Kids can be extremely adorable and lovable creatures. They can also be unbelievably annoying, rude, and bratty at times. Unfortunately, this world seems to have no shortage of kids who, for whatever reason, seem to fall exclusively into the latter category.
For anyone who’s experienced the antics of one of these types of tots, there is nothing more satisfying than seeing them get their just desserts—often in truly epic ways.
Here are 42 of the best examples of spoiled kids getting what they deserve.
42. This Kid Messed With the Wrong Parent
I guess the situation is epic to me, because it seems like spoiled kids always win.
I took my kids to a children’s museum when they were toddlers. There was a specific area for toddlers with a whole grocery store set up. Such is life, there was an 8 or 9 year old kid in the toddler area being a pain in the rear end. He kept taking all of the kids’ toys and hoarding all the shopping carts. He would hand out a few pieces of food to the kids but mainly wouldn’t let them touch or play with anything else.
Now, normally I would let my own awesome kid deal with the situation. He doesn’t take crap from anybody. But they started getting into it when this kid got on my son’s nerves, and then the older kid hit my son. Done. I went over to the kid, got right up in his face and said, “No! We do not hit! Get out!” Instant tears, dropped all the toys and left the play area. His mom caught the tail end of the scene, and tore him a new one. “What is wrong with you?! I can’t turn around for 2 minutes! And then some other parent has to come in and tell you to behave!”
Unfortunately too little too late for that one.
41. Long-Term Memory
I played football in the local kids’ league. One kid from another team was basically untouchable as his dad was a major sponsor of the league and would donate money for uniforms, drinks, etc.
His son was a pretty good receiver but didn’t like getting hit, and his parents made a big deal of leaving their son alone so he can develop his skills. He was insufferable. Anytime he scored a TD, he would do over the top celebrations and mock all the other players, his teammates included.
Then came high school. Most of the kids from the league ended up in 1 of 2 schools. He went to mine (and some other players).
During tryouts, he did well. The coaches were mostly focused on skills and minimal contact during the first few rounds of cuts.
The final round was when things got interesting. Full contact was permitted and he got rocked over and over again. No one was actually trying to tackle any harder than normal, it’s just that this dude didn’t know what to do when he got tackled. So he screamed and cried a lot.
He didn’t make the team.
Until his dad came down to the school and offered to donate money for uniforms and some other goodies for our sports teams.
So he made the team and again we were told to take it easy on him a bit. So we did. But the other teams didn’t. And he went up against some of the players he mocked previously. And they remembered. Our QB kept passing to him, and he was getting repeatedly smashed. Over and over again.
It was the only time our team cheered for the other team. He quit playing football after that.
40. One Kid’s Loss Is Many Kids’ Gain
I used to work at a women’s shelter. Christmas time rolls around and a man and his sour-puss teenaged son come to the door. He says his son would like to donate some items to the kids staying at the shelter. Great!
The man and his son start hauling in some expensive items. There was an X-Box, a bunch of games, a flat screen, iPod, cool headset, etc. Turns out the kid ran his mouth and the Dad made him give everything to the kids. Christmas was pretty cool for our gang that year.
39. Monkey See, Monkey Do
I went on a bushwalk in Singapore and there are pretty clear signs around not to feed the monkeys as they can get aggressive.
Anyway there were these two boys around the age of 8 swearing and throwing sticks and rocks at a little monkey in a tree. The dad was standing there laughing and allowing this to go on. I was about to say something when one of the kids ripped open a bag of skittles and started throwing them.
The monkey immediately ran down from the branch and snatched the skittles; at the same moment another three monkeys came out of nowhere, and in an epic display of monkey-justice, swarmed the kids, making them and the dad run away for dear life.
38. This Kid Definitely Got What He Deserved
When I was 12 my dad dated a nice lady with a bratty 9 year old who would talk back to her and refuse to do chores which would then be passed on to me.
One day at the dinner table everyone is eating and he goes listen! And rips a tiny fart. His Mom is embarrassed and asks him to stop or go to the bathroom. Instead he spreads a s*** eating grin and leans in to rip one loose, and accidentally soils himself in the middle of dinner.
His expression of horror was the best thing ever, I died laughing as he ran clutching his butt away from the table.
37. Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Will Hurt Me Far More
Ooh I’ve got a fun one. This one, I handled myself!
I waited tables in a breakfast diner a few years back. Two ladies come in and towed one of their kids along, a chubby boy with gold chains and a nice watch (kid is probably 10-11, for reference).
Mom is clearly very tired of dealing with him as he is very demanding, blurts out what he wants before I can say hi, etc. Partway through the meal, he holds up his Sprite cup and shakes it at me, and utters only the word “more!”
Mom looks aghast and chastises him for being rude, to which he begrudgingly apologizes. I shrugged and told him “don’t apologise to me, apologise to your mom.”
Was a little worried when I came back around with his Sprite and saw his salty, hot tears streaming down his chubby face.
Mom left me a ten on a 30 dollar bill, however, so I think she was happy with my service 😀
36. This Kid Took Things One Step Too Far
I worked as an outdoor camp instructor. One week I was on logistics and had to drive the van to pick up kids. I had heard from my friend that one of the kids in his group was a little brat, back chatting, lazy, bullying other kids. When I got to the pick up point, the kids hopped into the van and my mate in shotgun.
My mate Mitch gave me the rundown on the kid. As I started the van up I did a visual check of seatbelts and everyone was good, except for the kid. I asked, he said no. I told him I can’t leave until he puts it on. So he did and I started to leave. A minute down the road I heard him unclip his seat belt again so I had to stop the van and ask him again.
He put it back on. This happened one more time. On the third time I just pulled over, turned the van off. Radioed base and asked for my manager and the overseeing teacher who was his Dean to come up and pick this kid up because he was a danger to the others in the van.
That’s when this kid started pleading and begging. Told him no. I already made the call. He got sent home. My mate Mitch had one of his best weeks after this kid left.
35. You Passed the Test With Flying Colors, Mom
One time I wouldn’t give my daughter a push on the swing because she was whining instead of asking. She knows we don’t listen to whining but her grandpa was there so she was testing me.
When she figured out I really wasn’t going to do it, she grabbed the rope from the swing and flung the swing at me.
It missed me, came back and smacked her right in the face. I’m sure it hurt too because it was a board with a rope through the middle.
Not that I’m happy that my kid was hurt over it but I taught her about karma that day.
34. Bossy Pants
I think I was around 9 or so and I made “friends” with another kid down the road. It was his grandparents place and he visited a lot. If I remember correctly we met through baseball. He was incredibly overweight and bossy. He always made the rules of the games we played and would throw major tantrums if I objected.
For instance while playing with action figures, I had the toy do some cool flips. He went crazy saying how it needed to be realistic…the first time I visited his house I was blown away by the volume of toys he had. Growing up fairly poor I was accustomed to having maybe one cool toy. He had all the playstation games and a huge collection of anime on VHS.
Not surprisingly, his parents were overweight as well and would make very dense dinners that would take me 2 days to recover from. Eventually during one sleepover he wanted to play wrestle. Didn’t take but a second to know how bad of an idea that was, him being 100 lbs+, especially since he wanted us to be shirtless (???).
I refused and he cried telling me to take my shirt off and to wrestle. I remember walking out and asking his mom for a ride home. She just gave me the look of “I understand.” 2 days later he shows up at my house asking for me to come out. My brother told him I wasn’t home as I walk by the kitchen. He flipped his lid and that was the last I heard of him.
33. A Serious Case of Eating Your Words
On the first day of a two week vacation, I saw my spoiled 10 year old cousin tell his mother, his older female cousin, his aunt, and his grandmother that he wasn’t going to clear his place or rinse his dishes because “that’s women’s work.” For the rest of that two week vacation, nobody had to lift a finger to clear a plate, rinse a dish or wash a pot because it was his job. At times there were over a dozen of us there.
32. Was the Mac and Cheese Really Worth It?
There’s actually a complete video of mine! Here at Uconn, they serve special mac n’ cheese on certain days, I’m sure lots of schools do it. But our bacon jalapeno mac is pretty darn good.
Well, a certain sophomore from a wealthy family who is used to being bailed out of trouble by his rich parents got drunk and decided he wanted some mac n’ cheese. He was clearly intoxicated, and had the nerve to walk around the food court drinking beer. The manager sees this and won’t let him in the food line. As seen in the video, our boy spends the next 10 minutes mercilessly berating the poor guy and his staff for being beneath him.
The manager gives him so many chances to just walk away, but our boy isn’t leaving without his mac. He shoves the manager (not for the first time) and another employee decides he’s done with this nonsense. Hero employee tackles our boy and pins him. The jerk spends the next few minutes pinned to the ground while the cops arrive, screams “I’M ABSOLUTELY F***ED,” and is arrested. Not his first arrest, not his first expulsion from a college. From what I hear, he’s since been arrested or expelled from another school.
We’ll never forget you, Mac N’ Cheese kid.
31. Yes, I Do Know Who Your Mom Is
I guess I’ll start. Definitely not the best, but it still pleased me.
I used to work at a pony camp that catered to rich kids from a very nice neighborhood. We would have really spoiled kids all the time. While annoying, the most frustrating part is trying to maintain authority just so the little brats don’t get themselves killed by 1,000 lb animals.
Anyways, we had a maybe 10 yr old kid from some mildly famous sportscaster one week. Kid was just downright awful. She ignored everything we told her and was mean to the other kids in camp. At one point she started a physical fight with another girl and when she felt like she was getting beaten she started yelling “Do you know who my mom is?! I’m going to tell her!” The other kid got scared and started crying.
My coworker replied “Actually, I do know your mom and I know she wouldn’t like to hear about this. Why don’t I call her right now?” Little brat didn’t believe her so my coworker did. She was much easier to deal with the rest of the week.
Turns out, my coworker worked with her mom many times over the years. She’s a professional makeup artist for tv and did her makeup more than a few times.
Suck it spoiled brat.
30. A Very Understanding Father
This reminds me of a story maybe 5 years ago. I was at my friend’s house and his two boys were 5 and 3. They were playing outside in the front yard and the neighbor roughly 8 years old runs up and pushes the 3 year old off his bike. The 5 year old runs over screaming “THAT’S MY BROTHER” and pushed the kid over then starts pummeling and kicking his head.
Kid runs off crying and we forget about it. Few hours later we get a knock on the door and it’s the boy and his father; his father was told his son got beat up and he came over to talk to my friend about it assuming it was my friend’s kid’s fault. He explains what happens and he looks at his kid and just says”you deserved it AND you got beat up by a 5 year old, how do you feel? You’re grounded” and takes him home.
29. Don’t Mess With Future Olympians
Used to work at a non-overnight summer camp and after school program and week long soccer camp. The town isn’t huge so needless to say over a few years I got to know several kids from different programs. One 10 year old boy I knew from after school care was a total prick. Bully, snob, didn’t think he had to listen, tattle tale (personal pet peeve) – just awful.
He came to my soccer camp and proceeded to make fun of an 8 year old girl because she had old cleats where he had the newest Nikes and a brand new cool design ball. Unfortunately for him I also knew this 8 year old girl and knew that the reason her cleats looked old and worn down is that she was a freaking BEAST, just all around amazing athlete who loved soccer and played hours every day.
I paired him with her for a simple drill where one person started with the ball and you just tried to get past the other person and kick the ball at stationary ball/cone about 10 yards away to simulate passing/scoring accurately while under pressure. He was of course angry saying she was too young and a girl. I said if he hit the cone 3 times he could pick his partner. He again pointed out her shoes to me as if that were going to change my mind before giving in and playing. She proceeded to humiliate him over the next few minutes. Not once letting him dribble past her in 5 attempts. He was LIVID!! Bending down messing with laces as if the shoes really mattered then saying he needed to use his ball. Nothing worked.
He was so angry I thought he was going to be violent but then it was her turn to be on offense. He talked some kind of smack, I forget what and refused to let her use his ball. She didn’t say a word, got a new ball. I blew whistle and she did a step over fake which made him move to the side, she stood back up straight and kicked it between his legs and hit the cone. She barely even moved. He was so freaking angry.
Second round he charged her screaming, she kept her cool, wound back like she was gonna drill it at his dumb face, he ducked and squealed as she dribbled around him with his hands still covering his head and hit the cone. I didn’t make her embarrass him for the remaining 3 attempts and called a water break. The kid was just dumbfounded, he honestly thought his shoes were going to make him better without any effort. He was better behaved the rest of the week but honestly I think she just broke his spirit. He just seemed out of it. Hope he’s doing all right.
The girl is like an all American high school soccer player last I checked, won’t be surprised if I see her in Olympics one day.
28. Did Us All a Favor
Not incredibly epic and not much of a comeuppance, but great nonetheless.
I was on a flight from Washington Dulles to Heathrow. This 6-8 year old kid behind me was screaming the whole overnight flight. Constantly whining to his mom for food, toys, what the hell ever. Mom was the “shhhh honey, no no honey, shhh sweetheart” type.
Finally the mom had to get up to use the restroom. The kid starts wailing. The guy next to me leaned up over his seat, turned around, and said “Hey, Kid. Shut the F*** up.”
The whole plane didn’t clap but we enjoyed five minutes of dead silence till mom came back.
27. Variety Is the Spice of Life
I pick one of my son’s little friends up from school once a week for a play date. When his mom comes to get him, she tells him to help clean up and get his shoes on. He doesn’t listen 9/10 times. So I say it once and off he goes. Kids hear it from their parents all day. Sometimes, they need to hear it from someone else. It’s a running joke now and we help tell each other’s kids what to do. Mom voice works!
26. Don’t Pick the Flowers
This one was told to me by my parents since I was too young to remember at the time. The neighborhood bus stop for the Catholic high school was on the corner where our house sits. Sometimes when it was raining the kids would wait right next to our house for cover. That didn’t bother my parents. They had kids, they didn’t want somebody else’s kids standing out in the rain.
What did bother them was when they realized the kids started passing the time by ripping up all the flowers around the house. Parents called the school to complain and had a nice chat with the principal. That Saturday all the kids who used that stop showed up to replant the flowers, which they or their parents paid for.
When the flowers were replanted they got to spend a few more hours helping with our other yard work. Then the school moved their bus stop to the main road on the edge of the neighborhood. That meant about 2 more blocks of walking every day for most of them and waiting in a field with no shelter from bad weather.
25. Putting on a Show
Was at the Vancouver Aquarium with a school field trip for my kids and a few other families. One family thought that their cr*p didn’t stink and would do everything to push their way to the front, not pay for things, etc. Their kids had heelies. The park was pretty busy. Little brats would run into people and just skate away without a word.
We were sitting and waiting for the Beluga show to start and one of the kids comes buzzing in from stage left on his stupid heelies and hits a wet patch and his feet go flying out from under him and he lands flat on his back in a giant puddle in front of the entire crowd.
Everyone started to laugh. It was glorious.
Was at a family event for my girlfriend of the time. One of her cousin’s kids was just running around making a ruckus in spite of the numerous times his parents told him to settle down. Eventually he took an interest in the motion activated glade air freshener on a counter. (It had been turned off because it would be spraying nonstop with all the people around).
So this little 6 year old bugger is standing on his tiptoes ignoring the constant warnings of “don’t touch that, please” and reeeeeaching over pushing buttons and eventually it happens. He flips the switch to “on” and 3 seconds later gets a direct blast of Glade to the face.
23. Don’t Toy With This Kid
I worked at Taco Bell in HS. At the time, we had kids’ meals. This kid comes in with his parents and orders a kids’ meal. Apparently, he had been in recently, and already had that toy. He started screaming at me to get him another toy. His dad looked at me with an absolutely dejected look on his face and begged me to go get the toy. I dug through the new box of toys, and found one. The kid ripped it out of my hands, and ran outside… Directly into a rose bush.
My coworker was legit laying on the ground laughing.
22. Scouting out the Animals
Boy Scout camp out in Utah (when Boy Scouts were pretty much run by the Mormon Church). A porcupine walked through our camp and this spoiled rich kid got a stick and chased it up a tree. We all told him to stop. He wouldn’t listen. Scout leaders were off doing God knows what at the time.
So this porcupine is up the tree and now the spoiled weenie wants to shoot hard candy at it with his wrist rocket. He can’t get a clear shot so he climbs up the tree and sits on a branch under the porcupine. Shoots a hard candy at the porcupine and hits it, hard.
It was right then that he learned that when a treed porcupine feels threatened, it just lets go and lets the quills break the fall. The big porcupine fell right onto the spoiled kids shoulder, bounced off, hit his thigh and then landed on the ground. It waddled away and we just laughed at the now howling spoiled kid.
One of the scout leaders had to drive the kid to an emergency room. I hope he caught hell for not supervising too.
21. With a Little Help From My Friends
I was about 15, I was in the woods with some friends (local public nature reserve) playing on a rope swing, drinking energy drinks and eating snacks, chatting, just having a good time keeping to ourselves really. The rope swing itself was on a very tall tree, hanging over what I can only explain as a miniature valley (2 small hills, a gap in the middle, rope swing on one side but will reach the other side).
Then some kids came along on their bikes, maybe between 10-12, dressed up in tracksuits and quite mouthy, you know the type.
They told us to move along from “their” rope swing. It wasn’t theirs, I set that thing up myself because I was like a spiderman kid back then, I could climb anything. Obviously we said no, but we did say we’ll leave them to it for a bit if they want to have a go there’s no reason we can’t all enjoy it.
They wouldn’t take that answer, so we carried on playing on the rope swing, but then they begun throwing sticks and rocks at us, didn’t phase us.
Next thing one of them tries to show off, and speeds down the hill on his bike to try and grab me while I swing, but his mate throws a stick at the same time and it lodges in his wheel and sends him flying down the hill, to add insult to injury he flies right in my swing path and gets 2 knees to the ribs. Completely took the wind out of him, and so they all left feeling defeated.
It feels good because we did nothing out of order, the cards just worked in our favor.
My friends and I grew up in a small town and would occasionally build forts in the fields surrounding the town. We had a cool little area but turned out there were some other kids (three brothers) that had a fort nearby. We would try to sneak up on each other to spy on each other and every once in a while we’d play some mantracker like game. It was generally good times.
Until their little brother started being a stain. At one point he threw a large rock at my friend which gave him a nice gash, and threw a chunk of dirt at our other friend’s face. Then their dad came out and started yelling at us for some reason. The two other brothers didn’t even try defending their little brat’s actions either.
The next day me and my friend that got hit with the rock showed up earlier, before the other kids got there. The other kids’ fort was an old upside down mine cart, and they dug an entrance hole and an exit hole.
I had this idea that I thought was brilliant, to take a dump in their entrance (I was 14-15). So I did, it was a perfect turd, not too wet and not dry. I tossed a little layer of dirt over it to hide it. Then I went back to our fort and we watched and waited. Not too long later we saw them approaching. We were giddy with excitement.
The bratty little brother was the first that tried to crawl into the fort, and consequently ended up screaming when his hand smeared the turd. No regrets.
19. Lightsabers Bring out the Real You
Not the greatest, but it felt amazing in the moment.
We moved into a newly built neighborhood when I was 10, so everyone there had just moved in within about a year. There were a handful of us that were the same age, so we were all trying to make friends with each other at the same time. All of us were on the low end of middle class except for one kid, who was the youngest in his family and his dad had just gotten a 7-figure dismemberment settlement from an accident. He got whatever he wanted from that point forward.
He would flex on us (even though none of us called it that) whenever he could and ended up being one of the worst bullies I had growing up. But one time when we were 11, Attack of the Clones was about to come out and we were all hyped about buying toy lightsabers and fighting with them. 4 or 5 of us were playing in my house’s unfinished basement, and Spoiled Kid kept bragging about his more-expensive lightsaber and how it would destroy ours in a fight, while sitting on the side and not actually fighting anyone.
We all got sick of it and called him out on it, and he came in to fight me and my $9 Qui-Gon saber. 10 seconds in, I accidentally hit his fingers (which happened constantly in these fights) and he immediately started screaming and crying. The rest of us got silent, shocked at how much he was overreacting. He threw his saber across the room and ran out of the house.
He kept being a garbage pile until we both graduated and moved away, but for a long while, no one would let him forget what a whiny baby he was at lightsaber fighting.
18. Park Drama
I was at the park with my brother’s wife and their daughter (my niece) and oversaw this exchange: A young kid, probably around 5-7 was being obnoxious. Every 15 minutes or so, his grandparents (I assume) would gather his toys and bring him over to their bench and put him in time out for a few minutes. He threw tantrums, but they would completely ignore him when he screamed and calmly ask him if he was finished. Time out didn’t start until he stopped crying.
He would go back to playing, then get all wound up, and end up in time out again. This happened 3 or 4 times in the hour-ish we were at the park. Finally, he made a little girl cry by taunting her that she didn’t have a certain toy and he did. I think it was a minecraft thing.
The grandparents calmly walked over, took the toy from him, gave it to the little girl, and they left the park. The boy lost his mind the whole time they were leaving.
How about that kid who tried to get off from killing 4 people in a drunk driving accident by claiming he suffered from “affluenza”; being too rich to know right from wrong.
He was caught after fleeing to Mexico and ended up serving just two years in prison.
16. Epic Case
Didn’t witness it personally, but I went to high school in a super affluent area and a few years after I graduated a bunch of kids got busted because a kid paid his tutor for a flash drive with key swiping code, stole several teachers’ passwords, and changed his and his friends grades in the system.
They made the argument in their defense that it wasn’t their fault because they were so wealthy and used to being handed things that they didn’t know how to work for them (“affluenza” and what not). Got expelled, made national news for being arrogant, and all the other districts in the area argued over who would take them, because nobody wanted to.
15. Fantasy League Gone Wrong
My alma mater made national news again when a “prom draft” ring was exposed, where guys would get together and have a fantasy football style draft over who got to take whom to prom. It was exposed after a girl complained to administration that she didn’t want to go with the guy who picked her in the draft, and the guy threw a hissy fit because apparently he paid off a bunch of people to get first pick and thus felt he owned her on prom night. Everyone in the draft was suspended and/or banned from prom, if I remember correctly.
Arrogant rich kids are the worst.
14. Justice From the Ghetto
I grew up in the ghetto, so parents usually stayed inside, neglected kids, and told them to play in the streets. So one day I’m outside playing with my friend, I’m around 10 at the time and she’s 7, and an actual 3 year old starts calling us everything you can imagine. The kid ends up biting me so I go over and tell his dad. Dad calls me a b****, great.
Some time the same week another kid is harassing us, calling us poor and ugly and once again, b****es. So about fed up with this, he’s sitting over a rain drain so I grab his payday bar that he had apparently saved up all his money for (he’s like 6) and throw it down the drain. He starts screaming and wailing “I’m gonna tell Mama! My mama’s gonna beat your ass!”
I sit around while he tells his mum a few houses down, he comes back all righteous and tells me “Mama wants to talk to you.” So I go over to his house and his mum says “what did he do to you? I heard his side, I want yours.” The kid’s smile immediately drops. I tell her about the harassment and she smiles the sweetest little smile before beating his backside right in front of me. Justice from the ghetto everyone, thanks kid’s Mama.
13. Some Harsh Karma?
I used to babysit this boy down the street. His parents gave him everything he wanted. One time he shot a window out with a B.B. gun and when the neighbor came over to talk to his parents about it, dad basically took the position that his boy was too little to understand (he wasn’t) and gave his kid a bowl of ice cream. Presently he is in his 40s, unemployable and an alcoholic. He has been bouncing around recovery houses getting kicked out for not following the rules.
12. Stay in Your Lane
I played tenpin bowling as a kid. I was in a league, and in one of our tournaments, we often had a free lane next to us where we could take practice shots.
A kid from another lane got it into his head that he could just walk over us and use our lane to practice in. He also didn’t want us to rest our feet on the little ledge that was a metre behind him. I was a shy kid, but I still got up and confronted him, but he was adamant. So I sat down. So my father got up, grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him to face him and gave him a quiet, but very stern lecture. He never bothered again.
Not really epic or spoiled, but comparatively for a kid, I was quite pleased.
11. Taking Care of Business
When I was in about 3rd grade there was a 7th grader that rode my bus who decided he was going to kick my butt at the end of the day when we got off. I don’t remember the reason, but it was something stupid and he was just being a bully picking on the chubby kid.
Anyway, a bunch of 8th graders heard about it and they get off and beat HIS butt for picking on a kid almost half his age. Later that evening my mom gets a call from his complaining that I got people to beat up her son, but once the details came out he just got in more trouble and my mom was attempting to stifle her laughter.
10. Speaking up
Went to see a local high school play set in Nazi Germany, two rich teen girls with their fancy handbags etc sat the row in front of me. They spent the whole show talking quite loudly about how the actors were so bad etc, and at one point said “this is why I go to private school, so I don’t have to sit through this all day.”
As the intermission began and everyone was applauding the guy sitting next to me leant forward and told them “if you shut up you might learn something.” The look on their face was priceless, and I didn’t hear a peep out of them for the rest of the play.
9. Blocking Him out
I remember being like 5 or something and 2 kids were hogging all the blocks of one of those big lego block pits in their little castle. I asked for some and he threw it at me. He was probably standing on a stack of blocks to look over the wall, so I tossed 1 block back knowing he’d throw it back and when he peeked, I tossed it straight to his forehead. He fell down and probably broke something, but Jesus Christ, that was one hell of a satisfying throw. Right between the eyes, I remember it clearly.
8. The Experience Pays off
Working at a Chuck E Cheese one year.
Some little kid keeps getting pissed because he can’t win many tickets from a game. Kid begins to kick and scream. Toss stuff around, etc. I think he tried to hit one of the animatronics. When someone tried to get him to stop he pulled the, “DO YOU KNOW WHO MY DAD IS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE CAN DO TO YOU?”
We all just shook our heads and didn’t know what to say. Was his dad the owner? Rich? etc?
“Tell me what I can do.”
We see this guy in a business suit just standing there with a really pissed off look on his face. It was the kind of face that you look at and wonder if this man ever smiled. The kid just froze up and muttered something.
The man apologized and walked away. He came back a few hours later and gave all the employees gifts. I got an Xbox 360. One of the first generation ones. I still have it with me if anyone wants a picture. He just gave me the console. No wires, controllers, or anything.
7. Think Fast!
I was on the bus a year or 2 back and a kid and his mom were seated in front of me. The kid kept screeching about wanting to ”press the button” (you press a button to notify the bus driver that you need to get off at the next stop) because he liked the beep it made. Every. Single. Bus stop. This little twat screeched asking if he could press it yet. Finally his mom said he could press the button.
I pressed it.
It only beeps for the first person to press it.
The little brat cried.
6. Getting the Real Story
I work in an Apple Store as a Genius. A kid (13-15 yrs old) comes in with his iPhone X and tells me that he wants a new phone now. I ask him what is wrong and he says every time he plays Fortnite or Minecraft his phone gets hot. Explain to him that is an expected behavior for graphic intensive games and explain that I play PUBGmobile and my phone does the same thing. He screams “I want a new f***ing phone now!!”
And slams the phone on the table, which shatters the display. The phone drops to the floor (which is stone) and shatters the back. He looks at me and blames me for making him slam his phone. I tell him well now the phone is broke and that will be $549 to replace it since it’s now broken.
At this point his mom comes in and sees the phone and asks what happened. Her son starts to say that I did it. She looks at me and says what happened. I tell her and she laughs and tells her son to get the hell out and he will be without a phone until he can pay for it himself.
5. Sold to the Highest Bidders
Mitch got everything he wanted. Granted, he was smart and ambitious, but was also petulant and snobby. The combination made him virtually hated by everyone.
“I liked him more than most people did and I hate him” (paraphrase: Al Franken on Ted Cruz).
Our 3rd grade class would get monopoly-esque money for an auction of toys at the end of the year. If you were bad, you had to pay money, but if you were a little sycophant, like Mitch, you were filthy rich. At the end of the year Mitch surveyed all the toys and calculated how many “brownie points” it would take to swipe all the best stuff. One by one, Mitch swiped the best toys, always bidding perfectly. At the end, Mitch had enough for the most coveted toy on the table: the Chia Pet.
Brent had the second most money and timidly started the bidding. Mitch toyed with him and gradually raised the price until Brent had to go all in. Mitch raised the bid by a small margin and then Susan, who almost had a nerf gun, gave her sizeable pile to Brent and Brent raised. Mitch panicked and counted his money for a higher bid, but it was already too late. All the people he had screwed suddenly turned the auction into a popularity contest and Brent delivered the final blow. Mitch freaked the heck out and had the most satisfying meltdown.
If he had just tried to get a few things, no one would have wanted to screw him, but by leaving so many people with so much worthless cash, he was truly hoisted by his own petard.
Screw Mitch, lol.
4. Respect My Authority
I used to work security at a hospital and my booth was next to vending machines with candy that would agitate the hell out of kids. Kids have no finesse, and kids crying for candy are really annoying.
So any time I would hear the parent had decided no, but the kid kept on crying, I would walk out in my intimidating all-black security uniform, with the radio and huge keychains, and inform the kid that the vending machine is actually out of order.
Every single time they would shut up for good.
I believe I was a good security guard.
3. Eat Your Words
So a while ago I had decided to treat myself and go to Burger King. I hadn’t had the greatest of days and I had a headache coming on. It was a very long line and I was at the end of it waiting patiently. When behind me comes this woman yapping on her cellphone with a little monster of a child.
This kid was out of control, screaming, punching his mother throwing around a gameboy whenever something didn’t go right in the game. The mother didn’t seem to pay any attention to him and his continued yelling of ‘I want a ***** PIE’. After about 5 minutes of the line with these people behind me, I had gone from a headache to a full on migraine, but nothing was going to stop me from getting those burgers.
I calmly turn and ask her nicely if she can please calm or quiet her child down. Immediately she gets up in my face telling me I can’t tell her nothing about raising her child and to mind my own business. I nod and turn around, she’s still yelling at the back of my head when the child cries out again how he wants a pie, the mother consoles him, calling him sweety and ensuring they’ll get pies for lunch because she loves him so much.
Things immediately go back to the they were and I wait another 5 minutes before getting to the front of the line. It turns out it was so slow because they had 1 trainee on cash during the lunch hour rush. All I can think of is how the people behind me ruined my splurge and gave me this headache.
I then decide to ruin their day.
I order every pie they have left in addition to my burgers. Turned out to be 23 pies in total, I take my order and walk towards the exit. Moments later I hear the woman yelling, what do you mean you don’t have any pies left, who bought them all?
I turn around and see the cashier pointing me out with the woman shooting me a death glare. I stand there and pull out a pie and slowly start eating eat as I stare back at her. She starts running towards me but can’t get to me because of other lineups in the food court. I turn and slowly walk away.
2. A Serious Effort at Discipline
My nephew (by marriage) is a jerk. I had to drive him once and he kept messing around with the windows, so I locked them. Then he started incessantly pushing my door lock buttons.
So I stopped holding back farts and stopped opening the windows. And let me tell ya, this was during a phase in my life where my farts smelled like I might be suffering from some sort of colonic necrosis.
He gagged and sputtered and threatened to throw up. It didn’t matter. I just kept farting. In fact, at a certain point I thought I might crap my pants. I didn’t care. I was willing to do it just to make that little bugger suffer a bit.
Take that, Evan.
Neil Armstrong’s nephew or grandson or whatever was attending Space Camp the same week I was. There were many rumors of him being a little brat. It was confirmed true that almost every day he was at risk of getting kicked out. The last day of camp Neil actually spoke to a huge crowd of space nerds. Minutes before the speech, that little brat got kicked out, publicly, in front of mostly everyone at the camp. Neil must have been so embarrassed.