The Worst Second-Hand Embarrassment Stories

It feels awful to do something silly and be the center of attention for an unwanted reason—so one would think that seeing it happen to someone else for a change would be cause for relief. Turns out, not so much. A lot of the time, witnessing something super embarrassing happen to someone else can be even more cringe-worthy than a firsthand mishap. You’d be surprised how far this awkwardness can go–and these Redditors had to learn that the hard way.


1. Quick Thinking

My friend once peed herself in the middle of a busy pizza parlor back when we were in middle school. We were all sitting at a very publicly visible table when it happened. The only thing I could think to do was dump my glass of coke all over her to cover it up before anyone noticed. Thankfully, it worked. That would not have been a pretty scene…

bigsammm

2. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

I used to go fishing a lot with my dad and brother-in-law. My dad had been going through cancer treatments for the past several years and it had really taken a toll on his body. This had a rather embarrassing consequence. He had been getting older and the cancer treatments had caused him to have to poop without much warning at all.

Well, we are all fishing one day in his boat, and all of a sudden, my dad says “uh oh.” We had no idea what was about to happen. We see him shuffling around on the front deck and then proceeding to drop his pants, hang on to the front seat on the deck, and poop all over the front deck, not even coming close to the edge of the boat.

At this time, my brother-in-law starts puking off the back. And at the same moment, I catch a fish! Soooo I am reeling in a fish, my brother-in-law is puking, and my dad is unloading quite possibly the biggest poop I have ever seen onto the front of the boat. But that wasn’t even all. After I realize what has happened, I look around and notice that some random whole family has gathered on their back porch.

They have been watching this all unfold in front of them while they were having a big grill out of maybe about 12 guests. My dad passed this past Christmas eve, and this is by far one of the funniest memories I have of him. Thankfully, he was not too embarrassed by it. In fact, he thought it was funny. So I felt like the internet could use the laugh by hearing this story.

amaddenmk4

3. Not-So-Hot Mic

During my junior year in college, I was taking a demographics class. It was a pretty big class, and we had about 100 students in a lecture hall. The teacher used a wireless clip-on mic. One day, she gives us an assignment and leaves the room. Unbeknownst to her, she had left her mic on by accident. No one was prepared for what we heard.

For the next five minutes, 100 students listened to the sounds of our 60-year-old, female teacher taking the most massive, loud dump in the history of mankind. It was piping through the speakers at full volume. Every single student was in one of those full “I’m laughing so hard I’m crying” types of uncontrollable fits. The sounds that came out of that woman were ungodly.

fah_cue

4. Button Up Your Overcoat

I live in the United Kingdom. One time, I was on a train going between London and Manchester and went to use the bathroom. The toilet at the end of the carriage was disabled-accessible, so it had a wide curved door that automatically opened at a steady and slow pace. I would say the pace took about 20 to 30 seconds to complete, uninterruptible, retracting in a semi-circle to allow wheelchair access to the carriage.

If you’ve traveled on these trains before, you’ll know that in order to close the door you enter the stall, push a button to indicate you want the door to close, and then when it’s finished closing you press another button to lock it. Apparently, someone had not told this to the lady in the loo. Just as I arrived, another person coming from the other direction pushed the outside button to open the door and it started its inevitable arc.

For at least 30 excruciating seconds, the button pusher, myself, and eventually everyone sitting in the packed commuter carriage beyond who was facing in our direction, got to see a live performance of the woman on the toilet bending up from the seat, reaching and hopping to the other side of the cubicle, and desperately pummeling the door-close and lock buttons inside as frantically as she could.

But the slow opening and closing process is uninterruptible, so nothing happened when she pressed them. Her pants were around her ankles the whole time. White bottom flashing. At a merciless pace, the door opened fully, contemplated its life, and then closed on the pitiful image within. The button pusher and I both looked at each other, said nothing, and went back to our seats.

Taswegian

5. Come Fly With Me

One day while I was on a flight with my family, my brother was flirting with a flight attendant. All good, right? Ha! He had missed a crucial detail. She clearly thought he was mentally handicapped. And while he did not realize this, I did. I did nothing to help. It started with him referring to another attendant as “the lady in the red dress” and it just got worse and worse.

At one point, she asked if our parents were with us. He pointed to the row they were in, and she said “Wow! That’s great that you’re not sitting with them!” He replied “Yeah, I do stuff without them all the time.” I could hardly keep my laughter contained at this point. I let him know the full story when we were getting the rental, and he was crestfallen.

allincaps

6. Cup And Away

I went with my dad to get a blizzard at Dairy Queen one day. Now, my dad can be very particular about what he likes. These events are few and far between, but he knows what he wants. What he doesn’t want is the cashier flipping the blizzard over to show that the ice cream is so cold it’ll stay in the cup. I’m assuming that since minimum wage fast food life sucks, these young kids are required by policy to do the signature flip.

We’re in the drive thru, we pay, we get our ice cream, and the kid flips it. My dad flips out. It certainly wasn’t meant to be directed at the kid, but I definitely was mouthing “I am so sorry” to this kid as my dad rambled on about napkins and how the cup dribbles when it’s flipped over. As we drove away, I had to explain to my dad that there’s a 90% chance the kid hates his job, and if he does, it’s 100% because of customers like him.

dancingoppie1223

7. Aren’t You Forgetting Something?

When I was in sixth grade, the entire class was at a public indoor swimming pool one day. I’m kicking back with two friends in the men’s sauna, and we decide at one point to hit the showers just to make it even more awesome to reenter the sauna. So there we are, totally naked, when my friend decides to go for a swim with the rest of the class, so he happily jogs out to the pool.

I still to this day have a picture printed in my mind of his pale, bare butt leaving the men’s locker room. I realized it just before he was out of my sight, but, well, I thought not telling him would be funnier. A minute later, he emerges from the doorway screaming “uh oh,” with his face as red as a tomato and both hands covering his private area.

My other friend and I completely lost our minds with laughter. Apparently, he made it all the way into the pool and swam for a good 10 seconds before it dawned on him that he had forgotten to put his bathing suit back on.

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8. The Sound Of Silence

I have very conservative, reserved parents. We did not discuss “adult” topics in my house growing up. And even now, I’m 31 years old and married with a baby, yet still the word “sex” is just not something my parents are comfortable uttering in my presence. I am telling this to set the scene. About four years ago, I was visiting my parents.

I was with my mom in a spare bedroom, sorting through something or other, and we suddenly heard this noise. It was like a low, humming noise. We ran all over the house trying to pinpoint it. We finally isolated it to the wall between her room and the spare room we were in. I went into her room and was looking around. Suddenly, it dawned on me.

The noise was coming from my mother’s dresser, and there’s really only one thing that makes that noise from a woman’s dresser. “Hey, mom?” I called out to her. She was in the next room, tearing apart a desk trying to find the noise. She replied: “Yeah?” I awkwardly asked: “Mom…Do you have an…adult toy in that drawer?”

My mother, my tiny little 5’1″ tall mother, came tearing into the room and shoved my fat self out the door, slamming it along the way. I heard a drawer open, and then the noise immediately stopped. About a minute later, my mom came back out and just looked me in the eye with a completely straight but bright red face, and said “Of course I don’t have a…(she whispered just this word) toy. That sound was my toothbrush.”

Obviously, she was completely embarrassed. Naturally, now, whenever I fly down to visit, I make sure to remind her to brush her teeth.

parsnippity

9. Bathroom Break

I used to work the door in a country pub, and one of the bouncer’s duties at the end of the night was to ensure that the venue was empty of patrons. In other words, I had to check that no one had passed out under the pool table. It’s happened, by the way. We would always check that no one was hiding in a corner in the dark, no one passed out in the toilet, etc.

One night, we’re clearing the venue out and find a guy sleeping with his backside glued to the can and the door locked. We do a lot of shouting through the door and get him woken up enough to respond to us. Unfortunately, his responses mainly consisted of “Uhhhhngngngng” and “Heeeeerggggehhhh.” Eventually, we get the bathroom door open, and my jaw dropped. 

We find this guy, smashed out of his mind, reclining on the toilet with his pants around his ankles and his bare behind shoved in the can. He was not having us telling him the place is shut and that he has to leave. His counter argument to, “Mate, it’s time to get up and go home, come on,” was, “Screw off. Leave me alone.” No one wanted to touch this filthy, partially unclothed intoxicated fellow in order to drag him out.

And to be honest, we were also concerned about his dignity. Turns out there was a lot of potential embarrassment if we had to cart his uncooperative behind off the John and prop him up in the street. But this back and forth took so long that eventually the boss gets the heck up and barges into the toilet himself. He bellows, “ARE YOU GOING TO GET UP?” The man again says: “Screw off.” He regretted those words.

The boss goes “Right then,” grabs an armpit in each hand, and heaves this recalcitrant bloke off the can. Every staff member still in the bar cops an eyeful of the boss carting this bloke out of the toilet, the poor guy’s tackle flapping about in the breeze for all to see. As he drags him towards the front door, we all get to experience an eyeful of this guy’s poop-stained butt, complete with a square of toilet paper pressed firmly to one cheek.

By the time the boss had gotten him to the front door, the dude’s adrenaline had kicked in and he’d miraculously regained his physical functions. He very quickly adjusted his clothes and then staggered off into the night. Poor fella. At least it was only the staff that witnessed his ordeal. I can imagine he’s done his best to try and forget it ever since…

Heathenforhire

10. Falling For You

A girl in my math class got her time of the month while wearing white pants. Apparently, she didn’t notice it right away, so by the middle of class, there was a huge bloodstain all the way down the back of her pants, almost down to her knees. When someone finally pointed it out to her, she jumped up, intending to go to the bathroom. That’s when it went from bad to ugly.

On her way to the door, she tripped and went sprawling onto the floor by the teacher’s desk. She went down pretty hard, so now everyone’s attention had been attracted and the whole class was staring at her. The teacher had been doing a problem on the board, oblivious to the situation, and finally looked back as another student was helping her up.

He immediately saw the blood on her pants and freaked out, assuming that she had cut herself when she fell. He ran over to his desk and called the front office, then an ambulance, ignoring the students trying to explain the situation. Then, another twist. The girl was crying her eyes out from humiliation at this point, which only added to the teacher’s belief that she was in pain and that this was an emergency situation.

Eventually, the nurse and the vice principal arrived with a stretcher they must keep on the premises for emergencies. They demanded the girl get on the stretcher so they could wheel her to the front of the school to wait for the ambulance. Nothing the girl or any of the other students said made a difference at this point. So, finally, she got on the stretcher, bawling her eyes out, and they took her away.

I cringe at the thought of her having to eventually explain the mistake to everyone…

Brownie_scout

11. The Show Must Go On

My high school was in New Jersey and it was the Thanksgiving Day football game.  We had the biggest turnout for any game all year, including students, parents, and guests. The audience was standing room only, even though it was very cold outside. Half time comes, and the high school band plays. The band in our school used to win practically every competition they competed in, and were very good.

The band director was kind of an uptight stickler. He would tell everyone in the band that he had only one rule–no matter what happens, you don’t get out of formation. If you do, you’re out of the band. That rule kind of sucked for one of the flag girls at this event, who happened to be right out in front. They wore tight bodysuits covered by a very thin mesh white shirt, and that was covered by the band uniform.

Halfway through the routine, all the flag girls took off their jackets as part of the show. Hers got caught on her shoulder while she was taking it off. This only put a small hole in the mesh shirt, but it completely ripped the shoulder part off of the bodysuit. Out popped her breast, and she performed the rest of the show, in front of 1,000 people, with it on full display.

She never left the field or moved from her position, for fear of losing her spot in the band, and that idiot bandleader never even bothered to run out there and get her a jacket. As soon as the performance was over, he handed her one. The entire audience was in shock and I felt so bad for the poor girl who was stuck in that situation.

GodlessMe

12. Now The Whole Neighborhood Knows

I was woken up one morning to a man screaming underground in my neighbor’s backyard. He had been intoxicated the night before and got into a fight. He was dumped in a sewer system over two miles away from my house. The beaten man came out of the manhole caked in the thickest dirt coat and in critical condition. Turns out that was the cause of the screaming that my neighbors and I all got to witness…

MegaThrustEarthquake

13. Lost In Translation

This was pretty much equally embarrassing for both me and the other person involved. I was working in a collector’s comic book store and a regular customer, Bill, wheeled up to the counter. Bill was a quadriplegic who operated his wheelchair with a wand that went from the top of his head to the chair’s joystick. I was alone behind the counter.

Bill said something. It sounded like a question, but I couldn’t be sure. I asked him to repeat it. He did. I had no clue what he said. I said, “I’m sorry, once more?” Again, I couldn’t make out a single word he was saying. This went on more times than I’d care to remember. But he wanted whatever he wanted and wasn’t about to give up, and I had no way out of the situation.

So it just went on and on for I have no idea how long, but at the time it felt like an eternity. After about the tenth or twentieth repetition, I was silently begging for a major earthquake, or for someone to shoot me through the head. It was so excruciating that I don’t even remember how it ended, although I do know that I never figured out what he was trying to say. Not a single word.

This happened in 1972, yet my skin is crawling right now just from remembering it…

wayndom

14. Being Cartoonishly Silly

I’m usually the subject of first-hand embarrassment, but this time…A local radio station I listened to hosted some kind of Christmas charity event, where the DJs stood outside some kind of children’s charity drive and talked about it to the people giving donations. They had been playing music in between, asking people their names and talking about how much they had given.

Stuff like: “Thanks to Dave from Cityville for the 300 bucks. Say hi, Dave!” Dave: “Uhhh, hi. You’re welcome, happy holidays!” The cringe begins when a guy named Josh comes in to give some money to the charity. DJ: “Wow, Josh has given us $3,000. The most generous donation of the day!” Josh: “Yeah, haha, I did. So how much do you have now?”

DJ: “Thanks again, Josh, and I think that puts us at $10,000!” Josh: “No no no, I mean after what I gave you how much do you have.” DJ: “We have 10,000 in donations, Josh” Josh: “No, I mean, what number did my donation put you over?” At this point, I’ve gone from confusion to realizing what Josh is trying to get the DJ to say. I’m actually facepalming for him when it hits me.

DJ: “Well, before you donated we had about… eight thousand?” Josh: “No, no. That’s not what I mean.” DJ: “I don’t…quite know what you’re getting at, Josh.” Josh: “Get it? Now you have over nine thouuusand!” DJ: “Umm, what?” Josh: “Get it? After what I gave you, you have over nine thousand!” DJ: “Yeah, I don’t…” Josh: “Like there’s this show called Dragon Ball Z, and the guy in it … he says over nine thousand. Haha!”

DJ: “Ohhh right, right. Yeah, alright then.” Basically, a guy donated thousands in charity over the radio just to get the DJ to say “we have over nine thousand” because he was a fan of a random cartoon show where they use that phrase. I’m pretty sure the DJ didn’t even get the joke, and then he still painstakingly tried to explain it to her while everyone listened and had no idea what was happening.

CryaoticxPapyrus

15. She Really Did A Number On Him…

I was in my high school journalism class. We were working late, trying to finish the paper. Prom was coming up. When everything was quiet, our editor suddenly breaks into a full-on song and dance number. He’s dancing on tables, singing (poorly), and throwing flowers everywhere. He makes his way over to this shy girl in the class, gets down on one knee, and asks her to the dance.

She says no. At that very moment, someone was finishing their soda, and it made that classic empty straw sound. Brutal.

ArtieLives5

16. Social Skills Were Not In His Vocabulary…

I was drinking at a friend’s house one night, as was my usual routine at that point in my life. Some of them decided to invite our new co-worker, this socially inept dude who was married to another co-worker who wasn’t hanging out with us that night. He was extremely excited about drinking with everyone, and started doing approximately one shot per minute while making really awkward and unnecessary statements.

Things like “Liquor. It’s the social lubricant,” as if he was pitching an ad on Mad Men. Eventually, he pronounced his love for this one girl, who is very unambiguously a lesbian. About 30 minutes after he got there, he passed out on the couch. The worst part is that he acted like it never happened the next day. Being around him was painfully awkward after that.

birdablaze

17. Thinking Things Through

An old friend of mine threw a party where he asked his girlfriend to marry him in front of everyone. She just awkwardly made a face and didn’t give a clear response. They then whispered to each other for a minute or so. Finally, he turned around and triumphantly announced “She’s going to think about it!” The crowd so awkwardly tried to politely applaud.

I had warned him not to do such a public proposal, but he did it anyway. My heart still aches for him even all this time later.

Sherlock–Holmes

18. The Chest Is Yet To Come

Well, it all started with finding black mold in our bedroom closet. We were all naive as to what removing black mold would entail, or I would have gutted my closet beforehand. Instead, I simply pushed everything to the side to allow them to get at the baseboards. I was sitting in the kitchen on the computer while the professionals assessed the situation and the degree of treatment.

I thought I should offer them some drinks, so I popped my head in to ask if they would like anything. I then noticed them removing everything from the closet and putting it all into garbage bags. I felt pretty bad, so I apologized for not doing that beforehand. I continued goofing off on my computer for 20 minutes or so. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

“Oh God, the pleasure chest!” This is just my nice way of describing the little cardboard box in my closet overflowing with adult toys, handcuffs, videos, and outfits. My mind was reeling with possible escape routes or the pure denial of “how did that get there?” Instead, I drummed up the courage to walk in there with the intent of extracting the embarrassing box before it got discovered.

As I poked my head around the corner, I was just in time to see one of them pull out a giant toy while the others realized what he was holding and started giggling. The guy who had pulled it out turned completely beet red, and his flushed face was visible from the other room where I was observing in horror. The obvious giggles continued to be audible as they began pushing the items from the box one by one into the garbage bags.

I ran down the hall and exploded in embarrassment to my then-husband about what was just discovered. He responded by smirking and telling me: “In their line of business, this can’t be the only awkward discovery they’ve had to make.” Regardless, I stayed out of sight until after they had all left. After they left, my husband came back laughing. He told me a truth that made my blood run cold.

Turns out the workers are a brother and sister duo, and they usually only work on removing mold from middle schools and churches. They were both in their early twenties. No wonder one of them looked so embarrassed. On the bright side, we definitely gave them a “You’ll never guess what happened to me at work today” story for the ages!

whyamihere0

19. When One Door Closes, Another Doesn’t Always Open

This just happened about two minutes ago, so I felt it was relevant to share. I went downstairs for a smoke and a coffee. While standing outside the door, I heard this huge crash behind me. It was really freaking loud. When I turned around, some chick had just walked full force into a glass door. There were three of us there to witness it.

I couldn’t help but feel pretty darn embarrassed for her, but let’s be real. It was also hilarious. I’m currently working on building security to see if I can get the video footage of the incident.

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20. Crash Landing

I worked in a crummy nightclub where we used to encourage the customers to dance on the tables. One night at about 2:00 in the morning, a huge woman had been throwing shapes on one table for about half an hour and decided that now was the time to make her move on some guy on the dance floor. She picks her moment, screams his name out, and announces over the music that she wants to take him home.

She then jumps off the table. Disaster struck instantly. Upon landing, her weight was enough to drive the heel on her shoes through the sole and about two inches up into her foot. The crowd gathered around to watch this scantily dressed giant of a human being roll around on the floor in agony, trying to reach her feet around her massive frame in order to pull the heel out. No one offered to help.

Gogsy1999

21. The Girl Who Cried Wolf

I was in a high school math class in ninth grade. Our teacher was a young man, barely older than the students and of a very small stature. He had just moved to the United States from the Philippines and had a considerable accent, although his English was perfect. He was the kindest teacher I have ever had, but the students took advantage of his kindness because he was too shy to do anything about it. It was pretty sad to watch.

There was one girl who would tell him she had “girl problems” a couple times a week so he would let her get out of class. He was embarrassed enough just at the request, but also because she clearly did not have her time of the month every day of the semester. Whatever the reason, he never called her on it. However, one day, he had had enough of being taken advantage of. He got his revenge, and it backfired.

The girl requested to leave class because of “girl problems” and he politely and tactfully said no. She persisted, and he still would not let her. Eventually, she stood up and ran over to the phone. She was wearing white jeans that day, and the entire middle area was soaked in blood. She called her mother to bring her fresh pants while everyone in the class awkwardly sat there and wondered what the heck you do in that situation.

The teacher’s face was bright red and he just turned his back to everyone and pretended that he was writing something on the chalkboard. The girl eventually left and did not come back.

jonah4342

22. Whoopsie-Daisie

It was the last day of school for my freshman year in high school. Last hour of the day to be precise. I had already finished up our exam for PE and everyone was waiting in the gym on the bleachers. There were easily two or three hundred kids in the gym. When the bell was close to ringing, this girl was walking down the bleachers from the top.

As she put her foot on the last bleacher, it dropped about a foot, sending her face first onto the gym floor. The whole gym went silent then everyone busted out laughing. The girl was so embarrassed that she cried as she ran out of the gym. I felt so bad for her. Even as a senior, kids still would walk up to her and reminisce about it to her, including kids she did not know. Kids can be hurtful.

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23. First Is The Worst

In high school, I had a super nice history teacher who would ask students to read just by stating their name without an intro. For example: “Today, we will be learning the first 10 digits of pi. Bob.” And Bob would know to begin reading. So one day, I am eating a sandwich in class and we are learning about historical Canadian atrocities.

She says “Today we will be studying some of the ugliest things in Canadian history. John.” Needless to say, I dropped my sandwich and started yelling “Burnnnnn!!!” until the entire class got the joke and erupted in laughter. For the next 45 minutes, the class took turns laughing, and we never went back to that lesson. John was known as “the ugliest thing in Canadian history” for the next two years of high school.

lordofall10

24. Just Horsing Around

So at this time of the story, I’m in Las Vegas, and tomorrow is my wedding day. Yeah, I know. The marriage only lasted two years, so it barely counts–but I digress. Anyway, we decide to catch a show at the Excalibur, the one with the horses and Merlin and jousting, etc. Nothing goes wrong the entire show, until the very end when the horses and riders are trotting around in a figure-eight doing their little “I’m a guy on a horse in a tin can, clap for me” routine.

All of a sudden, one of the horses does a little freakout, throws the rider down, and then proceeds to fall on top of him. The man is lying on his shoulder and the horse rolls on top of him, so that all four of its legs are up in the air. The full weight of this horse folding the guy in half the long way. It was nuts. So the guy is now unconscious. I don’t know how it got worse—but it did.

They get the horses off the fields. Merlin grabs the microphone and starts talking people down. He says how it’s very important for them to finish the show, please stay in your seats, we’ve only had like five accidents in the millions of times the show has been performed, yadda yadda yadda. He goes on like this for a while and everyone is feeling a little weird.

While Merlin is talking, this guy’s brother is having his own little freakout. He’s crying, ripping off and throwing his armor and helm, yelling at people, and just being super dramatic, which is sending some people running for the exits regardless of what Merlin and his three-foot-long beard have to say. A little ambulance pulls up to the guy who has been unconscious up until. Then the bottom drops out.

All of a sudden, the guy wakes up and starts shrieking. I mean blood curdling, unholy, inhuman shrieking. I still don’t think he was fully conscious. It just sounded and looked like some insane physical reaction. Well, that was it for the show. Everyone jumped up and took off for the exits, Merlin be darned. The guy’s brother (Merlin explained that a lot of families worked in the tournament circuit) starts freaking out even more and looks like he’s going to attack the medics.

But they got him on a board and started driving him out, still shrieking. We stopped by the Excalibur the next day to ask how the guy was. They said he was doing well. No idea if that’s the truth. So yeah. Not embarrassing in your usual “Oops, my top fell off” sort of way, but still pretty embarrassing to be a witness to this horror and having no way to help or comfort or anything. Not the right way to start off a marriage, anyway.

mukame

25. A Not So Smooth Ride

A friend was showing off on his BMX bike in front of some girls he was trying to impress. In the process, he got his low riding pants and boxer shorts caught on the front of the bike seat when he stood up. This simultaneously bared him to mid-thigh and caught him so he sat on the back wheel, which jammed him into the back of the seat while the nubbly bits tore out the hairs in his butt crack.

The pants also caught him, so his legs were pinned around the seat stem. This led to the bike tipping over with him still trapped on it. He was in total shock. And the girls were not very impressed.

theschwaa

26. It’s Payback Time

When I was about 13 years old, a friend and I were at this indoor skating rink doing everything in our power to impress all the girls there. We were both fairly shy, yet really overconfident. I finally got talking to a group of girls after some time. We were having a good time when my buddy walks up behind me and accidentally knocks a soda out of my hand and into three of the girls I was talking to.

He laughed and tried to make it look like it was my fault. He walked away, but I was mortified. So I came up with a plan. Fast forward about 30 minutes. He’s in the rink skating with a couple of girls and I proceed to pull his pants down from behind. Lucky for him, he was wearing boxer shorts that day. Lucky for me, they were loose. He was very embarrassed, in front of the whole rink.

wtfpwnedomglol

27. Sit Down, You’re Rocking The Boat

I was once stuck on a cruise ship for three days after my friend had proposed to his girlfriend on the first freaking day and she said no. In front of the whole boat. That same first night, she made out with some random guy in the hot tub. Also in front of a crowd. I’m honestly not sure how devastated my friend actually was, but it was intensified by the fact that he’d drink himself silly each and every day by about 2:00 in the afternoon.

This would usually lead to him going to beg her to get back with him. At one point, she was sitting on the new guy’s lap at the bar and he showed up. He grabbed her hand and “confessed his love for her” for what must have been the fifth time in two days. It was a constant battle of trying to pull him away and convince him to either go to sleep or come with us to another part of the ship.

He is a good friend, so I felt terrible for him because that was super lousy on her part. I tried to help him all he would allow, but it was awful to watch. And by the end of the cruise, the entire boat seemed like it knew what had happened. Days after getting back home, when I tried to bring the subject up with my girlfriend, who was on the cruise with us as well, she straight up refused to talk about it.

She said it was painful enough to watch someone go through at the time, so we never need to speak of it again.

b8le

28. Flash Mob Of One

I was in a class with about 50 other people when this really quiet guy abruptly stood up and started to play “Gangnam Style” out of his phone. He then started doing the dance with a wide grin on his face, as if this stunt was going to turn him into the coolest guy on campus in the eyes of his peers. There was only one little problem.

Nobody laughed. So, after a few awkward moments of this singing and dancing, he sat down and the lecturer proceeded to carry on with his lesson as if nothing had happened.

iscoregoals69

29. An A-Moo-Zing Story

When I was in the seventh grade, in Texas History class, we had an in-class assignment in groups of three that required us to read a passage from the textbook and then summarize it in the form of a skit for the class. I was grouped with a good friend who we can call Karen, and a girl who was known for being really socially awkward who we will call Janice.

Janice was that type of socially awkward that tried really, really hard to be “cool” but failed miserably, while also wearing a Naruto headband every single day. Our passage was about cattle herding and, for some reason, Janice got it into her head that it would be hilarious to hum the Star Wars theme song, but instead of regular humming, moo it.

Yes, she wanted to moo the Star Wars theme song at the end of the skit. She tried to convince us, but Karen and I did not want to get destroyed by our classmates, so we refused. When it was our turn, we completed our skit and started to sit back down. Just then, Janice looks at us and screams “PLEASE?!” and we both just shook our heads.

She burst into tears and explained that she had wanted to do something cool for the performance but we refused, so she asked the teacher if she could please do it on her own. The teacher told her to go ahead. Janice, still sobbing, stood in front of the class and moo-ed the entire Star Wars theme song. But the tune was now completely unrecognizable since she was sniffing and gasping in between moos due to her sobbing fit.

So we all just kind of sat there for a solid five minutes, watching this girl in a Naruto headband bawl and moo.

anovertureofcats

30. Go Fly A Kite

Airline pilot here. The captain and I had a guy from another airline riding in the jumpseat between us in the cockpit of a US airline jet. The captain was a bit of a blowhard loudmouth and decided to make a comment when he saw an Air India plane. He commented: “You know what I hate most about Indian women is that big red dot on their forehead.”

The jump seater immediately said, “My wife is Indian,” and produced a photo from his wallet of his family, including his Indian wife with the bindi on her forehead. The captain only made it worse. He squirmed by asking some nonsense like, “Is she from eastern India or southern India? Because I’m only referring to the ones from [such and such region] as being bad….”

My mind was cringing so horribly that I blanked out on the rest of the conversation. He deserved the embarrassment in this case, though.

uber_maddog

31. We Know What You’ve Been Up To…

During my government class senior year, the teacher made a comment about how we should stay off our phones in class and be careful about the things we send out. She then proceeds to pull up an image of a classmate’s tweet that says something along the lines of “this teacher is so dumb, this class totally sucks.” Ironically, the girl responsible for the tweet was on her phone at the time, so she didn’t see it pulled up immediately.

When the whole class fell silent, she finally looked up and turned bright red. The teacher kind of chuckled, and continued on with the lesson.

Cheenho

32. No One Involved Needed To Experience That…

I always get this feeling of second-hand embarrassment when I watch guys hit on girls unsuccessfully. One particularly painful example was a good friend of mine who is not the best when it comes to flirting, and he had just come out of a long-term relationship, so it’s safe to say he was more than a little bit rusty in that area.

At any rate, he makes a beeline toward this girl. I try to intervene and assure him that it will not work. For one thing, she was seeing someone. And on top of that, the girl’s friend had recently told me that my friend, the one currently making moves toward her, weirded her out a little. I pleaded and pleaded with him to just refrain from doing it.

But he was having none of it, as he thought I just wanted to take a crack at winning her for myself. Anyway, I watch helplessly as he moves towards her, slides up, and attempts to hold her hand. She looks mildly scared, so he says to her in a fairly loud voice “Don’t worry, I’ll just hold you.” At this point, I have to look the other way as I am actually losing my sanity out of embarrassment for him.

She then slowly starts moving away, looking quite fearful, and then briskly walks outside. He almost immediately comes back over to me and asks if he should go for her friend instead.

evanostefano

33. Sorry You All Have To Read This

This was during my freshman year of college back in 2006. One of my class requirements was a minority studies class, and the only one left was Women’s Studies. I figured it would be a perfectly okay class, and it honestly was. Except for one big problem. The problem was this guy in the class named Carter. Carter was the precursor to the modern-day “Ladies, I must apologize for my gender. Look at me, I’m such a good ally to women” type of guys.

Every time he raised his hand, you could see a lot of people in the room instinctively start to cringe even before they knew what he was going to say. Once, he had said something dumb and the professor had moved onto a new topic, when he raised his hand again. He then literally said: “I just wanna apologize again for what my gender does to women.”

I feel like everyone in the class was staring a hole through their desk because of how utterly embarrassing and awkward this guy was. The professor said, “Okay, um, well if that’s all you wanted to say, then let’s move on with the lecture…” And boy oh boy, thinking about that moment still makes me cringe every bit as hard as I did back then.

apocalypticradish

34. The Final Journey

The most embarrassing thing that I have ever witnessed in my life was watching a group of pallbearers lose control of a coffin they were carrying down a steep set of granite church steps after the funeral was over. An ice/sleet storm took place during the funeral service, so the steps were slick. Several pall bearers went down as the coffin landed on the granite steps and slid the rest of the way down to the sidewalk below. Fortunately, the lid didn’t come open.

But we all felt badly for them, as the look in their faces showed they were mortified.

Gamesforteenagers

35. It Wasn’t In Her Blood

My sister was an early bloomer and got her time of the month way before my parents had a chance to tell her what it was. I’ll never forget that infamous day. She was dropped off by the school bus and I could hear kids laughing and screaming at her, pointing out that her white shorts were completely covered in blood. Unfortunately, it didn’t end there.

There was also another related thing that I witnessed her go through. We went to a summer camp around that same time. She was still embarrassed about her advanced body and would hide her hygiene products in her backpack. This includes the ones that she had already used. We slept outside in sleeping bags but had a “teepee” to put our bags and stuff in.

One day, after activities, the kids in her “teepee” noticed a giant trail of ants going over to her stuff. When she wasn’t there, they emptied her bag, finding dozens of used bloody products. They took them and pinned them to the surrounding trees, throwing them at people and screaming at her for being gross. I think it scarred her for life.

EpicPickle

36. A Practical Costume

At my girlfriend’s 21st birthday party, we took a bunch of friends to a bar to celebrate. One of her friends bought her a shot, and my girlfriend doesn’t take shots very well. My girlfriend takes the shot, and about five seconds go by when, all of a sudden, she throws it up right onto the bar floor in front of everyone. Luckily, I went as Fat Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and I had a garbage bag with me (for Fat Mac’s burritos) that was immediately repurposed.

Justintime91811

37. Picking Up The Pee-ces

In middle school, I watched a girl accidentally pee herself in class. She was too afraid of the teacher to ask to go to the bathroom. We all pretended it didn’t happen and eventually our teacher ushered everybody outside except her, and then helped her clean up. Ironically, that guy was the sweetest, nicest teacher in the entire school.

Looking back, that girl displayed all the characteristics of someone who is being seriously mistreated at home.

Marinaisgo

38. Sealed With A…What Now?

One time, I was at a party with a friend and he had clearly found a girl that he liked. After flirting with her for quite some time, he finally leaned in to kiss her. He picked the wrong moment to do that. They had both been drinking, and the moment she leaned back towards him to begin the kiss, he hurled all over her face. It was not a pleasant sight to behold.

blaine_the_mulleted

39. Handing Down A Punishment

I knew this guy who was a secret atheist but living in a Christian household. One day, his mother walked in on him pleasuring himself, and instead of leaving his room mortified, she just sternly walked up to him and slapped his parts away from his hand. She berated him for a good hour. The next day, he went to protective services and had her charged for inappropriately touching him.

Technically I didn’t directly witness this, but I still feel sooo embarrassed on his behalf.

Oafah

40. The Mad Dash

When my husband and I first met, we would have, er, intimate relations at least three times a day. When I got my time of the month, we decided not to let that minor detail get in the way. Anyhow, apparently menstruating-woman-on-top is a horrible idea. Things got pressurized, and when I stood up, blood spewed everywhere, all over my new boyfriend.

I screamed, “DON’T LOOK! DON’T LOOK!” and scampered, naked, across the hall into the bathroom for toilet paper. My boyfriend followed soon thereafter. We scampered across that hall three times before we realized that his roommate was awake, watching from his bedroom the whole time. He later remarked: “I heard you say ‘don’t look,’ so I had to look!”

Even though I was the one who should have been most embarrassed, I somehow felt even more awkward for my future husband having to live with someone who had witnessed that.

Permalink

41. No Laughing Matter

I can honestly say that the most intense secondhand embarrassment that I’ve ever felt was watching “The Situation” (one of the people from the show Jersey Shore) completely suck during his comedy performance at the Donald Trump roast. He got almost no laughs from the audience and I was physically uncomfortable while watching that.

Rickerbocker

42. Wrong Time, Wrong Place

In high school, there was a guy that was morbidly obese. I mean this guy was really big. To make a long story short, he got stuck in a chair in the gym one time and had to be removed from it by a team of adults. God, I’ve never felt so bad for someone. But that’s not the worst part. The entire auditorium witnessed this, too, because it was during an assembly…

Permalink

43. Dressing For Success

I was on Erasmus in Spain, which is a foreign exchange program between schools in Europe. The center of Sevilla isn’t open to cars, so we all just had bikes to get around when we drank. Once, a friend of mine went on the bike with her dress on. Along the way, it got stuck in the chain and her dress was ripped completely off. It was an awkward walk home…

Botshoepro

44. Toying With Your Heart

I worked at an adult video shop for six years, so I have plenty of those kinds of stories. But the one that will always stand out in my mind as the time when I experienced some intense second hand embarrassment was when the older married couple came in and bought a very steamy video and a very large toy. The look on the wife’s face when paying at the counter will forever haunt me.

MrRushing

45. The Wrong Time For Growing Up…

I was on a dance team and we were all in black. But one girl, she wore white by mistake. And she happened to be having her “time of the month” for the very first time, in that costume, while we were on stage…

HAYHAY22

46. Sitting In The Hot Seat

I was once having lunch at a restaurant with a friend who was in ill health. During lunch, she passed gas very loudly. Next thing we knew, a strange fluid was leaking through her slacks and onto her chair…

DarthContinent

47. Popping The Question

I watched a friend propose to his long-time girlfriend. It went so, so badly. It was at a huge science fiction convention and my friend, whom we’ll call “Brad,” had been dating this girl and costume maker for many years. We’ll call her “Janet.” Brad was nearly 15 years older than her. He was in his late 30s, and she was in her early 20s.

She was a little quiet and reserved, to say the least. It always seemed like she was bored and not very interactive around him. He always did the kissing, the hand holding, and so on. And she always just stood there, smiling politely. Brad wanted me to make the formal announcement in a large gathering of about 100-200 people.

So I did, and Brad got on stage with Janet. And he proposed. I can still remember her mortifying response. Her face was full of alarm, sadness, and then pity. “No, Brad. Just…no,” she said quietly. Then, she ran away in an awkward gait. I don’t think she was crying, but Brad looked horrible. Later, I found out that she didn’t contact him for a whole week, and when she did, she showed up with his things and a formal apology for the fact that she led him on, and so on.

She dumped him. Said she was really sorry. Brad was…crushed. And so embarrassed that I haven’t seen him since, and that was almost 15 years ago.

punkwalrus

48. The Fall Guy

When I was about four or five years old, during one of my parent/child swim lessons, one of the dads accidentally took a dump in the water. People started screaming and scrambling to get out of there. They were pointing and making remarks at the poor guy too. His face turned really red and he grabbed his small daughter and left in a hurry.

But the thing is, it was his daughter that took the dump. I was right next to her when it happened. I didn’t realize it at the time, but looking back on it he probably took the blame to save his daughter the embarrassment. Not sure it did much good though, because witnessing one’s parent get ridiculed at that age can’t be good for one’s confidence either…

Bk7

49. A Night On The Town, Gone Wrong

A girl of about 17 or so was walking through the city center with her mom one afternoon. I immediately noticed something was wrong. Her skirt was tucked into her waist at the back, unwittingly showing the world her thong. People were pointing and laughing in the crowds. I ran over to tell her, and she burst into tears. Her mom explained that they had been walking around town for more than two hours, and it must have been like that for the whole time.

Not a single person in the whole city had bothered to say anything, until I did.

dingle_hopper1981

50. Floor Show

I was working the cash register at a Walgreens pharmacy a few years back. It was raining, and an elderly man rushed down Aisle Two tracking huge amounts of mud all over the floor to the bathroom. After only two minutes, the man quickly left the store. We have people come in to use the bathroom without shopping all the time, so no big deal.

But then, the smell hit me. I soon had a disturbing revelation. I left the register and realized that there was no mud, but green-brown diarrhea smeared all across the floor, with drips that flung off his pant legs and onto the products on the bottom shelf as he walked. I followed the trail of sadness to the bathroom and found the poor guy didn’t make it to the toilet in time, as there was a Lake Superior-sized puddle of filth leading down the front edge of the toilet and onto the floor.

Only a smidgen had actually made it into the water. To top it all off, there was poop on the toilet handle and bathroom sink. I’m presuming he tried wiping too fast so he could get out without being seen. We had to call the authorities on the man, because he left a bubbling bio-hazard waste dump inside of a pharmacy without alerting anyone.

I quit the next week because I was a low man on the totem pole and had to clean it up.

SilkKringle

Sources: 1, 2

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