Horrific Houseguests

Having guests can be great—but it’s only as good as the person you invite into your home. These people made the horrible mistake of not doing background checks on their houseguests—and, well, their stories speak for themselves. Prepare to hear about the worst houseguests in history.


1. At Any Cost

My brother-in-law lived with us for a while so we could help him out. He lived rent-free for almost a year and then gave us a small amount for rent thereafter. While he was with us, he rearranged everything in our kitchen without asking, unscrewed the garage security light, stained our carpet and our walls with motor oil, printer ink, and something that bleached the carpet.

He purchased and disassembled large electronics and left the pieces he didn’t want scattered throughout the garage. He seemed put out when I asked him to clean it up. He would be late on paying the rent we asked for, and then would return home with the random things he’d purchased that day, and would even sometimes have the gall to show me what he’d bought.

He would leave the garage lights on and deny that he’d done so. He made me pay him to leave because he knew that we couldn’t evict him. Then, on the day he agreed to leave, he dug in his heels and demanded even more money to get out. He seemed surprised that I wasn’t pleasant with him after the fact. It was worth every penny. Good riddance, and never again.

minnesotarox

Rude guestsShutterstock

2. Trying to Trap a Pest

I was living in Eugene, Oregon at the time, and a “good friend” of mine asked me if it was ok if his girlfriend crashed on my couch for a couple of days. She was coming down from Portland to visit him and didn’t have the money for a hotel. He was still living at home so that was out of the question. I said sure, no problem, she’s welcome to stay. Huge mistake.

A few days after she arrived, he broke up with her, and she wouldn’t leave. She ate all my food, used my electricity, and was an all-around massive jerk. I’m normally a pretty mellow person, but I got so mad at her one day that I accidentally broke my bathroom window just by slamming the bathroom door to get away from her.

It didn’t help that my roommate was in love with her and kept begging me to let her stay. I finally just had enough one day and went off on my “good friend” about how she was his problem, and he needed to solve it. He found out she had a warrant for her in Portland, so he arranged to meet her downtown so that they could “get back together and move by bus to California.”

He tipped off one of the downtown security people back when Eugene still had the huge walking mall letting them know that she had a bunch of illicit substances on her, and a warrant for her. They nabbed her, and she called me to beg me to bail her out. I laughed and hung up the phone on her. I never heard from her again either.

shemp5150

3. Social Media Snobs

My brother brought a few friends over after a party. We weren’t prepared for guests but rushed to clean up before everyone came. We told my brother to make sure everyone stayed downstairs and used the downstairs bathroom since the upstairs one was cluttered. While the party was going on, I went to use the bathroom upstairs and the door was locked.

I banged on the door and out popped two girls with suspicious looks on their faces. I went inside and my jaw dropped. EVERYTHING was open: the closet, the shower, the cabinet. They were just rifling through our stuff. It turns out they were recording and taking photos of themselves reacting to different products and our shower in a very mean girl way.

We had just moved in and hadn’t yet redone the bathroom. The home previously belonged to an elderly couple who hadn’t updated it since the 60s. We live in a high-income town and these girls came from much wealthier homes than ours. They took pictures and videos basically mocking our house and products after we graciously let them into our home. It was beyond violating and disrespectful.

ohsnapihaveocd

4. Party Pukers

I hosted a party once and my friends came over, but two had already had several drinks each. No one told me, and they were acting really sober. Later, I found out what was really going on. They were having a competition. They continued to drink through the night and a couple of my more straight-laced friends were leaving. I showed those guys out, and when I came back downstairs I watched one of the tipsy friends just fall out of her chair.

The rest of the night was spent monitoring her to see if we should call an ambulance. Another person puked all over my bathroom, literally everywhere but the toilet, and passed out on the couch where another friend just held a spitbucket for him for about three hours. We pulled the heavily intoxicated friend outside where she barfed about 10 times. It was awful. I was mad but just glad they were okay and thankful for all the help my not passed-out friends were.

Afireonthesnow

5. Left Unattended

A relatively new friend of my partner’s came over because she and her husband were fighting. Before she arrived, we had colored our hair and left her alone to watch TV while we rinsed our hair. When we were done, she and my partner went onto the patio to talk. Fast forward 45 minutes later, her speech got weird, and she started falling asleep. The realization only hit us later. 

Right after we called an ambulance, we found out that she’d taken an entire bottle of my son’s medication.

karriejan

6. King of the Dumps

I seem to rate guests by how much they damage my toilet. When I was a kid, my childhood friend David came around for dinner. I don’t think he even ate the lovely meal my mum prepared for him. He just went and sat on the toilet for like four hours and left the worst stink imaginable. David was my worst houseguest ever…until years later when Derek stayed.

Well, when Derek stayed, we’d get woken up each morning really early by him wandering around the house. He would’ve been getting a few “early” drinks in. Then the inevitable sound of violent diarrhea hitting a toilet would echo through the house every morning. The smell still haunts me.

Maccas75

7. A Big Jump

In college, we lived in a brand-new apartment complex that was nicer than any apartment I’ll live in my entire life. There was a legit hot tub in there. Once, we threw a big party for a bunch of athletes as my roommate was on our football team, and things got out of hand quickly. There were people banging in our laundry room, girls dancing on top of our refrigerator, people hanging from our kitchen lights, etc. Well, eventually, Pitbull’s “Don’t Stop the Party” song came on, and all the massive football players started jumping in unison.

Suddenly, I heard a blood-curdling noise. I ran into our living room, which was the dance floor. The floor broke. The football players broke about six studs in the floor, which caused the floor to sink about five inches. Everybody decided to scatter and that’s when we noticed the missing hanging light in our kitchen, two missing doorknobs, and our broken coffee table.

My roommates and I had to pay $5,600 to fix the damages. None of the guests donated any money to fix anything.

tmac1197

8. Bedspread of Issues

I wasn’t there for this, but I will relate it through what my then-roommate told me. In the summer of 2011, I went to Europe to study abroad for the summer. My rent was already paid, so I told my friend he could stay in my room for free until I got back. All he had to do was help my roommate with utilities. Since I would be gone for two months, this was a pretty good deal. My roommate knew him, and they got along fine, so I didn’t see a problem.

At the end of the summer, I finally landed stateside, and my roommate called me to tell me the story of what had happened with Jason, the guy who was staying in my room. Jason’s fiancée was in the Peace Corps, and she was stationed in a village in Burkina Faso. Jason had visited her at the beginning of the summer before he moved into my place.

However, somehow, he neglected to get all his shots, and he came back to the US and my apartment with a pretty serious case of Hepatitis B. He ignored it for weeks, apparently, until the mother of my roommate’s friend, this friend was yet another person who was crashing at our place for the summer in our crowded apartment, who was an EMT noticed that he had taken on the complexion of a Simpson’s character. She basically forced him to go to the hospital and get treated. But it didn’t end there.

According to my roommate, the CDC contacted both her and the other person staying in our apartment and told them they had to get vaccinated before they could go back to work. My roommate was working with children at the time, so she missed an entire week of work. What’s worse, neither my roommate nor the other guy had a car and Jason did.

When politely asked if maybe Jason could drive the two of them to get their Hep B vaccine, Jason flat out refused, telling them it wasn’t his problem. So, they spent an entire afternoon navigating bus routes while potentially carrying Hep B in order to get their vaccines. If that weren’t enough, Jason had apparently been sweating up a storm in the Maryland summer and sleeping on my bed without sheets. He also had not cleaned my bathroom all summer.

Hep B is transmitted through bodily fluids, and he left my bathroom covered in his germs. I got all this news after a nine-hour flight from London, and I couldn’t do anything except sit in the terminal at O’Hare and cry. That was the end of our friendship.

RobotSnack

9. Not in This House

I lived at home for most of college and my sophomore year. My brother who was in the Marines and stationed in Okinawa called to ask if his fiancé could come live with us until he got home in nine months. We didn’t know he was engaged. For some inexplicable reason, my parents agreed. She moved into the spare room, and she seemed really sweet at first. And then it started to become clear that she was a pathological liar and a thief.

She lied about our dog getting grabbed from the yard and taken away. The dog had just gotten out of the fence and wandered into the neighbor’s yard and made friends with their beagle. And then she went out and adopted a dog without warning anyone. My family, being dog lovers, couldn’t bear to kick it out. Of course, she never trained her dog, which proceeded to pee all over the rug in her room so it had to be replaced. The dog also started to get nasty and snap at people because she never corrected him when he did.

The last straw, which led to forcibly moving her belongings out to the curb and locking the doors, was when she took my parent’s checkbooks and tried to write checks at the gas station down the street. Fortunately, I worked at that gas station, and the manager knew my family and thus knew it was a forgery. He called law enforcement and had her detained, and then called me to give me a heads up.

We called her cell and left a voicemail telling her she was out and moved her stuff outside. Since the dog had never seen a vet or been neutered, I decided it was in his best interest to find a new home and took him to the SPCA. She never went looking for him.

BearyPotter

10. Keeping It Cool

My brother-in-law is a great guy, and I love him but my gosh, he is a diva. He is on the larger side of the spectrum, and we currently live in Florida where it gets pretty hot and muggy. Being a college student taking seven classes, I don’t have much money. So, we try to keep the air around 75, never lower. Well, since he was coming, I decided to tell him that if he wanted to lower the air a bit, he could but to keep it above 72.

I woke up freezing all three nights in a row because he would get up once we fell asleep and turn our air down to 65. If I left for class, he would do it again. Every time. Finally, I had my wife confront him because I thought it would be easier coming from his sister and tell him he could use a fan to cool down. He proceeded to tell her she was dumb and that a fan used just as much electricity as the air did cooling the entire apartment. We won’t be hosting him for a while.

xxbearillaxx

11. Dialed Into Debt

I was going to be gone half the summer, so I let a guy stay in my house for a month while he was in summer school. He was an excellent houseguest, other than he would call those racy 1-900 phone lines when he had been drinking. He even told me that they were going to be these phone bills coming and that he would pay for it.

However, we had no idea that it was going to be almost $1,000 in charges. The bill was 100 pages long. Each of the 1-900 numbers he called operated as individual little telephone companies that generated a separate bill for their services. So, there were about 50 separate bills printed that were bundled together by my local provider.

If I didn’t pay the bill, my service was going to be cut off. Luckily, I was able to get some of the bills canceled or reduced. My houseguest coughed up $500 and gave me a CD player, a PlayStation, and a TV as payment.

MakesCakesEatsMud

12. Nowhere To Hide

When my husband and I first dated, I would usually hang out at his house because there were significantly fewer people around. I grew up with four sisters, shared a bedroom, and their friends were over a lot, so I enjoyed the privacy I got at his house. One day his mother told me to make sure the back door was locked, blinds drawn, and not to let the dogs out in the backyard.

She told me she didn’t want her next-door neighbor to know she was home. I thought it was weird—but I quickly found out why. This neighbor was a single dad who had two children—a tween and a child. The younger of these children was non-verbal and completely silent. The neighbor worked from home but on a couple of occasions had asked my mother-in-law if she could babysit, to which she reluctantly agreed.

The father would let himself into her house to pick the child up without knocking and then hang out, wanting to talk for hours about himself, while they want to have dinner. The child soon took a real liking to my mother-in-law and started just coming into the house. They would both let themselves in and make themselves at home at her house.

Not only that, but the father actively encouraged it and thought that bonding with an adult mother figure was nice for the child to have. There would be times my mother-in-law was sleeping in her sheer nightgown and would wake up and have this small child standing over her. It scared the daylights out of her and my husband as well. They would come home and the child would be in the house waiting, having snuck in through the back door that was unlocked.

When they started locking the door, the child and father would sit on the porch and wait. Anytime he would see that anyone was home, he would just send his child over. The child didn’t speak, so you couldn’t sit down with them and explain how you can’t just walk into someone’s house—how it’s dangerous and not appropriate.

The child needed constant supervision for their age. So my mother-in-law had a discussion with the father and told him that she was too busy and could not be babysitting his child all the time and they couldn’t just show up unannounced. He said, “No problem. I’m sure your son and his girlfriend won’t mind babysitting.” My mother said she would ask. Of course, we said no.

She caved for a while and continued babysitting until she couldn’t take it anymore. The guy never let up. So, my mother-in-law and my husband lived like The Klopeks—car in the garage, window curtains or blinds closed, lights off, doors all locked, little movement. But even that couldn’t end their ordeal. The child would still come and try to get in through the doors and ring the doorbell over and over and over knowing they were inside.

She would eventually open the door, take the child back home and firmly explain to the father again that she can’t be babysitting. He would do the whole fake apology thing and say it wouldn’t happen again. Rinse and repeat. She started only going in her yard when she would see his car gone or his lights off. The houses were so close together she could never really hide from them. It was really nerve-racking and bizarre.

When she finally sold that house, it was a weight lifted off her shoulders. However, the guy tracked her down after she moved and remarried asking if she was still up for babysitting. She just blocked his calls. She still acts like a hermit now. Once someone came to her door unannounced and kept ringing the bell over and over.

She took the pan of bacon she was cooking off the stove and hid in her room with it. I wish I was joking.

ViciousFlowers

13. Two Week Takeover

My dad’s best friend and his family stayed with us for two weeks one summer. I was nine years old and my sister was a two-week-old newborn when they arrived. The wife kept putting my sister onto her stomach while she slept when no one was looking. When my mom finally caught her and told her to stop, because of the risk, she replied, “I did it with all my kids and they turned out fine,” and continued doing it. But that was just the start of the nightmare.

The wife would also only cook sausages and mashed potatoes for dinner. She would get angry at my mom when she cooked something different. She also heavily restricted anyone in the kitchen. I had to ask permission to get a cup of water or eat a biscuit from the pantry in my own house. Her husband would also dictate what activities we were allowed to do and when.

whichrhiannonami

14. They Caused A Full Metal Racket

We had friends who were house-sitting for us. When we returned home, they had rearranged almost all the furniture. Most of it was just moving things back but they pushed an old teacher’s desk we had down into the basement. It was one of those huge metal monstrosities that weighed a ton.

There was no way to get it back up the stairs without some type of machine that I couldn’t afford. So, that thing stayed in the basement and was sold with the home. They also damaged a recliner so it didn’t recline anymore and claimed they didn’t.

Billbapoker

15. He Was A Doggone Nightmare

I had a friend who came to stay with me. As he was moving in, he said, ”By the way, I have a dog. I hope that’s fine,” as his dog ran into my house and jumped on my couch. He never once cleaned up the dog’s poop from the backyard. Then, he sat right next to me on the couch when my husband was at work and asked me to restart what I was watching from the beginning so he could join.

He also complained that I was using the second bedroom for my office when the last friend who stayed with us, and paid rent, had it as their room. His stay was cut short.

Trala_la_la

16. Thanks But No Thanks

I reconnected with a friend who was moving back to town. There was a live outdoor music event going on that evening and I invited her over before my friends and I went to the event. She asked if I could pick her up. Once she was at my house, we were all having a few drinks, and she disappears. I find her in the kitchen, and my jaw dropped.

She literally has EVERYTHING out of my fridge and is cooking. When I say everything: I had just gone to the store and gotten fresh veggies, chicken, ground beef. I was stocked up for a week or two. I ask her what she’s doing, and she tells me that she’s been a chef at some fancy restaurant for a while and wants to cook dinner for everyone.

First off: What the heck?? But although I’m annoyed, the food is already being cooked so I might as well get a meal out of it than get in a fight. Well, cue a few moments later when she gashes her finger open with a knife. Blood everywhere, including all over the food on the stove. Once I get her finger wrapped up, she asks me (and I quote): “Do you have a sewing kit? I’ll fix this right up.”

No is the obvious answer to that. I notice that she has gotten some blood on her dress and mention that to her. She asks me to take her home so she can change before we leave. Immediate “yes.” (I’m hoping I can ditch her there). As I’m driving her across town, she calls her mom and chews the poor woman out. Yelling at her to get a bucket of water and baking soda ready to soak the dress.

We finally get to her house and she could sense what I was thinking. She asks if I’d wait for her to change and she’d only be a moment. The second she shuts the door to my truck, I pull off. It escalated so fast. Seeing me do it, she then jumps on my hood and starts screaming about the two tallboy Bud Lights that she left at my house and that I’m a thief.

I finally get her off the hood of the truck and simply tell her she’s not invited, she destroyed ALL my food for over a week, and I never wanted to talk to her again. By the way: The food she was cooking looked and smelled terrible. She was not a chef, and she was not a good cook. I ended up cleaning up when I got home and whatever she was making was going to be uneatable, just a cross mix of chicken, beef, and every spice from my cupboard.

Think of a 10-year-kid unattended in the kitchen “making dinner.”

29CFR1910

17. This Is A Meet-Cute, Right?

I lived in a two-unit house, and we were the back unit that connected to a shared garage. The garage was used for nothing other than laundry and storage, and a previous tenant had left a mattress in it that no one ever bothered to move. One day I, a 20-year-old-woman, go into the garage and nearly jump out of my skin upon seeing some man sleeping on the mattress.

I freak out and flee back to my unit just in time for two of my male housemates to come home. They go to confront the guy and come back to tell me that he was friends with our other male housemate, and said housemate told him that he could crash in the garage as he was “in between leases for a few days”…without bothering to inform the rest of us.

Despite this jerk move by my roommate, I offered to let the guy sleep on my living room couch instead of some sketchy mattress in the crummy garage. Except a few days turned into a few weeks/months. I, the administrator of our utilities and rent payments, demanded that he chip in at this point. He agreed, but I was moving out soon because I finished a term early.

The couch and Wi-Fi router were mine and I was leaving them behind to pick up at the end of the year as a favor to my housemates. He shorted me a few hundred dollars (a large sum to a broke college kid) after I left. Another housemate ended up having to pay for this guest because I was about to go reclaim my couch and router if I didn’t get my money.

A year later, the guest had the audacity to text me to ask if he could “take me out” the next time I came into town. Yuck.

ElysianReverie21

18. Rotten To The Core

I went on a weeklong trip up the east coast when I was younger with my boyfriend at the time. It was a Tuesday-Tuesday trip. At the time we went, I had my “friend” staying with us because they fell on some hard times. It had been around a month and everything was going great, so we decided to ask them to watch the house for the week as we had three dogs.

We pretty much told them to take the car, do whatever, have some alone time, get a little vacation from the very tragic event that happened in their life and we would pay for their food as they did not have a job—but JUST TAKE CARE OF THE DOGS. I’m sure you can sadly see where this is going. Well, we decided to get home one day early and I’m not sure if it was a blessing or luck or just whatever.

When we got home, I noticed that the car I had purchased just that month had side-swiped a yellow pole of some sort. So, naturally, I’m fuming already. I come up and open the door to three random guys on the couch, all making a mess in my RENTED townhouse. The hardwood floor had random spots all over it, some covered in towels, and there was now a baby/doggie gate up, blocking all three dogs in the kitchen who were just almost screaming instead of barking at the excitement of seeing us.

Immediately, I threw everyone out before even walking around further in the house. Of course, my “friend” used this opportunity to get out with the people while I was not paying attention and running around in a frenzy. She must have had a bag packed, like she was going to leave just before we came back anyways. When I say the house was destroyed, I mean it was disgusting.

We came to find out that all of the spots on the hardwood floor in the living room were dry spots of dog pee that weren’t cleaned up and caused the floors to ripple up. Under the towels throughout the house was wet dog pee that was just left to dry on its own. I assume they were so angry at the dogs peeing in the house, that now the dogs were left and gated off in the kitchen for what looked like the entire weekend.

Walking into the kitchen, the piles/puddles of dog poop and pee were ABUNDANT. I had two full-size Dobermans, and those things ate like horses and pooped like them too. The miniature pinscher, well, you never even really noticed when she went to the bathroom, but still, not the point. The grout in the kitchen reeked of dog pee for months.

There was so much of it that it flowed together in a huge pile, made a literal 6-foot long creek of dog pee where I guess the tile sloped, and leaked behind the stove and absorbed in the freaking drywall behind the stove.

AND—the WORST part, one of the Dobermans ended up with a UTI!!!! We noticed it because within the puddles of pee in the kitchen, there were pink puddles. I freaking cried for hours holding my dogs. The cosmetic list just kept growing. But, I wasn’t angry about my belongings or the townhouse, really, but the utter *neglect* and disrespect for my animals that DEPEND on me/humans in general to take care of them!! It disgusted me to my core.

I felt their personalities shift a bit around anyone who ever came over after that. It was heartbreaking. My dogs were literally sleeping in their own pee and poop the entire weekend, at minimum. It was clear they were not taken care of at all and I was never able to go on another trip without taking them because I was afraid they would be neglected and I would come home to them gone, no matter who watched them!

I don’t know if they ever ate or what. I can’t honestly say they were ever let out. It was hands down the worst experience ever, and the one and only time I ever had a houseguest or someone watch my animals. She left some of her belongings and I threw every single thing she left away. It was never worth trying to get her to pay for anything because, well, she didn’t have a job and I probably would have blacked out from sheer anger if we ever crossed paths again.

xenobitee

19. The Hosts With The Most (Problems)

In my case, I was a houseguest and the hosts were the worst. I stayed in a home with three other girls while we did work for the church. While it was very generous of the host family to have us…They sold Amway, so we had to sit through a sales pitch one night. We slept in the basement on the floor, which was carpeted but infested with fleas from their numerous dogs.

One night for entertainment, we made balls of dog hair and watched to see how many fleas hopped on it. Answer: A lot. When they were finished cooking a meal, they left any leftovers in the pan until the next meal and then they just heated them up. So last night’s burger had been sitting on the stove for 24 hours, reheated and served again. Is that even a thing?!

Wide_Ocelot

20. I Wanted To Sake To Him

My husband’s old friend stayed with us for two weeks while we were living in Japan. He was very smug and irritating. He thought he was an instant “expert” on Japan after a few days when we had been living there for two years. He finally left on a Friday. My husband and I had separate plans on Saturday. I returned in the afternoon to an unlocked door and the sound of the TV.

I thought my husband had returned early—but I was so wrong. It was the friend. He thought we were gone for the weekend, so he broke into our apartment for an extra two-night stay. He actually protested and said, “You weren’t supposed to be here!” He refused to leave until my husband came back home and told him personally that he had overstayed his welcome.

Charismaticjelly

21. There Was Snow Chance Of Him Leaving

We had a dinner guest who asked to stay overnight because of impending snow. My spouse and I agreed as we didn’t have work the next day. However, the guest did. He started freaking out at 7:30 in the morning because we hadn’t shoveled the driveway for him yet. He yelled at us saying, “How am I supposed to get to work on time?!”

user256049

22. He Wasn’t Using His Noodle

I had a houseguest over. Suddenly, I heard the fire alarm ring. I ran to the kitchen—and I couldn’t believe my eyes. He had started a kitchen fire by cooking spaghetti in cake pans…without any water. I found him looking over the stove trying to blow out the fire, with his mouth, which was basically stoking the flames.

I slid the flaming cake pan into the sink and doused it in water to put it out.

tdefreest

23. A Little to the Left

I had house parties at my parents’ place quite regularly. I was the only child of divorce among my friends, and my dad worked overseas rather often. Normally, things wouldn’t go out of control (at least not so bad that it wasn’t fixable/cleanable) but one night two of my friends had an argument about a cinch.

It became a real full-fledged bare-knuckle fight. So, I threw out the one that always tended to be a violent/unpleasant drinker and started the ordeal. I thought that was the end of it—I was so wrong. Apparently, he wasn’t at all amused and decided to “sneak” back in. He climbed on my car using the hood as a replacement ladder to elevate himself up on the garage. I had to replace the hood because he didn’t make the jump the first try.

Poetic justice was that he broke his ankle jumping down from the garage into the garden.

loco_en_el_coco

24. Just Throw it Out

One of my mother’s friends is not only a raging alcoholic, but is also on a very ridiculous amount of prescription pills. On this night she was staying with my parents and fell asleep in a leather recliner because of aforementioned alcohol and pills. At some point in the middle of the night, she pooped herself…

It was definitely because of the drinks and pills. Instead of being a good guest and a decent human being and being embarrassed by it and then doing her best to clean it up, she just threw the blanket she was sleeping under over her mess, then went upstairs to sleep in one of the beds. Unbelievable behavior.

She told my mom about it that morning and left. My mother used bleach and every cleaner under the sun to clean up the mess, and she did, but she ended up just throwing the chair out because how could you ever really look at it the same way again. The most shocking detail in this story is that my mother is still friends with this lady.

ArchaeoRunner

25. Two Hours of Mayhem

I invited a former college classmate to come and stay at my house when I found out he was homeless. I knew he had issues with drinking, but was not aware that this had come to include other addictions. It was late in the evening when I picked him up and brought him home. I showed him his room and the bathroom.

I told him to help himself to anything in the fridge. What could go wrong, right? Less than two hours later, I woke up to the smoke alarm going off. I guess he had decided to smoke some Benadryl that was in the medicine cabinet. I’m not really sure what went on but he scorched my coffee table and a small patch of laminate flooring also.

Plus, he burned a spot in my area rug big enough that I had to replace the whole thing. He also broke my favorite glass and for some reason that still baffles me, smashed the remote for my TV into several pieces. The. First. Night. Needless to say, I had to show him the door. The next day I told him he needed to go to the addiction clinic.

Moos_Mumsy

26. No Tweety Bird

Used to have a friend that we’d have to tell multiple times to stop tormenting my bird. He was not friendly to strangers, and a conure can bite pretty hard, so we’d warn guests not to stick fingers in, or even really go near, since it stressed him out. What does one of my dummy high school buddies wanna do every time? Like, seriously. It’s not funny. The bird is not playing with you. He hates you.

And, more recently, a twenty-something-year-old friend antagonizing my cat, who also has stranger issues. She gets used to people very slowly, but this fully grown woman was being downright terrible to her, and I had to tell her several times to freaking leave my cat alone. And she has three! So, it isn’t like she doesn’t understand. I don’t want my cat’s problems exacerbated, and I especially hate feeling like someone I had over is causing her undue grief.

therealrinnian

27. Counting Down the Seconds

It was a few years back on New Year’s Eve, and I had about three or four families staying the night at my place. All coming from Sydney and Wollongong. May I just mention that for a while during that time I was a little depressed, although not diagnosed with anything, and did NOT like crowds. I still don’t enjoy crowds at all.

I didn’t know why they were all coming to my place in such a small and boring town of Bathurst to see the firework show when the one in Sydney was so much more exciting. This, of course, made me even more depressed as my entire house was taken over by obnoxious little children who were so loud, I actually considered running away for the weekend. This is extremely abnormal behavior for me as I am a complete goody-two-shoes, but of course, I didn’t. Now you’re probably thinking, “Just lock yourself in your room, it’ll be fine!” Nope.

That was not an option at the time because one of my relatives was staying in my room. My auntie from Sydney and one of her sons who was around five or six at the time. I had to sleep on the couch, but to be honest, I didn’t really mind considering it was much cooler in the lounge room than my bedroom. Yes, New Year’s is in summer in Australia for those who are unaware.

The next morning, I found out that my auntie’s son had wet himself on MY bed. I was devastated as if it couldn’t get any worse, but oh dear god, it sure did. When all of my visitors had finally left, I was sure I needed to see a doctor and get medication for a possible case of depression I could have developed during the horrible time, but I decided I would just forget about it and read a good book. You know, just flush all the anger out, relax, and forget about everything.

Well no. When I went to grab my favorite book at the time and discovered that someone, possibly the same pest that had wet my bed, had scribbled all over the pages with pen and ripped a few out. I thought I was going to die. I usually freak out when objects are out of position on my desk, let alone having my favorite book at the time completely destroyed.

iEatKoalas

28. I Wash Myself With A Rag On A Stick

I lived in a 1 bedroom, 1 bath with my then-boyfriend. He begged to let his best friend stay with us while he gets on his feet, since he was moving from several states away. My boyfriend explained that he had some interpersonal issues like anxiety and told me how he was a bit traumatized from an involuntary stay at a mental health ward as a teen but was otherwise harmless.

He was a lump and did nothing for a couple months. But I don’t know why I let him stay after learning about his special rag. A few days after he’s living there, I ask my boyfriend what’s up with the rag draped on the side of the tub, because it looks and smells gross. My boyfriend goes beet red and storms out. He then starts yelling at the friend.

“You freaking promised this wasn’t going to be an issue again!” This is how I learned this guy has a single rag he used to wipe his butt after pooping. He didn’t want more than that single disgusting rag, and he cleaned it by running hot water through it and ringing it out to dry. No soap because those unneeded chemicals could damage his precious butt.

Remembering the smell made me vomit when my boyfriend explained all this to me. I don’t know what they worked out after that. I never saw the rag again and I didn’t ask because I was scared of the answer. As disgusting as that was, it wasn’t evil or dangerous. But the last straw came after months of him doing nothing but playing our gaming systems.

One day, he used my game pre-order codes (back when they gave you stuff for that) while I was at work. Sounds petty, but we were both so done at that point. Honestly, I’m still angry about it as I was never able to get that gear from my favorite franchise at the time. His hygiene and smell was the worst, but he also didn’t cook, clean, or pay towards anything.

tepidCourage

29. Get A Room

I had a friend from college who used to invite herself to visit one or two times a year. It got to the point where I would dread these visits because my friend would complain about everything. Things like, “When you move again, can you find an apartment with a sink with only one handle? This current setup sucks.” She’d also brag about money, plus we had somewhat grown apart at this point, so the visits were sometimes awkward.

I was starting to feel like I was being used as a hotel since I live in Chicago. On her most recent (and last) visit, I firmly told her she had to get a hotel room. I had moved into a studio and did not even have a couch for her to sleep on. We were 29 at the time. I am an assistant and she is a pharmacist. We were out for drinks and she said, “I just think it’s so wild how I live in this huge, new beautiful home and you basically live in a tiny room.”

PSA: For the love of God, never invite yourself to stay with people, be it friends or family. Let them invite you. You might think you are welcome, but it is entirely possible that your “host” is just being polite and feels like she/he cannot say no. I recently reached out to this friend to wish her a happy birthday and her response was, “Thank you! Let’s plan a visit soon!”

the_coolest_chelle

30. Girls Trip

A high school buddy of mine called to ask if his late-teens daughter and her two friends could stay at our house for a night, as they were traveling around the world. Of course, we said, and we even gave them our master bedroom and master bath, so they could clean up and spoil themselves. Not to brag, but we have an awesome setup, and those two rooms are about 700 sq ft.

Shortly after seeing their new digs, they announced that they were staying for six days…actually assuming we’d let them have our room the entire time. We said, “Uhhhhh….no….one night of fun, then down to the basement” (which is still pretty nice). They left the next morning while were out, didn’t say thank you, took a bunch of snack food, and made us sound like horrible hosts to my buddy. The entitlement was laughable.

Marlowebabe

31. If The Shoe Fits

My friend who came over one day has a known foot odor problem. I’ve known this friend for more than 20 years, and every time he comes over, I tell him to take his boots off outside and leave them on the porch instead of taking them off inside and leaving them by the door. I just got a new deep freezer, the big chest kind with a flip-up lid, and he took his boots off and put them in my brand new, empty freezer.

Apparently he did this because he saw a post on Facebook about how foot odor is caused by bacteria and that if you freeze your shoes, it will kill all the bacteria, thus eliminating your foot odor problem. I opened my freezer and nearly passed out from the smell. Best part was, he took his boots out and for about three minutes, they did smell okay, so he was ecstatic…but not for long.

As everyone knows, you pour a cold drink and within minutes you have condensation running down the side of your glass. Well, his boots were super cold and after about three or four minutes, water vapor started condensing alllllllll over his boots. They were SOAKING wet inside and out and stunk even worse. He ended up throwing them away that day.

austin0matic

32. The Company You Keep

My now ex-boyfriend’s buddy took over our bedroom. Like, I came home from work to find him on our bed with his dirty socks on our pillows as he was on his computer. He would constantly sit in between my boyfriend and I, would eat on the couch or in our bed and leave crumbs, and if I attempted to talk to my boyfriend, he would immediately interrupt me to say something.

If we went to go out for anything he would invite himself along and sit in the front seat, no matter whether I was driving or my boyfriend was. He would then leave trash all over our car. But there was a kicker. He brought his girlfriend around too, and we later found out she was a minor—he was 19, she was 15. Not cool. I sometimes think the best part of our breakup was not dealing with that friend anymore.

Spazztastic85

33. Noodle Head

I was seven months pregnant with my second child, and we hit a period of severe financial hardship, like eating buttered noodles every meal because that was all we could afford. I made sure my daughter ate properly, but I didn’t. I saved for two months (seriously) and then bought myself a $7 steak because I was seriously craving meat.

I came home after work to cook that steak up, and my “friend” who we let stay there for a week because she “had nowhere to go” was eating it!!!! She knew how poor we were. Her excuse??? “It is inhumane to make a grown adult eat nothing but buttered noodles.” I grabbed her clothes, threw them outside, and told her to LEAVE.

tdlm40

34. Clowning Around

The clown that wouldn’t leave. It’s become family legend. My mother hired a clown for my brother’s second or third birthday party. My mother made the mistake of offering her a cup of coffee after she was done performing and she seemed to take that as a cue to stay for a while. Hours pass. The party guests are long gone and the clown is still there drinking the coffee chatting with my mother, still in full makeup and her outfit.

She ended up staying the entire day until my mom got fed up and told her she had to go because she had to prepare dinner.

abestosSNDWICH

35. New Sister, Same Problems

I had my mom take a DNA test because we had a sneaking suspicion that her father wasn’t actually her father. It turned out to be true. She got into contact with some family members who were related to her biological father and found out she had a long-lost sister. My mother already has a sister who is, for the lack of a better term, a leech.

So we were sort of hoping her newly found sibling would be better than her current one. Needless to say, that wasn’t the case. She was just as bad, if not worse. She and my mother made plans to travel across the USA to finally meet, and that involved her staying at my mom’s house. When she arrived, we found out immediately that her health was extremely bad, far worse than what she alluded to and that she essentially needed someone assisting her 24/7 to do everything…and I mean EVERYTHING.

My parents pretty much turned into full-time nursing home workers in their own house having to help this lady. She practically demanded attention 24/7, was constantly raiding our pantry and my parent’s wallet. She knew about this trip to meet for over a year, and she only saved up like $125.00 to last her the ENTIRE MONTH! That was it.

The really bad part is that my mother doesn’t set boundaries and is very giving, so it’s easy for people to take advantage of her. Well, her new sister did just that. She was constantly asking for money and having my mom buy her stuff. Within the first 10 minutes of meeting her, she forgot her walker at the airport that is two hours away from where we live.

Like, how do you forget a walker when you need it to get around? She made my mom drive all the way, a four-hour round trip, plus traffic, to get her walker. She also couldn’t use our shower because she has to sit while washing herself (she didn’t tell us this) so my mom has to set up appointments at Wal-Mart to have her hair washed at the hair salon every other day. AND MY MOM HAS TO PAY FOR IT.

slayer_gems

36. We’ve Got Aunts

My aunt came to visit for what was supposed to be a week or two…and didn’t leave for almost a year when I was a kid. But then she took it to the next level. She redecorated my room and even put up pictures of herself. Now the running joke in my family is to randomly leave pictures of ourselves around the house when we visit people.

slams-head-on-desk

37. House Sitting Or House Squatting?

My sister-in-law housesat for us this one time when we were out of town. There were tons of disrespectful presents left for us—for example, a cookie crumb trail of “intimate” wrappers, which led to an actual used one. But the worst was after cleaning all that up, which was merely aggravating and stupid, there was a putrid smell coming from somewhere.

I couldn’t put my finger on the source, until I finally opened a drawer in the dresser in the guest room. She had left an entire takeout container in there, and there was half an omelette that had gone rancid. I have to hope she just had to go quickly and forgot all that stuff was there when she left. Either way, though, we took our key back from her.

Billbaprno

38. It’s Not Me, It’s You

My old roommate told me that she had a friend who had fallen on rough times and needed a spot to crash for a while. No worries, I told her. Oooh, big worries. As it turned out, he was a professional beatboxer, but more than that he was a professional smoker. Like, I’m fine with weed generally, but this dude was on 12-15 blunts a day, and would roll one as soon as he rolled his tighty whitey clad butt off of our couch.

So for like four months, as soon as I woke up, it was nothing but clouds of white owl and “BRRRRMMMCHKCHK-FRKAFRKACHCKABRRRRMMM.” He didn’t fall on rough times. He WAS a rough time.

whitebabyjesus

39. Puppy Hate

This couple came for a weekend to my small apartment…and I was quite surprised that they brought three dogs and an extra friend. The puppy took a dump on my floor in the night, which nobody got up to clean. The other dog had a crate but managed to get a hold of a carpet outside of the crate, drag it in, and shred it. They also chewed up cardboard and wooden furniture. When they left, all the shredded stuff was just where it fell.

neon_dave

40. Show Some Respect

I ran into a guy I used to call a friend and let him stay with me for a while as he was down on his luck. I guess we’d run out of toilet paper one day, so he used a washcloth. Ok. Except…he left it at the side of the toilet. I kicked him out after that and found out later he walked away with some of my CDs. Well, some mutual friends let him stay with them, against my advice.

They came home one day to find him passed out on the couch with his pants around his ankles. After they kicked him out, they found out he’d racked up $900 in phone charges to escorts. Screw you, Nole. You always were and always will be a piece of trash.

whose_this_chucker

41. Baby On Board

This wasn’t my experience, but my mom’s. One of my dad’s younger cousins moved into my parents’ new house to stay with them until he found some other arrangements. My dad’s a pushover and my mom’s an introvert, so they were totally unprepared for the nightmare that was coming. This jerk eventually made my parents move out of their bedroom to the other room, since he “needed” it for his studies.

That garbage uncle then had his friends over every other weekend. Even when my older brother was born, he did not move out. And then my dad’s younger brother passed, which gave him yet another reason to stay with them. My dad was living a soulless life for a few months after that. Then after four years of this, I was born, and boy oh boy the baby me was a crier.

According to my brother, if my uncle was even within 10 feet of me, I would cry. If I heard his voice, I would cry. Then he finally left the house and has never been in our lives again. I guess I’m a blessing!

MeNoEnglishhhh

42. The Mother Of All Trouble

When our son was born, my mother-in-law came and stayed on our couch for two weeks to “help.” In the two weeks she was there, she did NOTHING to help. Dishes? Laundry? Feedings? NOTHING. And our poor son had real trouble feeding those first few months. My wife couldn’t get him to eat well, and it didn’t help that her mother was there the whole time, staring at us while the baby didn’t eat.

When my mother-in-law saw my wife for the first time after the baby, she said, “Wow, it looks like there’s another baby in there.” Also, my father-in-law wasn’t there to meet his first grandchild because he had a “prior commitment.” It was a Vietnam veterans’ reunion. I wasn’t bothered that he wanted to go to that, because I know how important that group is to vets.

But this is your only daughter and your first grandchild and you can’t skip it just this one year? Anyway, after two weeks, my father-in-law was going to join us, so my mother-in-law baked a pie. FOR HIM. But then again, if he’d been as “helpful” as his wife was, it was better that he was away. Still, that’s why I always said that if we had another one, I’d be on the doorstep barring her from entry until the baby was six months old.

edgarpickle

43. Locked Out

I agreed to rent an apartment with my younger sister while she was on her road to recovery from substance use, and we all thought she was doing well. I paid for the first month’s rent and deposit, which is standard where I live. She moved in a week early, because I was working the night shift and the whole process started on a Monday.

The weekend I got to move in, I made a sinking discovery. I found out my debit card was locked out because she pilfered it and attempted to withdraw money too many times. It didn’t get any better after that, sadly, and I never even got to spend any time in this apartment.

FunInvetiable5213

44. Ladies And Germs

Oh this is a good one. So I had a really old and good friend call me and tell me they needed a place to stay for maybe a few days or a week when I lived in the Pacific Northwest. I of course said yes. Then she told me her girlfriend was coming too. Ok, great. They show up, and when they get to my porch, she tells me her girlfriend has strep throat.

At first I think, “Ok, whatever.” But then I stop and think, “Isn’t that highly contagious?” But they are already here, so I just kind of start thinking to myself that I’ll have to somehow keep them to my spare bedroom and sterilize everything. Only, I’m also wondering why my friend didn’t tell me in advance, or if they don’t know much about the illness.

Like if my girlfriend had strep, I’d go get a hotel and not subject my friend to that. Then came the twist. After about a day, my friend tells me via text she has to leave. At first I’m relieved, but then she asks if her girlfriend can just stay at my place. I don’t know her, and I’ve never met her in my life before. So I had to get greasy about it.

I tell her I have another couple who need to come stay with me (which was true, a little bit) but that I’m also not comfortable housing someone I don’t know who is sick. My friend says that it’s fine, but then when she comes to get her stuff she acts all angry and says snidely, “Well see you sometime, maybe.” After that, I don’t hear from her for a long, long time. It was pretty messed up that she put me in that situation, to be honest.

Powerful_Artist

45. With Friends Like These, Who Needs Enemies?

My girlfriend was pregnant and we were taking a little vacation. We let two friends who are brothers use our house while we were gone on the condition that they maintained the yard and garden. First they borrowed the truck, which wasn’t a big deal, but they immediately wrecked it, driving it head-on into a garbage truck somehow.

Then our very best friend stopped by to borrow something and they told her to screw off. They found some hidden cash (maybe $100) and took it. They broke plates. We came home to find a pile of soaking wet towels and linens that had grown mold and all had to be replaced. Believe it or not, they did make an attempt to mow the lawn but somehow broke the lawnmower and then never fixed it or mowed or watered anything and many flowers were withered.

I had been collecting exotic varieties of heliconia there on the Big Island of Hawaii and they were all gone. Some of those flowers were worth $80 or $100. So, we come home from vacation and the boys have vanished without a trace and won’t ever—EVER answer our calls again. We are five months pregnant with no vehicle and a trashed house.

I think the worst part was that we really did think of them as friends, but then they ghosted us like that. Like we were disposable and our pregnancy and our lives didn’t matter.

traindodger

46. Getting Along Like A House On Fire

A former friend of ours called us and said that her house caught on fire, so naturally we offered her a soft place to land while she was dealing with the fallout. We went and picked her up, brought her home, and got her set up for the night. The next day, she grabbed what she could from her apartment and brought it over to our house.

My wife washed all of her clothes, which by the way smelled the way you’d expect from being in a house fire. Unfortunately, that scent is REALLY hard to get out, so our house smelled of fire for a long time as my wife was washing the clothes multiple times. Eventually, we realized the horrible truth. She was very much not trying at all to get her life back in order.

She also wasn’t helping at all at our house. She apparently just decided that she was going to stay with us and coast, I guess? Ultimately she then started being really critical of anything we did, tried to start drama, and was generally unpleasant to be around. What finally broke the camel’s back was when I returned one day to find her and someone we had never met before sharing a dart on our front porch.

Not really a big deal, but it was odd that she didn’t let us know that she was inviting anyone into our house. The next day I went to take my Adderall that I had just filled and noticed that there were like five left from the prescription. She and her friend helped themselves to my meds! After that, she announced that she was going to stay somewhere where she was “welcome” and said that we could throw the clothes and items away that we had at our house because she didn’t want them anymore.

Apparently, they smelled too much like smoke. But the best came after she moved out. We read a story about the fire in the newspaper, which was about the cause of the fire. Well, our friend had caused it by lighting up on the back deck of her apartment and carelessly not putting it out. We never really saw her again; she tried to make contact but we just noped out.

She ended up moving in with some of our other friends. We tried to warn them about her, but they didn’t listen. She ended up almost accidentally starving their dog due to carelessness before being kicked out by them. Yeah, she sucked.

W0rk3rB

47. Sandwich Swiper

I would make all of my sandwiches for the week on Sunday nights and put them in the refrigerator. An acquaintance was over with a group of friends, and he went into the kitchen for a minute. He came back with one of my premade sandwiches. It wasn’t about the food per se, but the fact that he took a premade sandwich from my refrigerator without asking.

Icy-Project861

48. Late Night Losers

My partner’s friend showed up after 11 PM on a weeknight with some other random friend. They would come home after 11 PM every night of their stay knowing we had to work in the morning. They weren’t quiet either. They would be ready to party and try to get us to drink. They would spill things without wiping them up, leave glassware everywhere, use our fancy dishes, and never pick up after themselves. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.

They never even bothered to ask me anything about myself, insulted my restaurant recommendations, cheered against my team for no reason when I had the game on, and made a comment about how there must be a lot of “gay stuff” going on in my brother’s rehab stay. They were both just obnoxious to be around.

The_RoyalPee

49. He Was No Barrel Of Laughs

I was at my parents’ house, and let my buddy from high school stay the night because he was “kicked out” of his house and he didn’t want to stay in the park. I guess he was afraid to go upstairs when my parents woke up, so he ended up peeing in the trash barrel. It was absolutely gross having to dump that out.

PCB4lyfe

50. Gone With The Wind

We were helping out my nephew and letting him stay with us. He ended up selling the car that we let him use, then he got on a plane and left town without telling us. We didn’t even know he was gone until we received a Facebook message from some random guy saying my nephew told him to contact us for the pink slip. He left his bedroom filled with roaches, empty drink cans, and old vapes.

No_Leopard_9523

51. Goblin Go Home

A few years ago, our good friend and her boyfriend came to stay with us for a week. Our friend was a saint, however, her boyfriend was a goblin. To this day I have no idea how this man survived into his 20s—he was the absolute strangest person I had ever met. He was fine for the first couple of days. He took us all out for drinks and acted like a total gentleman.

A couple of days in, he decided he wanted to be a dealer in our neighborhood. For reference, we lived in a residential family neighborhood in “the hood” of our city. There were already several dealers on our block. We tried to convince him this was a very bad idea, specifically because we didn’t want the others thinking our house was the competition.

He didn’t listen. Fortunately, nothing serious happened and he didn’t run into anyone important. He did, however, run into our next-door neighbor, and invited himself into the guy’s house. Our neighbor was a nice dude, but not someone we had ever actually hung out with, so we began the process of trying to extract him. However, having no social cues whatsoever, he wasn’t picking up on it.

Suddenly our friend’s boyfriend stood up and exclaimed, “I’m bleeding!” His shin was bleeding a lot, where he had apparently picked a scab. Our neighbor asked him if he wanted a Band-Aid, but he just said, “Nah man, I can handle it.” We eventually got him out, but not before he bled all over the place. The next morning my fiancée got up before sunrise to use the bathroom and saw the guy in the backyard with his pants down, pleasuring himself.

She decided not to confront him because it would be weird. We later asked his girlfriend about it and we offered to leave if they wanted some privacy to get busy. Apparently, he believed it was rude to be intimate in someone else’s house and thought it would be more polite to have at it in the yard. Again, we lived in a residential family neighborhood. We had no idea what possessed him to think this was okay.

He also had a condition where every time he was cold, he would grab at his stomach, make audible “uhh…brrrr” sounds, and complain that his stomach hurt. We couldn’t figure out what that had to do with being cold. At one point, he bought a gallon of milk and a can of chili. He rapidly ate the chili and chugged the milk, then projectile vomited all over the backyard.

When we asked his girlfriend why he didn’t just use the toilet, she said he’d told her he “wanted to be polite.” He would sleep in our living room all day and pass gas a lot. He would take hour-long showers and use up all of our hot water, shampoo, and conditioner. On the day they were supposed to leave, I decided I had enough and was burned out.

I got in my car and started driving to the local drugstore to get out of the house. Lo and behold, our guest hopped our fence, slid in my passenger door, and said he needed a couple of things for the trip so he was coming with me. When we got to the store, he was being loud and yelling across the place trying to have conversations with me.

At that point, I was just counting down the minutes until he was going to leave. We got to the checkout line, he cut in front of me, and before the cashier even started to ring him up, he started asking for discounts. I believe he asked for the “out of towners discount” and also tried to apply for a credit card—at CVS.

When this didn’t work and his stuff came out to be more than he wanted it to, he said, “Hey man, can you get me this drink, I thought I’d be able to get some discounts.” I reluctantly added his drink to my basket because I didn’t want to deal with the hassle. But then came the cherry on top. He looked in my basket, which contained shampoo and conditioner to replace the ones he used up, and said “Dude, you go through a lot of Suave for a bald guy.”

NightOnFMountain

52. Down The Drain

A friend I haven’t seen in a year or so called me last weekend wanting to catch up, so he came over. I didn’t realize he was blackout drinking until he walked in. At that point, I didn’t realize how to defuse the situation. It started with him taking a poop in my bathroom and instead of flushing it, he just put both seats down? He then went into my fridge to grab a craft IPA that I have been saving for a rainy day and drank it.

Went outside and out of nowhere he started ranting about anything and everything. At this point, I told him to get the heck out nicely or calm down, but I also didn’t want him to crash his car home as he lives an hour away. He then said he’s going to go to the store so I offered to drive him. As soon as we’re down the road, he yells at me to pull over because he has to pee.

I told him to just wait three minutes and he takes out his Johnson, puts it into his IPA can, and just pees everywhere and then throws it outside. By this time I’m livid. He grabs my arm to apologize, but his hand was soaked in pee, so he basically just wiped it all over me. I knew I was going to punch him in the face if I didn’t get to the gas station, so once I got there I told him to go inside.

When he went in, I peeled out of there and called his girlfriend, saying she needed to pick him up. I took a shower and an hour later, his girlfriend calls me and says he’s in the backseat of a patrol car because he called 9-1-1 asking for them to sell him substances. Needless to say, that’s the last time I’ll be seeing him. Talk about his true colors.

Worldly-Turn

53. Privacy, Please

The husband of my great aunt came to visit us. Mind you, he was like 80-something years old, so he goes to the bathroom to do his business, comes down, and now he smells a little bit. Still, we all brush it aside. Then when he sits down and after a while gets back up to leave, you can see stains on the sofa. Not only that, but my mom then goes upstairs and finds the bathroom full of poop.

A bunch of it was sprayed on the walls, etc. To this day we haven’t spoken about it and that man passed a year ago.

Aioli_Tough

54. Brotherly Love

I was 23 and had just signed a lease for a duplex with my girlfriend. We got new furniture and a new computer, then my brother shows up one with a broken foot and says he can’t work, so he stays with me while. He acts grateful, and I had a spare bedroom that I was using as an office—I can’t really say no. My new computer was in the room.

Welp, he downloaded so many adult files that it crashed the hard drive. Like, we had to wipe the hard drive and reinstall Windows. I put a parental block on the computer after that. He finally got a job and pretty much spent all his money on substances and partying. I would ask him to pitch in money for food and bills, and he would be totally delusional, saying he gave $500 last week.

I think I got $100 from him in the six months he was there. He got messed up on pills and passed out and peed himself on my brand new couch, then he tried to fight me when I yelled at him and told him he had to pay for it to get cleaned. I told him to get out at that point—but that was just the beginning of the nightmare. He would send threatening messages to me saying how he was going to hurt me. The worst part was, my mom took his side during all of this.

ATXKLIPHURD

55. Thanks For Nothing

So my paternal aunt came to “visit” my father, who was in the hospital. She stepped off the bus with her husband, went to see my dad for an hour, then crashed at our home for a week and never went to see him again. Both of them (she and her husband) won’t do anything to help my mom or me. My mom had to take care of everything, prepare food for them, then go visit my father, come back, and cook again for them.

Those jerks took over our living room and would spend all day watching television without interacting with others, leaving lights and fans on, and doors open everywhere they go. Her husband used every item in the bathroom and grime dup everything—soap, razor, trimmer, he even used my TOOTHBRUSH. After a week of free vacation, they then demanded I drop them off at the bus station.

I was very sick myself at that time and we didn’t own a car, so I had to drop them off one by one at the station…on my bike. If I had owned a car back then, I definitely would have dropped them off at their home 160 km away, for free.

Emergency_Slice2487

56. Make Yourself At Home

My brother-in-law needed a place to stay after his divorce, and my wife and I were going traveling for 6+ months. Huge mistake. He moved his girlfriend in, ran up bills, moved his dog in (we don’t like dogs and explicitly said no dogs). He completely ignored a roof leak and let it get worse even though he’s a carpenter. He broke pots, taps, and he and his girlfriend tried to order things on Alexa but didn’t realize I’d protected myself from that once he’d added them to the basket. Finally, he didn’t clean…..ever.

ILikeItUnlessIDont

57. Take A Picture, It’ll Last Longer

My parents hosted a guy from another state who played on the same sports team as my brother for a year, though the dude was the same age as me. He basically stayed in his room the whole time he wasn’t at school or practice for the sport. Like, the door was always closed, to the point where he wouldn’t let anyone in to clean, even just vacuuming, the entire year.

An important point: This dude had allergies or something—we didn’t have pets or even use scented candles that would cause allergies—and he was always sniffing and then hawking loogies. My family thought he was using tissues for that while in his room. Nope. Giant loogy pile among other…fluids all over the carpet and walls when we finally went in.

The room had to be professionally cleaned after he left because of how gross it was. Then came the chilling piece de resistance. Early in the year when he was over, a picture of my friend and I was missing from my room. I thought the friend had taken it the last time she was over because it was a cute picture of us. Well, we also found it in a drawer in his room. Also covered in those same other fluids. It grosses me out to even think about it.

nannerdooodle

58. Caught Red-Handed

My roommate started seeing a guy who didn’t have a car and lived in the town over, which was about a 20-minute drive away. She would pick him up from his house and bring him to ours, but she didn’t always want to drive him home the next morning because she would have to work early. This quickly turned into him staying at our apartment full time, despite protests from my second roommate and I.

After about two weeks, I noticed over $100 was missing from my wallet. He and I were the only two in our apartment all day. My wallet had been in my bedroom while I was watching TV in the living room. He’d been locked away in her room all day, but I also can’t see down the hall that led to all of our bedrooms from the living room.

So it was easy to figure out that he had snuck down the hall and gotten into my wallet. But she refused to believe me. I kept my bedroom door locked for a while and kept my valuables inside until I was able to get a camera set up. Then I left my door unlocked one day with a small amount of cash in my wallet in front of the camera to lure him.

It worked like a charm and I got him on camera taking stuff from me again. Showing them the video got my roommate to believe me, but he still tried to deny it. He got dumped and kicked out, but I lost about $150 that I never saw again.

jazzylovely714

59. You Are What You Eat

My cousin and her kid, who was 18 years old, came to stay in our apartment because the kid needed a psychiatrist evaluation and treatment. The city they lived in didn’t have a facility for it, but ours did. My cousin said they would stay for about three weeks, and we said yeah, anything to help. They ended up staying for more than four months.

During this time, they didn’t put in a single penny for groceries, took showers that lasted for ages, left the heat running, lights on in every room, just wasteful all around. In my family we don’t have dinner, just some tea and bread, but she and her kid NEEDED to have dinner, so she would sometimes take the food I had set up for lunch for the next day and give it to her kid.

This kid, by the way, had the appetite of a monster, so a lot of times I would rush in the morning to assemble the lunch packs and discover there was nothing left. If there wasn’t any food ready, my cousin would just take whatever she wanted from the fridge and prepare it. Fancy steak we were saving for the weekend? Gone. She even gave the kid HALF of my sister’s birthday cheesecake BEFORE the party.

romidwife

60. Party Pooper

We were having a family BBQ and this gong show of a woman, Joanie, shows up. She’s the alcoholic girlfriend of a guy who my dad and uncle worked with and were friends with. We already knew she had a knack for ruining a good time and being a party pooper, so we decided to tell her we were all getting ready to leave and go to my grandparents so she had to leave.

She says she needs to use the restroom, so we wait and then pile into my mom’s van and drive down the street and circle back. We arrive back and my Uncle Kelly goes to use the restroom and immediately comes out and says what the heck, man. It was like a horror movie in there. She had pooped everywhere, smeared it everywhere, and then put her filthy panties in the sink and rolled out like it was nothing.

We didn’t see her for a few years and then ran into her at the bank. While there, she loudly apologized for pooping all over our restroom. We never saw her again.

menace-to-sobriety

61. Tiny Torment

There was a nine-year-old little girl from down the street who was friends with my daughter. She would come to our house at least every other day, and would mostly just show up. She had an opinion about EVERYTHING we did. My wife and I could not make a move without feeling judged, or receiving some advice I would never expect from a nine-year-old, ranging from how messy our house was, to how we spent our money.

Not only that, but she would talk back as much as my own kids did.

myfriendrichard

62. He Was Odd, No Matter How You Sliced It

I had a guy stay with me for about a month because he met a girl online which turned into a big catfishing debacle. We had mutual friends and he was waiting for his parents to wire him money for a plane ticket back home. I didn’t want him to be out on the streets, so I offered him my place. The entire time he stayed with me, 90% of his daily caloric intake was eating slices of American cheese out of the fridge.

He went through about two dozen packs of cheese in that one month.

RazeCrusher

63. He Had An Appetite For Destruction

I was in a band with some dudes. I was the bass player, the manager, the roadie, the sound guy, and the financier. My best friend was the drummer, and another guy was the lead singer and guitarist. The singer’s wife had kicked him out, so I let him stay with me. His wife had destroyed all his clothes, so I spent about $500 on clothes for him, which he said he would pay back.

I also bought his kids Christmas presents, which he said he would pay me back for. A couple of weeks later, stuff suspiciously started turning up missing. It was all minor stuff, and we had parties from time to time, so I wasn’t sure if this guy was the culprit. About a month later, I booked a significant gig. It was a music festival and paid WAY more than any other gig we ever had.

Two days before the gig, I came home and the guy was gone. Later that night, we were supposed to practice, but he didn’t show. I went to practice and all the microphones and guitars were gone. He pawned them and went on a partying spree. Two days after that, he got into a fight and broke a guy’s neck, and was locked up.

Because I had spent so much on his clothes and kids, I didn’t have enough money to get the guitars out of pawn, and his new life pretty much ensured that he was never going to pay me back. I lost the guitars and microphones and that was the end of the band.

BareassedM

64. Too Close For Comfort

I let a friend stay with me while he was in town. At the time I lived with four other people. He woke up in the morning and just started rummaging through the cupboards and was eating my roommates’ food. When I asked him why he would do that, and that it wasn’t even mine to offer to him, he said he would want guests at his house to feel comfortable just eating the food in the cupboards.

pelicansmcgee

65. He Left A Trail Of Destruction

I had a friend of a roommate try to get into my room, which I kept locked, numerous times. He ate my food, destroyed my cookware, burned a hookah, which set the couch on fire and nearly smothered me because I have asthma. He broke the washer, the bathroom sink, and the lanai door. He then “lost” the keys to the apartment, so I had no idea if someone could get in.

Then to finish it off, he harassed me and tried to put cameras up. I finally got the roommate evicted and the locks changed.

CaraAsha

66. Sauced Ceiling

My ex-brother-in-law plopped himself along with a plate of BBQ ribs on my nice, cream-colored sofa. He then proceeded to chow down. He used the sofa as a napkin, spilled the meat on it, and I kid you not, I actually had BBQ sauce on the ceiling above where he was sitting. I still have no idea how on earth he got that up there.

thornyrosary

67. Snack Attack

Once, I picked up my sister and her husband from the airport. I dropped them off at my house before taking my preschool kid to a doctor’s appointment. I told them to make themselves at home, and that we would be back in two hours. They ate all the snacks in the entire house, including ten brand new boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.

It was at least two months’ worth of snacks. They laughed and said that they, “Just couldn’t help themselves since they don’t have junk food at home.”

anothertimesometime

68. He Left My Grandpa Plumb Exhausted

My grandpa drove over to our house every day for a few months to get away from his insane wife. In turn, he was fixing up our disgusting bathroom. He was perfectly fine, but when it came time to fix some of the plumbing, he decided to play it safe and find someone to do it instead. Luckily, my mom found some guy next door willing to do it for free. Well, we were in for a surprise.

The first red flag was when he showed up six hours later than he had agreed to. It was late, but my grandpa was just grateful to have someone help him who wasn’t his ex-wife. However, this man was acting a bit manic and stayed until 4 AM. My grandpa was absolutely exhausted. We highly believe he was on something. When he finally left, my mom took the time to inform me that she thought this guy was my great uncle!

​​​​Emo—Emu

69. She Was A Retch

When I was 19, I moved to a new state with my girlfriend, who I hadn’t been with for all that long. A few months in, she decided her friend from college was going to move in with us. On her first night with us, we were all watching TV, when, without warning, she puked all over her end of the couch. She absolutely covered it.

To add to the experience, she was partying a lot and whenever she wasn’t high, she would bawl and scream every single night because she was running on serotonin fumes.

malenkylizards

70. She Was On A Feeding Frenzy

We had someone my mom knew from work stay with us for a while when he and his wife were going through a divorce. He was all-around bad news but the thing that really set us off was that we caught him and his new girlfriend feeding random stuff to our dog. When I caught them, they were tossing our pooch chicken bones from KFC, which can be really dangerous for dogs.

Arcinbiblo12

71. Holiday Showdown

I invited a good friend of mine over for an early Christmas dinner one December. We hadn’t seen each other in a few months. I took two days to plan the dinner and went all out making foods she loved. To start things off, she was 45 minutes late, without calling. Normally I wouldn’t care, but when it comes to food—that’s just rude. We ate and had a good time. Then she said, “Oh, hey. I need to call my cousin. Do you mind?”

I shook my head thinking she’d just be a few minutes. Nearly 40 minutes later, she was still on. At one point, she got up to put her boots on while on the phone, then sat at the door. Meanwhile, I was in the kitchen angry and started clearing the table loudly so she could get the hint. She finally hung up without any apology and said, “I have to go now.”

At that point, I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted her to leave. We haven’t seen each other since.

YEGMusic43

72. An Extremely Awkward Situation

I was in a pretty new relationship when my girlfriend told me she had to leave her apartment. She told me that she had another one lined up but it wouldn’t be available for a week. So, of course, I let her stay with me for that “week.” Two months later, she was still there, living rent-free. That’s when I made a disturbing discovery.

I walked in on her with another guy. I told her she needed to leave immediately. She went and begged the head tenant to let her stay as she had nowhere to go. He asked me if it would be OK and I felt bad to put her out on the street, so I said it would be alright if she rented the spare room. Three weeks later, she still hadn’t paid any rent and the head tenant hit me up for the money.

I told him it wasn’t my problem and offered to help him shift all her belongings out onto the driveway. She found a new place pretty quickly after that and I never heard from her again.

braaaappy

73. Their Stay Left Us Stymied

My cousin and her boyfriend, who were both in their mid-20s, were in between homes. They couldn’t afford to rent anywhere, so my wife and I let them stay for a week. However, the week turned into two months. They took over our downstairs and left it filthy. They let their dogs relieve themselves all over the place, ran the air conditioner at freezing temperatures, and left her Tesla plugged in all day.

I had a $400 power bill and another $400 in carpet cleaning. It was a disaster.

newcombhy

74. Impromptu Partiers

My roommate invited two friends over, who brought another two friends over without asking or mentioning it. Those people, in turn, brought an additional person in. I took off to run an errand. I told them there were some snacks in the fridge and where the chips and salsa were. I was gone for less than 30 minutes. When I got back, what I saw made my blood run cold.

A freshly purchased bottle of high-end booze I had just brought home was 90% consumed. I also found out that about half that crowd was underage and they were now too tipsy to get themselves home. They had parked in my roommate’s wife’s spot and she had work that night. The next day they stumbled out around noon, leaving the place a mess.

Not one of them offered to help clean, and no one offered to replace or compensate us for any of the booze they had during their impromptu party. They were never invited back and the one time one of them tried to “just drop by” with another unwanted guest, they were asked to leave.

HeftyPockets

75. A Series Of Unfortunate Events

I worked the overnight shift. My brother was in town with no place to stay. I didn’t really want him at my place but it was cold out. While I was at work, he had a friend over. They drank a bunch of mini bottles and left them on the living-room floor. He dug through my closet and found two candles that were gifts I had planned on giving. He lit both and never blew them out.

He opened all the windows on one side of the ground floor apartment and turned up the heat. I left him a guest towel, as well as an extra one. I told him to wipe the bathroom floor because it would get slick. He used MY towels instead. I also had a tissue box in every room, but instead, he opened a new roll of toilet paper for said purpose.

I came home to the door ajar, lit candles, the furnace running, windows open, smoke butts and ashes in my place. I could easily have been evicted.

The1983Jedi

76. She Was A Wrong Number

When I had my first apartment, my friend’s older sister lived in the apartment below. The sister and her boyfriend were always fighting, and you could hear them through the floor. During one particularly bad fight, he broke their landline phone. So, she came to my door and asked if she could come inside and use my phone.

I told her she could and to make herself at home. I still can’t get over what she did next. While I was distracted by something, she unplugged my phone and took it down to her apartment. She didn’t give it back for a day and a half. I could hear her inside talking on it when I knocked on the door. Not only that, she just wouldn’t answer the door.

Mander0123456789

77. All Washed Up

I had a houseguest who was dating my roommate. He didn’t leave for six months. He ate all our cheese and used all our dishwasher tablets on “re-running the dishwasher because it had done a bad job.” Because he was dating my roommate, she undermined all our attempts at getting him to leave once we realized he was a freeloader.

Few_Cup3452

78. He Just Couldn’t Take A Hint

My sister and her best friend at the time were at our house hanging out. It was getting late, so she said he could stay the night and leave first thing in the morning. However, it was the type of offer that you don’t take someone up on, rather the host just says to be polite. He ended up staying for three days regardless of what my sister said to him to get him to leave without being rude.

He didn’t pick up on any hints that we didn’t want him there any longer and that he had overstayed his welcome.

elleyflley

79. He Was Running Me On Empty

I had a friend who became homeless after missing his rent and being evicted, which I didn’t know at the time. I offered him my couch for a few days to sort himself out. He kept leaving the air conditioner and all the lights on while I was at work. He also drank about $500 worth of my booze cabinet, left hairs all over, and never did his laundry. He just left it for me to do. But the final straw was yet to come.

That came when he started eating all of my food for work, which I had specifically told him not to do. I took my key back, locked the door, and told him to pay me about $250 for two weeks of rent, which is how long he stayed. He somehow came up with it and I gave him back his stuff. He then proceeded to leech from other friends for a few weeks before someone bought him a ticket home.

Ill_Royal9688

80. He Was Nothing But A Heartache

My cousin moved in with my grandparents. Things started off well. However, after about a month, he stopped doing his laundry and picking up his room. All he would do is work part-time and play video games until late at night. Then it all fell apart. He quit his job for another, then subsequently got fired from that one, and found another as a food delivery driver.

Even though he was working, he wasn’t helping my grandparents with any of the bills. Not only that but he was often gone during both the day and night, which made them worry. A few weeks passed, and he admitted to my grandfather that his “working” was actually him staying in the parking lot near their condo, just close enough to have the WIFI reach his phone for him to use it.

My grandparents were upset, as they were seeing him dig a deep hole for himself. My cousin would also text my brother and me pretty frequently to see if we could spot him a couple of hundred dollars, saying that he would pay us back. Knowing he never would, we never gave him a cent. Months passed and he met a girl online. Finally, it looked like things might change. He decided to move in with her.

He asked my grandparents if he could take their guest bedroom set to furnish the apartment where he and the girl were going to stay. He then went MIA for a couple of months. He showed up at my door out of nowhere and told us he was living about two and a half hours away. But, that didn’t last long. The next thing I knew, he was back home, back to square one.

The saddest part about all of it was that he sold the bedroom set my grandparents gave him, never paid them a cent for all of their troubles, and never gave them a thank you or an apology for giving them the unnecessary heartache he gave them. My grandfather still talks about my cousin with sadness in his eyes for what he put them through.

Darkvoider_96

81. Tinder Trouble

My roommate had asked me a month in advance if a girl, who was moving from another city, could stay over for a couple of days. They had only met virtually on Tinder a couple of weeks prior. I said yes. The week of, he asked me if she could stay a week. I sighed, but agreed. I didn’t know it yet, but I was in for a serious nightmare.

On the day of, my roommate called me at work and asked if she could bring her dog over and told me that she was on the way. I said absolutely not, but he guilted me into agreeing by saying she would be homeless if we didn’t let her stay. This girl stayed with us for a couple of days. That’s when I made a chilling realization.

I noticed she was neglecting the dog. It was severely underweight, it had blood in its stool, and she left the dog in its cage for up to 20 hours one day. I came home from work to find the dog had peed and pooped on itself and was starving. I ended up having to take care of the animal and all of its needs. She would come home, let the dog out to go, and put it back in the kennel.

I was furious one night and told my roommate that I did not care how homeless she was, she needed to get out or I was going to void my lease. He gave her $100 and told her to get lost and find a motel.

SerenityTranquilPeas

82. Kick You When You’re Down

I let my buddy live with me rent-free after I got him a job. When my brother had a traumatic brain injury and I had a week to decide if my brother was going to live or not, this is when my buddy started whining that he had to smoke in the garage and not the house. Then he proceeded to go to work (where I also worked) and talk about me and my personal life to anyone who would listen.

He did this while I was on medical leave to take care of my dying brother.

ButtsTooBigForDoggy

83. Snitches Get Witches

My aunt is going through a divorce after she’d been cheating on her husband for years. She comes to stay at her sister’s place, AKA my mom’s, while “coping.” This psycho witch drank nearly every drop of drink we had, left the fridge open and ruined a month’s worth of groceries, fell down our stairs and left a massive dent in the wall, and to cap it off, got in her car while drinking and pulled out before we could stop her, hit my car, and sped off.

My mom begged us to not call the authorities. Yeah no, I flipped on that witch immediately.

spehizle

84. It’s Getting Hot In Here

I had a friend from college over for the weekend as he was visiting the area. On Sunday night when he was supposed to drive back to his place, he had one too many drinks before leaving. This was in the middle of a brutally cold winter, mind you, and the roads in our area were already terrible to drive at the moment due to the weather.

So not wanting him to drive, I offered to let him crash for another night. I also pointed out that the roads might be better in the morning, too. He thought about it and agreed. So after another round or two, we both headed off to our beds around 10:30 pm. At 1 am I wake up to my house’s heat on full blast. Like, drenched in sweat under my blankets hot.

I get up to turn the temperature down, wondering what the heck is going on, and notice my front door just sitting open. The porch and hall light were on, as if advertising it to the world or anyone who may drive by. He’s gone and so are the rest of my drinks. My calls went straight to his voicemail. I saw him once or twice after that and he acted as if nothing had happened. Maybe he blacked out and doesn’t remember? But regardless, never again.

CrazyBoy2413

85. Double Or Nothing

I think it was me who was the horrible houseguest. I went to a friend’s house after a day of drinking once and promptly fell asleep on their sofa. I woke up in the middle of the night, disoriented, and fell butt-first into their glass coffee table, smashing it. I wish that was the end of it, but it wasn’t. I then threw up all over their sofa. I have never felt so ashamed in my life.

To be honest, they were really good about it and I obviously paid to fix the table and have the sofa cleaned professionally.

JaHizzey

86. Four’s Company

I had a college friend and her husband stay with us after my husband and I got married…like, literally the day after we got married. She asked when she got the wedding invite if it would be ok to stay with us since it would be tough for them to come otherwise. I wanted her to be at the wedding and we had stayed with them a few times when we were visiting back east, so I felt like we kind of owed it to them.

My husband had to work a couple days the week after anyways (new job at a new company) so we figured what the heck. They stayed with us for three days and it felt like a month. They complained about everything…how expensive everything was, the traffic, how small our house was, the food. We let them borrow our car for day trips and they complained about how outdated it was.

We went out to eat with them a couple of times and they treated the servers like garbage. They also expected us to pay for everything because they were our “guests.” The straw that broke the camel’s back was when they had a 6 am flight back to Pennsylvania and didn’t want to spend the $40 for an Uber ride to the airport. So they asked me if I wouldn’t mind taking them to the airport at 3:30 in the morning.

I said “screw it” because I wanted them out and I knew I would never see them again after that. Lesson learned.

Flimflamidy

87. Honest To A Fault

This woman I met on Match drove from South Carolina to Ohio to stay at my place for Labor Day weekend. She seemed normal, until I found out one extremely bizarre habit. Every time she took a poop, which was twice a day, she used an entire roll of toilet paper. And let me be clear, she did not use a lot of toilet paper; she used all the toilet paper.

The first night, she just stared at me, and stared, and repeatedly said things like, “God you’re gorgeous” (I am average-looking) and telling me all the things she wanted to do to me. Finally, just to shut her up, I initiated intimacy. As I was about to go in, she looks me right in the eyes and says in a demon’s gravelly voice, “If you put anything in my butt I will literally kill you.”

We did not sleep together that night, or any night. She then asked me to give her advanced warning of when I’d be going to bed. “Why?” I asked her. This is when she revealed that she is bipolar and would “literally never sleep” if she didn’t take her meds an hour before bedtime. It didn’t matter. I woke up alone—and hopeful that she had left. Nope.

Turns out she (in her own words) “stood unclothed in front of the living room window all night, sobbing.” I live in a second-floor apartment in front of a sidewalk. You’re welcome, neighbors! The second day was me trying to avoid her in my own apartment and her posting updates to Facebook during her two-hour-long poops and post-poop wiping.

“I’m okay, still alive!” was one such post. I asked her to leave that afternoon and she did, but when she got back to South Carolina she sent me an email asking if we didn’t sleep together all weekend because I’m gay? I assured her that I’m as straight as the day is long, but that I don’t usually prefer to have intimacy under the duress of physical threats. Then I dug the knife in.

I added that after realizing how much toilet paper she used that no one would ever want to go near her butt, anyway. Her final email reply said she respected my being brutally honest with her.

Blue_Swirling_Bunny

88. Revenge Of The Jocks

I had a very swole, extremely intimidating, and hostile roommate one year. I’m a very non-confrontational introvert, so it was inherently stressful, but I made it through the year laying low as much as I could. On move-out he takes my nice bike, which he knew was something I used daily and took care of. I wasn’t 100% sure it was him, maybe it just disappeared the exact day he moved out…

But then the same day he blocked me on anything I could contact him through. It felt like his last way of being a jerk and picking on me. Screw him.

spreadzer0

89. Just Passing Through

I was doing an extended dog-sitting for my in-laws while they were on a 45-day tour of Africa. Three weeks into the dog sitting, my father-in-law’s cousin, his new trophy wife, and his four kids showed up unexpectedly at their house and asked to stay overnight on their way back home from wherever they had been. We could not reach our in-laws in Africa, and my husband knew this cousin pretty well, so we decided to let them stay with us.

Instead of cooking for eight people with zero advanced notice, we opted to go out, and they asked if we could get sushi. At the end of the meal, the cousin’s wife says, “Thank you for taking us out, we can rarely afford sushi for the six of us, so this was a real treat.” I said, “Uh, what? We didn’t offer to pay for you, and if we were expected to, we would have gone somewhere less expensive.”

My husband paid the $400 bill to avoid conflict, but I will never go out to eat with that side of his family again. Also, their kids took every single Lightning cable and charging brick they could find. Little jerks.

fgirt

90. Crowded House

My sister is…a card. No one in my family makes the best decisions, I admit. But my sister would easily win the yearly family award for bad decisions. So one day, she asked if she could come up to Iowa from Texas for a few weeks, a month at most. Now, I live with my mother. My dad had pretty advanced cancer before he went into the night.

My mom’s got early-onset dementia. I pleaded with my mom that if my sister asked to stay, we would firmly decline. Big surprise, my sister didn’t bother to outright ask or make plans. She just asked my mom how would she feel about her showing up for a bit. Four days later, surprise! She lives here now along with her five-year-old son.

At this point, we have four people in a two-bedroom house. She takes over my mother’s room and displaces her into a backroom with no heating in the middle of winter. She refuses to pay a single bill or lift a finger for chores. She applied for food stamps, put all of our names on it without our permission, then throws a huge fit if we ask for her to use them for anyone but herself.

She gets her pain medications at the start of the month, which just so happens to be the only time she has “narcolepsy” until she runs out of them. At which point she demands rides to the hospital to scam them for more medications. I catch her taking jewelry. She’s barely taking care of her son, my nephew, and she treats our mother like garbage because of an “all my problems are your fault” mentality.

This went on for 18 months until I had enough and got the authorities involved. I had her stuff put on the curb so she couldn’t take what wasn’t hers. Handed her $500 for the trip back south and told her to get out and never return.

splatterking01

91. Big Only Child Energy

My ex!!! I let him stay with me for a couple of nights after we had only been seeing each other for a couple months. It ruined our relationship. I dumped him after the second night. He literally ate all my food and didn’t buy anything, left skid marks in the toilet twice, threw a cloth down the toilet which you can’t flush…I have no idea why he did this.

He asked me to buy him a Deliveroo as it’s easier to apparently pay by cash, even though he earns over $100k a year. He didn’t wash up, never offered to make me a drink or help with anything. Used up all the hot water…He said my bed was uncomfortable, made fun of the movies and series I watched on Netflix. I couldn’t believe how selfish and disgusting he was.

I snapped at him and he genuinely didn’t understand why I was mad. He called me cruel and selfish. Now he’s somebody else’s problem.

DaisyFayeLove

92. Leggo My Lego

My mother’s cousin. Her husband and son came from India to come see all the family, and I think they spent about a week with us before moving onto their next stop. The son was about my age at the time, I reckon about eight years old, but he was a little jerk. Years later, my dad told me he wanted to throttle him a few times. Me trying to be polite, after a talking to from my dad about how we treat guests, was doing my best to get along with him.

We were playing on the PS1 when he says he needs to go to the toilet, so I pause and wait. After about five minutes, I’m thinking OK maybe he’s gone for a poop. After 10 minutes, I’m thinking, darn, this kid can poop! After 15 minutes, I’m told to go see if he’s OK. I walk up the stairs and see the bathroom door is wide open, so I call his name. His reply surprised me.

His response comes from my room. Oh God, I think. I dart in and this fool has got every LEGO aeroplane, car, truck and transformer from my LEGO airbase that I must have spent at least six weeks building. They’re all in one hand and he’s got them all stacked together. As I open the door and see him, he pauses, looks me right in the eye, and crashes all the models into the ground, destroying all my hard work.

Many people would probably say I should let this go with it just being about LEGO, but no! Screw that little jerk.

deepus

93. Wild Night

My family and I were going on a trip and told a family friend he could crash at our house while we were gone. Nonetheless, my parents said he would have to take care of things and pay for his own food and such. Halfway through our trip, we get a call from the authorities. Apparently, he threw a huge party and trashed the house, then proceeded to take one of our cars and drive it through the front of the house, totaling the car and collapsing most of the front wall.

This was last week. We had to cut our trip short and come home to deal with this. We are currently in the process of pressing charges.

Permalink

94. Easy Ultimatum

This guest let my new very old, very deaf foster dog out of the gate on purpose, and the dog took off up the street. He just stood there smirking while I grabbed my shoes and keys. After I shouted at him for being a moron, he told me that it was for the best and maybe I should focus my time on other things. I eventually caught up to the terrified and exhausted dog and brought her back home, then told my guest to pack his bags and get out.

ComfyInDots

95. Future Psychopath Alert

I was a kid, probably 9 or 10, and my mom had a friend and her son over for lunch. The kid disappeared for about 10 minutes, and at the time I thought he had gone to the bathroom because I really had to go. So when he came back I quickly maneuvered my way past him into the room before the bathroom, where we had a fish tank.

This would be completely irrelevant if the fish tank wasn’t cloudy and swirling about. At first glance, I didn’t know what it was, until I noticed smashed and ripped apart pieces of little fish faces moving around in the swirl. The kid had reached into the fish tank and squeezed the ever-loving life out of every single fish in that tank.

eta5minutes

96. Make Yourself Less at Home

Asked a couple, who are friends of my BF, to watch my home for a little less than two weeks. I left my home sparkling clean, fridge packed full of their favorite goodies, movie tickets, gift certificates, bottles, and my car to use as they pleased (since neither of them have their own car or live on their own). Upon returning home around 10:00 p.m., after 20+ hours of flights and traveling…I found a scene out of a horror movie.

The house was filthy. The floor was covered in dirt. Counters were crammed with stuff as if they pulled everything out from the cabinets and left them. Bottles were left empty on every surface. Pistachio nut shells were thrown on the floor and left strewn on my bedside table and bedroom dresser. And I’m just getting started…

Their dirty underwear was just left on the bathroom floor. The kitchen sink was FILLED with nearly all of my dishes, which had been used and left dirty. Most of my Tupperware was now in the fridge filled with their leftover food. My patio furniture was pulled into my bedroom and used as a game set-up with my bedroom TV moved to a different spot. Still not the worst part…

They left “love oil” on my nightstand. They somehow broke my washing machine. They threw out all of my “chemical” cleaning supplies and replaced them with “organic cleaning supplies” (aka vinegar and water). When we got into my apartment, they said, “Wow it’s so weird to have you here. It’s like this was OUR house, and now it’s yours.” Like, GIRL this was always my freaking house. How could you forget that so quickly?!

They seemed in no rush to leave. They sat in the living room and opened up some brews. I didn’t rush them out. I also did not bother to help them clean up their huge mess. I was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch while my boyfriend awkwardly made small talk and unwillingly hung out. The next morning, I finally thought it was all over—then the girlfriend sent me an insane text just to twist the knife. She says she thought it was disgusting and rude of me not to wear a bra when I fell asleep (implying that I was trying to turn her boyfriend on).

First of all, I was wearing a friggin’ bra. Also, if I didn’t want to wear a bra to go to bed, I don’t need to because I’m in my own freaking house. There are so many more things they did that irritated me. These are just a few I can remember right off the bat.

yayhotdogs

97. Their Stay Went Viral

We had some good friends stay at our house while we were out of town for the holidays. We came home to a clean house, maybe cleaner than we left it. Two nights later, our toddler woke up and couldn’t stop throwing up. We took her to the emergency room. She stabilized after about five hours or so, just enough time to ring in the New Year under the fluorescent lights.

But then, things for weirder. A few days after, I started feeling like I had a kidney stone or something. I had pain at first, then fever and chills started up. I ended up going to the emergency room as well. I had a bunch of tests done, multiple IV bags of fluid, etc. They hadn’t figured out what was wrong when my wife called saying she wasn’t feeling well either. I knew it all had to be connected.

After about a week or so, we were all better, so we went on with our lives. About a month later, we were recounting our illness events to a mutual friend. That’s when we finally learned what had really happened. He said, “Oh, wasn’t that right around the time our friend was in town? We never got to see them because they all had Norovirus that week.”

That sure explained the number of sheets that were changed at the house and a couple of not quite dry spots on the bedroom carpet. A heads up before we got home would have been appreciated.

WitnessMe

98. The Creepiest Staycation

There was an older woman who checked into my hotel on my second week of being there. She definitely should not have been independent. She lived in town and booked a room for a week. She said that she was getting her house renovated because it was infested with “fiberglass.” She was probably in her 70s. She would walk around with one of those surgical masks and wore yellow rubber gloves.

As the week went on, she started to wear bandages on her arms—we think she was scratching herself, I bet if we asked it would have been because of the fiberglass. She shouldn’t have been able to drive. but she kept going to and from her house to get more things, basically was moving in. Our hotel was on a main road, and she would just back up into it without looking.

It was a miracle she never got into an accident. But other than that, she would spend most of her time in the room, and occasionally would walk to the office and just spout crazy stories about fiberglass and how it was everywhere and all over her room. Once the week was up she extended her stay another five days because her house wasn’t ready yet.

She repeatedly declined maid service so we could never really get a glance of the condition of the room, yet she would keep complaining that her air-conditioning had “fiberglass all over it.” One of the days, she came to the door complaining that the room was infested with spiders and she showed a tissue that she said had “spiders in it,” but there was nothing.

Like really sad stuff. Unfortunately, since we didn’t really have any real way of helping her, my boss advised me to tell her that we are booked solid for the rest of the summer, etc., so she couldn’t extend her stay any longer. We waited out those last few days dealing with her complaining and occasionally catching glances at the room as the maids brought her towels and such.

From what we saw there were pillows everywhere, a big bag of like perfumes, pills, etc. sprawled out on the dresser (like sooo many random things), etc. She was seen a few times carrying large garbage bags into the room we weren’t sure what was in them. Just imagine a room that a mentally ill person had been staying in.

She also had a few weird interactions with guests that made them complain, so we really could not wait until she was gone. But this is the freakiest part, where we get to the answer to what we found after a guest’s stay: IT WAS SPOTLESS. On her last night, we think she climbed out the window (first floor) and put stuff in her car and left—stealing the key too, but that’s common enough, we just replace them.

We went back and looked on camera and she was not on camera leaving at all, and the night manager did not see her leave. If you leave the regular way, you have to be seen by the manager, the office is in the front and it’s a small hotel. The only way she could have done it was through the window. Every worker at the hotel was so curious to see what the room was like after she was gone.

It was insane, clean, with nothing broken except the air conditioner air filter (the one she’d said had fiberglass all in it). Other than that not much else. We still had a third party clean the room, but it was freaking weird man. My boss said she drove by the address and it was a beautiful house that must have cost a couple million, minimum, and there was like a metal trailer in the driveway.

We think she started living in that after the hotel. Sad, and just so, so bizarre. I really hope she got some help or something. There really wasn’t much we or I specifically could do, so we had to just move on.

homiej420

Worst Thing Found in Hotel FactsShutterstock

99. Side Chicks

When I was a poor college student my wealthy cousin and his wife went on vacation and offered to let me house sit to give me a break from my three slovenly roommates. They live a few towns over in a very nice house with a huge front lawn and a fancy, tall iron fence with double gates. The fence and gates are about 11 feet high. You have to have a remote to open the gates.

That first night I slept so well! I breakfasted like a king and then drove to school. I got back around five, made a supper fit for a king, and settled down to write an Econ paper. My cousin has a warning system for when someone driving turns off the road and comes up to the gate. There’s a chiming sound and you can look at screens in a couple of different rooms to see who it is so that you can buzz them in.

I was deep into my paper when I heard the chime. I was confused at first and check my phone before I realized what it was. I looked from the sofa and could see a movement on the security screen. I stood up and got closer and had a clear view of two women getting out of a white car. One tried to squeeze between two bars of the gate—impossible—and then the other woman tried to boost her over the top of the gate—hilarious.

The top one fell and even from the house I could hear swearing. I was about to press the intercom button and ask WTF was their problem but I was chuckling at their antics and just watched silently. They peered at the house intently from between the bars like a couple of jailbirds for a while. The skinnier one actually stripped down to her bra and panties and tried to squeeze through the bars again. No dice. Chest and butt were not allowing that to happen. More swearing.

Then, as the skinny one got dressed again, the bigger one went back to her trunk and got out a tire iron. As soon as she started with the hinges of the gate I was calling 9-1-1. The officers took too long and the women left. I showed them the video but they couldn’t get a license plate number. When my cousin and his wife returned the next week I told them what happened and we watched the tape. He said that he had no idea who the women were but his wife looked furious. I packed up, thanked them for my “vacation” and left.

She divorced him that summer.

CarlSpencer

100. Sleepover

My fiance had a longtime friend of his (who happened to be female) who was staying the night. She was sleeping in the basement bedroom and we were upstairs. Well, he slipped out of bed in the middle of the night and woke me up. When he noticed, he told me he had to go to the bathroom. I guess I already had my suspicions, because I lay there and listened to him walk down the hall, then past the bathroom, and down the stairs.

So, I followed. And caught him in the basement getting ready to sleep with her. Oh. I was not a happy puppy. Was stupid and tried to salvage our engagement, but I wasn’t “fun anymore” and he left.

Ilunibi

Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

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