Ever heard of being “blinded by love”? Anyone that’s ever wondered what that meant, read on for some dramatic examples that make it painfully clear.
Despite the fact that certain people are so clearly toxic and even abusive that anyone could see from a mile away that they add no value to their significant other’s life, some of these significant others are so truly blinded by their feelings for the other person that they remain with them despite it all—and often even refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem to begin with.
Here are 42 stories shared by parents, siblings, best friends, and others about the biggest losers their loved ones were ever unfortunate enough to have dated.
42. Problems By the Number
My daughter dated a guy who was a lousy, lying, lazy, abusive, gaslighting jerk.
Besides that, he:
1) dropped out of high school at 14
2) never attempted to get a GED/diploma equivalency
3) had more than one conviction for public intoxication/underage drinking/drunk driving, which left him…
4) “unable” to get a job for approximately 18 months of the about two years they were together
5) got fired from Walmart after only working two weeks, for missing work because his kid supposedly was the victim of an abduction attempt (turns out the kid made it up)
6) smoked weed in her apartment bathroom, knowing that if my daughter failed a drug screen her career would be ruined
7) had his two kids every other weekend, but spent the entire time with headphones on, gaming, meaning that my daughter had to watch his kids or they’d destroy her apartment
8) would only eat corn, potatoes, hamburgers, chicken fingers, or pizza
9) never picked up after himself, so every horizontal surface was covered in half-drunk pop cans, fast food wrappers, cups and bags, dirty plates, moldy food (daughter is an RN and worked 12-hour shifts, which is sort of an excuse)
10) punched a hole in her apartment wall
11) held a gun to his own head, then laughed at her for taking him seriously
12) constantly accused her of cheating, so she had to unfriend all males on her Facebook, including her father
13) threatened to leave when her anxiety and depression had her sleeping anytime she wasn’t at work
14) when she finally decided she had enough, it was during a terrifying food-throwing, soda-hurling, furniture-smashing temper tantrum that saw her grab her cats from under the bed and come to my house 50 miles away
I could go on, but remembering all that is turning my stomach. In cleaning her apartment afterward, we had to wash the walls from where he had done a Hollywood-style sweep of the coffee table top, spraying Dr. Pepper all over the carpet, TV, wall, and canvas art, all the way to the ceiling. Then for good measure he smashed the coffee table.
He was a complete tool and with the help of a therapist she is finally getting back to the funny, intelligent, confident girl she was before he messed her head up.
41. An Ultimatum Most Could Never Refuse
My little sister dated a guy who kept trying to convince her to drop out of a UC school and move into his mom’s garage with him, up to and including the threatening of suicide if she didn’t.
It took way too much effort on my dad’s part and mine to get her to put the kibosh on that relationship, mostly because the guy’s mom thought my sister was good for him and tried to fight us on it.
40. Get Poor Slowly
My sister dated them all! My favorite was a guy who convinced her to have joint bank accounts and stole six months worth of pay from her. We didn’t know until after the relationship. The dude was a major conman salesman type that had like four different get rich quick schemes going while they dated.
39. Changing Your Priorities
While this is nothing compared to some of the other stories here, it doesn’t feel great to see my daughter move in with a high school drop out and “take a break” from college.
I’m expecting/dreading any day now to hear that her savings that were supposed to be for college will be going to pay off his debt…
38. Forced to Confront Reality
My dad threatened to take me out of his will if I ended up married to my ex. Not that I would ever pick money over love—obviously, considering I was going into major debt being with this guy—but my dad is a man of few words. Everything he says has weight and purpose.
That threat made me seriously reevaluate my relationship with my ex who couldn’t keep a job for more than a few weeks. We dated for two years and I dragged out the break up for way longer than I should have.
I’m now with a guy who pulls his weight in the relationship! Good luck to everyone in a similar situation!
37. Father, Can You Spare a Dime?
My sister dated a guy, let’s call him Tom, who worked under my dad at the business he owns and runs. Now I’m not saying Tom was a loser because he worked for our family, my sister and I both work in similar positions and that’s how they met. But there were a number of instances that just shouted: “Hey what’s up, I’m Tom and I’m a loser!”
For example, Tom seemed to never have any money, usually blaming things like his rent being too high or his car needing to be worked on. Due to this, my sister ended up having to pay for the majority of the dates and dinners that they went on. In reality, he had spent most of his money on unnecessary toys like dirt bikes, guns, and modifications for his 1999 Honda Civic. His spending habits got so bad that his landlord threatened him with eviction. This tore my sister up, not because he was getting evicted but because she knew that he was making enough money to never be in that type of situation.
Anyway, Tom got the bright idea to ask her and my father for the rent money ($650) while they were out to dinner. My dad ended up helping him out so he wouldn’t go homeless, but what he didn’t know was that Tom had asked him for more money than what his rent was so that he could go out and spend it on other things other than my sister. So yeah, he was a loser and I didn’t like him much.
36. I’ve Got the Sun in the Morning and the Moon at Night
My highly intelligent daughter once dated a lad who didn’t know the difference between the sun and the moon. Not joking.
My daughter was 18 and the lad was 20.
He was actually a nice lad, but difficult to converse with due to his very low level of education.
35. A Masterful Performance
My older brother dated a girl who pretended that she broke all of her bones in a car wreck. She put both of her arms in slings, put braces on her legs, and put a travel pillow around her neck. I remember asking her about her back—if all of her bones were broken anyway—and she started to cry. They didn’t last long.
34. Speedy Recovery
I worked with a dude that dated a girl who alleged to have had two outpatient kidney transplants in one week. I tried to say you don’t get a transplant Friday and are back to work Monday two weeks in a row. He didn’t listen and never acknowledged the fact that she was obviously lying to take advantage of him. Today, they have a couple of kids, which her mom has custody of now.
33. He Can Dish It Out But He Can’t Take It
My sister is dating a guy who is a jerk to everyone he meets but cries when you give it right back to him. He is also an enabler to her depression and anxiety. Instead of trying to encourage her to fix herself, he tells her that she doesn’t need to and he will do it for her. Whatever that means…
32. What Does She See in Him?
My sister is married to a guy who has two swastikas tattooed on his back… ’nuff said.
31. Sometimes Help is Nowhere to Be Found
I don’t know if I’m allowed to say names but my sister is married to a guy who kidnapped and assaulted two girls at UTSA.
They got together when she was 13 and he was 27ish. Mom tried to get him arrested but cops wouldn’t move a muscle, even though they admitted to sleeping together and Mom wanted to press charges.
30. He Had Me Fooled!
Girlfriend’s daughter hooks up with this “dude” who claimed he was a SEAL and talked all kinds of smack. I let this guy go off for hours about how bad he was and all the secret missions he was part of. He was laying it on thick and I let him keep talking.
About two John Wayne hero stories later I asked him to show me his trident tattoo. He looked at me and said it was concealed. I asked him what ordinance he packed when on a mission. No answer. Then asked where he took his BUD Class in Florida or Oregon? He says Florida. I tell him he is full of it. 10 minutes later he’s gone and I catch hell and grief from daughter and girlfriend for chasing the dude away. But he was a SEAL! He was going to show her all his “medals” and awards. I still chuckle about this.
29. Nothing Funny About This One
Not my son/daughter, but my older brother. He died by suicide over this crazy/selfish monster. She would consistently tell him he was a bad father and that he should off himself. She would spend all his money on unnecessary things while the kids were eating poorly. My oldest nephew (five years old) said he wanted to get a job so he can help put food on the table. She’s a slob and is no mother to their two sons. She hates my family for no reason.
Ever since my brother passed we have barely been able to see the kids. She didn’t even wait a full year to start dating again, and she is currently dating a guy with the same name as my brother. One of my brother’s friends told me that he found the poem that she read at his memorial on the internet. This pissed me off to no end because she was crying and crying for days after he died and now it makes me questions how genuine it was. She also posted way too much on FB in the days following his death.
Oh, and I completely forgot, before we found his body he had been missing for three days and she didn’t say a word to anyone!!! All I want now is for her and her family to screw up so we can sue for custody of the kids because they deserve better than those losers.
28. His Way or the Highway
Not my daughter/son, but my mom. After my dad’s death, she has been alone for almost 15 years. With my brother, we encouraged her to go back to dating, but she would never stay too long with anyone. After some time, she found a guy who showed us all how manipulative of a douche he can be. He hated that she was surrounded by family and had people supporting her. He would spread lies and rumors about the rest of my family just to have her for himself. Interventions had no effect.
Now, thanks to him, she’s no longer talking to her twin sister or mother and the rest of the family simply avoids her just so as not to have contact with him. He made her choose multiple times between her children and him and actually broke their engagement three times. They have taken breaks here and there for a while but she’s always coming back to him. I honestly never hated anyone so much in my life and it breaks my heart how blindly she follows him.
27. His Bark is Bigger Than Her Bite
Brother’s girlfriend hit my English bulldog with a shovel because “He was barking and it scared [her],” as she showed up unexpectedly at my parents’ house around 1 am. He is still with her because “She’s lonely and has no friends or family.” Maybe because she’s a psychotic maniac?!
26. Love Triangle
My husband’s cousin was married to a man who cheated on her for months, and then moved his mistress into THEIR home and tried to convince his wife that they could all be lovers together.
25. Talk About Poor Timing
A loved one’s significant other decided to get himself into the illegal pot dealing game after Colorado legalized weed. Needless to say this was bad both for business and for his ability to stay out of prison…
24. Anti-Social Media
My sister dated this idiot that would make her cry about once every two months. He posted something on Facebook that had a picture of a notebook and something like “If you come home and expect your husband to work around the house, you’re going to have a bad marriage” written inside the book. She broke up with him just a month ago.
23. Learning Her Lesson the Hard Way
My wife and I have very limited contact with our daughter because of the guy she was dating and now ended up marrying. Our ability to intercede was limited because she had moved to the other side of the country, ultimately ending up in Alabama. It’s painful and incredibly unfortunate, but we are just holding out hope that someday things turn around and she opens her eyes.
Our daughter was staying with a friend, and she began dating this guy she met while working. She always struggled with showing or expressing gratitude, and she had a falling out with her friend of ten years, who felt like she was being taken advantage of. Our daughter wouldn’t pay rent and did nothing to help out around the house—friend had a new marriage and a new baby also—and so our daughter was asked to leave. She lived with her manager, until they also had a falling out, resulting in her quitting her job also.
This caused her to move in with her BF, who we’ll call Tim. Tim lived in a trailer on the same plot of land his parents and grandparents lived on and was likely a drug dealer. He had been in the Army for a few years before getting dishonorably discharged for drug use. Given that my wife and I are both Army veterans, his undeserved “I’m a proud veteran” attitude was an additional reason to dislike him. He had no real job, which would become a trend.
They ultimately got engaged once our daughter became pregnant. We were then contacted by a woman who wanted to warn us about Tim. Turns out, she was his wife. They had been married years earlier, had a kid together, and Tim was refusing the sign the divorce papers. She informed us that he was emotionally and physically abusive, and that he had been convicted of it. We checked and this was true. He was also currently on trial for assault, also true. She also claimed he was currently sleeping with his 15-year-old cousin who lived in one of the trailers on the family lot—no evidence other than circumstantial “he’s a turd” evidence.
My wife immediately called our daughter to tell her this and to try and let her let us buy her a plane ticket back to our house so she could get back on her feet. Turns out, our daughter knew about all of it and refused to believe any of it was true. He wasn’t dishonorably discharged, she said (we sent the picture of the DD214 his wife had), he wasn’t an abuser (we sent the court case and local news article), he was on trial, but there was no way he had assaulted anyone (case was ultimately dismissed last year when the witness decided they didn’t want to testify). She said she’d come for a visit, but only if she was allowed to bring Tim. We showed her texts from Tim to his wife saying he was only with our daughter for the money (she had been begging money off relatives, though we had stopped giving at that time, and all have stopped now after we talked to them). We also showed her his Tinder and Facebook profiles where he was attempting to pick up other women. Nothing made a difference.
She had the baby a few months later. We were going to go out for the birth, but we told our daughter we wouldn’t go onto their family trailer park. Tim knew what we thought of him now and apparently made threats toward us. We told her we’d come out and stay in a hotel, and we could visit her there. She refused and said Tim wouldn’t let her do that. If we wanted to see our grandchild, it would have to be at their trailer. We decided not to go out for the birth, which tore my wife apart. Our other daughter has not spoken to her sister since that day.
Everything seemingly came to a head when our daughter called us out of the blue one afternoon. Apparently, Tim had gotten angry and she was scared for her safety. We immediately booked a flight for her and she arranged for a neighbor to take her and the new baby to the airport. We then could not get ahold of her for several hours, so my wife called the local police to do a health and welfare inspection. The officer had our daughter call us from his phone. Apparently, he had found out what was happening and smashed her phones and would not let her leave. The neighbor now refused to be involved, so a former soldier of my wife’s offered to drive out and pick her up, as he happened to be a police officer about two hours away. The other officer waited for him to arrive. Once our friend arrived, our daughter had changed her mind and refused to leave. Nothing we could do would change her mind, and she is still there.
Tim still doesn’t have a job, though they are now married and she just gave birth to another grandchild. Tim insisted that she go back to work the week after since he cannot get a job due to his record. Our daughter sends us pictures, but she is always sure that they include Tim. The last picture we received was him holding the new baby and making something in the kitchen… while smoking.
22. His Loss
My dad doesn’t Reddit but my parents HATED my ex. We met when we were 16 and were on and off for four years. He constantly cheated on me and was just a bad person. I ended up pregnant at 18 and worked through most of the pregnancy, while he didn’t do a thing. I got him a job but he didn’t keep it. I broke up with him when my daughter was eight months old, about five months after my mom passed away. He hasn’t been in mine or my daughter’s life for about four years. His loss, she’s amazing.
21. Sounds Terrible
My sister’s husband is abusive by way of isolation and controlling money. She knows her escape plan, just waiting for the right moment.
20. Thrilled by Destruction
My brother is currently dating and engaged to one of the worst people I’ve ever met. She is manipulative and controlling. She likes to do nasty, mean things, and when confronted will act completely innocent and play the victim. She has also on several occasions made up stories and lied for the sole purpose of causing chaos. She almost destroyed my other brother’s marriage—his wife is her best friend—and has all but ruined my brother’s relationship with our mom and other sister. I really think she is entertained by the misery she causes. The best part of all of it? They are getting married in 11 days.
19. All of the Above!
All of the guys my SO’s daughter have dated. Not even joking.
The father of her youngest kid takes the cake. Skinny, white, gangster loser. I think he’s bipolar but that’s just what I’ve been told. I’ve never met the guy. Anyway, he was dating her for two or three weeks before she got knocked up and he split. I’m glad his mom is a good grandmother because he’s an awful dad. You don’t have to stay with your baby’s mama, but you could at least spend time with the kid you helped make.
18. The Secrets Come Out
My daughter says the biggest loser she ever dated was the guy that was a drug runner. I obviously didn’t know about this and am only being told because he’s long gone from her life.
17. Believe as I Do, Not as I Say
As nice as my brother-in-law is, he is pretty terrible in terms of job/goals/life ambitions.
He hasn’t worked a steady job for almost ten years or so and is now pushing like 40. He had been a UPS driver and either lost that job or was laid off or something and since then, he has just done oddball things to kind of keep money in, but nothing has flourished or lasted long. He was going to be a singing coach. He was going to do lawn maintenance. And currently, his next big venture is dog walking/sitting.
Consequently, my sister works three jobs to keep their family comfortable and to support my niece. It wouldn’t be so terrible if he did more stuff around the house, but after this past visit to their home, I don’t think he does much of anything other than sit around and watch TV and maybe make dinner every once in a while.
My dad has tried subtly talking to her about the situation, but she says she’s happy with her life. Although sometimes her tone seems to say something else…
16. Don’t Mess With the Energy
My sister is currently dating a dude that’s a huge hippie, just like her.
Really into the stars, soul mates, substance use, and other nonsense.
Of all the issues I have with him, he has once told us that he was on an acid trip and that his carpet spoke to him. It allegedly told him that he’s not allowed to hold down a job for more than a week because it misaligns your Chakra points and throws off your energy. It also feeds your energy into the big “alman matter,” AKA the government, and with every hour worked you’re making them stronger.
To make money he does what you would expect him to do (sells substances, sells his food stamps, asks my sister for money, etc.).
15. Just Keep Rolling Along
My sister dated this dirtbag. He lived in a house his dad owned and she moved in with him. He stayed at home slinging drugs, she held respectable jobs. He was a general loser, stole pills from his mom and such.
They bought a crummy Firebird together with her money, but he titled it in his name. When she finally left him, my father and I drove the Firebird home, parked it in our garage, and covered all the windows looking in. He would call us every day and rant to us about how he was going to call the cops and/or kick our butts. After telling a sob story to the DMV, we ended up getting this saint of a supervisor who transferred the title to my sister’s name, so she could sell the heap of junk and recoup some of her money.
14. When the Shoe is On the Other Foot
Funny enough, every father of any girl I have ever dated thinks I am a loser. It usually starts with something along the lines of “I don’t like your name,” and usually goes downhill from there.
13. Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don’t
An ex stabbed me in the thigh with a blade once. Full blade in the thigh. I could see my muscles working, and had to pick out the pant fibers.
Wanna know why he stabbed me in the thigh? Well, I have two toes on each foot that are “webbed.” He wanted me to let him cut those instead.
12. Admit It, Fellas!
How many other guys came here to see if any of the descriptions sound like them?
Not me, that’s for sure…
11. The Forbidden Fruit
Not my daughter but my niece. When she was 14 she met a dude on the internet who was 22 and from across the country. We were not happy. He came to visit and was the weirdest dude I ever met. I was only four years older and tried to have conversations with him, but he was just monosyllabic. Exactly the kind of dude who you would expect to hit on a 14-year-old in anime forums on the internet. Of course, we watched them like a hawk and they were never left alone together.
I still admire my sister. She firmly put down the rules (no being alone together, no sleeping in the same room, etc.) but never said anything against the “relationship.” The whole thing ended pretty much right after his visit. If my sister had forbidden it, I am sure it would have gone on much longer.
10. Asserting His Dominance
One of my friends brought her new boyfriend to our weekly church youth group meetup. He openly bragged about how he could manipulate anyone into doing whatever he wanted and tried to dominate all of the other guys in the room by proving how much smarter, stronger, more athletic he was.
She pulled the plug pretty quickly.
9. The Warning Signs Were All There
“Blake.” We took him into our home for a few months, so he could save up some money. Our internet bill went through the roof. I think he played video games? Then one day, Independence Day, he dumped her, all while his clan from Texas was camping in our yard on the way to a music festival. I guess I should have keyed in when he mentioned he had moved multiple times.
8. She Saw Right Through His Story
I dated a lot of stupid, just plain dumb guys in high school. One of the worst mistakes was my boyfriend in sophomore year, who told me he had lung cancer because he’s been smoking cigarettes since he was 8. He wrote me this weird journal/letter about it. I didn’t believe him for a second but continued dating him for another month or so. He’s married with a kid now so I’m pretty sure the cancer thing wasn’t true…
7. Congratulations, You’re the Worst Man On Earth!
My best friend dated the worst man on earth.
Classic mental gaslighting abuser type.
Never made her feel pretty or good. Always compared her to other girls. Told her she wasn’t beautiful, sexy, feminine, or attractive to him. Keep in mind she is an attractive, perfect bodied type who is also kind, funny, hard working, etc. Most would consider her a definite catch.
He cut her family out.
Tried to convince her that her friends were “trash” and to cut us out too.
If we went out to a bar, he’d be dancing with/chatting up other women all night while she sat alone.
The kicker though: during her chemotherapy treatments, he criticized her about not keeping up with house cleaning, cooking, and keeping up with his sexual appetite.
While she was literally fighting death, sick as a dog and vomiting, this jerk is busy wondering when he’s gonna get some action?
She lost nearly all her friends because of her resistance to any advice to get away.
Happy ending: she’s married to a different and very good man now. Whew.
6. Dodged a Bullet
If my parents used Reddit they would probably mention my ex-boyfriend who I dated long distance online from 19 to 22.
He lived with his parents, didn’t want to get a job, smoked pot all day and did mushrooms for “clarity.” He forced me to avoid talking to others or even going out with my family to do things. He would blow up my phone saying I was cheating due to his lousy ex relationship during which he was cheated on. He had a kid at 18 during a drunken one-night stand and had to babysit her every week while complaining about her grandmother, who was taking care of her because the mother didn’t want her. He didn’t pay child support so he had to guiltily take care of the kid at every beck and call of the grandmother. Lashed out at me constantly and would starve himself for days to make me feel bad about literally anything that mildly bothered him. Generally needed a lot of help that he refused to get. I was at a really low point in my life and thought I was worthless, and that he was the only one that could love me.
I know my parents wouldn’t get into my love affairs but they were absolutely thrilled when I finally grew some self-worth and got out of it. I cringe extremely hard when I remember all of it…
5. Stolen Valor
My sister dated a guy who lied about being a Navy SEAL. Apparently, there is actually a whole community of people who do that. They just go around unemployed, living on who knows what source of income, telling their significant others that when they disappear for weeks at a time it’s because they were “deployed.” It never made any sense to us, and she broke up with him for other reasons. Now, it gets her really pissed off if anyone mentions or acknowledges the fact that that relationship ever happened.
He was a creepy dude who took advantage of her trusting nature and that she was at a low point in her life, and I regret not doing more to call him out on his obvious BS. He’s still in the area doing who knows what, probably trotting out the same crap to new women. I hope one day he gets his butt kicked by a real Navy SEAL!
4. Leaving Her Mark on His Life
My brother. He dated this crazy possessive chick who once buried one of his shirts because another girl complimented him on it in front of her. She also totaled his car after lying and saying she had gotten her license back. She gave $400 to a fake iPhone scammer website because, “they are a legit company, I saw pictures of their warehouse and everything.” I googled said warehouse, the picture on their site was the first one that came up. She even paid $100 more to “expedite through customs” when the delivery didn’t arrive when expected.
And the pièce de résistance without a doubt—she killed his dog. She left Excedrin PM on the coffee table and he chewed up the bottle. By some miracle, no pills got out and the crisis was averted. It was then explained to her that the pills would be fatal to the dog. She bought another bottle and left it on the coffee table again. This time dog ate half the bottle and his kidneys failed. Sucks because he was the sweetest and smartest dog I’ve ever known.
3. Taking the Law Into His Own Hands
My daughter’s ex-husband, the cop, who broke into her house after the divorce and assaulted her in front of the children. Thankfully, the maggot did time in prison for that.
The full story—my father had a massive brain aneurysm. They had taken him to a hospital five hours away. I had just arrived there when my ex-husband called me and said my daughter was on the way to the hospital and told me what had happened. It was definitely assault, she didn’t just say that when the children saw them. There was no question due to the trauma. He stands 6’4″ tall, my daughter is 4’11” tall and weighs 100 pounds.
The kicker was that we found out he had a bit of a history of being a predator, as he was one of those cops that would solicit favors when he stopped women, i.e. they could get out of a ticket… if…. The department he worked for got wind of this and they reached some agreement where he would quietly retire and nothing would be on his record. I can’t remember exactly how my daughter found this out, but I know that shortly before the trial someone came to her to tell her about it.
So yes, he did time. He is now out. There is a restraining order in effect for seven years, and most likely that will easily be renewed. He has taken her to court I don’t know how many times in the last couple of years, trying to get the restraining order lifted because he states it is keeping him from gaining employment since it’s attached to an assault. He represents himself every time he comes to court, it’s almost comical. He’s narcissistic and psychotic. I call him “The Maggot.”
The kids were all in therapy. They’re great kids, very well adjusted. She’s an amazing gal. She’s three months from her masters, works full time, and has never missed one of the kids’ activities. They dealt with it and moved on. To quote Shakespeare—“Though she be but little, she is fierce.”
2. Oh Honey, By the Way, I Forgot to Mention…
My sister is currently married to a controlling piece of garbage. He leaves jobs and accepts others out of state without consulting her, forcing her to leave medical practices on short notice.
She is now working for the Feds and he has just done it again. She has been trying to get a transfer but he’s telling her to quit now. Her career is in shambles because of her poor job history of leaving places on short notice.
Plus, she’s gained about 200 lbs. and this guy’s legs are purple and about to fall off because he doesn’t believe in diets. She wants kids and he has one already and is therefore (thankfully) refusing to have another, but she is depressed and unhappy. She refuses to leave him, citing her age as an excuse.
He has insulted my family in front of me and has tried to bully my husband and me. When that didn’t work, after I yelled at him, he told her she wasn’t allowed to talk to us anymore. He has cussed out my mother over the phone and ridiculed every last one of my family members. I don’t currently speak to her, because I cannot stand to hear about all of the awful things he does. My mother has very little contact with her as well, I’m not 100% on the exact reason but I suspect it’s not far from mine.
I have told her she is welcome to stay with my husband and me if she ever wants to leave him. No matter what time, day or night, I will book the plane ticket and replace anything that she cannot bring with her.
1. Way to Silence the Room
My grandma regularly thanked my wife for not being my ex-girlfriend. When people asked why she referred to this incident in particular.
I invited my girlfriend over for dinner to meet my family. To envision this, imagine a tall, deathly pale girl with long, black hair that regularly falls over her face. If you’re imagining the girl from The Ring except older, you are exactly right. My grandma immediately tries to make polite small talk once everyone is seated.
“So, (girlfriend at the time), what do you do for fun?”
Girlfriend looks up through her creepy hair curtain.
“I like scissors.”
There is an awkward silence. My grandma doesn’t ask her any more questions.
To be entirely fair to my ex, she did collect different varieties of antique scissors—but that doesn’t make her sound any less weird when I type it out.