, but no other sign of him.
The creepiest part is how everyone in my hometown still talks about it; My psych teacher in high school used his disappearance as an example when we discussed dissociative fugue states; the town is still plastered in MISSING signs; every year they go out and search again. I always wonder if it was suicide, an accident, foul play, or if he just took off across the country.
81. Growing Up Too Fast
A bottle of passionfruit lube brought in by a four-year-old, making all her friends smell her “fruity hand cream.” Poor mama must have had a long night and mixed up her eczema cream. Also, not a confiscation, but when my four/five-year-olds were getting changed for PE, a little girl opened her bag and out fell a bunch of very sexy lingerie. 10 minutes later at the window, I have a very red Mum with the correct kit in hand saying she mixed up the dry cleaning with the daughters PE kit. I pretended I hadn’t seen.
82. A Little Crunch
Clearly not as traumatizing as everyone else’s, but I will always remember the scab eater. This girl would get various cuts and scrapes on the playground pretty much every day and be carted off to get cleaned up and bandaged. When the scrapes hardened into scabs, she would always sit in the back corner of the playground picking the scabs off her skin and eating them.
Usually, these were on her elbows or knees. If the cut would start bleeding again, she would patiently wait for another scab to form before she went back at it. I’ve never seen someone so utterly pleased with themselves as the girl casually dining upon scabs while all the other kids were playing on the playground.
83. It’s Completely Natural to Smell Curious
Camp counselor here. We have permission to go through bags to confiscate prohibited items like food and electronics and knives. One girl had a Tupperware full of what looked like the oldest peanut butter imaginable smeared all over it. I brought it to my coworkers, and we all tried to smell it, but it smelled different to all of us.
Literally no clue what this stuff was. Asked the girl about it one day and she goes “ummm thats my plant” like it’s obvious. Apparently, it was some kind of fungus or algae to apply to sunburns. It’s in the woods. They can’t keep food on them because of bears and other wildlife. We aren’t starving them, I promise.
Well, I am not that ashamed to admit it, but I AM the weird kid. The thing that I did was part of a joke between me and my friends. You would “Simba” each other. How? You slather ketchup on each other’s foreheads while trying to not be slathered. One day, one of my friends wasn’t quite alert, so I thought that I’d be a friend and help wake him up. Needed items: Napkin. Ketchup. A sick sense of humor. A clear throat. My devious plan came together.
So, I went to the ketchup pump and put as much as I could in the napkin. I then sneaked up on him and slapped him in the forehead with ketchup. Needless to say, if that didn’t wake him up, then me singing at the top of my lungs in the cafeteria the opening song from The Lion King sure did the trick. Everyone was staring, he got embarrassed, and he scraped ketchup on to his hand to retaliate.
He starts chasing me around, yelling with bad intent, while I’m still singing. I was SO glad I only got an in-school suspension for that.
85. Excuse Me for Doing My Homework
A student came running to me during a break once and wanted to drag me to a class to show me something. I went along and once there, he directed me to a student’s desk. There was an open notebook lying on the desk, detailing my full name, birth date, address, license plate, and other insane stuff. We immediately took her to the office after she returned, police were called; they confiscated her phone.
She had an entire album titled “teachers” or “professors” (don’t remember), and quite literally every single teacher she had had was in there. I was in four pictures, some of which she took secretly in class. The others were really old pics from my old Facebook. Was a bit creeped out, to be honest.
86. She Looks Tasty
High school drawing class, two kids: Girl A (had known her for a while, fairly normal kid) and Girl B (had never spoken to her before). I was having a chat with girl A during class when girl B approaches. “Girl A, are you busy?” “Yeah, I’m talking.” “Oh, but can you just…” “No.” “Pleeeaasseee?” “I said no, come back when I’m not talking.”
Girl A and I go back to our conversation, the same convo between Girl A and Girl B happens once more. Finally, Girl A and I stop talking. “Are you free now?” Girl A sighs the sigh of a lost cause. Her eyes look dead. She tilts her head, “Go ahead, Girl B.” Girl B viciously bites her neck. In a full classroom, teacher present. No one moves, Girl A doesn’t make a sound, but Girl B loudly, sloppily bites at her neck.
I still talk to Girl A but haven’t brought up that time since.
87. Can’t Contain This Kind of Trauma
Not my story, but my psychology teacher used to work with underprivileged kids. He says he was told when he started to never look up the kids he worked with, because very few times would he find a happy ending. One student, maybe 6-8 years old, really enjoyed his class and gave him a jar as a gift. What’s in the jar? Jelly? Jam? No.
The teacher noticed cuts all over the boy’s arms and slowly puts the jar down. It was full of old/new blood. Completely filled. He figures that the kid saw it as a part of him and probably saw it as something very symbolic and meaningful. The teacher’s a great person; I imagine he just got a counselor and had an ambulance check the kid out and dispose of the jar.
The kid’s mother was also a drug addict.
88. Just a Little Napalm
“That kid” got a hold of the Anarchist Cookbook and made some napalm. We didn’t believe him, so the following day he brought in the entire jar of napalm. Took a small piece and put it on a pillar near the library at lunchtime and lit it on fire. That was the last I ever saw of him. I heard another kid he was bragging to told a teacher or principal about his jar and he was immediately expelled.
He was a nice kid, just maybe not the best at making good decisions.
89. Ink Should be Consensual
I remember when I was in middle school, a fellow eighth grader’s dad was a tattoo artist. Somehow, this kid had managed to bring his dad’s tattoo equipment to school. It was confiscated when he tried to tattoo another kid while his friends held the kid down. Petty sure it was going to be a forced tattoo, but a teacher was walking by and heard the screams and stopped it.
90. Hanging Up the Tiara
I’m pretty sure I was “that kid” for a good while. I wore a tiara to school every day in sixth and seventh grade and never brushed my teeth or hair so my breath was rank and there was a giant rat’s nest on the back of my head. I would scream about anime all the time. We don’t talk about middle school.
91. Just a Friendly Prick
Back in high school, this girl brought a needle to school and was walking around the halls poking people with it. It was confiscated, obviously, they were able to determine that it had not been used by her to inject herself, or anyone else, with anything. They did have to go around and find everyone that had been poked though, to make sure no one had any diseases.
92. Scheduled Asthma
One time at band camp (yeah, I know) a kid started having an asthma attack, and as the counselors were helping him he started shouting, “This wasn’t supposed to happen until Thursday!” I still think about that very frequently.
93. The Cutting Edge of Interrogation Techniques
Back in middle school, eighth grade, we had a sub in US history, and he said do whatever you guys want; he won’t tell. Kid pulls out a knife and is doing tricks and throwing it until it got lodged in the chalkboard. Sub sees this and calls the main office. They arrive with police officers. No one is saying anything because where I lived you get beaten up or isolated from the rest for saying the truth.
It was a waiting game, but when the bell rang for lunchtime, as everyone was getting tense, one of the staffers saw me sitting in the back and said, “Hey, he’s my helper during lunch. I trust him, you can let him go.” I got to leave, but when lunch was over, I went to PE and the kid who had the knife wasn’t there. Apparently, near the end of lunch, everyone stayed quiet until the principal said that she would have to take everyone and charge them with possession of a weapon.
The kid who had the knife confessed and cops arrested him. They found matches, a lighter, weed, and a couple of tiny Jack Daniel’s bottles on him.
94. What a Load of Poop
I was the weird kid. I wasn’t allowed to say fart. Instead of saying fart, my parents wanted to replace it with “poop.” One day in second grade I had one of those horrible, once a month, disgusting smelling farts, and I told my friend “I just pooped!” A girl who was also sitting at our table heard me and raised her hand in front of the entire class to tell the teacher I had just pooped my pants.
The walk of shame to the nurse was not fun after having to explain myself to my teacher and the entire class.
95. A Day in the Life Is Weird to Everyone Else
In grade school, I had two really close friends named Juan and Nick. The three of us were really close and bonded of our shared nerdy interests of reading, Star Wars, and The Simpsons. We also really enjoyed drawing. I don’t remember how it started exactly, but we ended up making this notebook that we passed back and forth between us.
It was a comic about a guy named Tom and his cat. We would each take turns doing a strip of a few panels and then hand it over. The comic was about the everyday life of Tom and it was extremely mundane. It was things like Tom tries to decide on a shirt or Tom dropped the cat food on the floor. It was really dumb stuff, but the three of us found it so hilarious because we were weird kids.
One day our teacher caught us with the notebook and confiscated it from us. She never said a word about it, but I bet when she looked through that thing, she probably thought it was the weirdest freaking thing ever, especially since we were laughing hysterically at it when she took it from us.
96. Leave the Curiosity on Your Home Computer
Worked at a school with children with additional needs. All of the students had their own iPad that they took home with them to assist with communication and learning. One day, I was going through the iPad of a student with pretty severe needs. No connection to the world around them, non-verbal, very smart but disinterested in most things except playing games on the iPad and watching kids’ videos in Spanish (child’s family spoke English).
So I’m deleting old photos of their work to make room for new apps. Come across pictures of student’s older brother (11-13 yo) bent over spreading his ass cheeks to show a full close up view of his anus. They were very clearly selfies that he had taken using the timer (there were about 15 of the photos, obviously trying to get a clearer picture at a better angle).
It was decided with leadership to let the parents know, delete the images, and to lock the camera app in restrictions on the iPad so that photos couldn’t be taken. I can understand the child’s interest; just wanted to know what it looked like I guess. On a lighter note, the same day as I was deleting things, I found videos of the brother recording his own toy review videos and interviewing the other siblings about their favorite toys, which was pretty cute.
97. Turning “Shut Up” Into an Art
I’m friends with one of those kids who’s just so quiet that it’s almost as if he can turn invisible. People just forget he’s there somehow. One time, I was in art class and the stereotypical problem girl of our grade, who we can call Jane, was sitting nearby. In the middle of class, Jane started whining and complaining about a bunch of stupid, petty stuff that no one cares about and just being an overall lousy person, as usual.
I had one earbud in and was just sort of tuning her out, when all of a sudden, the quiet kid suddenly looked up and said: “You know that no one cares about what you’re talking about, right? No one is even listening to you, right?” The entire class was SILENT. You could hear a pin drop. I have been friends with the guy ever since!
98. She’s a Poet and We Didn’t Even Know It
A little short blond girl in my class with a really cute high pitched voice was always very quiet, and usually kind of kept to herself. We would often see her sitting alone and writing stuff down while the rest of us were hanging out with our friends during lunch period. One time, someone decided to try and be nice to her. So, he went over and asked the girl what she was writing about.
She proceeded to read us a poem she had just written about how death is inescapable and how everyone will die. I think it’s pretty safe to say that this was not what even a single one of us was expecting to hear her read…
99. A Piojos By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet
I remember going to junior high in this small hick town in Texas while I was on probation (that’s a long and irrelevant story, don’t ask!). We had a quiet kid who was actually really popular at our school, not bullied at all like many other quiet kids often tend to be. Anyway, I was new and had only been going to school for about a month when this happened.
We had a substitute teacher for one of our classes. She was doing a quick roll call, and got to his name—”Piojos.” She said, “That’s an interesting and beautiful name, what does it mean?” The kid responded “lice.” There was dead silence and confused looks all around the room. This kid had been going to this school since kindergarten, as it was a small town, and had been around the same teachers and classmates for all those years.
In all that time, he had ALWAYS gone by Piojos, and none of them had ever realized that it was just his weird childhood nickname. Nobody had ever had a freaking clue what it meant, let alone that it wasn’t his real name. Suddenly, all of his paperwork at the school had to be updated and everything to accommodate this new discovery. I thought it was all hilarious.
100. Work Hard, Party Hard
He always carried around a briefcase, but never opened it. Sat on the brief case during lunch, classes, etc. It was like the nuclear football, always in his hand or he was sitting on it. He carried it onto the stage during graduation, got his diploma, and right as he was leaving the stage, he opened it up. When he did, something amazing happened.
He dumped a bunch of confetti on the principal. I guess it was the long-con? No one questioned why he was carrying it on stage.