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We all know that classic movie trope. Confronted with something incredulous, a character goes, “Oh heck (or another H-word) no!” and gets the heck out of there. Well, that film cliché was inspired by something real. These Redditors dished on the moments that made them head for the hills. From creepy crawlies to stranger danger, delight in the fright of these real-life “Oh heck no!” moments.


1. Do I Pass?

I was in a car accident in my early 20s. I was driving around a bend under a freeway on my last lesson before going for my probationary license when a car driving at least 70km/h over the limit (160km/h in a 90km/h zone; about 100mph in a 55 zone) smashed into my rear drivers’ side. The car I was driving spun out of control and smashed into an underpass.

My teacher and I were both desperately lucky to be alive though we both sustained serious injuries.

AussieReport

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2. The “High” in Highway

Got into a car with a friend; did not realize she was VERY high until she almost killed us blowing through a red light. Made her pull the heck over, and I drove us home—suspended license or not. I was not ready to die like that.

KE5TR4L

3. Red Hot Summer

Last week, when I started the BBQ, went inside to grab the things, and came back out to see the entire grill and top of the tank entirely engulfed in flames. Apparently, we had a leak we didn’t notice. I managed to throw water on the tank and cut the flames ASAP, so thankfully no real damage, but I think I’m done BBQing for the year.

zerenitia

4. If Only You Could Renovate Your Anxiety

I was home alone one day and heard someone walking on the roof. I literally almost pooped my pants. Found out later that the roofers were coming that afternoon. Mom forgot to tell me.

ivyrose49

5. No a Fan of The Lion King

I’ve posted this before somewhere, but I used to work the night shift all the time, and basically shifted my whole sleep schedule over to that. I wake up at 7pm every day. It was fine, save for the fact that every now and then I’d have to do my grocery shopping at like 10 pm; which wouldn’t be so bad if I also didn’t have Epilepsy which means I can’t legally drive.

So, I bike everywhere—usually listening to podcasts on the way. One day I was on my way home from shopping and got to my driveway. It was one of those super long rural driveways. It wasn’t creepy, really, just secluded. Anyway: it’s a long drive through the woods and I’m used to all kinds of animals jumping out and running by as I’m going down the road.

But this day something felt off—I saw an animal jump out into the middle of the drive, and I just stopped waiting for it to scurry off. I honestly thought it was a deer, because they’re stupid and everywhere. But then my lights caught the eye shine, and I realized it was wayyyyy too low to be a deer. My next thought was, oh great it’s one of the coyotes that we keep seeing in the backyard.

I unplugged my headphones and turn my music up as loud as it’ll go (I had a Lumia 635, which had a loud as heck speaker). I started stomping my feet and trying to scare the dumb coyote out. I was shining my lights out on it. It just stood there, staring at me…and then it got low to the ground and stalked towards me.

I realized immediately this was not a deer or coyote, or even a neighborhood dog that had escaped. It was a freaking mountain lion that was now slowly approaching me. I backed my way out of the driveway, making sure not to lose eye contact with the animal, and then busted my ass down the hill to my job (only place open at that hour within immediate biking distance).

I wasn’t 100% certain it was a mountain lion. I just knew it was not any of the animals I’m used to seeing at that it was acting aggressive/defensive towards me being there. The only reason I KNOW it was a mountain lion was as I turned the corner on the top of the hill, I tilted my head (to make sure nothing was following me) to see another (maybe the same one?) sitting on a rock wall literally four feet away from me.

It normally takes me 30 minutes to get to work, it took me only 10 minutes that day.

VirtualSuit

Heck No ExperiencesShutterstock

6. Not All Medicine is Helpful

I was in the ER very, very ill from pneumonia. Think four staff in the cubicle with me the entire time for about an hour while they diagnosed what was wrong with me. I originally went to Urgent Care and sat in the waiting room for 45 minutes and the moment they triaged me, they sent me to the ER. Anyway, after about an hour, and a max of 10 people in working on me at once, I had an IV in each arm and everyone left.

I was completely alone, still going in and out of consciousness because of low oxygen saturation. Whoops, turns out I’m allergic to one of the antibiotics. By the time I noticed, my hands and wrists were too swollen to hit the call nurse button and so I was just flailing my sausage arms at the equipment as hard as I could (not very) until someone came to check on me.

It took the staff maybe 30 seconds to figure out what was wrong with me once they came in, but it was some of the longest seconds of my life because I couldn’t communicate with them and I had come out of the frying pan and into the fire. At least I knew it was anaphylaxis and wasn’t just suddenly dying from a mystery disease.

TK-DuVeraun

7. Slick with Fear

When I was in fourth grade, my family went on a vacation to Bermuda, and we went on a snorkeling “adventure” outside the hotel we were staying at. The first 15 minutes were wild. I got to see reefs and all these awesome sea creatures and whatnot, but then I get a little closer to the rocks to have a better view. Soon after, this giant freaking moray eel slithers its head out.

I froze in fear. I was a tiny kid then, and at the time this thing was massive, staring me down with its mouth open and teeth out. It seemed like forever. Finally, I had enough sense to slowly work my way backwards and once I felt safe, I swam as fast as I could to shore. In hindsight, it’s cool to be able to say I was that close to a moray eel, but I’m surprised I didn’t soil myself then and there because I was terrified.

forumdestroyer156

8. You’re Not On the Lease

I was home alone, getting ready to go out for the evening. For background, a lot of people who knew that house believed it was haunted. I was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for my ride, when I heard HEAVY footsteps come running up the stairs from the basement. Unmistakable stomping up the steps, not just the random creaks and pops houses make.

The real “Oh heck no” moment came from realizing that I lived in a place where I didn’t know what scared me more, having another human in the house or not.

Permalink

9. Ain’t I A Stinker?

Walking to McDonalds late at night. Heard a noise in front of me when I was on the side of the road. Pull out my phone, turn on the flashlight and I see the butt end of a skunk with its tail raised. Noped the heck out of there faster than I knew it was possible to run. It didn’t spray, luckily.

infered5

10. Some Foxholes Are Better Left Undug

Growing up there was this creepy kid in my neighborhood. He was always doing weird stuff. One day, he showed up and said he found something cool in the woods. I followed him out to where he had found a very recently dead fox. That’s when he pointed out that it was a female. I got the heck outta there, my opinion of him forever changed for the worse.

GuruBushHippie

11. Love Knows No Species Bounds

Clearing a compound in Afghanistan when I rounded a corner to this courtyard that was off to the side and saw a guy making sweet, sweet love to a donkey. I just thought to myself “I can’t deal with this right now” and went back to my team. I told my lieutenant what I saw and went to the opposite side of the compound, where I stayed.

Controlled_Pair

12. God of Thunder

When watching The Exorcist home alone at night as a teenager. It was raining with loud thunder and lightning and just as the girl spends her head 360 degrees and looks right at me a huge clap of thunder hits and knocks the power out at my house.

Acidbather

13. Don’t Call Me a Swinger

Trekking through the woods behind my friends’ house while playing manhunt. Midnight in December. No sensible reason for anyone to be outside. Snow everywhere. I’m walking along and approach this ramshackle cabin/crackhouse. Hear a faint squeaking of a swing set moving back and forth. Audibly to my friend, who was with me, I say: “What the heck is that?”

Dead. Freaking. Silence ensues. The swing stops moving the minute I stop talking. I’m not known for my running, but I think I broke land speed records that day.

redpanda575

14. Guard Yourself From This Guardian

When I was about ten years old, we’d been on holiday and I’d spent every day going down to the local pool. There was a friendly lifeguard there, probably in his early 20s. Maybe a little too friendly to a ten-year-old, often commenting on how I looked in my bathing suit, etc. Me and my friend were super innocent and just thought he was nice but a bit weird.

Anyway, it got to the last day of the holidays and he knew I was leaving. The pool was busy, and I was playing at the deep end. All of a sudden there was a big splash and the lifeguard’s face popped up right beside me, really close. I remember it so clearly. He smiled at me and said, “It’s time.” I just yelped and got the heck out of the pool and ran away, literally never to return again.

I don’t know what he meant by “It’s time” but some instinctive part of me knew this was wrong. It wasn’t until years later I saw just how sinister and gross that was. I’m so glad I ran!

Nothingtoitreally

15. A Not-So-Good Samaritan

Early one morning, I was leaving a hotel and a man followed me to my car. I jumped in quickly and locked the doors as my butt was hitting the seat. He knocked on my window and I let it down only about two inches. He tried his best to convince me I dropped a key in the parking lot and should get out and get it. It was a ploy and I knew it.

I finally looked him in the eye and said, “No! Not me!” He knew I meant that he wasn’t getting me. I wasn’t scared, but instead furious. I left before he did and hurried to get onto the interstate. With heavy five-lane traffic, he came flying up behind me and then right before slamming into me he darted left between cars, almost causing an accident.

I couldn’t report him because I left so quickly and didn’t get his plate number. I never stayed at that hotel again while traveling that route.

Southernbelle01

16. Stranger Danger Doesn’t Take a Vacation

I was traveling around Rajasthan with my family (parents, aunt, uncle, cousins, grandparents) when I was 11 years old. We were having lunch at our hotel and I got into a fight with my aunt and stormed out of the hotel. The hotel had a small park/children’s play area by the with swings and a slide and whatnot. I ran outside and went to play on the swings.

It being a small hotel and lunchtime, the play area was totally empty, as most of the other kids at the hotel were with their families. I sat on the swings and stewed for a little while, before a man (probably in his 30s) approached the play area and sat down on the swings beside me. Being a naive 11-year-old who was missing her friends back home and who had no one else to talk to about my fight, when this guy started asking me questions about my family, I opened up and answered them—in detail.

He asked if I was hungry, seeing as I had missed lunch. I told him I was, and he said he had food in his private cottage. The cottages were behind the hotel and were quite fancy—much fancier than our standard-issue hotel rooms. He asked if I wanted to eat lunch with him in his cottage. I was really curious to see what those cottages looked like from the inside and I was this close to saying yes when my mum came looking for me and the guy bolted.

My back was to the entrance to the hotel, but my guess is he must’ve seen my mum approaching the play area and booked it before she got a glimpse of him. My mum sat next to me, where he’d been sitting, and asked me who the man was. I told him he was my new friend—oh gosh, 11-year-old me was dumb as heck—and that he’d invited me to lunch in his posh cottage.

Mum gave me a lecture on stranger danger, led me back inside the hotel and filed a complaint at reception about the creepy man hanging around the kid’s play area. I was heavily supervised for the rest of our trip and it wasn’t until a couple of years later that I realized that the guy probably saw a kid sitting alone in the park and figured I’d be an easy target.

FauxPoesFoes228

17. Some Missed Connections Are Better That Way

When I was 12, I took a flight by myself from Sacramento to Anchorage to see my aunt, with a three-hour layover at the Sea-Tac airport. I was going to be 13 in a few months, which was the minimum age to fly alone, so my parents just told me to lie if asked. Normally, my parents were extremely overbearing and overprotective, but I don’t know, I guess they just thought this would be fine.

At the Sea-Tac airport, I noticed a man watching me. Memory does strange things, so who knows what he actually looked like, but I remember him looking quite tall, about 40 years old, and of a vague ethnicity. At 12 years old, I was a dumb child. I mean really, really dumb. I thought I was a grown woman—of course, I was, if I wasn’t, why would I be flying alone to Alaska?—so I interpreted the man watching me as just “thinking I was hot” because I was wearing very stylish clothing.

This didn’t bother me because I had convinced myself that only older men have the good taste to be interested in me. I was bitter that boys my own age didn’t like me. When I got on the plane, he was sitting a row behind and across from me. I kept checking to see if he was still looking at me, and it seemed to me that he was. I felt a mild sense of accomplishment at being so interesting, but I mostly put it out of my mind and just listened to music on my CD-Walkman.

When we landed in Anchorage, I kind of forgot about the guy as I was looking for my aunt. I couldn’t find her. I didn’t have a cell phone, and she didn’t have a cell phone at that time, so I wasn’t sure what to do. I wandered around and bought a snack and sat on benches, waiting. Eventually, I looked up her phone number that I’d written down and used a payphone to call her house.

I left a message on the machine. When I hung up, the man was standing next to me. I had been waiting for my aunt for about an hour at that point. He asked me if everything was ok, and if I was lost. His accent was one I didn’t recognize; I still have no idea. I told him that I couldn’t find my aunt and had been waiting for a long time.

He told me that she might be waiting outside in her car for me, since she may have had to pull up to the pick-up/drop-off lanes. He offered an arm and said he’d walk me outside to make sure I found her safely. I started to walk with him, but when we got to the main lobby I saw my aunt. She had been looking for me but I guess couldn’t get past the gate or something,

I don’t know, I was young and didn’t know how airports worked. I turned to tell the guy it was all ok, and thank you, but he had freaking vanished. Just booked it out of there. I thought I saw him walking swiftly up the escalator, but I wasn’t even sure. Maybe this was nothing. Maybe this really was a good Samaritan trying to help a scared kid, and I would really like to think that.

I feel guilty that the memory freaks me out sometimes. But honestly, when he disappeared as soon as my aunt showed up, my stomach dropped. I have no idea what would have happened to me if I’d gone outside with him. Probably nothing good.

calliope720

18. Better Safe Than Sorry

I was riding the train after a soccer game with my brother and his wife and was standing in a compartment. A very visibly intoxicated woman was sitting on the floor by herself. She complimented my shoes and was slurring every second word. I told her the shoes were from Nordstrom’s on sale, as a joke, and turned away from her.

A man was standing nearby and lifted his shoe up and said, “What about mine?” To which people chuckled. I thought he was just going for a joke, but he kept watching her. Once we got to a stop and it was called over the intercom, she got up to leave. The man looked left, then right, and then got off train with her. I practice social work and have worked in victim’s advocacy for some time.

This was every bad vibe I needed. I said “Oh heck no” and got off at this stop—way ahead of my actual stop. My sister-in-law pushed my brother on to the platform and they both followed me, unsure as to why I left the train. The man was 20 feet ahead with his arm around this woman as she stumbled along the platform. I walked up and said, “I just have to let you know, you are acting exactly like a predator and are giving off a lot of red flags.”

He went on to explain his innocence, that he has a daughter her age, and that, and I quote, “I wish someone would be this protective of my daughter.” We separated the two of them. My sister-in-law was walking with the woman and supporting her, stopping her from falling. My brother and I kindly escorted the weird man away.

When we met back up, the woman had flagged down a driver in the parking lot that she said was her boyfriend. She got in the car and rode off. I am pretty certain we prevented a sexual assault that day.

ComputerIrish

19. Cat Got Your Tongue?

Was out wading with my cast net to catch some mullet for fishing. As I was out, there a group of Bobcats had congregated around my bucket of bait as some jumped out, and they were eating them. I stayed out there for a good hour and they knocked over my bucket and ate all the mullet I already caught.

DRUNKxxLAHEY

20. We’ve Got Creepy Company

When I was in Mexico, I was staying on a decent-sized resort with a good amount of wildlife. When we first arrived, an employee warned us about the possibly aggressive wildlife (spider monkeys, lizards, fish, etc.) on the trails and in the waters. These trails had cenotes, gardens, historical pieces, and a bunch of other cool stuff. I wanted to see a “pre-Hispanic oven” offered as a “historical piece,” so I walk down a dirt road in the furthest corner of the resort to see this oven.

On my way out, at LEAST 30 of these freaking lizards were lined up making all sorts of sounds at me, with their necks all flared up and stuff. Also, at the resort they told us to stay on the trails, because of other potentially dangerous wildlife. But I was cornered by 30 of these freaking things in nothing but wet shorts and sandals. How do you prepare someone for a situation like that?

I said screw the trails, and I ran through those woods faster than I have ever ran before.

Skiddds

21. Nobody’s Home

I was watching TV, sitting on my couch, when I saw the silhouettes of three men, one with a gun drawn, walking up to my door. They knocked on my door. I didn’t respond and sat there with my crummy little shotgun.  They started knocking loudly, I guess to make sure if anyone was home? Then they started to pry open the door with a crowbar.

I called the police, but by the time they arrived, the dudes were gone. The men who were trying to break in were standing next to a broken window the entire time. Not quite sure what those guys wanted from me.

Sean5025

22. Quit Bugging Me

I was around eight on vacation at a beach. Me and my brother were having a lot of fun, but near sunset my dad just yells at us to get out of the water and run for the little apartment we were staying at. We asked him why and he just said one thing: “HORSEFLIES!” Cut to one minute later. where all of us are just running as fast as we could dodging these giant evil bug pieces of trash while they just made huge buzzing sounds and tried to rip our flesh off.

My little eight-year-old brain probably made it extra dramatic, but DAMN those things are terrifying.

Dralimonus

23. Making Do and Do-Do

I lived in an old Saddam bunker while in Iraq. We were using it as a patrol base. The lowest level had almost completely filled with water. About 20 feet from the landing was a camp toilet we installed, so we wouldn’t have to put on body armor to go to the bathroom. Well, it’s about three in the morning, I’m half asleep because I had to answer nature’s call and use this stupid toilet.

My flashlight died while I was in there, and I could hear water dripping from the ceiling of that flooded floor. I know now there wasn’t anything to worry about, and I KNEW I needed to change the damn batteries, but at that moment I was scared and that became of the fastest bathroom breaks I’ve ever had.

mhatherley

24. The Final Note

The guitar hanging on my wall plucked a note at 2 am on Halloween morning. My grandpa passed away an hour before.

AverageSizeWayne

25. The Prince with a Past…

I got involved with someone who turned out to have a history of domestic violence. When he told me about it, he said his ex knew how to push his buttons, and he smacked her after a bad day at work. Later, he said he tried committing suicide, because he didn’t want to be like his super abusive father. Then he told me how the relationship ended: she eventually left with a moving truck while he was at work.

He called her a c-word for it and tried to sue her for some stuff she supposedly took, plus for her half of unpaid rent due for bailing on their lease. He never hit me, but things got emotionally abusive to the point I don’t use the term gaslighting as lightly anymore, since he did it often enough that I was beginning to question my own sanity.

I blocked his phone and got in touch with his ex. Basically asked her how she managed to get away from him and keep it that way. We chatted a bit. It turns out she filed two police reports: one when he hit her, and another for fear on attempts on her life because he was planning to kill her. She said nothing about his suicide attempt, which, going by what he told me, they were still living together during.

After we chatted, I had a dental appointment I needed to go to. The news on the waiting room’s TV was reporting on how often victims of domestic violence are murdered by their abuser. Unfortunately, the guy knows where I live and work. I’ve thought about getting a restraining order, but it might get him fired if it’s granted. In that case, he might think I’m the reason why he was fired, depending on what he’s told. Which could make things a lot worse.

CthulhuAid

26. Close Enough to Rut

I went to get one of my pals to study for an exam. I saw him hooking up with his stepsister in something like a fur suit. I haven’t told him yet that I saw them.

11095

27. Cold Comfort

I used to live in a kind of rough neighborhood. I went walking down the Dollar General near where I lived and saw a guy approaching the store wearing a ski mask. I immediately noped and started walking the other direction. It was then that I realized it was January and below freezing out. I might be a coward.

SharkGenie

28. He Gave You a Warning

Hard to top the stories from people who’ve been in the Armed Forces, but here it goes. I went to a university in a not-so-nice area of my city. My senior year, I lived off campus by a few blocks close to the edge of what most students considered the “safe zone.” So one night, I’m walking to the other end of campus to grab drinks with friends and when I reach the end of my block, a guy riding a bike with one hand, drinking a Four Loko, comes riding by saying, “Get off the block someone’s about to get shot.”

I said “thanks” and booked it about 30 seconds before the shooting started. Didn’t stop until I was on the other side of campus. If a guy tells you someone’s gonna get shot, start running.

swheels125

29. Son of the Slaughterhouse

There was this guy called “The Butcher” on my street growing up. They called him that ‘cause he was a butcher. His family had at least a screw loose though. I was semi-friends with his oldest kid. On Halloween I go up to his house, I was like 11 or 12. They had these large spear looking things up on each post of their little wood fence that ran up the side of the driveway.

On the top of each spear was what looked like pig and cow heads, with blood dripping down the spikes. I got up there, said, “Hey man, those things look so real,” to the son. And he responded, “They are. Wanna come in the garage and I’ll show you all the other cool dead stuff we got?” I never trick or treated there again.

I’m glad it was the kid who said it though, if the big creepy dad had I probably could have cried or soiled myself right there.

billbapapa

30. The Monster Is Inside the House

My mom has a terrifying story: every night as a kid, it looked like the silhouette of a head was looking in her bedroom window. It happened every night, so she decided it must be a trick of the eye. It would usually just creep her out. One night she was just watching this head shaped thing and grew tired of not knowing what it was.

So as quickly as she could she jumped up to run across the room to turn on the light. A second before she reached the lights the silhouette moved and ran away, and it never happened again. To make it more terrifying, it was probably her creepy step-dad.

plant_babies

31. Jump for Joy

The time I lifted a burlap sack with the tip of my rifle and found an IED underneath. We had apparently interrupted the emplacement, so it didn’t go off. The boys in the truck said they didn’t know white guys could jump that high.

cdragen

32. I Won’t Stand for Backdoor Shenanigans

Someone was giving away a free mini-fridge on Craigslist. I drove there. It was deep in heavy woods; no one else around. I was already nervous, but I pulled up and saw a hand close the curtains, and there was a sign that said go around back with an arrow. I noped the heck out. Don’t need a used mini fridge that bad.

memeromemes

33. Unfriendly Advances

I was on a road trip with my twin brother, my dad, and a friend of my dad’s, who we’ll call Dick. We stayed with a family friend, who I’ll call Kay, for a couple nights. Dick’s a funny guy with good stories, so my twin and I were talking to him the whole time we were driving to Kay’s house. When we got there, Dad and Kay went downstairs to the den to watch TV, my brother used the restroom, and that left Dick and I alone in the hallway together.

Dick slammed me against the wall, pinned me by my shoulder, touched my face, kissed me, and started grinding on me. He said he knew there was “chemistry between us,” and he could tell that I wanted him. OH. HECK. NO. I was a 17-year-old girl. He was my dad’s age. I just wanted to not be bored during a road trip! I spent the rest of the time clinging to my brother.

I didn’t tell anyone until about 15 years later. I didn’t want to cause trouble. I thought maybe I was being too forward, and maybe I deserved it.

insertcaffeine

34. It’s a Longshot

A buddy and I worked at a stereo shop when we were younger. Our boss was a shady jerk. I had worked on a car for one of our local big ballers. We had to push back the car for other work, and I told my boss what needed to be done. Well he didn’t relay that info, and the car broke down right in front of a big club the next night. Big baller came back super-heated, and my boss tried to deny any wrongdoing.

A big argument ensued. I was working under the dash of a car, and my buddy comes up and says, “We gotta go.” I was like, “I’m busy man, what’s up?” He says “We gotta go, NOW!” and pulls me out of the car. I look up and see big baller with a gun up against my boss’s head. We were both like “later” and left.

Racefiend

35. Surrender to the Winds of Fate

I was being an idiot and getting drunk/smoking on our porch during a hurricane. We watched a transformer blow up. and I immediately said “Hmm. Maybe we should go inside,” and we did. We were without power for six days after that. Seeing/hearing it blow was cool in hindsight, but it was pretty terrifying seeing the trees swaying/breaking in the high wind.

acenarteco

36. Hands Off! All Eight of Them!

I lifted a rock in Honduras to make room for a downspout. A hand-sized tarantula crawled out; I heard a girl scream and realized it was me! The spider didn’t move, and I still had to finish the job. I beaned it with a pebble, and you could hear it loudly skitter away in the gravel. Yuck.

WokeUp2

37. A Change in Your Morning Dental Routine

When I was 10 or so, I woke up before everyone in the house (it was like 7 am) and decided I would sneak into the pool. I was waist deep in the water before I saw the alligator on the other side of the pool.

discourse_commuter

38. Carry Capacity is No Joke

I stepped into an elevator on the eighth floor of a hotel and hit the 10th-floor button. Right before the doors closed, a group of at least 15 people jammed themselves in while I’m standing in the back corner. The elevator was rated for 10 adults. Instead of going up, the elevator slowly started to go down. I can’t imagine what my face must have looked like at that moment.

After half a floor, the elevator went into free fall for roughly two floors until the emergency cable caught. I thought I was going to die that day.

M00SEKNUCKL

39. Go Back Up the Waterspout

I worked at a coffee shop and one of the baristas was cleaning the bathroom. All of a sudden, I heard her scream. She comes to get me, saying I need to take care of a weird looking spider. I love bugs and get kind of excited to catch and release the “weird-looking” spider outside. Walk into the bathroom and it’s not a spider—it’s a freaking scorpion.

Garfunk_elle

40. No Rest in the Restroom

I was around 11-12, in a public restroom that had a couple stalls. Just sat down to start my piddle when the woman in the next stall asked if I could pass her some toilet paper. Sure, no problem—we’ve all been there! When I pass it under the divider, she ended up stroking my finger as she’s taking the paper, her index finger lingering on me. I didn’t think anything of it, it’s an awkward pass.

I finish up, flush and step out of the stall to go wash my hands. As I’m starting scrubbing, she steps out of her stall. Normal looking 40ish woman, just looks like someone’s mom. She starts washing her hands and just locks eyes with me in the mirror. It was only about three seconds in total, but I remember how her smile subtly went from generic to something a little darker.

It was hard to explain, but I felt like she wanted to eat me. Every possible spot of skin that could get goose-bumped stood to attention. Instinct told me to get out of that bathroom, so I bolted. Could have been nothing, could have been a childish dramatic projection, but I swear that lady was going to chew on me.

Brass_and_Frass

41. The Road is No Place for a Gentleman

I work for a food delivery service and on one delivery, I had to go about two miles down a one-way road at about 10:30 pm. There were banks on both sides, so if I wanted to leave and another car came down the road; I wouldn’t be able to get out and would have to reverse back to a driveway. Houses around were pretty scattered and everyone’s driveways were at least 100 yards from the houses.

I took notice of this driving in, because I’m a woman and I definitely had my guard up. I get to the address, which is an abandoned home with no lights, and the driveway is blocked off with boards. Ugh. Immediately the hair on the back of my neck stood up. It was a dead-end and the nearest house was about 700-800 yards away.

I parked and locked my doors and called the customer and they said they were in the trailer across the street and they would come out to meet me. There was no trailer across the street at all, but this dude came off of a dirt trail and started walking up to my car. As they were coming towards me the guy asked if I could wait about five minutes for his friend to come back with a tip for me (the bill was already paid).

I politely declined, saying that I had to go back to work. I didn’t say anything but I was so scared. He then got a phone call and his literal words were, “Yeah bro, can we make this happen? Are you on the road or what?” I put the food on the ground said goodbye and booked it out of there so quick you could probably see dust behind me.

That incident taught me to always trust my gut and to never worry about the tip. I could have just been extremely paranoid, but I feel like I got lucky that time.

916

42. Medical Advice from the Patients

I did community service at the local hospital. One of my duties was to deliver the food menus to EVERY patient early in the morning, so that meant starting my rounds around 5-6am. The first floor was ICU and it was still fairly dark around that time. I walked into a patient’s room and all the blinds were shut and the only light that lit the room came from the equipment she was hooked up to.

I wasn’t sure if she was awake or not, and so I quietly announced myself and waited for a response. Sometimes patients were unable to make meal choices and so I would stick around to help them out. I stood there for a couple seconds and saw her eyes closed shut. Thinking she was still asleep, I made my way towards the door.

Halfway through, with my back towards her, I hear her say, “Make sure they don’t follow you out.” I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around and saw that her eyes were still closed and quickly ran the heck out of there.

PM_me_hot_kisses

Sources: 1, 2


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