“We think of Craigslist as a form of Social Media. We provide a simple service that is mostly free and we leave money in the community, instead of taking it away. Shared values, nothing fancy, treating people like we want to be treated. What works on the net works for people in general. The net has very little to do with technology, what matters is how people use the technology.”—Craig Newmark.
For all its hype, the internet can be a weird place populated by even weirder people. Craigslist is certainly one of those places where the weirdos come out of the woodwork and parade around, sometimes in clear sight. Making a deal doesn’t have to be sketchy and neither does setting up an encounter, yet there are so many stories about them going awry. Here are some, in all their glory.
43. Serial Killer Accusations
I have a story where I thought the seller was a serial killer / was going to murder me in his basement...still went. Story:
I was looking for a chest freezer to convert into a kegerator, so a used freezer would be ideal as I had to make modifications anyway. I could tell from the photo the freezer was in an unfinished basement. The guy said he was moving and, "This is the last item left" (meaning: there is nothing else in the house).
I'm a big guy...6'5", 220 lbs. Also, I have a concealed weapons permit which I use in such situations. I set up the meeting and, armed, go meet the guy. Pretty much just as shady as I thought it was going to be, but he was cool enough.
We were moving it out of the basement, and just as we were loading it into the trailer, I had to move around and lift it up higher. When I did, my T-shirt lifted and he saw that I was armed.
Instant role reversal. Now he thinks I'm the serial killer! He instantly got quiet and nervous. He had previously agreed to do an "in person paypal" mobile to mobile. He gave me his email and I sent him payment. It wasn't showing up right away and he said "Oh well that's fine I know it will clear, have a good day, goodbye!" just like that and walked to his car and drove away (appreciating the blue sky, the white clouds, and feeling the most alive he's felt in a long time, I'm sure).
Two days later, I get an email "Hey, the payment never showed up...if you don't mind it terribly could you resend?" Turns out in his fear he'd given me the wrong email address.
42. That Sounds Like Harassment
I bought a bike from a man in a grocery store parking lot. His flaccid nether-region was sticking out of his zipper for the entire duration of the transaction.
41. Realizing You Were What Was Wanted
About 4 years ago I was trying to sell my Mazda Miata on Craigslist. My friend took some pictures of the car for me and put them online. All of the people who I had talked to on the phone were older men who seemed to have not read the description at all. Asking me basic questions that were in the ad that I posted.
It seemed a little weird because I guess I was expecting someone like myself to be drawn to that car (19-year-old females). Anyway, the calls started getting creepier and creepier until finally I had a man call who wanted to meet to see it. I was trying to find a public place, but he kept insisting we meet at my house.
He wouldn't even talk to me about anything related to the car and just kept asking where I lived and what my cross streets were (as if I'd be dumb enough to meet him at my house).
After it got really weird, I hung up on him and he kept calling back asking where I lived. I went online to remove the ad, and realized my friend had taken a picture that had me in it. That explained a lot.
40. Back In Nigeria
I was trying to sell my old laptop on CL. I was flooded with scam emails saying, "I would like to purchase this item for my brother/uncle/nephew/etc. who is studying/volunteering/doing missionary work in Nigeria. Please send your bank account number and information so I may wire transfer funds."
Seriously, I got like 100 of these emails all saying some variation of that story. They were all OBVIOUSLY very fake emails.
Anyway, I finally get a legit sounding message saying this guy wants to buy it. We meet at a Starbucks and he checks out the laptop and asks some questions, seems satisfied so he gets out his cash. As he hands it to me he says, "Thanks so much, my brother is over in Nigeria for his studies and really needed a computer so this will be a great gift!"
I accidentally burst out laughing, and he just looked at me like I was crazy and left.
39. Just Like The Movies
So here is a good one: My laptop got stolen out of my truck one night. Filed a police report and everything but they weren’t going to do anything. So being pissed off I thought I would check Craigslist and guess what? The guy who stole was trying to sell it on Craigslist two towns over. I had him send me some pictures of it to confirm that it was mine.
I contacted the police and we set up a sting operation at the local Starbucks and caught the guy. It turned out to be a minor and he had weapons and other stolen crap in his car. I was pretty proud of myself for that! I never thought I would see that laptop again. Guy didn’t even wipe the hard drive.
38. Magic: The Gathering Of Police
Selling sealed Magic: The Gathering boxes. Get a response, arrange to meet at a Starbucks open twenty-four hours. Arrive at Starbucks. See that there is conveniently an ATM on the same block. Grab a coffee and wait. There's a trio of police cars out front, also drinking coffee and talking.
Guy shows up. Checks in with me. Walks down to ATM. Comes back with a stack of cash. We walk to my car. He hands me cash. I hand him boxes. We both promptly get detained by said police, who are absolutely convinced that this is some sort of complicated drug trafficking.
Repeatedly demand to search both vehicles, which my new friend is adamantly against (and this being San Francisco, not too surprising). They open the booster boxes. Open some of the packs. Call for backup.
The backup that shows up, completely randomly, is a regular MTG player. Spends ten minutes convincing other officers that this is not, in fact, a complex drug deal.
37. Surprise! Gun Trade Gone Wrong
A buddy's dad was attempting to make a gun trade over a gun trading website, and asked to meet at a local convenience store. Well, the people inside thought that they were being robbed by two middle-aged men with rifles and proceeded to call the cops.
About 10 police cars showed up and surrounded them with guns drawn. Needless to say, he is more discreet now.
36. Thief Hubris
Wasn't me, it was two blocks from me though. Kid opened a craigslist ad for an iPhone 5. He would meet them outside the closed elementary school at an agreed upon time and rob them with what appeared to be a handgun.
Twist, He left the same ad up and just kept robbing people.
Cops eventually answered the ad and busted him. Once they got into his account, they found he had six more jobs planned.
35. That Was Not The Deal
I called a woman to buy a heavy bag from her. She said, "The price today is $35.00." I said sounds good, but I don't think I can get there today. Can I come get it tomorrow? She said yes.
I get there the next morning, and offer her the $35.00 (two twenties) and say, we said $35.00, right? She said that was the price yesterday. Today it's $40.
I stopped and said, "You're joking right?"
She said, "No, $40 is the price today."
I turned around to leave and she got upset saying something like I agreed to buy it, we had a deal, she stayed home so I could pick it up, etc. I said, "That was before the price was $40. I offered you $35 and you said 'no.' Sell it to the guy who agreed to pay $40. Goodbye."
She was still yelling at me as I left.
34. Craigslist Hold-Ups
I am a firefighter. A couple of years ago, I'm backstep on an Engine company working on one of the nights of our tour. The tone goes off and dispatch frantically dispatches my Engine and one of our ambulances to a gunshot victim.
We arrive on scene right behind the ambulance only to find a male in his late teens laying unresponsive on the ground with an entry wound in his chin. No respirations, no pulse. We begin CPR. As we cut all of his clothes off, we discovered that he'd been shot in the lower abdomen and also the chest.
So, as we later uncovered, the story was that he'd responded to a Craigslist ad from a guy selling headphones.
Our victim had been responding to ads on Craigslist, meeting people in quiet areas, and then robbing them at gunpoint. He'd also just recently gotten out of jail.
Well, the guy selling the headphones was a bit suspicious of the meeting place and asked his friend, who happens to be a county Corrections Officer, to come along.
When the victim arrived, he pulled a gun on them, and the CO opened up the passenger door to use as cover, drew his sidearm (which he is allowed to carry off-duty), and discharged three rounds in a "zipper" fashion upwards into the victim.
Our ambulance transported the guy, but he didn't make it.
My buddy, who is now a county Corrections Officer also, told me that the guy who shot the victim had been out on stress leave, and is possibly leaving the profession.
Yes, it all went terribly wrong.
33. Just Gross
My desk/office chair broke. I called the manufacturer and they sent me a new part for it, but it would be a few weeks until it got there. I didn't want to use a hard, uncomfortable chair for two weeks so I got on craigslist And found a guy selling an office chair for $15 near me.
The pic looked good, I called him and he still had it. I got to his place, and when I arrived he was outside cleaning his car. He took me into the garage and showed me the chair. It had a huge stain down the middle of the seat like he had pooped the chair or sat in it naked and let his juices flow into it.
I declined to buy it, and when he asked why I told him I doubt anyone will buy a chair with that stain on it.
32. Showing Up For A Friend
Some guy sold my buddy counterfeit Ping golf clubs.
It was in Kelowna B.C., and my buddy met the guy in a mall parking lot. He was well dressed and driving a Lexus.
The ad stayed up, so I called to get a set of clubs as well, and when he came to meet me, we brought a group of guys and got my friend a refund.
31. Who's The Crazy Guy Now?
I have only bought one thing on craigslist, which was the Game of Thrones S1 BluRay. My girlfriend found it and wanted me to go pick it up for her, so I told the guy to meet me in the parking lot of a crowded grocery store. I had heard all the stories about craigslist encounters going horribly wrong, so I was apprehensive about it.
It was hunting season, so I was wearing my knife at the time and had just finished taking my German Shepherd to the park. So when the guy finally got there, he saw a guy leaning on a truck wearing a big knife smoking a cigarette with an untethered dog in the back.
I think I scared him. He was all too happy to get my money and leave. I'm actually a nice guy I swear!
30. A Considerate Thief
My friend was trying to buy something off craigslist. He made arrangements to meet somewhere, agreed on a price blah blah blah. Couple minutes later, the guy calls my friend back and says, "Hey man, don't come. I was just going to rob you, but I heard some kids in the background when we were talking on the phone."
29. Planning A Robbery
I'm actually dealing with a bit of a sketchy situation right now. I had my wife list a mattress for $50. I originally paid $800 for it, and it's only 3 years old. Only one person emailed us, but never replied when we followed up.
So we decided to list it again for free. We received numerous replies this time, most of which were incredibly rude or demanding. We picked the only polite one out of the bunch and responded. My wife initially wanted to just email them our address and tell them to come get it. I argued it, saying it was a terrible idea and to see if they follow up with us before giving them any real information.
So they reply, we text them our address and tell them to bring a friend so they can carry it down from the third floor, and they had a timeframe of a couple hours to come get it. They don't respond. 6 hours later, we finally get a response saying, "Hi, are you home?" To which we reply yes. No response again. Getting suspicious.
Being in the law enforcement community, I am starting to feel like they may have intentions to rob us, which is why they are making the process slow. Maybe asking us when we're home so they can break in. Needless to say, we won't be responding to them anymore.
28. Now That Is Ridiculous
My father-in-law was trying to sell his 1967 Gran Torino that he spent two years rebuilding. When it comes time to sell it, he puts an ad on CL. A month later, some dude in Illinois emails him to let him know he's interested in purchasing the car. A couple of weeks go by and they haggle the price. Finally, they come to terms with the price.
The day before the sell, where the buyer was gonna come up and take the car, he calls my father-in-law and tells him that a tow truck is gonna come up and get the car. The driver will have the check for the allotted amount, plus $800. The $800 is for the tow truck driver for payment to haul the car. The buyer was wondering if my father-in-law would pay the driver out of his own pocket and keep the check.
My father-in-law saw right through the message and told him unless the driver was willing to wait around a day for the check to clear, then he was not going to do it. The buyer tried to nicely ask my father-in-law to acquiesce to his request, but he told the buyer to "screw off."
27. Laptop Robbery
Oh yeah. I needed Microsoft Office and noticed that people sold the program for cheap on Craigslist. One guy 20 minutes away was selling the program for 20 bucks. Told me to meet at his house late at night when he got home from work. Ended up being in a sketchy dead-end street, and told me to come in his garage, where he and a couple of his buddies were smoking inside.
This was my first thought of, "this is kind of weird." After I took my laptop out and put it on the table, one of his buddies tried to close the garage door on me. I realized what was happening, so I tried to grab the laptop and hit the sensors to leave.
The dude tried to grab the laptop at the same time, and I ended up in a quick tug of war with him. I let go and hit the sensors and decided to just leave and call the cops.
They hid the laptop, but I was able to use the "Find My iPhone" app, which finds laptops too, and got it back. I don't know how the guy thought he would get away with it.
Youtube
26. Probably Bought A Stolen Xbox
Bought Xbox+kinect from some guy for $180 for a Christmas gift. He said he couldn't go lower because he had bills to pay and gifts to buy for his family. He wanted to meet at a truck stop halfway between where both of us lived.
It seemed a little sketchy, but then again I didn't want to drive out another 20 miles. I was expecting some guy in his 40s in a minivan or something, so I sat there waiting for someone who matched the description.
Now, it was about 9:30 pm at the time and not many other people were at the truck stop except for me and some banged-up 70s Cadillac. I go up to the guy inside and ask if he's there for a Craigslist deal, and he says he is. It's a guy in his mid 20s smoking a cigarette with another guy in his 20s, also smoking a cigarette.
We quickly make the transaction. The Xbox is in awesome shape, still in the box and original cellophane. I'm thinking this is a one of a kind deal for $180, and start walking back to my car, when I see four or five identical Xboxes in the backseat of his car.
Driving home, all I could think of was "fresh off the truck."
25. Doing The Process In Reverse
Had a guy buy a car from me in reverse.
He first emailed me with an offer. I said, "okay," then we agreed to meet.
Then he asked for pictures of the car and engine. He probably should have asked before making an offer, but whatever. I obliged him.
We met and he agreed to buy the car and gave me the money. He said he'd be back the next day to pick it up. Fine.
He then called and asked if I could take it to a mechanic to have it looked at before he came back for it. Well, no...you already paid for the car.
He then comes the next day to pick up the car and after he leaves, he calls me to ask for a service history and/or a carfax and asks if there are any problems with the car.
What the heck?
24. Chinchilla Deeds
When I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, I inherited a pair of Chinchillas, which were her pets that she summarily abandoned upon the end of our relationship.
I put a post on Craigslist advertising them for sale ($250 for the pair with everything they came with including a GIANT cage and all their supplies). I did this not because I needed the money, but rather because I didn't want one of those people who picks up every little free item they can find to swing out and get them.
A woman calls me and asks if she can look at them, her son is dying for a chinchilla. So they came out and the kid instantly fell in love with them. He picked them right up (they are still kind of skittish, but we were religious about holding them) and he proceeded to tell me all about Chinchillas (as if I had never seen them before...gotta love kids).
So she hands me the money, and I walk over to the kid and say hey man, tell you what, you take this money and spend it on toys for the Chinchillas, and then I hand him back his mom's money.
I didn't need the money, and seeing that the chinchillas go to a home where they would be played with as opposed to living in my spare room alone was more than I was looking for.
So far it has been my best experience selling or buying anything on craigslist.
23. Couch As Treehouse
My friend decided to get a couch from Craigslist. The posting described it as, "Never been used for outdoor furniture," which I thought was an odd thing to focus on including in the ad, as I wouldn't think couches are normally used for outdoor seating. I told this to her, and she insisted it would be fine.
We drive about an hour to the house to get the couch. It was this older hippie couple. They were COMPLETELY wrong about the measurements they listed on the ad, and the SUV we took didn't really fit the couch.
They told us about 50 times how this couch was so important to them and they were happy to see it go to nice people. The couch had leaves and small tree branches underneath the cushions.
22. Being Nice Doubles The Reward
I once sold a smartphone on our local version of CL. The young girl and her dad showed up, I told them about the phone and showed them how it worked. It was a Windows phone from a couple of years ago.
A couple of hours later, the girl calls up crying that she didn't understand how it worked and asked if she could return it. Having a heart, I decided to take it back, thinking I would have to endure more emails from people trying to buy it. Next day, someone emails asking if I still have it and offers me almost double.
Things went better than expected.
21. Best Mugging Ever
I sold my original Xbox on CL and had tried to include over two dozen games as a package deal. A girl contacted me just wanting the Xbox for her boyfriend. We agreed on a time and she came over with a friend, another girl. Both were very attractive. We did the "see it works" test and I was unhooking everything to box it up for them.
She then asked if she could have all the games as well. I told her I was probably going to trade them in to get some new 360 games. She asked if she could have them for a discount, I was like, umm sure, there are 27 games here so how about $100, $4 a game? She said no thanks and got the Xbox and left.
About 3 hours later, knock on the door, I open and they are back and stinking drunnnnnnnk. They ask if they can hang with me because her friend thought I was cute. Yadda, Yadda, we have a 3way.
I'm in my bedroom when they get dressed to leave. Girl with the BF goes to use the bathroom and ends up going outside to smoke by her car, I walk her friend out, get her number. Turn around and notice my box of games is gone. Car is pulling out the driveway.
20. Craigslist Flippers
We bought 3 barstools off of Craigslist for $60.
We got them back to our place and realized they were about a foot too tall. So we put them back on CL asking for $120 for all three (expecting to be bargained down). Some lady called up and said she'd take them at $120!
We had a nice dinner that night.
19. Desperate Bands
I play bass for fun and side money. I've been to three band auditions that I saw ads for on Craigslist.
The first one, everybody was too stoned when I showed up to even tune properly. I have nothing against the green, but it was supposed to be a paying gig. It was an hour and a half and we got through two songs. Don't nobody got time for that.
The second one was a "3-5 paid gigs per month" bar band PRO GEAR REQUIRED. They were all in their 40s minimum. PRO GEAR apparently meant that they bought Marshall stacks and Gibson guitars because of the brand name. Two guitar players, and between the two of them they seemed to know about seven chords. The drummer was so out of shape that he needed a ten-minute break after two or three songs. If they were getting paid gigs, I'd love to know where.
The third one was an "original" band that supposedly needed a fill-in bass player for a few weeks. I show up to the audition and it turns out that the only remaining member of the band is a cheap knockoff of Slash who doesn't play any instruments.
After ten minutes, I knew why the rest of the band had left. In five years he'd written six songs, and all of them were clear knockoffs of other bands.
18. Avoiding A Robbery
I went to go look at a car for sale in a questionable neighborhood. The seller didn't speak English and his cousin was translating on the phone. As I'm looking at the car, four other Hispanic people come up without saying a word and just keep circling me and the car.
The seller hands me the phone to talk to his cousin and the cousin tells me to get in the car to drive to his house so he can broker the deal for us. I tell him, "I like the car but I didn't want to bring any money till I saw it in person. I can come back tomorrow with the cash."
Instantly the four other guys walk away, not one ever said a word. I had the cash, but I hid it in my car knowing the neighborhood I was going to was gang infested.
17. Couch Full of Surprises
I bought a really nice looking microsuede sectional on Craigslist for a good price. A couple weeks later, I lost my remote and realized stuff could fall behind the cushions and down into to the black fabric that is stapled to the underside of couches.
The only way to get it out was to cut a hole in this fabric. I got my remote out, and then realized there was other stuff in there too. I proceeded to pull out 2 mismatched dirty socks, toenail clippers, a bong, woman's underwear, and lastly a used and shriveled up condom. I stopped after that.
16. Remember The Pepper Spray
I was purchasing concert tickets to a show from a guy on Craigslist. I offered to meet him at a central location on our campus, but he instead insisted that I give him my entire course schedule for that day. Normally I wouldn't have agreed, but it was the day of the concert and I was desperate.
So I walked out of my last class and this large, ginger kid with a beard waved me down...I have no idea how he knew what I looked like. Then I realized that he had been waiting outside my last class as well. I carried pepper spray with me for the next few weeks.
15. Choosing The Wrong Guy
One time in high school my friend and I decided to casually browse the personals sections, just for laughs.
Or so I thought! She kept telling me about this one guy that she met and how he was so nice and so attractive...and so thirty-three years old. My friend was fifteen at the time. So one day after school, she goes to meet up with him, and long story short, they ran away together.
Luckily she'd given me enough information on the guy, so I talked to some burly cops and they were found on the other side of the country a few days later.
I later found out that this guy wanted to leave the state because he'd just been caught molesting his young daughter. I don't know why my friend thought going along for the ride was a good idea.
14. Hamster Infestation
I wanted a hamster. Found "free hamsters" on Craigslist. Called the phone number and asked, "Do you still have any hamsters left?" The lady replied, "Oh yeah, I just found some." ....did I hear that right? I must have misheard it. When I arrived at her house, there were several cages filled with hamsters.
She wasn't an intentional animal hoarder. She started out with two or three hamsters. But one of the hamsters escaped, and it was pregnant. They started breeding in her walls like rodents, and every time she would find one, she would put it in a cage.
When I arrived at her house, there were about 100 hamsters in the walls, under the couch, everywhere. Her house was infested with hamsters. She was genuinely overwhelmed and had no idea how to take care of the problem.
I gave her the phone number for a small animal rescue. They removed all the hamsters. I adopted two, Peanut and Teeny Bean. Teeny Bean had a massive facial tumor, one black eye, and one white eye (he was born without one and his eyeball socket filled with some kind of gel). The vet said these were cosmetic and he was otherwise fine. He was the ugliest hamster ever, and he loved to snuggle.
Rabbit and Pocket Pet Adoptions
13. Regretting Allowing The Stranger In The House
Yes! I foolishly let a strange guy come to my house to buy a used iPad that I advertised on Craigslist, for his son. He handed me $40 less in cash than I asked in my ad, saying it was all the cash he had, and that he figured it was a fair price.
When I refused to accept what he offered, he became irate, red in the face, slapped my table with his palm, said I was being greedy, and that everyone selling on Craigslist "negotiates" their asking price.
I tried to calm him down by saying that I had only had the ad in for one day, and I would be glad to call him if I couldn't sell it for my asking price. He angrily decided he still wanted it, and left to go to his bank to get the $40, slamming my door behind him so hard that the house shook.
As soon as he left, I texted him not to come back because I had changed my mind about selling the iPad after all. He texted me back apologizing, but I never responded. I felt really relieved that I got him out of my house, and also really stupid for allowing him to come in.
12. Roach Couch
My girlfriend and I arranged to buy a couch off of a couple in a fairly bad neighborhood. After a hassle of trying to find the place, we get in the apartment, the couch is in REALLY good condition, and it was retail listed for $,1200 while we were paying $500.
They were moving the next day and really needed to sell it. As I'm carrying one of the sections of the couch out with the guy, I see a bug scuttle across it. The guy flicks it off with a quickness and looks at me with the most apprehensive stare ever. Long story short, the couch was absolutely infested with roaches, like I'm talking thousands INSIDE THE COUCH. They knew.
11. Extorting For $20
I went to buy a semi-rare video game (Final Fantasy Tactics, before it became a Greatest Hit). Met this girl in a Wendy's parking lot, she gave me the CD case. I opened it and it was empty. I demanded my $20 back, she looked at me and said if I did anything other than leave, she would lie and say I assaulted her.
I pulled out my phone and started to pretend to record her (my cell at the time had no camera) and she started stumbling around, pretending I had attacked her. After a minute of this silliness, our eyes met and I think she realized how ridiculous this was getting and gave me my money back.
10. Miscalculating His Size
I once was selling a small spray skirt for kayaking. Basically, it's a tight rain jacket that bungees around the kayak to keep water out. I specifically advertised it as small. Anyways, meet up with a guy, he gets out of his truck and isn't huge, but certainly should be looking for a L/XL instead of a men's small.
He insists that he can fit into it. Spray skirts don't have zippers or anything, you just pull em over, and they can get quite claustrophobic. This guy tries to pull it on, gets like halfway in, realizes he's stuck, and starts to panic. I have to help him take it off.
All happened in a busy mall parking lot, too. The guy wasn't super mad, but said that he was frustrated that I wasted his time.
9. Wanted In Ohio
It was a few weeks before my Junior year of college, so this was 2010. I wanted to sell an old couch from my previous house because we were getting 2 new roommates and they already had couches.
I posted the ad, and 15 minutes later I got an email. The guy said he would pay $75 for the couch (I had listed it at $100) but would bring some Xbox games to trade to make up the difference. Okay, nice.
So he pulls up in a truck with two women in the bed. I insist on helping him get the couch outside but he says no and has the two women do it. Then it gets interesting. He says he only has $50 but if I took the money, he would "give" me one of the girls for 20 minutes.
Keep in mind, he told me this as the couch is sitting in his truck. I didn't know what to say. I took the $50 and said to just leave.
He was insulted for some reason and threatened to come back and, "Beat me and rob me blind." We moved to our new house the next day with our new roommates. Fast forward a month, I read my school's newspaper and on the front page was a picture of my old street with the headline, "Man arrested intimidating students at a party with a crowbar." My old residence. I read on.
His name was Bruce and his criminal background included 17 misdemeanors and an attempted kidnapping charge.
Also, just as icing on the cake, he was wanted in Ohio on numerous stalking charges. Craigslist...never again.
8. Craigslist Love Obsession
I bought an Xbox 360 from a Craigslist ad. The kid selling it was like 17. We met at a public location (Starbucks) at my request. I handed him the money, he handed me the 360. Then he asked me if he could buy me a coffee. I declined. He asked me if I wanted to go out sometime. I declined, thanked him for the Xbox, and left.
Well, unfortunately, he had my phone number and email address, as I had responded to his ad. He started sending me these long, angst-filled teenage emails about how he was "in love" with me, and I was his destiny, and texting me dozens of times a day...
7. This Coffee Tastes Odd
Bought a Keurig on Craigslist.
Used it for a couple of days, started noticing coffee grounds in my cup. Ignored it.
Saw a cockroach in my kitchen, and found out it was coming from the keurig. Took a flashlight to the inside, and it was infested with a nest of cockroaches.
It wasn't coffee grounds in my cup.
6. Deal Broken By Police
I went to buy an N64 with a ton of games and a few controllers for $100, he told me to meet him at a Walmart not far from my school, so I went after the school day. He told me that morning that he had a cherry red Mustang and to meet him at it at 3 o'clock.
I pulled into the Walmart and there has to be three or four cop cars around a cherry red Mustang. The guy was sitting on the curb while they took out a bunch of stuff from his car. He had like two pounds of marijuana on him and some other stuff. I was sad, I really wanted the N64.
5. The Curse Of The Engagement Ring
I had an engagement ring that I purchased that was never used (he left me for my best friend about two months later). But because I purchased it, not him, I kept it.
Well, at that point I figured I'd never actually get married, so I tried to sell it. I'd gotten it for a steal (pre-owned), so was selling it for between the value of it brand new and what I paid for it, making a slight profit.
Guy is very interested. He meets up with me at the mall, we go to the jewellery store it came from, they verify it is, indeed, a ~$2,000 ring that I am selling for ~$1,200. He sees he's getting a steal and says he will meet me the following day to purchase it, again at the mall because I don't want someone showing up to rob me instead or something.
The next day I get a text message. The general message was, "She accused me of cheating, I wasn't. She looked through my phone and found nothing. In retaliation, I looked through her phone and found messages from multiple men."
This dude had his life together and was getting ready to propose to her, spoke of nothing but her and the ring when I met up with him, and she was running around on him.
He did not buy the ring.
4. Don’t Be Fooled By The Looks
My buddy responded to an ad for a cheap car. He took it for a test drive, and it ran well, so they agreed to a price of $200. After the money changed hands, the seller said he'd go inside to get the extra keys and bring the car around. About two minutes later, the car passes by and continues down the street.
My buddy freaks the heck out and chases the car. Unfortunately, the car gets away and he is left to go back to the house and see if he can sort it out.
As it turned out, the car that passed by was just an innocent motorist with the same car merrily going about his business. It's very fortunate my buddy never caught up to him. I could only imagine the seller back at the house, wondering why someone would hand him $200 and take off running.
He did get the car after all, and it ran for two years.
3. Petty Revenge
At one point I drove about two hours out of my way to buy a limited edition red Wii. Corresponded with the guy maybe every half hour until pickup once I was on my way. Waited an additional hour after arriving. Guy was a no-show and didn't seem to want to answer his phone. Tried calling back for days afterward.
A month goes by and I decided to flip a DSi XL I got in a trade, and sure enough, the guy calls in response to the ad I put up. Thankfully I marked the number in my phone. Two wrongs do not make a right, but it sure felt good pulling the same nonsense on him.
Funnily enough, I asked him to meet about a block from where I was living at the time, just close enough to provide a window view of my revenge. Hilarity ensued, the guy didn't even make it half an hour before throwing a very public temper tantrum.
2. Vacuum Nut
I sold a vacuum; it was nothing special. I inherited it from a move out. My price was a reasonable $15. I described it as an average vacuum with average abilities. It was bought by a TA at CSU. She pulled up in a $40k car and wanted to haggle with me. I sold it for $10. She then proceeded to send me pictures of it not picking up things it vacuumed for an entire day. I got out of work and told her the hose was detached. "Oh."
Two days pass... Cue pictures of it not picking up stuff "to her standards." I reiterate the purchase price of said vacuum.
My parents come to town, she is blowing me up with texts and pictures of a dustpan of dirt from her yard dumped onto carpet as some kind of "display" ... I don't respond, I will refund her once my parents leave in ONE DAY!
We come home from dinner to her severing and smashing the vacuum cleaner to bits in my front yard, holding a note in her hand that said, "You can keep the money, jerk."
We basically caught her red-handed. She looked extremely embarrassed. I made her pick it up and throw it in my trashcan. Then I told her to leave and never come back. Also, she idiotically corresponded with me with her douchey email signature where she basically listed every achievement and address and life experience she'd ever had. I told her that if she ever did anything to my property, I would come find her. The end.
1. Methadone Bike Clinic
Put a barely used, fairly decent exercise bike in the "For Free" section as I was moving and didn't want to deal with actually selling or moving it. This is in Los Angeles by the way.
I get 63 emails in the first 10 minutes. First come, first serve. The guy and I e-mail back and forth and agree on a time later that evening.
7 pm sharp, this very small gentleman shows up. I let him up and show him the bike. He asks if I have the AC adapter for it. I go looking for it. It takes me about 5 minutes to rummage through a box and find it. When I came back out, he was going through my dirty laundry hamper and pulling out my dirty boxers and socks and setting them aside.
I asked him what he was doing. He asked if he could buy what he had set aside...Offering $20. With an overly perplexed look on my face, I blurted out something like "wha.... no.. just.. take the bike..." He didn't say anything. He just hurried out the door and left the bike.
The next morning, I replied to the second person who emailed about the bike. After giving him directions, he said he would meet me at 8:30 after he gets his mom's car, but won't be able to call me because he doesn't have a cell phone. Ok...Odd, but whatever.
He doesn't get there until 9:15. He's 6'0" and on drugs for sure. I ask him if he wants a hand getting it down the stairs. He declines hastily. Picks up the bike and hurries out the door with it, grunting like a doped up bear losing its virginity. I hear him struggle more down the stairs and shout, "You sure you don't need any help?"
He screams "No" back at me. I hear more struggling, then a bunch of tumbling and a loud crash. The guy fell with the bike. I rushed down the stairs to help him out, only to find that he left the bike (half-broken) and was sprinting back to his car. He gunned it out of there.
I ended up carrying the bike to the curb and posting about it on CL again. It was gone by the morning.
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