Everyone wants to find “the one”—who doesn’t dream of finding true love?
Unfortunately, merely wanting something doesn’t make it so—as many people have learned the hard way. Time and time again, hopeful lovebirds put everything they’ve got into a relationship only for it not to work out. At the same time, there are some unlucky people who find out that it isn’t working in, shall we say, less than ideal ways.
Here are 20 stories people shared about the crazy moments that got them to realize their partner was not “the one”.
20. Getting Your Priorities in Order
He had a kid that lived in another state that he only saw a few times a year.
On 4/20 one year, he decided to stay for our city’s 4/20 festival instead of going home for his child’s birthday. Quote—”Little Man will understand. It’s 2 Chainz.”
Didn’t stay with him much longer after that.
If he doesn’t take care of his son…
19. A Less Than Perfect Union
I would sit in my truck at the convenience store up the street, at first just to run in and grab a Coke, eventually, I was there for hours just stressing about the nightmare I was going home to.
18. ‘Nuff Said
I stopped drinking and realized how effed up everything was.
17. Lacking Some Empathy
When my best friend passed away, 2 days later I decided to finally step outside the house. Went to spend time with my girlfriend and a friend. When her and I were alone, she turns around in the car and says these exact words: “You shouldn’t be sad, you’re out with us right now. You’re bringing the mood down.” That night I decided to end things. She then played the victim card and pretends nothing happened between us. This was just last summer. I’m a lot happier now.
16. Only One of Us Here Matters, Clearly
When I told him I had just found out my mom was leaving my dad for someone else, and he started complaining about his day at work.
15. Lies, Lies, and More Lies
When she told me she needed a few weeks to herself to “figure things out.” What she was actually doing was planning her wedding to a guy she met at work.
14. That Pretty Much Settles It
When she’s like, “Sooooo…. turns out I like girls instead.” Well, no need to drag that one out any longer.
13. A Sign of Things to Come
When I overheard her conversation with her coworker wherein they were talking about her co-worker’s desire for children while her husband wanted to wait. My ex gave the advice, “If I were in your shoes, I’d just stop taking my birth control and not tell him.” I got the hell out of dodge fast!
12. Sometimes, You Really Are Better Off Alone
When he left. I was in an abusive relationship and didn’t know it, my mom supported him. He plays the victim to everyone now saying I was abusive. He would pour drinks on my head when I made him mad or he would slap me, along with more.
11. A Reason to Be Steaming Mad
Not me but my best friend. She was in a long distance relationship for a few years. They played a lot of Steam games together. At one point, she gave him her card info so he could buy himself a game on Christmas, on the condition that he would delete the card info after.
He did not delete the payment info, and his computer got hacked. She got a few large charges and reported it to her bank. Then she noticed smaller charges on her bank statement here and there from the past few months, all from Steam. Her boyfriend assured her it wasn’t him, so she reported those charges as well.
What do you know—all of a sudden he got a vac ban from Steam for fraudulent charges. He starts claiming she had given him her card info again for a different purchase, and that she just forgot. He really wants the vac ban lifted because he plays a lot of Dota, and can’t play multiplayer with the vac ban.
And it gets worse. A few days later, her grandfather gets very sick very quickly. They were close, so she’s obviously devastated. She went to visit him in the hospital, and mid-conversation, he had a massive stroke. She and her family were basically shoved out of the room so the doctors could work. A doctor tells them he may be brain dead, but they have to wait and see.
My friend is distraught and calls her boyfriend while waiting. She explains what happens. This jerk says, “That really sucks. Also can you make sure to call your bank so we can get that vac ban lifted?”
She hung up on him and didn’t speak to him again for a year.
10. The Truth Doesn’t Come Out
When we were having the “Should we stay together and work it out or go our separate ways?” discussion and he said he didn’t want me to go. I asked him why.
His answer was a full minute of silence staring at the table, completely at a loss for what to say. He couldn’t come up with any reason why he wanted me to stay.
That silence said more than a million words ever could.
9. Truly Insensitive
When she made jokes about me “faking” my depression. My dad has severe depression (he gets help and takes meds for it) and his brother had it until he killed himself.
8. Running Late
He didn’t turn up to my brother’s deathbed when he said he would. His exact words were ‘I’ll get a shower and be there soon.” He then ignored my phone calls for hours and didn’t show up. He didn’t go to his wake or funeral, the very least he could have done. This was after eight years together and now even the worst day of my family’s life has been tainted in my head by a selfish pig of a man.
7. Can’t Get Much Worse
When he made fun of me for a failed suicide attempt to the girl he had a “love child” with—during our marriage—after 10 years of being gaslighted and abused. There’s more, but I really don’t care to relive any of it. I recently got remarried to my best friend.
6. That’s Never a Good Sign…
When she came home from work one day and the first thing that popped into my mind was “Well, there went my day.” Just a normal day, no fight the night before, no stress, just my subconscious finally making himself heard.
5. Taking Some Initiative
The biggest moment I remember is the night of my sorority initiation ceremony. I didn’t have my phone for a few hours and in response to him not being able to get a hold of me he went and got two sleeve tattoos. They were done in his friend’s basement and they looked like it too.
4. Taking Things to the Next Level
When my mom called me and said that I needed to come to the house (30 minutes away) because she didn’t know how much longer my grandfather was going to make it. She insisted that I let my girlfriend at the time drive me because she didn’t want me driving upset, as I was very close with my pawpaw. Girlfriend agreed… I threw on some shoes and was ready to go. Girlfriend proceeded to get in the shower. And then blow dry and straighten her hair. And then do her makeup.
My mother called when we were 15 minutes away and told me that he’d passed. Had we left when we were supposed to, I would’ve gotten to say goodbye.
3. Money is No Object
One of my exes was a stickler about money to the point it felt petty. Every time we went out to eat, even after dating for two years, he would flag down the waiter and say, “We need the check split in half. Evenly.” If we would spend $5 at the grocery store buying spaghetti and sauce, he would ask me to pay half.
Anyway, my 17-year-old cat was dying, and I was heartbroken. The day I said goodbye to her, my ex—then boyfriend—took me out for ice cream. We shared a $5 sundae at Dairy Queen. He paid! I was so happy and touched by the small gesture during the worst day of my life. But then in the car afterward, he asked me if we should “settle up now or… because, I mean… the sundae was $4.95 and I don’t think you gave me any money for it,” and I lost it. I threw a $20 at him and cried.
Listen, I don’t expect men to foot the bill all the time, and I definitely like to be fair, but buying your long-term girlfriend a $5 sundae when she’s absolutely distraught is not unreasonable.
This was 8 years ago, and I’m since engaged to a wonderful and generous man! We share money wonderfully and I think I’m even more appreciative of him because of this particular ex.
2. Was That Really Appropriate?
I was living on the West Coast and her birthday was coming up the next weekend. The call came on Wednesday that Grandma was in the hospital and had 24 to 72 hours to live at best. I immediately called work and let them know I will be out Thursday and Friday and maybe some days next week. Bought a one-way plane ticket and called my girlfriend who seemed understanding.
I get back to the Midwest and got to the hospital in time to see my grandma, she died that night. I was asked to write the eulogy. Checked in with my girlfriend and she asked if our plans for her birthday were going to be affected. Erm, yes honey, the funeral isn’t until Monday. I’ll be back on Tuesday. She hung up on me.
She picked me up from the airport and didn’t even get out of the car to embrace me. The drive home felt like ice water was in my veins. I was so in love and was writing off the red flags.
Two weeks later, it was my birthday. I knew things were on the outs and was preparing to break up but she invited me out for my birthday dinner. I show up at our favorite place and wait 45 minutes at the bar for her to arrive. She texted me a picture of her and her girlfriends out at a concert asking how I liked being ditched on my birthday.
Tears streaming down my cheeks on the car ride home I calmly packed up her stuff, let myself into her place with my key and left her belongings on the floor along with the key on top and locked the door behind me on the way out. Blocked her number on my phone and social media. And changed the locks the next day at my place. The next weekend I am watching TV and it’s late. She tries the door and I hear her key trying to work the lock. She’s sobbing outside my place, I just poured a stiff bourbon and turned up the volume on the TV until she left.
What a waste of a year. Looking back, I can’t imagine how I put up with her selfish antics that long, life is too short to deal with people like that.
1. Breaking the Golden Rule
When I stopped by her house on the way to work to drop off flowers on her doorstep as a surprise and saw my “friend’s” car parked out front. This was at 5 in the morning. My “friend” was married with a pregnant wife at the time.