“I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It’s awful. If I’m on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I’m going, I’m liable to say I’m going to the opera. It’s terrible.”—J.D. Salinger
Face it, lying is just a part of life. Men lie. Women lie. Children lie. Grandparents lie. We all lie. A lie isn’t always something big either—who hasn’t told a little white lie now and again? But, sometimes, those small innocent lies end up snowballing into something bigger, and when faced with correcting the lie, often people simply let it continue on. That leads to a loss of control and things can spiral way out of hand. Sometimes this ends up in hilarity, and sometimes in disaster, and sometimes a lie just becomes life. When faced with telling the truth, it has become much easier to simply hide from it and go to the internet with the tale, as Reddit makes evident. So remember not to lie too much, and take these stories from Reddit users for reasons why.
43. What We Eat In The Name Of Love
When I was little, my grandma would make me these horrible frozen chicken tenders filled with cheese. They were just god-awful.
Because I am a good grandson, I told her that I loved them. From then on, every time that I visited her, she would cook me those abominations.
Even when I was in graduate school, I would go visit her and for one meal, I would have to slide those gross things down my gullet.
Every time I would say, “Thanks! I love them!” The things we do for love…
42. Prom DJ
I’ve been making EDM since I was 13, and in my senior year of High School I had the opportunity to play some of my music live with Ableton for my classmates at an event. But, because I couldn’t explain what I was doing in the space provided on the sign-up sheet I just put down “DJ,” thinking that nobody would be knowledgeable enough to know the difference.
Apparently, everybody liked it so much that the prom committee asked me to DJ prom, and like an idiot I said yes. I waited for my birthday, and made sure that nobody got me any gifts-just money, which I spent on software and a Mixtrack Pro. I learned how to DJ in three months, did prom, got paid 250$. I’m making decent money off of gigs now, and I do the prom every year.
41. Something About Mary
For some reason, I have a tendency to drool even though I’m in my mid 20s. Everyone gets a laugh out of it and I’m not terribly embarrassed by it, so whateva.
Come to find out one of my friends, Dan, told another friend Mary (who honestly didn’t like me too much) that the reason I drool is that I got kicked by a horse and had to get surgery when I was in grade school.
Ever since, Mary immediately comes to my defense if someone makes a drooling joke and will pull people aside and tell them to knock it off. It’s really a nice gesture!
How have I repaid her kindness you ask? Whenever we are around horses (we live near some farms and do a bit of camping and hiking and stuff) I play along with the lie, start acting really nervous, and act freaked out if they get too close.
I feel like kind of a jerk, but it’s pretty funny. Truth is, I’ve just got weird, drooly genetics!
40. Mormon Baptism
When I was 16, I humored some Mormon missionaries to make my best friend and his family happy (they were Mormon). So after a few home “lessons” about the LDS church I had already shown a lot of fake support and interest. Being awkward, I didn’t want to admit to not being interested.
When they asked if I wanted to be baptized weeks later, I said yes, imagining I’d eventually back out. I didn’t. Became an atheist Mormon. After months of living this double life, attending church, etc, my mom decided to show support by becoming Mormon. I was mortified.
My recovering Catholic dad pulls me aside and asks me if I really believe this stuff. I explained everything to him and he thought it was hilarious. I also made him promise not to tell Mom because, again, awkward and too far deep. She asked me to baptize her and I refused. This insulted her.
Fast forward a year or so and I distanced myself from church people while still maintaining the close relationship with my friend and his family. It’s been 12 years now, and we still hang out weekly and nobody considers me Mormon. I never explained this to him.
39. SpongeBob In-Laws
One time when I was 17, I was hanging out at my then-girlfriend’s house with her and her little sister. Little sister was watching Spongebob and they jumped up to go into the other room leaving me alone to watch TV. Being polite, I didn’t change the channel.
In walks mom and sees me watching Spongebob and she asks me “Hey IHABTom, you like that show?” I reply, again trying to be polite, “Yep!”
So every year since then I’ve gotten Spongebob SOMETHING from my now-wife’s parents.
I hate that sponge.
38. Finding A Reason To Live
I told everyone I was going to double-major in Psychology and German. I wanted to, sure, but my plan was to commit suicide after high school graduation so I at least left a good legacy (Finished summa cum laude—I was a good student).
I just finished my BA in Psychology in July. Feels weird—”wait, damn, did I really do the thing?” and realizing you have to plan for a future you never anticipated having.
37. A Love Of Ham
Buddy of mine shared this one. He told his wife’s parents he liked their Christmas ham at the first family function he was invited to. They took that as he loved ham in general.
Ten years later it’s the only food they have at any meal where it’s him, wife and kids and the inlaws. They have dinner twice a month, it’s always ham. They send him ham-centric gift baskets every year on his birthday at work. Every holiday it’s ham, ham, ham, at every meal. They took a 3-hour detour last year to get a picture of some sign in Ham Lake MN or a postcard or something and thought he’d be so excited when they sent him the photo.
It’s like they only ever learned one fact about him and it was he likes ham. At this point, I’m not sure they remembered his name and heartily pat him on the back referring to him as their ham-loving son-in-law because they’re too embarrassed to ask ten years in and employ complex, Leslie-Nielsen-level schemes to get someone to steal his wallet or get someone to say his name that always fail.
He hates ham, always has, its too salty and makes his hands swell up so much his wedding ring can’t be removed. His wife now hates ham. He was just being polite.
We’re attending a christening of their kid next weekend and I’ll get to meet the inlaws in question. I will be asking them if they love ham as much as he certainly does.
I want to know if everyone in the family hates ham and they’re all just smiling while dying on the inside at every meal, passing the ham with anger boiling like a pot of hot ham water just under surface.
So yeah that’s his life right now, forced to eat ham because he lied about liking ham and he’s in too deep.
36. Beauty Of Kids
Told my then-girlfriend that I’d like to have kids someday.
I didn’t actually want to, but she was hot and I thought saying that was a good idea at the time.
Now she’s my wife and we have a 1-year-old.
No regrets, though. Being a dad is pretty awesome.
35. Working A Lie
Before finishing college I got a low-level job in a low-level section of a very large company. My first boss liked me a lot, assumed I had finished college and recommended me for another job which I got.
I did not mention college on my resume and the hiring manager assumed a college degree, given the referral. That repeated three times and now I am within the ranks of solid college grads from solid schools. I never finished and they all assume I have.
34. Go To Stephen Hawking “Fact”
I live in Cambridge, UK and my go-to answer to those “interesting-facts-about-you” moments (you know, corporate icebreakers or interview stuff) is that I got knocked over by Stephen Hawking whilst on the pavement near my house.
Partly true as in he lives in the city, travels out and about on said streets. Truth is I just saw him on a path once. I was driving.
People love that it’s a bit different so imma keep using it.
33. Converting To Judaism
Friend of mine started a job. Shortly after starting, they were having a company BBQ. He looked at the sausages and was grossed out by them for some reason.
So he claimed he was Jewish to have a polite way to not partake.
Lie snowballed and compounded, and he ended up converting. He is now Jewish.
32. Reason To Run
Told a small lie to a girl I was texting that I love running, dunno how it sold because I was fat. Started running the second after I sent that. Five years later I went from 298 to 180.
31. Wrong Religion
Somebody thought I was Jewish and I didn’t want to correct them because I hate confrontation. So now everyone in the school thinks I’m Jewish and my homeroom got me a Passover card signed by everyone.
My brain told me it was time to stop but I didn’t want to ruin the thought of the gesture.
30. Civil Service Discounts
I became friends with one of the managers at Panera. One day as I was giving a cashier my order, he told her to give me the same discount as they give to firemen, police, and paramedics, I think.
He just chose this discount as it was an easy button to push on the register. Well, this cashier really thought I was a fireman. I’m not.
So for the next two years this cashier gave me the discount. Even if she wasn’t serving me, she would go out of her way to tell the cashier that was helping me, “He’s a fireman, give him the discount.”
It snowballed into such an awkward situation that I didn’t know how to get out of it. Luckily that cashier eventually transferred to another store and I now happily pay full price.
29. Impressing The Parents To A New Degree
I was dating a girl and I met her parents. I was a freshman in college seeking my physics degree, when I met her dad he asked me why in the world I would go into physics when it is a difficult field to get work in.
Thinking on the spot I said, “yeah I’ve thought about that too and I’ve decided to switch to mechanical engineering.” Welp I’ll be getting my mech engineering degree this May.
28. Using A Lie To Escape Homelessness
I was homeless, sleeping under a bridge in Charlotte near the music factory. I needed a job so I dressed as best I could, which wasn’t very well, walked into a bar on 7th and lied about my work experience. They gave me the job, I started working that day.
They paid me cash after every shift. I worked there for three years, became the manager, and now I love cooking. Never cooked a day in my life up till that point.
A lady, in her 50s, who was acting as the kitchen manager trained me. She knew I lied, but she also knew I was in trouble. I couldn’t even cut a tomato. She saved my life. She didn’t tell anyone and kept training me even though sometimes I’d piss her off but I always tried to do better.
I got an apartment a month into the job using another cook to call the apartment and let them know how much I get paid because they wanted that for some reason. I was getting paid $11 under the table so nothing was on record which is why he had to call.
I worked as a line cook immediately. It was overwhelming. I’m not from the city and the work was fast paced. I would study on my time off by watching youtube and cooking at home.
27. 10 Years Without A Reeses Pieces
I was working at a small company about ten years ago, around the holidays. It was approaching Thanksgiving, and the ladies in my department had organized a potluck luncheon. I was adding my contribution to the sign-up sheet when I noticed that one particular coworker had signed up to bring brownies. She was a nice, single, older woman who had many pets at home (2-3 cats and as many dogs) and was regularly covered in a layer of pet fur.
The day of the party had arrived, and everyone was going around filling their plates. There they were on the dessert table—the brownies. I didn’t want to eat any of them, but I also didn’t want to be impolite, so I told her I couldn’t have any because I was allergic to nuts.
Fast forward nine years, and I am out with a friend (who had also been a co-worker at this company) I had kept since that job.
After a few drinks, I tell her, tearfully, that I have a confession to make—I’m not really allergic to nuts. She burst out laughing, thinking it was going to be something much more serious than that. She is the only person I have made this confession to.
26. Guess I Have A New Name
An electrician came and priced up a job at our rental property.
He greeted me with “Hi Ian! I’ve come to price some work up,” I replied “yep, that’s me.”
My name is not Ian, it’s not even close to Ian. I was too British to correct him with his error, so I just went along with it, it’s not the worst lie I’ve ever come out with.
In my head I’m thinking, at worst the guy is just going to call me Ian again when he leaves.
He was in my flat for a good 20 minutes, calling me Ian during conversations we had. Not once did I correct him, just stayed in character as Ian.
Weeks went by and he eventually came back to do the work at the flat. My mrs. and me had the day off, I had forgotten about the whole Ian thing until that day, so I explained to her that if she talked to me that day to call me Ian. It’s just easier.
25. From No Kevin To All Kevin
This is one that doesn’t bother me. I had a coworker with memory issues or dementia and he called me Kevin once in awhile, not my name obviously. It made me laugh and one of my coworkers started calling me Kevin and telling new employees that’s my name. This was three years ago and it is still going.
At the same time, I told my son who thought it was hilarious, and somehow it morphed into me calling him Kevin, and my cat too. So I would yell downstairs, “Kevin, is Kevin down there?” My son told his best friend, and they started calling each other Kevin. Now when I see my son’s friend I call him Kevin. For this story to come full circle, my son and said friend came to my office and I introduced them as my son Kevin and his friend Kevin.
Also, my sister now calls my son Kevin.
The coworker who calls me Kevin calls my son Kev-dog and we call my son Kevie when he starts acting like a tool, to make it sound like we are talking to a 9-year-old (he’s 16).
When I come in in the morning I flip the same coworker off and call him Kevin. There is a guy I hate who tried to get in on the Kevin craze and I shunned him.
Want more? When we go out to a restaurant or Starbucks or whatever, I use Kevin as the name, and it makes us all laugh.
24. Unhappy Marriage
“I love you” turned into 11 years of marriage, two kids and a divorce.
I was a young, dumb kid who just wanted to help his insecure girlfriend feel better.
23. Not Even Close
Not me but my Dad. We moved and he was convinced the postman’s name was “Ger,” as in short for Gerry. He greeted him by it, nearly every day for about ten years.
We even gave him a Christmas card which he displayed down in the sorting office.
Fast forward and we have a temporary postman, my Mum asking him after a few weeks “When is Ger coming back?” This was met with stunned silence and a puzzled look, with a resounding “Who is Ger? No one works in the locality by that name.”
Turns out, his name is Declan and he was too nice to correct my Dad for close to a decade.
22. Swimming In Lavender
Once my boyfriend’s mom asked me if I liked their bathroom soap. It’s lavender, I don’t like lavender. But I decided to tell her “I love it, it smells so good!”
Now I have an endless supply, she buys me some all the time. It’s too sweet to tell her the truth, so I just keep it to myself and use the mediocre-smelling soap. Oh well, this is how I live now.
21. Playing With Jack
When I was 14 years old I played with a group of other kids on stage during the 2008 Hawaii International Ukulele Festival. Jack Johnson was performing and we were behind him strumming along. Hundreds of us.
This story has turned so thoroughly into “I played on stage side by side with him just the two of us” that I can’t correct people anymore and just shamefully accept the oohs and ahhs when it gets retold.
20. Doing What You Got To Do To Protect Your Brother
People picked on my brother in high school for getting jumped by some wannabe “blood” thugs in the bathroom. Popular thugs, if you can believe it. It was relentless. His confidence and any friendships were crushed, cause, you know, people can’t be seen with the loser.
One day I was confronted by said thugs, basically talking crap about my brother, and in my infinite wisdom, I said I could box so they better back off. Something to that effect. Looking back, I cringe, but you do what you have to.
Needless to say, they did not back off. Somehow, I landed a punch on one of the kids that dislocated his jaw. Like, flapping around like a mouthpiece hanging from a football helmet.
I became the kid who could “box” but never wanted to fight, which I guess gave me credibility. I don’t really know. Everyone and their hyenas came to me asking where they could learn said boxing skills, how I’d learned by 16, all that crap. I’d wanted to just come out and say I had been lucky, but I didn’t want anyone to give my brother trouble again. So the lie stayed.
Luckily, no one ever picked on my brother afterward, and I did eventually learn some boxing fundamentals, but mostly because I felt like I was living a lie. Which I was. As a man, I have not had to keep up the facade.
19. Working Up The Ladder One Spreadsheet At A Time
“Yea I’d say I’m pretty good with Excel.”
No. No I wasn’t.
Annnnnnd now I’m an analyst at a Fortune 400 company.
18. Kidding Yourself Into A Kink
I playfully said if she acted up once more she’d get the belt.
It turned out she was super into bdsm and it was surprisingly fun to do, knowing she was into it.
Now I guess I’m a sadist.
17. Raspberry Pi Lies
I was looking for a job and I didn’t want to be a fast food manager anymore so I fluffed out my resume with computer skills I didn’t have. I was contacted by a recruiter who asked me some questions to gauge my abilities and I straight googled the answers as he was asking them.
When I went to the interview, the boss had all of these circuit boards sitting all over his desk. I recognized them as Raspberry Pis from Reddit, so I asked what he was using them for. The rest of the interview was just this guy bragging about all of these projects he had going on. He might as well have been speaking Greek.
I just feigned interest and said wow a lot. I’m hired. Who knows how this happened but I have literally googled every problem I have been given. Day 543, they still think I know what I’m doing. I’m making 1.5 times what I was making as a manager. I have a GED for chrissakes.
16. Accidental Pet Duck
I told my parents I bought a duck when I was 20 to tease them. I found a picture online of one and sent it to them. Sadly, they believed me. They got overly excited about their “grand-duck” and told my whole family. I ended up buying a duck…
15. No Beers For You
Wasn’t a drinker in high school so to shut down peer pressure I told them I was born with half a liver and drinking anything could make me very sick or kill me.
The lie just became natural and followed me to college. Was out with some friends playing pool and decided to have a beer.
When I came back, a buddy slapped it out of my hand thinking I was suicidal. Then the explanations began…
14. Awkward Dinner Date
I didn’t want to go to dinner with the gang from work, including my boss, so I told them I was having dinner with my wife and her parents. I lied.
I get home, wife wants to go out to dinner. So, we head to the restaurant, and just as we’re getting near the door, I see the work gang with my loudmouth boss all piling out of their cars. What are the odds of us picking the same restaurant? Damn. Busted.
There was an old couple walking into the restaurant in front of us. I held the door for them and insisted they join us for dinner.
They were quite perplexed but accepted my offer of a free dinner.
It was the most uncomfortable dinner ever. They had no clue who we were, none of us had any shared interests… they rushed through dinner, thanked us, and got the hell away from what I’m sure they thought were a couple of weirdos.
13. Suddenly Steve
My husband’s best friend has a six-year-old daughter that I see often. When she was almost three she babbled something to me (I think it was “My friends here!”) and my husband interpreted it as “My friend Steve!” and started calling me Steve in front of her.
Now her whole family calls me Steve when she’s around, and she still believes that’s my name. For clarity, I’m a female and my name isn’t anything close to Steve.
12. No More Birthdays
A new coworker of mine tried downplaying his bday and eventually after me hounding him about why he didn’t like celebrating, he eventually told me in confidence that his best friend was killed on his birthday and he hates thinking about it.
Fast forward eight years—this guy and I had become really good friends. Best friends. Lived together at one point. He was accepted into my friend group and I always made sure to downplay his bday (his is four days after another friend) so we just did a group thing and never made a big deal about it.
Finally, someone got brave enough and wanted to talk to him about it, and he laughed and had no recollection of telling me that and said he was probably just screwing with me. He always wondered why no one wished him a happy bday.
11. Painful Identity
A dude I knew was giving this girl some crap and she kicked him in the nuts. Ok, extreme reaction, but such is life. He doubled over in pain, but since he was kind of a jerk anyway, no one cared much.
The next day (a Friday) his dad took him out of school for some reason. Then when he returned on Monday he learned that the big rumor was that his balls ruptured from the kick, and he had to get emergency surgery. Rather than correcting anyone, he went along with it.
This went on for years. People made fun of him, and he just joked about it. There were idiotic songs people sung about him. He laughed about it. Never denied it once, in fact participated in some of the joking at times.
Finally, one day about three years later he comes clean. She didn’t even actually kick him in the balls, just in the gut and it really knocked the wind out of him. After all this time, the dude who got kicked in the balls was basically his identity.
Strange turn of events.
10. Chatting With The Dentist About A Fake Past
I moved to a new city, and got a new dentist. For some reason, the guy thinks I used to see him at his old practice in a town I’ve never lived in. I corrected him a couple times, but he just keeps bringing it up, so now I just kind of roll with it.
He asks after my parents, which is easy enough… but we’ve had all kinds of conversations about local restaurants I’ve never been to and other random stuff like that.
9. The Classic “Moved To Africa” Excuse
I did online homeschooling for a few years and there was a forum where you could socialize with other students enrolled in the school. During this time I was big into making music on a DAW I had downloaded. I didn’t know how to play any instruments, but I could still download different drum beats and guitar riffs from the dev’s website.
I shared a few songs with my fellow “classmen” and told everyone that I could play guitar and had a friend that tracked the drums. Eventually, people started asking me for guitar lessons or more songs.
I couldn’t keep up the lie so I told them that my friend moved to Africa for a missions trip and would not return for the foreseeable future. But everyone in that forum thought I could play the guitar. I couldn’t, and still can’t play to save my life.
8. Surprise Birthday Party Confessions
I convinced pretty much everyone in my life that I was allergic to coconut at a young age. I simply just didn’t like it at all and it was a good way to avoid eating it (logic of a pre-teen mind). My mom played along.
It wasn’t until about three years ago when my mother in law had a surprise birthday party for her husband and she made a german chocolate cake. The kicker here: she did HALF of it coconut and half without so I could enjoy the cake and not have an allergic reaction to it.
I broke down. Laughed. Told them it wasn’t true and I actually am not allergic.
Her face melted. I hadn’t realized how long I had kept up the lie until that very moment.
7. New [Insanely Exciting Inaccessible Dangerous] Life
I was a new graduate student freshly arrived in the US and very poor, and I couldn’t afford a laptop, so the only way I could communicate with my family was to hit up the library and use a public computer to email with them. Eventually, my girlfriend back home wanted to Skype, and I wanted a little privacy for this if you know what I mean, so I set about finding the most private computer available to me in the library.
On a recon mission the day before the Skype, I located a single computer in a conference room and the next morning got up at 7am to account for the time difference and walked into the conference room with my eyes totally focused on the computer. I’d actually walked most of the way in before I realized there was a group of people around the conference table having a ridiculously early morning meeting.
The guy at the head of the table, apparently thinking I’d showed up for the meeting and that I was heading towards him, handed me a paper that said “agenda” and said he was so glad a graduate student had shown up, then launched into the most incomprehensible talk about electrodes and chemistry.
Meanwhile, I know my girlfriend is sitting halfway around the world thinking we’re going to have sexy time Skype and I’m blowing her off and I’m feeling desperate. But everything I knew about US culture was only based on movies, so I have no idea if I can just apologize and leave or what.
I miserably sat down for the incomprehensible meeting, rehearsing all the excuses I can give my girlfriend when we talk later. I was barely paying attention. Eventually, questions were directed at me and I confess that I’m a new grad student and I don’t know much about the equipment they’re talking about.
Everyone excitedly tells me all about it and I still don’t totally understand what they mean, except I’m starting to get that they’re going on a research expedition to [an insanely exciting inaccessible dangerous place] and they’re building a piece of equipment to bring with them.
By the end of the meeting, I am part of the project. Six months later I am in [an insanely exciting inaccessible dangerous place] helping to operate this equipment. I appear briefly in the background of a Discovery Channel documentary (only black guy within hundreds of miles so easy to spot). I happily transfer to this other lab and this other field for my fully paid and stipended PhD. I am considered a real go-getter, mainly based on my arrival at an early morning meeting no one else wanted to attend.
New major, new field, new life because I was too awkward to admit I had just been in the room to sexy skype with my girlfriend.
6. Elephant Lies
My life, my dad’s lie.
He’s a GP in the US and had an older Indian man as a patient. While they were chatting, at some point my dad mentioned that his sister loved elephants and had a collection of figurines.
The patient went back to India to visit family, and he brought back a couple small carved elephants to my dad to give to me.
He’d misunderstood/misremembered and thought it was his daughter who collected elephants. My dad thought it was a one-time thing, thanked him, and said I’d love them.
Turns out he went back to India every year. For ten years, I’d get a new elephant figurine whenever that patient had come back.
5. Peanut Butter Games
When I first got married back in 2005, my wife asked me if I like creamy peanut butter. I knew she did, so I told her “Yeah that’s great!” She buys creamy peanut butter, I buy creamy peanut butter.
About three years ago, she’s doing some experiment or something with our daughter and she needed chunky peanut butter. I saw it in the pantry and exclaim “Oh chunky peanut butter, I love this stuff!” to which she responds “… You do? I’ve been buying Creamy peanut butter all these years because you told me that was your favorite.”
So long story a little shorter, we both prefer chunky peanut butter by a large margin, but had been buying creamy for ten years because we both thought it was what the other preferred.
Reading that back, we’re pretty boring people.
4. Fake It Until You Make It
I know a guy that took his tuition and room and board money in the form of a check from his grandfather every year, and also got checks for incidentals. He was kicked out midway through his first year. He ended up “graduating” after the fall semester of what should have been his senior year, so he didn’t walk, made a fake diploma and had a graduation party.
He ended up getting a job at a local place that requires a college education, and is now a manager and makes quite a bit. Never had to provide anything showing he graduated and they never checked. He used the stolen tuition money to buy a house during the downturn and did well on it.
I imagine his story is probably one in a million for these types of circumstances, though.
3. What It Takes To Be A Nurse
So I’m a visiting nurse and started seeing a patient three days/week for wound care. He was a paraplegic and didn’t get out much or have many visitors. He offered me a cup of coffee one morning, but I didn’t know him very well yet and was uneasy about drinking something out of unknown person’s kitchen. Plus, we are really not supposed to, but I could tell he just needed a little company.
I told him I drink it black to keep it simple, never planning to have another cup. Next day, I come in and notice a little sticky note on his counter that said “Remember to make fresh pot of coffee for Rachael.” It was so touching to me that I went early every single appointment from that day forward to have a cup of black coffee.
I hate black coffee but I felt it was too late to tell him I liked creamer after all. I drank black coffee with him for 3.5 years and he became a good friend until he passed away…
2. Friendship From Nowhere
My freshman year of college I was walking around campus when a very friendly looking girl waved at me. I’m awkward, so of course, I waved back. The next week, the same thing.
This began the weirdest saga of my life.
For the next two years, we greeted each other as old friends every time we came across the other. She knew my name (somehow?), I never could figure hers out and it was WAY too late to ask. I just pretended I knew who she was and why she knew me.
Finally, I joined the honors program and entered my classes for my thesis. Who should be in this class but mystery girl! I was horrified. I wouldn’t be able to pass it off anymore.
First day of class we are all sitting there chatting and she greets me by name, again. I had finally learned her name from attendance, thank God. Someone asks, finally, “oh, so do you two know each other? Where’d you meet?”
I stare at her. She stares at me. Finally, she breaks down wailing. “I don’t know! I don’t know, okay, we’ve just been waving at each other for two years and it was too late to ask!”
She’s standing in my wedding next spring as one of my bridesmaids and very best friends.
1. You Are Now My Girlfriend
I have one. A good friend of mine did not have an umbrella on a very rainy day. One of her coworkers offered her a lift home. One lift home turned into two, then three, until he was shuttling her to and from work every day for months.
This coworker is also a very good baker, he would make these lovely cakes and pastries and offer them to her which she politely took, every day. Then one afternoon, on her way home, he stops and picks up his parents. He happily introduces her as his girlfriend. She was shocked by this title to say the least. They proceeded to invite her to a family gathering over the long weekend to meet EVERYONE.
His parents, they were so nice, she accepted because she didn’t have the heart to embarrass the guy. She went to the gathering, met with other family members and he kept introducing her as his girlfriend. She never worked up the nerve to correct or stop him. Long story short they are now married.
To clarify: Yes, this is a very real story. The man is incredibly socially awkward. He liked his coworker for a long time, so driving her home and baking cakes was his way of “working up the nerve” to talk to a pretty girl. She always thought he was sweet and kind but since he was never forward with his feelings, she only saw him as a friend. I am outside of the US so there is a culture difference for some readers. However, this is still a bizarre courtship story in my country.
After the family gathering, they sat down and had a long talk about their feelings and expectations and he finally asked her out on a proper date. They went on to date for two years and have been happily married for the past five.