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Embarrassing School “Emergencies”

Kayla Sousa

Some childhood stunts give you a good belly laugh. Some cause unbelievable physical damage and psychological trauma. These people took to Reddit to share some of their most humiliating memories in school that led to a warning, a hospital visit, or maybe even a therapist’s office.  These stories will most definitely have you looking back at your own childhood with thanks—if you came out relatively unscathed.


1. We All Have Our Things

I grew up with a dairy allergy. Not lactose intolerance, but like an actual allergy where I was told that my throat would close and eyes swell up if I consumed dairy. Apparently my eyes did swell a couple times when I was much younger.

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I stayed pretty vigilant about not eating dairy when I could help it, so I don’t have an actual memory of a reaction myself. Well, second day of my freshman year, I bought a sub and ate half of it before I realized there was Swiss cheese on it.

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I freaked out and went to the office and told them, they called an ambulance and my parents rushed there. But there’s a twist. It turns out I’ve definitely grown out of the allergy.

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10 years later and my friends still harass me about the time I got scared by a sandwich and called an ambulance. Still embarrassed about it every time.

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2. As Seen On TV

In preschool when I was around four, I told the teachers I had PMS.

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They thought that was great. They didn’t stop there: They made me call my mom and tell her while they all stood around laughing. Turns out I had seen some commercial about some PMS relief pill and asked my mother what PMS was.

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She told me it was when you get headaches, your stomach hurts, and you don’t feel good. Well, my head ached, my stomach hurt, and I didn’t feel good. So obviously, PMS.

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3. Thwarted By Mom

My sister used to wet herself and get taken home.

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It took a few times for my mom to figure out the truth. She was doing it on purpose so she could get out of school. So one day, she pees herself yet again, and my mom comes up there with a change of clothes.

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She changed her in the bathroom and sent her right back to class. She never did it again.

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4. Honesty Doesn’t Love Company

In school, I was a bit of a nerd. A bit of a stuck up, know-it-all, overconfident kind of nerd.

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First day of class, I’m sitting in class with a bunch of new kids, and the first thing the teacher wants to do is the whole “get to know you” thing.

Being an idiot, I raise my hand and proudly declare that I already know everyone in the room.

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I get strange stares, and the teacher laughs it off.

I say, “No really,” and proceed to walk around the entire class stereotyping people. I go down the aisles, one at a time, calling the big guy “hulk,” the prettiest girl “sassy,” and so on.

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The worst part of it is, the teacher lets me finish naming the whole class before I sit back down, and he continues on like nothing ever happened. I still cringe whenever I think about it.

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5. Popping Off

I was a senior in high school in my AP biology class. We were mating fruit flies and we used CO2 to knock them out and characterize the offspring. To generate the CO2, we used Alka-Seltzer tablets.

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One day, four of us decided to see what would happen if we ate one. We each grabbed one and just after putting it in our mouths, disaster struck. Our teacher called the class up to the front for a quiz.

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We each swallowed the tablets quickly, as we didn’t want to get caught messing around with the lab supplies.

I think our teacher knew what we were doing but just wanted to watch us suffer.

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The ensuing stomachache only compared to when I got salmonella.

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6. How Do You Spell Trauma?

I was in the first grade writing a spelling test. Everyone had dividers set around them so that we couldn’t cheat. In the middle of the test, I started getting an upset stomach.

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I tried to ignore it since I was doing so well on my test so far.

I have no idea what I was thinking, but I then threw up a little in my mouth and swallowed it just so I could finish my test.

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My priorities clearly weren’t straight at the time. But it gets worse.

Thinking the puke was out of my system, I continued writing my test until all of a sudden puke just came soaring out of my mouth uncontrollably.

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Because we had dividers set up, no one had even known I puked until I raised my hand to notify my teacher.

My teacher then lifted the dividers and my puke flowed over on all of my neighbors’ desks. It was absolutely horrifying.

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7. Art Is Art

Growing up as a Canadian in the States and the son of an artist, we had a lot of, er, “bohemian” art in our house of various men and women, so I came to regard a body undressed as the natural mode for a portrait.

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 This led to an extremely awkward encounter. When I started doodling, poorly, at age 8 or 9, I invited the daughters of two of the best-known lawyers in our town to pose for me in the coat room, and well…I ended up in the principal’s office.

The principal called my parents in the next day and handed them the drawings.

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he demanded they offer an explanation and a suggestion for an appropriate punishment. My dad took one look at the sketches and proclaimed them “pretty good”.

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8. Thanks David!

I went to a camp when I was little, and we were doing some kind of arts and crafts activity.

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One kid was cutting a large piece of cardboard with an exacto knife, and he decided that the best way to do this was to place the cardboard on his hand and then cut through the cardboard.

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If you’ve already noticed a flaw in this plan, congratulations, you’re more intelligent than he was! Obviously, he cut open his hand, pretty badly, and it was spurting blood all over the place.

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The camp counselors were all a bunch of teenagers who didn’t really know what they were doing at all, and everyone was freaking out. That kid was an idiot. And then none of us were allowed to use exacto knives anymore.

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9. A Renovation Was Probably Due

When I was in second grade, a kid bought in one of his dad’s preserved snakes for show and tell. The snake was huge, floating in an equally huge jar of formaldehyde. It took a turn for the worse in an instant.

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The kid dropped the jar while attempting to show it to the class.

It smashed on the floor and formaldehyde went all over the carpet. Our entire class had to relocate to the school library for two weeks while the school tried a bunch of different ways to clean the carpet, before they eventually gave in and had the entire classroom re-carpeted.

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10. It Starts Small

A boy in my 7th grade glass snorted a line of sugar he poured from a Pixi Stick. He promptly got a severe nosebleed that would not stop, and he had to go to the nurse’s office.

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Hours dragged on as he waited for his mother to come pick him up. I don’t know if he explained how the snorting started, but I don’t envy the conversation that ensued.

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11. A Good Watch Makes The Difference

In the third grade, I remember this boy who punched through a window because he left his watch at the French Fry Factory during a school field trip.

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Yeah, I bet that was a fun one to explain at home later to his parents.

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12. Not A Good Battle Story

When I was in ninth grade, we were re-enacting battles from wars with marshmallow ammunition in the schoolyard and somebody whipped a marshmallow right into my open eye.

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I did not expect the consequences at all. I know this sounds like the wimpiest injury ever, and it really was, but it hurt, and I couldn’t open my eye or see.

I had to go to the nurse and explain that the black eye I was getting was from a marshmallow.

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She had to do like an eye rinse to get out all the powdery sugar. She even called my mom and my own mother just laughed at me.

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13. Bad Idea From The Jump

We were dissecting some rats back in the 9th grade, and I bet some random kid that he wouldn’t eat the rat’s junk for $30—but to my shock, he did! Except his “bravery” was rewarded only with a trip to the hospital, where he had to get his stomach pumped. As it turns out, the rat was covered in formaldehyde—oops!

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14. Stick To Summer Fun

One winter in junior high, my classmates engaged in running across a frozen pond for kicks and giggles.

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One of them decided he would run across bare foot. That’s where it all went wrong. Unfortunately for him, the ice decided to break under his bare soles.

Needless to say, there were cuts and blood all over, and since our school’s nurse was on lunch break, our math teacher had to carry him to a nearby school where they could tend to him.

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15. Sometimes Silence Is Golden

One time I had to go to the nurse’s office at school because I had a ring-shaped bruise around my mouth and the teacher and nurse thought I was being mistreated at home.

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What really happened is that I got a cup stuck on my mouth by sucking all the air out of it the night before while I was taking a bath.

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16. Following Instructions

One time in 6th grade, I was playing with scissors in my art class and cut my bottom lip.

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I put my hand to my lip instantly out of fear and it was covered with blood. I walked up to the teacher, who was in the process of scolding some other kid for doing something stupid with the art supplies.

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When he turned to me, he was so frustrated he said, “You better be bleeding”! I showed him my lip; he just shook his head and said, “go to the nurse”. I still have a little “u” shaped scar on the bottom of my bottom lip from that incident.

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17. A Strange Breaking Point

One day I decided that my bully had finally had enough fun with me. My revenge went way too far. I dumped crazy glue into his hands and told him it will make your hair gleam.

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Once he put his hands into his hair…insta-stick! He spent 3-4 hours with the nurse cutting his hair…He didn’t come back to school for three weeks.

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18. The Dream Remains Intact

I once got one of those rubber earbud pieces stuck in my ear in high school.

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I tried fishing it out with my fingers, a pencil, etc, but it was lodged pretty tight, so finally I went to the nurse. This was higher stakes than you might think. Since she knew that I was going to music school for college/pursuing music, she didn’t want to touch it because if something went wrong, she didn’t want to be responsible for damaging my hearing.

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So, she gave me the name of an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor and called my mother to come pick me up. The ENT doctor went in with tweezers and plucked it right out. I think he thought I was an idiot all around.

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19. It Could Be A Gateway

In fifth grade, a friend of mine said his white out smelled like blueberries from being next to a blueberry-scented eraser. After I smell it, I passed to it to another friend to smell it.

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That said friend complained about a headache from sniffing white-out. It all happened so fast from there. Next thing I knew, I was suspended for two days and I needed to write an essay explaining why I shouldn’t inhale white-out.

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20. Smarter Than A Rodent

I ended up in the nurse’s office in the 8th grade because I had a mousetrap stuck to my head. One of the extremely sticky kinds. Some kid slapped it on my head and hair as a joke, and I nearly ripped my scalp off just trying to remove it.

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I subsequently landed in the counselor’s office. Double win.

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21. When Practical Jokes Fail

I don’t fully remember the context, but one of the kids in my 10th-grade science class was pretending like he was going to sit on a glass test tube.

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He kept holding it under him and crouching down like he was going to sit on it, and then he wouldn’t.

It was part of some joke he was telling with his friends while we were waiting for homeroom to get started.

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 You know where this is going. Eventually he slipped, landed on the test tube, broke the test tube, and got glass where you imagine he would have.

Since we had no school nurse, the principal had to confirm the injury and call his parents and an ambulance so he could go get stitches.

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He got to stand in class for like a week after that and got a couple of days off.

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22. Definitely Not A Special

I got sent to the Principal’s office this one time because my friend apparently tried calling Pizza Hut but instead called the superintendent by accident and asked for the “family deal”. When the man on the other end of the line asked who it was, he replied with my name.

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That was an incredibly awkward detention.

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23. NOT Speaking “Cheese” Is Blasphemy

I remember being sent to the office for saying “cheese and rice”. The reason was ridiculous. We had a substitute who was a very devoutly religious person, and if you mentioned anything about Jesus or related to the very subject, he would totally flip out and send you to the office.

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Anyway, I guess he thought that “cheese and rice” was close enough to “Jesus Christ”, so I had to pay the price.

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24. Taking It Way Too Far

My seven-year-old kid cousin was told to be as quiet as he could during story time in class.

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Apparently, if he was the quietest one, he would get to sit in the teacher’s chair. So, he thought it would be a good idea to achieve this state of super quietness by just casually holding his breath for as long as possible…He then proceeded to do exactly then, and he passed out in front of the whole entire class.

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25. Now It All Makes Sense

I was a dumb kid.

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Once, there was a lice inspection happening and my friend and I had the awesome idea to pour salt on our heads, so they’d think we have lice and send us home. No, I don’t fully understand the logic either.

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All it did was dry out our scalps and make them burn for the rest of the day. In retrospect, I didn’t have dandruff before that….

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26. Non-Sanctioned Reading

We were supposed to be reading  Lord of the Flies in English class, but since I’d already read it, I opted to read my own book that I’d brought from home. My teacher told me I needed to read the assigned reading, and I explained I’d already read it.

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She told me to read it again. This went back and forth, until I finally came up with a brilliant idea. I challenged her to put any test she had on the book in front of me and I’d ace it.

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She kicked me out of class with a detention slip.

The teacher in charge of detention was really confused about how I got kicked out of English class for reading.

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27. As Long As There’s No Suit

I was in gym class once while in junior high school and crushed my thumb on one of those Olympic plates from the weight training machines.

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How did it happen? Well, being not very bright for my age, a couple of guys and I figured we could still lift even though the pin to set the weights was missing.

We stuck a pencil in there and started.

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After one pull, the pencil got stuck and I decided to try to pull it out. So, wham! Right when I pulled at it, the pencil broke, and the plate slammed down on my thumb.

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Luckily, I pulled it back fast—but not fast enough. The teacher was called over and he had me rinse it off. At this point, it was swelling like a grapefruit. They sent me to the nurse who said if I could move it, I should be fine.

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Then they had me sign some paper saying I wouldn’t sue them.

The whole time I was begging them to send me to the hospital, which was literally right across the street.

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28. It’s A Tough Call

Once I was running across the ice and slipped and fell.

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 I did the worst thing possible. Instead of putting my arms down to catch myself, I just kept them at my side. So, I busted my face all up. Then I got made fun of because I didn’t even try to put my arms out.

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Years later I was wrestling and I got thrown on the mat. I put my arms out to catch myself so I didn’t break my face again. But then I just shattered my elbow… Sometimes you just can’t win.

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29. Buying A Disguise

Once when I was in elementary school—maybe the first or second grade—we were told that we had to come in from recess. One kid took umbrage at that and decided that his best idea would be to cross a major road to the mall without his shirt…and with his pants around his ankles.

He did this while screaming like a total banshee.

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He was finally caught in Sunglass Warehouse about 10 minutes later.

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30. Picking Up The Spare

I was in the gym bored one day, and we had these wooden bowling pins. For some reason, I was hitting the side of the stage with the pin (it had padding).

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It backfired on me, literally. I did this for a bit before it hit wrong and bounced back at me, hitting me in the left eyebrow.

I was wearing a dark green sweater, so when I grabbed my head, I didn’t notice I was bleeding for a bit.

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Once I did, I wandered down to the office and was like “Hey I’m bleeding, I hit myself” and explained what happened.

The poor secretary was trying her best not to bust out laughing as she explained the situation to my mother…who did no such thing and started laughing almost as soon as she was told I was fine.

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31. A Memory For The Ages

When I was in the first grade, we had a little rest time where we all put our heads down after recess. For some reason, I assumed no one could see me, and I started picking the heck out of my nose.

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Spoiler: People could see me. The teacher came up behind me and asked me to stop.

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32. But Did It Sharpen First?

Once a classmate of mine back in the second grade got dared to put his finger into one of those school pencil sharpeners that were in most classrooms in the 90s (don’t know if they are still around).

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Anyways, the kid who dared him to do it decided to crank the handle, which caused the other kid’s fingernail to get basically chopped off. There was blood everywhere.

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33. Mommy’s Special Sauce

One of my fourth-grade students brought in a water bottle that was filled with wine in her lunchbox.

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She tasted it and told me she thought it was wine. One whiff and I concluded she was indeed right. After calling her mom, she claimed that her parents had just gone on a cruise and brought the wine back in water bottles.

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We definitely had a few more follow-ups on that one.

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34. Don’t Forget To Like And Subscribe

I have a music channel on YouTube, and I’ve been a partner for about three years. In one of my business classes, we were discussing the YouTube Partner program, and a lot of students were curious about how much money partners made.

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The professor didn’t know the answer, so I thought I’d chime in, since I know the program. I didn’t think too far ahead and failed to realize that the prof would search for my channel and show the entire class one of my videos.

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I expired on the spot.

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35. Should’ve Followed The Pack

This was back in the third grade in computer lab. Usually before lab, we all sit on the floor in a closely packed fashion. I was recovering from a bad cold at the time and also had digestive problems.

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I accidentally let loose a silent one, but I made a fatal error. Of course, with my stuffy nose I couldn’t tell that it was a stinker.

I turned redder than a beet as my classmates looked at me in disgust as the smell weaved its way into the crowded classroom.

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36. So Long As It Was A Good Flavor

I didn’t have many friends in primary school, so I spent most of my time by myself. I was just casually chilling one day and thought it would be a fantastic idea to shove gum straight up my nose.

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Needless to say, trying to get it out after was a bad idea and just pushed it further up my nostril. I didn’t tell anyone until I went for a bath that night, and ended up having to be taken to the hospital and sedated because I’d attack any doctor that came close to me with tools to get it out.

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37. A Good-Smelling Injury

I once got my finger stuck in one of those circular deodorant bottles and had to go to the nurse. Don’t bother asking what the back story is here; I don’t even remember, nor do I want to. It went from bad to worse.

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The very unfriendly nurse ended up not being able to get it off, so she had to call in some reinforcements.

Basically, the janitor had to come in and he brought some hedgers to cut it off.

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  Yep, sixth grade was a rough year if we’re being honest here.

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38. You Have To Buy A Pass, Man

We had a bike path at my school, and we got to ride bikes around for PE some days. There was a parking lot nearby with one of those large metal gates at the bottom of a hill.

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The gate was one of those gates for cars that’s thin and long and usually painted red and white.

Well, my friends and I decided we wanted to ride our bikes down that hill right after school.

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I thought the gate would open up if I went down the hill, and I proceeded to do so. I ended up slamming into the gate, full-force, with my head. I was luckily wearing a helmet, so that saved my brain.

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I got a huge cut right above my eye, though. Yeah, that was a hard one to explain.

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39. Not A Smart Stunt

In grade three, my best friend went sprinting around the whole schoolyard with his eyes closed.

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It ended in tears. He smashed his forehead right into a flagpole. The top half of his yellow school shirt was totally covered in blood.

It just looked completely terrifying; he also had a massive gash on his forehead and his nose was bleeding profusely.

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The school nurse was definitely beyond shocked when we brought him in to see her.

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40. He Won’t Now

One time in my 5th grade class, this big, bruiser-type of guy wanted to pierce his ear. He begged the only guy in the class with a piercing to lend him his earring so he could do it himself.

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The teacher steps out for a minute and the kid takes the earring and stabs himself in the ear…Lots of blood everywhere. Never did get that piercing.

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41. A Weird Urge

There was a kid at my high school who thought it was a good idea to put a glob of hot glue on the sticky side of a piece of duct tape.

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He then proceeded to wrap the duct tape around another kid’s arm. Because that’s funny, right? The kid had a boil on his arm the size of a tennis ball cut in half.

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Needless to say, Einstein with the hot glue was expelled immediately after that episode unfolded.

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42. Perfect Harmony

This one time, I was messing around with a buddy while our class was loitering, waiting to enter the auditorium.

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We started throwing light punches and catching them, like you see the boxers practice with their trainers with the big, cushioned hand pads, just having some fun.

We both threw a right jab, and our rings connected.

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We both ended up with a hairline fracture on our ring fingers.

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43. Dig Deep

Once, in fourth grade, I had a really itchy ear. My solution was also my doom. I cut off a piece of paper and twisted it to a point and started scratching my ear with it.

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That little sucker went all the way in the depths of the ear canal and got lost all the way to my ear drum. The student teacher then had to awkwardly remove it with tweezers.

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44. A Chip Off The Old Block

When I was in 7th or 8th grade, I managed to snap a tooth. I had just returned to school after being sick, so I was carrying around one of those big water bottles (the ones that are supposedly really difficult to break) to keep the coughing down.

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It was recess, and we were playing outside not long after it had been raining, so it was muddy out. We had intended to play football, but all the balls were taken, so we were trying to play with a soccer ball.

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I stretched up to catch the ball, slipped in the mud, and smacked my face on the bottle, snapping my front tooth off, nearly to the gums. When I went to the nurse’s office.

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She wanted to put the tooth in milk to preserve it or keep it strong or something. Seemed silly to me, and it never did work.

IAmTheCandyman

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45. You Just Never Know

I was giving a presentation about South Korean nuclear energy.

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I make an offhanded comment about their nuclear plants being vulnerable to North Korean artillery. The professor brings up the range of artillery and asks if that possible. I pull a bogus, “Yeah of course, that’s why a centralized power grid is the biggest weakness of their program”.

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Then, a former artilleryman sitting in the second row loudly corrects me. Seriously, what are the odds of THAT GUY being in THAT CLASS when I’m giving THAT PRESENTATION?

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46. Whatever Works

When I was in grade nine in high school, I was pretty miserable as I had no friends in my classes and just felt alone.

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So, I went to speak to the deputy principal to ask if I could change classes and I cried to ham it up a little.

It worked, but she must have thought I was emo because she made me see the school counsellor, who was a hippy.

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In our sessions, she would play weird tribal music and made me play with sand and rake it, and I had to pretend I was looking for treasure.

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47. It’s A Miracle!

When I was younger, I got into a fight at school.

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I took a nasty poke to the eye and ran around screaming, “I’m blind, I’m blind”. I was totally freaking out because the vision in my eye was still messed up hours after it happened.

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Eventually, I went to the hospital. That’s when I realized what really happened. Turns out, when the guy poked me in the eye, my contact had just fallen out. I didn’t hear the end of it…

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48. Learn To Duck

When I was a kid, I wound up in the office (we didn’t have a school nurse) with a bloody nose because a kid’s shoe hit me in the face.

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How it got there was even more bizarre. He didn’t kick me; his foot wasn’t in the shoe. Apparently, the boys’ new game was to kick off their shoe in the schoolyard and see whose flew farthest.

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My eight-year-old face just got in the way.

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49. Not A Good Look

When I was in high school, a kid took a crayfish from his zoology class where they were dissecting them. He had the class early in the day, so it started to smell really bad after carrying it around for a few hours.

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He got caught when people realized the stench was coming from him. He was suspended for it, if I recall correctly.

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50. She Missed A Class Or Two

In high school, a girl in one of my classes comes running into our class just seconds before the class bell is about to ring.

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Her shirt is covered in puke and she’s crying uncontrollably.

The teacher calms her down enough for her to talk. The story she gives him was unbelievable. She told him she was pregnant, and she just lost her baby.

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She said she puked it up out of her belly.

We all just sat there silent. This chick actually thought the baby was in her stomach. The teacher sent her to the nurse.

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Sources: 1, 2

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